March 26th, 2014

WATCH: Crystal Methodist’s Bizarre Newsnight Rant

Paul Flowers gave a Huhne-esque interview to Jeremy Paxman last night, clearly in denial about his Co-op clusterf**k and accusing the Mail on Sunday of having “pseudo-fascist far right tendencies” and stitching him up. But then paranoid delusions are one of the side effects of doing a load of ket every day.


  1. 1
    Chris Huhne says:

    We must resort to shooting the messenger much more often.


    • 19
      Chris Smith Predatory Gayer says:

      Cor, he’s a hunk.


      • 69
        Apostate in sheeps clothing. says:

        The apostate would have us believe that at no time during these rigourus interviews was he ever asked the standard question or a variation of it of why he thought he was the right man for the job . Liar .


        • 71
          broderick crawford says:

          All very well saying you were SELECTED for the job Mr Flowers by tiers of savants who with hindsight turned out to hava as much wisdom in their selection of a bsnk chairman as Solomon had in his selection of female tonsurators –BUT — did it never occur to you to ask yourself whether you were being OVER PROMOTED and withdraw of your own accord ?

          Or was it a question if enjoy the money until it lasts and when you are sooner ir later found out — do a runner ??!


    • 46
      Q'et Amin says:

      I’m a socialist and I’m not Ok
      I wank all night and I take drugs all day
      I hug some trees
      I skip and jump
      I take some class A drugs
      I put on women’s clothing
      and pay rent boys for some hugs


      • 65
        Dangerous Brian says:



      • 66
        Dangerous Brian says:

        Verse 2.
        I’m a socialist and I’m not okay
        I snort all night and I pork all day
        I score some crack
        some ket and hash
        Then call my rent boy too
        I put it in his mouth h*le
        and also in his flue


  2. 2
    Michael Gove's SPAD says:

    Massive support to those striking today, I’ve seen too many good teachers leave broken and dejected. Gove out!


    • 3
      Speedster says:

      errr, no.


      • 21
        C.O.Jones says:

        Thank you. Gove is the right man at the right time – he also has the overwhelming support of parents.
        He is doing a difficult job and doing it well.


      • 67
        Vlad the Loudhailer says:

        I hope that parents whose children have been excluded from school due to strike action shut can now start legal action to recover £60 per pupil per day. As this is the amount head teachers fine parents for taking their children out of school during term time.


    • 9
      Mick Salazar says:

      Teachers are free to leave if they’re not up to the job. Let them get a job in the real world, maybe start a business in competition with others and see how they cope.

      I’ve never met a “profession” that loves to moan as much. School opens at 8.45, closes at 3.30pm and don’t get me started on all those holidays.

      I know some Staff Room whinger will say they have homework to mark and classes to prepare but it doesn’t take all that much time.


      • 15
        Mitch says:

        It’s at least a day a week and possibly two if done properly (some don’t). I wouldn’t teach secondary for triple the salary. I don’t agree with the NUT but if teachers feel they have to strike then that’s up to them. A lot aren’t.


    • 26
      Keitho says:

      Gove has been a brilliant Secretary for Education why would you want him out.

      If those rapscallions and malcontented Marxist teachers want to strike fore more bucks so be it. Gove is more concerned with getting the children a better education while making sure our taxes are used effectively and efficiently. The striking teachers obviously have a different agenda but that doesn’t make Gove wrong.


      • 38
        jgm2 says:

        The language of the grievances listed on the BBC was quite funny it seems the government had ‘Persistently failed to address their concerns…’ The whole thing read like a list of reasons the teachers had for giving the naughty government a detention.


      • 54
        The view from yesterday says:

        Prime Minister David Cameron says:
        March 26, 2014 at 7:20 am

        Solidarity with striking teachers and NUT today. That imbecile Gove is fundamentally wrong.
        Whirly Shilliams says:
        March 26, 2014 at 7:38 am

        Sack the fucking lot of them and let them re-apply for their jobs, after having retaken (and passed!) serious level exams in their teaching subjects. Let’s see what these cvnts are really made of. We just might then be able to restart our education systems properly.
        Why is Dr Liam Fox no longer our Defence Secretary says:
        March 26, 2014 at 8:10 am

        I refuse to let any teacher striking today teach any of my kids in the future.

        A child’s interests are paramount.

        A full list of strikers should be published so that parents can better protect their children.
        nell says:
        March 26, 2014 at 8:34 am

        Given the dire standard of state education in some places – thanks to 13 years of labour dumbing down – the poor kids are probably better off at home or wondering around the streets.

        Gove’s doing good job in bringing up standards in state education but like the economy he inherited a hell of a mess from labour and it’s going to take a long time to turn it around and to get rid of rubbish teachers of which there are too many.

