March 31st, 2014

£9m Bill for Whitehall Life Coaching

The faceless bureaucrats of Her Majesty’s civil service are the people really in charge of the country, so it’s a tad worrying that they’ve been sent on courses such as ‘Economics for Non-Economists’, ‘Enhancing Your Credibility’ and, particularly appropriate for working in this government, ‘Presenting Difficult Messages’. Sir Humphreys can learn how to ‘Be the Leader You Can Be’, not to mention ‘Going the Extra Mile’ and ‘Navigating the Leadership Labyrinth’. Though penny pinching mandarins could surely do without being trained in ‘Using Social Media’ and ‘Diversity and Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Awareness’. If it all doesn’t work out at the end of the day, at least there’s the ‘Getting a New Job’ class to help the men and women in grey suits move on. Obviously the £9 million a year price tag for all this training is on us.


  1. 1
    Westminster says:

    Pay your taxes and shut the fuck up

  2. 2
    Minor Person says:

    When I had a short stint in the civil service we had a ‘trans-sexual awareness day’ and lunchtime head massages at our desks. I didn’t stay long.

  3. 3
    jgm2 says:

    Is that £9 million going through one supplier and, if so, who is it?

  4. 4
    Feminists are stupid cunts says:

    If climate change is so important how come flying is still allowed, cars are still being made and why haven’t all power stations been shut down?

    Clearly the IPCC and BBC are wanking themselves into a frenzy.

  5. 5
    Cut the civil service says:

    Anyone who has taken one of these courses should be sacked. Clearly not up to the job.

  6. 6
    jgm2 says:

    Did your lunch-time ‘head massage’ cost £250 an hour?

  7. 7
    Auditor says:

    Not much value added in learning how to “Be the Leader You Can Be”.
    It might be worth it for “Be the Leader You Couldn’t Otherwise Have Been”

  8. 8
    SpAd says:

    But without training courses for its personnel, the public sector would soon become complacent, wasteful and inefficient!

  9. 9
    Feminists are stupid cunts says:

    The irony is clearly lost on the BBC that all the lefty mongs wanking on about how we must cut CO2 emissions have all FLOWN to Japan for a nice freebie.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    I’m trying to work out why it’s worrying that the people really running the country are receiving training.

    Are they supposed to get knowledge by osmosis?

  11. 11
    jgm2 says:

    The BBC have published a graph showing the effect of crop production of a 3C increase by 2050.

    Where the fuck are we going to get a 3C increase from? We had ~0.5C over the last century, nothing at all for the last 17 years and now, suddenly, we’re going to get a 3C increase by 2050?

    What are these c*unts playing at? Why not pick a 30C increase and really fucking well go to town.

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    How are they expected to be up to the job unless they have learnt how to do it?

  13. 13
    Penfold says:

    All done for a Common Purpose.

  14. 14
    Philip Hammond says:

    …or…just get used to it.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    As a coach I think they should do more…

  16. 16
    Nurse Pilgrim's Safari Streefree Shopaday says:


  17. 17
    BOGOF says:

    Just out of interest, was the head massaging service offered by a trans-sexual?

  18. 18
    Saleem father of fifty. says:

    How about a course for,’doing the f^cking job you’re paid to do.

  19. 19
    Cut the civil service says:

    They can go to college or night school – on their own time and at their own expense.

  20. 20
    The East India Compant says:

    We are about to make a comeback.
    Book now for your 2015 holiday in Portugal – Only a 3 day sail with a fair wind.

  21. 21
    Garfield says:

    If this was to be put in a script about a Whitehall comedy/farce it would be rejected as too far fetched.

  22. 22
    Morgan's Organ says:

    No! Savagely cut and radically reform the Civil Service into a commercially savvy well qualified administrative organisation. And having done that it will no doubt still be f***ed up by the politicians! NEVER MIND THEY’LL STILL BE CHEAPER!

  23. 23
    Government payroll says:

    Own expense! Ah hahhhahha ..

    Ah hhahha ..Good one! Own expense …oh mercy that was funny.

  24. 24
    Garfield says:

    Or you could go first class by galley.

  25. 25
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    I phoned up the council the other day to get some information about bin collection. The guy kept saying ” and going forwards”

  26. 26
    Gooey Blob says:

    Alex Salmond thinks he knows what’s best for England, Wales and Northern Ireland, but it appears that his plans are falling apart:

    The main parties should get together and announce a date for a second referendum where the rest of the UK will decide whether or not to allow Scotland to keep the pound, should the Scots vote for independence.

  27. 27
    Nick Clegg says:

    On behalf of the EU I would just like to congratulate the Netherlands for defeating England so comprehensively in the World Twenty 20.

  28. 28
    Garfield says:

    Listening to the radio the other day, they had economist on he was saying that the biggest growth in the last 10/15 yrs has been the employment of managers in the civil service/public sector.

  29. 29
    radio one DJ says:

    how about a course on persuading your co-workers to get their tits out ?

  30. 30
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    What are these c*unts playing at?

