April 16th, 2014

Boris: Seek Assistance

Don’t you just hate those commuters who hold everyone up at the barrier when you’re trying to get on the tube?

Via @michaelsavage, @uxeditor.

262 Comments

  1. 1
    Useless Ed Miliband says:

    Don’t mention the economy…

    Like

    • 2
      nell says:

      I see the parrot militwit is still sitting on the shoulder of bullyballs the pirate yelling ‘cost of living crisis’

      Like

      • 7
        Costa Coffee Crisis says:

        The only crisis is Labour’s comedy duo. With Miliband and Balls as their Plonker All Stars 1-2 the only support they’ll get is from benefit claimants, union stooges and public sector wastrels.

        Like

        • 17
          Our 'Mo' says:

          Don’t forget the Im*am, with a shoebox full of postal votes.

          Like

          • Jus' sayin says:

            Guys, going negative over a year before the next general election just doesn’t cut it.

            In fact it makes the Tories come across as a bit desperate and anxious.

            I can understand why the Conservative Party has gone negative so early, they are, after all, hated by the disabled, the unemployed, the low paid, public sector workers, housing benefit claimants, people with mental health issues and their carers, old people, a large chunk of the middle class and most european residents of this country.

            On the plus side the Conservatives can rely on the votes of tax evaders, bankers, buy to landlords and millionaires.

            Actually, when you look at it like that I fully understand why Crosby has demanded the Tories go negative so far in advance of the election. It is their only only hope.

            Let’s face it, if Osborne wants to claim credit for any growth in the economy he will have to explain what his contribution towards that growth has been.

            I think it has been the hardworking people of this country dragging themselves out of their beds every morning and doing an honest day’s work year in year out that has created that growth, paid to bail out the bankers and covered the shortfall for Osbornes’ tax evading chums.

            If Osborne wants to play the hero and claim credit for their hard work then good luck to the clown.

            Like

          • Labour party political broadcast says:

            This post above was brought to you by The STafford hospital trust and the Iraq war victims association

            Ps you forgot ” cost of living Cwisis” now get back on message

            Lol lol lol

            Like

          • Time for D-Smith to disappear says:

            Jus’ sayin is right.

            Duncan-Smith is going about loosing the next election for the tories in the right way, like he losted it for Major in 1997 and failed to deliver anything after 2001.

            Like

          • Alice says:

            “it has been the hardworking people of this country dragging themselves out of their beds every morning and doing an honest day’s work year in year out that has created that growth”
            So, NOT your typical Labour voter then?

            Like

      • 9
        Fishy says:

        It’ll take a lot longer for them to change their tune, Bully Balls is still trying to turn his car around.

        Like

      • 11
        Eleanor says:

        Where do you see?

        Like

    • 3
      The two muppets. says:

      What we want is a judge led inquiry into the financial mess the Coalition has got us into.

      Like

      • 6
        nell says:

        What we’d like is that judge led inquiry into Iraq that is already two years late and has cost us £7.5.million to be published preferably before the 2015 election.

        Like

        • 16
          David 'bumsex marriage' Cameron says:

          I would like a judge led inquiry into whether chicks with dicks should become preferred policy to appease the feminist and gay lobby for votes.

          Like

          • Charmed I'm Sure says:

            I was never really one for tranny porn, unlike Harmans fella I’m not into watching some faggot get pegged shitless by some AIDS ridden big handed Brazilian. But I recently saw the gape queen Ava Devine getting done right up her elastic shitter by a fairly decent looking shemale, I have to confess that I worked myself up quite a few rancid milk gloves watching that video. Was so much better that Miss Devine’s recent work where she usually gets done so hard she ends up prolapsing, only so many times you can watch a tarts arsehole collapse before you start crying.

            Like

          • broderick crawford says:

            Try ” cocks in frocks ” davey … it s much more refined .

            Like

          • broderick crawford says:

            What happens when you re a small breasted tranny and have to see a doctor about a ” down there” medical problem ?

            Do you get a free gender reassignment op on the NHS ?

            ( no wonder it s bankrupt ).

            Like

          • Cutter says:

            Only one answer Dave – free (compulsory) strap-ons – plus, of course, compulsory circumcision of all foreskins / labia / clitorii.

            m sure they would find a ready market in some health food shops.

            Like

          • Judge Jeffries says:

            can we have a judge led inquiry into why all inquiries arent judge led,save all the messing about.

            Like

        • 51
          Cinna says:

          Chilcott’s got a long way to go before it beats the inquiry into the loss of the SS Lancastria. That happened in June 1940 and the report is closed until 2040.

          Just saying.

          Like

    • 8
      Plastic Bertrand says:

      Is good old fashioned change not accepted in the Islamic republic of Londonistan?

      Like

    • 18
      Ed Twelvety Balls says:

      Don’t forget the cost of driving crisis! My insurance costs me a fortune!

      Like

      • 69
        broderick crawford says:

        yeh well what d ‘ you expect Eddie … they still haven t decided to grant you a provisional yet .

        Like

    • 29
      Sally Bercow says:

      You can have my oyster if you like.

