April 18th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Lines to Take Edition)


183 Comments

  1. 1
    Jessicacacaca Reed, Guardian middle-class "liberal", pre-packaged dopey pc opinions on twitter says:

    FFS stop talking about white males. You need to embrace diversity or with Leveson we’ll force you to do it.

    Head – Desk.

    SEXIST!

  2. 2
    Labour.org.uk says:

    Tom Alexwin and David Baldrod meet for the first time.

  3. 3
    ss says:

    Oh please keep the moustache, that is the closest I can get to getting a real twat when you blow me.

  4. 4
    Labour.org.uk says:

    Things can only get bitter.

  5. 5
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Axelrod ” I think we may have a problem with Maria Miller’s comments from leftfield”

  6. 6
    Ethel of Purley says:

    Sorry Tom, I thought you meant a few lines on the lottery!

  7. 7
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    ‘Hey David, how come the Grauniad managed to spell your name correctly?”

  8. 8
    socialistscum says:

    I failed at everything but Cameron has asked to work for Milliband so I will succeed in this time I will get the desired result.

  9. 9
    I Squiggle says:

    OK, but next time I don’t want to be paid by a Co-Op cheque, right?

  10. 10
    Mr Mike says:

    no, we cannot invent “milliband Care”
    what else have u got

  11. 11
    William says:

    TWO PISSED AS A NEWT !

  12. 12
    Hobo humping Slobo babe says:

    What do you mean fuck off beaker, I’m Dr Bunsen

  13. 13
    Maimed Cadger says:

    Failure is a smell, like no other.

  14. 14
    Labour is the nasty party. says:

    I thought that Miliband and Balls were the two muppets.

  15. 15
    I Squiggle says:

    Psst.. fancy a really tough gig?

  16. 16
    Richard Timney says:

    The best porn stache from my porn stash.

  17. 17
    Owen Jones says:

    David to Tom “Hey Tom ….The Tories have just announced that there will be a cull of Jelly Fish”

  18. 18
    Red Laxo says:

    Lab Wind is not to be sniffed at.

  19. 19
    Tom Baldwin says:

    Ok who gave my notepad a Dirty Sanchez?

  20. 20
    Jessicacacaca Reed, Guardian middle-class "liberal", pre-packaged dopey pc opinions on twitter says:

    At least the labour party is trying to undermine the patriarchy by barring men from running in many seats. We need a law to force 50% of MPs to be women but the racist Tories who would never elect a woman as an MP won’t allow it because they are racist-sexist. #progress#feminismrocks

  21. 21
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    We offer you our services on a ‘no win big fee basis’.

  22. 22

    “It’s all about dividing lines Tom, do you get that..”, ” Indeed I do David, I can provide a few lines to divide….”

  23. 23
    Peter Grimes says:

    Amazing how you can make quite a good imitation notepad spiral from marching powder and some starch. It works too, and no one knows!

  24. 24
    Axelrod Rose says:

    Man, that Angela Eagle is quite something!

  25. 25
    Confused Labour Voter says:

    Labour need to change their leader to the white Chuka Umunna.

  26. 26
    baldie-waldie says:

    ‘I can smell loose change and week old matza.’

  27. 27
    Ron Jeremy says:

    You should have seen the money shot.

  28. 28
    Envy is one of the seven deadly sins says:

    Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your life, or do you want to come with me and change the world?

  29. 29
    Gromit Thrushbuster says:

    Luckily, Ed’s able to mould

  30. 30
    hic hic says:

    After you with the breathalyser mate.

  31. 31
    Socialism is theft says:

    AxelFordy: Gordon Brown said everything bad with the UK economy started with America – so I am going to prove it.

  32. 32
    Axelrod says:

    Hey! Did you just fart?

  33. 33

    Remind me again. Which party provided the first and only female PM in the UK’s History? Take your time, it’s quite a difficult question…. And while Labour is in hock to the most misogynistic cabel in the UK, a female PM from Labour is unlikely.

  34. 34
    Rinka the Dog says:

    Yes, I know it’s painful, but you’re going to have to get used to it if you work with the Westminster Village People.

  35. 35
    Braveheart says:

    The remake of The Thing With Two Heads is even worse than the original.

  36. 36
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Smell the notebook tour.

  37. 37
    Clouseau says:

    Do you ‘ave a rhume, or ‘ave you been at le poudre marchand?

