April 16th, 2014

GuyNews Special: Walthamstow’s #BiscuitGate Outrage

Expenses are back in the news, so the Guy News special rapporteur decided to travel to sunny Walthamstow to ask Stella Creasy’s constituents what they thought about their MP’s #BiscuitGate troughing. A complaint was sent to the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner after St. Ella claimed £30.98 on expenses for Jammie Dodgers, chocolate fingers, kettle chips, sensations, Viennese biscuits, onion rings and Starburst sweeties for Labour Party volunteers.

The people of Walthamstow have spoken…


  1. 1
    Maria Miller says:

    Is it a coincidence that since the introduction of foodbanks The makers of Rizla, Special Brew & Scratchcards have recorded record profits?

  2. 2
    Nige Evans says:


  3. 3
    Táxpáyér says:

    Bliar’s Jammy Justice Dodgers!

  4. 4
    This is what religion does to people says:

  5. 5
    Sherman says:

    They are all dodgy and jammy.

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ll get back to you when Sue tells me what biscuit I like.

  7. 7
    Táxpáyér says:

    ‘Tis a more general case of this.

  8. 8
    Man in a suitcase says:

    Cutting edge stuff …..

  9. 9
    BBC News and Propaganda Unit says:

    We prefer the Peek Frean Trotsky Assortment.

  10. 10
    Robert says:

    Owen Jones has grown a beard and started working for Guido

  11. 11
    Parliament is a gay disco says:

    We love disco biscuits

  12. 12
    Hoe Street says:

    You went all the way to Walthamstow and didn’t report on the world class levels of waste, mismanagement and corruption at the local council? Guido, you really have to give your reporter a kick up the backside. The very least he could have does is asked to see the last election expenses records which the council hid in the basement of the town hall and then refused to produce on the ground the basement was full of asbestos.

  13. 13
    Tony Smooth says:

    I am a Jammy Dodger type of guy

  14. 14
    nell says:

    Obviously she’s been taking the advice of dianeabbott and the shadow health team on healthy eating habits.

  15. 15
    Duck house, jammy dodgers, I don't care says:

    A principle is a principle, doesn’t matter if its £30 or £300000…..she is a tougher, scamming us for her own ends.
    She has to go.

  16. 16
    Angela Eagle says:

    I like pink fingers

  17. 17
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Farley’s Rusks?

  18. 18
    Stella Spender says:

    Come on, you really think all those minority folk wont vote Labour once we’ve scared them into thinking the Tories will deport them and kick them out of their council flats?

  19. 19
    Eh, Sammy? says:

    Don’t see why I should be paying for my MP’s eye tests either.

  20. 20
    Dave "El Chillaxo" Cameron says:

    Ginger Nuts

  21. 21
    Red Ken Lyingscum says:

    Looks very enriched there.

    Nice to see Diane Fatbott strolling amongst the citizens of the world Walthamstow.

  22. 22
    Gordon McBreath says:

    I’m crackers

  23. 23
    Very little helps says:

    At least the choice of supplier was not the ungovernable Co-Op so no eventual contribution to New Labour coffers.

  24. 24
    Tom Watson says:

    Actually it was an honest mix-up. That was my claim for my lunch yesterday.

    Om nom nom.

  25. 25
    Bill Quango MP says:

    3 days wasn’t it?
    And the response was ‘something chocolatey’.

    Sadly, that wasn’t a low point of your premiership. It was, if anything, a pretty good sort of week for team Gordon

  26. 26
    LOL says:

    I like the woman who says “Politics is a dir-ty game”.

  27. 27
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Apparently, Esther McVey (Con) twittering something about Liverpool whilst some Scousers were ‘mourning’ their de@d for the umpteenth time is a h@nging offence:


    She wasn’t even at the fucking ‘service’.

    Yet, Diane Abbott (Lab) twittering FROM Viscount ‘Man of the People’ Stansgate’s funeral is acceptable.

    I’m confused.

  28. 28
    Sue says:

    Chocolate logs

  29. 29
    honest observer says:

    Owen can’t yet grow a beard.

  30. 30
    Evil Dead says:

    His family have a fucking nerve. As do Clegg, Steel and gang who claim they knew nothing. Bunch of fucking liars.

    Liberal MP Sir Cyril Smith was part of a high-level p*edophile ring operating at Westminster in the 1970s, a Labour MP has claimed. Simon Danzcuk alleges in a new book Sir Cyril used his influence to escape prosecution for sexually abusing boys. He told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme the MP was part of an “informal” network of sex abusers. And he claimed police were pressured by the authorities to drop investigations into his activities.

