April 22nd, 2014

Clutching Straw Denies Banana Drama

Jack Straw motoring down the M6 in his Jag while eating a banana. People have been prosecuted for the same, though Straw insists to the Sun that:

“Traffic was incredibly slow. We were either going slowly or we had stopped completely. My clear recollection is I reached for the banana and opened it when we weren’t moving at all.”

That’s not what the snapper says. He claims Straw’s Jag passed him at around 75 mph. On closer inspection, he doesn’t exactly look like he’s stationary…


112 Comments

  1. 1
    Fucking dis custard says:

    I’d like to shove that banana up his bum

  2. 2
    A Man From Slough says:

    If they were moving at 75mph, why is the background not blurred?

  3. 3
    Rickytshirt says:

    Last time a Labour politician was photographed eating a banana he left these shores. This bodes well.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Pretty lucky that snapper had a camera ready for cars passing him at speed eh?

  5. 5
    jack shitte says:

    i’m an arsehole

  6. 6
    C.O.Jones says:

    Was that the Blade Runner?

  7. 7
    chris huhne says:

    i was not in charge of that banana

  8. 8
    chris huhne says:

    they were both pissed?

  9. 9
    All socialists are hypocrites says:

    Laws are for the “Little People” not the likes of us

  10. 10
    Judeg Dreadful says:

    There is a clear case to answer.

    People have been prosecuted for texting, eating and drinking while stationary at traffic lights.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    All very well,the person who took the photo must also be breaking the law????

  12. 12
    Owen Jones says:

    Because I am gay everyone is gay and anyone who questions homosexuality is in fact really, really gay.

  13. 13
    I was Hitlers missing bollock says:

    ‘ava banana… http://youtu.be/XLA-4nP4cyQ

  14. 14
  15. 15
    Obvious says:

    Unless they were sitting in the back seat…

  16. 16
    I was Hitlers missing bollock says:

    Could the answer be a fast shutter speed perhaps?

  17. 17
    Rob says:

    Either someone managed to take the world’s first blur-free image with their phone whilst driving at 75mph (and without an eye on the road!) or, just maybe, the claims are a tad embellished.

  18. 18
  19. 19
    Motorway Cops says:

    We shall be charging the “snapper”under s 2 of the Road Traffic Act 1988 and under s 43 Terrorism Act 2000

  20. 20
    Oh, really? says:

    How fortunate there’s a different set of laws for wealthy socialists.

  21. 21
    John Tandy says:

    On his way to the PM’s Constituency where he now lives no doubt. Possibly to a cocktail Party held by the PM to which he had been invited but was a little late !

    John Tandy

  22. 22
    Jezza says:

    I’m a socialist and I drive a Jaaaaaaaaaaag!

  23. 23
    Spacker Brown says:

    “My jackboot got stuck under the accelerator during a mistimed heel-click.”

  24. 24

    And yes, the car travelling the other way is motion blurred but neither the banana nor the background is blurred at all, so I think the photographer is full of it…

  25. 25
    total ballony expert says:

    You can tell by the angle of the windscreen wipers that the vehicle is travelling at speed

  26. 26
    Beep Beep says:

    he is’nt eating a banana.
    he’s doing an impersonation of Gillian Talyrforth.

  27. 27
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Much as I dislike Straw, there is no way that that car is travelling at 75mph if, indeed, it is travelling at all.

    Get your passenger to take a photo with their phone at that speed, when level with traffic in overtaking lane and opposite carriageway. Then compare.

    Next?

  28. 28
    B. Zyklon says:

    Britain is not an Islamic country.

  29. 29
    Reader says:

    Nonsense. I have taken loads of photos at high speed which are not blurred. I recommend you buy yourself a decent modern camera.

  30. 30
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Excellent article by A1ex in Briebart.

    Post May 22nd, UKIP Will Demand to Be a Larger Part of the National Debate, and Steal the Left’s Key Lines

    http://tinyurl.com/n2r2fhc

  31. 31
    David Millibanana says:

    I did not have a relationship with that banana

  32. 32
    Pedestrian says:

    Even if he is doing three miles an hour or is even stationary, he is not in proper control of the vehicle and appears to be committing an offence.