        What are they striking for anyway? Bet its something to do with their gold plated pensions!!
        Dmitri from Cyprus says:
        March 26, 2014 at 9:03 am

        Makes it easier to make an improvement if you inherit a mess.

        The only thing then is that you yourself regard mid table mediocrity as a success.

        When you start slagging off the previous incumbents in anything it is a clear indication you are not going to dramatically improve anything substantially.


    • 49
      lefti teecha says:

      Bloody Gove is such a Tory!

      He wants me to teach da kidz science and maths
      but St B£air was happy for me to teach them climate warming and homosexual propaganda – and trust me that’s a lot easier!


    • 63
      I dislike socialists intensely says:

      Over the last 20 years the teaching profession has lost a lot of respect .They are
      led by Labour political idiots who have trashed their once good name .


    • 64
      Rob says:

      £60 fine for every striking teacher, per day of absence. What’s good for the goose is good for the Marxist rabble, I always say.


  3. 4
    Anti EU Fucker says:

    Vote UKIP


  4. 5
    Speechless says:

    I’m Speechless


  5. 6
    Silent Majority says:

    He destroyed the bank while high on drugs and probing the rented rectums and is now trying to seek the sympathy card? Sorry, he’s lost the plot.


    • 62
      Barnyard Hogan How? says:

      Sob, Sob t wasn’t me that did for it, it wasn’t me who put myself up for candidacy it was the other tossers. I’m just the drug taking renter of boys why would I be the one! He’s a total Ars***ole! Don’t worry petal I’ll look into it for you and then lose the papers that would find you guilty.


  6. 7
    FrankFisher says:

    BBC fawning over Lefties, we expect. But BBC fawning over drug-crazed, sexually demented, corrupt incompetent religious fruitcake Lefties, we don’t

    Oh, wait, maybe…

    You have to wonder what the Beeb would do with Mao these days. Probably give him a job on Newsnight


    • 73
      broderick crawford says:

      Paxo was about as fericious as a dead sheepdog .

      Wonder who told him to give Flower Pot the easiest ride since Lady Godiva ??


  7. 8
    Mitch says:

    It was indeed a strange interview. Having seen Flowers’ text conversations in the papaers I would say he knew exactly what he was doing with drugs and rent boys, and this pious soft-spoken performance is a charade.

    The Mail obviously isn’t fascist, and it isn’t very right wing. It’s old fashioned and anacronistic, but harmless, as is any mainstream newspaper.


    • 22
      jgm2 says:

      The Mail is designed to give you a fucking heart attack.

      Every article is written from the perspective ‘How can we present this so as to get people as furious as possible’?

      So ‘Dog bites man’ becomes ‘Chav’s Rabid Pitbull Savages Pensioner’.

      ‘Clinton Malfoy, 21, who lives with his girlfriend and her five children in a seven-bedroom luxury tax-payer provided council house was today unrepentant….’

      Toot-toot, pressure building, toot-toot

      ‘…. after his dog bit Pensioner Trent Derby, aged 67, a retired Sub Post-master on the leg….’

      …whistle, whistle, eyes begin to bulge, vein throbs in temple, loss of vision…

      I bet a massively disproportionate number of pensioners are found slumped in their armchair clutching a copy of The Mail compared to any other paper. And by disproportionate I mean taking into consideration the fact that The Mail sells 10x more papers than (say) the Grauniad.


      • 24
        M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

        I wouldn’t be seen dead reading the Guardian.


        • 34
          jgm2 says:

          Very good. But you might be caught out reading The Mail.

          The Mail must be a bit like cigarettes. People just get addicted to the righteous fury the experience while reading it and are heedless of the long-term damage and the effect on their blood pressure. The fucking thing is killing them and they can’t seem to stop.


      • 55
        Old Codger says:

        If you know what is in every article you must be an avid reader.


      • 74
        broderick crawford says:

        sorry jgm but are you but are you a social cretin as well as an economic retard ?

        People buy ten times more copies of one paper over another because ….er … they like it . It s called free choice .

        Also , pitbulls et al do not just bite pensioners kneecaps off — they have more frequently been known to savage sleeping or defencekess young chikdren who have not yet mastered the art of reading .

        Go figure … Merlo !!!!


  8. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    Why is this man given airtime? Oh yes he is saying the Government put pressure on him the buy Lloyds shares


  9. 11
    octavius tinsworth ace says:

    Other Paxo interview highlights: –

    Pol Pot “nobody had any objections at the time..”
    Stalin “as well as the liquidation of the kulaks I had to cope with the sad decline of my mother…”
    Hitler ” that matter is the subject of an ongoing criminal enquiry so I’d rather not say anything just now…”


  10. 13
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    Flowers is a high-functioning moral imbecile. Perhaps we should classify it as a disability so he can apply for incap.