    Look at where most of their Pension funds are being invested if you want to know why they are pushing the green agenda.

  31. 31
    A typical Civil Servant says:

    I need training on how to square the cost benefit circle.

    I mean WTF??

  32. 32
    Victoria Nuland says:

    Fuck the EU, and fuck you, whoever you are.

  33. 33
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    1) On-the-job training.
    2) Reading manuals
    3) Using own initiative.

  34. 34
    Ziggy's Mate says:

    Well most of the MP’s and a significant number of civil servants are not qualified to undertake tasks required in their position. One reason why this country is being fucked up! Most of the cabinet and shadow mob has never held a proper job in their lives. That is apart from researchers or political party workers, who needs real life experience when family or union influence is all that’s required to progress? The question to ask yourself as a company owner is: – ‘Would I employ any of these people?’
    If your answer is in the affirmative then your business is probably doomed if they ever are allowed into an area of responsibility higher than tea boy (er, I mean tea person).

  35. 35
    Mr Snotty says:

    My employer is requiring all 3000 plus staff to attend an “equality and diversity” course. What the fuck will that do for the bottom line? Fuck all – the private sector is just running scared of their HR functions which are a waste of fucking space

  36. 36
    Garfield says:

    “Man allowed HYENA to eat his genitals because witch doctor told him it would make him rich”

    No doubt worked in the NHS

  37. 37
    Cicero says:

    Common Purpose, by any chance?

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, Salmon keeps trying to tell the English what THEY we should do. Get fucked you fat jock twat.

  39. 39
    Witch Doctor says:

    I said you’ll go mad, not gonad.

  40. 40
    Cicero says:

    I must admit that most of our bin lorries do go forwards, yes.

  41. 41
    Cicero says:

    I think that is what the training is teaching them to be, no?

  42. 42
    Climate Warning says:

    Humans to become extinct in the next 100 years.

  43. 43
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    Ironic, seeing as Nigel Hawthorn outed Mandy.

    But, how about some more blood on Tony Bla!rs hands ?

    Why did the UK Government cover up a Y’ugoslavian hit on Ms. Dando, fit up mong boy G’eorge, and then fail to solve the case ?

    Could not have had anything to do with EU pressure in order to make it easier to get ex-Y’ugoslavian states on the fast track path to accession, could it ?

  44. 44
    Which Doctor? says:

    I also run very popular courses on the best way to take advantage of the benefits system and optimise sickness leave during the summer months.
    Any interested parties please hurry as places are at a premium and courses soon become filled.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Lib Dems try to keep Khat legal.

  46. 46
    jgm2 says:

    Because Jill Dando was single-handedly fighting against the accession of the ex-Yugo states?

    Jill Dando off Crimewatch?

    The program that dedicated all of its output at that time to keeping the ex-Yugo states out of the EU?

    I think you’ve cracked it.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    There is a subtle detail in that report, mentioning that the contract was suspected to have sourced in S’cotland.

    People should recall this case from 1988 / K’irkaldy:

    That led to UDBA operative S!ndicic eventually returning to C’roatia after serving 10 years in prison here.

    UDBA were for sure active North of the border back then, and they must have been known to have been around the time of her killing.

    The main reason why there was an interest in keeping the Y’ugoslavian states out is because there were residual problems with their security services, inside and outside of E’urope. The activities initiated under T’ito are the majority of the ‘bloody’ stories from the Cold War period, after USSR wound down its wet operations in the early 50s.

    Most of the ex-UDBA abroad moved into the drugs trade.

    Arguably the worst aspect of this case is it lumbered BBC fee payers with F’iona B’ruce.

  49. 49
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Nick “Oh how I hate the tories” Robinson. The BBC’s lefty.

  50. 50
    I can't see my little Willy says:

    It would make the man rich, or the hyaena?

  51. 51
    Cabinet Secretary says:

    Revolving doors

  52. 52
    Accenture says:

    Who are coaching these civil servants in lying?

    Ex Labout Ministers with “consultancies”?

  53. 53
    Hugh Japhoo says:

    HR – run by little girls with real power and pretentions of sense. No understanding of the company, but will fly into a blob strop at any manager who questions them on their actual contribution to the company.

  54. 54
    Hugh Japhoo says:

    He said it was the dog’s bollocks.

  55. 55
    ROGER MYBUTT(can't wait for midnight edition) says:

    “Going the Extra Mile” Surely , It’s usually just an extra inch these depraved fucking MP’s are interested in ?

  56. 56
    Diane Abbott says:

    Me spend Mudda Day eating lotsa rice and pea, jerk chickaan and drinking rum and coke in a rub a dub styleee, bogle bogle.

    Ya white boys is all raasclaat, ya know! Ya keep dividin and rulin!

    Afro-Caribbean mums like me will go to da wall for our kids, and then to Wall’s for some ice cream.

  57. 57
    François Hollande says:

    French elections: François Hollande under pressure after crushing losses
    France’s Socialist party loses more than 150 major towns in local elections that bring historic gains for Front National ..

