March 24th, 2014

High Speed 2: Get Tae F**k

The government’s High Speed 2 Growth Taskforce is the body set up by the government to examine how to maximise economic growth and the job opportunities from HS2. Scottish readers in particular will be amused by the unfortunate acronym used on their Twitter logo:

GTF being an acronym more commonly used north of the border to mean “get tae f**k”, which loosely translates from the Scottish vernacular as “go away”Not quite the sentiment the HS2 Growth Taskforce is trying to express…

H/T @kennyfarq


  1. 1
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Seems fair enough to me

  2. 2
    Nipple Count: 258 says:

    We will miss out on this culture if they vote to leave UK

  3. 3
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Good Try, Fawkes.

    but no cigar

  4. 4
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    Getifer. Aye we need a referendum

  5. 5
    An very old man says:

    Old man being canvassed by labour activists says “I would like to thank Ed Miliband for my happy childhood.”

    Activist says “But old man. When you were a child Ed Miliband wasn’t even born.”

    Old Man: “Precisely….That’s why I had a happy childhood.”

  6. 6
    Surrey Shiresman says:

    Nobody cares about Scots who can’t speak and spell correctly. If they came to London on a fast train nobody could understand their grunts and whines.

  7. 7
    Weird Ed says:

    David says that Silver Surfer could whip Spiderman’s ass. I say Peter Parker could take Silver surfer down with his webs any day he wants.

    Please go on twitter and back me up at EdMiliband#geekprimeminister

  8. 8
    Engineering firms says:

    We need HS2. The government will only piss the money away on foreign wars. Might as well at least get a 10min faster train service for it.

  9. 9
    Lord and Lady Establishment-Stooge of Brussels says:

    So how will a train speeding through greenbelt in Ickenham, Ruislip and Harefield at 200mph help the local economy ??

  10. 10
    not so chippy now, Jock says:

    We are staying.
    We daren’t try it on our own. We are the most socialist country in Europe so we know its exceptionally likely to fuck up.

  11. 11
    Father Analpolyp says:

    They laughed their bollocks off in Suffolk at Network Rail’s private maintenance contractor – whose vans all bear the legend ‘Serving Britain’s Railways’

    Serving, for Islington boys, being what Rams do to Ewes.

  12. 12
    Sabotaged by a Scotch says:

  13. 13
    Mick Salazar says:

    By improving Britain’s crap transport links. But it’s not about the anonymous dots on the map you quote, it is about connecting London with the other major cities in the nation.

  14. 14
    Myfanwy says:

    ” loosely translates from the Scottish vernacular as “go away”.” Struth I wish it would, Cameron’s folly already now quoted as £50Billion by the time it is finished, it is a good chance that will pass £100 Billion. All because a buch want to have a Cornish Pasty in Leeds station.

  15. 15
    Isambard Brunel the Grave Spinner says:

    So the politicians are going to spend circa £100 BILLION on HS2 and will not link it to Eurostar.

    What a bunch of fucking tossers!

    It’s as if I built the Great Western Railway terminus in Reading instead of Paddington.

  16. 16
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Buy Euros NOW!!!

  17. 17
    Fuck the BBC says:

  18. 18
    Podiceps says:

    In case you hadn’t noticed, London is connected to the other major cities in the nation, and you can already get to Birmingham by train in a little over an hour. However, real people avoid Virgin’s extortionate prices and go by the Chiltern line from Marylebone, a little slower but far cheaper. What is the point of having a high-speed link if no one can afford to travel on it?

  19. 19
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Struggling again Guido?

  20. 20
    Shnapps Apps says:

    Get Tae Fuck, sure I could do something innocent with this. That’ll go down well with dave and get me back in line for a proper job. Michael agrees.

  21. 21
    jap Apps says:

    They need to forget Euston for a start, why have that as the same station endpoint as the ten minute slower train. We are already forty years behind Japan with rail, can we fuck the little extra cost and DO IT properly, politicos. St Pancras please.

  22. 22
    Ah! Max says:

    Kicking him between the legs will have but a micro effect.

  23. 23
    UKIP or bust says:

    Not only does it say GTF, it also seems to say, at the bottom, imillion Oiks.

    Do I understand this right the government is putting yet another layer of quango wages on top of this monumental waste of money.

  24. 24
    Mr L. Uddite says:

    Britain should be the only economy without HS trains. That’ll show Johnny foreigner we can’t be pushed around when it comes to upgrading our infrastructure. Let’s just stick to letting more immigrants in where we can be world leaders.

