March 28th, 2014

Ed Gets Up, Close and Personal With Small Biz


  1. 1
    lynton says:

    Do you mind, I’m having a brunch of two fried eggs and a sausage.


  2. 2
    East India Company Wallah says:



  3. 3
    The religion of mass murder says:

    What a surprise. We were expected to believe she just “vanished” putting out the bins. Pull the other one. It’s got all the marks of a classic honour killing.

    Police investigating the disappearance of Nida Naseer from Newport say they believe a body found near the city is the missing woman.

    Thursday’s discovery at Newport Wetlands off West Nash Road came three months after she disappeared.

    Nida, 19, was not wearing a coat or shoes when she vanished while putting out bins at her Pill family home.


    • 51
      Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

      The local news are reporting her body was washed up on a salt marsh, which *could* indicate a tragic accident, but the circumstances are highly suspicious – especially given the …shall we say… ethnicity of the family.
      Local press is of course being neutral, but some public comments on the story are hinting that there is more to this than just a simple ‘runaway’ story.

      Whatever, it’s a tragic outcome to a bright girl with her future in front of her.
      (btw I’m from Newport).


  4. 4
    A Genetic Horror Story that is Ed Milliband says:



  5. 6
    Fat Abbott says:


    • 35
      Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

      She’s not just arrogant and hypocritical and racist and bigoted. She’s also too stupid to understand the damage she does to the putrid remains of her party and what little it still stands for. Pathological ignorance really is bliss.


  6. 7
    Aaron D Highside. says:

    Should have gone to Specsavers.


  7. 8
    Ed's Minister for Mincers says:


    • 14
      A wag says:

      I thought we had sent Mandy and his blue suede shoes to Moscow as the Gay Quartet Peace Envoy already

      With astonishing results

      Or am I confused?


    • 16
      Bill Quango MP says:

      What does he know about gays?

      Oh..wait…it’s obvious once it’s pointe d out, isn’t it?


    • 17
      Lott says:

      This whole Gay thing seems to have its roots set in Israel. For some reason the J3ws have always been into the homosexual and trandgrender scene right back to Sodom and Gomorrah. Be warned, it’s not only floods that we’ll get.


      • 37
        Táxpáyér says:

        The new godwin’s law.

        “It’s teh j3w5″.


        • 66
          JadedJean12 says:

          Some say it’s because they are prone to be feminine brained.

          They tend to have higher verbal intelligence over spatial intelligence.

          Endogamous marriage being a gene barrier has maintained this characteristic.


    • 20
      Please says:

      Appoint Bryant and send him to U gan da.


    • 21
      Mollah Omah, negotiating with UK Government says:

      Send me a few gay rights envoys please

      They will make good fresh stew


    • 29
      Robust Community Diversity Outreach Champion Officer 38ka pa, 6 weeks holiday, 10am-4.30pm says:

      Every council should have a department to monitor and uphold these rights.


    • 58
      Editor of Pink News says:

      Send Flower Power, for goodness sake

      With a Coop bag full of kets

      He thinks he’s got God on his side as well

      Like Pimp Blair


    • 68
      M says:

      Can we have a straight rights envoy , then he could organise a straight pride march , coz it good to spend hard earn taxpayers money high lighting , who everyone prefers to shag ………… No


  8. 10
    Judge Led Enquiry says:

    Point to the bit of the little dolly, where the nasty lady touched you.


  9. 11
    Ed Miliband says:

    I’m ever so slightly aroused right now


  10. 12
    Small business owner says:

    I would like to thank Gordon Brown for the 500% rate rises of the 1990s and millennia years that allowed my small business to become smaller.

    Now I have much more time stare out of the window. Or buy products from Amazon who are capital gains exempt. Or even just buy goods from China direct on ebay that attract no import duty.

    Thanks Gordon Brown. Your clunking fist job means we will be forever in your debt.


    • 18
      Gordon Brown says:

      Pleasure. By the way how’s your pension doing?


      • 53
        Small business owner says:

        That’s doing great thanks. They say when you retire, you are ready to die.
        So I know that now, I can’t possibly ever retire on my pitifully small, raided pension, I must not be ready to die.

        Thank you Gordon. You are a hero to hardworkingpeople


        • 75
          Vlad the Loudhailer says:

          And his book on Courage help me so much that I no longer break down in tears when someone goes boo!


        • 79
          carlo gambino says:

          My plumber paid his first income tax in 1948, last week he did my taps.

          There’s the future, right here in the present.


  11. 13
    Ed Miliband says:

    She smelt like Stephanie.


  12. 15
    Whiffler says:

    Pass the sick bag, Alyssa


  13. 19
    Sarah Millington says:

    Lib / Lab / Con Party are not on the side of SME’s.