    Merde! My lefty policies of destroying the nation by taxing the rich 89% and ensuring everyone gets a one hand subsidy to pay two hands of extra taxes have backfired.

    Miliband! What did I do wrong?

  58. 58
    Local Government recycling middle manager says:

    Put us down for 6,000 places

  59. 59
    inside out says:

    There was a time when anybody who wanted to succeed in life did train themselves,sadly those days are over,now its all “mi rites innit”.No drive no initiative
    welcome to UK 2014.

  60. 60
    Spaceships orbit my house and steal my weetabix says:

    Some days Co2-9 you manage to out loon the big blowhard Whistler one himself.

    Unless you are the same person. One on meds. One off them.

  61. 61
    ROGER MYBUTT(can't wait for midnight edition) says:

    Kop for this dredging the “Somerset Levels on Sky news It’s taking about ten minutes a bucket load from river to truck ,due to the driver fucking about trying to empty the water out of the bucket , before he puts it in the truck Then once the truck has gone another ten minutes for the next truck to turn up , meanwhile in the background you have the customary half a dozen guys in hi viz wandering about trying to look busy
    How the fuck can this gov justify wasting taxpayers money on this Charade ?

    Back in the 60’s i watched them dredge a river up norf the bucket and the backs of the lorries had holes in them to allow the water to escape thus allowing the work to be done quickly

    How many millions is this costing us ? they have got 8km to go FFS

    This is just wasting our money to make it look like Dave actually gives a shit about anyone but his own class

  62. 62
    Bender Watch says:

    Why the sudden reprise of global warming? Just because it hasn’t snowed properly yet this winter doesn’t mean the previous six winters are discounted.

    It’s like Groundhog Day on the Beeboids. Serious faces with stern tones, it’s as though we must do something tonight. Morons.

    There has been no warming this century.

  63. 63
    Comment is Free - But some comments are more free than others. says:

    This Hollande story is on the Guardian webpage. – Comments off , naturally.

  64. 64
    BBC Red Bottom says:

    heretic! Burn him in a sustainable wood burner that powers green factories that manufacture wicker cars powered by llamas.

  65. 65
    Larry the Khat says:


  66. 66
    IPCC Directive #324 says:

    It is important that all media continue to conflate issues such as “global warming”, “climate change”, “man-made climate change” and “climate disruption”.

    That way, when someone points out that it isn’t actually getting warmer, we can brand them as a “climate change denier” and sideline them.

    Also please use the words “weather” and “climate” interchangeably, so that any unusal or extreme weather event will be automatically associated with climate change in the public’s mind.

  67. 67
    Reg Dwight says:

    Cameron you tosser.

    I’m going to have to get divorced in order to get married.

  68. 68
    Al Gore says:

    Hey I made a nice living out of flying around the world telling people not to fly around the world

  69. 69
    Jimmy says:

    So climate change is real then. Pay your green taxes, righties.

  70. 70
    Clair the Eco Loon says:

    Lawson, Delingpole and the rest of the fossil fuel shills need to get to work as their “Message”, is getting drowned out by facts. Maybe a call to their friend Rupert might do the trick

  71. 71
    Pooftahwatch says:

    If Mark Menzies is found guilty of taking and inciting others to procure banned substances, then will he have to resign as an MP as well as a minister – a la Paul Flowers?

    The problem with conducting your business online, of course, is that it might be legal, but everything is written down.

  72. 72
    Pooftahwatch says:

    If Mark Menzies is found guilty of taking and inciting others to procure banned substances, then will he have to resign as an MP as well as a minister – a la P@ul Flowers?

    The problem with conducting your business online, of course, is that it might be legal, but everything is written down.

  73. 73
  74. 74
    Podiceps says:

    By what extraordinary process of internal delusion do you work your way to this ludicrous remark?

  75. 75
    Not so Fast says:

    Mods not letting me post links showing this theory is not as far fetched as it sounds. Google NATO bombing of Serbian TV Station and do some research on what programme JD fronted 3 weeks before her death.

  76. 76
    BBC Red Bottom says:

    Hooray! Hooray! Only taxation can stop the planet warming.
    50% VAT will save the ice caps

  77. 77
    Podiceps says:

    The female hyaena has a clitoris so large that it is often mistaken for a male. Why am I suddenly thinking of the Shadow Cabinet?

  78. 78
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    Am missing the big BW.

    In any case, is interesting to note that the MP in 1988 for K’irkaldy (K’irkaldy and Cowdenbeath was created in 2005) was a Dr. Mooney.

    In 2009, the then Lord Moonie was the only Lord to be cleared by the Lords subcommittee on standards for his part in the Sunday T’imes sting where he quoted undercover reporters that it would cost them £30,000 p/a in order for him to contact H’ealey and find people who could make amendments to legislation.

  79. 79
    Jimmy Carr says:

    On the radio 4 newsquiz at the weekend, Sandi Toksvig said that being asked to chose between Farage and Clegg was akin to being asked which of migraine and diarrhoea you would prefer to suffer from

  80. 80
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The gun used to murder BBC presenter Jill Dando was used in a gangland execution several years later, a former police officer has claimed…. a few hours ago.