  33. 33
    Pap Happy says:

    +1

  34. 34
    highway code expert says:

    driving slowly while in not full in control of vehicle is in fact more hazardous

  35. 35
    Phone at the wheel says:

    A colleague of mine was stopped at the lights when his mobile phone, on the passenger seat, received a text. He picked it up to see who it was from and a bloke got out from the car alongside him and said “You’re nicked”. It was an unmarked police car.

  36. 36
    A Man From Slough says:

    I doubt it at 75 mph. There would be some lateral motion blur.

  37. 37
    For Fucks Sake says:

    And what is wrong with eating a snack at the wheel?

    Don’t tell me it distracts or causes accidents because that is a load of shite.

  38. 38
    Mornington Crescent says:

    ‘More hazardous’ than what? Finish your sentence, FFS.

  39. 39
    Mitch says:

    When he peeled the banana he would have had to use both hands and have almost no control of the car.

  40. 40
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Utter PC bollox!

    I have changed clothes whilst driving, including from trousers into shorts. I drink from bottles. And eat stuff on longer journeys. It is better for a driver to feel comfortable and eating, drinking and listening to music should not be discouraged.

    None of these things do I do when there is traffic around.

    If you are a pedestrian, what are you doing on a motorway/clearway anyway?

    My driving record amounts to having driven just under 1.5m miles, including on every continent of the world. I never tell myself or others that I am a good driver as one never knows what is around the corner.

    But some people will have accidents at 3mph because they do not concentrate or they fail to put their driving first. So stuff your PC talk which does not prevent accidents but just creates a nanny state!

  41. 41
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Utter PC bollox!

    I have changed clothes whilst dryving, including from trousers into shorts. I drink from bottles. And eat stuff on longer journeys. It is better for a driver to feel comfortable and eating, drinking and listening to music should not be discouraged.

    None of these things do I do when there is traffic around.

    If you are a pedestrian, what are you doing on a motorway/clearway anyway?

    My dryving record amounts to having driven just under 1.5m miles, including on every continent of the world. I never tell myself or others that I am a good dryver as one never knows what is around the corner.

    But some people will have accidents at 3mph because they do not concentrate or they fail to put their dryving first. So stuff your PC talk which does not prevent accidents but just creates a nanny state!

  42. 42
    Jack Straw says:

    Bollocks!

    If I was moving at speed, how come the trees in the background are not blurred?

  43. 43
    Taxfodder says:

    Give me strength….

    You can tell there is an Election in the air as nobody is safe from idiot reporters…

    soon I expect the consistency of a tiny dribble on an MP’s nose will be discussed and examined and pronounced to be a deciding factor in the suitability of that person and proof beyond of all doubt how you should vote.

    Jack Straw in of course an idiot all Mp’s are…and so is the reporter for thinking they have a scoop.

  44. 44
    Fuss over nothing. says:

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a munch and driving. Those who claim it causes accidents are telling pack of bullshit.

  45. 45
    Jack Straw says:

    A colleague of mine (let’s call him Andy B) allowed dozens of elderly patients to die of thirst in an NHS hospital, but he got away with it. The law is strange, isn’t it?

  46. 46
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Utter PC bollox!

    I have changed clothes whilst dryving, including from trousers into shorts. I drink from bottles. And eat stuff on longer journeys. It is better for a driver to feel comfortable and eating, drinking and listening to music should not be discouraged.

    None of these things do I do when there is traffic around.

    If you are a pedestrian, what are you doing on a motorway/clearway anyway?

    My dryving record amounts to having dryven just under 1.5m miles, including on every continent of the world. I never tell myself or others that I am a good dryver as one never knows what is around the corner.

    But some people will have accidents at 3mph because they do not concentrate or they fail to put their dryving first. So stuff your PC talk which does not prevent accidents but just creates a nanny state!

  47. 47
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Utter PC bollocks!

    I have changed clothes whilst dr!ving, including from trousers into shorts. I drink from bottles. And eat stuff on longer journeys. It is better for a dr!ver to feel comfortable and eating, drinking and listening to music should not be discouraged.