  25. 25
    Economist says:

    The PBOC Chinese central bank has not published its gold holdings since 2009

    A credible research report from US (Stansberry Associates) puts their holdings at about 5000MT

    They are world’s biggest producer and huge purchaser…

    Russia’s official figures also understated

    Buy Yuan….

  26. 26
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    Good interview in Der Spiegel with former NSA director M’ichael H’ayden:

    Something of note that was mentioned in the interview:

    ‘Hayden: No-spy agreements are just too difficult. The White House made it quite clear, “No, we’re not going to do no-spy agreements.” It’s just too hard to do, not even with the British.’

  27. 27
    Observer says:

    The bogus HS2 Taskforce is a PR contrick s paid by the taxpayer to confuse and piss on the taxpayer

    As Simon Jenkins illustrated so well a few weeks ago

  28. 28
    Observer says:

    HS2 Taskforce mission statment should be

    How to maximise waste and kickbacks with taxpayers money

  29. 29
    Tony Smooth says:

    Simon Jenkins is a knob. He says the UK needs not even a single house being built. liberal prick.

  30. 30
    Barmaid at Loulou's wife swapping joint says:

    Mr Cameron is pleased to announce that he is taking sanctions against oligarchs

    He is banning Chris Bryant from dining with Alexander Lebedev

    That will make our Vlad tremble

  31. 31
    Cinna says:

    I remember the good old days when Eurostar was going to run to Manchester. I did once see it on the line. They had an enormous shed built for it outside Manchester Piccadilly station. “L’Eorostar Habite Ici” it proclaimed. Not for long it didn’t.

  32. 32
    Cinna says:

    They’ve just run a piece on the 6pm news reporting on the 70th anniversary of the Great Escape commemoration in Europe. Being right on the Beeb omitted to mention that the Germans illegally executed 50 of the escapees. The BBC is beneath contempt.

  33. 33
    Analyst says:

    Kick the NSA out of Europe


  34. 34
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    That would be impractical and also a bit knee jerk.

    Would be better to find why there is no longer a no-spy agreement.

    Could perhaps be due to UK sharing intel with Europe, or simply because the nature of the work – especially internet related – makes it impossible not to.

    Some clarity would be nice as the statement as it stands implies that the UK is no longer trusted. After 13 years of Labour that would be understandable.

  35. 35
    The Pimp Blair says:

    I prefer Boujis

    I get more bungs there and they have nice wannabe starlets I can try to shag

  36. 36
    Project Bullshit says:

    Edinburgh scum can gtf! Leeches!

  37. 37
    Please don't light the bonfire says:

    and what’s wrong with that

  38. 38
    Stasi NSA says:

    The NSA has become a criminal organisatyon granted immunity from prosecution by “unlimited executive power” of the President

    It is above the law and out of control

    The NSA should bve prosecuted in Europe and elswhere now where they have no similar protection

  39. 39
    Stasi GCHQ says:

    GCHQ is also a criminal organisation and out of control

    The UK Government is fighting to keep it above the law

    And the UK Government uses its master, the NSA to black ops when it cannot do something itself which it knows to be illegal and vice versa

    Nice criminal conspiracy

    But further very damaging leaks will come out this summer

  40. 40
    Táxpáyér says:

    The government’s High Speed 2 Growth Taskforce is the body set up by the government to examine how to maximise graft and the rent-seeking opportunities from HS2.

    Fixed it for ya.

  41. 41
    albacore says:

    All aboard the high-speed white elephant
    It’s sure to look real nice and elegant
    And, after Dave’s blown all that borrowed cash
    Nobody will notice it’s nowt but trash

  42. 42
    Táxpáyér says:

    White heat of rail technology?

  43. 43
    Táxpáyér says:

    If you book ahead you can go first class for 24 quid on Virgin.

  44. 44
    HS2 Mong says:

    HS2 means that we can ship the latest immigrant import quota up north much quicker; equal misery for all.

  45. 45
    Happy Times says:

    Google “in the future making” virtual reality should up and running somewhere about your person. HS2 due in, then delayed, well, may not be needed, by the time the first pylon and ditch are dugged.

    Failing that, put the r into the last word.

  46. 46
    Jim says:

    I say my good man; old chap; spiffing old boy;

    Do be a good fellow and feck right off.

    I hear there are a lot of ethnic minorities, crooks and tree-huggers down there, you could perhaps indulge them with your vastly superior diction, no doubt the better for being understood.

