March 31st, 2014

£9m Bill for Whitehall Life Coaching

The faceless bureaucrats of Her Majesty’s civil service are the people really in charge of the country, so it’s a tad worrying that they’ve been sent on courses such as ‘Economics for Non-Economists’, ‘Enhancing Your Credibility’ and, particularly appropriate for working in this government, ‘Presenting Difficult Messages’. Sir Humphreys can learn how to ‘Be the Leader You Can Be’, not to mention ‘Going the Extra Mile’ and ‘Navigating the Leadership Labyrinth’. Though penny pinching mandarins could surely do without being trained in ‘Using Social Media’ and ‘Diversity and Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Awareness’. If it all doesn’t work out at the end of the day, at least there’s the ‘Getting a New Job’ class to help the men and women in grey suits move on. Obviously the £9 million a year price tag for all this training is on us.


185 Comments

  1. 1
    Westminster says:

    Pay your taxes and shut the fuck up

    Like

    • 14
      Philip Hammond says:

      …or…just get used to it.

      Like

      • 22
        Morgan's Organ says:

        No! Savagely cut and radically reform the Civil Service into a commercially savvy well qualified administrative organisation. And having done that it will no doubt still be f***ed up by the politicians! NEVER MIND THEY’LL STILL BE CHEAPER!

        Like

        • 42
          Climate Warning says:

          Humans to become extinct in the next 100 years.

          Like

          • IPCC Directive #324 says:

            It is important that all media continue to conflate issues such as “global warming”, “climate change”, “man-made climate change” and “climate disruption”.

            That way, when someone points out that it isn’t actually getting warmer, we can brand them as a “climate change denier” and sideline them.

            Also please use the words “weather” and “climate” interchangeably, so that any unusal or extreme weather event will be automatically associated with climate change in the public’s mind.

            Like

          • Captain Haddock says:

            You know precisely how many fish will be caught in 2060. I’m impressed!

            Like

          • White rabbit says:

            Me ? I ain’t sayin nothin

            World population, currently 7 billion, is growing by another 76 million people per year. According to the UN the world will add another 2.6 billion people by 2050. Rapid population growth has placed incredible stress on Earth’s resources. Global demand for water has tripled since the 1950s, but the supply of fresh drinking water has been declining because of over-pumping and contamination. Half a billion people live in water-stressed or water-scarce countries, and by 2025 that number will grow to three billion. In the last 50 years, cropland has been reduced by 13% and pasture by 4

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Well, wasn’t over population the big scare before global warming took over?

            Like

        • 180
          A Quote to Note says:

          “The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

          Oscar Wilde

          Like

    • 81
      Bosun Higgs says:

      My company Transformations Pty (Bahamas) Limited offers the following courses to civil servants:

      Arse-Elbow Differentiation
      Negation by Delay
      Creative Prevarication
      Lessons to be Learned
      Multilayered Excusemongering – Defence in Depth
      Buckpassing for Dummies
      How to Build your Empire
      Politicians Have Their Uses
      Open Government and How to Subvert it
      TLA – Three-Letter Acronyms
      The Special and General Theories of Freeloading
      London’s Top 100 Restaurants
      Advanced Guide to the Opera
      Websites That Look Like Work
      Planning Your Gold-Plated Retirement
      The Revolving Door – Influence-Peddling in the Private Sector
      You and Your Knighthood

      Like

      • 108
        Longinus says:

        V GOOD

        Like

      • 109
        The Village Idiot fed on a constant diet of biased mendacity & manipulation says:

        Wot no fcuking bum sex then ?

        Standards are still fcuking slipping ……why

        wot about in depth course about Vasilene & its varied

        everyday uses……

        Like

    • 168
      • 175
        Brixton road sweeper says:

        I put this on the thread below, but as you probably all missed it, I re-present it here. Good morning.

        Brixton road sweeper says:
        April 1, 2014 at 3:32 am

        Been there done that. Was patronised to high heaven by some scrawny squeaky 20-something female who had obviously never been further than Surbiton, and never learned anything I did not know already. Complete waste of time and money – plus it took me a month to catch up with my work when I got back to my desk.

        It seems to me that far too many lefty-indoctrinated middle/upper rankers have taken over the asylum and are feeding these gravy trains of like minded imbeciles with taxpayers’ cash. If the government had a mind to, it could easily cut 75% of middle/upper ranking civil servants with no loss of efficiency or productivity. Cut the chain of I draft something and pass it up; next up checks the commas and full stops and passes it up; next up decides whether or not it might be a good/bad idea to support/squash it. If squash, it goes back down the chain; if support, it goes up for further consideration. We are now getting into the senior ranks. Bod on desk wonders how his boss next door might react to proposal. Decides on balance response likely to be favourable and so writes a two page minute on why this idea should be supported and passes it up. Boss sends it back asking where funding is likely coming from, what needs to be changed/cancelled to accommodate this new idea/project etc etc etc.

