March 26th, 2014

Ed Tries to Heal Turkish Relations After Schoolboy Race Shame

Since that whole beer thing didn’t go so well Ed has been looking for something a bit more believable to show he is a normal bloke. The answer: kebabs. Miliband has praised the launch of the British Kebab magazine and this year’s associated British Kebab Awards, they of the dodgy Labour doners:

This new-found love of Turkey’s national dish will come as a surprise to Ed’s old classmate Kevin Mustafa, who the future Labour leader allegedly abused as a “Turkish b*stard” back at school. Kevin famously told the Mail in 2011:

“We did not agree on something and I belittled him and dismissed him as if what he said was a stupid comment. In retaliation, he lashed out with verbal abuse. He called me a Turkish b*stard so I hit him. I gave my reasons as to why I did it but was dismissed and I was suspended for three days. He was not a friend of mine but we sat in the same class. Although he was no better than us he had quite a high opinion of himself. He tried to come across as if he was more intelligent. Most of the time we let it pass but I lost my rag that day.”

Just another pitta-ful gimmick…


  1. 1
    Shooty* says:

    God, what a wonderful feeling it must give that man to know that he punched Milliband.

  2. 2
    Boris says:

    I’ll teach him a thing or two about the Turks

  3. 3
    Opinionated Cabby says:

    Must have hit him pretty hard by look and sound of it

  4. 4
    A Misogynist says:

    Surprised you didn’t headline with DONER KEBABS :-)

  5. 5
    Bloody immigrants. Nowt but trouble says:

    Russian immigrant is beaten up by Turkish immigrant.

  6. 6
    Garfield says:

    You could sell tickets to watch Milliband being punched.

  7. 7
    Britain's Obama's Verdict says:

  8. 8
    Ben Brogan, last sane man in Britain says:

    We are measuring PR cocks in the High Court

    And Ed has reduced himself to kebabtime

    I think I will take my coat now

  9. 9
    Kebab Time says:


  10. 10
    Ed Militwerp says:

    Mithter Speaker, it’th a Cotht of Kebabth Cwithith!

  11. 11
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    You forgot the word shadow chukup old son;

  12. 12
    Krupp says:

    The Turk’s head is a Top Knot. What have the Milibands given the world?

  13. 13
    Garfield says:

    You have to be out of your freaking mind, we all know you are thick but to big up the Millitwat after today’s performance is ludicrous.

  14. 14
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

  15. 15
    Ed Miliband real ale lover says:

    These kebabs are too hot and too spicey.

  16. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    He’s a Raita not a fighter

  17. 17
    C.O.Jones says:

    “He tried to come across as if he was more intelligent.”

    So many people feel that intelligence stems from spouting the dogma of socialism, it does not, it shows that you have no opinion yourself and have to rely on the production line of stupidity to get your “intelligence” across.

  18. 18
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Now I understand about Miliband’s nose.

  19. 19
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    NHS again?, (not enough).

  20. 20
    Sir Shyte White, put out to grass says:

    I am glad someone maintains this ancient British lamping tradition

    The pornographer Campbell, the protegee of Bob Bob Bobbing Maxwell, was also a skillful practitioner, when he was sober…

  21. 21
    Tayyip Erdogan says:


  22. 22
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    The Milibands have taken this country for a free ride.

  23. 23
    Common Man says:

    Pay per punch ?

  24. 24
    Chuka Umunna says:

    Cameron was poor, but he still won. Glad to clarify.

  25. 25
    Campbell in claret says:

    I am so depressed

  26. 26
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Pork kebab anyone?

  27. 27
    Fry on BBC dildo says:

    So am I

  28. 28
    Mitch says:

    Describing Kebabs as “high quality food” is pushing it a bit.

  29. 29
    B A Caracas says:

    I pitta the fool…

  30. 30
    Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

    Talking of punches that didn’t happen, but bloody well should have, did anyone else hear IDS being questioned on the Toady programme this morning? Evan Davis asked questions and then talked loudly as IDS tried to reply. It’s one of the most shockingly rude BBC breaches of protocol I’ve heard in a while. Evan’s attitude completely destroyed the whole point of the interview. IDS was trying, quite correctly, to say the benefits bill HAS to be cut back, but of course this didn’t suit either the shirt-lifting interview or his employer.

  31. 31
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    Give that man a kebab.

  32. 32
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    that Richard Bacon is another complete prat ( just had to turn the radio off ) and I think the bbc should get rid of him.

  33. 33
    Gary Bloke says:

    Hit him again, Kev.

  34. 34
    Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

    Oops! That should be ‘interviewer.’

  35. 35
    Careful_John says:

    The sentence next to Miliband’s giant forehead reads “I know that the industry provides an important contribution to the economy and food industry offer country.”

    Presumably that last bit is some sort of NuLab text speak for “of our country”, but it looks like this one was given to the intern, so I don’t think British Kebab should feel too honoured by the endorsement.

