April 22nd, 2014

WATCH: Moyes for UKIP


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am the Shortbread King


    • 8
      Confused.com says:

      How do you get something from another site before they have it??


      • 141
        english minority says:

        Nige, ” Were not razzist, just look we ve bought so.oty along on my left. What do you think so.oty ?”


    • 29
      Princess Po-face Polytwaddle, seated on Her High Horse, talking down at Common People says:

      I am ALWAYS Right !!!

      I am NEVER Wrong !!

      As you see, I am wearing my effnic clothing today to show solidarity with my musso sistren.

      The fact that I can only show my eyes and peer through this stupid slit should not detract from the wisdom of my words, the whining in my voice, the hand-wringing gesticlutaions.

      How can I survive outside of the EUSSR??? Who will pay my exorbitant and altogether ridiculous fees if the BBC is hamstrung? (oohhh did I mention ham???!!)

      I must lie down and think of Gordo . . .


      • 176
        broderick crawford says:

        There has been a suspected outbreak of ebola in Pisa resulting in a lockdown of 40 patients in its hospital .
        Pisa is within the Tuscan environs .

        Hopefully we will thus be rid of polly s future reams of twaddle in short order.


    • 46
      (Optional) says:

      Radio 5’s Richard Bacon is really annoying.


      • 57
        just saying says:

        I don’t listen for that very reason.
        Yet another privately educated BBC type
        who knows sweet FA.


      • 86
        'Mad', the Midlands Moolah says:

        No Bacon in Musso Land! – that’s a direct order punishable by stoning

        as is

        getting stoned


        • 177
          broderick crawford says:



    • 61
      Anonymous says:

      UKIP speaking more common sense.

      The MSM never report that UKIP want a balanced immigration policy based on demand and skills, just like Australia, New Zealand, Canada, etc etc.

      Why do they willfully ignore that ?

      Why do they simply shout raaaaaaciiiissssstttt.

      Why do they try and shut down any sort of informed debate ?


      • 82
        Immigration Expert says:

        Canada? Canada is the dusbin of the world.


        • 97
          Frogophile says:

          There’s a big frog contingent there – so careful


        • 148
          Anonymous says:

          So is Canada racist.

          Is Australia racist.

          Is New Zealand racist.

          In fact you need quite a lot of skills and money in the bank to get into Saudi Arabia. Are they racist as well ?

          The valid question remains, is it racist to seek a managed, skills and demand led immigration policy ?


          • Newt says:

            New Zealand isn’t racist. We welcome migrants from all over the world; England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Holland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, France, Russia, US, Canada, Australia, almost everywhere. How can anyone call us racist when we even welcome the Belgians?? Honestly.


        • 179
          Common Sense says:

          No it’s not. Africa is.


  2. 2
    Nermal says:

    Well it looks like it is a Farage day for Guido.


    • 50
      Alex Ferguson says:

      Man United are short-sighted never scored a goal in history,
      They wear rubies on their boobies fa la la la la la la la la.


  3. 3
    nell says:

    Prime Minister David Cameron sectioned under Mental Health Act after promising the electorate a straight “in/out” referendum on the E.U.


    • 63
      Anonymous says:

      Trading Standards to arrest David Cameron for calling himself a Christian with Christian beliefs and values.


      • 101
        Half-cock Cameron says:

        I say!!!! I give jolly good value! – ask anyone in the Cotswold Millionaire Belt


        • 149
          David Cameron says:

          I have you know I’m a complete 100% hypocritic cock, no half measures for me.

          In fact I gain considerable moral strength from my faith as a complete Christian cock.


  4. 4
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    You’ll never win anything with Moyes.


    • 7
      Nermal says:

      Maybe the boy Milliband should apply for Moyes job, he could be standing on the touchline shounting “lack of goals cwisis”


      • 30
        Steve Miliband says:

        He’d have lots of strikers on his side.


      • 113
        filipinomonkey says:

        Elect me your manager and I promise a goal freeze for the next two years! I guarantee to you the striking force of Balls and Harman will lead to unprecedented levels of own goal scoring. With our top team, a place (last) in Europe is certain. Fitness levels under Burnham will change dramatically.