        In the private sector, a trainee plumber can see a tap is dripping and simply does the necessary repair without all this consultation up to board of directors level on whether he can be allowed to act so independently.

        Like

        • 182
          By the way says:

          What happens if the plumber decides to act independently, and attempts to question the Board of Directors as to whether some of their income was the result of them getting shot of Royal Mail shares?

          Like

      • 181
        Piggy Banks says:

        LATEST NEWS:
        City investors benefited from an instant 38 per cent share price rise on the first day of trading, Taxpayers lost £2.3bn in cheap Royal Mail sell-off: National Audit Office report lays bare how city hit jackpot from the sale. (Mail Online)

        In other words, how Private Sector Parasites (Dave’s City mates) scrounge off the state.

        Like

  2. 2
    Minor Person says:

    When I had a short stint in the civil service we had a ‘trans-sexual awareness day’ and lunchtime head massages at our desks. I didn’t stay long.

    Like

    • 6
      jgm2 says:

      Did your lunch-time ‘head massage’ cost £250 an hour?

      Like

    • 17
      BOGOF says:

      Just out of interest, was the head massaging service offered by a trans-sexual?

      Like

    • 176
      Abdul Elteasy-weasy says:

      One day long ago whilst on a trip to the far east, I popped into a local barber shop for a quick trim. The guy was from the sub-continent and the Koran was blaring from a radio in the corner. But he was an excellent barber and did a good job. As I was about to get up from the chair, he pushed me back and started a head massage which actually was quite a pleasant experience. He also insisted in pulling all my fingers until the joints clicked. Must be the custom I suppose in certain parts of the world.

      Like

    • 183
      Anonymous says:

      Room 101 at Tory HQ seems to be working overtime.

      Like

  3. 3
    jgm2 says:

    Is that £9 million going through one supplier and, if so, who is it?

    Like

  4. 4
    Feminists are stupid cunts says:

    If climate change is so important how come flying is still allowed, cars are still being made and why haven’t all power stations been shut down?

    Clearly the IPCC and BBC are wanking themselves into a frenzy.

    Like

    • 11
      jgm2 says:

      The BBC have published a graph showing the effect of crop production of a 3C increase by 2050.

      Where the fuck are we going to get a 3C increase from? We had ~0.5C over the last century, nothing at all for the last 17 years and now, suddenly, we’re going to get a 3C increase by 2050?

      What are these c*unts playing at? Why not pick a 30C increase and really fucking well go to town.

      Like

      • 30
        Paniagua V5.1 says:

        What are these c*unts playing at?

        Look at where most of their Pension funds are being invested if you want to know why they are pushing the green agenda.

        Like

      • 126
        You heard it here first. IRREFUTABLE FACTS says:

        Temperature of geological rocks up by 1 degree
        Ground rock, soil and sub-soil 2 degrees
        Sea, first 2 meters, no change
        Below to 100 meters 1/2 degree
        Below 100 meters up 5 degrees
        Ice everywhere is now melting at + 3 degrees C

        Peoples living room up 10 degrees
        Baths up 20 degrees

        I can go on

        This is the truth. Refute orl be a denier, unpleasant person, not worth considering

        Like

    • 68
      Al Gore says:

      Hey I made a nice living out of flying around the world telling people not to fly around the world

      Like

    • 90
      BBC Mong says:

      We will use the licence fee to educate the sheeple into believeing that we need to reduce CO2; for example abolishing public funded TV would reduce emissions, save on electric and give every family a 140 quid a year. Wait!..Oh Fuck!! That is us. Climate Change is utter bollocks dreamt up by Thatcher and the Tory bastards.

      Like

  5. 5
    Cut the civil service says:

    Anyone who has taken one of these courses should be sacked. Clearly not up to the job.

    Like

    • 12
      Anonymous says:

      How are they expected to be up to the job unless they have learnt how to do it?

      Like

      • 19
        Cut the civil service says:

        They can go to college or night school – on their own time and at their own expense.

        Like

        • 23
          Government payroll says:

          Own expense! Ah hahhhahha ..

          Ah hhahha ..Good one! Own expense …oh mercy that was funny.

          Like

        • 25
          the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

          I phoned up the council the other day to get some information about bin collection. The guy kept saying ” and going forwards”

          Like

        • 59
          inside out says:

          There was a time when anybody who wanted to succeed in life did train themselves,sadly those days are over,now its all “mi rites innit”.No drive no initiative
          welcome to UK 2014.

          Like

  6. 7
    Auditor says:

    Not much value added in learning how to “Be the Leader You Can Be”.
    It might be worth it for “Be the Leader You Couldn’t Otherwise Have Been”

    Like

    • 18
      Saleem father of fifty. says:

      How about a course for,’doing the f^cking job you’re paid to do.

      Like

      • 29
        radio one DJ says:

        how about a course on persuading your co-workers to get their tits out ?