  81. 81
    Bosun Higgs says:

    My company Transformations Pty (Bahamas) Limited offers the following courses to civil servants:

    Arse-Elbow Differentiation
    Negation by Delay
    Creative Prevarication
    Lessons to be Learned
    Multilayered Excusemongering – Defence in Depth
    Buckpassing for Dummies
    How to Build your Empire
    Politicians Have Their Uses
    Open Government and How to Subvert it
    TLA – Three-Letter Acronyms
    The Special and General Theories of Freeloading
    London’s Top 100 Restaurants
    Advanced Guide to the Opera
    Websites That Look Like Work
    Planning Your Gold-Plated Retirement
    The Revolving Door – Influence-Peddling in the Private Sector
    You and Your Knighthood

  82. 82
    Steve from Fazakerley says:

    Osborne is telling us that his Long Term Plan is working ,giving us stability and confidence

    Just consider the spin in EVERY word

    Where did the notion Long Term spring from when Plan A was due to deliver within 5 years .?

    It surfaced after FOUR years of this Government from the FAILURE of Plan A …the Plan which delivered 3 years of financial deterioration and stagnant growth resulting in the loss of Triple A and soaring debt

    Stability and confidence , just words ….they sound warm and comforting but are subjective nebulous concepts ….and for whom …

    not the homeless ,not those who need foodbanks ,not the disabled worrying about bedroom tax or ATOS clawing back their much needed benefits

    If you were quick about it ,you would have seen the following information yesterday on BBC text

    The current deficit last quarter of 2013 was 22 .4 billion …only a smidgen less than the previous quarter of 20.8 billion

    which was the worst ever

    The worst ever …worse than the time of the Global Financial Crash ,worse than when Brown and Darling had to spend to protect people form the failure of the banks

    Economists apparently thought it would be just 14 billion

    THIS is the reality of George’s economic Plan. A Disaster

    NO wonder the ratings agency are not aiming to return us to Triple A

  83. 83
    Ed Moribund says:

    I combine those two ailments into one handy sized illness.

  84. 84
    ROGER MYBUTT(can't wait for midnight edition) says:

    Big world meeting !

    Only those with pro climate change tendencesare allowed

    there are just as many who say IT’S BOLLOCKS

  85. 85
    Captain Haddock says:

    You know precisely how many fish will be caught in 2060. I’m impressed!

  86. 86
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    I have mentioned this before that when ice melts it’s water takes up less space and so water levels should drop.

  87. 87
    Ed Moribund says:

    Jeez.. even I was bored reading that and I usually love reading boring, badly sourced, biased lefty shit.

  88. 88
    Ed Moribund says:

    Not when its arctic ice apparently. Something to do with salt I think.

  89. 89
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Courses about actual work, yes.

    Motivational tosh, no.

  90. 90
    BBC Mong says:

    We will use the licence fee to educate the sheeple into believeing that we need to reduce CO2; for example abolishing public funded TV would reduce emissions, save on electric and give every family a 140 quid a year. Wait!..Oh Fuck!! That is us. Climate Change is utter bollocks dreamt up by Thatcher and the Tory bastards.

  91. 91
    Dateline April 1999 says:

    6 April 1999 JD fronts BBC Kosovo appeal exposing Serbian atrocities.
    23 April NATO bomb Serbian TV Station.
    26 April JD shot.

  92. 92
    Comment Macht Frei says:

    Who says the left dont do irony.

  93. 93
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    If global warming is taking place then why are our energy bills so high? Surely we should need less heating.

  94. 94
    Kay Burley chasing grief stricken relatives on live television says:

    SKY are just as bad, they have been running this scare mongering nonsense all day.

  95. 95
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Is it possible for labour to become more negative. Weasel face Chris Leslie has just been on C4 News spouting the labour negative. If labour was so good why didn’t they win the 2010 election?

  96. 96
    The public says:

    Is that it?
    That’s the sort of ‘evidence’ we expect from the climate changers.

    A while ago it was cold
    Now, It is hotter.
    The planet is dying

  97. 97
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    p = m x v work it out (salt water is more dense than rain water).

  98. 98
    Gobshite says:

    Cue the old joke — the captain wants to water-ski.

  99. 99
    Steve from Fazakerley says:

    Sorry the truth hurts…

  100. 100
    Dateline April 1999 says:

    No thats not it , I have tried posting links to reports at the time that explore the possibility that she was a victim of a Serbian hitman but they keep getting modded. Do some research and you see that it does not seem to outlandish as it first appears. Couple the fact that after the strike on the Serbian TV Station Blair was crowing that it was a legitimate target.

  101. 101
    Diane Abbott says:

    I just love the smell of my farts.

  102. 102
    Horace Batchelor says:

    I’ll repeat that.

    Get fucked you fat jock twat.

