April 23rd, 2014

Chuka Time is Back

It’s been a while, but panic not, it looks like Chuka has added yet another new watch to his already impressive array of giant timekeeping devices:

Lucky Chuka spent last week visiting the White House. The real one this time, rather than his family’s villa in Ibiza that goes by the same name…


  1. 1
    Chuka is C-list trash says:

    Is that one of his £2000 suits?


  2. 2
    Finbar Saunders says:

    While House – typo?


    • 45
      Fucking seething says:

      Basic people like shiny, blingy things!


      • 95
        Django the arbiter of good taste! says:

        I can’t tell what make the watches are becuase the pics arent clear,they don’t look like class pieces such as Patek, Rolex, Audemars and probably not vintage either. More likely cheaper makes Weil, Armani, Gucci, Which to me at least isn’t good taste. I can also see him owning an Audi coupe , which says it all really… Yuk!


  3. 3
    Breaking News says:

    The jury in the indecent assault trial of publicist Max Clifford has been told they can return a majority verdict. Judge Anthony Leonard, sitting at Southwark Crown Court, told the 10-person jury he would accept a verdict on which nine of them agree. The jury is currently on its fifth day of deliberations.


    • 32
      Ambidextrous says:

      Fingers crossed!


      • 99
        broderick crawford says:

        Sorry … TEN person jury ??
        What happened to the ” TWELVE good men /women and true ” ??

        So from 12 we are down to ten and the judge says nine is okay for a verdict …. which represents 75 percent of an origibnal 12 Person jury .

        So much for unanimous verdicts ..


        • 115
          Numerologist says:

          Two of the originals were dismissed during the proceedings. To make the number up to 12 again would mean a retrial etc etc.


          • Tom Catesby says:

            Were the other two sent off injured? I thought they had spare jurors at trials. They did when her indoors last did jury service.


    • 61
      Good men and true says:

      10-person jury? What happened to the other two?


      • 76
        LSD says:

        We’ve gone decimal.


      • 84
        Jack Ketch says:

        12 good men and true is now any old number of ratty scummos pulled off of the street; sex, intellect, national origin, criminal record or ability to understand the proceedings-or even the language used is no longer a criterion. A barrister recently told me that any White person who elects for a Jury trial in the greater London area needs his head examined.


        • 100
          broderick crawford says:

          well if you plead not guilty what else is open to you other than a jury trial … oh of course .. there s always a Diplock Court …. silly me .


  4. 4
    dai musically says:

    oh it ain’t no fault of mine
    it ain’t no fault of mine

    if the guy who stole your watch gets time

    it ain’t no fault of mine


  5. 5
    catesby says:

    Who is this Chuka idiot?


    • 39
      Purpletastic says:

      He is the shadow business secretary and is a solicitor by profession.

      Keeps trying to make a name for himself by grabbing all the air time he can.
      Unfortunately he talks like a solicitor all the time and has studied the Blair delivery far too much. It’s something the public are very tired of.

      If you add to it that he never seems to know what he is talking about and that he is mostly all bling and no trousers, he is precisely the sort pf person we shouldn’t elect.


      • 85
        Jack Ketch says:

        In Southern Africa, “Shadow” was a disparaging name for black people–one of those names coined when they worked what the last popular insult meant.
        Every time that I read about the “Shadow Business Secretary”, I allow myself a smile–it is like calling him the H.N.I.C.


        • 89
          Jeremiah Klaxon says:

          I’d like to thank the BBC today for informing all the people that did not know previously, that the word “slope” can be viewed as derogatory when used in the context of a bridge in Burma that is not level. Particularly if there is a local person standing on it.


      • 111
        Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:

        In short he’s Hunt.


      • 123
        Tom Catesby says:

        A SOLICITOR! I didn’t know that, well that explains everything!!!!


      • 124
        Burtons says:

        No trousers? He appears to be wearing a very expensive pair of trousers and jacket to go with them.


    • 68
      dai approving says:

      that looks like a self-answering question – an admirably economic device


    • 122
      Tom Catesby says:

      Is that you Bob, where’s the fifty quid you borrowed?