    None of these things do I do when there is traffic around.

    If you are a pedestrian, what are you doing on a motorway/clearway anyway?

    My dr!ving record amounts to having driven just under 1.5m miles, including on every continent of the world. I never tell myself or others that I am a good dr!ver as one never knows what is around the corner.

    But some people will have accidents at 3mph because they do not concentrate or they fail to put their dr!ving first. So stuff your PC talk which does not prevent accidents but just creates a nanny state!

  48. 48
    Liebour's Thirteen Year Reich says:

    The photographer is clearly a terrorist. You are either with us or against us. Why do you hate freedom? Etc.

  49. 49
    Jack Straw says:

    Would you like to hear my extraordinary rendition of “Yes, we have no bananas”?

  50. 50
    Jack Straw says:

    English bananas, as a fruit, are not worth saving.

  51. 51
    Mitch says:

    There is also the small matter of the legal requirement to drive with due care and attention. Unfortunately, the law isn’t a menu from which you pick and choose which you follow.

  52. 52
    Priorities says:

    He helped deliver “shock and awe” to slay and injure thousands of children and he’s now facing questions about eating a banana in a traffic jam.

  53. 53
    Mitch says:

    There is also the small matter of the legal requirement to dr1ve with due care and attention. Unfortunately, the law isn’t a menu from which you pick and choose which you follow.

  54. 54
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Utter PC bollocks!

    I have changed clothes whilst dr!ving, including from trousers into shorts. I dr!nk from bottles. And eat stuff on longer journeys. It is better for a dr!ver to feel comfortable and eating, dr!nking and listening to music should not be discouraged.

    None of these things do I do when there is traffic around.

    If you are a pedestrian, what are you doing on a motorway/clearway anyway?

    My dr!ving record amounts to having dr!ven just under 1.5m miles, including on every continent of the world. I never tell myself or others that I am a good dr!ver as one never knows what is around the corner.

    But some people will have accidents at 3mph because they do not concentrate or they fail to put their dr!ving first. So stuff your PC talk which does not prevent accidents but just creates a nanny state!

  55. 55
    JH3243262323545645 says:

    Either way, I bet mere mortals have been stomped on by plod for eating while stationary. We should all start illegal wars on sovereign countries, maybe then we can be ‘in the club’.

    I have a some relatives I would also like on the gravy train please, along with the usual EU sinecure once they have fucked up beyond comprehension here.

  56. 56
    Lord Stansted says:

    It depends on the shutter speed – idiot.

  57. 57
    Jonah Brown says:

    I see that the “Better Together” campaign has the curse of Jonah Brown on it,

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/scottish-independence/10778530/Gordon-Brown-independent-Scotland-would-face-pensions-time-bomb.html

    Anyone want to put a bet on a “Yes” vote, now.

  58. 58
    Banana Drama says:

    Robert De Niro’s Waiting

  59. 59
    Sue Denim says:

    If the car was stationary he probably wouldn’t have had his other hand on the steering wheel. Mine would normally be hovering around the handbrake or gear lever.

    It was on the steering wheel because he was using it to “control” the vehicle.

  60. 60
    The PC Brigade says:

    You sir are being fruitist!

  61. 61
    Lord Stansted says:

    Rob could learn some elementary science. Probably beyond him, though..

  62. 62
    Mitch says:

    “Yes” or “No” the SNP is totally knackered. That’s the really funny bit.

  63. 63
    Lard Rennard says:

    Would you mind putting your free hand around my penis?

  64. 64
    Snapped and in the wrong, two wrong don't make a right says:

    Oh! we are upset ct getting caught, Jack, you using the tactic of using the law to shut the snapper up shame you didn’t use British law to stop the Americans taking those nice people on a water boarding holiday

  65. 65
    Fast breeding reactor says:

    Not yet, but it will be soon!

  66. 66
    NuLabourNemesis says:

    This is pathetic and wholly unlibertarian. (Unless, of course, he happened to be blacked up).

    Is Nanny-Guido going to publish a list of comestibles approved for consumption on the move?