  103. 103
  104. 104
  105. 105
    Gobshite says:

    You are a mine of information, sir, and should dominate the pub quizzes, assuming you do not do same already.

  106. 106
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    the sea ice must be less dense than sea water because it floats

  107. 107
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    The weapon is very distinctive, from a forensics point of view.

    No rifling on the barrel, and the ammunition is home made: Crimped in a distinctive pattern.

    In this case it may well be the type of ammunition: Absent rifling there would be very little to distinguish one firearm from another. However, the way the shell was made would be distinctive to the armourer who had made it.

    That really should have ruled G’eorge out originally: A little bit beyond his abilities.

    The type of weapon many suspect is this:

    In the case of D’ando, she was shot point blank in the back of the head. That incidentally essentially silenced the weapon, in case anyone was wondering.

    There were reports of an individual being seen in the immediate area with what looked like a cell phone at the time.

  108. 108
    Longinus says:

    V GOOD

  109. 109
    The Village Idiot fed on a constant diet of biased mendacity & manipulation says:

    Wot no fcuking bum sex then ?

    Standards are still fcuking slipping ……why

    wot about in depth course about Vasilene & its varied

    everyday uses……

  110. 110
    Gobshite says:

    You are conflating her with Jan Dildo, the former flame of Clare Balding.

  111. 111
    Bender Watch says:

    Is what her gay marriage did to her then?

  112. 112
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    The RTS station in B’elgrade was a legitimate target.

    It was broadcasting nationalist propaganda for M’ilosevic which at the time was starting wars.

    I think also the station was part owned by someone in his family. (RTS was a state broadcaster at the time, but there was a lot of corruption.)

  113. 113
    Fishy says:

    Not a hyena, it must have been a two litre jaguar

  114. 114
    Wikipedia says:

    Fazakerley takes its name from Anglo-Saxon root words – all descriptive words pertaining to dung; Fae-ces-leah. This can be broken down to faeces (dung or shit), aecer (field) and lea, or lei, meaning a wood or clearing.

    In 1321, Fazakerley was described as such: “the country is extremely flat and treeless, with nothing to recommend it to the passer-by, for it seems to be a district of straight lines, devoid of any beauty”.

    In 1943 its most famous son, Steve, was born. He has been on benefits ever since [citation needed].

  115. 115
    Garfield says:

    Got to give you your due, you are a prize loon.

  116. 116
    Typical Leftwit says:

    Much easier to attack the messenger than the message

  117. 117
    Shooty* says:

    I’m not gay, but if I was, I’m not sure I’d be happy to be lumped in with the Transgender crowd. What’s the link?

    its like either
    a) a load of hetero people have said “Yeah, they’re all weird, let’s lump them all in the same group” or
    b) strength in numbers.

    But I don’t see the common ground. One is sexuality, the other is not liking your birth gender*. Not the same thing.

    *Yeah, I know, not the PC term. “not liking your genetic gender”, “not liking your assigned gender”, “gender mental image non-conformity disorder”, whatever.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    More to do with the ice over land e.g. glaciers, but totally ignoring that much of this is melting due to soot (therefore darker and absorbing more sunlight) rather than warming

  119. 119
    Nigel says:

    That Hitler fellow was brilliant…I respect and admire him…not a nice bloke but I can understand where he was coming from.

  120. 120
    Bang says:

    Light one.

  121. 121
    Bill Quango MP says:

    C O : Don’t think that rules George out. He would have bought the gun.
    It might have been made for someone/something else and Barry offered a big wad so the gunsmith flogged it.

    Close range shot to an unsuspecting person isn’t hard. He is no way a normal. He’s a psychotic misogynist. So profiling he would have been a good match.

    But actual evidence linking George to the crime was scant. Why only the tiny particle of gunpowder residue? Nothing in his home? No clothes, plans, guns, papers, bills etc. He didn’t appear as someone careful enough to have concealed his tracks well. So that may mean he didn’t do it. Not in the legal sense, I mean the actual sense. But if he didn’t, who did?

    Yugoslavs and Serbians seems beyond far fetched.

  122. 122
    Old duffer says:

    Jimmy ? Is he a qwar ?

  123. 123
  124. 124
    Tony Benn's ghost says:

    That Stalin was brilliant..I respect and admire him. Not a nice bloke but I can understand where he was coming from.

    And that Chairman mao whokilled millions upon millions. Well, I respect and admire him. Made a few mistakes, but who doesn’t? Pol Pot was a nice man. He liked hamsters. So he’s absolved too.

  125. 125
    In other news says:

    Globalism allows the movement of peoples across the planet in just a few hours.
    The recent outbreak of the deadly Ebola virus, which has killed over 70 people in Guinea, has now spread to Liberia and possible Sierra Leone.

    Just a few hours from Shepherds Bush!

