April 4th, 2014

Kim Jong Ed

Steve Richards has written in the New Statesman about the mood of paranoia and suspicion around Ed Miliband. His fearfully supportive team resembles the North Korean inner circle daring not to offer even constructive criticism of their dear leader:

“Miliband’s staff are loyal to him personally but in their determined or fearful supportiveness there is little space for critical candour. Nearly all those who work for Miliband are dependent on his patronage. He chose them and they are pleased to be close to him. They do not want to say things that he does not want to hear. The contrast with Tony Blair’s office is marked. Blair had to plead with Alastair Campbell to join him, going out to see him while Campbell was on holiday in France as part of the energetic wooing process. Campbell could be brutally candid because he knew Blair wanted him so much. Other advisers, such as Peter Mandelson, had been senior to Blair in the 1980s. They, too, could be ruthlessly or constructively critical, sometimes both. This does not happen very much in Miliband’s office; indeed, the opposite can happen. I am told that sometimes his staff applaud him when he returns from making a mediocre speech.”

Shame he doesn’t have the cult of personality to go with it…


  1. 1
    Gooey Blob says:

    Madness. How did he ever become leader?


    • 3
      The smart money says:



      • 40
        Speech from the Dear Leader Red Edward says:


        As your Dear Leader, I commend myself for my wonderfulness. All my enemies will pay dearly – including Twitter, You Tube, the Labour Party, Dan Hodges. They are papertiger, revisionist running dogs all destined for the dustbin of history….or err, the gulags.

        Bring me my Red Princes. My Hollandaise Economics textbooks, my sainted Polly Toynbee, my BBC-Izvestia, my little read book – the Guardian – of Progressive Truth and Virtue beyond Question (including overseas investments inc).

        I commend to you the enemies of imperialism – Senor Madura, Vlad Putin, the Mad Mullahs and of course my mentor…..Saint Gordon of the Brown Stuff.

        My time has come. As it will for my dear Uncle. Len.


    • 4
      Len McLusky says:

      Unions, innit. He’s our creature now. Bwa-ha-ha-ha.


      • 45
        Bill Quango MP says:

        You’ll be very sorry when the little worm turns and feeds you to the guard dogs.


      • 130
        Diane Fatbigott says:

        Booyaka! Booyaka! Did you see the Brillo Show? We were talking about the obese lower classes. I showed off my two enormous stomachs but I got away with it. I sent my son to that finishing school and all that white racism stuff! Yeah! The Beeb pays me a grand for an hour’s drivelling and the licence payer funds my cab fare. No-one can say a word against ME – I always get away with it coz I is black, innit!


    • 7
      I voted for the best mover says:

      He can dance. That what persuaded our committee members.


    • 8
      jimboooo says:

      If you want to see what “scared” looks like then check out Dan Twat Hodges’ latest rant in the telegraph. Oh how that might paper has fallen. He is now going absolutely mental, one anti-Nigel piece per day, each less serious and more poorly written that the last – I say it’s at least 50/50 that he is actually foaming at the mouth as he types now. He is, like the whole establishment, terrified out of his tiny mind.


      • 14
        Bill Quango MP says:

        Is Dan unaware of who his readers are? The Telegraph has taken over from the Express as the UKIP supporters club.

        Still, he does do a really good Miliband put down piece at least once a week.


        • 36
          jimboooo says:

          Thing is he’s just there as click-bait now, the more smug and sanctimonious he seems the more people log in to tell him to fuck off the more clicks the telegraph gets. Hodges isn’t stupid, he’s out of touch and unrealistic a bit like Chivers when he writes about politics, but newspapers now just want clicks. Why does Owen Jones have a well-paid job? Why can Toynbee keep going? They bring in the readers ready to tell them to fuck off.


          • Bill Quango MP says:

            I suppose so.
            But if they really wanted to get the clicks going they could sign Brown up and get 50 million hits a day as the nation reminds him of his popularity.


          • Princess Po-face Polytwaddle, leaning out of her Ivory Tower, talking down to Common People below says:

            I am always Right!

            I am never wrong!

            And the Common People, together with all Progressive SoSo-Cialists love and honour me as the one person who holds their lives together, – who brings hope, – nay, – supreme confidence, – in the Saving Power of Socialism as prescribed and described by myself, – the Supreme Voice of Hand-Wringing disgustingly rich Socialist Wimmin.

            And furthermore, Gordon, – for whom I have the softest, most yielding place in my parts, – understood and valued me. His voice! His speech! His rictus tick! Dear Gordo! I’m coming o . . . . . . .


      • 34
        USP says:

        While people are vaguely interested in the threat of Ed, Dan has a job. When Ed is irrelevant, Dan Hodges will be shown the door. And he knows it.