  67. 67
    Chris Cringle says:

    Plod used to protect the public from the criminal – New Labour politicised them now they protect the Establishment from the public. Jack Straw is Establishment ….. ergo ….. nothing to see here …. Just hand over that phone …. Where’s me pension?

  68. 68
    what a gay dave says:

    We are a secular country

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Sun Exclusive!

    Shaved chimp learns to drive.

  70. 70
    Snapped and in the wrong, two wrongs don't make a right says:

    It’s not about driving, it’s about about getting back at a piece of hypocritical sh1t , a politician who hates the English but like all socialists enjoys the free money and tv’s the English give him.

  71. 71
    Fuss over nothing. says:

    And the law does not state that munching a banana is driving without due care and attention. Only the most ridiculous jobsworth would say that it is.

  72. 72
    NE Frontiersman says:

    If that’s Straw, when did he get the toupe?

  73. 73
    @hateliebour says:

    Can’t wait to see Brown wrong yet again, the Yes/No vote is supposed to be around 3% so it could go either way, nothing like telling a Scotsman he’s wrong if he votes no, it’s his mind he will make it up not an idiot who cost the countries billions and saved the world.

  74. 74
    jgm2 says:

    We do though. Pick and choose.

  75. 75
    Dorkass says:

    Of course there was motion blur. But the camera always lies. So you don’t see any. Happy now?

  76. 76
    Spartacus says:

    the silent invasion

  77. 77
    Ockham's Razor says:

    I am all for that. Just chose better ground. The evidence here is simply not convincing.

    As a keen photographer with some 40,000 to my credit, I could bore you with why I am 99.99% sure that the car depicted is at rest but I will spare you the analysis.

    Part of the best evidence against Straw has actually been offered by himself in recent times, when he admitted that they may have got things wrong over immigration.

    That is as good as you are likely to ever get from these hypocritical types.

  78. 78
    Mitch says:

    “It is not a criminal offence in itself to drink, smoke or eat whilst dr1ving a vehicle however there is a potential punishment of failing to drive with due care and attention. It is therefore a matter of how the individual activity affects your ability to dr1ve reasonably and safely on the roads.

    A common example is when a person lights a cigarette. It can be very difficult to dr1ve with due care and attention since part of that person’s attention will be concerned with using a lighter.

    The Highway Code states that motorists must “avoid distractions when dr1ving such as loud music, trying to read maps, inserting a cassette or CD or tuning a radio, eating and dr1nking and smoking”.”

  79. 79
    There's is one person driving without due care and attention and it ain't Straw. says:

    So man eating a banana in full control of his car is photographed by a driver who is not only working a camera but looking away from the road as he composes his picture.

  80. 80
    Cobblers says:

    So this mystery person sitting in the back seat just happened to have the power to foretell that an MP was about to pass at 75 miles per hour, a very steady hand and a camera conveniently ready? Or perhaps they had eyes in the back of their head and bionic vision capable of identifying fast-moving MPs from a distance?

  81. 81
    Surrey Shiresman says:

    It’s great news, this could be the break we need to get rid of the McSpongers for good.

  82. 82
    Johnny says says:

    Was this in a contraflow system? The car going in the opposite direction is this side of the central reservation.

  83. 83
    Old Geezer says:

    When Straw was Home Secretary, was he not caught doing a ton on the motorway, and then tried to blame his chauffeur for it.

  84. 84
    Sally Bercowitz says:

    Why not? I can always get a good grip with my thighs.

  85. 85
    Oh, really? says:

    Or that means that both cars were doing 75mph, the other car was doing a different speed and going in the other direction, so was subject to blurring.

  86. 86
    DynoRod Dave, Shitshifter to the Clergy says:

    If he is stationary, why does he have his left hand on the steering wheel at the two-o’clock position. Straw is a liar.

  87. 87

    What I eat in a car is a private matter between me and my…. friend. That’s right, isn’t it Hugh?

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    A cunning plan,mobile phone disguised as a banana.

  89. 89
    Modern Technology says:

    That would be my fault.

