April 24th, 2014

Stella’s Munchies

Still reeling from #BiscuitGate, Stella Creasy is using recess to escape from her angry constituents – for whom of course the holidays are over – by taking a trip to Amsterdam. Remember Stella, if you get the munchies, don’t claim for your snacks on expenses this time…


  1. 1
    come on Chelsea says:

    Chelsea for the Champions League

  2. 2
    Munchies says:

    I’ve popped a few cherries in my time

  3. 3
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    I’d eat her jammy dodger

  4. 4
    The Growler says:

    My, what with Stella’s Munchygate and Dave’s porkypiegate, it seem we are well and truely being taken for complete numpties, none of them seem to learn

  5. 5
    The Growler says:

    You would, you swine!

  6. 6
    Owen "you know who" says:

    Guido is always pleased to see Steller. Never me.

  7. 7
    The Tosser in No. 10 says:

    I wish to make two things absolutely clear . . . viz, and to wit . . like Tony, . . . my principle recreations are

    1. Absolute and undivided self-interest
    2. (related to 1. above) easy appointment to a cushy job in the EUSSR or other high profile financially enriching pursuits

    Stella clearly has other more mundane predilections

  8. 8
    Len Mc says:

    A 24 carat Hunt

  9. 9
    Pre Di Lection says:

    But not when it’s too jammy – eh?

  10. 10
    The Growler says:

    Who on Earth is bothered, 22 little men kicking a bag of wind about for 90 mins, and the so called fans are fleeced big time right, left and centre.

  11. 11
    The Growler says:

    All together now, ahwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

  12. 12
    The Growler says:

    What about editor for the Pink News, that would be just down your street.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Dirty tricks from the GREEN Party He’s hoping to be elected as a Green MEP.

  14. 14
    The Growler says:

    That’s not what James Naughtie, in his naughty mode, said his name was.

  15. 15
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The boyfriend / girlfriend Amsterdam experience


    Tulip fields
    Anne Frank’s House
    Van Gogh Museum
    Vondelpark bike ride
    Rijksmuseum of art


    Heineken tour
    Club LV
    Banana bar
    Love Club 21
    Hemp Museum

  16. 16
    The Growler says:

    I had something similar from the Cons a couple of months back also urging me to get my postal vote.

  17. 17
    Bill Quango MP says:

    That’s a FREEPOST adress.

    UKIP pay in advance for the licence number for bulk mailing rates.
    So anything you send freepost to Ukip will be delivered for free.

  18. 18
    The Growler says:

    Which one did you go on Bill?

  19. 19
    Just another PX wonk says:

    Ukip posterboy suspended after claiming ‘Miliband not British’ http://tgr.ph/1hpI1fW

  20. 20
    C.O.Jones says:

    Was he holding hands with one of their policemen?

  21. 21
    Fish says:

    But Milipede is ‘work in progress’…last seen looking for an oak tree to sit under.

  22. 22
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I have been on both of course.

    if you go with the missus its usually option A.

    if its a Stag then option B.

    {Option B may require hospitalisation and a course of treatments, cancellation of facebook and all social media accounts, significant bank loan and a sworn bloodbrothers pact on ‘what happens in Vegas’ lines.

  23. 23
    Just askin says:

    Is there a Green Party free post address? I’d happily send all election shite to them.

  24. 24
    U have 2 be double dim 2 vote Labour. says:

    No Future With Labour.

  25. 25
    Bill Quango MP says:

    They probably make more money recycling their leaflets that are pushed back through their letter box than they do fund raising.

  26. 26
    The British media are cunts says:

    She’s dim but got nice legs.

  27. 27
    Will Straw & The Double Standards Labour Party says:

    Stoned! The whole of the Labour Party is paranoid!

  28. 28
    David Cummerbund says:

    I’m aiming higher than that. If War criminal Blair can be head of world peace than I expect to be appointed Archbishop of Canterbury at the very least.

  29. 29
    Dopey Stella says:

    Careful Guido you will make the dopey cow paranoid.

  30. 30
    lemon meringue says:

    a meringue nest is crumbly.
    feed the rat.

  31. 31
    Bill Quango MP says:

    In truth, on the one of the stag parties I attended there, a member of the UK’s finest Metropolitan police Vice Squad was discovered cycling nude round the tram station.
    He’d been eating those ‘cakes’ like chocolate chip cookies.

