April 14th, 2014

Complaints About Complaints Report

complaints-report

The irony of the Public Administration Select Committee (PASC) download link to their report on complaint handling in the public sector being non-functioning made Guido smile. At the time of going to pixel it is still broken…

Guido has got hold of an embargoed copy. After looking at the NHS’s failings in particular the slaughter house that was the Mid Staffordshire NHS it concludes:

We recommend that the Cabinet Office introduce a single point of contact for citizens to make complaints about Government departments and agencies. This single point of contact should be active rather than passive in helping complainants navigate the systems and also to frame their complaints. An online solution is no doubt key, but the availability of meaningful human support at the end of a telephone for those who need it must be provided.

So we need an “OffComplaint”. A new quango to improve complaint handling at quangos and government agencies. That will not succeed in Guido’s view even though it may be the only way to register dissatisfaction with state monopolies. The best solution is always competition, consumers choosing to go elsewhere and taking their revenue with them is the only way to incentivise the driving up of standards. That requires a profit motive, something the Labour Party is dogmatically opposed to, even when it benefits users…


117 Comments

  1. 1
    BumBum Burnham says:

    I should be the “single point of contact” my record in regards to the NHS is second to none.

    Like

    • 4
      Mininister for culture, women, floods, diversity, global warming, windmills and homosexual weddings. says:

      I think Monty Python had the right idea with the ministry for silly walks.

      But little did they know that real life politicians would make even sillier ministries.

      Like

    • 17
      Rickytshirt says:

      I’d like you to be the single point of contact with my size 10 steel toe-cap boots.

      Like

      • 46
        Spartacus says:

        if it is anything like the banking ombudsman or the data protection ombudsman it will be a 100 page detailed questionnaire that you have to fill in taking weeks.

        they receive it and send you back (by return) a standard letter saying you don’t have a case. they then crow about how many cases they have dealt with last year

        Like

        • 56
          ab dull says:

          Ditto The Pensions Ombudsman, The Financial Ombudsman, The….

          But they love asking you to do a ten minute survey, it won’t take long!, asking how well they handled your complaint. Of course those who don’t are counted as successes and reported as a total 99.9% satisfaction rate. Everybody is pleased in the Elite.

          Like

          • Colonel Mustard says:

            The bigger question is: who will protect “honest” whistle blowers from being crucified while taking action against those making malicious complaints (c.g. Vichy France, informing on your neighbour so as to lay hands on his land or his wife).

            I recommend a “Standing Royal Commission”, chaired ex-officio by the Prince of Wales and staffed only by hereditary peers and lottery winners – i.e. no Government appointees.

            Like

          • Hairy Shitehouse says:

            Money talks… They should have to pay you every time you make a complaint, and then time and then pay you a fee per page of form, and a weekly rate for how long they drag it out for, then we won’t have to care what theur ultimate decision is either, and if they’re really shit, they’ll go bankrupt.

            Like

        • 60
          Hairy Shitehouse says:

          Money talks… They should have to pay you every time you make a complaint, and then time and then pay you a fee per page of form, and a weekly rate for how long they drag it out for, then we won’t have to care what theur ultimate decision is either, and if they’re really shit, they’ll go bankrupt.

          Like

    • 49
      Maximus says:

      I like Guido’s idea of competition. We could vote every 5 years for who’s government we would like to have in to run the country. Perhaps Abbott’s from Australia; or Merkel’s, or Hollande’s for the EU lovers. Risk/reward takers might prefer Vlad’s, and vegetarian’s Assad’s. The diversity crowd surely would be enriched by having Goodluck Jonathon’s from Nigeria. And of course there is sure to be a box where you could support Bibi’s. So what’s not to like?

      Like

      • 61
        Reality Cheque says:

        Abbots will be just dandy. Please can we have a man again? Wimp limp/labia/cons need not apply….go find a boyfriend.

        Like

      • 112
        it's a knockout says:

        Even better, have more than one government running the country at the same time, so you can choose which one applies to you when yiu feel like it.

        In fact we don’t really need MPs or governments at all, we can collectively run the country from online forums, and just click fir which policy we want, and change them several times a day.

        Like

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Your view is as much dogma and ideology and that which you are criticizing.
    Well run organisations respond well to complaints, badly run ones don’t. It doesn’t make a lot of difference whether they are public or private.

    Like

    • 19
      Bert says:

      I wish to complain about this overly righteous post by “Anonymous”, so-called. I switched on my computer this morning and loaded this web page only to be confronted (cont. p. 94).

      Like

    • 21
      M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Badly run private organisations fail; badly run public ones don’t. That makes all the difference.

      Like

      • 51
        Socialism is theft says:

        And that is something the left just can not grasp. They are just too thick to understand basic logic.

        Like

    • 113
      Anonynonce says:

      “Responding positively” to criticism is a world of difference from actually doing anything about it – like resigning, sacking, pressing charges, and just not doing things shitly in the first place.

      Like

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    What happened to the bonfire of the quangos we were promised?

    Like

    • 22
      Civil Servant says:

      Firstly if you want to build a bonfire you obviously need a bonfire committee.
      Then a bonfire steering committee to oversee the bonfire committee…oh it’s very complicated,here have a balloon to play with.

      Like

    • 114
      St. Peter's old boy says:

      We tried that in 1605, but some f@ggot grassed us up.

      Like

  4. 5
    • 20
      The Beast from 5000 Fathoms says:

      You are a statist stooge and should be at work on behalf of the taxpayer, not trolling on blogs like this here one. Your masters threaten me with prison if I don’t pay your wages, you evil little cnut.

      Like

    • 23

      “at the time of going to pixel”.

      You didn’t think very hard.

      Like

    • 52
      Ministry Of Cover Ups says:

      Dear PASC

      We’d like to complain.

      We are angry that the names of p’erverts and p’aedos in Westminster are being revealed.

      Please stop this happening. It’s our secret.

      Regards

      Clogg, Moribund and Cammyknicker

      Like

  5. 6
    Charles Dickens says:

    The Circumlocution Office was (as everybody knows without being told) the most important Department under Government. No public business of any kind could possibly be done at any time without the acquiescence of the Circumlocution Office. Its finger was in the largest public pie, and in the smallest public tart. It was equally impossible to do the plainest right and to undo the plainest wrong without the express authority of the Circumlocution Office. If another Gunpowder Plot had been discovered half an hour before the lighting of the match, nobody would have been justified in saving the parliament until there had been half a score of boards, half a bushel of minutes, several sacks of official memoranda, and a family-vault full of ungrammatical correspondence, on the part of the Circumlocution Office.

    This glorious establishment had been early in the field, when the one sublime principle involving the difficult art of governing a country, was first distinctly revealed to statesmen. It had been foremost to study that bright revelation and to carry its shining influence through the whole of the official proceedings. Whatever was required to be done, the Circumlocution Office was beforehand with all the public departments in the art of perceiving — HOW NOT TO DO IT.

    Through this delicate perception, through the tact with which it invariably seized it, and through the genius with which it always acted on it, the Circumlocution Office had risen to overtop all the public departments; and the public condition had risen to be — what it was.

    It is true that How not to do it was the great study and object of all public departments and professional politicians all round the Circumlocution Office. It is true that every new premier and every new government, coming in because they had upheld a certain thing as necessary to be done, were no sooner come in than they applied their utmost faculties to discovering How not to do it. It is true that from the moment when a general election was over, every returned man who had been raving on hustings because it hadn’t been done, and who had been asking the friends of the honourable gentleman in the opposite interest on pain of impeachment to tell him why it hadn’t been done, and who had been asserting that it must be done, and who had been pledging himself that it should be done, began to devise, How it was not to be done. It is true that the debates of both Houses of Parliament the whole session through, uniformly tended to the protracted deliberation, How not to do it. It is true that the royal speech at the opening of such session virtually said, My lords and gentlemen, you have a considerable stroke of work to do, and you will please to retire to your respective chambers, and discuss, How not to do it. It is true that the royal speech, at the close of such session, virtually said, My lords and gentlemen, you have through several laborious months been considering with great loyalty and patriotism, How not to do it, and you have found out; and with the blessing of Providence upon the harvest (natural, not political), I now dismiss you. All this is true, but the Circumlocution Office went beyond it.

    Because the Circumlocution Office went on mechanically, every day, keeping this wonderful, all-sufficient wheel of statesmanship, How not to do it, in motion. Because the Circumlocution Office was down upon any ill-advised public servant who was going to do it, or who appeared to be by any surprising accident in remote danger of doing it, with a minute, and a memorandum, and a letter of instructions that extinguished him. It was this spirit of national efficiency in the Circumlocution Office that had gradually led to its having something to do with everything. Mechanicians, natural philosophers, soldiers, sailors, petitioners, memorialists, people with grievances, people who wanted to prevent grievances, people who wanted to redress grievances, jobbing people, jobbed people, people who couldn’t get rewarded for merit, and people who couldn’t get punished for demerit, were all indiscriminately tucked up under the foolscap paper of the Circumlocution Office.

    Numbers of people were lost in the Circumlocution Office. Unfortunates with wrongs, or with projects for the general welfare (and they had better have had wrongs at first, than have taken that bitter English recipe for certainly getting them), who in slow lapse of time and agony had passed safely through other public departments; who, according to rule, had been bullied in this, over-reached by that, and evaded by the other; got referred at last to the Circumlocution Office, and never reappeared in the light of day. Boards sat upon them, secretaries minuted upon them, commissioners gabbled about them, clerks registered, entered, checked, and ticked them off, and they melted away. In short, all the business of the country went through the Circumlocution Office, except the business that never came out of it; and its name was Legion.

    Sometimes, angry spirits attacked the Circumlocution Office. Sometimes, parliamentary questions were asked about it, and even parliamentary motions made or threatened about it by demagogues so low and ignorant as to hold that the real recipe of government was, How to do it. Then would the noble lord, or right honourable gentleman, in whose department it was to defend the Circumlocution Office, put an orange in his pocket, and make a regular field-day of the occasion. Then would he come down to that house with a slap upon the table, and meet the honourable gentleman foot to foot. Then would he be there to tell that honourable gentleman that the Circumlocution Office not only was blameless in this matter, but was commendable in this matter, was extollable to the skies in this matter. Then would he be there to tell that honourable gentleman that, although the Circumlocution Office was invariably right and wholly right, it never was so right as in this matter. Then would he be there to tell that honourable gentleman that it would have been more to his honour, more to his credit, more to his good taste, more to his good sense, more to half the dictionary of commonplaces, if he had left the Circumlocution Office alone, and never approached this matter. Then would he keep one eye upon a coach or crammer from the Circumlocution Office sitting below the bar, and smash the honourable gentleman with the Circumlocution Office account of this matter. And although one of two things always happened; namely, either that the Circumlocution Office had nothing to say and said it, or that it had something to say of which the noble lord, or right honourable gentleman, blundered one half and forgot the other; the Circumlocution Office was always voted immaculate by an accommodating majority.
    Such a nursery of statesmen had the Department become in virtue of a long career of this nature, that several solemn lords had attained the reputation of being quite unearthly prodigies of business, solely from having practised, How not to do it, as the head of the Circumlocution Office. As to the minor priests and acolytes of that temple, the result of all this was that they stood divided into two classes, and, down to the junior messenger, either believed in the Circumlocution Office as a heaven-born institution that had an absolute right to do whatever it liked; or took refuge in total infidelity, and considered it a flagrant nuisance.

    Like

    • 8
      Little Dorrit says:

      Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Like

    • 12
      Oliver says:

      Please sir, can I have less?

      Like

    • 44
      Blowing Whistles says:

      i don’t know which is worse that (above) or a nuke fest to fro chat between ‘Cobar 7 somethin’ and SC on a sat 7 or sunday blog ………….. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Like

      • 70
        Nemesis. says:

        Immediate turn-off to reading this because of its length so what’s the point Charles Dickens?

        Like

        • 72
          White Dee says:

          Something about circumcision I fink

          Like

        • 78
          Charles Dickens hisself says:

          i sympathise – but the real cd was lampooning the flatulent fog that meets anyone who dare question the incompetence and madness of ‘government’

          Like

        • 80
          A typical civil service briefing paper says:

          The concise succintity of your note will ensure your promotion some time between now and 2050.

          It is my succinct view that you have been reading the How not to do it book by Gording Braun who was the sine qua non of doing this all arse about face and finding the most complicated solyushuns to the simplest of problems.

          Like

      • 79
        Charles Dickens says:

        a translation into english please?

        Like

      • 100
        Mars Attacks says:

        Any post by Blowing Whistles.

        He’s just a tw4t, and it doesn’t matter how many times he’s told, he keeps using a 5 year old’s logic and argument.
        Tw4t.

        Like

  6. 7
    Potato salad says:

    Discontinue jobs worth public pension union organised half wits idling through work times leaving on the dot and not giving a stuff.

    Indian call centres, like a Sky Email, show how you can pretend, still do nothing and pay very little for it.

    One cannot even complain about refuse non collection without a Stasi style form asking everything about you, for other purposes of course.

    Like

  7. 9
    Little Dorrit says:

    Gayers in city centre flats have a very disapproving view of everybody except their own bum chums. Quite disgusted at breathing the same air. They have a high propensity to complain and are nasty bitching evil spirits.

    Like

  8. 10
    Irritable Sod says:

    Recently tried to get hold of OfComm.

    They didn’t answer the phone!

    Like

    • 74
      GCHQ Listener says:

      That’s correct, they didn’t.

      We diverted your call to one of our dead-end terminals.

      Like

      • 109
        Irritable Sod says:

        Even better, you have to write a *letter* to them. No obvious email address to use either.

        Just brilliant: in the 21st century and they want an effing letter…

        Like

  9. 11
    Scrap the Lords? Scrap the Commons as well says:

    When are our MP’s going to realise that they are now just glorified councillor’s in a provincial council.
    Making laws and thus being assumed to be trusted not to break them.
    Those days are over.
    Their power is ebbing away fast to Brussels and so should the privilege’s that went with wielding that power.
    Politicians love change,well let’s drop the title ‘member of parliament’ shall we.
    Call them DC’s (district councillor) instead.

    Like

    • 14
      Fed Up says:

      The British government doesn’t work. It is time to shut it all down and start again.

      Like

    • 29
      Village Idiot says:

      …..Re “The British Social Attitudes Survey”,……personally,i was proud of the country I was born in,and,that continued for many years,but I am far from proud of the country I live in today!…..In fact,the country I was born in no longer exists,and the one I live in is a mess in many,many ways…..I want my country back!

      …..The blame,in my opinion,lays fully at the political elite,who have governed for themselves and not for Britain over many years!

      Like

      • 36
        Little Dorrit says:

        Idiot, the metro Elite know their time is up. They do not like what they see. Fortunately open blogs like this have allowed the people to awaken and open their eyes. There are many more seeing the huge Dishonesty foisted upon us, expenses and gayer behaviour are just the latest manifests.

        Now we have a ‘man’ who sat in office as a Deputy Speaker who thinks he should have his defence costs paid from public funds while displaying the most shocking behaviour possible. If the leader of his party had a shred of decency he would throw him out today.

        Like

        • 53
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Please do not forget that the troughing politicians would not be there if it had not been for their being covered by the corrupted Legal fraternity. When judges speak out and say they are independent of the government … think about that …

          i.e. No real proper convictions via the legal processes against the elite politicals … oh and their cohorts in the msm.

          Like

    • 108
      Anonymous says:

      ALL POWER TO THE PEOPLE’S COUNCILS!

      Is not that a just little left-wing for folks on this site?

      Like

  10. 13

    There’s a fairly effective way of getting complaints dealt with in the public sector.
    Shoot random officials.
    More use should be made of it.

    Like

  11. 18
    Diana Abbott says:

    I would say my best feature is my butt cause it sure aint my face.

    Like

  12. 30
    nell says:

    It’s all hot air – nothing will change. Anyone who has ever complained about care and treatment in the NHS that is often well below an acceptable standard know that the generously paid managers who ‘investigate’ simply cover up and write bland letters back to the complainant that say nothing.

    Like

    • 35
      ConLibLabbers says:

      The NHS is the envy of the whole world.

      Like

      • 41
        C.O.Jones says:

        No, not the whole world, the third world.

        Like

        • 47
          ab dull says:

          We like. Your shn when we come off plane in the night from is lam is bad, we have ambulance for old uncle on tarmac, we told ambulance there every night anyway as it happens all time. Thanking all taxipayers, but we still hate you.

          Like

      • 45
        nell says:

        that’s one of labour’s delusions.

        Like

    • 40
      Little Dorrit says:

      For asking Patient Care to arrange an essential appointment for my return from holiday in February I was ‘transferred’ to another clinic. Had I not had such temerity I would still be waiting for this event.

      Like

  13. 31
    2 foot rat frightens the residents says:

    I thought Bercow was taller ?

    Like

  14. 32
    Couch Spud says:

    All that training I didn’t do so as not to run in the London marathon has paid off again this year.
    Too the max.

    Like

  15. 33
    Bob Crow says:

    Suckers. You’ve all been told that complaints are now “abuse”, and comrades have been programmed not to tolerate “abuse”. They put up signs in hospitals, carncil offices and all public buildings, so people are frit of complaining and the bruvvers can sit abart all day with their fingers up their a*ses and their minds in neutral, get paid loads and not get complained abart. UP THE WORKERS!

    Like

  16. 43
    Grant"The Cheeky Chappie" Shapps says:

    I remember 25 years ago when Liverpool were the world champions at Squash and Fencing.

    Like

  17. 48
    P l e b says:

    Lord Snooty is chillaxing in Teguise, Lanzarote, at the moment.

    He’s all in it together.

    Like

  18. 54
    C.O.Jones says:

    Go to any doctors surgery in the UK and the waiting room will be full of people who are timewasters. These are the people that clog up the whole system and make constant visits to their GP’s with fabricated illnesses or lifestyle issues.

    A small fee of say £10 a visit will sort all this nonsense out.

    Like

    • 66
      Bed St@1nes says:

      Thereby cut workloads, then pay. Use the savings to CUT prescription charges. Sorted.

      Like

    • 68
      Taxpayer says:

      Doctors should just do their fucking jobs and stop whinging. They are already well enough paid.

      Like

    • 81
      Trust me,I'm a surgeon says:

      After a massive outcry by the bedwetters the small £10 fee would end up only being applied to working taxpayers.
      So on top of having to wait behind a room full of wasters it would cost you £10 to do it where they pay fuck all.
      A scheme guaranteed to boil your piss and do some bladder damage.

      Like

      • 93
        C.O.Jones says:

        Well, that is the problem in this country, in a nutshell.

        A new class of people have been created and they have a sense of entitlement that goes beyond all reasonable expectations. So long as someone else pays for it.

        Like

        • 105
          Scouse Mouse says:

          …called the Labour Party.

          Like

        • 107
          Anonymous says:

          Having benefited from the quick sell-off of their Post Office shares, it is little wonder that City Bankers have a false sense of entitlement. And yet folks here don’t seem to care about the greedy bankers living off state. Or that line-of-attack only reserved for the disabled and unemployed?