        Like

      • 184
        Anonymous says:

        How about some training in the value of paying workers a decent wage, without the need for state/top-up benefits?

        Like

  7. 8
    SpAd says:

    But without training courses for its personnel, the public sector would soon become complacent, wasteful and inefficient!

    Like

  8. 9
    Feminists are stupid cunts says:

    The irony is clearly lost on the BBC that all the lefty mongs wanking on about how we must cut CO2 emissions have all FLOWN to Japan for a nice freebie.

    Like

  9. 10
    Anonymous says:

    I’m trying to work out why it’s worrying that the people really running the country are receiving training.

    Are they supposed to get knowledge by osmosis?

    Like

    • 33
      Joss Ayinglike says:

      1) On-the-job training.
      2) Reading manuals
      3) Using own initiative.

      Like

    • 35
      Mr Snotty says:

      My employer is requiring all 3000 plus staff to attend an “equality and diversity” course. What the fuck will that do for the bottom line? Fuck all – the private sector is just running scared of their HR functions which are a waste of fucking space

      Like

      • 53
        Hugh Japhoo says:

        HR – run by little girls with real power and pretentions of sense. No understanding of the company, but will fly into a blob strop at any manager who questions them on their actual contribution to the company.

        Like

      • 155
        Anonymous says:

        all hr departments are full of shit so why are you surprised?

        Like

    • 89
      Bosun Higgs says:

      Courses about actual work, yes.

      Motivational tosh, no.

      Like

  10. 13
    Penfold says:

    All done for a Common Purpose.

    Like

  11. 15
    Anonymous says:

    As a coach I think they should do more…

    Like

  12. 21
    Garfield says:

    If this was to be put in a script about a Whitehall comedy/farce it would be rejected as too far fetched.

    Like

  13. 26
    Gooey Blob says:

    Alex Salmond thinks he knows what’s best for England, Wales and Northern Ireland, but it appears that his plans are falling apart:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-26366676

    The main parties should get together and announce a date for a second referendum where the rest of the UK will decide whether or not to allow Scotland to keep the pound, should the Scots vote for independence.

    Like

    • 38
      Anonymous says:

      Yes, Salmon keeps trying to tell the English what THEY we should do. Get fucked you fat jock twat.

      Like

    • 128
      Edinburgh Scottish only says:

      Does Laird Salmond have a policy of improving the Scottish Football and Rugby Teams playing north of the border?

      Like

  14. 27
    Nick Clegg says:

    On behalf of the EU I would just like to congratulate the Netherlands for defeating England so comprehensively in the World Twenty 20.

    Like

  15. 28
    Garfield says:

    Listening to the radio the other day, they had economist on he was saying that the biggest growth in the last 10/15 yrs has been the employment of managers in the civil service/public sector.

    Like

  16. 31
    A typical Civil Servant says:

    I need training on how to square the cost benefit circle.

    I mean WTF??

    Like

  17. 34
    Ziggy's Mate says:

    Well most of the MP’s and a significant number of civil servants are not qualified to undertake tasks required in their position. One reason why this country is being fucked up! Most of the cabinet and shadow mob has never held a proper job in their lives. That is apart from researchers or political party workers, who needs real life experience when family or union influence is all that’s required to progress? The question to ask yourself as a company owner is: – ‘Would I employ any of these people?’
    If your answer is in the affirmative then your business is probably doomed if they ever are allowed into an area of responsibility higher than tea boy (er, I mean tea person).

    Like

  18. 36
    Garfield says:

    “Man allowed HYENA to eat his genitals because witch doctor told him it would make him rich”

    No doubt worked in the NHS

    Like

    • 39
      Witch Doctor says:

      I said you’ll go mad, not gonad.

      Like

      • 44
        Which Doctor? says:

        I also run very popular courses on the best way to take advantage of the benefits system and optimise sickness leave during the summer months.
        Any interested parties please hurry as places are at a premium and courses soon become filled.

        Like

    • 50
      I can't see my little Willy says:

      It would make the man rich, or the hyaena?

      Like

      • 54
        Hugh Japhoo says:

        He said it was the dog’s bollocks.

        Like

        • 77
          Podiceps says:

          The female hyaena has a clitoris so large that it is often mistaken for a male. Why am I suddenly thinking of the Shadow Cabinet?

          Like

          • Gobshite says:

            You are a mine of information, sir, and should dominate the pub quizzes, assuming you do not do same already.

            Like

          • Imshee McOilgone-Soon says:

            Don’t let the camel shggers near them, ffs! They’ll need to mutilate them all, as only raghed males with beards you could hide a badger in can be pleasured!

            I keel you!!!!!

            Like

    • 113
      Fishy says:

      Not a hyena, it must have been a two litre jaguar

      Like

  19. 43
    C O (Ξ7m) says:

    Ironic, seeing as Nigel Hawthorn outed Mandy.

