March 31st, 2014

Wham Cam Thank You Nan

Congratulations to Gita Lima, the Cameron children’s nanny, who Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun is expecting a baby in early summer.

Usually Gita keeps in the background, hitting the front pages only when bungling immigration minister James Brokenshire claimed the rich, metropolitian elite get their nannies on the cheap because of mass immigration. It soon emerged that Gita had only been granted British citizenship after Samantha Cameron was named on the application as her employer…

Critics nevertheless will not be pleased to learn that Nepal-born Gita, having only got her passport in 2010, will soon be in receipt of maternity and child benefits.

The happy news means that the Downing Street nanny employment crisis is now becoming critical – George Osborne’s nanny is off as well…


  1. 1
    Brussels Broadcasting Co says:

    The BBC has learned she will be getting a MBE for potty training :)


  2. 2
    Mornington Crescent says:

    No mention of, y’know, doing the right thing and marrying the father like we used to do. Presumably a straight marriage is not to the Camerons’ taste.



    • 8
      busta says:

      Nor of the fact that our children will end up a minority in their homeland and that we’re not supposed to even mention it.


    • 77
      Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

      She should have worn a burqa not a gurkha.


    • 121
      Myfanwy says:

      Guido you could have phrased, “George Osborne’s nanny is off as well…” a little better than that, it sounds as if he personally has a nanny to look after him, I don’t though, but you know him better than more othan most of us.


    • 125
      broderick crawford says:

      wot you mean it s dave ??!!!

      if so did they push legalised bigamy into law under the radar of
      the gay marriage legislation ?


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    “It soon emerged that Gita had only been granted British citizenship after Samantha Cameron was named on the application as her employer…”

    So, like any one else in the same situation where the employer agrees to be named.


    • 5
      Mitch says:

      I don’t think anyone is suggesting it was dodgy. Just an unfortunate contrast with Brokenshire’s comments.


      • 108
        Gurrr Kha says:

        She should have her citizenship withdrawn and be sent back to Nepal.

        .. and Patty Whatsit can go climb Everest.


        • 127
          broderick crawford says:

          There s a green eyed yellow idol
          To the north of Katmandu
          There s a little marble cross below the town
          There s a broken hearted woman
          Tends the grave of “Mad Carew ”
          While the yellow god forever gazes down.


      • 118
        Dougie says:

        “It soon emerged that Gita had only been granted British citizenship after Samantha Cameron was named on the application as her employer…”

        A completely false insinuation of wrongdoing by Guido. When you apply for citizenship you have to name your employer. Or does Guido think she should have lied?


        • 120
          I dislike socialists intensely says:

          She has done nothing wrong and is gainfully employed so what is the problem?


          • Myfanwy says:

            I thought nowadays they had to have all sorts of certificates and qualifications to do that job nowadays?


  4. 4
    Fucking dis custard says:

    Who’s the daddy then?


    • 11
      A Brazilian Rent Boy says:

      Not me .


      • 85
        Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Green Nazis, Peedos and other Wasters says:

        You won’t find the Daddy as this will reduce the enormous benefits this parasite will get from my tax.


    • 12
      "Nasty" Nicky "I hate England" Cleggoooo says:

      That’s an outdated and sexist question quite frankly. The Lib Dem inspired coalition is making sure that all families are given financial help with bringing up children except, and I really put my foot down on this, those where the mother stays home to raise the child. They get nothing.

      So if a modern, post-modern independent woman – especially a BME one here to enrich us – wants to have a child then we should all celebrate and have the state raise the child to be a liberal progressive citizen. Of course if a baby would interfere with a woman’s human right to a high-flying career she must be allowed to terminate it.

      I agree with Nick.


    • 30
      A Turkey Baster says:

      Not me.


    • 38
      The Taxpayers says:

      We are


    • 67
      Fucking dis custard says:

      It’s not me either, cos I’m Elton John’s mother in law


  5. 6
    Garfield says:

    Is she a Gurkin?


  6. 9
    Harvey Proctor says:

    There are no gays in the Conservative Party.


  7. 10
    Mark Menzies says:

    Nothing to do with me.