    And talking of pronunciation, how do you southerners pronounce ‘cares'(kehs). Indeed the English appear to have abandoned the letter ‘r’ altogether.


  47. 47
    one million years bc says:

    With more knobs like you about we’d still be going around on square wheels ffs.

  48. 48
    Zero Hedge says:

    Ukraine Leader In New Leaked Recording: 8 Million Russians In Ukraine “Must Be Killed With Nuclear Weapons”

  49. 49
    Analyst says:

    The United States are simple thieves, as they accuse everyone else of being! The US are economic terrosists

    GCHQ is joined at the hip with the NSA – accomplices in private and commercial theft on a global and uncontrolled scale

    Of course the UK is not trusted in Europea (or man y other parts of the world)

    It never has been European, as so many co-conspirators show here

    The UK is just the Poodle 51st State, as this all proves

    The UK Government is a proven and repeated thief

    Using oligarchs and other pillaging thieves to support what is left of its economy

    The UK is acting like a fraud and criminal

    PS Nothing to do with 13 years of Labour. This has been going on for years before that…and it continues FFS

  50. 50
    jgm2 says:

    May 2012 Tories 31% Labour 45% – Lead 14%

    March 2014 Tories 34% Labour 35% – Lead 1%

    Short of an unfortunate heart-attack whilst hill-walking [see John Smith and Robin Cook] I can’t see any way for Labour to replace Ned Miliband without tearing itself apart. Which means they’re stuck with his tactical, oratorical and leadership skills until June 2015. At which time they’ll be able to replace him with a new leader of HM loyal opposition – Yvette Cooper.

  51. 51
    Danger Mouse says:

    Well done agent C O (Ξ7h)

    But New Labour was a product of the CIA…just ask agent Mandelson.

    “The influence of intelligence services on the British left”

  52. 52
    Unpretty Polly says:

    Someone should ask Polly Toynbee why she won’t let some poor people stay at her Tuscan villa. What better way to show her kindness and concern for the less privileged than to give them some fun and happiness by flying them out to her villa.

    And did Tony Benn ever take in any poor people at his £4 million house in Holland Park? Why did this socialist firebrand need to live in a £4 million? Didn’t Marx say “Each according to his need”? Why didn’t Tony Benn sell his £4m house, downsize to a modest house and give the rest of the money to the poor?

  53. 53
    JEdward says:

    It was going so well until Gorgeous George appeared

  54. 54
    A Conservative says:

    The necons don’t care

    They want chaos, death and destruction in Russia’s back yard

    They want the 21st century to he one of undisputed US domination regardless of anyone else

    They use jihadis, neo nazie, mercenary killers and anything they can find to commit war crimes plus torture, rendition, putsches, regime change and any other atrocities they can think of

    Just look at what the criminal Nuland’s neocon ayatollah husband Kagan has written

    I will put up reference to his book (? The New American Century)

    PS You will also have seen that neo nazi members of Ukrainian Parliament want to develop their own nuclear weapons…

  55. 55
    Blowing Whistles says:

    It resembles them old commie 5 and 10 year Transport plans [Hoon had one when in Govt btw] … and what did they actually lead to … ‘more debt’.

  56. 56
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    You mis-read: Europe is not trusted by the US, and should not be by the UK.

    All that you write about ‘pillaging’ and ‘thievery’ is irrelevant. All states do this if they have the means to. Defending against it, and preventing other states acquiring the means to do it in the first place is part of the day to day business in the intel world.

    The original no-spy agreements were predicated on the mutual trust that existed post WWII among the major English speaking / allied nations. Part of this was practical – sharing information was preferable to other means.

    European nations are inherently untrustworthy from a national security perspective and always have been.

    If the UK sharing of intelligence with EU, or the open borders allowing easier movement of European agents into / out of the UK is in any way related to the change of position of the US, then this is actually a very strong argument for the UK to exit the EU.

  57. 57
    UKIP or bust says:

    Does that mean Big Bad Len will no longer be in charge of the Labour party after 2015, or will he select another gimp to mouth his wishes.

  58. 58
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    R’ussia was a very big influence as well: Overtly during the Soviet era but after the USSR fell apart it would be naive to assume that their influence on the left did as well.

  59. 59
    UKIP or bust says:

    Aye, there’s the rub.

  60. 60
    Fishy says:

    10 minutes slower? How so?

  61. 61
    brown-dog says:

    Pofits are privatised and losses are socialised.

    It’s why the banks were bailed out.