  6. 6
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    He really is the ethnic version of David Cameron. Go Chuka !


  7. 7
    JH293275709234-027 says:

    People who obsess about watches are almost invariably narcissists. They really think it is a projection of their status.


    • 17
      Thrill Seeker says:

      If you have to know what the time is when you are busy enjoying yourself, you are at someone else’s beck and call.


    • 21
      Maximus says:

      Vlad has a thing about taking expensive watches off people. I don’t think that’s what irks them (they have the cash for a replacement). It’s that Vlad puts these watches in a collection, which means these narcissists get to rub shoulders with each other metonymically in a box.


    • 22
      Apthorpe says:

      He perhaps needs to read some Faulkner?

      “…I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire…I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.”

      ― William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury


    • 24
      Bert says:

      I just myself a new Casio at Argos, £8.99.

      Hmm, what would a shrink say about that?


    • 101
      broderick crawford says:

      Watches are today superfluous … just look at your mobike phone .


  8. 8
    Yuppie says:

    Good for him, he’s a high flying city lawyer who enjoys partying in Ibiza and has expensive tastes for big watches.

    He’s the picture of success rather than some public sector waster.


    • 11
      Are you high? says:

      Eh? He’s an arrogant, two-faced hypocrite who keeps bleating on about “my constituents” while living in the lap of luxury, calling ordinary people “C list trash”, preaching about inequality while using a web of offshore tax shelters for his family wealth and is so narcissistic that he edits his own wikipedia page to boost his profile.


    • 26
      Apthorpe says:

      You’ve clearly never met him as i did once. A total scrim shanker of the first order. A perfect example of all that is wrong with British politics.


  9. 9
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Welcome to maaaahvellous, fantastic, vibrant, multicultural London:



    • 20
      Democracy Now says:

      Too many councillors have a vested interest in corrupted planning enforcement departments. Eric Pickles, however, won’t do a thing about it. Maybe he’s lazy or bent himself. Your theory is as good as anyone else’s.


    • 33
      táxpáyér says:

      subsidised Migration isn’t the problem, it’s the economic law of gravity that needs fixing according to the beeb.


  10. 10
    Willl H says:

    Using words like ‘inspiring’ in this context and posting pictures of himself looking sympathetic / earnest / fascinated at the same time deserves a punch in my book – beacuse none of it is authentic


  11. 12
    The Green Fairy says:

    Penis size and watch size are inversely correlated – ask any pilot.


  12. 13
    Perse O'Nalley says:

    When the little hand is on 12………………….


  13. 14
    they made a mistake coming here says:

    did any of you people live in houses with high ceilings ? you would say. ” well, there is an appreciation of how somebody would like to be ”
    those were built by our grandfathers or great grandfathers with an intention.
    do you understand ?


  14. 16
    Fish says:


    There’s been a major road closure in Streatham this morning, following an accident.

    Congestion, bus diversions, disruption but nothing, nada, not a thing from Chucky’s regular traffic tweet service. What sort of an MP does Chucky think he is if he can’t be bothered to keep up this essential service to Londoners?


  15. 19
    non taxable pikey says:

    Bigbott has been quiet lately, I always worry when I don’t know what she has fucked up recently. Not been on the box either, can’t the BBC afford her any more? How will she pay the kid’s fees?


  16. 23
    they made a mistake coming here says:

    there is power in democracy taken by schemers and given in idea only to the plebs, here is a scenario Plebs realize they have been stitched up and locate those and string them up from lamp posts.


  17. 29
    The Bog Standard Labour Party says:

    Pretentious leeching socialist.


  18. 30
    Jack the Ripper says:

    One might almost suspect that the watch was the real subject of the photo.


  19. 34
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Bumsex ??


  20. 35
    Lefties really are clueless as to how pathetic they are says:


    • 50
      JH-21334578745 says:

      Hey Dave, feel free to fuck off and put on a rictus grin at some diversity.

      What is it about lefties being so desperate to hate everything about this country’s traditions and people? What triggers it? What dr*ves it? What do they get out of it?