        We will buy all the best American election gurus using the banker’s bonuses which will guarantee we will be the first team and the nasty bullies in St Toffs will be relegated.

        All supporters can watch for free, players will have pay rises (financed by banker’s bonuses) of above the rate of inflation to protect them from the cost of living crisis which has seen nearly all footballers wives begging at the Alderley Edge food bank for value brand spaghetti hoops.


    • 36
      The wot owyns Man. U. says:

      A little Moyes
      Always annoys


  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    it’s all due to the Americans


    • 11
      Jimmy Hill says:

      All due to the egotistical and supremely vain SAF. He chose Moyes, not the MUFC board, because he knows Moyes couldn’t do the job and would make it look like MUFCs success was down to his management and not the vast resources they (used to) have.

      Bit like Blair allowing McDoom in after him. He knew it would make him look superior, rather than just looking like he was in the right place at the right time.


      • 20
        M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

        Bollocks it was the Jockenese Mafia at work. I bet Moyes ain’t a catholic.


    • 15
      History says:

      Americans never pay their dues.


    • 23
      James (Gordon) Brown says:

      ♬ It started in America … ♬


  6. 6
    Farago says:

    He’s nicked my joke:


    Nice to see UKIP central command reading the comments.


  7. 9
    M says:

    No chance of farage leaving Europe , that’s the champions league of troughing .
    Just let his minions do the Westminster premiership
    Submit any expenses yet , Nigel ?


  8. 10
    Spoonface Cameron says:


    • 17
      M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Similar to Miliband he stabbed his brother(‘s wife) in the back(side).


    • 18
      Sir Alex says:

      Thank god my wife was a GILF.

      Oh and auctioning my wine collection for a few million. Not for charity you understand……we champagne socialists must keep up with the joneses.


  9. 14
    David Cameron says:

    Christianity is very important.



  10. 19
    No but Yeah,No but Yeah or sumfin or nuffin says:

    What’s the difference between David Moyes & the captain of the South Korean ferry?

    The ferry captain knew when to jump ship !


    • 26
      Do the Math says:



      • 32
        jgm2 says:

        The suspicion is there was a ‘performance’ clause in the contract. No European Football = P45.

        European football became mathematically impossible on Sunday. P45 today.

        He might not get quite as large a pay-off as you think.


        • 48
          Gordon the mong says:

          Its not unusual to fail.
          I took a 3 times premier league winning team and managed to come 7th.
          And that was out of 3.


  11. 24
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP


  12. 33
    EU says:

    Thank you Radio 5 Live. We can rely on you,the cheque is in the post.


    • 37
      jgm2 says:

      Fuck off. Nobody is scared of being called ‘racist’ any more. You’ve worn out the fucking word.

      And if not wanting the UK to be over-run by Africans and Asians whose contribution to date to the sum total of human happiness still amounts to ‘Fuck All’ is ‘racist’ then so be it.


      • 122
        Angry Bird. says:

        We cannot stop the Africans & Asians descending on us UNLESS we can stop the whole of the EU having that right.
        If we say Europeans are sort of OK, but Africans & Asians are not, we are fucked.


        • 125
          jgm2 says:

          Nothing at all to stop us barring Africans and Asians except the fear of being accused of being ‘racists’. The EU didn’t order us to accept 2 million people from Shit*is*tan and Africa.

          I enjoy a curry as much as the next man but all the currys in the world aren’t worth the bones of Lee Rigby so, you know, on balance, close the fucking door on these c*unts.


    • 40
      Pookie snackumberger says:

      If the posters showed a pair of slippers and a beehive the lib/lab/con/bbc/euSSR would still say they were racist.


    • 44
      jgm2 says:

      By the way, I’ve not seen any of these posters out and about but the ones that I’ve seen on TV and here look fantastic.

      The Tories will be shitting themselves. And if Farage can get a really good showing in May then it won’t be long before Labour will be shitting themselves too.


      • 87
        David Cameron that famous defender of Christians says:

        To say I have got nasty skidmarks in all my pants would be an understatement !