    The sooner people on here start to realise that our political system is simply a mechanism to keep the privileged esconced few safe in their sinecures the better. It is all conducted on behalf of the super rich and in turn they bribe the foue pillars of the elite system i.e. the judicial class, the political class, the mainstream media class and the security class (eg the police and the armed forces). On top of the fours pillar are those that run the City of London – the finacial elites.

  62. 62
    Sergei Lavrov says:

    I had a constructive meeting with Mr Kerry this afternoon

    You will be pleased to know that it is business as usual between professional diplomats

    We discussed Ukraine, Syria, Iran, and NATO withdrawal from Afghanistan

    Mr Kerry understands what happened in Crimea and why. End of that story

    I told you yesterday that Crimea would just be a blip on the radar

    Thank you for your attention and good evening to you all

  63. 63
    The Scottish Pretender says:

    K.M.A. you english bastards

  64. 64
    David Irving says:

    You speak with forqued tongue.

    BBC Radio 4 sjust aid they were executed on the special order of Hitler personally.

    This is total bullshit. I am the most critically acclaimed WWII N@zi historian in the world and nothing I found in the public record can prove this.

  65. 65
    A Conservative says:

    Of course you are right, sadly

    The elites who should have known better have turned Britain into a semi criminalised society without ethics

    Where corruption, kickbacks, money laundering, revolving doors and so on are the order of the day

    But there is always the possibility of restoring the Rule of Law and Adam Smith capitalism

    If not, the future is very bleak

  66. 66
    Go for the Hyperloop says:

    Musk, who has a British Dad, proposes a 350 miles sort of raillink from Los Angeles to San Francisco and would theoretically allow commuters to travel in 30 minutes or less. Musk estimated the total cost of the system at $6 billion. You can’t move haulage, serve drinks, look out of a window. Bury it under ground. Could be cheaper than buying the land. Essentially 2 meter wide tube, each way.

    Envy of the world. That should sell it to Westminister.

  67. 67
    Sir Gay Lavatory says:

    Project for the New American Century

    The fuckers were even boasting about it a few years back! Now that takes some chutspah!

    They have taken down the original site in the meantime…

    but info can be found on Wiki

  68. 68
    Bloke says:

    Oi Gaydo, are you out with the crusties next w/e to ‘save the fox’ – or what?

  69. 69
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    Couldn t agree more with you!!!

  70. 70
    Ah dear! says:

  71. 71
    Bloke says:

    Wish Scotland would GTF and vote Yes. But they won’t.

  72. 72
    Pista's R'Soles says:

    Tube driver arrested after ‘downing bottle of vodka before driving Jubilee Line train’

  73. 73
    Mrs Jack BBC Dromey says:

  74. 74
    Analyst says:

    Given that UK Government policy is dictated by the criminal financial interests of the City and foreigners as proven by the UK’s refusal to even consider sanctikns against the oligarchs

    I would saybthat yiu are totally untrustworthy from any national security point of view

    Yiu are not even masters in your own house? You are controlled by organised crime now.

    So referring to European allies as “inherently untrustworthy” is laughable

    Clean up your own Cesspit City and oligarchs before daring to even mention the word trustworthy – Britain cannot be trusted for anything nowadays, sadly

    And it would be an excellent idea for you to leave the EU…I don’t think many people in Europe would miss you!

  75. 75
    Analyst says:


    You are the last Cold War warrior left, yiou know

    Almost extinct

    Blaming Britain’s post cold war ills on Russia is worse than pathetic

  76. 76
    Sir William Wayde says:

    That’s the theory, but I seem to have acquired one of England’s few gay rams. Unless, perhaps, my sheep are exceptionally ugly.

  77. 77
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    SELL !!!

  78. 78
    RED LEN says:

  79. 79
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Certainly we should look beyond the little huddle of frightened, declining nations that Europe has become.

  80. 80
    Princess Po-face Polytwaddle, leaning out of her Ivory Tower, berating Common People below says:

    I am always Right, I am never wrong!

    And naturally I am generous to the deserving poor – those who read the Grouniad, and who dwell on my words.

    There are few of them who really understand me, but, in my generosity, I commit my time to writing for them.