  126. 126
    You heard it here first. IRREFUTABLE FACTS says:

    Temperature of geological rocks up by 1 degree
    Ground rock, soil and sub-soil 2 degrees
    Sea, first 2 meters, no change
    Below to 100 meters 1/2 degree
    Below 100 meters up 5 degrees
    Ice everywhere is now melting at + 3 degrees C

    Peoples living room up 10 degrees
    Baths up 20 degrees

    I can go on

    This is the truth. Refute orl be a denier, unpleasant person, not worth considering

  127. 127
    White rabbit says:

    Me ? I ain’t sayin nothin

    World population, currently 7 billion, is growing by another 76 million people per year. According to the UN the world will add another 2.6 billion people by 2050. Rapid population growth has placed incredible stress on Earth’s resources. Global demand for water has tripled since the 1950s, but the supply of fresh drinking water has been declining because of over-pumping and contamination. Half a billion people live in water-stressed or water-scarce countries, and by 2025 that number will grow to three billion. In the last 50 years, cropland has been reduced by 13% and pasture by 4

  128. 128
    Edinburgh Scottish only says:

    Does Laird Salmond have a policy of improving the Scottish Football and Rugby Teams playing north of the border?

  129. 129
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    No. Liberal Democrats.

    Oh, same thing.

  130. 130
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    For G’eorge to have purchased such a weapon he would have had to have known the right people, and also had money.

    The investigation came up blank on both those counts.

    With his previous convictions he was known to the police.

    To carry out a murder in this fashion he would also have had to have had practise. Despite his dodgy history there was no hint of that. From what is written about him it does not really fit with his personality either.

    That the conviction was overturned and he was acquitted at retrial in 2008.

    He is definitely an odd chap, but certainly does not look or sound like a cold blooded killer. His involvement with the BBC, work there (when S’avile was at his height) and G’ary G’litter fixation etc. perhaps are more worthy of scrutiny. ;-)

    The question still remains though: Why was a case pursued against him, and obfuscate the more obvious explanation at the time ?

  131. 131
    gildedtumbril says:

    It is perhaps fortunate that I am never coarse or vulgar so I’ll just say, THIEVING BASTARDS.

  132. 132
    Al Gore says:

    Burn the Heretic!!!

  133. 133
    Dodgy D. Laws says:

    LibDems: love khat, hate pussy.

  134. 134
    Anonymous says:

    Why do you consider it ‘beyond far fetched ‘ we attacked their TV station and they attacked one of our TV presenters who had told the world about Serbian atrocities days later does not seem far fetched at all. In fact it has more ‘motive’ attached to it than any other theory including Barry George. You seem to keen to discount this possibility. Far to keen.

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    ‘Diversity and Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Awareness’.

    Hahahahahahahahaha……it’s the way you tell ‘em.

  136. 136
    Nigel says:

    Don’t listen to that liblabcon rubbish. Nothing wrong with Stalin. You knew where you were with Jo.

  137. 137
    The Village Idiot fed on a constant diet of biased mendacity & manipulation says:

    Yes all UK MSM are tarred by the same fcuking brush , for a more balanced
    report tune into RT , (Russia Today) Broadcast from the states & financed from Russia….hhhhhmmmmmmmm

    However by viewing RT its something the fcuking Biased Broadcasting Company aka BBC really disapproves of… everyone who does will be forced to go on a prolonged diversity correction course on Global Warming to ensure they fully understand the consequences of not paying more, a lot fcuking more in Green Taxes……

    And they will be very very grateful for correcting there view for there
    serious misdemeanour…….!!!

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Thousands of scientists agree it would be a shame to lose the funding by doing proper science.

  139. 139
    Larry says:

    No cats involved then?

  140. 140
    Boris Carloffe says:

    Nigel Farrage on Channel 4. I think that program can only have done him good and won him more supporters, especially listening to Kinnock’s views. One labour supporter stated that the press should be stopped giving him publicity. Just shows Labour views on freedom of speach

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    He believes everything the BBC and the IPCC tells him like a good little useful idiot.

  142. 142
    JadedJean12 says:

    Germany made efforts to avert war many times. Read Pat Buchanan’s article on this.

    Just remember, Germany had territory inside Poland, the Polish-Danzig corridor was really German but he didn’t even demand that back – think of Berlin after the war and how the Western allies had a corridor to West Berlin. It’s why there had to be an airlift. Second, remember that the USSR ‘invaded’ Poland at the same time as Germany. Britain and France did not declare war on the USSR in 1939. Why not?

    I suggest you learn some history instead of repeating propaganda. Your current behaviour is at your cost, you have an opportunity to gain something here.

  143. 143
    Jagman 84 says:

    Unpleasant person? No mirrors in your house then?

  144. 144
    Hossenpheffer says:

    Jimmy was one of those that thought we’d all have AIDS by now, just like the pressure groups and the government said in the 90’s.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    Well, wasn’t over population the big scare before global warming took over?

  146. 146
    JadedJean12 says:

    Interesting FACTS CO7.

    But look to the MUCH broader picture.

    You seem good a retrieving interesting snippets of information but unable to put them together and understand the the broader geopolitical game at play. It is both incredibly subtle, yet at the same time so simple. The reason you do not understand this is because you do not have a scientific AND medical background.