  38. 38
    Tom Baldwin says:

    It doesn’t look much like a manifesto to me Dave,let’s sniff it.

  39. 39

    It would take a complete tosser to lose in 2015, so we thought of you.

  40. 40
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Scratch and Sniff

  41. 41
    H G Wells says:

    “Few men even considered the possibility of Ed becoming PM. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded the voters with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us…”

  42. 42
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Both those noses will be a lot longer by the end of the campaign.

  43. 43
    Ockham's Razor says:

    David Axelrod’s moustache used to be quite dark.

    Then he went to work for Labour.

  44. 44
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    The Time Machine, nobody can do anything about anything until at least 2020.

  45. 45
    Oenologist says:

    It’s a Labour manifesto, 1983 vintage I think. I’m getting blackberries, a hint of spice but with a strong whim of abject defeat and humiliation.

  46. 46
    The Growler says:

    Why not “The Odd Couple”

  47. 47
    Ockham's Razor says:

    DA: If you wanna get a bigger campaign chest, watch how Bill Quango does his expenses.

  48. 48
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Have a quick gargle and then spit it out.

  49. 49
    Cynic2 says:

    We have a lot in common…. we both work for muppets

  50. 50
    The odd couple says:

    Which one is the ‘giver’ and which is the ‘taker’?

  51. 51
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Labour’s only chances of winning rest on a rat peering over a scrubbing brush.

  52. 52
    N Gineer says:

    Axelrod? Piston broke too?

  53. 53
    Alex says:

    You’re wasting your time Tom – there’s no gak secreted in that pad.

  54. 54
    whats your line says:

    Stop undermining the Muppets. Great Show.

    Miliband and Balls are unworthy to be compared with the Muppets

  55. 55
    whats your line says:

    Kirsty Ward and Laura Kuenssberg of Newsnight snort the bumf I throw them yesterday

  56. 56
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    Dave:
    We have to promote a tired old socialist party stuck in the 70s.

    Tom:
    I’ll take the Apple MkI notepad you bring the vintage porn star moustache.

  57. 57
    whats your line says:

    I don’t work for you or Miliband. I work for Len.

  58. 58
    Keep 'em well-fucked and poorly-shod says:

    FFS get back to the stove woman – do some chips to go wiv me beer! Good telly this afternoon.

  59. 59
    One twat to another says:

    Just love that kiss curl darhhling!

    Now, – shall you be the slut or me??

  60. 60
    Ockham's (Old) Razor says:

    Don’t get in a strop

  61. 61
    Dirk Diggler says:

    This pad is made from Cocaine .

  62. 62
    The Ax says:

    “You know I’m from Chicago, right? We don’t take kindly to people sneaking up behind us– they usually have a knife, not a notepad (and I oughta know, being a backstabber myself). Gotta watch out for the guy who then whips out a gun, though– that, as Sean Connery says, is ‘the Chicago Way’…”

  63. 63
    Aleister Campbell-Crowley says:

    The worst vice is advice

  64. 64
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Big-end making a lot of noise, over-clocked, body work shoddy, tappits need replacing, engine block cracked, leaking oil, no brakes.

  65. 65
    Welshracer says:

    I can smell the bullshit on this notepad

  66. 66
    EUSSR flatliningbut piggies still go to market says:

    Scottish master race in action

  67. 67
    Rastus Q. McHunter says:

    BOTH: “I hear you’re into drugs as well!”

  68. 68
    Flashman says:

    You are aware the first female MP was a conservative, the first female party leader was a conservative and the first female PM was a conservative don’t you?

  69. 69
    keith says:

    the eyes have it, the eyes have it, order

  70. 70
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Displaying that kind of i-notepad in public is not considered cool anymore.

  71. 71
    A BBC history of britain says:

    Thatcher was elected by big oil in 1979. She hated poor people so much she forcibly sold their homes and made them homeless. She declared war on the peace loving nations of Argentina, Russia and France.
    She closed all the coal mines so her friends in big oil could profit from rising energy prices.
    She closed all industry in the U.K. so only banks could exist and everyone had to work in a bank or clean a bank and the banks never paid them money, only kicked them in the face

  72. 72
    Hilda Photocopier says:

    It is plain from today’s postings that Mr Fawkes has fallen madly in love with Mr Axle Rod.

    Sad, really, but predictable, what with gay marriage now becoming the norm.

  73. 73
    Ian Duncan Smith says:

    I have never heard of Universal Credit.