    Now Gordon, – he always understood me! He examined my words minutely! – he delved deeply into my meanings and probed every subtle nuance and chink. He manfully analysed my mood and responded! He led me into new paths of understanding of the miracles that only a girl, – bred with silver spoons in her mouth, – could tread. And he brought me to the sublime heights of Socialist thought and sensual satisfaction in hearing his deep manly voice, his enticingly weird but oh so endearing jaw movements that thrilled me each time he made them, – oh Gordo, – how I long for those days again . . . . the peace and satisfaction that only you can give me . . . . the . . . . ALFONSO . . . I am not to be disturbed . . . I am going into status polytwadlicus . . no! don’t try to help me! . . . let me succumb . . . let me experience socialist heaven!!!! . .. OH OH OH!!!!!!!!

  81. 81
    AFP says:

    After a meeting with Mr Lavrov this evening, Prime Minister Cameron was pleased to announce significant progress. He confirmed that to ensure the future of London as the money laundering and tax evasion centre of the world, no sanctions will ever be imposed on Russian or Ukrainian oligarchs or any other gangsters investing in London.

  82. 82

    Ooooh ducky!!!!!!

  83. 83
    A Conservative says:


  84. 84
    Neddy SeaGoon says:

    What what waht what waht!!!!!!????

  85. 85
    Observer says:

    Plus some lovely PFIs returning the odd 18% per annum

    Highway robbery with confidentiality clauses, of course, so that the People can never know

  86. 86
    The Chosen People says:

    History is what we say it is, if you disagree we’ll have the MSM destroy your reputation, put presser on all publishers to leave you in the cold and drag you through the courts for hate speech.

    We have nothing to hide.

  87. 87
    Caradoc the Ancient Briton says:

    These new-fangled Roman roads will never catch on. I mean, who wants to get to Viroconium two days quicker?

  88. 88
    Lennie says:

    When we decide he needs to go hillwalking, he will.

    Until then, we are stuck with the gimp. There’s no spine in the man, it’s all slime and slither, reminds us of Mandlebpttom. We really should have got the other bro but it will be a woman next. Hope I don’t make her cry, I know I’ve got the social,skills of an elephant.

  89. 89
    The fugly one just got fuglier says:

  90. 90
    Russia Today says:

    To think that some people believe our propaganda!

  91. 91
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    AHHAHAHAHAHAHhhhhahahahhhohohohohohohohehehehehehehheeehe eh eh um er *dejected wheezing*

  92. 92
    Victoria Nuland, neo fascist war criminal says:

    It is all going to plan

    Mayhem, death, civil war and destruction is part of the plan, like Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Egypt and Syria

    This will screw up the whole region for years, while we march to world domination

    Next stp Iran – I think some tactical nukes would be good there

    Hang on, this sounds a bit like Hitler, don’t you think?

  93. 93
    ed wasteband says:

    Well with the one million IHT level Dave now proposes I’m well stuffed. First the pension and ISA stuff now this. We’ve spent years making people think there’s no hope and we must all face impoverishment together. Now he’s gone and shown that they can, wait for,it, keep what they’ve earned and paid plenty of tax on. We believe then that confiscation must come in, man the barricades, it’s commie time like my dad said it would be.

  94. 94
    A Patriot says:

    Nuke Kiev and send David Cameron on a viagara fuelled mission to fuck the midget bear in M’oscow.

    That’ll learn ‘em.

  95. 95
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Umm … ‘nothing to hide’ eh … save a shedload of hard stuff that just happens to have appeared since the downfall of communism …

  96. 96
    Ed Miliband, One Nation... says:

    No. I think we should bring back socialism, like in the 70s.

  97. 97
    jgm2 says:

    If you want to get somewhere in the UK quicker then raise the speed li*m*it on the roads.

    Job done.

    If you want to get somewhere in Europe quicker then Ryanair or Easyjet have a solution for that.

  98. 98
    Sheap shearer says:

    You must have had Mandelson for dinner or perhaps Gordon Brown, and the dear ram has never been the same since…

  99. 99
    A Strategy says:

    Make the G’erman’s fight R’ussia, and then claim victory for ourselves.

    Might as well get some value for the EU investment.

  100. 100
    1st class traveller says:

    More importantly, the fucking train will arrive before I have finished my breakfast

  101. 101
    jgm2 says:

    This is precisely why rich, talented people don’t go into politics. Sure, Mr Harman gets 66K a year plus expenses – call it 200K, but there are hundreds of thousands of people in the UK alone making more than that without having to pretend to be interested in the ‘problems’ of ‘Nash Dom’ whoever the fuck they are and hang out with those fucking mutants when you could be doing something more interesting instead.

  102. 102
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And to boot – all them local councils (Doing their own little fiefdom criminal enterprises) now use the legal(?) get out clause to refuse local taxpayers information over how ‘their money is spent’ by stating that such details are

    ‘commercially sensitive’ …

    You couldn’t make it up – but they have in concert and in their little conspiracies with the Shysters.