      Like

    • 34
      Guilty Guilty Guilty says:

      How in the name of all that is fucking holy do the pigs find nothing wrong in Tower Hamlets?

      http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/lutfur-rahman-police-find-no-credible-evidence-of-tower-hamlets-council-criminality-after-mayors-office-investigated-9264921.html

      Maybe something to do with all the trafficked eastern euro sex workers and smack dealer the MET has hidden around that rotten fucking borough? The MET police are the biggest pimps in the country along side Derek Laud of course.

      Like

      • 61
        Anonymous says:

        To busy arresting DLT for something that might have happened 20 years ago

        This country is so fucked

        Like

        • 238
          Mrs Moppet says:

          That must be the record for the quickest ever enquiry done and dusted before the printer ink is even dry. Was Ali Dizzy in charge of the investigation again?Or Bernie Hogie-Hownottodoit?

          Like

      • 72
        broderick crawford says:

        Hooray !! Carte blanche therefore to re open massage parlours , illicit spielers ganja houses and all other forms of tax exempt income streams now that Plod has gone home and we can get back to financing the jihad
        in good ole BEFNAL GREEN.. .

        Like

        • 84
          Frederick Foresk!ncheese says:

          What the fuck is a ganja house you absolute out of touch fucking mong tard prick. About as funny as a kid on dialysis desperately waiting for that phone call as they slowly turn yellow and swell up. No amount of One D autographs or signed Man U shirts is gonna filter all that piss much longer.

          Like

    • 42
      Eleanor says:

      That goon dressed as a paramilitary cop wasn’t much use then.

      What’s the point of sending him to man the barriers if his only intent is to shoot people dead and not help them?

      Like

    • 138
      DC says:

      Another tosspot.

      Like

    • 175
      Mr Nobody says:

      First it was too far too fast. Then it was a cost of living crisis. Now it’s about desperately trying to find another attack line – any attack line – on matters fiscal or economic.

      Like

    • 249
      Ken Livingstone says:

      Why doesn’t someone give him a blowjob that will focus his giant mind.

      Like

  2. 4
    Inspector Sands says:

    The ghost of Bob “no electronics” Crow

    Like

  3. 5
    nell says:

    And poor Boris where are the railway staff when you need help? I suppose they’re stuck in a back room drinking coffee somewhere.

    Like

    • 36
      M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Boris just hit an automatic picket line.

      Like

      • 75
        broderick crawford says:

        BORIS SAYS

        I had that Ken Livingstone in front if me at the barrier the other day, holding me up while preaching socialism to the masses .

        Like

        • 85
          Frederick Foresk!ncheese says:

          Eh? What the fuck was that meant to be? Funny? Insightful? Or just the pointless fucking ramblings of the saddo pub bore wanker with no friends? What a fucking tard case wanker you are.

          Like

          • Tesco is a pile of shite says:

            Is that much different from an eyeless crap-slapping undead tramp pipe, or even a bastardised fart-shining tit lorry?

            Like

  4. 10
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    So far our cuts have hit,Children,Students and Disabled, it’s about time they were brought down a peg or two….Hear Hear………Pip Pip

    Like

    • 14
      IDS = Miracle Worker says:

      The cuts have flushed out a lot of lead swingers and shirkers. Plenty of people on “disabled” benefits have miraculously found work once their benefits were dropped after assessment. IDS has healed more people than the NHS!

      Like

      • 20
        The British media are cunts says:

        But bummer Burnham killed more when he ran the NHS

        Like

        • 28
          SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

          That made it all the more nauseating when he addressed the mawkish comemoration at Anfield.

          Like

          • M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

            He said it was not about “me” but about “you”. Then proceeded to talk about himself while ingratiating himself to the audience. Sycophantic twat.

            Like

          • SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

            Also his Liverpool whine was noticeably ratcheted up a notch Blair himself could have done no better.

            Like

          • Liverpool victim culture says:

            They love to wallow in self-pity, especially in public.

            Like

          • Selective Memory Chip says:

            Funny Dat. So many people not in work but at the ground. All part of Victimpool.

            Like

          • Faz Ackerly says:

            You’ll never weep alone…?? Hubcap stealing wankers, the lot of them.

            Like

      • 80
        Will says:

        IDS has managed to make so many lame people feel better is a miracle, he has managed to make so many disabled people find work and be well again that he should be nominated for a sainthood

        Like

        • 116
          Selective Memory Chip says:

          Yes, the Lazarus of the twenty first century. Ably assisted by Get a ****ing job Esther oy Vey.

          Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Sounds like another joo. The fluoride will do the job.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I see after a brief lull my sock puppets are creeping back. Peter Tatchel must have had his giro paid early this week.

            Like

        • 149
          Time for D-Smith to disappear says:

          THe Atos implemented assessments were introduced by the BBCs Purnell. Everybody was assessed. Far too many had not been assessed for 3-5 years. Duncan-Smith left in place Purnell’s changes. Horribly Duncan-Smith does not have the wit and intelligence to review Purnell’s DWP changes. Those who needed to get up and get a job have done so. Those remaining are in various levels of incapacity which changes through the day.