  74. 74
    Angela Eagle says:

    Coming from the USA I guess me and my sister are the first pair of tits you’ve seen that aren’t made of plastic.

  75. 75
    David Lodarex says:

    Don’t worry, there’s a new post to draw attention away from us.

    
    

    Oh !

  76. 76
    Caddyshack says:

    We’ll improve his handicap and he’ll lose less Balls

  77. 77
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    It begs the question why Cameron has allowed Smith to stay in a job in which he’s performing so disastrously, it also suggests the answer: That the next stage in the Tory revolution/devolution is to eventually get rid of benefits entirely. If that sounds crazy, then it’s entirely feasible, given the Tories’ track record. I’m sure they would “free us up” and “allow us” to provide for our own periods of unemployment, sickness, etc, ourselves. They’re smashing up the benefits system the same way they’re doing to the NHS

  78. 78
    Here We Go Again says:

    “New Treasury minister faces questions over tax arrangements
    Andrea Leadsom has held properties in a company rather than in her own name and made use of offshore banking services”

  79. 79
    me me me me me says:

    Fuck off you useless, needy piece of shit.

  80. 80
    David Axelrod says:

    First:
    lose the weird guy who blinks too much and sweats like a pedo in a playground.
    Second:
    lose the weird woman with dead eyes who sticks up for pedo’s in the playground.
    Third:
    lose the ugly woman who stares too much and points her finger like a kid in the playground.

  81. 81
    Here We Go Again says:

    …”Leadsom, who was elected MP for South Northamptonshire in 2010, stepped down as a director of the family company in February this year to be replaced by her 18-year-old son. This was shortly before she was made economic secretary to the Treasury with responsibility for the multibillion-pound help-to-buy scheme, in a reshuffle prompted by the resignation of Maria Miller as culture secretary”….

    They’re all in it together. They will protest that she has done nothing illegal, that isn’t the point, the issue is one of moral repugnance

  82. 82
    Spartacus says:

    Goebbels!

    Ja Herr Fhurer?

  83. 83
    A Reader says:

    This week’s Private Eye claims that Grayling and Osborne operated the same scam that led to Miller’s downfall.
    Why aren’t they being investigated?

  84. 84
    Call me Dave says:

    Calling International Rescue

  85. 85
    11th Earl of Marr says:

    Rich bastards, all pissing in the same pot….

    Then emptying it on the rest of us…..

  86. 86
    Call me a shitbag says:

    i wonder how long the fat bullingdon thug will continue to give her his full backing, before she unexpectedly resigns ?

    another day, another tory doing exactly what tories are genetically programmed to do.

    lower than vermin

  87. 87
    Call me a shitbag says:

    Answer to 78

  88. 88
    Labour Loser says:

    So Baldy, who will replace Miliband after the election?

  89. 89
    Dumbed Down Britain says:

    Whichever teachers ‘educated’ the person who made this decidion should be fired. Without pension. All of them.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/oxford-city-council-apologises-for-cancelling-passion-play-it-mistook-for-live-sex-show-9269414.html

  90. 90
    David Axelrod says:

    No I’d already met Ed Miliband and Ed Balls…DOH!

  91. 91
    Dumbed Down Britain says:

    Whichever teachers ‘educated’ the person who made this decision should be fired. Without pension. All of them.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/oxford-city-council-apologises-for-cancelling-passion-play-it-mistook-for-live-sex-show-9269414.html

  92. 92
    Tachybaptus says:

    Osborne’s latest clamp down on tax avoidance has got off to a cracking start; good to see the new City Minister is doing her bit and entering into the spirit of the thing!!!

    So when can we expect her resignation?

  93. 93
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is Axelrod here to grease up Ed’s diminishing polls. [multi puns intended]

  94. 94
    British Workers For British Jobs says:

    He’s trying to get his attention. Maybe he wants a job in America when this 2015 fiasco of an election is all over.

  95. 95
    Not a caption says:

    I’m amazed no one did shoot him.

  96. 96
    Owen Jones says:

    Tom “Psst David, the jellyfish in intensive care after coming into contact with David Cameron:

  97. 97
    Gordon Brown says:

    I think they should reboot Captain America and have me star in it. It would be called Captain It All Started in America.