    But, how about some more blood on Tony Bla!rs hands ?

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/gun-used-to-kill-jill-dando-was-used-again-years-later-claims-former-police-officer-9226260.html

    Why did the UK Government cover up a Y’ugoslavian hit on Ms. Dando, fit up mong boy G’eorge, and then fail to solve the case ?

    Could not have had anything to do with EU pressure in order to make it easier to get ex-Y’ugoslavian states on the fast track path to accession, could it ?

    Like

    • 46
      jgm2 says:

      Because Jill Dando was single-handedly fighting against the accession of the ex-Yugo states?

      Jill Dando off Crimewatch?

      The program that dedicated all of its output at that time to keeping the ex-Yugo states out of the EU?

      I think you’ve cracked it.

      Like

      • 48
        C O (Ξ7m) says:

        There is a subtle detail in that report, mentioning that the contract was suspected to have sourced in S’cotland.

        People should recall this case from 1988 / K’irkaldy:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_%C5%A0tedul

        That led to UDBA operative S!ndicic eventually returning to C’roatia after serving 10 years in prison here.

        UDBA were for sure active North of the border back then, and they must have been known to have been around the time of her killing.

        The main reason why there was an interest in keeping the Y’ugoslavian states out is because there were residual problems with their security services, inside and outside of E’urope. The activities initiated under T’ito are the majority of the ‘bloody’ stories from the Cold War period, after USSR wound down its wet operations in the early 50s.

        Most of the ex-UDBA abroad moved into the drugs trade.

        Arguably the worst aspect of this case is it lumbered BBC fee payers with F’iona B’ruce.

        Like

      • 75
        Not so Fast says:

        Mods not letting me post links showing this theory is not as far fetched as it sounds. Google NATO bombing of Serbian TV Station and do some research on what programme JD fronted 3 weeks before her death.

        Like

        • 80
          Bill Quango MP says:

          The gun used to murder BBC presenter Jill Dando was used in a gangland execution several years later, a former police officer has claimed…. a few hours ago.

          Like

          • C O (Ξ7m) says:

            The weapon is very distinctive, from a forensics point of view.

            No rifling on the barrel, and the ammunition is home made: Crimped in a distinctive pattern.

            In this case it may well be the type of ammunition: Absent rifling there would be very little to distinguish one firearm from another. However, the way the shell was made would be distinctive to the armourer who had made it.

            That really should have ruled G’eorge out originally: A little bit beyond his abilities.

            The type of weapon many suspect is this:

            http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7451/Mobile-phone-guns-destined-Britain.html

            In the case of D’ando, she was shot point blank in the back of the head. That incidentally essentially silenced the weapon, in case anyone was wondering.

            There were reports of an individual being seen in the immediate area with what looked like a cell phone at the time.

            Like

          • Bill Quango MP says:

            C O : Don’t think that rules George out. He would have bought the gun.
            It might have been made for someone/something else and Barry offered a big wad so the gunsmith flogged it.

            Close range shot to an unsuspecting person isn’t hard. He is no way a normal. He’s a psychotic misogynist. So profiling he would have been a good match.

            But actual evidence linking George to the crime was scant. Why only the tiny particle of gunpowder residue? Nothing in his home? No clothes, plans, guns, papers, bills etc. He didn’t appear as someone careful enough to have concealed his tracks well. So that may mean he didn’t do it. Not in the legal sense, I mean the actual sense. But if he didn’t, who did?

            Yugoslavs and Serbians seems beyond far fetched.

            Like

          • C O (Ξ7m) says:

            For G’eorge to have purchased such a weapon he would have had to have known the right people, and also had money.

            The investigation came up blank on both those counts.

            With his previous convictions he was known to the police.

            To carry out a murder in this fashion he would also have had to have had practise. Despite his dodgy history there was no hint of that. From what is written about him it does not really fit with his personality either.

            That the conviction was overturned and he was acquitted at retrial in 2008.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_George

            He is definitely an odd chap, but certainly does not look or sound like a cold blooded killer. His involvement with the BBC, work there (when S’avile was at his height) and G’ary G’litter fixation etc. perhaps are more worthy of scrutiny. ;-)

            The question still remains though: Why was a case pursued against him, and obfuscate the more obvious explanation at the time ?

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Why do you consider it ‘beyond far fetched ‘ we attacked their TV station and they attacked one of our TV presenters who had told the world about Serbian atrocities days later does not seem far fetched at all. In fact it has more ‘motive’ attached to it than any other theory including Barry George. You seem to keen to discount this possibility. Far to keen.

            Like

          • JadedJean12 says:

            Interesting FACTS CO7.

            But look to the MUCH broader picture.

            You seem good a retrieving interesting snippets of information but unable to put them together and understand the the broader geopolitical game at play. It is both incredibly subtle, yet at the same time so simple. The reason you do not understand this is because you do not have a scientific AND medical background.