  103. 103
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Ever been to that joint down in Dolphin Square Tone?

  104. 104
    jgm2 says:

    CO7 might be completely incoherent but he’s right about that. Just because the USSR collapsed doesn’t mean that their moles/plants/pre-programmed agents aren’t still at large. Even if their financing has collapsed the same students who were being indoctrinated with leftist thinking at uni back in the 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s are now in the position were in position to do maximum damage. Just as they did from 1997 – 2010 and just as they are straining at the leash to finish the fucking job in 2015 if we let them.

  105. 105
    Gobshite says:


  106. 106
    Gobshite says:

    Interesting use of punctuation and capitals, you porridge-gargling pillock.

  107. 107
    Gobshite says:


  108. 108
  109. 109
    Spy spotter says:

    Your idea of UK sharing intel with Europeans seems to be to give them back what you have harvested from them

    Is that right?

    In which caee, if I were a European I would frankly jam and laser every British installation in Europe…and kick out your dodgy diplomats too!

  110. 110
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Message for Dave and Boris – The City Laundry is now well and truly found out for its decades upon decades of short changing the masses – no amount of whitewash is ever going to conceal the greasy, filthy, dirty shrouds of rhetorical b/s and legalese that pour from your forked-tongues via your every ‘spokesman’ and ‘in thrall political Press bloodhound’.

    The laundry cycle has come to its fucking end.

  111. 111
    Gobshite says:

    Bit like the Pope.

    They’re full of shit, these people.

  112. 112
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  113. 113
    jgm2 says:

    Mandelson, although a gayist, has steel. That fucker would kill you in a heartbeat. Just like Blair or Campbell.

    Miliband, on the other hand, while devious, lacks the killer instinct – just like Cameron. Which is, bizarrely, to both their credit. Miliband falls down because, aside from lacking the killer instinct, he lacks charisma, presence, oratorical skills, leadership skills or tactical skills.

    If Miliband had any sense he would never have appointed Balls to shadow chancellor. Balls will fucking well undermine and eviscerate Miliband the first chance he gets. In fact by his very fucking presence on the opposition front bench he is undermining Miliband and Labour as I type. But that is purely accidental. I’m talking about the lasagne dinners etc that Balls is conducting in opposition let alone what the c*unt would get up to if Labour were in power.

  114. 114
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Looks like we’ve run out of other people’s money again.

  115. 115
    jgm2 says:

    The Co-Op will collapse without an in-house bank to bung it loans to prop up its shit business model. A win-win for the good guys. Co-Op bank gets taken over by a proper bank who calls in Labour’s loans and the Co-Op collapses feeing up plenty of high street shops for Aldi and Lidl.

  116. 116
    Polly says:

    I’ve made an entire career out of writing about the poor. In fact, I owe my wealth all to them. They’ve made me very rich.

  117. 117
    jgm2 says:

    I think you owe your wealth to your daddy’s ability to get you a job in journalism and to the Scott trust who’ve managed to avoid paying any tax since before that even became fashionable.

    You are the Marie Antoinette of political commentary. Raised in privilege and yet playing at being poor.

  118. 118
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    A ‘BIT’ WEIRD ????

  119. 119
  120. 120
  121. 121
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    More to the point of what Viv R’eding has been carping on about:

    There already exists at least one EU level agency, originally for open-source intelligence: EU-INTCEN.


    There is no EU level SIGINT capability other than what GCHQ / NSA can provide. That information is shared from time to time with European agencies.

    You imply an ownership of the data harvested. In the case of intelligence data that ownership resides with the agency which collected it.

    Since the EU has zero legitimacy, that it is building intelligence agencies to cover the member states is not only sinister, but much more of a public concern than the false issues being raised to defame NSA / GCHQ.

  122. 122
    UKIP for me says:


    Think Mr Creosote on an eating binge then multiply it by ten thousand, our ruling class have lost any fear of being caught, they have no shame or self awareness, no moral compass to place limits on them. Filling their boots as fact as they can while they can and to hell with the rest of us.

  123. 123
    Isaac Hunt says:

  124. 124
    David Cameron says:

    No top down reform of the NHS. We’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS. Vote blue, go green. We’ll have to be whiter than white! The next big scandal is lobbying. We’re “paying down” the deficit. We’ll rebalance the economy. We’ll end the deficit within one parliament… and of-course… we’re all in it together…

  125. 125
    The Anticomintern Pact Revived says:

  126. 126
    David Cameron says:

    And tomorrow I take on Putin.