  8. 13
    OnBenefits says:

    “the biggest cuts to personal and business taxes for two decades”

    And who has had to make the sacrifice to achieve this? Was it the wealthy?…….no. Was it the tax avoiders?……… Was it the multinationals?……….no. It has been the poor, sick and disabled. I hope George will be praising us in his speech today and I hope too see this same praise plastered across the right wing media as well. We have made this possible. Not anything that the Tories and their wealthy friends have done


    • 20
      Mitch says:

      The tens of billions that Labour gave to the banks didn’t get to the poor, my friend. It all went to the rich. Remind us who paid for that?


    • 24
      Ed Balls says:

      You’ve made it possible by not absorbing as much as you would have done under Labour – gee, thanks! Tit


    • 39
      Winston says:

      Do you not understand the meaning of “benefits”? They are not earned, they are monies or services given for free and paid for by people who work. Its is us, the net taxpayers, who are making the sacrifice.


      • 52
        M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

        It perplexed me for one nanosecond – the poor, sick and disabled as a rule don’t pay very much tax if any, nor do they do contribute very much to the economy in terms of work effort so how exactly will they be “financing” tax cuts?


      • 56
        Koba says:

        Taxation of ordinary people is now at punitive levels. Those on modest incomes are now on tax rates exceeding 50 per cent and receive no services for the loss of their liberty.


        • 86
          Normal Guy says:

          It is way more that: local government taxes and service fees, NHS dentistry and prescription service fees and VAT are regressive and hit the poorer sections of society hardest.


        • 106
          David Cameron says:

          Now you’re talking my language! The more people paying marginal rates of over 50% tax the better! I love taxing hard work!!


    • 48
      Paniagua V5.1 says:

      First wrong assumption you make is, …



    • 119
      Dougie says:

      Actually, it was the wealthy who paid for this. Not content with the top 1% paying 30% of all income tax, the OBR’s figures show that the top decile have lost more (in actual and %age terms) than all other deciles.


  9. 15
    Great Joy says:

    Sir Elton John to marry David Furnish


    • 21
      Casual Observer 2 says:

      What about the two boys that haven’t got mothers, but just these two self indulgent perverts as “fathers”? Poor kids.


      • 31
        Tradesman's entrance says:

        Their cookery and interior decorating skills will be great but changing a tap washer could prove a challenge.

        That first talk about the birds and the bees would make interesting TV.


        • 40
          Bored with homosexualism says:

          No it wouldn’t


          • Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Green Nazis, Peedos and other Wasters says:

            What is it about these fu^*ing woofters, I’m sick of hearing about it from every source. Why is it that less than 1% of the population is taking over 50% of the media and airtime? I’m beginning to think the 1930s Germans may have been right after all.


          • Ernst Rohm says:

            Come off it, duckie. There were loads of gays in the nazis.


          • Tom Catesby says:

            What next?


      • 54
        M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

        Bet they grow up as two hard drinking wimmin shaggers.


        • 72
          jgm2 says:

          Do you think Elton and Furness will be the antithesis to that bloke in ‘Little Britain’ trying to come to terms with his gay son?

          When mini-Elton shows up with a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model and Elton and Furness simply don’t know where to look or what to say.

          ‘But, but, but, we brought him up properly, we took them to all the gayest places and this is how they thank me…’


          • Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

            Does Elton want grandkids or not?

            It is a very interesting experiment though, to see how they turn out. Unless they go to Gay School I think they’ll be trying very hard not be be like their parents as all kids do.


    • 76
      Fucking dis custard says:

      Is that spelled cur Elton


  10. 17
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Dave says he’s getting immigration under control.

    No he isn’t.



  11. 18
    Lynton Crosby says:

    The Tory leadership. Getting more women into Labour, than Ed Miliband.


  12. 19
    Vince Cable says:

    If immigrants aren’t sponging off the state costing us a fortune then they must be working.
    If they are working how can that not be having an impact on the job prospects of native Britons?
    Looking at the welfare bill and unemployment figures for evidence I would say mass immigration isn’t good for the economy.


  13. 23
    David Cameron says:

    Give me a break plebs. If don’t have a nanny then how will I find time to think up even more punitive ways of taxing the Middle Classes? I’ve worked hard to be the Leader of The High Tax Party so it’s only fair.