          Looks like the Tories having seen what, “not up to it” Duncan-Smith, will come to the rescue like when they looked at him after two years of leadership. IRAQ is the classic example of why he remains unfit to be a minister.

          Cameron does not move soon then the media will have a field day.

          Like

        • 259
          dAVE t says:

          He is not the Messiah.

          Like

    • 250
      Ken Livingstone says:

      It was interesting earlier that it was mentioned if wall street had been more sophisticated during world war 2 that they would have taken ausswitch private.
      Please forgive the spelling.

      Like

  5. 12
    Ed Millibot says:

    The Cost of Of Living Cwisis

    Like

  6. 15
    Forget Heysel, Remember Hillsborough says:

    I know that embarrassing moment, me, when they say there’s a problem with the credit card. So I do one, me, like, before the bizzies turn up.

    Like

  7. 19
    Vlad the G(r)8 says:

    On yer bike!

    Like

    • 41
      Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

      Vlad, it is time for Assad to step in and bail Barry out of the hole that he has dug for himself.

      Like

  8. 21
    Boris says:

    Damn – this is not my Oyster card and – golly gumdrops – these aren’t my trousers!

    Like

  9. 22
    The British media are cunts says:

    The BBC really can’t bring themselves to big up the recovery, where’s shagger Flanders when you need her hey BBC?

    Like

  10. 23
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    The modern world – where at Tesco an unpaid workfare worker can do a 8 hour shift stacking food and then have to turn up at a food bank for a charity handout in order to eat!

    Boycott workfare

    http://www.boycottworkfare.org

    Like

    • 25
      A Claimant says:

      Better still, boycott work!

      Like

    • 40
      M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Poor bastard.

      Stupid skill-less individual does the minimum paid 8 hour shift in a controlled environment and then gets free food on top of that. Why bother going to school if it’s on a plate in the socialist utopia?

      Nobody need try, nobody need take a risk: Big Brother Moosey Koosey will look after our very need and will provide it by plundering the Evil Rich (who will simply keep on earning and hand it over on demand).

      Cheers Moosa – you got my postal vote pal.

      Like

      • 49
        ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

        Compared to the rich, you are also the poor and should be on their side.

        You’re only one car accident/divorce/lawsuit away from joining them down there.

        Like

        • 54
          Someone says:

          If he doesn’t enjoy being unskilled he can always try college.

          Like

        • 97
          Selective Memory Chip Balls says:

          Gulp!

          Like

        • 221
          jgm2 says:

          Really?

          Only one ‘accident’?

          What kind of accident do you suggest?

          A solo-walking-in-the hills ‘accident’ a la John Smith and Robin Cook or solo walking in the hills accident a la D*r D. K*e*l*ly?

          Divorce?

          Why would divorce be such a financial clusterfuck for anybody?

          If the (inevitably) losing man didn’t have to pay tax and then, out of his post-tax income retain his ex-wife in the manner she had become accustomed in what used to be his house with what used to be his kids? What could possibly change to alleviate the burden on this poor chap?

          Lawsuit?

          Since when were Labour apologists worried about the cost of lawsuits? This is a party who, 800 years – 800 years after Magna Carta, – in an attempt to buy a few more immigrant votes did away with double jeopardy. A protection specifically brought in 800 years 800 years ago precisely to thwart a vengeful, over-powering state tying up inconvenient people’s time and money.

          You utter c*unt.

          Like

          • Fred the pensioner says:

            Perhaps reinstatement of this document and its provisions would provide a springboard for there to be a large number of UKIP MPs in the next Parliament.

            What a manifesto! Chuck out all illegals; dump the EU; reinstate our basic rights; completely (properly) overhaul the criminal justice system and all its freeloading “lawyers”.

            I’d probably vote for that.

            Like

  11. 24
    • 242
      Fred the pensioner says:

      More bullshyte. Can’t say I have noticed all that extra cash in my bank account. Must be in the post somewhere.

      Like

  12. 26
    Stella Cheesy says:

    Have a chocolate diggie – go on, take several.

    Like

  13. 30
  14. 31
    Just askin says:

    Anyone got a link to that footage of the Liverpool fans being hauled into Wembley by other Liverpool fans for free, a few weeks after the Hillsborough deaths?

    Like

  15. 32
    Maria Miller says:

    Lovely warm sunny day today, very hot, people frying eggs on the pavement in Weymouth.

    Like

  16. 34
    Vladimir Putin says:

    Remind me who you’re sending to tell me off again?

    John “I lost to George W Bush” Kerry?
    William “Don’t worry about the vaseline, sailor boy” Hague?

    Or Cathy Ashton, who I recall dealing with back in my KGB days, when she was treasurer of CND and much keener on Russia?

    Like

    • 39
      Carter What The Feck says:

      Bill Hague…you know, that deep voice stuff. You know it makes sense !

      Like

    • 45
      Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

      Quaking in your pants ane you not Putain.

      A few farmers stopped your invasion

      Kiev has 40,000 troops massed ready to invade you

      You lost in Krimea, you fucked up over Syria

      Sorry now, are you not?