    Libertarians are natural Lysenkoists. They are politically blind to the SCIENCE at play in politics. Realpoltik is anything but REAL. Biology is politics.

  147. 147
    Fishy says:

    Sieg Heil JJ, Deutschland über alles and all that.

  148. 148
    CORRIGENDA says:

    ‘Farage’ ‘programme’ ‘speech’

  149. 149
    Little Johnny B13COW says:


  150. 150
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:


  151. 151
    John Bellingham says:

    Ah, but that naughty CO2 realised that people were watching it, so instead of becoming a greenhouse gas, it sneakily changed tack and became soluble in seawater to increase its acidity–this will kill off all the coral reefs and ruin the economy of the Maldives (which was due to have sunk beneath the waves in 2005). We face a history where the entire planet is one big puddle of salty soda-water.

  152. 152
    Podiceps says:

    There are two kinds of fart, smelly and inflammable. A fart can’t be both at once.

  153. 153
    Jack Ketch says:

    Not all of have sex with homosexuals or indulge in African sexual practices or take illegal drugs.

  154. 154
    John Bellingham says:

    Look up Chris Leslie’s CV on wikipaedia and have a jolly good laugh. This prat wouldn’t get hired by Poundland as a shelf-stacker with huis work experience.

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    all hr departments are full of shit so why are you surprised?

  156. 156
    Imshee McOilgone-Soon says:

    Don’t let the camel shggers near them, ffs! They’ll need to mutilate them all, as only raghed males with beards you could hide a badger in can be pleasured!

    I keel you!!!!!

  157. 157
    John Bellingham says:

    Yasmin ali-baba Brown (aka Yasmin Alibhai-Brown,born Yasmin Damji in Kampala, Uganda) the well known anti-British, anti-Christian, extreme left-wing racist columinst for the ‘Independent’, appeared on a Channel 4 documentary about Nigel Farage thhis evening. She calls for “The media to band together to prevent ‘this man’ from receiving any publicity”.
    The true colours of Left Wing anti-white racism.

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Can I be a life coach please I want a wodge of the mone for doing nothing telling useless twats how to live and do their jobs

  159. 159
    Nigel says:

    Absolutely right. Adolf was just a humble artist scandalised by the situation. Any sane person would want to take over Europe and Russia in those circumstances.

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    75% of the planet is a big puddle of salty soda-water

  161. 161
    John Bellingham says:

    Is Kinnock a duplicitous, lying, slimy toad or what? Oh! You already knew that.
    That labour supporter was a columinst for the ‘Independent’ see post No. 138.

  162. 162
    brown-dog says:

    “The Market Is Rigged” – Michael Lewis Explains How HFTs “Screw” Investors Every Day

    It was almost excatly five years ago to the day, on April 10, 2009, that Zero Hedge – widely mocked at the time by “experts” – began its crusade against HFT and the perils of algorithmic trading (which of course were validated a year later with the Flash Crash).

  163. 163
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    The M’olotov-R’ibbentrop pact was delivered in 1939:

    MR was a non-aggression pact signed between G’ermany and USSR.

    The USSR invaded P’oland about two weeks after G’ermany, as per the secret protocol’s agreed in the MR pact.

    During the tri-partite talks related to MR between the Soviet’s, French and British, the British revealed that its total forces amounted to 38 divisions: France claimed to have 110.

    Soviet forces at the time amounted to 120 divisions.

    The F’rench claim was questionable: They may have had the numbers, but the actual strength of the force was very weak.

    The British could not declare war on the USSR in 1939 because they did not have forces strong enough to defeat the USSR.

    Tripartite talks were also suspended at the time. Neither Britain nor France desired war against the USSR and perhaps miscalculated that the MR would lead to G’ermany disarming which is what they desired most, after continuing receipt of G’erman reparation payments.

    The implications of the changes to the COMINTERN pact R’ibbentrop did goad Britain with. Without the threat of USSR backed global revolution it would have been much harder for the UK to maintain the bluff that kept most of the empire aligned with L’ondon.

    NB: The attitude of G’erman corporates today towards P’utin should be regarded from this perspective, as also should the broader implications of the ECU for the US. Not a direct parallel, but there is plenty to rhyme.

  164. 164
    brown-dog says:

    On BBC News at 10 tonight, David Shukman diligently reporting on “Climate Change”.

    “He is of J e w i sh ancestry – his grandfather, whom he is named after, was part of the J e w ish community who lived in Baranow, Poland, before emigrating and settling in the United Kingdom

  165. 165
    JadedJean12 says:

    I am unable to post any replies.

    The modding will not allow me to.

  166. 166
    Berty says:

    Who would want to be aware of “Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender” – can’t they keep it to themselves while at work?

  167. 167
    Make my day says:

  168. 168
  169. 169
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    Still digesting your above + Have been leafing through the Avalon archives. The MR take above is deliberately a bit filtered.

    If trying to refer to the chosen few just use symbols – it will be clear.