  36. 36
    Vote UKIP, clean up Britain says:

    Looke like the endless fucking arab ysraeli war again to me

    Can’t they do their fighting in the Middle East?

    We try to be civilised here…

  37. 37
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Hey its not like he went round in a Nazi uniform or anything is it. Nobody in Labour would have done that would they?

  38. 38
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    a bowline is a terrific knot

  39. 39
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    I am pleased that Ed Miliband has found the time to highlight this issue in the difficult times we now face, I have always subscribed to the British Kebab magazine, a jolly good read, and I can also recommend the Chinese Border Collie cookery book weekly.

  40. 40
    Kebabtime says:

    My cock is bigger than yours

  41. 41
    C O (Ξ7i) says:

    T’urkey is more interested in the SCO these days.

    But a little bit to their north:

    Could be cyber maskirovka, IMINT would confirm.

    Thank’s to the combination of S’nowden and D’elisle SIGINT is likely not be able to confirm exactly what the movements are about if they are happening.

  42. 42
    Yowling from the minaret says:

    Twit. That depends on who makes them and what meat is used. By the way kebabs are not exclusive to Turkey. They may be found all over the middle east and the sub-continent. The frogs call them brochettes – which sounds much posher than kofta.

  43. 43
    Bertie Blunt says:

    Also, Ed should be hyphenating the adjectival “high-quality”.

    In addition, Ed’s phrase “offer country” is, I think, meant to be “of our country”. I know that he has odd speech patterns, but even so.

  44. 44

    But not quite hard enough.

  45. 45
    Seychelles here I come... says:

    I heard it. If you listen again, you’ll hear Davis mutter ‘so frustrating….’ when he fails to cut off IDS.

  46. 46
    C.O.Jones says:

    For those of you abroad, you can get tonight’s debate online (radio) here

    Stars at 7pm GMT.

  47. 47
    Wise Words says:

    Even a trained ape could have done a better job than Ed at PMQs today.

  48. 48
    Thrill Seeker says:

    I would love to have been there to see that

  49. 49
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Almost as rude as Eamonn Holmes interviewing David Laws on Sky this morning ??

  50. 50
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Which PMQs was he watching ???

  51. 51

    You can only beat what’s in front of you. Beating two eggs for an omelette would provide a greater challenge than beating hapless, hopeless Milliband

  52. 52
    Blowing Kosher Donkey Whistles says:

    For anyone in NYC…

    “How Bad is Modern European Ant!sem!tism? Making Sense of Contemporary European Ant!sem!tism in post-Holocaust Europe”

  53. 53
    Ed Milihero says:

    Dad was a borscht slurping Belgian non-surrender monkey

  54. 54
    John Bellingham says:

    Polish emigre.

  55. 55

    Enough rope to hang them by?

  56. 56
    ed milliband says:

    i don’t think being a “shirt lifter”is relevent to him being a Hunt though

  57. 57
    Garfield says:

    It just reminds of the phrase “he has a face which you would never tire of punching”

  58. 58
    BlackJack Dromey says:

    What’cha doing tonight?

  59. 59
    RSPCA says:

    If it wasn’t for kebab shops we would be overun with stray cats.

  60. 60
    Shit Kebab says:

    I prefer food that doesn’t smell like a wet flannel used by the chef to wipe his armpits.

  61. 61
    Ex banker says:


    I must object

    There is an ad on this site from an FX wallah offering leverage of 400 to 1 FFS

    If my wife takes it up, my fortune will disappear in minutes

    Are you trying to ruin us all?

  62. 62
    Richard says:

    The second sentence of Miliband’s piece doesn’t make sense.

  63. 63
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    tho’ this is stronger and you can do the first half of it, wrap the end around a tree or something and finish the rest of it.

  64. 64
    A neocon says:

    I think we have overplayed our hand

  65. 65
    Flat Leaflet Parsley says:

    Whenever a poltician starts a sentce with ‘I know…’ you can be sure that what follows will be gibberish

  66. 66
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Evan Davies is of course a Beeboid g*yboy with an agenda.
    He comes across as a total t*at but, like all leftist Beeboid troughers (and there are quite a lot of them), he has little shame and no self awareness whatsoever.
    Look in a mirror Evan, a face only a bUmboy could love.

  67. 67
    Guido fan says:

    This is getting very boring Guido

    Let’s have some totty

    There must be some beautiful Parliamentary assistants bending over desks now, shurely?

  68. 68
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Another mo*g living in a parallel universe where self awareness doesn,t exist.
    What a t*at.

  69. 69
    Dangerous Brian says:


  70. 70
    Jean-Eric Sartre says:

    Does that mean he wore a beret and pontificated a lot while he smoked Gauloise?