            Libertarians are natural Lysenkoists. They are politically blind to the SCIENCE at play in politics. Realpoltik is anything but REAL. Biology is politics.

            Like

        • 91
          Dateline April 1999 says:

          6 April 1999 JD fronts BBC Kosovo appeal exposing Serbian atrocities.
          23 April NATO bomb Serbian TV Station.
          26 April JD shot.

          Like

  20. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Lib Dems try to keep Khat legal.

    Like

  21. 49
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Nick “Oh how I hate the tories” Robinson. The BBC’s lefty.

    Like

  22. 51
    Cabinet Secretary says:

    Revolving doors

    Like

  23. 52
    Accenture says:

    Who are coaching these civil servants in lying?

    Ex Labout Ministers with “consultancies”?

    Like

  24. 55
    ROGER MYBUTT(can't wait for midnight edition) says:

    “Going the Extra Mile” Surely , It’s usually just an extra inch these depraved fucking MP’s are interested in ?

    Like

  25. 56
    Diane Abbott says:

    Me spend Mudda Day eating lotsa rice and pea, jerk chickaan and drinking rum and coke in a rub a dub styleee, bogle bogle.

    Ya white boys is all raasclaat, ya know! Ya keep dividin and rulin!

    Afro-Caribbean mums like me will go to da wall for our kids, and then to Wall’s for some ice cream.

    Like

  26. 57
    François Hollande says:

    French elections: François Hollande under pressure after crushing losses
    France’s Socialist party loses more than 150 major towns in local elections that bring historic gains for Front National ..

    Merde! My lefty policies of destroying the nation by taxing the rich 89% and ensuring everyone gets a one hand subsidy to pay two hands of extra taxes have backfired.

    Miliband! What did I do wrong?

    Like

  27. 61
    ROGER MYBUTT(can't wait for midnight edition) says:

    Kop for this dredging the “Somerset Levels on Sky news It’s taking about ten minutes a bucket load from river to truck ,due to the driver fucking about trying to empty the water out of the bucket , before he puts it in the truck Then once the truck has gone another ten minutes for the next truck to turn up , meanwhile in the background you have the customary half a dozen guys in hi viz wandering about trying to look busy
    How the fuck can this gov justify wasting taxpayers money on this Charade ?

    Back in the 60’s i watched them dredge a river up norf the bucket and the backs of the lorries had holes in them to allow the water to escape thus allowing the work to be done quickly

    How many millions is this costing us ? they have got 8km to go FFS

    This is just wasting our money to make it look like Dave actually gives a shit about anyone but his own class

    Like

  28. 62
    Bender Watch says:

    Why the sudden reprise of global warming? Just because it hasn’t snowed properly yet this winter doesn’t mean the previous six winters are discounted.

    It’s like Groundhog Day on the Beeboids. Serious faces with stern tones, it’s as though we must do something tonight. Morons.

    There has been no warming this century.

    Like

    • 64
      BBC Red Bottom says:

      heretic! Burn him in a sustainable wood burner that powers green factories that manufacture wicker cars powered by llamas.

      Like

    • 84
      ROGER MYBUTT(can't wait for midnight edition) says:

      Big world meeting !

      Only those with pro climate change tendencesare allowed

      there are just as many who say IT’S BOLLOCKS

      Like

    • 94
      Kay Burley chasing grief stricken relatives on live television says:

      SKY are just as bad, they have been running this scare mongering nonsense all day.

      Like

      • 137
        The Village Idiot fed on a constant diet of biased mendacity & manipulation says:

        Yes all UK MSM are tarred by the same fcuking brush , for a more balanced
        report tune into RT , (Russia Today) Broadcast from the states & financed from Russia….hhhhhmmmmmmmm

        However by viewing RT its something the fcuking Biased Broadcasting Company aka BBC really disapproves of… everyone who does will be forced to go on a prolonged diversity correction course on Global Warming to ensure they fully understand the consequences of not paying more, a lot fcuking more in Green Taxes……

        And they will be very very grateful for correcting there view for there
        serious misdemeanour…….!!!

        Like

    • 151
      John Bellingham says:

      Ah, but that naughty CO2 realised that people were watching it, so instead of becoming a greenhouse gas, it sneakily changed tack and became soluble in seawater to increase its acidity–this will kill off all the coral reefs and ruin the economy of the Maldives (which was due to have sunk beneath the waves in 2005). We face a history where the entire planet is one big puddle of salty soda-water.

      Like

  29. 67
    Reg Dwight says:

    Cameron you tosser.

    I’m going to have to get divorced in order to get married.

    Like

  30. 69
    Jimmy says:

    So climate change is real then. Pay your green taxes, righties.

    Like

    • 74
      Podiceps says:

      By what extraordinary process of internal delusion do you work your way to this ludicrous remark?

      Like

      • 141
        Anonymous says:

        He believes everything the BBC and the IPCC tells him like a good little useful idiot.