    Pip pip.

  127. 127
    Meanwhile in Black Burn says:

  128. 128

    I am a faithful Roman Catholic who unswervingly follows order from the Vatican. However I am also a member of the Skull and Bones Fraternity and we faithfully believe that Aristotle was Jesus and that is why the number 322 is so significant to us. It will be unfortunate when the seat of Catholicism gets pulverized into the ground but the New World Order we will fashion out of the chaos will be shit hot and we are going to implant children with microchips and have them as our little fuck puppets. Swag.

  129. 129
    Ed millipillock durrrrr says:

    Very good except this was a Labour idea.

  130. 130
    Jack Ketch says:

    I first rode on a bullet train (Shinkansen) in Japan in 1978–it was already 14 year old technology then. HS2 is a 1960s solution at a time when self-drive cars are technically feasible now and a dedicated “automatic road” link could be implemented with a year or so.

  131. 131
    Tri-ang Railways says:

    Not if the punka winding wallha not wind up loco isn’t it.

  132. 132
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    So Kozyrev, who was the first post USSR Foreign minister for R’ussia, told CNN that the U’kraine stand off is at 11th hour:

    He also thought it wise to remind everyone that R’ussia is still a nuclear power.

    Would the response ‘Bothered’ just p!ss them off more ?

  133. 133
    Spy spotter says:

    You fail to answervthe point

    NSA GCHQ are harvestibg vast amounts of European privateand commercial data

    That is called theft

    And you want to remain part of the EU and an ally?!

    Clearly you have a criminal mentality and treat your “allies” like enemies.The same mentality as your banksters and you are sobfar gone you think it is normal

    With friends like thatm0, who needs enemies?
    Itvreally would be a good idea bto iick you out of the EU

  134. 134
    Vote ukip get no referendum ever says:

    Its is agreed pretty much by all that UKIP will just spilt the right vote and allow Milliband into No 10 and then you will have no reason to exist having achieved the direct opposite of what you set out for.

    No doubt you will come back with all the bullshit lines but this is what is going to happen. What’s sad is we cannot stop the inevitable and you moronic fuckers are going to take the rest of us down with you. as such you will condemn us to a socialist utopia linked with Europe for ever.

    So pardon me if I just say FUCK OFF YOU UTTER TWAT

  135. 135
    Blowing Whistles says:

    COBar7h – you appear to be in a corner – with all your positing of opinions and positing of ‘possible’ fear for this and fear for that … STOP DIGGING.

    Our own political classes across the political colours and tribes – are fucked and corrupted; AND no amount of you or others pointing at ‘it’s them over there, not us guv honestly; is going to deflect from the fucking COrruption that goes on ‘within this jurisdiction / backyard’. Please do us all a favour and take your fucking blinkers off.

  136. 136
    The Anti Comintern Pact Revived says:

  137. 137
    Analyst says:

    The Gas Princess

    Corrupt to the core

    Thee illegal jooish PM is one of her proteges – and of Soros (who has been convicted in France for financial crime also)

    She was closly involved with another jooish Prime Minister Lazarenko who is in Federal prison in California for gangsterism FFS

    We are dealing with some of the filthiest scum here on the face of the earth

  138. 138
    Gordon says:

    Sell low, Buy high.

  139. 139
    jgm2 says:

    Almost certain to be corrected before too long (or perhaps not) – bottom right, item 8

    ‘Russia and Ukraine hold FIST talks.

  140. 140
    Dave says:

    I have my finger on the button. Any move on Gib and the spicks get it.

  141. 141
    i'm here all week try the veal says:

    get your tits out… of the broken windscreen.

  142. 142
    Barry Obama says:

    Land Forces are so yesterday. I use remote controlled pilotless Drones to invade foreign lands and kill at my choosing.

  143. 143
    LibLabCon were on your side, well ours really says:

    Get rid of Cameron if you want the Conservatives to win otherwise get used to Milliboys socialist utopia, vote UKIP whatever, break the circle, LibLabCon have had their day, their’s no difference in the LibLabCons all three rip the public off.

  144. 144
    The Blind Leading the Blind or are they looking for compo? says:

  145. 145
    jgm2 says:

    I’m seeing a pattern developing.

    Stop for one moment and consider if you, even for 66K a year plus expenses (so, say, a total of 200K per annum), would be prepared to give up your evening to ‘chair’ such an utterly pointless event.