      • 73
        Dan Hodges, programmed liar says:

        This is Dan Hodges at his best



        The most accurate reporter in Britain…


      • 143
        Colin the Meek says:

        Have a look at Hodges, Graeme Archer and Tom Chivers Twatter pages. It’s a circle jerk, each congratulating the other on how marvellous and clever they are, all the while sneering at their readers (ie customers).

        It is absolutely unreal that these pricks are still in employment. Any other industry…


    • 9
      Bouff Ant says:

      Have all his minions got to get an Ed haircut?


      • 11
        Eagle Brothers says:

        We are combing and dyeing and washing and cutting to fit in at the top.


      • 33
        Albert Ross says:

        You have to train an albatross to sit on your head to get that freshly-shat upon look that Ed carries off so well…


    • 29
      kim jong thingee says:

      you say:

      ‘Shame he doesn’t have the cult of personality to go with it…’

      surely your quote has just described it – its something for a person who doesn’t have a personality


    • 61
      Grumpy old man says:

      “Shame he doesn’t have the cult of personality to go with it…”
      “Shame he doesn’t have a personality to go with the cult””

      their. fixed it for you.


    • 94
      The Growler says:

      “The contrast with Tony Blair’s office is marked. Blair had to plead with Alastair Campbell to join him” well would you like to go out with B’Liar, how revolting Fawkes, of course B’Liar would plead for his trusted side kick you don’t think he wanted Brown and Co. Surely Teddy understands when those about him are being sycophantic


    • 99
      Gooey Blob says:

      I know this is unkind, but Ed Miliband always reminds me of Beaker from The Muppet Show.


      • 120
        The Singing Oyster says:

        Have a look at the responses on Ed’s twitter page.
        He reminds others of Beaker as well.


      • 156
        Lou Scannon says:

        You’re right. What did Beaker ever do to hurt anyone ? He should sue Vacant Ned for tarnishing his reputation.


    • 165
      In A Flap says:

      he would need a personality to have a cult of personality


  2. 2
    Hair today, gone tomorrow says:

    Just imagine if he did what Kim Jong Un has and demands everyone in Labour have the same hairstyle as him.


  3. 5
    eddyh says:

    I wish I had enough hair to have a hairstyle, even if it was like Ed’s.


  4. 6
    jgm2 says:

    Even Jimmy the faithful gimp is having private concerns.

    He’s much less chipper since Labour’s poll lead went down to a single point.


    • 19
      Gooey Blob says:

      Slowly but surely it’s going to get worse for Labour in the 13 months to the election. By the day of the poll, the Tories will have a healthy lead. They had plenty of time to get rid of Ed but mistook a 10-point mid-term lead as proof they were on the road to victory.

      It would appear that socialists understand the electoral cycle even less than they understand the economic one.


      • 25
        Ed Moribund says:

        I don’t care. You Can’t win. Even if I only get 30%, which would be 2% less than Gordon, I still win if I call in the Greens and Scots Nats and Liberals.
        I AM going to be Prime Minister.

        And my revenge will be terrible.


      • 31
        Dave the Bellend Toff says:

        There’ll be no Tory victory if I have anything to do with it.


        • 54
          Ed 'fliperty' Balls says:

          You must win Dave. The economy isn’t strong enough yet. We need you to fix it before we can fuck it all up again.


      • 70
        Tim Yeo-yo says:

        DC could have gained a couple of points today by sending MM a bottle of scotch and the mess Webley


  5. 12
    Mixed Feelings says:

    Is he going to feed Ed Ball to his dogs?


  6. 15
    stun () says:

    Is that Baldwin centre middle? Just wondering what the miniature snowballs were all about…


  7. 16
    You have 2 be double dim to vote Labour. says:

    Ed you are brilliant! Keep it up!


  8. 17
  9. 18


    He is a enormous cult.


  10. 20
    Ed Moribund says:

    I am friends with Elvis


  11. 21
    Is Claude a woman? says:


  12. 23
    The Invertebrate in Number 10 says:

    I have no intention of sacking Maria Miller. The negative publicity it generates is just another step in my plan for a Labour landslide in 2015. Toodle pip!


  13. 24
    Ed Milispart says:

    Mennwhile, in a millionaire’s mansion in Primrose Hill, an unpopular younger brother dreams of his glorious future at the vanguard of the revolution


  14. 30
    Diane AbbongoBongott says:

    I can’t think of anything to tweet about tonight.


  15. 35
    Garfield says:

    In the photo is that Weird Eds cum face.


  16. 37
    Weird Ed says:

    We’re not paranoid. They ARE bwiefing against me.