      Don’t mess with Sponge Barry No brains

      Like

      • 55
        The British Public says:

        Syria is none of our business. Neither is the Ukraine.

        Like

        • 57
          Spartacus says:

          Afghanistan too

          Not ModBotted this time

          Like

          • The Russians are coming round the mountain when Vlad sings says:

            I agree British public but it will be and sooner than you think

            Like

          • The Normal Nigel says:

            Seems to have a lot of breaks recently, obviously on the bottle or something. Is it not Rev Flours latest job post?

            Like

        • 79
          broderick crawford says:

          …. nor Jersey , Guernsey, Sark , Alderney , the Isle of Wight or Anglesey.

          ( especially Anglesey, the sooner that becomes an enclave of the Irish Republic the better ).

          Like

          • Nairn says:

            Don’t forget the Western Isles. They really are a drain on the taxpayer.

            Like

          • Ockham's Razor says:

            enclave
            exclave

            There, fixed it for you! ;-)

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Don’t forget the biggest exclave and capital city of Ireland – Liverpool.

            Liverpool is to Ireland what Malabo is to Equatorial Guinea.

            Like

          • Not a pavement in the place says:

            Malabo.

            Another shithole where better management could have produced a fine city.

            Oh Africa! The poorest live in the richest lands on earth. It was the cradle for all mankind – almost impossible to believe now.

            Like

          • My Most Fantastic Excellency The President of what was once the food basket of Africa says:

            Oi sunshine, just what are you incineratin’?

            Like

          • Frederik, Baron van Pallandt (dec'd) says:

            Deelight come an I wanna go home.

            Come Mr tallyman and tally me ba na na…

            (That is the Five O’Clock shift done. Will you do the Six for me as I am well buggered after reading LibDem Voice?)

            Like

        • 251
          Ken Livingstone says:

          Hague wants 24″ dildo up his arse, perhaps that will keep him quiet.

          Like

  17. 37
    2 b or not 2 b a luvvie? says:

    So people from working class backgrounds do not know there Shakespeare? Just Ken Loach?

    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/fraser-nelson/2014/04/no-sajid-javid-isnt-a-luvvie-thats-why-hell-be-a-great-culture-secretary/

    Like

  18. 48
    RomaBob... says:

    Oh happy day……. :) However no news on the BBC about the Balls smash up…. wonder why ?

    Like

  19. 58
    Balls and Harpic Car breakers Inc says:

    At least he takes the tube I mean it could be worse he could drive and get in a hit and run

    Like

  20. 68
    Maria Miller says:

    I blame President Goodluck Jonathan’s parents for Nigeria’s problems. Might as well call him Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong Jonathan.

    Like

    • 87
      Bert says:

      Apparently he has set the wheels in motion to change his name to Clusterfuck Jonathan.

      Like

      • 253
        IdiIdiIdiAmin says:

        Its simples,just commit genocide on all muslims in your country, problem solved.
        Hint don’t believe any muslims who say they are moderate, kill them as well.

        Like

    • 106
      Selective Memory Chip says:

      Apparently it’s common to name a child after the first thing seen after the birth, someone goes by the name of bicycle tyre. Not heard of forceps though.

      Like

      • 225
        jgm2 says:

        My mate’s ‘houseboy’ – who must have been in his sixties when I met him in Zim was called ‘Wireless’. Also heard of people named ‘Typewriter’.

        Could have been worse. They could have been born in the 1990’s in the US and been called Treyvon – the happy progeny of Trevor and Yvonne. Or Jonique (John – Monica) or Bradleine (Brendan and Madeleine) etc etc.

        Like

        • 228
          Whilst at it... says:

          There may be two kids just the other side of that bridge called Miniimbecile and Beardc’unt.

          Like

    • 112
      Ex banker says:

      I have a godson in Nigeria called Reverse Gear

      Like

  21. 70
    David Cameron says:

    What is public transport? Can I tax it more?

    Like

  22. 71
    tories are the nazi party says:

    oh god, here we go again

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/apr/16/david-cameron-evangelical-about-christian-faith

    fuck off cameron you nazi

    Like

    • 81
      Dr Frankenfreud says:

      It seems to take a shorter and shorter amount of time for Brtish Prime Ministers to go insane while in office. The last one who left with all his marbles intact, was possibly John Major, but judgingby his choice of squeeze on the side, the jury has to remain out on that one. Before that, was Jim Callaghan, but he was crap at his job.

      Like

  23. 74
    A scaffolders knee wrencher says:

    In the news today, self-proclaimed socialist Owen Jones is to auction off his £3 million collection of vintage wine.

    Like

    • 93
      Tesco is a pile of shite says:

      The little “socialist” tosser can stick a bottle of red up his arse and fuck off while he’s doing it.

      Like

  24. 78
    Brum school governor says:

    Happy East er infidel els, may be the last time. I don’t know. Ha.

    Like

  25. 86
    The Whole World says:

    Government of Ukraine sends column of armoured vehicles to re-conquer the East

    Column of armoured vehicles surrenders to local farmers complaining they were tearing up their fields

    Well done Barry

    Well done Director of the CIA

    Well done Dave and Wee Willy

    You are the laughing stock of the whole world

    Like

  26. 88
    Divine Comedy 200 years after translation (updated for HoC) says:
    
    


    Justice the founder of my fabric mov’d:
    To rear me was the task of power divine,
    Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.