    “Had he been prosecuted, then the house of cards would have fallen, in terms of that p*edophile network, and it could have brought the government down,” the Labour MP told Today. He also claimed child abuse allegations against Sir Cyril were widely known at the time and were even raised in public, at a Liberal party conference.

    Sir Cyril’s family have said they are “saddened” by Mr Danzcuk’s allegations “made so long after Sir Cyril Smith’s death and at a time he is no longer able to defend himself”.

  31. 31
    lolwut says:

    Who cares? This has fuck all to do with biscuits

  32. 32
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    St Ella of Artois and Cannes.

  33. 33
    Mark Oaten The Obvious says:


  34. 34
    The British media are cunts says:

    God knows how much Dianne Fartbott claims then.

  35. 35
    Ed Balls says:

    Fucking hell its windy out there. Only went out to get the missus some bread and got blown into the pub.

  36. 36
    Fishy says:

    Sorry to interrupt, GF, but having just got back from foreign parts, I spotted this denial from one of Andy Burnham’s advisers which takes the biscuit. They are claiming that the figures for the numbers of deaths at Burnham’s Stafford Death Camp were ‘made up’.

    A number of hard left activists have been claiming this for years. Saying that there was not even ONE death at Stafford due to poor care. But try telling that the friends and relatives that really suffered at that hole.

    So more denial from Labour. It was said that it was Miller’s aid who inadvertently did for her over her expenses – I hope it is the same for Burnham.

    I can find no, condemnation of Scally’s comments from the slimy Burnham. He needs to be challenged and sack his aide / policy adviser, now.

    Needless to say, the BBC won’t be interested. They completed buried the Jarman report in September, on the appalling state of the NHS under Labour, although every other broadcaster and news organisation gave it prime billing.

    Burnham and Labour are lower than vermin, to paraphrase an earlier NHS champion.


  37. 37
    Ooer missus says:

    What is a jammie todger and a chocolate ring?

  38. 38
    Princess of all our hearts says:

    15:51 tweet, but the minute’s silence was at 15:06.

    If I’d realised it was a National Holiday for mourning I’d have taken the day off work.

    When is the annual commemoration for the Bradford, Ibrox(?) or Heysels victims?

    When will the Queen return to Buckingham Palace to lead the nation in sorrow?

    IS it true that anyone who dies at a soccer brand sports event gets 72 virgins in heaven?

  39. 39
    "Sir" Cyril Smith says:

    I could tell you but you wouldn’t believe me.

  40. 40
    Dowing Street Dave says:

    I’ve had more than one finger of fudge, I can tell you.

  41. 41
    Cyril Smith's family says:

    Speakign as Cyril smith’s grandson, and also as his son, and his boyfriend, on behalf of his dear wife, ie my sister, who is also technically my aunt, what I feel most saddened about is that his will has been an absolute bugger to sort out.

  42. 42
    Gordon Brown, Prime Minister says:

    This clhocolate log is an absolute disaster. It doesn’t taste of chocolate at all. Where are the bits of sweetcorn and the shapr tangy chiocolate flavour?. It must have been laid by a bigot. Where’s Sue. What was she thinking of?

  43. 43
    Jacky Treehorn says:

    Are there any English people in walthamstow?

  44. 44
    Tesco is a pile of shite says:

    Owen CAN fuck off, preferably right now.

  45. 45
    Twampersand mk II says:

    How long did it take him to find someone who can speak English in Walthamstow?

    What a wonderfully diverse shit-hole.

  46. 46
    Up da workers! says:

  47. 47
    Eric Pickles says:

    Well done for sticking to the diet Tom. I’m still going to the gym. I have my lunch at the cafe there anyway. They do Magnum choc ices and I usually have about 12.

  48. 48
    Eric Pickles says:

    Noc pladat hloffar kradet spiyadesk?

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Who shut the investigation down, where are they now ?

  50. 50
    Maria Miller's SPAD says:

    Have Carry On films been banned yet?

  51. 51
    Cyril Smith's undertaker says:

    Sadly, we didn’t spot a little lad hidden in the rolls of fat hanging for Cyril’s ample paunch and he was interred with the big man.

    That was the very last thing we wanted to happen!

  52. 52
    jgm2 says:

    Somebody who is obviously afraid of flying. I have some sympathy – I’m a nervous flyer myself but I overcome it not by incanting ‘God is my saviour’ but by getting a skinful of b*o*o*ze down me before I get on the plane. Followed by regular top-ups throughout the flight.

    Then I find I don’t give a fuck if the fucking thing crashes.