  17. 38
    Joint Enterprise says:

    Can anyone help name the MPs who scurried to sit on the nenches around her and associate themselves with Miller’s non-apology for her theft?



    • 92
      Byebye Lenin says:

      The Bent Chief Whip offered the “saviours” life peerages and expenses for “support”

      It’s like the Parliament in Kiev


      • 153
        Fred the pensioner says:

        She should been instructed to come to the dispatch box to make her supercilious statement – not hiding away in Row Z.


  18. 39
    Sizzla says:

    Kim’s got a better haircut


  19. 41
    Ed The Weirdo. says:

    ” Shame he doesn’t have the cult of
    personality to go with it…”

    Oh be fair Guido! He is working on his weirdo personality. He needs to bite off squirrels heads live on TV and the his following will be phenomenal! It’s a certainty! Twitter will be unable to cope with his mass influx of followers.


    • 48
      Bill Quango MP says:

      He does have the sort of face you normally see on RudeTube when two skinny teenage brothers film themselves playing baseball with fireworks.

      With predictable consequences.


  20. 42
    johnofenfield says:

    TINA. The real truth for these spaced out idiots is too awful to contemplate.


  21. 43
    A lying two-faced paranoid bully, economic illiterate and sanctimonious shithead says:

    His fearfully supportive team resembles the North Korean inner circle daring not to offer even constructive criticism of their dear leader

    I was always glad of constructive criticism


  22. 46
    Tax Obsessed Pratt in number 10 says:

    I love high taxes and punishing success.


  23. 53
    Kim Jung Milibiscuit says:

    The shadow cabinet celebrates Ed Miliband finding his own way back from the bathroom


  24. 56
    Maria Miller says:



  25. 57
    Maria Miller says:

    Am I bothered?


  26. 58
    Daily Heil says:

    David Cameron named the massive increase in Britain’s foreign aid budget as his ‘proudest achievement’ in Government. Figures from the Office for National Statistics reveal that Britain exceeded Mr Cameron’s controversial foreign aid target for the first time last year, giving away £11.4billion.


    • 81
      The British Public says:

      What a fucking bastard.


      • 135
        Pah says:

        Where is that massive warehouse packed full with thank you letters to the British public for their kind assistance over the decades?

        There is one, Isn’t there?


    • 128
      The Eton Mess says:

      I hate the Daily Heil


    • 140
      MagicFlute says:

      The man is demented, we give money to China, India, Argentina, a raft of corrupt African dictatorships, a bunch of Islamic countries who hate us. There are projects in comparitive rich countries such as Bermuda, and even the State of California.

      How they must laugh at us.


  27. 60
    Max Headroom says:

    Cameron must be wondering what’s happening, an aide arrested over allegations of child pornography, an MP in court over allegations of sexual harassment now this, its like being back in the 1980’s

    The Conservatives, the party of choice for Sleaze


  28. 64
    C.O.Jones says:

    When Kim Jung Ed last played golf he shot a 38-under par round that included no fewer than 11 holes in one.


    • 69
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      He shot the Albatross.


    • 71
      the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

      I noticed that feat of superhuman ability, if only our own representatives were so capable


      • 75
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        Oh wait, Dave likes to do a hole in a bum


  29. 68
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Having created a vast client state and trapped so many people on welfare hand-outs, during The Reign of Terror 1997-2010, I expect them all to show their loyalty to the Miliband brand and vote as many times as possible at the upcoming elections.


  30. 76
    Tristram Hunt, Mandy's used jockstrap says:

    That’s me

    Third on the left in the front row

    The only one in the Shadow cabinet not tooting


  31. 77
    Is this the start of WWIII says:

    Unhappy Meal: McDonald’s Shuts Crimea Branches
    The fast-food chain’s decision to temporarily close branches in Crimea is a further sign of the rift in Western-Russian relations.


  32. 78
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:



  33. 79
    An innocent bystander says:

    The fact that this has now been referred to the police is not going to do her career much good or Cameron’s credibility. Methinks both the commission and the committee could to with some examination as well.

    Lets hope the media can keep stirring this pot of gravy train sauce


    • 139
      Anonymous says:

      Watched the mejia all day. Much stirring but avoiding the report altogether. Did they not like what it saod?


  34. 80
    Not in my name says:

    So never shaken off the bunker mentality then.

    Bodes well


  35. 82
    Craig Oliver says:



  36. 89
    Old Git says:

    How many times in this Parliament have we heard Cameron defending a colleague, only for that person to eventually go. This will be another instance ,The man’s judgement of character must surely play a big part in Labour’s run in to the election . The most incompetent Prime Minister that I can recall, and I can recall quite a few. Between his poor judgement AND constant refusal to answer questions at PMQs surely to goodness people must see the gross incompetence of this Prime Minister. God knows what attributes he has for the job but I certainly can’t seem to find any


    • 97
      Observer says:

      And what the fuck is Spoonface going to say about Andy and Rebekah?