  98. 98
    T May says:

    Yankee go home

  99. 99
    Plecostomus says:

    More from this week’s Private Eye –

    In 2003 the high-earning Leadsom and her husband Ben – also an ex-Barclays banker now running an algorithm-based trading company – set up Bandal Ltd to invest in £1m worth of buy-to-let properties in Oxford. Not long afterwards, in March 2005, the couple transferred 24 percent of their shares in the company to two trusts set up for the benefit of their children (the eldest of whom, having turned 18, replaced Andrea Leadsom as a director of the company just two months ago).
    ….

    Perhaps more embarrassingly given her new boss’s avowed distaste for offshore accounts, charges over two of Bandal Ltd’s properties were created in favour of Kleinwort Benson (Channel Islands) Ltd, the Jersey outpost of the investment bank.

    This has long been a private banking and wealth management (ie tax avoidance) operation, not a buy-to-let lender, raising the question of what offshore banking arrangements lie behind the Leadsoms’ use of it when plenty of mainland banks would have funded the high-flyers’ investments.

    http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=news&issue=1364

  100. 100
    Fixed It For You says:

    We need a law to force people to vote Labour.

  101. 101
    Ships Bottom says:

    A brush with 2 noses ?

  102. 102
    Nigella Faragé says:

    It makes you wonder just how much more shit the Coalition can dump on the British people before we actually DO SOMETHING

  103. 103

    You spell that L..A..B..O..R, UH?

  104. 104
    Axelrod says:

    “Okay. Which one of you hand wringing, limp dicked, pinko, commie, bedwetters is called Tom Baldwin?”

  105. 105
    nell says:

    alicampbell to mr alexrod – “who are you? we in the labour party have never heard of you”

  106. 106
    do you mind says:

    mind the gap.
    mind the gap says where am i?
    i says aatma
    i say atma
    i a@-
    i is a prime.
    pri your mate.
    .
    do what you want when you want
    nudge:prince

  107. 107
    nell says:

    tombaldwin to mr alexrod ” it should have been me! me! militwit could have offered me all that money to spin lies about his non existent policies. “

  108. 108
    Ships Bottom says:

    Nose down flying south with Labour again!!

  109. 109
    nell says:

    maybe oxford city council should also be condemned for employing the said dim poorly educated person ?!!

  110. 110
    Elginjon says:

    Tom: How many Americans does it take to get Ed elected PM?
    David: As many as you can afford!

  111. 111
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    It tickles my thighs!

  112. 112
    broderick crawford says:

    Gweeds your latest thread

    “Axelrod on Astroturfing ”

    Comes up Error 404 not found .

    Says it a ll on AxelBod doesn t it really ?

  113. 113
    Baz O's ex Dinah Rod Axle Grease a-hole says:

    Listen Dougie Wee, have I got that the right way?

    I’ve taken another look and this guy your pushing, he’s just a class one fuckin dork.

    There’s nothing to work with, can I throw in the towel now it’s been a long ten hours and I have a burger job offer in New York that I would really like.

  114. 114
    Monomaniacal tedious twat who uses the moniker T May and doesn't realise a joke isn't funny when repeated for the ten millionth time says:

    Wankee go home.

  115. 115
    T May says:

    It’s not a joke. I really do want this particular yankee to go home.

    I would also prefer it if people stop referencing American culture and politics on a website about British politics. I love this country. We have a rich and interesting language, culture and history. We don’t need to import crap from the other side of the Atlantic

  116. 116
    As I said to the wife ..... says:

    Due to the increased scope of the project vis-à-vis yesterday’s meeting, compounded with our aforementioned desire to maintain quality without increasing cost, an as-yet indeterminate amount of time will be allocated to our newest venture, You should all be proud of the amount of effort and energy you have put forth thus far, and can be certain the project’s conclusion will become more apparent as the tasks become increasingly more finite.”

  117. 117
    poor Dougie, the non-thinking persons garden gnome says:

    Wee Alexander.
    It’s all been downhill for wee Dougie since he played the bugle in the 1st Bishopton Company of the Boys Brigade.

  118. 118
    David Axelrod says:

    I’m sure that me and Tom Bladwin will get on just fine

  119. 119
    Baz O's ex Dinah Rod Axle Grease a-hole says:

    Wash your mouth out and go and play hockey sticks now Teresa.

    When you come in you can close the leakiest borders of any island in the world.

  120. 120
    Tom Badwind says:

    Best you clear off out of Britain after we’re elected: tax rates and interest rates will be rocketing once Ed Balls is running the economy.