    Dutch plod took him in , but when we produced his police ID they just let him go. Probably they had no need of another sleeping policeman.

  32. 32
    Ed Moribund says:

    You’d be paranoid too if you discovered someone had stabbed your brother in the back.

  33. 33
    Me says:

    I’d pay to see dwarves kickin’ Kinnock.

  34. 34
    Len Mc says:

    Beeb leading with the nutters who go out to Syria as Jihadists many being killed,lets send frre flights there so more of them can meet their 100 virgins.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Hardback books also welcome:


  36. 36
    fuck off says:

    it is the end of creation so when creation comes, ….
    a tired face needs what?
    sperms are protein? good for your face? ask posh.
    nivea cream good for others.

  37. 37
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    I can assure anyone planning a ‘stag dos’ that Glasgow’s prostitutes are much to be preferred over those in the ‘Dam.

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    We should have Assad meet them at the airport in Damascus and machine-gun the fuckers.

  39. 39
    Jus Wunderin says:

    What animal / creature are these virgins? Human? / animal? / vegetable?

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Was she ever a brownie?

  41. 41
    Gooey Blob says:

    I’ve posted a few things back to Labour FREEPOST addresses in my time.

    It all takes time for their volunteers to open these letters and process them, so the best thing to do is write a rambling letter that asks questions without making it sound as though you are hostile in any way. If a candidate takes the time to reply, that’s even better…

  42. 42
    Owen Jones spokesperson for the muddle classes says:

    Call me Patsy!

  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    It is my experience that UK plod does indeed have a taste for the marijuana.

  44. 44
    i sun. says:

    i sun becomes the cloud. requires excessive effort.
    the cloud is above the son who is the junior sun.
    when the foot is tired use the citrus hand wipes on thy feet. marks knows.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

  46. 46
    The BBC says:

    Simple answer – vote Labour then we can all have biscuits again!

  47. 47
    google glass says:

    will the glass break?
    is it made of stone.
    now put ice and dice tone and use him as “ice” in the tumbler. should the drink be poured first? the stone that works as ice needs to be in the freezer first. chinese know.

  48. 48
    Curious says:

    Never in the field of human endeavour have so many paid so much to so few to watch 22 grown men play with a child’s toy.

  49. 49
    sushi says:

    sushi says, i am old (and worn out?).
    well that is the tamil tiger for you.

  50. 50
    Mrs Tea says:

    God. Labour have no talented MPs whatsoever. This is bad for democracy as we need a credible opposition to act as a check. But Labour is all about faking cool while they remain unfit to rule. The sooner Miliband goes the better it is for democracy. Miliband is weak! weak! weak!

    Like my tea, I like my men to be strong.

  51. 51
    A Grown-up says:

    Who’s the milksop brat doing this report?
    Is he Ghee-dough’s answer to little Owen Jones?

  52. 52
    Podiceps says:

    Biscuits contain sugar and fat. They will be banned as soon as the final solution for smokers and drinkers has been achieved.

  53. 53
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    Global Warming de-Bolloxed:

    From the FOIA hack of Univ East Anglia E-Mails, this gem (I have intentially redacted the E-Mail addresses – they are of course available in the originals posted on Wikileaks…):

    From: Phil Jones 
    To: Gil Compo 
    Subject: Re: Twentieth Century Reanalysis preliminary version 2 data - One other thing!
    Date: Tue Nov 10 12:40:26 2009
          One other good plot to do is this. Plot land minus ocean. as a time series.
        This should stay relatively close until the 1970s. Then the land should start moving away
       from the ocean.
        This departure is part of AGW. The rest is in your Co2 increases.

    This point can be tested.

    A cursory examination of the ICOADS data – which is the Sea Temperature record – I mentioned in a post yesterday has grown in terms of file size / month from 15mb in 1931 to about 700 Mb today: This is exponential growth.

    Monthly, about 1900 temperature measurements were recorded by ships in 1931, whereas for Jan 1970 there appear to be about 188549.