    • 49
      Postit Notes says:

      The only racists are the people who think the posters are racist, they have vile minds and need to get help.


    • 51
      Nick Clegg says:

      7% of the people who read the posters are racist. The Liberal democrats hate British people and don’t think they can be trusted to run their own country.


      • 59
        helpful suggestion says:

        Being honest isn’t the same thing as being racist.


        • 60
          hang on a min says:

          Labour managed to successfully stifle an important debate
          about immigration during it’s reign by accusing anyone even
          mentioning it of being a racist.

          Those days are now over.


          • David Cameron that famous defender of Christians says:

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            I’m a Christian, I’m a beliver.

            Do you belive me ?


          • Anonymous says:

            Not for Kay Burley.


    • 139
      C O (Ξ7q1) says:

      How exactly is that poster rac!st ?

      If it is and I am not offended, that doesn’t mean I am rac!st.

      Has anyone arrested J’ack S’traw for his motoring offence yet ?


    • 171
      After a good Racist Outburst I like a nice cup of Tea says:

      How the F**K is that Racist!? Labour can Kiss My Arse – they’re guilty of Cultural Genocide and they think they’ve gotten-away with it. Well they haven’t…..


  13. 34
    Human Rights Act says:

    Are we allowed to say it’s “Ryan Giggs” or is that Superinjunction still in effect?


  14. 35
    Mark Wouters says:

    Sovietsalami63 here,
    Are we going to see Hilary “Hanoi Hilary” Clinton in the whitehouse as president or will it be Chelsea, or even Obamas Wife ???


    • 94
      David Cameron that famous defender of Christians says:

      Is Hillary a Christian like me ?

      If not she should be, she could gain strength from her faith in times of crisis.

      [David, pls see attached reply, this is what you should, KR, Lynton]


  15. 38
    Kay" I've been stood up" Burley says:

    Dear Nigel_Farage where are you? I was expecting you at 2pm for an i/v on Sky UKIP confirmed and now you say it was raining too hard???


  16. 42
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The Political response to David Moyes departure.

    David Cameron: Tory
    I think its a bit harsh to punish a chap just because he didn’t come first. Its a very difficult competition with two or three very tough teams. Coming top isn’t essential. And Mr Moyes has had to contend with a resurgence on the right of Manorchester, at Manorchester City, eating into his core support as they adopt the short sighted populist policies of signing star players and winning matches. So bravo to David Moyes, a thoroughly good effort and one that should have let him keep his job for another go again next time.

    Ed Miliband: Labour
    I believe that it is very short sighted to sack a manager just because he is incapable of getting his team to perform at the level expected. I think that Manchester United should have looked to their history and seen that sometimes a new manager, especially one who had lacked top flight experience, should be given ten or even twenty years to fully bed in and demonstrate to the players that his totally new approach to winning matches by doing as little as possible and conserving energy was the right course.

    Alex Salmond: SNP
    Its typical English bigotry that says that a Scottish manager must be sacked in case the ‘No’ vote doesn’t go their way. I believe that an independent Scotland would have seen Mr Moyes returning instantly to his Glasgow homeland, and that’s why he was given the push. Its a disgrace

    Nick Clegg: Liberal Democrats
    Some say David Moyes won only 52% of his matches. I’d disagree with that figure and say it was more like 99%. There are a lot of scare stories going around and we must be careful not to fall for propaganda. But what is crystal clear is that if the UK left the EU, then all British clubs would be barred from the Europa league, the Champions league and the European cup tournament. its the EUROPEAN Cup! The clue is in the title! So stick with the EU.

    Nigel Farage: UKIP
    Well who could be surprised. A British manager is sacked and his replacement is going to be a Louis van Gaal or a Jürgen Klopp. A Dutchie or a Hun!
    A Goldmember or a Sauerkraut Pickelhaube. Another British job lost to a foreign worker thanks to this ridiculous open door immigration policy.

    Gordon Brown: Labour
    I wish Mr Moyes, a erm..a ..erm…mmmm..m..m a fellow Scot..a…erm.. every success in his new role as mur…manager of Manchester Wednesday and look forward to seeing him at the Emirates stadium performing successfully for many years.