      I didn’t know, Guv?

      He seems to “know” nothing….


      • 147
        aren't you forgetting... says:

        All the phone-hacking allegations happened during
        Labour’s reign- when Blair and Murdoch were still


    • 124
      jgm2 says:

      The most incompetent Prime Minister that I can recall

      Either you are about 9 years of age or you have Alzheimers.

      When it comes to incompetence you surely cannot be forgetting the Maximum Imbecile. A man whose desire to become PM was matched only by his incompetence. A man who wasted three years as PM covering up for his prior ten years of incompetence as chancellor.


      • 132
        Vlad the Loudhailer says:

        Harriet of PIE stated the McMental was the best Chancellor this country had ever had! Says it all.


        • 137
          Dirty cow says:

          I see the pervert is on QT next week. I hope someone asks her about her shameful past.


          • BBC News and Propaganda Unit says:

            We won’t allow any embarrassing questions about
            Harriet’s past to be put on Question Time.


    • 125
      Tom Catesby. says:

      His attributes were, right school, right class, right people.


  37. 93
    Jimmy says:

    The electorate will certainly remember this episode come 2015, a Cabinet Minister, reported to Police regarding financial irregularities yet still retains the PM’s ‘warmest support’. The same PM having the gall to say that ”we should leave it there”


    • 98
      Bye bye says:

      How many times was Mandy resurrected Jimmy I forget.


    • 123
      Tom Catesby. says:

      If a minister has been,’reported to the police’ then an investigation should be made. As it would if it was any other person, if not, then the’rule of law’ means nothing.


      • 146
        don't forget says:

        Not only was Mandleson resurrected- he went on to become
        a Lord, top EU official and own a London mansion worth millions.


  38. 102
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    If only…


  39. 104
    RomaBob... says:

    And elsewhere ……


    • 118
      Tom Catesby. says:

      Not a dry eye in the house, although there was one near the back, row 35050 second from the end, who didn’t look serious.


      • 133
        Fishy says:

        or are they BBC Newsnight staffers, weeping over the departure of , Ralph Miliband, Evil Eric Hobsbawm, Nelson Madiba, Tony Benn,


  40. 107
    Henry Crun says:

    No matter how much you polish it, or even roll it in glitter, a turd is just a turd.


  41. 108
    U Sad Bolt says:

    Almost a n a z i salute there Ned. Too soon to become Kim or Gordim.

    The Miller conspiracy is a disgrace, the closing together even worse. Is there not a shred of decency left among you, you racking mongs? The apology was only for the attitude by the way not the crime so we wait.


    • 112
      Bender Watch says:

      So she cannot be sacked cos there would only be three women left in the Government. Well either some homo could gladly wear a dress or promote some back bencher, it’s only Culture stuff and why that needs a minister who knows, homo marriage was passed due to this woman who clearly is having her back protected big time by the Nigel Unspeakable lobby.


  42. 113
    Red Ed Miliband says:

    Nigel Farage makes me touch cloth.


    • 158
      For those of you watching in black and white the red is hiding behind the yellow says:

      Which is why you baulk at the prospect of a debate with Nige.


  43. 116
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Didn’t we have all this shit with Blair and Brown. The cult of personality(although what f*cking personality escapes me) Do these people never learn?


  44. 141
    C O (Ξ7n) says:

    Looks like UK Press Propaganda is somewhat confusing some across the pond…

    However, ignoring the smears of F’arage being pro-P’tin, it seems that UK Court System is via it’s libel laws…


    Another infiltration problem at Cambridge ???


  45. 150
    JAB says:

    Guido goes to the Facebook just as everyone else is leaving.


  46. 160
    Anonymous says:

    “the North Korean inner circle daring not to offer even constructive criticism of their dear leader”
    mirrors the parliamentary system in the west. In that questioning the rationality of a leader’s ideological dictates. The better to confirm they are in the interests of the majority. Gets one exiled from the exercise.

    “Shame he doesn’t have the cult of personality”
    concomitant with even that of a much loved cartoon character? For how soon the “Cracking Grommet!”, that may have followed a rise to power in the party, has turned to Grommet cracking and being replaced. Possibly due to the strain of trying to engineer electoral power, for a party with an unelectable master.


  47. 161
    Kim-dongII says:

    All praise Kim Jong Ed – our glorious future leader sent to rule us in our moment of despair. Praise his name forever as he valiantly battles against those who oppose him.


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