March 26th, 2014

Tired, Exhausted, Nothing to Say, Time for Them to Go…


The Parliamentary Lobby yesterday had the usual afternoon briefing scheduled with the Prime Minister’s Official Spokesman (PMOS). This is where the gentlemen of the Lobby are spoonfed some copy to take down or, as they see it, perform a vital service to democracy by holding the executive to account. The finest of the free press toiling for democracy and truth!

The Lobby is a self-selecting privileged cartel given access to briefings denied to the rest of the media, with their own secret rules to protect members and exclude competitors. The justifications are varied, sometimes they argue that they want to reserve the cartel for professional inquisitors not politically motivated bloggers with an agenda. That must be why the Morning Star and the unprinted Tribune newspaper are Lobby members.

Yesterday at the Lobby briefing not one single question was asked of the executive and a bemused PMOS wandered back to Downing Street untroubled. A proud day for the Lobby and British journalism. Nothing to see here…

UPDATE: A senior Lobby correspondent writes, presumably on non-attributable Lobby terms:

The lobby is almost always a useless waste of time. It is a chore not a secret pleasure. Leaving was a statement about the pointlessness of a Number 10 press operation that refuses to say anything rather than about the corruption of the lobby.


  1. 1
    Phantomsby says:

    Human Caterpillar journalism.


    • 10
      He's not pleased and He does want it reopened. What a Twat MacShane is says:


    • 23
      Nick Robinson says:

      A bit unfair Guido, I for one asked what day it was.


      • 48
        broderick crawford says:

        If it s PMQ s it must be a nationsl holiday coz everyone s ‘ avin’ a right larf… .


    • 44
      Sarah Millington says:

      Everytime that smug sanctimonious Nick Robinson appears on my radio in the morning I just think:

      “You did not tell us about McBride or Brown or Blair or Campbell because you wanted to keep your lobby pass & your expense account”

      What a miserable excuse for a journalist Toenails is.


  2. 2
    Rev Flours says:

    Meanwhile in other news

    Socialists express surprise that energy prices fall when you cut green taxes.


  3. 3
    Uncle Fester says:

    I presume you don’t get invited then?


  4. 4
    Andrew Efiong says:

    That sounds like a long way of saying “Guido wants a lobby pass”!


  5. 6
    Newsfox says:

    But why didn’t they ask any questions – nothing whatsoever to do with lobby and everything to do with the matrix of right wing proprietors and corporate priorities.


    • 17
      jgm2 says:

      What’s the point of asking any questions? They just get a stock ‘reply’.

      Not asking questions is the way forward. Fuck ‘em. Stop asking these c*unts questions you know they’re not going to answer and go and find out the answers yourselves you lazy c*unts.

      They’re not journalists at all. They should be fucking ashamed of themselves. Said it during the Brown imbecility and it’s still true. There is a world of political shit and corruption out there at every single level. Town, city, county and national and these fuckers are too lazy or too frightened to go after it.

      So fuck them and their fucking lobby pass. Useless c*unts.

      The only publication that does anything like a decent job s Private Eyue. And yet we, the populace, treat it as a bit of a fucking laugh these rotten boroughs and crookery and corruption and defence chiefs walking straight into six figure jobs with defence firms.

      Ha, ha, just politicos being politicos. Taking all our fucking money and robbing us. Ho-de-ho-ho. Never mind. Just what they do, eh.

      The c*unts should be swinging from lamp-posts and we shrug our shoulders. Fourth estate my arse.


    • 18
      M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

      You did note that the rabid right-wing Morning Star was in attendance?


  6. 7
    The real news says:

    The cockpit was taken out by missile over Northern Malaysia.
    This is why the transponder ended and the plane carried on flying.
    Cabin pressure was non existent and therefore no mobile calls were sent.
    Who pulled the trigger?


    • 11
      RomaBob...benefits for all! says:

      I hear there are lots of Chinese passengers sitting on a wing p*ssed off, shouting, weeping and wailing at the passing ships down there in the southern Indian Ocean :)


    • 33
      Bill Quango MP says:

      A missile hits yet doesn’t destroy the plane? A missile that targets heat signatures doesn’t hit an engine? Or an all aspect missile fails to damage a single control surface or a single electrical component that is used for control of an aircraft? And the missile turns off the transponder but not the fuel tank switch?

      Your ‘theory’ is less credible than saying a UFO took the plane.


      • 37
        An alternative idea says:

        Maybe the co-pilot opened a window to throw his ciggie butt out and the ensuing explosive decompression took everything out?


        • 39
          Bill Quango MP says:

          More likely the in flight movie was that boring Russel Crowe Robin Hood and everyone fell asleep. Meanwhile the pilots were watching Breaking Bad dvd boxset and were so engrossed they forgot to fly and the plane ran out of fuel.