    Looking at the difference between sea and land temperatures, and observing that average land temperatures are rising slightly compared to the sea suggests several scenarios:

    i) The land is warmer than the sea. That does not suggest global warming, but does suggest that 29% of the temperatures measured (on land) have increased. As the number of land based recording stations have increased, adding grid points in desert regions for example could lead to this.

    ii) With more grid points in the sea, it may be a more accurate picture of sea surface temperature is emerging. Increasing sea grid points away from land would lead to a lowering of average sea temperatures which is simply a function of having more data on which to determine average sea temperatures.

    iii) Man’s activity could be causing land to heat up – eg. increased urban development, particularly if weather recording stations are on average located closer to urban centres over time as development has taken place.

    As can be seen from one of the UK’s lead researchers in the mail above, there was not too much science going on.

  54. 54
    Podiceps says:

    I think that if you met a strong socialist you might reconsider your opinion.

  55. 55
    put your feet in the bucket. says:

    the bucket is on the head and it is made in india. now use a hammer and bang you teeth. pls be my puppet master.

  56. 56
    Greenie Mong says:

    Unlike our green fluffy bunny leaflets, you cannot wipe your arse on UKIP leaflets; they are of the John Wayne variety – rough, tough and take no shit from anyone.

  57. 57
    Bosun Higgs says:

    No street signs in Amsterdam? What planet is she on? Every street corner is clearly labelled, Kakkengracht or whatever.

  58. 58
    fishie says:

    ok millie, clean my feet.
    norty says “professionally”
    dri cleaner is a fatty though. how he has survived the steam is a wonder,
    he is all altitude but was enlightened today that attitude also exists.

  59. 59
    Podiceps says:

    The cited email that was formatted with a ‘pre’ tag, and has partly gone off the screen, reads:

    From: Phil Jones
    To: Gil Compo
    Subject: Re: Twentieth Century Reanalysis preliminary version 2 data – One other thing!
    Date: Tue Nov 10 12:40:26 2009

    One other good plot to do is this. Plot land minus ocean. as a time series.
    This should stay relatively close until the 1970s. Then the land should start moving away from the ocean.
    This departure is part of AGW. The rest is in your Co2 increases.

    News to me that the land will move away from the ocean. Leaving what in between, jelly?

  60. 60
    Steller's sea cow says:

    But they’re in an awful, awful foreign language. So uncivilised, my dears. I thought they were advertisements for marijuana.

  61. 61
    Jimmy Savile, Retired BBC Star says:

    Now then boys and girls! I always gave biscuits to my special girls!

  62. 62
    Nige Farage and his magic garage - a song, a dance, go on, give us a chance! Will smoke for votes! says:

    And I want to be appointed head of the IMF, as I need to make up for that hastily closed “Education Trust”!

  63. 63
    RomaBobieBooBoo... says:

    Are you suggesting she will be on the funny baccy?

  64. 64
    Libertarian says:

    I wonder if they know how much we despise them? Maybe they do and they don’t care. Maybe they’re so dim that they put all down to ‘voter apathy’.

  65. 65
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Cornwall is not England.
    Balkanisation continues.

  66. 66
    RomaBobbieBooBoo... says:

    EggBalls on NE BBC tonight… that f*cker could not lie straight in bed !

  67. 67
    RetardEd Millionairetwat, the great white hope says:

    And I want to be twuthted with adminithtewing my late commie fatherth will, so my tw4t of a bwuther and I don’t have to pay all the taxth he wanted uth to pay, and we thud have!

    Oh, hang on…. I wath! Wethult!!!!!

    Vote Wabour! (Thatth to all ve wittle people my fwiend Polly wuvth thoooooo much! I don’t. – they’re too poor)

  68. 68
    Podiceps says:

    We zijn allemaal tot onze nek in de Kakkengracht, dankzij de bloedige EU.

  69. 69
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Oh dear! I have done nothing of Option B although I have had a few beers there over the years. As for list A, I have done:

    Anne Frank’s House
    Van Gogh Museum

    and the following:
    Royal Palace, Concertgebouw, Stedelijk Museum, Allard Pierson Museum, Amsterdams Historisch Museum, Rembrandthuis, Maritime Museum, Biblical Museum, Niewe Kerk, Oude Kerk, Ons’ Lieve Heer op Solder, Zuiderkerk, Westerkerk, Waag, Munttoren, Trippenhuis, Oostendisch Huis, Driegrachten Huis, Gedempte Begijnewsloot, Beurs van Berlage, Blauwbrug, Magere Brug.