  53. 53
    Garry Baldy. says:

    Her defence is crumbling.

  54. 54
    Apthorpe says:

    Looks like Aden on my last tour back in 67. A mixture of foreign influx and locals with the ability to drag productivity down and spread the poverty as wide a possible. Can be seen in just about any town these days. Still I hear the curried goat is excellent if you like that sort of thing.

  55. 55
    Can't place the accent says:

    Which country is the town of Walthamstow in?

  56. 56
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    One day in the future this lefty nerd will become an MP, wear nice suits, become a Lord, mix with oligarchs, have several multi million pound properties in an around London, have a Brazilian boyfriend and will STILL claim to be faithful to his working class, socialist roots.


  57. 57
    Benny Street Shocker Part II says:

    If you thought Jasmin Beckett, Owen Jones and gang were upset over Benefits Street, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

    The producers of Channel 4 documentary series Benefits Street have confirmed they are working on a follow-up with the working title Immigration Street. Kieran Smith of Love Productions said the show was in “the very early stages” and had yet to be commissioned. He said his company had been talking to residents on Derby Road in Southampton, describing it as “a place with a long history of an immigrant population”.

  58. 58
    Lord Prescott says:

    I’m still faithful to my working class socialist roots.

  59. 59
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  60. 60
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    St. Ella owes ‘Fonzie’ an apology as well.

  61. 61
    broderick crawford says:

    Why didn t the security marshall just declare her a flight risk and
    shoot her ?

  62. 62
    Ed Miliband says:

    David Cameron snapped in today’s paper sunbathing next to 3 topless women

    Strangely, look closely, you can actually count 7 individual tits

  63. 63
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:


  64. 64
    Táxpáyér says:

    Brass Eye was great.

  65. 65
    An awkward bastard says:

    I have at time felt like a little snack for elevenses.

    Never in my lifetime have I sent the bill to my employer.

  66. 66
    broderick crawford says:

    Is he OJ s younger cousin .. he s surely no more than twelve and three quarters ..

  67. 67
    Lewis Carroll says:

    Biscuit meet dog. Dog biscuit.

  68. 68
    Norma Stitz says:

    He is no longer able to defend himself” rather like all the small boys he stripped, abused and interfered with. His family should thank their lucky stars that it was all covered up by the Libs, police, MI5 and Special Branch until the obese pervert turned his toes up. A disgusting saga of depravity and corruption.

  69. 69

    Commanders of aircraft of the Parties shall use the greatest caution and prudence in approaching aircraft and ships of the other Party operating on and over the high seas, in particular, ships engaged in launching or landing aircraft, and in the interest of mutual safety shall not permit: simulated attacks by the simulated use of weapons against aircraft and ships, or performance of various aerobatics over ships, or dropping various objects near them in such a manner as to be hazardous to ships or to constitute a hazard to navigation.

  70. 70
    Owen Jones says:

    Austerity is killing people

  71. 71
    Votes wanted, we promise we will lie our heads off says:

    Yesterday the media were all over Farage, it was Farage this and Farage that, today not a word, have I missed something,have the media had a look at the EUSSR’s rule book on expenses and gone to ground, will someone have to apologise or is that it.

  72. 72
    Lance Corporal Bill Bloggs (retired) says:

    Kettle crisps I hear you say.

    What is wrong with non branded supermarket crisps?

    I thought buying non branded drugs was the way dave was going to save the NHS and stimulate economic growth.

  73. 73
    Votes wanted, we promise we will lie our heads off says:

    Why have they collectively bought a hearing aid, they didn’t give a fck or listen to us crap when they were in from 1997 to 2010, what makes me think they will give a fck now or listen to us trash.

  74. 74
    Joss Taskin says:

    How ? Evidence, please.

  75. 75
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Farage is so yesterday.

  76. 76
    Elsie Hargreaves 5 Railway Terrace Dewsbury says:

    I haven’t been able to find Jammie Dodgers in the shops near me for years.

    The people of Dewsbury deserve the same treatment as received by Londoners I say.

  77. 77
    Piss loving muzee says:


  78. 78
    Not benefitted from anything Liebour did says:

    They tried to do a programme in the North End of Birkenhead, but the “elders” told the people not to get involved.

  79. 79
    Gordon Brown says:

    Fizzy orange time.

  80. 80
    A Ship's Lawyer says:

    If Farage promises to pay all his expenses (which he says he does not want and are sent to him without any claim whatsoever by the EU pen pushers) then I will vote for him.