  17. 43
    Nigel says:

    Obviously we’re getting a bit desperate as only about 4 R&Bs and a dog have turned up since our last bit of, er, “electioneering”.


    • 64
      well there's a surprise says:

      The UKIP stall in my local high street was doing a roaring trade
      last week.


      • 96
        Boot Fair says:

        Ah, but the poster at 43 is not interested in numbers, only interested in running UKIP down.


        • 103
          David Cameron that famous defender of Christians says:

          CCHQ and Lynton pay these posters a small fortune to sit there all day on the internet, smearing, smearing and smearing…

          But they have a new additional role now.

          They have been instructed to write supportive posts about me being a jolly good Christian chap, a beliver, one who gains strength from his faith and all that stuff.


      • 116
        Anonymous says:

        Trade or tirade?


  18. 56
    jgm2 says:

    Separately, is the overcoat with velvet collar now UKIP uniform? I don’t think I’ve ever seen two of them together outside a point-to-point meeting.


  19. 68
    BBC fashion watch says:

    Anyone noticed Jane Hill is wearing a jacket with a collar the size of the Arc du triomphe?

    Is this because she is self conscious about her head being too big for her body?
    (Live on BBC News 24 now lol)


    • 77
      Plug ugly says:

      Nige is on Sky with Kay right now. Holding his ground against the usual tv bollox.


    • 78
      Forest Gump says:

      I don’t watch the BBC. Nor do I give a shit about people who appear on that organisation’s output. That is all I have to say about that.


      • 83
        C.O.Jones says:

        Same here, it’s opinionated crap for the dim witted. You get more of a neutral perspective from RT or Aljazeera.


  20. 80
    Postit Notes says:

    How the hell that Sky woman ever got that job interviewing people, she’s attempting to say our Nige is racist because he wants to stop East Europeans coming in to the country and give our people jobs over these the East Europeans I really give up, the problems are the media as far as racism goes.


    • 95
      Slapper says:

      Someone at Sky thinks those duck lips are sexy.


    • 109
      jgm2 says:

      Who are we kidding. Nigel is talking about limiting Poles because he can say that without being accused of the most heinous invented ‘crime’ in history. The ‘crime’ of racism. Poles are the same as us ie white so he can’t be accused of racism. But as any fule kno it ain’t the Poles that are the fucking problem.

      We all know who he really wants to stop coming here. Or at least we all hope we know who he really wants to stop coming here.

      The extended family of the Religion of Peacers from Shit*i*st*an and the TB and HIV carriers from Africa and the Caribbean.

      At least the Poles do some fucking work when they get here. The rest of the fuckers just demand a council house in the capital city and then proceed to tell us either that we’re decadent infidels or take up dr*i*ve by shootings in lieu of getting a job.


      • 134
        english minority says:

        The crime of r.azzisim was invented and implemented by a certain re,gime called the U.S-sr in the 1930;s . The current President of the successor state made a certain reference recently to the eth.nic composition of the post revol.utionary government which was curiously ignored by the western M,s,m.


      • 136
        JH3243262323545645 says:

        Where are the Finnish ‘communities’? Or the Norwegian? Or the Nepalese? Or the Andorran? Or the Singaporean?

        Why do we seem so hellbent on importing people from the same few backward cultures, who have repaid our generosity with the creation of ghettos that even the most ardent lefties would struggle to retain a rictus grin – along with their iPhone – while walking through?

        Our diversity is not very diverse. I think it’s racist myself.


        • 164
          C O (Ξ7q1) says:

          I know of quite a few from Denmark who have returned to Denmark specifically because they could not deal with the other ethnics who were beginning to move into areas close to them.

          Keep an eye on the Scandi countries – trouble is going to flare there quite bright and quite soon.


      • 144
        Bob Fleming says:



  21. 81
    Crap magic says:

    Who is Moyes?


