March 28th, 2014

Caption Contest Winner

The winner of a bunch of Mother’s Day flowers courtesy of Arena Flowers is:

Vinny says:

“Do you expect me not to talk to Labour?” – “No Mr Cable …. I expect you to die!”

Get in touch with your mum’s address and Arena Flowers will sort her out with a Mother’s Day bouquet.


  1. 1
    Justin Bieber, superstar says:

    Our Yvette’s accent

    Clearly the Shadow Cabinet hss serious things to discuss

    Whatever next?

    The size of their dicks and cameltoes?

  2. 2
    Andy Sawford says:

    Get in touch with your mum’s address and Arena Flowers will sort her out with a Mother’s Day bouquet.

    Prizes are wrong, just like free coffee from Waitrose.

    Talking of which, put this coffee on my expenses.

  3. 3
    kebab time says:

    Congratulations winner

  4. 4
    I hate Labour says:

    Good joke, but shouldn’t it be Mr Clegg, not Cable?

  5. 5
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:


  6. 6
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    agree with B*lly

  7. 7
    This is what happens when you're in the nasty party says:

    I have no sympathy.

    One of Labour’s rising stars has claimed she is shunned by colleagues because she speaks with a middle-class, southern accent. Shadow transport secretary Mary Creagh revealed she is the victim of inverse snobbery because she does not have a ‘broad regional accent’. Miss Creagh said she had been the victim of ‘throwaway comments’ and ‘assumptions’ about her upbringing from her own side.

  8. 8
    I hate Labour says:

    Yeah, sorry, got my wires crossed. I blame the very hot burritto I had for lunch.

  9. 9
    A.I.D.S says:

    Fuck off 8illy.

  10. 10
    Max Ciff'ard says:

    Can everybody just stop already.

  11. 11
    I hate Labour says:

    Do you like button mushrooms?

  12. 12
    Adolf Miliband says:

    Karl Marx, my great uncle, said

    We will defeat capitalism by class warfare

  13. 13
    Labour woman says:

    I prefer designer v a g I n a s

    They are all the rage now

  14. 14
    The Civil Service says:

    We shall leave your mums address (with another 50,000 or so) on a USB stick on the 3:40 from Euston to Manchester

  15. 15
    jgm2 says:

    It’s not just the Labour Party. The North of England and Fucking Scotland are all like that.

    Inverse snobbery.

    Still. Keeps them where they are.

  16. 16
    Lord Owen Jones of The Cottage says:

    While masturbation is a touchy subject, oral sex is a matter of taste.

  17. 17
    Yvette Cooper says:

    Ee by gum, ecky thump and what-ho! Ilkley Moor bar tat, eh what?

    I’m a proper northern oik type! I say, Jings and Crivvens! This will help us connect with those less fortunate than myself, namely the scrotes that live north of Watford, the poor souls. We’re bound to secure over 30% of the vote at the general election this time, by eck!

    Hey Ed, hast thou bin briefing against thy namesake again this afternoon? Hoots mon, one day I shall become leader! Don’t forget your whippets and flat cap and remember to order the liver and onions when you’re in the wine bar with a journalist, it’s what those grim people eat. Tally-ho!

  18. 18
    Why says:

    Have you sharted?

  19. 19
    jgm2 says:

    Yvette Cooper. Leader of the opposition in June 2015.

  20. 20
    I hate Labour says:

    No but my tongue felt new levels of pain.

  21. 21
    I hate Labour says:

    I hope she and Ed stay at the forefront of Labour for many years. Ed is electoral poison and long may he continue.

  22. 22
    Mark Oaten says:

    I prefer a nutty taste, with the odd tomato skin and peanut.

  23. 23
    I hate Labour says:

    I can tell you’re not so much a cunning linguist as someone whose diet consists of regular hot beef injections.

  24. 24
    , says:

    Tripe, fackdo.