  81. 81
    It's the mallow centre that makes it so moreish says:

    Forget Jammie Dodgers. Everyone knows Wagon Wheels are the finest chocolatey creation known to man.

  82. 82
    Jazz Porridge says:

    It’s the principle, she sees nothing wrong in making taxpayers fork out for snacks for her party political work.

    Brave of Guido to visit Walthamstow, a right sinkhole.

  83. 83
    Fed up Joe Public & all voting UKIP ORG says:

    Do these Parasitic, Pimps & Leeches aka MPs actually pay for anything
    out of the money they purloin from US at every available opportunity ??

    Its time we kicked the lot of them out & without compensation !!

    the ConsLieLaborLebDims Dinosaurs are not fit for purpose, not one
    of them is cares about the electors & they should all be completely
    culled at the G.E.!!! to rid our society of this dangerous corrupt

  84. 84
    Ab Dull the head chopper says says:

    Its the Isllamic Republic of Walfemstow

  85. 85
    UKIPPER says:

    Wheres the TIMES reporters when you need them, OH hang on Labour are not gaining in popularity like UKIP so no smears are required.

  86. 86
    T May says:

    Yankee going home

  87. 87
    Southern Softy says:

    Thats Paddy Pantsdown, that ginger, Scottish dipso and Ming the Merciless amonst many others in the LibDems. They should be called to account, but they won’t be.


  88. 88
    Forest Road says:

    All the whites are at work at that time of day.

  89. 89
    Walthamstow Labour Party says:

    They will vote how we tell them to.

    There was an 125% turnout in the High Street Ward at the 2010 local elections.

  90. 90
    Common Sense says:

    If he doesn’t like being a student, he should get a job.

  91. 91
    The foreign correspondent. says:

    Geedo must be doing well if he can afford to send his staff on foreign jollies.

  92. 92
    Common Sense says:

    I nearly died laughing at the nonsense that the Labour Party have been coming out with.

  93. 93
    Woody wood peckers up says:

    As far as I recall, it was that little actor/director fellow who married his stepdaughter (or something like that anyway) who, when asked: “Is sex dirty?” replied: “Only when it is done properly”.

  94. 94
    Just asking says:

    Do people who live in ships get the vote?

  95. 95
    A social cleansing in action says:

    The shocking thing about this report is the lack of ethnic English. Is this typical of settlements within Londonistan?

  96. 96
    1932 Club says:

    She’s hot – who cares.

  97. 97
    Yo ho ho and a tall glass thingy of rum says:

    You should learn the difference between an allowance and an expense.

    No fucking wonder you are always sea sick.

  98. 98
    BurkanHair says:

    Passed through there a day or two ago, and if the High Street was anything to go by, you have already had it.

  99. 99
    Ms Millpond says:

    .. and not everyone gets to have their own biscuit named after them.

  100. 100
    Bombay cooker says:

    Who? Curry?

    Is she still on about dodgy eggs?

  101. 101
    MP says:

    We only buy non branded goods when we use our own money, which is never.

  102. 102
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Who would employ a fine specimen of lefty agitation like him?
    He’s more likely to spend his time organising strikes and walkouts over any management decision he happened not to agree with.

    Another Owen Jones in the making.

    That said, the bBBc might have him.

  103. 103
    Andrew Mitchell, says:

    Non branded goods are for plebs.

  104. 104
    Iain Duncan Smith, you can call me IBS says:

    I’m staying out of this…. Waiter! I’ll just have the £39.00 late starter breakfast…

  105. 105
    Owenophobe says:

    Yes in Southern Europe, where they have REAL austerity, ie: 30% cuts instead of 1% here, and all thanks to the EU. Which is why you don’t say a word about it. Just like you don’t say a word about Islamic fanatics taking over achools whereas if they were white Christian nutters you’d be blue in the face from screaming about it.

  106. 106
    Diane Abbot says:

    You two should learn to indulge yourselves. I had a large trough placed on my desk and my SpAd’s chief task is to keep it filled with KFC chicken. You should see the poor mite puffing and panting as he runs up and down the stairs from the KFC lorry parked outside to my office carrying another pallet of steaming hot spicy chicken wings. Mmmmmm. Now that is what I call refreshments.

  107. 107
    Column No. 5 says:

    “The people of Walthamstow have spoken…”

    In broken English.

  108. 108
    Mr FRIES, the richest chippy outside Hackney says:

    Yes, even when he became a Lard he would still visit us every mornign noon and night for an extra large bag of those working class roots: potatoes, chipped and deep fried with a fish, pie, saveloy and free batter bits.
    Mind you, he’s a dainty eater. Always removes the batter from his haddock before eating it .. and throws away the haddock

  109. 109
    Our survey says says:

    Sir cyrils family can fuck off and stop defending the pervert.