  22. 88
  23. 92
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Purple is the colour
    Sovereignty is the game
    We are the greatest
    UKIP is our name

    Sung to the old football chant :-)


    • 105
      Not really a chant, more of a song says:

      ‘Blue is the colour’ was penned by D Boone, S Houston and R McQueen and released on Penny Farthing Records on 26 February 1972, with performances by:

      Tommy Baldwin
      Peter Bonetti
      Charlie Cooke
      John Dempsey
      Ron Harris
      Marvin Hinton
      John Hollins
      Peter Houseman
      Alan Hudson
      Steve Kember
      Eddie McCreadie
      Paddy Mulligan
      Peter Osgood
      David Webb


      • 115
        The first team says:

        Its amazing how membership of the EU changes things.


        • 126
          Donovan says:

          Remember me? I recorded “Yellow is the colour of my true love’s hair in the morning…” (but I don’t think she was ever a libdum).

          I wonder whatever happened to me after that hit???


      • 152
        Europeene Country - wot? says:

        those were the days when you could pronounce and spell British footballers names.

        now they are all sunburned with allegiance to other places than United Kingdom (chokes)


  24. 99
    Vote UKIP!! says:


  25. 100
    David Moyes says:

    Has Maria Miller resigned yet?


    • 161
      David Cameron that famous defender of Christians says:

      I pray every day that I will never have to resign.

      My faith in my… self.. er I mean, my god, er.. I mean my faith in the God, you know the Christian God, gives me, er all Christains strength that I will not be forced to resign.

      The fear of God is a great leveller, the fear of losing power is even worse… er.. were it not for my unstingting fatih in Christ.. er the god, I mean God.

      Yah, bumberclaat Notting Hill..



    • 162
      Cameroon that famous defender of Christi@ns says:

      I pray every day that I will never have to resign.

      My faith in my… self.. er I mean, my g0d, er.. I mean my faith in the G0d, you know the Christi@n G0d, gives me, er all Christi@ns strength that I will not be forced to resign.

      The fear of G0d is a great leveller, the fear of losing power is even worse… er.. were it not for my unstingting faith in Chr1st.. er the g0d, I mean G0d.

      Ok Yaah my bumberclaat breathern of trusterfarian descent, Notting Hill rules..



      • 172
        United Kingdom PM says:

        ……..To restore my sanity,i am off to Boris,s cellar to do some serious “Gangnam” style dancing!……Then, …a prayer!…..(good man)…….might have a little spliff!


  26. 104
    Peaches says:

    Yipee, Sarah Fergusson came to MY funeral.

    Well to put it another way I went to a S F photo op.


  27. 108
    Labour HQ says:

    If in doubt scream raaaaciiist at the top of your voice, the BBC will be the megaphone you need. Any party that dares to stand up for the rights and interests of the British people must be shouted down and accused of raaaaaciiiiism.

    Well its always worked in the past hasnt it?


    • 163
      Lynton Crosby (personal account) says:

      And it will contine to work in the future.


      • 173
        Village Idiot says:

        …..Calling someone racist is just childish ,playground name calling and bounces off like water off a ducks back!
        ….An entire industry was built up around it,and now because of overuse and use in the wrong context has really made it meaningless!
        ……To accuse someone of it shows an inability to argue or debate the points intelligently,without that other pathetic weapon of the interrorgators,constant interruption and talking over someone,also,breaking in before the respondant has chance to finish their answer!..Soon,it will be at fever pitch,as the academics and movers and shakers in the news,are seeing their gravy trains slipping away!


  28. 110
    HRH Elizabeth II says:

    Who’s eating all my Swans?


    • 117
      Nigel says:



      • 174
        Village Idiot says:

        ….They have taken a lot of fish out of the rivers and fisheries as well,….mmm….swan and trout meniure,with a bit of extra streaky bacon,a cup of tea,toast with butter and marmalade!


    • 128
      Twitcher says:

      Oh dear, did nobody inform “One” that they all belong to the EU now?


      • 165
        Romanians says:

        What do we want – BENEFITS

        When do we want them – BACK DATED 3 MONTHS

        What do we want – A HOUSE IN NORTH LONDON ZONE 3 WITH A GARDEN


        What do we want – BENEFITS

        Why do we want them – WHY NOT


  29. 114
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    UKIP gets my vote.