        Like

      • 144
        Hossenpheffer says:

        Jimmy was one of those that thought we’d all have AIDS by now, just like the pressure groups and the government said in the 90’s.

        Like

        • 153
          Jack Ketch says:

          Not all of have sex with homosexuals or indulge in African sexual practices or take illegal drugs.

          Like

  31. 70
    Clair the Eco Loon says:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/ipcc-report-climate-change-is-happening-andno-one-in-the-world-is-immune-9224777.html

    Lawson, Delingpole and the rest of the fossil fuel shills need to get to work as their “Message”, is getting drowned out by facts. Maybe a call to their friend Rupert might do the trick

    Like

    • 76
      BBC Red Bottom says:

      Hooray! Hooray! Only taxation can stop the planet warming.
      50% VAT will save the ice caps

      Like

  32. 71
    Pooftahwatch says:

    If Mark Menzies is found guilty of taking and inciting others to procure banned substances, then will he have to resign as an MP as well as a minister – a la Paul Flowers?

    The problem with conducting your business online, of course, is that it might be legal, but everything is written down.

    Like

  33. 72
    Pooftahwatch says:

    If Mark Menzies is found guilty of taking and inciting others to procure banned substances, then will he have to resign as an MP as well as a minister – a la P@ul Flowers?

    The problem with conducting your business online, of course, is that it might be legal, but everything is written down.

    Like

  34. 79
    Jimmy Carr says:

    On the radio 4 newsquiz at the weekend, Sandi Toksvig said that being asked to chose between Farage and Clegg was akin to being asked which of migraine and diarrhoea you would prefer to suffer from

    Like

  35. 82
    Steve from Fazakerley says:

    Osborne is telling us that his Long Term Plan is working ,giving us stability and confidence

    Just consider the spin in EVERY word

    Where did the notion Long Term spring from when Plan A was due to deliver within 5 years .?

    It surfaced after FOUR years of this Government from the FAILURE of Plan A …the Plan which delivered 3 years of financial deterioration and stagnant growth resulting in the loss of Triple A and soaring debt

    Stability and confidence , just words ….they sound warm and comforting but are subjective nebulous concepts ….and for whom …

    not the homeless ,not those who need foodbanks ,not the disabled worrying about bedroom tax or ATOS clawing back their much needed benefits

    If you were quick about it ,you would have seen the following information yesterday on BBC text

    The current deficit last quarter of 2013 was 22 .4 billion …only a smidgen less than the previous quarter of 20.8 billion

    which was the worst ever

    The worst ever …worse than the time of the Global Financial Crash ,worse than when Brown and Darling had to spend to protect people form the failure of the banks

    Economists apparently thought it would be just 14 billion

    THIS is the reality of George’s economic Plan. A Disaster

    NO wonder the ratings agency are not aiming to return us to Triple A

    Like

    • 87
      Ed Moribund says:

      Jeez.. even I was bored reading that and I usually love reading boring, badly sourced, biased lefty shit.

      Like

      • 99
        Steve from Fazakerley says:

        Sorry the truth hurts…

        Like

        • 114
          Wikipedia says:

          Fazakerley takes its name from Anglo-Saxon root words – all descriptive words pertaining to dung; Fae-ces-leah. This can be broken down to faeces (dung or shit), aecer (field) and lea, or lei, meaning a wood or clearing.

          In 1321, Fazakerley was described as such: “the country is extremely flat and treeless, with nothing to recommend it to the passer-by, for it seems to be a district of straight lines, devoid of any beauty”.

          In 1943 its most famous son, Steve, was born. He has been on benefits ever since [citation needed].

          Like

  36. 86
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    I have mentioned this before that when ice melts it’s water takes up less space and so water levels should drop.

    Like

    • 88
      Ed Moribund says:

      Not when its arctic ice apparently. Something to do with salt I think.

      Like

    • 97
      Idon'tneednodoctor says:

      p = m x v work it out (salt water is more dense than rain water).

      Like

      • 106
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        the sea ice must be less dense than sea water because it floats

        Like

        • 138
          Anonymous says:

          Thousands of scientists agree it would be a shame to lose the funding by doing proper science.

          Like

    • 118
      Anonymous says:

      More to do with the ice over land e.g. glaciers, but totally ignoring that much of this is melting due to soot (therefore darker and absorbing more sunlight) rather than warming

      Like

  37. 93
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    If global warming is taking place then why are our energy bills so high? Surely we should need less heating.

    Like

  38. 95
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Is it possible for labour to become more negative. Weasel face Chris Leslie has just been on C4 News spouting the labour negative. If labour was so good why didn’t they win the 2010 election?

    Like

    • 154
      John Bellingham says:

      Look up Chris Leslie’s CV on wikipaedia and have a jolly good laugh. This prat wouldn’t get hired by Poundland as a shelf-stacker with huis work experience.