  71. 71
    Careful_John says:

    Tried to point that out earlier but was modded. I think “offer country” should say “of our country”, but it looks like this one was done by the intern doesn’t it?

    Not ever so much Labour respect for British Kebab, then!

  72. 72
    jdseanjd says:

    Twat does look like he got lost on the way to the 6th form.

  73. 73
    Well done BBC-digging tour own graves. says:

    I heard him ‘interviewing’ the actor Adrian Dunbar from Line of Duty-the poor actor wasn’t given the chance to say anything much at all as this twat kept rabbiting on endlessly with his own views on everything before they ran out of time. It was almost as if he was under the influence of something.

  74. 74
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    Do you think that that is why he talks funny?

  75. 75
    Error101 says:

    Well lash out on Firefox with adblock you tight fisted cvnt.

  76. 76
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    I almost feel sorry for Miliband , He is like a little boy lost .how on earth
    could this plonker possibly ever run the country ? At least Balls looks
    the part until he opens his mouth and then you realise what an ignorant
    economic prat he is .

  77. 77
    You know its the truth says:

    Don’t forget the boys,BlackJackDromey needs relief

  78. 78
    Richard says:

    Has anyone noticed? Does anyone care?

  79. 79
    Graham says:

    Yet another demonstration that Militwat is just a thick Hunt.

  80. 80
    ned ludd says:

    Turkish bastard? Waaaaa-cist!

  81. 81
    In A Flap says:

    give that man a knighthood

  82. 82
    Max Clifford says:

    Everyone’s is bigger than mine. Look at it. It’s pathetic, isn’t it?

  83. 83
    Oh, really? says:

    I can just imagine someone losing their rag with Ed Milliband.

  84. 84
    Myfanwy says:

    So that is the story of how Teddy got his black eyes, I always wondered and he gas them to this day, some thump

  85. 85
    Myfanwy says:

    As you are not Willie it is safe to say those kebab take aways stink, how can anyone eat that muck

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    “I know that the industry provides an important contribution to the economy and food industry offer country”

    Should that be food industry of our country?

    “he had quite a high opinion of himself. He tried to come across as if he was more intelligent”.

    Clearly Millionaireband is a sandwich short of a picnic!

  87. 87
    Steve says:

    Has anyone noticed that what he says doesn’t make sense?!? “…the industry provides an important contribution to the economy and food industry country” – time to sack the lacky who drafted that….

  88. 88
    Ex-Labour says:

    That’s it. All the metrosexual luvvies do this. it’s why they get so very very very upset whenever they lose an argument against a rational independently-minded person. They sthkweem and sthkweem the talking points from their chant-sheets until they’ve worked themselves up into such a tizzy that all they can ultimately muster is “waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayysiiiissssssssssst” and, on the way out, that they feel “disgusted” by you. They go fucking mental when you laugh at that.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Research by the UK’s Food Standards Agency in 2006 found that 18.5% of doner takeaways posed a “significant” threat to public health, and 0.8% posed an “imminent” threat.

    “But the majority of [British] people who eat doner kebabs are somewhat inebriated and so are not best placed to make decisions about healthy eating,” says Professor Langley-Evans.

    Just like the majority of Labour voters are somewhat fuckwitted and so not best placed to make decisions about good governance.

  90. 90
    Ex-Labour says:

    Yeah, what about the Greek kebabs? Souvlaki or summat similar… dunno… it’s all Greek. Tasty tho’.

    I think the Greek Embassy should make enquiries about Mili-junior’s apparent snub in favour of their friendly neighbours.

  91. 91
    Ex-Labour says:

    And a particularly laughable photo of the little twonk pulling his serious grown-up face next to that gem of socialist grammar.

  92. 92
    Harriet Harperson says:

    Jack’s is pickled in a jar so no more trouble from him, the old perv.

  93. 93
    Curious says:

    Militwit is a prat

  94. 94
    Russell Square says:

    Supporting Turkish kebab takeaways is giving uninformed, uncritical approval to hell-al meat. Labour politicians just can’t bow down to McA fast enough!

  95. 95
    Russell Square says:

    Yes, I recall reading that report. Also one that found the highest levels of salmonella contamination were to be found in kebab shops. Would anyone be surprised if it turned out that councils and health inspectors were turning a blind eye to this situation for fear of being accused of Way-cism? Meanwhile the public continues to be exposed to unacceptable levels of food poisoning…

  96. 96
    Man in a flat cap says:

    “Turkish b*stard”………Wacist!

  97. 97
    The Stasi says:

    We taught Evan Davies all he could take to be a Beeboid interrogator but he was dissapointing in not displaying enough maturity, as with Owen Jones.
    We taught all the current BBC Today and World at One radio 4 team

  98. 98
    Cor Blimey says:

    It would be a knockout.

  99. 99
    Cor Blimey says:

    BBC do not get rid of complete prats – they are generally the only people they do employ.

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