    Before me things create were none, save things
    Eternal, and eternal I endure.
    All hope abandon ye who enter her.

    …or him.

    Like

  27. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Why was taxpayers money spent trying to conceal who nominated Smith for his 1988 honour?

    Like

  28. 92
    Astonishing says:

    Meanwhile Dave sunbathes face down so we cen’t see his developing tits

    Was SamCam topless as well ?

    Shurely the Sun should be onto this…

    Like

    • 100
      Andy Coulson says:

      Bing Crosby is running Britain while Dave is on maternity leave

      Like

      • 120
        Blowing Whistles says:

        So you’re ‘ignorance of the law’ is your defence / excuse yet you were advised by a grossly overpaid NI Shyster who it is said advised you. Have ever had any ‘off the record’ (know wot I mean, nudge,nudge, wink, wink) chats with your NI Shysters and executives?

        Like

        • 151
          Blowing Whistles says:

          IMPOSTER! The real me took his Lithium today, ha! You have been exposed!

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Was that the heavy metal Lithium?

            Or the heavy metal Fluoride?

            Or Lithium Fluoride? Which is really heavy. In a parallel universe. Probably.

            Like

    • 260
      dAVE t says:

      I had a wank over her yesterday.

      Like

  29. 99
    Putin (in Private Eye) says:

    We want you to move your border away from our troops

    Like

    • 105
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Meic Sullivan-(of Tower Hamlets)gould fucking lying shyster but perhaps paid fees to produce 5hite and give the impression that Councils are open transparent and not run as Criminal enterprises.

      Like

    • 110
      Putin adviser says:

      Easier than having WWIII

      PS And the enemy seem to be surrendering without a fight at the moment

      Stranger and stranger

      Like

  30. 104
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Huh!

    You are all finished.

    I have cornered the merket in Fluoride.

    Like

    • 109
      Selective Memory Chip says:

      Pray tell why BW.

      Like

      • 111
        Blowing Whistles says:

        DYOR gould fucking lying shyster.

        Like

      • 119
        Selective Memory Chip says:

        Will Bw’s mother please wash her brat’s mouth out. With pure fluoride.

        Like

        • 148
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Yes actually I do kiss my mother with this mouth, and no my bloodline isn’t tracked down her side of the family and no I don’t keep her mummified remains in an armchair next to my bed. Only a gay person would do that.

          Like

        • 229
          jgm2 says:

          You want to kill him? By washing his mouth out with heavy metal? What kind of sick fucker are you?

          Like

    • 124
      Blowing Whistles says:

      IMPOSTER – you have been tracked and traced.

      Like

      • 129
        Blowing Whistles says:

        You cannot get at me whilst I possess the heavy metal fluoride, ha! I have taken a photograph of this.

        Like

        • 230
          jgm2 says:

          Does the heavy metal, Fluoride protect you from internet surveillance. Is it possible to buy tin-foil hats with Fluoride gloves?

          That way ‘they’ can’t fuck with your brainwaves or fuck with your internet presence.

          To Icketopia. And beyond.

          Like

  31. 114
    The Wild Colonial Boy says:

    You can’t excuse it, you can’t deny it. Bojo has lost his mojo!

    Like

    • 117
      Everyone in Chingford says:

      Boris lost his mojo years ago. These days the guy is just a lying streak of piss.

      Like

      • 123
        BOOOORING !!! says:

        ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

        Like

        • 133
          Everyone in Chingford says:

          It is boring. Having a twat called Boris turn up in a neighbourhood and campaign for mayor by specifically choosing to tell lies to people is very fucking boring. The arsehole chose a highly emotive local planning issue which affected thousands of people and went round Chingford and Walthamstow seeking votes on the basis that he was willing to solve it if elected.

          When the time came for him to do that, once elected, he did the exact opposite of what he’d promised. It is a fucking boring story of a fucking boring man. Just because it is boring does not mean that Boris’s lies have been either forgotten or forgiven.

          Like

        • 136
          Boris Johnson says:

          Thank fuck there were no scousers on that Malaysian flight MH 370, otherwise we would still be hearing about them in 2039!

          Like

    • 231
      Jack Duggan says:

      He gets our vote here in Castlemaine.

      Like

  32. 115
    Let's bomb Madrid instead of fighting over the Ukraine says:

    Spanish officials have stolen at least £1.5billion from the EU, ie, from British, German and other net cpontributory countries’ taxpayers.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/10770712/Spain-investigates-1.5bn-embezzlement-of-EU-funds.html

    Like

  33. 118
    'Dave' says:

    Vote BLUE and get a kind of greenish-snot-coloured-yellowish-baby-vomit-brown-stained-shit-coloured Coalition.

    Watt?

    Like

  34. 122
    The Pimp Blair says:

    We should bomb Ukraine

    NOW

    Give us a bung

    Like

  35. 131
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

    MORE FLIPS THAN A LABOUR MP.