    In other news, seems like a re-run of oil for food scam, but a bit bigger, involving T’urkey / !ran…

    Interesting to note that SWIFT intercepts highlighted this. MIT have NSA to thank for that.

    (No wonder P’tin wants NSA switched off.)

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    Says so much more about her and the bubble she lives in than them.

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    They are all for freedom of speech as long as the speech matches their own views.

  172. 172
    jgm2 says:

    45 minutes from Shepherds Bush shurely.

  173. 173
    jgm2 says:

    Qat. Good Scrabble word. Makes you loquacious, repetetive and keeps you awake.

    See K*o*r*a*n for further side-effects.

  174. 174
    jgm2 says:

    It’s Labour’s ‘no platform’ policy from the 1970s. Shut down all opposition. Anybody who questioned why Bradford would need an influx of s’tan’is was to be denied a platform. Because they’re racist. Which is a ‘bad thing’. Because they say so. Despite it being one of the most basic instincts in man, mammals and even fucking insects.

    ‘That fucker is different, what the fuck is he doing here, he’d better have a fucking good reason…’

    An instinct developed and shared with any number of animals who piss on fences to mark their territory and keep other fuckers out. An instinct that, unlike ‘homophobia’ is a genuine instinct. I don’t know of examples of animals ganging up on gay animals but even fucking ants will fight to protect their ant colony from invasion by another ant colony. But no. We have to pretend that we’re beyond that. That Birmingham airport, the one-time workshop of the British empire, has several flights a day to Islamabad but only one a day to the US and that this is perfectly normal and to be ‘celebrated’.

    Denial of platform.

    The BBC, at your service.

  175. 175
    Brixton road sweeper says:

    I put this on the thread below, but as you probably all missed it, I re-present it here. Good morning.

    Brixton road sweeper says:
    April 1, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Been there done that. Was patronised to high heaven by some scrawny squeaky 20-something female who had obviously never been further than Surbiton, and never learned anything I did not know already. Complete waste of time and money – plus it took me a month to catch up with my work when I got back to my desk.

    It seems to me that far too many lefty-indoctrinated middle/upper rankers have taken over the asylum and are feeding these gravy trains of like minded imbeciles with taxpayers’ cash. If the government had a mind to, it could easily cut 75% of middle/upper ranking civil servants with no loss of efficiency or productivity. Cut the chain of I draft something and pass it up; next up checks the commas and full stops and passes it up; next up decides whether or not it might be a good/bad idea to support/squash it. If squash, it goes back down the chain; if support, it goes up for further consideration. We are now getting into the senior ranks. Bod on desk wonders how his boss next door might react to proposal. Decides on balance response likely to be favourable and so writes a two page minute on why this idea should be supported and passes it up. Boss sends it back asking where funding is likely coming from, what needs to be changed/cancelled to accommodate this new idea/project etc etc etc.

    In the private sector, a trainee plumber can see a tap is dripping and simply does the necessary repair without all this consultation up to board of directors level on whether he can be allowed to act so independently.

  176. 176
    Abdul Elteasy-weasy says:

    One day long ago whilst on a trip to the far east, I popped into a local barber shop for a quick trim. The guy was from the sub-continent and the Koran was blaring from a radio in the corner. But he was an excellent barber and did a good job. As I was about to get up from the chair, he pushed me back and started a head massage which actually was quite a pleasant experience. He also insisted in pulling all my fingers until the joints clicked. Must be the custom I suppose in certain parts of the world.

  177. 177
    Gertcha says:

    Fuck off Cameron, we know it’s you and your drug taking bum-sex rent boy followers.

  178. 178
    Et provocatus Anglorum says:

    A purge is required at the very top of British society.

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    “Economics for Non-Economists”
    1+1=2, but 1+1=10. If the latter appears erroneous ,it could be because the mind of the ‘mathematician’ concerned is locked inside a decimal paradigm delusion. In which binary concepts do not exist. This may also explain yet another housing bubble, being knotted into some sort of balloon- animal contortion. To give it a superficial resemblance, to a different sort of creature altogether.

  180. 180
    A Quote to Note says:

    “The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

    Oscar Wilde

  181. 181
    Piggy Banks says:

    City investors benefited from an instant 38 per cent share price rise on the first day of trading, Taxpayers lost £2.3bn in cheap Royal Mail sell-off: National Audit Office report lays bare how city hit jackpot from the sale. (Mail Online)

    In other words, how Private Sector Parasites (Dave’s City mates) scrounge off the state.

  182. 182
    By the way says:

    What happens if the plumber decides to act independently, and attempts to question the Board of Directors as to whether some of their income was the result of them getting shot of Royal Mail shares?

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    Room 101 at Tory HQ seems to be working overtime.

  184. 184
    Anonymous says:

    How about some training in the value of paying workers a decent wage, without the need for state/top-up benefits?

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    By claiming that “The RTS station in B’elgrade was a legitimate target”,
    C O (Ξ7m) should think about the possible outcomes. For dose not such lack of concern for international law put the likes of Sky News, The Sun or Daily Mail at risk?

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Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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