      (amended for sodding modbot)


    • 81
      England without the anti-English wouldn't be so bad says:

      Funny how the left never have any problem with the bombs and bullets of Irish nationalism.


  21. 42
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    What a silly bunt.


  22. 43
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    Only trash and C-list wannabes wear cheap watches.#Britain’sObmama.


  23. 44

    A suitable footnote to the long discussion on last weekend’s Sat’urday Seven Up page may be found here:


    Especially to the point is its conclusion:

    Many of the more thoughtful commentators in British politics have been contemplating how to have a proper conversation with Ukip-leaning voters about their fears over immigration, Europe and national identity. Ukip’s approach on these issues [may not be*] the right one, but calling a large section of the electorate closet bigots for harbouring anxieties that are absent from Hampstead dinner tables is not the right one either.

    * My amendment



  24. 46
    Gordon Gordon says:

    I have finished my examination of the Great Recession and the financial crash.
    It turns out, Thatcher dun it.


  25. 47
    Just the One beer at lunch says:



  26. 49
    Really Don't Want to Know says:

    Is there some kind of queer convention with watch sizes?
    The first time I noticed something was in a restaurant in Geneva about 10 years ago, when a “couple” on the next table, who were obviously on a blind date, swapped their enormous watches before leaving arm in arm.


    • 87
      John Bellingham says:

      Back in the 1970s, the “Big Watch Brigade” used to be a euphemism, rather like “Friends of Dorothy”, “Boys in the Band” or “Confirmed Bachelor and Member of the Liberal Party”.


      • 108
        broderick crawford says:

        In East End parlance a Gold Watch used to mean a Scotch .

        After 20 years of Eastenders it now probably means a ” Gold Watch” ( stolen goods ).


  27. 56
    Andrew Mitchell MP says:

    If you want to know the time, ask a ****ing policeman.


  28. 58
    by jove says:

    there is the immigration of humans by the physical transportation but what is clearly happening is the transportation of ideas. I can understand this because I am an outside observer yet one which loves England as once was.
    by killing and feeding to pigs our enemy that are amongst us by this manner will peace will exist.


  29. 62
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Bumsex & Chocolate digestives are the business.

    But not necessarily in that order.


    • 109
      broderick crawford says:

      Let s be clear here Prime Minister:

      Are you advocating Chocolate Digestives as a form of restorative healing balm to apply over a highly inflamed topical area following intense physical activity thereon ?


  30. 66
    Colourblind says:

    Shouldn’t Chuka’s house be The Half-White House? His mother was Irish, after all.

    Ditto for the American one as Obummer’s mother was white. Not that it will stop the papers calling him black.


  31. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Social entrepreneurs?

    So someone who can access the till at their labour council office?


  32. 71
    Nigel"The Cheeky Chappy" Farage says:

    I went to the auditions for Britain’s Got Talent but got turned down almost immediately.

    My passport reads “UK resident”.


  33. 75
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

    The trick is to force Millionaireband to offer a no strings referendum. After that all received wisdom around the 2015 GE is as useless as the spineless git in #10.


  34. 83
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Are he and Ms Lucitania Borgia still an ‘item’?


  35. 91
    Charlie the Chump says:

    Please no more chukaimages


  36. 93
    Confused of Canterbury says:

    Hey Chucker, are you a bumsex marriage supporter, or are you a proper African who thinks qu eers should be exterminated?


  37. 105
    Slave Labour @bbc.co.uk says:

    Leeching parasitical CRIMINAL SCUM!


  38. 106
    The Bog Standard Labour Party says:

    What a creep!


  39. 116
    I'm in love with myself says:

    You can see he’s been practising that “I really care” expression and posture in the mirror… but it ain’t working… you can see he doesn’t even want to be Chukbama, he wants to be Chuk Daddy.


  40. 117
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Chucky certainly doesn’t need a bullshit incubator.


  41. 128
    Anonymous says:

    “giant timekeeping devices:”
    Yet the realisation that species rely on reality’s clock, not invented ideology’s, is tardy in its arrival.


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