    Like

    • 198
      Jealous, moi? says:

      Lying here with a sore back, one can only marvel at the exploits of that fit bendy fucker.

      Like

  36. 135
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    I’m signing off for the night now but another member of the team will be with you tomorrow to answer your questions :)

    Like

  37. 137
    Barreness Horseface of Private Plane (she’s the one who saved Ukraine) says:

    I have to admit I’m quite wet and slippery, – even quite engorged, – just thinking about how wonderfully well my inishtives have been taken by Mr Pootn.
    Only one thing to do! Think up some more!!

    Like

  38. 141
    Selective Memory Chip says:

    Channel four programme on How to get a Carncil Arse been on ten minutes and not one indigenous yet been shown. What was the point in shipping people in to just receive benefit money and breed more pressure for the future??

    Like

  39. 144
    White rabbit says:

    Whatever you do, don’t watch Channel 4 at the moment. You will completely do your fucking nut and have an immediate stroke. I had to rush screaming into the cold night and have partially recovered.

    Like

    • 147
      Michael Da Costa says:

      Yet again a black person (Foreign accent) EMPLOYED by the local authority deciding where an indigenous white poor person (female divorcee from someone in the armed forces) lives somewhere in London…or not in London.

      Like

      • 152
        Banana Republic Britain says:

        The programme is fucking remarkable in that ALL of ther housing decision makers/officers are of ethnic origin (the office shown has 100+ people)…yet all of the the people in the programme being relocated are white.

        Like

      • 161
        Stranger and stranger says:

        Black people being offered the best properties…offered them at way below the market prices.

        Like

    • 160
      White rabbit says:

      This is not a television programme. It’s an orchestrated mass psychiatric test, designed to provoke National hysteria. Well it’s fucking working.

      Like

      • 162
        Ch 4 how to get a council house says:

        Bitch on there turned down a property because she would be working to pay the bills

        That’s what we all do darling .

        Like

        • 167
          A Slut - it might Shyanne or Dwainette or some other fucking stupid name says:

          It’s an established career round here in Suffolk / Norfolk.

          Get some twat from London drunk – fuck you stupid –

          Certified preggars = flat / TV / carpet / cooker / sofa / bed / etc etc etc

          Job done

          THanks for that Gordo – was you wasn’t it?

          Like

    • 166
      The 'I told you so' sayer says:

      I told you so

      Like

      • 168
        Quote from the programme says:

        Now there’s a white man begging a black housing officer for accommodation.

        Like

        • 172
          nell says:

          London is being ethnically cleansed of the white English poor working class.

          Like

        • 173
          HM Her Majesty says:

          He has totally the wrong idea. He should be celebrating diversity, not begging for accommodation. What is wrong with my white subjects? Are they not happy in my kingdom?

          Like

        • 197
          Táxpáyér says:

          Did someone mention “Whip hand” a while ago and got roundly castigated?

          Like

      • 170
        Anonymous says:

        Is there anyone anyone at all that is white in any department in tower hamlets.

        Useless tub of lard saying the government is disgusting while admitting he was a drug addled alcoholic that put him where he is

        Fuck off

        Evey other sentence cuts to benefits good demolition job by ch4

        Like

  40. 155
    Ch 4 how to get a council house says:

    Channel 4 doing the benefits cuts thing. Its not my fault you dropped loads of sprigs got divorced and now try to make me pay for it as well as crying into the camera.Take responsibility for your own actions . FFS how many more do we have to pay benefits for?

    Now they have an 18 year old 2 kids WTF???

    I can’t afford to live in London working all the time so tough shit if you have to move outside the m25

    Fuck off already

    Like

    • 158
      se says:

      Where’s the dads

      Like

    • 176
      Mohammed says:

      Why should I work when you pay for my 11 kids?

      Don’t be too quick to denigrate your own creed.

      Like

    • 205
      sci-fright night will blight the light till infinte darkness reigns says:

      don’t worry a big old planet sized raging sizzle never seen since ancient times is less than 2 weeks away. you are almost certainly going to die in an extremely slow and painful manner but if you have any children under the age of 5 they might live. basically they will be shunted off to a camp, have a implant stuck in their brain and then abused mercilessly to sculpt them into forms of slaves required for the new world order.

      people like me for example have been warning you fuckers for well over 12 years that this is going to happen but all you have done is laugh. the only time you started to wake up was when your shitting wallet was getting out of pocket. myself and others did tell you about fractional reserve banking but you buried your head back in the sand aka you dug your own grave.

      if you do survive, and i doubt it if you are over the age of 5, you are going to see such horror you’ll probably kill yourself. in fact lots of people will probably kill themselves because the power are going to use the oh so special secret powers of mobile phone masts to fry your heads. and yeah those special powers won’t fry people under the age of fry because guess fucking what? certain parts of their brain have not yet developed… which is ideal to put the mark of the beast aka implant into them so that when those parts of the brain do start to develop the microchip integrates seamlessly. course you probably don’t believe in the notion of the mark of the beast because you’ve been conditioned to not believe in organized religion… apart from our towelhead friends who at the top are and have always been of the mazal tov persuasion.