  14. 25
    Gideon says:

    Sorry to butt in but I left a pile of nicely folded shirts in the cabinet – whatever can have become of them ?
    Very queer.


  15. 29
    Bertie Bassett says:


    UKIP, Con, Lab, LimpDickers,
    all the same shite-on-a-stick


  16. 35
    Devoid Cameron says:

    Feel the enrichment. Nick was right, its glorious.


  17. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Does her husband live localy?


  18. 42
    Owen Jones Book of bum facts says:

    My drama teacher taught me a valuable lesson.
    ‘The variety of objects you can put up your bum is only limited by your own imagination’
    Inspiring stuff I think you will agree.


  19. 44
    Derek Laud says:

    There are no gays in the Conservative Party.


  20. 44
    This is emotional cruelty. says:

    Paddy is about to shag his bird but he couldn’t put the nodder on because his dick was too big.
    ‘Don’t worry’ Paddy said to the bird.’
    ‘Oive got an idea, Oi’ll cut the end off’.


  21. 46
    Alan Duncan says:

    There are no gays in the Conservative Party.


  22. 47
    Owen and Di, Beeboids, et al says:

    Never mind immigration that’s lost already, look at global warming again, it’s fact and we are leading all news with this fact.


    • 62
      Koba says:

      All based on socialist redistribution idealism, the policies for global warming are the same as the those for the impending Ice Are of the 1970’s.


    • 87
      Bosun Higgs says:

      They are forecasting fish catches for 2060! They might as well forecast who will win the Premiership in 2060*. However much they know about football, any such forecast would be worthless, because there are too many unknowns, to many insoluble higher-degree differential equations, too many fractals and too great a human factor. It’s the same with the climate, and with fish.

      *Manchester United, actually, for the first time in 47 years.


    • 90
      Not jumped up,just notice things says:

      Global warming must be true it’s being broadcast on tv and they are told by the UN, it’s March and most governments shell out money taken from taxes from the beginning of April as that’s usually the start of the tax year, I wonder if that has anything to do with it


      • 102
        Money Plant says:

        The world may be getting warmer, it may be getting colder. Either way, there is nothing we can do to stop the process.


  23. 53
    Mark Menzies says:

    I’m feeling cocky today.


  24. 55
    Esther McVile says:

    Jeremy Kyle requires DNA tests from all residents today.


  25. 57
    Wee Willy Hague says:

    There are no gays in the Conservative Party.


  26. 58
    Normal Guy says:

    So, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom couldn’t find a single citizen in the entire country who would work have worked as his nanny and he had to get in a foreigner to do it. Really? Really? I don’t fucking believe it.


  27. 60
    Chris Huhne says:

    She looks a stunner!


  28. 61
    jgm2 says:

    Good to see America Ferrera got another gig after they stopped ‘Ugly Betty’.


  29. 64
    Bosun Higgs says:



  30. 70
    Gordon Brown says:

    British babies for foreign nannies!


  31. 75
    David Minibanana says:


  32. 99
    Maimed Codger says:

    I George Osborne not a bit too old to still have a Nanny… ??


  33. 103
    Herman Van Rum-boy says:


    Britain should prepare for an influx of ‘climate change refugees’

    The UK is likely to face a growing number of extreme weather scenarios as a result of global warming, according to Neil Adger, a geography professor at Exeter University and an author of the latest report from the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

    Such patterns will also fuel a surge in British “climate change refugees”, including families forced out of their homes due to flooding, as well as increasing fatalities due to extreme heatwaves.




    • 114
      Purley Gates says:

      Can’t somebody find this tit a job in New York – just to get him out of the country and away from filling the heads of impressionable young students with all this bullshyte?


  34. 113
    Lutfur Rahman says:

    I think you’ll find that the race card trumps all…ask my good friend Diane.


    • 115
      Eric Pickles Never says:

      Everyone who has fixed a vote, taken a bribe or given one should be deported. If they are dual nationals they should forfeit their citizenship.


  35. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Please correct me if I am wrong but haven`t the nepali people served this country with loyalty,honour,bravery and hard work since empire days ,welcome to the uk ms lima I wish i could pass some of your dna to some of the indigenous dogshit that inhabits the estates of this country.


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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