      Like

  39. 101
    Diane Abbott says:

    I just love the smell of my farts.

    Like

  40. 117
    Shooty* says:

    I’m not gay, but if I was, I’m not sure I’d be happy to be lumped in with the Transgender crowd. What’s the link?

    its like either
    a) a load of hetero people have said “Yeah, they’re all weird, let’s lump them all in the same group” or
    b) strength in numbers.

    But I don’t see the common ground. One is sexuality, the other is not liking your birth gender*. Not the same thing.

    *Yeah, I know, not the PC term. “not liking your genetic gender”, “not liking your assigned gender”, “gender mental image non-conformity disorder”, whatever.

    Like

  41. 119
    Nigel says:

    That Hitler fellow was brilliant…I respect and admire him…not a nice bloke but I can understand where he was coming from.

    Like

    • 124
      Tony Benn's ghost says:

      That Stalin was brilliant..I respect and admire him. Not a nice bloke but I can understand where he was coming from.

      And that Chairman mao whokilled millions upon millions. Well, I respect and admire him. Made a few mistakes, but who doesn’t? Pol Pot was a nice man. He liked hamsters. So he’s absolved too.

      Like

      • 136
        Nigel says:

        Don’t listen to that liblabcon rubbish. Nothing wrong with Stalin. You knew where you were with Jo.

        Like

        • 142
          JadedJean12 says:

          Germany made efforts to avert war many times. Read Pat Buchanan’s article on this.

          http://www.vdare.com/articles/hillary-hitler-cold-war-ii

          Just remember, Germany had territory inside Poland, the Polish-Danzig corridor was really German but he didn’t even demand that back – think of Berlin after the war and how the Western allies had a corridor to West Berlin. It’s why there had to be an airlift. Second, remember that the USSR ‘invaded’ Poland at the same time as Germany. Britain and France did not declare war on the USSR in 1939. Why not?

          I suggest you learn some history instead of repeating propaganda. Your current behaviour is at your cost, you have an opportunity to gain something here.

          Like

          • Fishy says:

            Sieg Heil JJ, Deutschland über alles and all that.

            Like

          • John Bellingham says:

            Yasmin ali-baba Brown (aka Yasmin Alibhai-Brown,born Yasmin Damji in Kampala, Uganda) the well known anti-British, anti-Christian, extreme left-wing racist columinst for the ‘Independent’, appeared on a Channel 4 documentary about Nigel Farage thhis evening. She calls for “The media to band together to prevent ‘this man’ from receiving any publicity”.
            The true colours of Left Wing anti-white racism.

            Like

          • Nigel says:

            Absolutely right. Adolf was just a humble artist scandalised by the situation. Any sane person would want to take over Europe and Russia in those circumstances.

            Like

          • C O (Ξ7m) says:

            The M’olotov-R’ibbentrop pact was delivered in 1939:

            MR was a non-aggression pact signed between G’ermany and USSR.

            The USSR invaded P’oland about two weeks after G’ermany, as per the secret protocol’s agreed in the MR pact.

            During the tri-partite talks related to MR between the Soviet’s, French and British, the British revealed that its total forces amounted to 38 divisions: France claimed to have 110.

            Soviet forces at the time amounted to 120 divisions.

            The F’rench claim was questionable: They may have had the numbers, but the actual strength of the force was very weak.

            The British could not declare war on the USSR in 1939 because they did not have forces strong enough to defeat the USSR.

            Tripartite talks were also suspended at the time. Neither Britain nor France desired war against the USSR and perhaps miscalculated that the MR would lead to G’ermany disarming which is what they desired most, after continuing receipt of G’erman reparation payments.

            The implications of the changes to the COMINTERN pact R’ibbentrop did goad Britain with. Without the threat of USSR backed global revolution it would have been much harder for the UK to maintain the bluff that kept most of the empire aligned with L’ondon.

            NB: The attitude of G’erman corporates today towards P’utin should be regarded from this perspective, as also should the broader implications of the ECU for the US. Not a direct parallel, but there is plenty to rhyme.

            Like

          • JadedJean12 says:

            I am unable to post any replies.

            The modding will not allow me to.

            Like

          • C O (Ξ7m) says:

            Still digesting your above + Have been leafing through the Avalon archives. The MR take above is deliberately a bit filtered.

            If trying to refer to the chosen few just use symbols – it will be clear.

            In other news, seems like a re-run of oil for food scam, but a bit bigger, involving T’urkey / !ran…

            http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2014/03/31/turkey_teflon_don_erdogan_elections_corruption

            Interesting to note that SWIFT intercepts highlighted this. MIT have NSA to thank for that.

            (No wonder P’tin wants NSA switched off.)

            Like

    • 177
      Gertcha says:

      Fuck off Cameron, we know it’s you and your drug taking bum-sex rent boy followers.