      people who have had the implant since childhood (most of whom don’t actually realize) have been used to bring about the conditions to “get the party started” so to speak. don’t believe me? well if you happen to be a mp under the age of 50 reading this go and get yourself a private mri brain scan you might somewhat be surprised and still speaking to any potential m of p or spads or whatever don’t bother believing there is room in pindar for you… it ain’t gonna be that type of war. most of you will have served your purpose and you’ll be deaded just like almost everyone else on the planet.

      so congratulations all round for being a stupid bunch of narcissistic self absorbed greedy back stabbing shit stained excuses for subhumans. you act like animals and thus have been treated as such… and soon comes your slaughter.

      you were given every chance to get your shit together. you failed. spectacularly. my role you see is to be impartial. to give you a sporting chance. i was your get out clause. they are obliged to do that. and that obligation has been met. and how did you treat me? with the utmost contempt. think i give a fuck about you after all that shit you festered my way? nope! we shall enjoy your children, sucking their souls out and replacing them with ourselves. they’ll grow and spawn and then we’ll cull and the cycle will repeat forever. and for almost all of you dear readers the last you’ll know is insanity and the sight of an army of black spirals raining from the sky and the feeling of your body and soul vanishing from your feet upwards till there is nothing of you and none of you left.

      Like

      • 208
        BBC says:

        BBC

        Like

      • 210
        A Reader says:

        It sounds like you’ve been bottle fed on Nokia’s. Thank you for the heads up.

        Like

      • 211
        The Committee says:

        Thank you. We’ll call you if we need you.

        Next.

        Like

      • 218
        Blowing Whistles says:

        This poster is wise.

        Like

      • 234
        jgm2 says:

        Oh good. Only two weeks away.

        Thankfully that means in precisely two weeks and one day we won’t have to wade through copy’n’pasted screeds of utter shit from fuckwits whose idea of ‘sticking it to the man’ is to do away with capital letters. Because, ‘Cap it all’ is just social conditioning. Sheeple.

        FFS. At least if a fucking comet does hit us it’ll be less cruel than reading that horseshit.

        Like

  41. 157
    Ed Miliband says:

    My next bandwagon is the increasing number of food banks, and the recovery cannot be sustained long term. Will anyone be taken in?

    Like

    • 179
      Mr Nobody says:

      There’s just a hint of panic about Labour now, they’ve changed their line more times than Gordon Brown changed his mobile.

      Like

  42. 164
    A female Invoy from the UN fuckup brigade says:

    Britain is um . . . incredibly sexy . .. I’m overwhelmed by the testosterone . . . . head reels from it . . . . weak knees . . . . so want to lay on my back . . . open my thighs . . . grab any male what passes . . . pull him onto me . . . . or vv . . . . CoMoron is so . . . . . just my type . . . if he’s like that think of what the others must be like . . . head reeling . . . . can’t think straight . . . . can only hold pic of Prezza in front of me . . . .

    Like

  43. 169
    HM Her Majesty says:

    So. Has the Prime Minister sacked the Deputy Prime Mnister for the Cyril Smith cover-up yet?

    Like

    • 185
      Go home and prepare for cover up says:

      Has David Steel given an explanation for his inaction over the serial child abuser known to be active in his party for all those years yet ?

      Like

      • 189
        Jesus Wept says:

        Apparently, Cyril Smith told him it wasn’t true. And Steel took him at his word.

        Like

        • 200
          Turning a blind eye specialist says:

          Steel should be going home to his constituency and preparing for jail…

          Like

          • The Establishment says:

            Steele will be block booking his return BA EDI – LON flights in his favourite 1A seat like he has been for the past 30 years, wearing his trademark stripey shirts and white collar and cuffs. And the rest of you can go and fuck yourself.

            Like

  44. 171
    • 191
      The British media are cunts says:

      Bet she can manage to vote Labour though.

      Like

      • 199
        SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

        Most of us work for a living ,Labour voters vote for a living , no one of working age should be permitted to vote without first showing a P60.

        Like

  45. 174
    Fishy says:

    I notice the ‘effing corrupt biased cu’nts at the BBC are deliberately misrepresenting the improvements in the economy.

    ‘For the first time in 4 years’ they say that earnings are rising by more than inflation. Earlier they were forced to admit that the spike in wages that conveniently emerged immediately before the Brown election in 2010 was a statistical blip and that it is really 6 years since wages rose faster.

    But tonight on the Ten o’ Clock News, they have returned to their ‘4 year’ lie, this in line with the Balls / Foghorn line that Labour have been bleating all evening (no doubt under instruction from them).

    In fact earnings have been falling since 2002.

    The BBC are liars and cannot be trusted. They must be closed down.

    Like

    • 177
      Horses Hooves says:

      Vote UKIP.

      Our last chance of change by democratic means before the gloves come off and everything gets really very very fucking nasty.

      Like

      • 192
        Urethra Franklin says:

        Don’t bother saying that to Fishy, he’s a Tory mong.

        Like

        • 207
          Horse Hooves says:

          It’s the Tories who have to be told. They should be under no illusions whatsoever as to what could be unleashed if they continue to frustrate the nation’s will like they are doing at present.