  11. 14
    Labouring in delusion says:

    Bradford links yet again. Celebrating mediocrity.


  12. 16

    Yorkshire man with piles goes into the corner shop
    “Does sell arse cream” he askes
    Aye lad we have Magnums and Cornettos in’t fridge


  13. 17
    A Smackhead from Benefits Street says:

    Once a smack head always a smack head.


  14. 18
    Gerbil 7 says:

    BBC at it again.
    First nothing about Labour’s Harriden then an interview where a complete defence was mounted and now a completely free run allowed for this bloke who managed a company that donated/loaned millions to Labour.
    Privatise the bastard thing.


  15. 20
    The BBC says:

    Mr Paxo has been reprimanded this morning for speaking about rentboys and drugs

    It is politically incorrect to speak about these things since we are the biggest consumers of both, um er, products in London


  16. 25
    Vanity Fair Culture Vulture says:

    He must have been given his daily dose in the green room

    Good for flagging BBC ratings though


  17. 27
    Co-Op The Effical Bank says:

    In order to maintain our ethical credibility, all employees must inject between their toes so the needle trace cannot be spotted by members of the press/public.


  18. 28
    Oxford PPE student says:

    What is ket please Guido?

    Do I have to use it to become a star?


  19. 29
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    Sexual depravation is in the BBC DNA.

    How can Paxman ever consider himself to be a serious journalist & presenter from now on.

    The best thing that happened yesterday was MPs paving the way for the decriminalisation the offence of Not Having a TV Licence. The end for the BBC is in sight.


    • 35
      C.O.Jones says:

      The fact that it ever was a criminal offence in the first place makes one wonder about the judicial system in this country. Perfunctory box ticking at its best.


      • 61
        Jack Ketch says:

        The criminal sanction was introduced in 1947 when combined television and radio licenses were introduced. The Atlee government of the time was working on wartime (Soviet Russian) rules for just about everything–they extended the criminalisation of all kinds of activity, including (technically) helping your neighbour move his furniture for a fee and failing to report the death of a pig. I still have my National Identity Card, failure of which to carry while in my pram would have incurred a fine of up to five pounds or three months in prison.


    • 41
      Mind the gap says:

      Depravity or deprivation? Probably the same difference for that lot.


  20. 30
    Harley Street specialist says:

    Does he take ket orally or anally?

    Big difference you know


  21. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Flowers is a vile repulsive man and a complete drug addled nutter with no credibility whatsoever. How he has been able to get away with all this for so long is something of a mystery.


  22. 32

    Breaking news

    A new drug craze is sweeping Yorkshire
    It involves injecting Extacy just above the front teeth

    Police have called it “E by Gum


  23. 33
    FT correspondent says:

    He represents a normal London banker

    Most of them are stoned

    Otherwise, how could they have brought the banking system to its knees?


    • 45
      Mind the gap says:

      You mean most of then should be stoned for what they have done etc. I’ll give the local mosque a ring and see what can be arranged.


  24. 36
    Guido's sidecar says:

    Holy Moly


  25. 37
    Higella says:

    How could this happen to a holy man?


  26. 39
    Tom Baldwin says:

    Seems a normal kind of chap to me


  27. 40
    Caligula says:

    Beats me for an answer


  28. 42
    Chess player says:

    It is called the Mcshameless defence


  29. 43
    If the cap fits ... says:


    • 47
      Mind the gap says:

      Maybe your colleaagues are at last coming to their senses and acknowledging all the damned damage you and your lot caused.


    • 53
      Bigfoot says:

      About time as Labour was voting against all the other welfare reforms.


  30. 44
    Porno Alky Campbell says:

    I prepared his script


  31. 52
    I Disagree says:

    No I don’t.


  32. 56
    Old Codger says:

    Flowers claims that the Co-op was under pressure from the government to take over the Lloyds Bank branches yet last year before a select committee he said that there had been no interference and no undue pressure. Yet another lying b(w)anker.


    • 59
      Tony Blair/David Cameron, joined at the hip says:

      There is no financial regulation in Cesspit City

      How do you think our backers rip off billions?


    • 68
      Rob says:

      Hmm, which one of those interviews was under oath and which one was to a sympathetic ideological ally?

      Answers on a crisp £30 note.


  33. 58
    Anonymous says:

    “paranoid delusions”
    Just because one is paranoid, doesn’t mean they are not out to get you. To demonstrate this: Simply continue asking questions, concerning contradictions/hypocrisy in the statements of those who have suddenly gone silent on a matter.


  34. 60
    Why don't they? says:

    let John Humphrys loose on that “poor me” Flowers?


  35. 70
    UK Fred says:

    You could sum the entire interview up with “A big boy did it and ran away”


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