  25. 25
    jgm2 says:

    The funny thing is that Cooper will be touting the ‘buy one get one free’ angle as a PLUS in her bid for party leadership. The implication being that she’ll always have somebody she can trust to run the numbers by rather than Useless Ned who is afraid Balls would shaft him just to watch him fail.

    Meanwhile the electorate will be hiding behind the sofa at the thought of that fucking lunatic Balls being let near the piggy bank.

  26. 26
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Don’t blame me,I voted for David Davis.

  27. 27
    Ben says:

    Nick Clegg is a Hunt?

  28. 28
    Ben says:

    Sorry….I meant Hunt

  29. 29
    Ben says:


    Hunt, with a C!

  30. 30
    Mong Watch says:

    Like a Chunt ?

  31. 31
    Try the Food banks says:

    Sell by date are always very short with these offers.

  32. 32
    Ben says:

    Kind of. But it’s a silent H

  33. 33
    Tom Wätson says:

    Wrong, I’ll be leader.

  34. 34
    Ben says:

    Nick Clegg is a “Chunt” (Thats “Chunt” with a silent H)

    What about that that for your ‘Comment of the Day’ Guido?

    Go on, I dare you!

  35. 35
    M102 says:

    Chuka’s a designer v@gina in those suits.

  36. 36
    Reverend Flowers says:

    Bugger me!

  37. 37
    Useless Ed Miliband says:

    Ah, so that would explain why you voted for me as leader.

    I actually voted for my brother by mistake.

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Lord Owen Jones of The Cottage says:

    Who’s Cameron?

    And a video to remind you

  40. 40
    Lard Rennard says:

    Least we’re not groping them now…honest

  41. 41
    Maria Miller says:

    I’m off to fiddle some more expenses.

  42. 42
    Yvette says:

    Ee, youse maght be interested in mar boook, “The Art of Flippin'” by me pet ferret, Ed Balls

  43. 43
    Shawn_Connely says:

    Is that Auric?

  44. 44
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Its Friday. Give me beer and pizza please. GIVE ME!

  45. 45
    Tony Blair is a war criminal says:

    Yippee, today bum sex marriage can be carried out.

  46. 46
    Lord and Lady Establishment-Stooge of Brussels says:

    Born in Coventry.
    Studied at Oxford.
    Labour lackey then Leader of LB Islington.
    Backed Gordon Brown as Labour Leader.
    Backed RoboDave as Labour Leader.
    Chair of Labour Movement For Europe.

    Never done a decent day’s work in her life or been to Wakefield before 2005.

  47. 47
    broderick crawford says:

    no the yre not they re coming to the end of their sell by .


  48. 48
    broderick crawford says:

    no . Yoric here … and I m very poor .

  49. 49
    comp kid says:

    Miliband and Balls sound pretty posh to me.

  50. 50
    she's bestie mates with BBC boss Purnell says:

    Didn’t she go to a posh school in leafy Hampshire
    followed by a obtaining first in PPE from Balliol,Oxford?
    Talking with a northern accent won’t eradicate that
    privileged past.

  51. 51
    well says:

    She’d need to ditch dead weight Balls if
    she’s serious about a leadership bid.

  52. 52
    Quadricurious says:

    “LB Islington”? Is that the middle part of GLBT?

  53. 53
    Champagne Socialist says:

    I am genuine working class and so are my daughter’s ponies!

  54. 54
    East India Company Wallah says:

    i will vote tory

  55. 55
    A Citizen says:

    Don’t blame me, I voted for Bus Pass Elvis.

  56. 56
    The Wild Colonial Boy says:

    High marks for obscenity, low marks for wit. In sum, not up to the top standard of Guido’s blog.

  57. 57
    Jacobite half-seas over the water says:

    This is not the true voice of our leader. Whatever his actual needs may be, he expresses them in a far more sophisticated and subtle way.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    “Caption Contest”
    Wow! The greatest degree of enlightenment from a tiny spark, any voter’s ever likely to see around here. ‘Til the revolution…

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Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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