  110. 110
    Vicky Spragg says:

    Spitting image of Thomas Beatie who gave birth to 3 children after a sex change.

  111. 111
    Dave says:

    Obviously doesn’t believe in helping her aides achieve their five-a-day target. A good selection of the crap that a typical Labour supporter would eat.

  112. 112
    Dave says:

    Make an appointment at Specsavers.

  113. 113
    OS1 says:

    I don’t get it. Looks and sounds like your typical American travelling.
    What’s the problem here, are there no Jammy Dodgers onboard?

  114. 114
    Mmmm, custard creams says:

    Be fair, he had to focusgroup it first.

  115. 115

    We got the big story and vox popped the voters.

  116. 116
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Muslim Councillors are in Pakistan ‘to exchange advice about best practice':


    Given our famous 125% turnout one wonders what could be left to learn, but never mind, it’s one way of dodging the election campaign. It’s not as though they need to persuade us to vote, since it’s all conveniently sorted out at the count.

  117. 117
    Col. Nut says:

    Danny Alexander?

  118. 118

    Dead easy to be a socialist if you don’t pay tax.

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    This is what happens when you chew pens. #Don’tdoStupid

  120. 120
    Ludicrous says:

    Wheels…..see the size of the fuckers now. Wagon buttons ffs

  121. 121
    Col. Nut says:

    She was crackers.

  122. 122
    Wizards sleeves says:

    Size of their minges?

  123. 123

    The police who allowed themselves to be pressured into turning a blind eye are as corrupt as the vile piece of shit himself . How any normal human being could wilfully ignore such a grotesquely obese 30 stone heap of stinking putrescence to abuse small children who’s sworn duty it is to protect is probably in many ways worse than the abuser.
    Thirty years on the police also ignored the muslim gangs responsible for the organised abuse of white girls in the interests of ‘ community cohesion ,nothing has changed!

  124. 124
    Can I commit fraud in my job and keep it? says:

    I don’t believe you lot! She is an MP and it his her entitlement to abuse our money and more or less commit fraud – can’t you see that it is her right!

  125. 125
    Abdul the envelope stuffer in Lahore says:

    How many of them do you reckon have the vote Guido?

  126. 126
    Can I commit fraud in my job and keep it? says:

    On top of some of the expenses shit that has been happening if I was still in the military and had done 1% of what these shit’s have done, I would have been kicked out via a spell in military prison. These clowns – hand SOME of the money back and everything’s alright! Twats.

  127. 127
    Jim says:

    In person 41%.
    By post 125%

  128. 128
    Jim says:

    Error, that was only the Postal Vote.

  129. 129
    give £3/month for ummm...Cheers easy... says:

    What about MGM?
    It would probably be a nicer world if half the male population of the world got to keep that certain bit….that they get no choice to keep!

    I’d be pi $$ ed if some tw@ took a knife to my co#K

  130. 130
    Jim says:

    There is nobody to hold the Press to Account.
    It is unheard of in the UK for a politician having to call an English newspaper a liar just before an Election.

  131. 131
    Anthony Spencer says:

    A few packets of biscuits is not so terrible . There are much worse examples of Parliamentary greed. Leave her alone.

  132. 132
    Jonny says:

    30 quid on biscuits for volunteers? Pretty twatty isn’t it?

  133. 133
    OTBC says:

    There are a few Anglos left but definitely a minority . Very sad. Place has been wrecked by the one party state. The council is corrupt but no one cared to look.off to vote UKIP

  134. 134
    Nigel Farage says says:

    The women is a rank amateur, should have claimed it was for banks of computers…And really receipts, whats a receipt? She will be using her allowances on real work soon, giving us on the EU gravy train a bad name, a this rate I might be forced to turn up occasionally, Really very unprofessional troughing, can i suggest s spell in Brussels.

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    “Biscuit Gate”
    Or Hobnobbing with MPs, if you prefer.

  136. 136
    inside out says:

    It’s diversity init.

  137. 137
    inside out says:

    Its the home of the peaceful Ajem Choudrey,who wants Sharia law for the UK.His mates have been jailed for attacking pedestrians walking past the Mosque in the High Street,with a can of Stella in their hand.

  138. 138
    EmPee says:

    This really takes the biscuit.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Which country is Walthamstowe in?

  140. 140
    Biffo says:

    They’re as bad as the perverts themselves by turning a blind eye. Hopefully, karma will come & get them. Where are the terrorists when you need them?

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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