  121. 121
    My song pardner says:

  122. 122
    We don't live in the EU, but we might live in Europe says:

    Another Liebor “expert”, we have had plenty of Liebour “experts” from 1997-2010this is why we are in deep doo doo, they are “experts” while the money is flowing, when the tap gets turned off , they follow, will politicians ever turn to the real experts in this country the public or are we just their just to be swindled and lied to.

  123. 123
    Remember him?? says:

    I’m the new Arnie Graff.

  124. 124
    Entire website team lost in curious lunchtime drinking incident says:

    Has that gunpowder exploded?

  125. 125
    X Loader says:

    I see you are here to paper over the cracks.

  126. 126
    Miss Creant says:

    Is there even ONE honest person in politics in this sad country, apart from Dennis Skinner?

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Q & A with Dr. Phil

  128. 128
    That's like, you know, whatever says:

    That is so not an awesome thing to say, dude! America is, like, the coolest place on earth, bro. Don’t get me pissed with all your hatin on the US of A. We are total badasses who’ll whoop some ass, ya hear?

  129. 129
    Balders says:

    I told you before Axie babes, the game’s not “What’s my line” it’s “Where’s my line”.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    EVERYBODY-three cheers for the Lanzarote jellyfish that stung David Cameron, what a hero !!! Give it an OBE.

  131. 131
    Flower power says:

    DA: Gee, how many ‘Eds’ are there in the Labour party ?

    TB: Three: Red Ed, Ed Balls and me, Coke Ed.

  132. 132
    lefties - change your underwear! says:

    Changing his pants would be a start

  133. 133
    A friend (of sorts) says:

    From experience can I just say that he’s a slow-witted self-serving jerk?

  134. 134
    REALITY CHECK says:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DennisSkinner

    Ironically given his frequent hammerings of Tory MPs caught having affairs, he himself was caught having an affair during the “dirty Nineties” period where British politics lurched from one sex scandal to another every other week. This led some to call him “the Beat of Legover.”

  135. 135
    David Cameron says:

    Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how you can do your country

  136. 136
    It's very simple if you put your mind to it says:

    All tax dodges should be declared illegal from day one of a Labour government. These arrangements do not benefit our society one jot and should be ended. No more channelling money through European ghost companies – you sell here, you pay here. Coffee houses? Every cup has a 20% corporation tax element payable here – it won’t matter where you but your coffee and no more dodging.

    Next? Every item of clothing has a 20% corporation tax element. You can live where you want and it won’t matter if your wife, husband or dog owns the business – you sell here, you pay tax here.

  137. 137
    3-legged race for Worms, Snails and Amoeba's says:

    “Tom Sellek was busy, but I was available instead. Now, which Turd did you want me to polish?”

  138. 138
    Steve in Fazakerley says:

    Have a spare bedroom, you’re a criminal, have tax avoidance schemes and you’re invited for a gin and tonic at the golf club

  139. 139
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Well it’s not like we are brothers or anything.

  140. 140
    They're all in it together says:

    Anyone with an offshore bank account should be banned from standing for Parliament.

  141. 141
    ukip.i.am.not says:

    Now here is a useful tip. The way to neutralise the effect of a jellyfish sting is for someone to urinate on it.
    Please form an orderly queue to urinate on David Cameron, bags I go first

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    Part 2 the deluded socialist?

  143. 143
    Old joke says:

    Is that Fanny Brown?

    No, just the light from the stained glass windows make it look that colour.

  144. 144
    U have 2 be double dim to vote Labour. says:

    Dim & Dimmer.

  145. 145
    Overheard in the corridor says:

    Axelrod: “I helped elected a totally useless leader for the USA & I hope to do the same here in the UK”.

  146. 146
    Ippikin says:

    Is this a plug for gay marriage?

  147. 147
    No Future With Labour. says:

    When you are in Labour you have to learn to walk backwards, then learn to crawl head & shoulders up Miliband’s arse.

  148. 148
    First bloke says:

    “Who the fuck are you?”

    Second bloke: “Dunno. Who the fuck are you?”

    First Bloke: “This is as bad as Monday Morning View”

    Second Bloke: “What does the caption say?”

    First Bloke: “We’re David Axelrod and Tom Baldwin, apparently. Some yank spin doctors”

    Second bloke. “Never heard of us”

  149. 149
    The Beast of Balls-over says:

    I said all MPs should retire at 65, until I reached 65.
    Now I’m a toothless old no-0ark who lost his credibility cos I never uttered a squeak against Tony Blair but just kept to my old music hall act about the Tories

  150. 150
    Sniff says:

    His moustache was jet black this morning.