  90. 90
    Trust Straw not to do the right thing says:

    There is no justice.
    Why wasn’t he suffering from one of his sympathy-for-me depressions? Why didn’t he crash into the barrier? Not many other people around so he wouldn’t have hurt anyone, and there’s be fewer people around to try and rescue him.
    Jeez, where’s God when you need him?

  91. 91
    I feel so bad, so very bad, I do says:

    But I have depression.
    Feel sorry for me.

  92. 92
    Bad memory eh Jack? Forgotten it all what with those terrible depressions, Suffer til ur death mate says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8393710/Jack-Straw-forgot-how-to-drive-after-13-years-of-chauffeurs.html

  93. 93
    Nothing Better To Do says:

    You should realise that bananas are dangerous things. Much worse than, say, a lighted cigarette that if dropped could set fire to your private area. Or adjusting the radio that takes your eyes off the road. Clearly anyone found guilty of raising anything to their mouth whilst driving is living on the edge.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    You can shove it up my bum anytime

  95. 95
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Well, it was only a small banana and it’s not as if he’s piloting a Langley Gulfstream. He probably wouldn’t recognise one if he saw one, which he says he didn’t. Time will tell…

  96. 96
    Blackburnana says:

    You know where to find me.

  97. 97
    Andrew Pandy says:

    No thanks, but do you have an explanation as to why, at that time of the day, that banana was not wearing his pyjamas?

  98. 98
    grasmit says:

    desperate bananas clutching at straws

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    I didn’t blame the snapper did I? Just a comment on the physical possibility of it, which is about zero.
    But a numbnuts clutz wants a blather about water boarding and British and American law, hey why not? Don’t want to waste those hours with law books in the prison library do we?

  100. 100
    Mark Worthless says:

    Us politicians can’t be seen to be telling the truth about anything or admit we ever did anything wrong.

  101. 101
    I hope the FA don't see him says:

    It’s worse, he’s actually doing an impression of eating a banana.

  102. 102
    Paranoid Android says:

    Nanny Guido indeed.
    Surprised, and quite unimpressed.
    Guido chips away at a perfectly safe liberty – cheers, Guido.
    Ah… WikiGuido ‘story’ – no wonder it’s bollocks.

  103. 103
    Conrad says:

    People have been charged by the police with not being in full control of a vehicle for doing exactly the same thing whilst stationary at traffic lights never mind on the motorway at speed.

  104. 104
    Cinna says:

    It makes no difference wether he was moving or not. It s still an offence to not be in control of your vehicle. There have been a couple of well publicised cases over the years. Plod has been only to happy to prosecute a young woman for taking a swig from a battle of ware whilst stationary at traffic lights.

    One law for us and another law for them.

  105. 105
    PC Dixon says:

    Of course !

  106. 106
    PC Dixon says:

    Heaven forbid he would be caught picking his nose or scratching his arse. Then what ?

  107. 107
    The Bog Standard Labour Party. says:

    Nepotism is the enemy of equality.

    Plus, Will Straw is no more working class than I am a j3w. Why does Labour have to use middle class over indulged schoolboys to represent the working classes?

    Has Straw ever worked an 8 hour shift, wiping ungrateful OAPs backsides for £4.50 an hour with a 1/2 an hour lunch break? No!

    When did the Oxford groomed Walter Softies of this world become the true spokepersons for working class politics? It is Bullshit!

    Time for Labour to get real!

  108. 108
    The Britannia Coco-nut Dancers says:

    LOL

    thanks!

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Wasn’t his wife driving at the time?

  110. 110
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    It was a slow news day. Guido needs to get a life …

  111. 111
    The Critic says:

    Well, If he was prepared to misstate the case about chemical weapons in Iraq(IMHO), what price an untruth about his personal banana consumption?

  112. 112
    Jolly nice chap says:

    Nobody has mentioned the poor banana. Even bananas have feelings. How do you think the banana felt, getting oral from Jack Straw? We need a law against banana abuse. We need a fund to provide abused bananas with counselling and victim support.

    P.s. Every time I see that shit Blair on the TV I want to smash his fucking face in.

    More Claret, nurse.


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