    Very sad…

  70. 70
    it SX says:

    science is ficrion saya: tye cast of the tiger with the head of the cheetah is out and replaced by a raised budha on his chair of a throne. is the chair bloody? depends on yoir anger level. in case, budha all hot air. it has now lifeted iitself. the ethopian vulture knows hot air. buy hot air and float? buy vultures and learn about disease eradication and natural recycling/efficiency. buy ethopia and that is a kind of utopia when the olympiad is on your side, but then maybe not. only evil who is the god with the persecution complex knows.
    be bice to you.
    not nic. not vice.
    jut nice…be superfast when being nice to you. is virginity practical? is a transfer from sky to Branson worth the effort. …
    be practical. those with an excessive heart, i.e strength of heart are the winners at present.

  71. 71
    Joan McAlpine says:

    I know when I’m licked.

  72. 72
    broderick crawford says:


    Are tulips claimable plse ?

  73. 73
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Bilingual schooling for Elmet! Cambric classes for Renfrew, now!
    What do you mean, that Welsh (British) is extinct in those areas?

  74. 74
    Gropecυnt Lane says:

    What abaht Landan?

  75. 75
    Ivy Trellis says:


    Beautiful British Name

  76. 76
    Slut says:

    UKIP also dominating our local lib dem leaflet with KEEP THS MAN OUT splattered across photo of Farage being delivered as I type!!

  77. 77
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Does he want a chocolate finger?

  78. 78
  79. 79
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:


    However, measuring air temperature above the sea, which is a big heat sink, will give different results to land – think cool onshore sea breeze, vs. warm winds you would usually find going offshore. (Think also east / west to ignore effect of warm winds coming from Tropics, cool from Poles…)

    They were using the following data set for Sea Surface Temperatures:



    It is noted that since 2008 when satellite AVHRR SST data were incorporated a slight cold bias of order 0.01C was introduced.

    Phil Jones was looking to exploit the difference between land / sea temperatures getting wider as evidence of man made global warming.

    To be clear that was a widening caused by changes in the dataset which had seen sea temperatures lowered slightly.

    In the field, this would have been widely known at the time.

    The biasing is most likely due to a continued improvement of the average temperature determination vs. reality by the addition of more data points. My point above is that over the years the amount of data collected in relation to sea temperatures has gone up exponentially.

    Researchers tried their best to account for the bias, not to determine if the instrumentation was in error, but it would appear more in order to keep the figures fitting the funding narrative.

    For 71% of the surface of the planet to have an average temperature determination based on < 2000 grid points, many of which were recorded close to land in the 30's would render any attempt to determine mid-ocean temperatures (which are now known) highly speculative.

    This is a gift which keeps on giving.

  80. 80
    Barrack Obama says:

    Has anyone seen his birth certificate?

  81. 81
    Tree trunk says:

    Used to have. Piled on the pounds since she got to Westminster.

  82. 82
    Prince Blair says:

    Not much chance of that in the modern Labour Party

  83. 83
    Prince Straw says:

    She’s a prude. She’s also as tight as a duck’s arse. She’ll probably spend her time weeping at the prices at the Anne Frank museum shop and decide to tweet selfies of herself as a souvenir.


  84. 84
    Jack Ketch says:

    IF Green party hobos and self-abusers shove leaflets with their scientifically inaccurate twaddle through your letterbox, just take the brochures around to their election office and punch the stupid bastard sitting there in the face.

  85. 85
    Fred the pensioner says:

    We should really castigate the Pastygate One.

  86. 86
    Carlos says:

    Does Marie Juana also fiddle her expenses?

  87. 87
    Dutch Auction says:

    Indeed! What a waste of fucking time!!

  88. 88
    A ppassport problem says:

    Forget about millipede.

    Phil the Greek is not English either.

    So the questions arise, how many nationalities can/do his offspring (unto the third generation so far) claim to hold and what influence can that have on our future?

  89. 89
    not-a-UKIP-fan says:

    That’s untrue – standard royal mail freepost requires a one-off fee then a payment per mail item received – which is above the normal postage rate. I have just returned my UKIP leaflet “with love from scotland”.

  90. 90
    Stella says:


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers