April 7th, 2014

End of the Jonah Jinx?

Has the curse of Jonah finally been broken?

Gordon Brown was present yesterday when his beloved Raith Rovers beat Rangers 1:0 to win the Ramdens Cup.

He even cracked a smile…

Gordon has always taken a keen interest in Raith Rovers, going as far as to negotiate the sale of players in a pub car back while he was the Chancellor. According to Damian McBride:

What spare time Gordon had up in Scotland he poured into not just supporting his beloved Raith Rovers, but pulling strings behind the scenes at the club, sometimes becoming a bit too involved. I rang him in October 2006 and said I’d had a call from a Scottish journalist who’d heard the bizarre rumour that Gordon was seen in a pub car park in Kirkcaldy after midnight apparently negotiating contract terms with Trinidad international Marvin Andrews. Gordon was silent, then said: ‘Have they got photos?’

Finally the long curse that has blighted sports teams, markets, aeroplanes, banks, companies, governments and nations looks to be lifted. If the curse of the one-eyed son of the manse has been lifted, we hope Gordon’s tormented soul will lighten too…


  1. 1
    Gordo says:

    Trinidadian Black Cocks.. Hmmm

  2. 2
    Grumpy old man says:

    It’s just a break in the monsoon. The curse will resume shortly.

  3. 3
    The Dunce Of Downing Street has grown a pair at last says:

    David Cameron ‏@David_Cameron 27s

    Talking to Ange at @Asda, a company announcing 12,000 new jobs and helping show our #LongTermEconomicPlan is working,and then off to give Maria Miller the sack.

  4. 4
    Is IDS deluded says:

    Is I D Smith suffering from delusions of grandeau like the above G Brown?

  5. 5
    Rickytshirt says:

    The exception that proves the rule.

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    The other day I did a magic jobbie. Nursie says it’s wrong to play with mah poohs, and that jobbies cannae be magic, but what does she know? She’s another one of those bigoted women.

    Anyway, I smuggled my great big magic jobbie past Nursie by putting it in mah dressing-gown pocket and then put mah hands in mah pockets. It wis just like the wee trick I played with the empty tinnies, a brick and a carrier bag when I was a student, and it proves how clever I am and a’ that.

    I played with the magic jobbie for hoors and hoors, making wishes and chatting away tae him until he went all melty and Nursie caught me and made me have a shower to get all the magic off mah face and hands and out of mah hair, but Nursie disnae understand that it was me who saved the world, with a wee bit of help from mah magic jobbie!

    If I sniff really hard I can tell I’ve got some of the magic still under mah fingernails…. I love that smell, it’s the smell of mah cleverness and moral compass and Socialist principles all rolled into one. Magic!

  7. 7
    Real List says:

    Raith could go into administration next week, be penalised 15 points and thrown out of the league.

  8. 8
    Ed Miliband says:

    Labour’s Sheila Gilmore MP writes to standards committee chair to complain over Maria Miller’s Commons apology:


  9. 9
    C.O.Jones says:

    The Ramsden Cup, what’s that?

  10. 10
    Toxic Tories for Landowning Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Traitors, Peedos, & other Wasters says:

    Duncan Smith “It’s a witch hunt”. A bit fucking rich coming from the man that has led the witch hunt against the sick and disabled.

    Rotten to the core the lot of them.

  11. 11
    Toxic Tories for Landowning Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Traitors, Peedos, & other Wasters says:

    Iain Duncan Smith – making Maria Miller look like a saint.

  12. 12
    Scotch fries says:

    The Ramsdens cup. Do they fry the team a mars bar each?

  13. 13
    Grumpy old man says:

    IDS led the witching against the shirkers and layabouts. Is working 5 days a week to much for you now?

  14. 14
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    It’s for chip eating

  15. 15
    A Reader says:

    Guess Miller hasn’t resigned yet.

    Has Cameron finished crying in the toilet yet ? Or is he on his second bog roll ?

  16. 16
    C.O.Jones says:

    Later this week will be the news headlines 30,000 people in the Raith area die from ebola fever, local health authority searching for carrier.

  17. 17
    Toxic Tories for Landowning Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Traitors, Peedos, & other Wasters says:

    With terminal cancer, it is, actually.

    Good of you to ask though.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    old git, does your world have a negative unemployment rate?

  19. 19
    Toxic Tories for Landowning Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Traitors, Peedos, & other Wasters says:

    I’m really happy this story didn’t ‘die’ over the weekend.

    I want to see just how red Dave goes this PMQ’s

  20. 20
    C.O.Jones says:

    Terminal cancer does not stop you from working, lazy git.

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Kebab News says:

    Esther Mcvey, Priti Patel and Liz Truss tipped as poss Miller replacements in cabinet by @IsabelHardman and @helenlewis

    Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…

  23. 23
    Wraith Rovers says:

    The jonah curse usually takes a day or two at least to kick in.

  24. 24
    Grant's Tory Bingo says:

    There must be more to this than Cameron’s idiocy or desperation to hold on to a female. A party donor, perhaps? Could there be even more corruption here?

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    How apt for a Man perfectly in balance, only due to the Chip on both shoulders.

  26. 26
    Perfect timing says:

    And today IDS is to announce plans to punish welfare cheats with higher fines and the loss of their homes. What more can you say?

  27. 27
    Esther says:

    IDS for PM

  28. 28
    M Mouse says:

    Is this the non cup in the non league

  29. 29
    David Coleman says:

    They’ll be celebrating in the Streets of Raith tonight. One-nil. Quite extraordinary

  30. 30
    Mongolia Watch says:

    When the scotch vote out they can keep their little news to theirselves, och.

  31. 31
    Kebab TV says:

  32. 32
    Dave the Dunce says:

    “I am the crisis that will leave you homeless,
    The heart attack you have through stress,
    The reason the hospital you need is closed,
    The prescription you cannot afford,
    The food shopping you cannot buy,
    The reason you feel ashamed to be disabled,
    The reason you no longer have a job,
    I am the reason you are called a scrounger,
    I am David Cameron,
    This is the Tory Party,
    We are your crisis,
    And we don’t care who or what you are

  33. 33
    Mongoli@ Watch says:

    Do anal pro lapses require trusses?

    If so Liz must be a shoe in for the bender job.

  34. 34
    Mongoli@ Watch says:

    Gay ‘therapy’ has no place in the NHS, says health minister as he warns doctors are referring people for treatment to change their sexuality

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2598446/Gay-therapy-no-place-NHS-says-health-minister-warns-doctors-referring-people-treatment-change-sexuality.html#ixzz2yC9f1xjF
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    More bias towards the men in frocks brigade, Cameron sort this out now.

  35. 35
    Mongoli@ r Us says:

    We used to be his favourite group. Just because of a little change in school governors and the great Religion is it, Pob doesn’t seem to mind.

  36. 36
    A Landowning Sponger says:

    I’m still waaay fucking richer than you, you fucking ignorant Lefty cünt.

  37. 37

    I am the crisis that will house immigrants over indigenous people
    I am the crisis that overspent Billions of pounds to idle chav scroungers
    I am the crisis that got involved in useless wars
    Iam the crisis who gave away our gold reserves
    Iam BLAIR
    Iam the crisis who did fuck all about it

  38. 38
    A Landowning Sponger says:

    “Oh, look! Look at the Lefty”.

    The Lefty shambles towards the car, mouth open, drooling & slack-jawed. He stops, mystified- it’s a lovely new BMW 5-series and onboard are five well-groomed and intelligent individuals. None of them are Lefties.

    The Lefty is disturbed- deep within his retilian hind-brain, something is troubling him. Is it that itch? He shoves his hand down the back of his trousers to scratch that pesky perineum, then has a sniff of the finger…. no, that’s clearly not it.

    It’s something else. Something about… the car? The people in the car…. yes,yes, it’s the people in the car! They’re successful! They’re wealthy! They’re not- wait for it- they’re not Lefties!

    And so the Lefty’s rage explodes deep inside him and he responds in the only way he knows; with a guttural roar born of jealousy and resentment and sheer blind class envy and prejudice he utters the immortal words: “Fucking Tory cüuunnnntttsss! It’s all Thatcher’s fault! Tories are eeevvvillll!”

    “Ha, ha ha!” go the nice people in the lovely car.

  39. 39

    The strange desire to masturbate into another mans rectum is surely a certifiable condition!

  40. 40
    Barrraco Barna says:

    Is that Gordon Brown doing the infamous Quenelle gesture?

  41. 41
    kodak says:

    have they got digital photos?

  42. 42
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Once a toxic turd, always a toxic turd.

  43. 43
    Genghiz McKahn says:

    Brown really a Gers supporter, but he keeps it quiet just to gain votes from The Greens.

  44. 44
    Sue must have done it says:

    Guido notes: “Finally the long curse that has blighted sports teams, markets, aeroplanes, banks, companies, governments and nations looks to be lifted”.

    But that was the case when he announced he’s saved the world, surely?

    Maybe though, it only kicked in when he told the media he was now only a former politician.

  45. 45
    Departure Lounge says:

    Pretty sure posting on this site wouldn’t be on my bucket list.

  46. 46
    Jack the Ripper says:

    Raith should certainly check their player staff to see if Gordon sold the reserves.

  47. 47
    ned ludd says:

    Lol. You are one sick, but very inventive, person. I am still laughing.

  48. 48
    Heathcliff Brown says:

    ” we hope Gordon’s tormented
    soul will lighten too…”

    Nelly! I am Sarah!

  49. 49
    The Duty Pedant says:

    “Shoo-in” NOT “shoe-in”, for the umpteenth time, for fuck’s sake!

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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