April 1st, 2014

TORY WARS: Blues Should Read Their Bonaparte

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake”, said Napoleon, but it seems some Tories are not familiar with Bonaparte’s wisdom. Instead of sitting back and watching Labour stab each other in the back, they’ve decided to start a briefing bonfire of their own. Michael Fallon is apparently “the sort of guy who thinks ‘campaign’ is a fizzy white wine from France,” and is getting it in the neck over the supposed Royal Mail debacle: “His whole job was to sit on Vince Cable. But he’s been AWOL in recent months, and today the National Audit Office has holed Fallon below the waterline”.

The Tories throwing Vince a lifeline on this takes coalition harmony to whole new levels, but Guido suspects there is more at  play here ahead of a reshuffle. Cui bono?


  1. 1

    Stumpy lost.

    Get over it. :-)


    • 9
      Garfield says:

      He may have lost but the spirit of Bonaparte lives on in the shape F. Hollande.


      • 14
        c' says:

        The French devotee a lot of time to celebrating failure. Wait till Hollandeout off office, and he’ll bebe a national hero.


    • 11
      i've gorrall me cough drops says:

      study napoleon’s retreat from rochdale with particular care


      • 13
        Owen Jones Book of bum facts says:

        If Napoleon was alive today he would probably say,
        “Not tonight Joseph”


        • 15
          c'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas La France says:

          Josephine would have him done for sexual harassment: “Every day, your honour, he was badgering me for sex!”


    • 16
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      ve you seen Napoleon’s Tomb? Imagine how grandiose it would have been if he had won!


  2. 2
    Marechal Foch says:

    We all know that came from Shapps. Sooner the incompetent fuckwit is binned, the better.


  3. 3
    IPO Oh Oh says:

    No Fallon gong


  4. 4
    NBeale says:

    Anon comment to the Speccie from one MP isn’t quite in the league of a public letter signed by 19 luminaries saying (in effect) “Ed, you’re useless”


  5. 5
    Fuck the Tories says:

    How the fuck did a load of the Muslim Brotherhood get into fucking England to start plotting terrorism?

    Haven’t the fucking mongs in charge learned anything from the Labour years?

    Muslims = Terrorism.


    • 12
      T May says:

      Nothing to do with me. Move on please before I intercept your communications


    • 17
      Fishy says:

      Easy- like all of the rest of them…like all of the nasties that France was warning us about.

      1. Militant, radical terrorist commits a crime in their own country and runs to the UK to seek asylum

      2.The ‘home country seek to extradite the militant radical terrorist, the UK courts though say that as the home country will probably find him guilty and put him in prison (where there is no en-suit) he can’t be sent back

      3) Britain seek to deport the militant radical terrorist (who by now is fermenting trouble in the UK, radicalising people so they can go bombing tube trains, buses etc). But the militant radical terrorist has by now got a British girl up the duff and has acquired a cat. Deportation will therefore affect his human right to blow us all up and he can’t be sent back

      4) The militant radical terrorist, pissing in his shoes with laughter, tell all of his terrorist mates what a soft touch Britain is. He gets them to come and join him.


      • 26
        Ahmed Dinnerjacket says:

        It was the Frogs what originally deported that Iranian loony who started his muzzie revolution. Place have never been the same since.


  6. 6
    Watcher says:

    Why isn’t Vince Cable lying dead in a Paris under pass ?


  7. 7
    Kay Burley says:

    I’ve found the perfect way to get around the law which prohibits sending a text while you’re driving.

    I write letters.


    • 19
      c'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas La France says:

      I’ve found a similar solution to waiting in call centre queues. Write them an e mail. It takes about as long as you’ll be holding, you don’t have to try to communicate with an incomprehensible drongo in Delhi, you don’t have to argue with three levels of management before getting somebody telling you, “There’s nothing I can do” and you don’t have to listen to bloody Vivaldi again,


  8. 8
    Farquar says:

    And where is Gideon in all of this?


  9. 20
    fedz says:

    The Tories seem to screw-up everything they come into contact with, particularly so when tax payers money is concerned. The last bargain basement deal was RBS with Branson laughing all they to his bank.


  10. 21
    They're all in it together says:

    Fallon was involved with the Royal mail IPO pricing and has already sat alongside Cable at a Select Committee. So Fallon also has to tour the media defending Cable’s decision.

    They’re both in it together – except Cable can not be moved by Clegg but Fallon might get demoted by Cameron.


  11. 28
    gildedtumbril says:

    Napoleon Bonaparte was a five foot seven inch frog. Even today, folk think he was a midget. Such is the power of British propaganda.


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