      • 42
        The real news says:

        Your theory of a heat seeking missile is not a consideration but everything else is.
        Fuel is held midway on the fuselage and feeds engines at that point.
        You haven’t explained the no phone calls part.
        The plane flew aimlessly until it ran out of fuel.
        The flight recorder records only the last two hours.


        • 46
          Telecoms Engineer says:

          It was dark so the passengers wouldn’t have known where they were: they didn’t know there was a problem. Mobiles are usually switched off during flight. There are no mobile phone masts in the Indian Ocean. Even if there were, mobile phones don’t work at altitude.


  7. 8
    Russel Brand says:

    Its time Newsnight had a new front-man.
    Put Paxo out to pasture and let a world renowned, infastublle , eclectic imagineer , such as my skinny good-self.
    I would confunder the interviewee with a plethora of platitudal social science phrases wrapped in covering of philosophy ‘A’ level and a wrapping of open university Psychology.

    Nietzsche said “Start every day off with a smile and get it over with…” or was that Graham Norton? Anyway the obliivium, esoteric, rare earth words that tumble formed as shinning diamonds of witty wisdom from my lips, these lips, these lips that have tasted the sweet fruit of Katie Perry’s juices; these lips pour out an essence of the majesty that is created from within, inside. Ingested by the osmosis of television and twitter is a social revolution , unstoppable in its own formation of comet tailed brightness without the need for apparel or timing.
    Its a given that It ain’t what you do, but the way that you do it..{continues for 94 minutes}


    • 21
      M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

      You should be able to get your favourite “pre-existing paradigm” in twice a night.


  8. 9
    Anna Soubry says:

    Fingers up bottom time on today’s Daily Politics


  9. 12
    Expensive_Raymond says:

    Don’t trust lobbies. Never hang my coat there.


  10. 13
    Analyst says:


    Guido has been boozing with the boys again


  11. 14
    All right says:

    Spoonfed by Spoonface

    It goes with the territory


  12. 15
  13. 16
    Editor of the Sun says:

    What was Joey doing?

    A Toenails?


  14. 19
    C O (Ξ7i) says:

    Post Leveson there is no free press in the UK.


    • 32
      C.O.Jones says:

      I could never understand the whole point of the Leveson Inquiry.

      If the media libeled or slandered someone then they have access to the Law to gain redress (and rather large compensations).

      What was the point?


  15. 22
    Editor of the Tatler says:

    Is my favourite cheeky correspondent Sophie Ridge a member of the Lobby?

    Don’t tell me she… is too awful to think….


  16. 28
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    There are around 1.5 billion Chinese in the world.

    Why is everyone so upset by 200 going missing in the Indian Ocean?


  17. 30
    Winston says:

    The Ukraine problems have shown up the UK Media as wholly in the pocket of the political elite. The lies and hypocrisy emanating on our airwaves and in print is unbelievable. As with the left-wing BBC, the mainstream media do not care anymore that free-thinking people can see through the lies. Probably, because free thinkers are in the minority.


  18. 31
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    No one pays any attention to what these lap dogs say anyway.


  19. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Er, Tribune is ‘un-printed’? My copy still arives fortnightly. Perhaps Guido should get a subscription or order it from his newsagent?


  20. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Hansard debate
    Max Madden, MP for Bradford South, Hansard, 6 April 1989

    “That this House congratulates Martin Short on the publication of his book, Inside the Brotherhood ; notes that the honourable Members for Ilford South, Croydon South, Chichester, Erewash, Banbury and Belfast North told Mr. Short they were Masons ; further notes that Mr. Short believes that the honourable Members for Bury South, Reading East and Keighley are Masons ; and finally notes Mr. Short reveals the Masonic Lodge to which Right honourable and honourable Members, Parliamentary Officers and staff belong is called the New Welcome Lodge (5139) which was consecrated in 1929 and meets five times a year at Freemason’s Hall in London…

    … and that Parliamentary Journalists who are Masons belong to the Gallery Lodge (1928) “


Media Reader

Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette
Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
All Star Line Up for New BBC Theme Park | David Keighley
City AM’s Kate McCann Joins The Sun | MediaGuido
What Has 57 Heads, 12 Controllers and 321 Editors? | Press Gazette
Where are Brand’s Ideas? | Nigel Farage
BBC’s Biased Drama | Tim Montgomerie
Yet Another Press Freedom Row | Mail
Blair Gong for Deng Dong | Speccie
Philosopher King of Networked Journalism Stands Down | Charlie Beckett

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Labour insiders turn on Ed over Powell’s latest gaffe:

“When is he going to stop promoting useless people? He was warned about her.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,641 other followers