  30. 118
    Prime Minister Comrade David Cameron says:

    Today, in 1870, Lenin was born. Still remember how in Soviet schools we had to walk to dedushka Lenin monument to lay flowers.


  31. 119
    Anonymous says:

    It seems the media class has some peculiar fetish about uttering the word raaaaacism!


  32. 121
    Grant"The Cheeky Chappie" Shapps says:

    Farage did himself no favours getting wound up & tripping over his own words, looked a fool I was in stitches at him.

    Great stand up comedy !


    • 167
      Dave Cameroon that great defender of Christians says:

      Is that Schaaps chappy a Christi@n as well ?

      I don’t recognise him from Eton, was he at Oxford or did I know his father ?

      I hope he gains great strength from his faith in his g0d, you know, errr… the Christian g0d they call Jesus, yaah ?


  33. 124
    catesby says:

    It seems that the media classes have a peculiar fetish about the word raaaaacist!


  34. 127
    • 169
      Dave Cameroon that great defender of Christians says:

      I hope the poor lady gains great strength from her faith in Christi@n god.

      [pssst – She’s a budist Dave….]

      Good G0d, how do I delete this…


  35. 130
    Guy News Room says:

    You can complain about UKIP billboards to the Electoral Commission on 020 7271 0604.

    Good Afternoon.


    • 138
      The Public says:

      Where can be complain about the Electoral Commission running a corrupted and unfair electoral system?


    • 142
      C.O.Jones says:

      Thanks for that number. Have just called them and complimented UKIP on the truthfulness of their campaign. Mentioned that it was the first time in a couple of decades that the public have not been fed the lies that the other parties feed us.

      Give them a call people.


  36. 131
    Coming over here, taking our men says:

    Farage’s wife Frau Kirsten Mehr is German. He’s ruled by Europe day and night!


  37. 133
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    If Nigel is in the pub, why do Sky not just interview him there ?

    Would make for much better TV, and is in line with an image which most prefer to see.


  38. 143
    Mr Blobby says:

    Did anyone know that Go Wank is an anagram of Gok Wan?


  39. 150
    Postit Notes says:

    You get the impression from the metro trash, that we have had no immigration from anywhere until we went into the EEC kicking and screaming, they forget yet again the Commonwealth, it’s never mentioned any-more, so is that a nasty word like racist.


    • 175
      Village Idiot says:

      ….It is not immigration per se, ..it is the amount,the timescale and the quality that is the problem and while we live under the yoke of the EU ,we have little control over who enters the UK!


  40. 151
    Anonymous says:

    She’s a bit slow really.


  41. 154
    Rev. Dave says:

    With regard to Mr Farage, God loves a trier.


    • 159
      Re-run the battle of Acre: Start by crucifying Cameron says:

      Come on Dave, you know S’atan love’s bumming…


  42. 156
    A Coulson says:

    I heard nothing…


Seen Elsewhere

Greens are UKIP for Young People | Telegraph
Short-Termism of CCHQ | ConHome
May Aide: CCHQ Are Being Misleading | Telegraph
Tories Planning For Second Election | Guardian
We Are Losing Cyber War | Fraser Nelson
Osborne Aide Lands Pay Rise | Mirror
The Sick Of It | Sun
UKIP MEP’s Welfare Hypocrisy | Channel 4
Rise of Angela Merkel | New Yorker
May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

The Economist asks Tony Blair about Wendi Deng:

“Mr Blair roundly denies any impropriety. Asked whether he was (at least) careless about his reputation, he says calmly that it is “not something I will ever talk about—I haven’t and I won’t”, and then bangs his coffee cup so loudly into its saucer that it spills and everyone in the room jumps. But did he find himself in a tangle over his friendship with Ms Deng? A large, dark pool of sweat has suddenly appeared under his armpit, spreading across an expensive blue shirt. Even Mr Blair’s close friends acknowledge that the saga damaged him—not least financially, since Mr Murdoch stopped contributing to Mr Blair’s faith foundation and cut him off from other friendly donors in America.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,641 other followers