  151. 151
    Office staff says:

    [clap, clap, clap , clap, clap]

  152. 152
    Qualified Joke Scientist. says:

    Actually, it gets funnier the more she does it.

  153. 153
    T May says:

    Q.E.D.

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    What’s that growing in his ear?

  155. 155
    Berlusconi says:

    Never heard of Lampedusa?

  156. 156
    The Winning Formula says:

    Could we not replace him with Sir Alex?

  157. 157
    Mark Oaten says:

    It’ll also work in civil partnerships.

  158. 158
    I was Stalin's granny says:

    Hat tip Nye Bevan 1945. At least be original.

  159. 159
    Mr Natural says:

    I know it was you, Fredo

  160. 160
    Popcorn Eater says:

    If only so he can give Miliwonk the hairdryer treatment.

  161. 161
    verticalwater says:

    I’d give £2 a month towards a new home for these!

  162. 162
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Corporation tax is based on profit, not turnover, dumbo!

    Against your income, you have to charge for the cost of sale. Coffee is not free and wages have to paid. Premises costs too.

    What you are proposing is a turnover tax. We have one. It is called VAT.

    You will no doubt come back and say that the retailer ought to be charged that. OK, in that case, what do you think will happen to the price of that cup of coffee?

    Clearly you have no idea about how a business is run. Many of us here do. Your ideas are almost as stupid as those of the Maximum Imbecile.

    Have you washed your Che Guevara t-shirt recently?

  163. 163
    You fucking dreg of society says:

    What sort of fucking socialist are you if you have a spare bedroom, when there are people waiting for council accommodation with children?

    There need is greater than yours. Yet you selfishly hog empty space.

    You absolute c’unt!

  164. 164
    You fucking dreg of society says:

    What? Like Sir Stuart Bell, former Labour Party MP with his flat in Paris?

    You moronic c’unt!

  165. 165
    Rightallalong says:

    Axelrod: ‘Okay, let me see your policies !’
    Baldwin: ‘Er well, er….actually….’

  166. 166
    Bald Loser says:

    British jobs for British people.

  167. 167
    RichUpNorth says:

    Who?

  168. 168
    Fabians are Evil says:

    “See!!! my Marxist roots are better than yours and nearly the same as Ed’s”

    http://www.discoverthenetworks.org/individualprofile.asp?indid=2466

  169. 169
    Kulak betrayed by Marxist dew. says:

    “The eyes have it”

  170. 170
    Spud-eating Kiddy-fiddler-obeying Mick says:

    Some Sinn Fein slut was the first, but she never bothered to go to work

  171. 171
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “I look like Kevin Webster’s dad? Who the Hell is Kevin Webster? And why should I care what someone called Sally thinks?”

  172. 172
    Jackie Smiths DVD says:

    Look closely at his ear hair – yuk

  173. 173
    jyt65 says:

    “I have a direct line to Mossad so you better do as I say or I’ll tell them all your secrets too!”

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    “When David Axelrod met his future colleague Tom Baldwin,”
    proof of an axiom would soon follow? ‘Those who can, do. Those who can’t, import a spin-doctor to try and create an illusion. That despite all the available evidence, they just might.

  175. 175
    The Dark Lord Mandelsun says:

    A person without a shadow should keep out of The Sun

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    If I had your habit I would have to shave my moustache …

  177. 177

    How one earth will they get work visas in time or will AxleDynorod come in as a student? I’ve done the research for him anyway: http://parkfarmneighbourhoodwatch.blogspot.co.uk/search?q=Conservative&max-results=20&by-date=true

  178. 178
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Lampedusa. As good a reason as any for securing our own borders.

  179. 179
    Mandy says:

    More thrusr Tom, ooogh -that hit the spot.

  180. 180
    Mandy says:

    More thrusr Tom, ooogh -that hit the spot.

  181. 181
    UnMasker says:

    That excludes any sitting MEPs, a good proportion of the British Army, any diplomats etc. In fact, it is such a stupid and populist proposal it could only have come from Milbandwagon.

  182. 182
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    That flash polo fan. Chukka what’isname?

  183. 183
    geordieboy says:

    Fuck me I thought it was Axle Foley with a Michael Jackson makeover.


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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”


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