          Like

  46. 178
    Yankee gone home says:

    “Fed Policies Have Made The Rich Much Richer”, Fed President Admits

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-04-16/fed-policies-have-made-rich-much-richer-fed-president-admits

    *FISHER SAYS FED POLICIES HAVE MADE THE RICH ‘MUCH RICHER’ (but…)
    *FISHER: UNCLEAR IF FED POLICIES WILL BENEFIT THE MIDDLE-CLASS

    Like

  47. 181
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    When she isn’t going on about her fem!nist bollocks she does have some good and insightful points and opinions. However… Harsh but fair:

    Like

    • 187
      Selective Memory Chip says:

      Once a barra boy, always a ….

      Lordy language? Not really.

      Like

    • 237
      The Establishment says:

      On this occasion Mr Sugar is bang on the money. Fuck off Mensch. Your sole contribution to British politics has been that of a dilettante. Jolly amusing for you and your CV but fuck all good for anybody else.

      Having been given a marginal but winnable seat you then proceeded to lose it to Labour just because you got bored with being an MP. Thus giving that utter gimp Miliband a bona fide ‘ Labour Gain’.

      Seriously.

      Fuck off.

      Like

      • 256
        Louises bucket list says:

        Her biggest contribution was to stage a mock ‘ I’m sorry I need to leave to pick up the children from School’ situation whilst taking part in a televised commons select committee. Transparent cow.

        Like

  48. 183
    The Boy Clegg says:

    I know nothing.

    Like

  49. 188
    Those killed at Hysell says:

    Name Age
    Rocco Acerra 29
    Bruno Balli 50
    Alfons Bos 35
    Giancarlo Bruschera 21
    Andrea Casula 11
    Giovanni Casula 44
    Nino Cerullo 24
    Willy Chielens 41
    Giuseppina Conti 17
    Dirk Daenecky 38
    Dionisio Fabbro 51
    Jacques François 45
    Eugenio Gagliano 35
    Francesco Galli 24
    Giancarlo Gonnelli 20
    Alberto Guarini 21
    Giovacchino Landini 50
    Roberto Lorentini 31
    Barbara Lusci 58
    Franco Martelli 22
    Loris Messore 28
    Gianni Mastroiaco 20
    Sergio Bastino Mazzino 38
    Luciano Rocco Papaluca 38
    Luigi Pidone 31
    Benito Pistolato 50
    Patrick Radcliffe 38
    Antonio Ragnanese 49
    Claude Robert  ?
    Mario Ronchi 43
    Domenico Russo 28
    Tarcisio Salvi 49
    Gianfranco Sarto 47
    Amedeo Giuseppe Spolaore 55
    Mario Spanu 41
    Tarcisio Venturin 23
    Jean Michel Walla 32
    Claudio Zavaroni 28

    Like

  50. 193
    The British media are cunts says:

    All you lot watching Channel 4 tonight can’t have been to London for a long time. You really don’t see or hear many white English people on the streets, that’s not an exaggeration.

    Like

  51. 196
    The people's republic of Scotch says:

    What the jockanese should do is occupy the public buildings, invite the cops and soldiers to defect and then challenge Dave via rolling news to come and take them by force..

    Like

  52. 212
    REALITY CHECK says:

    Like

    • 215
      The Unofficial History of the Voluntary Sector says:

      Foodbanks began much earlier than 2008- they were operating throughout the early part of the decade for the use of failed asylum seekers by NGOs trying to run their own immigration policy and undermine the voucher and S4 support system – and keep migrants in the UK who had no right to be here. 2008 wasn’t a reluctant response to a financial problem but a long hoped for opportunity for an existing ‘solution’ to gleefully find a purpose which could bring it into the mainstream and find new sources of fundraising opportunities.

      Like

  53. 214
    Time for something completely different says:

    Like

  54. 216
    The Tit in No. 10 says:

    I say you jolly chaps!!! In view of our forthcoming jolly super sweeping victory in the forthcoming EUSSR Elections I vote we give everyone a jolly windmill thingy they can wave in place of the Union Jack – so out of place – so out of date!!

    Watt???

    Like

  55. 235
    Fuckwit says:

    This place is attracting more and more folk who make me look quite rational by comparison.

    Like

    • 248
      Attila the Hen says:

      Don’t know why you say that. These pages are littered with references to Dante, Voltaire, Shakespeare, Tacitus and Heisenberg.

      It is hardly our host’s fault if the sweaty masses only want to talk about bumsex.

      Like

  56. 243
    Night Rider says:

    Here is the latest at 4:03 a.m. (someone’s gotta do it.)

    Zzzzzzz.

    Like

  57. 257
    Anonymous says:

    You know that embarrassing moment when the Oyster card doesn’t open the barriers?
    Well some examples are worth more than pearls.

    Like

  58. 261
    zitfixer says:

    bum sex dave is on praise be this morning.

    Like

  59. 262
    Jack Bauer says:

    This is actually a scene from the new 24 film. Mr Johnson kindly agreed to be an undercover CTU agent. An honour to work alongside him.

    Like


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