    SME’s employ 90% of all employees in the UK yet we are completely ignored & used as cash cows for these self serving cretins in Westminster.

    SME’s generate 80% of all tax revenue from businesses in the UK – yet have NO representation at a Ministerial level – they are too busy sucking up to big business so they can get their consultancy job when they are kicked out of office.

    “Labour would appoint an Envoy for Gay Rights?” – feffing marvellous – when will we get an envoy for the businesses & individuals who generate all the tax revenue for you to squander on your pet projects & bribing your block votes?


    • 24
      Ellie-Mae (9) says:

      Vote Labour get more of the same.
      Alyssa thinks it’ll be a lovely idea, just that we won’t be able to afford Alyssa’s bl**dy j*wellery.

      Why govt is obsessing over gay rights and bandwagon millibland has to “go one better” is beyond credibility.

      You’re right Sarah, have a jam doughnut before Fatbot gets a fatwa on them


    • 26
      Chukka Umunna says:

      You can have me.


    • 28
      Táxpáyér says:

      Then they’d cut VAT and Employer NI & corp taxes & then have to raise non-harmful taxes and that would put an end to the real job of government, which is to enable rent-seeking.


  14. 23
    Mick Salazar says:

    I hope she nutted him and kneed him in the balls

    Now that would be a message from small businesses!


    • 34
      Court reporter says:

      Mr Jay and virgin Justine will be onto you if you recommend touching exceptional Ed

      Followed by a judge led enquiry


  15. 25
    Ladyboy Cooper says:

    Am I sexy?


  16. 33
    Light bulbs and silly things like that says:

    Good piece by our Ben Brogan, Guido

    Dear Ed, of course, has no idea of what he is “fixing”

    Confucius said:
    If you do not not know what the problem is
    You cannot fix it

    Perhaps he should call the Chinese in to ensure light in Britain

    After all, Spoonface already has asked them to fix our nuclear power


  17. 39
    nell says:

    Well given his collapsing poll ratings he needs every friend he can get.


  18. 41
    Max says:

    I have a small business.


  19. 42
    Anon. says:

    Yet another Yeovil Lib Dem thief.


    • 48
      Nick Clegg says:

      Stealing out of the Poppy Appeal doesn’t really figure on the Lib Dem Richter scale of thieving, skullduggery, sexual perversions, and lying.

      I rate it as 1 out of 10. Must try harder.


    • 65
      Idon'tneednodoctor says:



  20. 43
    joe and maria and angela sunnybank road says:

    nice bunch of shite the postie delivered me today…

    a brochure for a local pizza delivery company (anyone familiar with 4chan will get the significance of that particularly if it is cheese flavoured).

    a morrisons supermarket promo leaflet – on the front of which is some flowers highlighting their mothers day range.

    a sealed sun life direct aged 50-85 envelope.

    oh and a mention for mr mcpherson. i had a big old rant to myself the other day about how you fucks never have the guts to come threatening me to my face and lo and behold the buzzer went a couple of hours alter. sensing a wrong ‘un i didn’t answer but a “mcpherson” from the local council dropped his card thru the letterbox. “pher” sounds like “fear” and son well sounds like son.

    what a bunch of tossers you satanic towelhead hating wankers really are.

    the translation is they are saying they will murder one of my relatives, frame me for it and put disgusting illegal images on my computer. you see these satanic covens really do not want to be exposed… because it will be the end of them. and now that the heat is on they are trying to impart the notion the entire world is at peril so it must all be hushed up.

    you had me m0lested as a child. you put some sort of monitoring/behaviour modifying chip in my head when i was a child. and you are using me and other “stepfords” to try and implement your new world order… a future where all children will be chipped.

    you are the scum of the earth. and no amounts of threats or fear will stop me or others from exposing you.


  21. 44
    Ed Miliband, international laughing stock says:

    Miliband = Mad Franky Hollande


  22. 47
    5.25 mm and proud of it says:

    You’d have had to be a pretty committed socialist to kiss Gordon Brown.


  23. 54
    Rory Smith says:

    Miliband is popular with the ladies.
    He will stand up for working and lower middle class people. The BNP, the tories and UKIP only care about the rich.


  24. 64
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Did she have a yellow labrador?


  25. 67
    Justin Poofyboots says:

    ‘ Well there is at least one small
    business owner left in the country who
    likes Labour.”

    A true blonde!


    • 72
      Beeboid PR Dept says:

      Get her on the press review sofa next week and see if she is free for QT the week after.


  26. 71
    Sally Bercow says:

    No its ok its totally allowed but he is not black enough for me.


  27. 82
    Anonymous says:

    “there is at least one small business owner left in the country who likes Labour.”
    It’s a canine.


  28. 83
    Max the "Acorn" says:

    I must be innocent, I haven’t got a portion big enough for Sally Bercow


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,646 other followers