          Like

          • Mars Attacks! says:

            Don’t lump in being disabled with being unemployed would help for a start

            Like

          • Mark Easton is the Messiah! says:

            Most of the people who work in the public sector seem pretty disabled to me.

            Like

          • Mars Attacks! says:

            Yeah, but so would you be if your deficiencies of stupidity, low IQ and lazy thinking were recognised disabilities. :)

            Like

    • 98
      A Modest Proposal says:

      Reserve appointments before 11am and after 3pm for people who have full-time jobs or who are self-employed.

      Like

  19. 55
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Eleven other men some still possibly alive ‘friends’ of Curil Smiths … now who could they be?

    i bet the political circle of journos in sexminster all know the names but it’s their little secret innit?

    Like

    • 67
      gmpoleece says:

      Don’t ask us. We have knighthoods to await and domestic detritus to sort and utilise as crime successes. Then we go to the canteen.

      Like

  20. 57
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The left have Common Purpose the right have the craft – in the middle are the public who have been robbed and thieved from by both the left and the right. Robbed in many cases of justice.

    Like

    • 63
      C.O.Jones says:

      Too true. A lifetime of being defrauded by excessive taxation and dodgey business practices – something for everyone to look forward to.

      Like

    • 68
      gmpoleece says:

      Move along sonny, nothing to see here.

      Like

      • 75
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Indeed gimp as many a bewigged bastard would say “I cannot see …” while he damned well knowingly knows what he is blind to.

        Like

        • 88
          Bow Street runner says:

          They say justice is blind – but I had not realised it was stupid and crooked at the same time. I do now though!

          Like

  21. 57
    Bosun Higgs says:

    1. I complain to OffMoan about the Department of Bubbleblowing.
    2. OffMoan sends me a standard acknowledgement.
    3. OffMoan sits on the complaint for a bit, because of high demand, staff shortages, Mercury rising in Gemini etc.
    4. OffMoan sends the complaint to the Department of Bubbleblowing.
    5. The Department of Bubbleblowing sits on it for a bit.
    6. The DoB replies, saying that it’s not their fault; they rely on information from the Ministry of Kiteflying.
    7. OffMoan sits on this reply for quite a long time.
    8. OffMoan rewrites the complaint and sends it to the Ministry of Kiteflying.
    9. The Ministry of Kiteflying sits on it for a really long time.
    10. The MoK replies, stating that it is bound by EU regulations and recommending their web page http://www.MoK.gov.uk/bubbles&you
    11. OffMoan sits on their reply for an extremely long time…….

    Like

    • 62
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Hey there Bo H … you ever tried the bank.ing Ombudsman … i waited over “A YEAR” for them to determine that i should pay briclays a grand … mind you walter merricks then got a fax telling him to fuck right off.

      Like

    • 64
      Anonymous says:

      I no longer bother to complain I just withdraw my services.
      The less I do the less tax I pay.

      Like

  22. 76
    Polar fleece says:

    Sierra Leone athlete who finished 20th in London Marathon disappears before flight home
    Mami Konneh Lahun, 24, was last seen after finishing 26.2 mile course
    Scotland Yard says she is due to fly back to Sierra Leone today

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2604086/Sierra-Leone-athlete-finished-20th-London-Marathon-disappears-flight-home.html#ixzz2yr1mNU3I
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    Like

  23. 87
    Typical commenter here obsessed with gay sex says:

    Bumsex bumsex bumsex!

    Like

  24. 89
  25. 96
    albacore says:

    The main complaint we’ve got is in a sick Parliament
    For, whoever it works for, it ain’t us, it’s that bent
    Maybe UKIP can put it out of our misery
    And free Great Britain from the stink of its treachery

    Like

    • 106
      Don't give a shit about UKRAP, Liebore or the limp dumbs says:

      Yeah, UKIP and the Barclay twins – the dream fucking team.

      Good luck with that particular delusion.

      Like


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cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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