      Like

  42. 123
  43. 125
    In other news says:

    Globalism allows the movement of peoples across the planet in just a few hours.
    The recent outbreak of the deadly Ebola virus, which has killed over 70 people in Guinea, has now spread to Liberia and possible Sierra Leone.

    Just a few hours from Shepherds Bush!

    Like

  44. 131
    gildedtumbril says:

    It is perhaps fortunate that I am never coarse or vulgar so I’ll just say, THIEVING BASTARDS.

    Like

  45. 133
    Dodgy D. Laws says:

    LibDems: love khat, hate pussy.

    Like

    • 173
      jgm2 says:

      Qat. Good Scrabble word. Makes you loquacious, repetetive and keeps you awake.

      See K*o*r*a*n for further side-effects.

      Like

  46. 135
    Anonymous says:

    ‘Diversity and Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Awareness’.

    Hahahahahahahahaha……it’s the way you tell ‘em.

    Like

  47. 140
    Boris Carloffe says:

    Nigel Farrage on Channel 4. I think that program can only have done him good and won him more supporters, especially listening to Kinnock’s views. One labour supporter stated that the press should be stopped giving him publicity. Just shows Labour views on freedom of speach

    Like

    • 148
      CORRIGENDA says:

      ‘Farage’ ‘programme’ ‘speech’

      Like

    • 161
      John Bellingham says:

      Is Kinnock a duplicitous, lying, slimy toad or what? Oh! You already knew that.
      That labour supporter was a columinst for the ‘Independent’ see post No. 138.

      Like

    • 171
      Anonymous says:

      They are all for freedom of speech as long as the speech matches their own views.

      Like

    • 174
      jgm2 says:

      It’s Labour’s ‘no platform’ policy from the 1970s. Shut down all opposition. Anybody who questioned why Bradford would need an influx of s’tan’is was to be denied a platform. Because they’re racist. Which is a ‘bad thing’. Because they say so. Despite it being one of the most basic instincts in man, mammals and even fucking insects.

      ‘That fucker is different, what the fuck is he doing here, he’d better have a fucking good reason…’

      An instinct developed and shared with any number of animals who piss on fences to mark their territory and keep other fuckers out. An instinct that, unlike ‘homophobia’ is a genuine instinct. I don’t know of examples of animals ganging up on gay animals but even fucking ants will fight to protect their ant colony from invasion by another ant colony. But no. We have to pretend that we’re beyond that. That Birmingham airport, the one-time workshop of the British empire, has several flights a day to Islamabad but only one a day to the US and that this is perfectly normal and to be ‘celebrated’.

      Denial of platform.

      The BBC, at your service.

      Like

  48. 149
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    SOME MAY THINK I’M A JUMPED UP LITTLE SQUIRT….

    Like

  49. 150
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

    I AM 80 YEARS BEHIND THE TIMES.

    Like

  50. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Can I be a life coach please I want a wodge of the mone for doing nothing telling useless twats how to live and do their jobs

    Like

  51. 162
    brown-dog says:

    “The Market Is Rigged” – Michael Lewis Explains How HFTs “Screw” Investors Every Day

    It was almost excatly five years ago to the day, on April 10, 2009, that Zero Hedge – widely mocked at the time by “experts” – began its crusade against HFT and the perils of algorithmic trading (which of course were validated a year later with the Flash Crash).

    Like

  52. 164
    brown-dog says:

    On BBC News at 10 tonight, David Shukman diligently reporting on “Climate Change”.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Shukman

    “He is of J e w i sh ancestry – his grandfather, whom he is named after, was part of the J e w ish community who lived in Baranow, Poland, before emigrating and settling in the United Kingdom

    Like

  53. 166
    Berty says:

    Who would want to be aware of “Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender” – can’t they keep it to themselves while at work?

    Like

  54. 179
    Anonymous says:

    “Economics for Non-Economists”
    1+1=2, but 1+1=10. If the latter appears erroneous ,it could be because the mind of the ‘mathematician’ concerned is locked inside a decimal paradigm delusion. In which binary concepts do not exist. This may also explain yet another housing bubble, being knotted into some sort of balloon- animal contortion. To give it a superficial resemblance, to a different sort of creature altogether.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Rachel Reeves’ Pension Howler | Mail
UKIP Propose 90% Cut in Overseas Aid | Breitbart
Ed Milibaaaand | Sun
Ed Miliband Phrase Generator | Guardian
Blair Right About ISIS | Jago Pearson
Miliband Will Be Prime Minister By Default | Alex Wickham
Labout Have Learned Nothing | Jeremy Warner
How Cameron Can Return to No. 10 | Telegraph
Balls Speech Was Mush | FT
Labour Makes a Mess of Its Big Moment | James Kirkup
Miliband Must Win Back Blair’s Englanders | Rachel Sylvester


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Eddie Izzard, in his thirteenth year involved in politics, says he’s not cursed because it took Sir Alex Ferguson “seven years to win the premiership so it doesn’t really matter.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,471 other followers