    Remember, these fuckers will want to talk to you, give you the benefit of their BBC acquired wisdom on climate change, go on endlessly about ‘the man’, ask you if their kid can do work experience at the HoC etc etc. And for what? Nothing. That’s what the 66K is for. Making a c*unt of yourself with Portillo is where the money is but when you’re as utterly talentless as Abbott then compared to the other 650 or several hundred thousand people outside of parliament then you’re not actually on that good a screw after all.

    It pains me to say it but I have to agree with those money-grubbing MPs. If we want good people in parliament as opposed to utter imbeciles then we’re going to have to pay them a fuck of a sight more to quit whichever company they’re currently running to come and sit through an evening with these fucking morons.

  146. 146
    jgm2 says:

    ‘Straight’ Putin has had so much cosmetic surgery he’s starting to look like that Pete Burns chap off ‘Big Brother’.

  147. 147
    A Conservative says:


  148. 148
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The same boring crap over and over and over…

  149. 149
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap…

  150. 150
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The sky is blue, cows go moo, I’m not a closet homo and you can’t trust a joo.

  151. 151
    What Global warming? says:

  152. 152
    C O (Ξ7h) says:


    You should also understand that espionage is a core function of state.

    The Ch!nese and R’uss!an’s are just as ‘bad’ in your terms, as are every other credible state that has a reasonable intel service. (Must not forget !srael / !ran.)

    The argument you put forward relating to theft is void and flawed.

    Remaining part of the EU: No, not really. The EU has now proven itself to be a clear and present danger for world peace and should be disbanded.

    It is not a question of treating allies like enemies, it is a simple matter of common sense. Read the Spiegel interview for the comment addressing G’ermany spying on the US. The NSA response is that is fine and expected, and moreover, a professional response on the part of the G’erman’s.

    @BW: Note that espionage is also known as the second oldest profession.

    You should be concerned that it would appear that S’nowden has managed to blind both NSA / GCHQ to what the R’ussian’s are up to. This is current explanation for why no one saw the Cr!mea invasion coming.

    The SIGINT work is crucially important for detecting this. Up until it was confirmed on the ground, the only evidence available was image intel, which is not enough to summon an A’mbassador in for a quiet chat about things.

    Note also that at this point the assumption is that the R-Fed / Ch!na can track us, but we cannot track them. That is a serious disadvantage whichever way you cut it.

    Keep an eye on the nuke talk, and bear in mind that until a satellite shows tanks moving, or someone on the ground can credibly confirm R-Fed troop action, we will not know for sure if the R-Fed has moved into U.

    The last time there was a serious intel breach like this was when W’illiam W’eisband – a Soviet agent working on BOURBON : A successful UK / USA project which broke Soviet communications – caused that to go dark back in 1947: Just before the last Cold War started.

  153. 153
    jgm2 says:

    Yeah, sorry, forgot to put quotes around ‘global warming’.

    Grimsby Ontario (mother-in-law lives there) is still under snow too. Unheard of for this time of year apparently.

    That’ll be the ‘climate change’ not, of course, to be confused with the period before ‘climate change’ when the weather was completely predictable on any given day at any given point on the earth’s surface by simply seeing what the weather was like there on the same day last year.

  154. 154
    Rocky Island Liner says:

    Nope, not at all. Just another fucking unneeded qango. Jobs for the boys indeed.

  155. 155
    Rocky Island Liner says:

    We orl spik fluid eshchery nah mate

  156. 156
    Rosa Luxemburg says:

    Looks like cosmopolitan internationals were behind this staged revolution after all.

    Who’s have thought it.

  157. 157
    Rocky Island Liner says:

    But how to do it (peacefully)?

  158. 158
    Rocky Island Liner says:

    A real genie-us…..

  159. 159
    Rocky Island Liner says:

    But what happens if we pull the plug out?

  160. 160
    Mme Guillotine - mangeur de gateaux says:

    So, I am ready when you are!

  161. 161
    As Lonnie might have said says:

    Putin on the agony
    Putin on the style
    That is what our Dave does
    Lying all the while
    Tells a little fib here
    Tells another there
    But we only just found out
    He’s really “on the square”.


  162. 162
    George Washingline says:

    So global warming is really just (as the Yanks say) a snow job?

  163. 163
    Bob Crowe from beyond the veil says:

    My union boys will soon whittle that 10 minutes away, and that’s when we let it run at all.

  164. 164
    Drummer says:

    Boom Tish

  165. 165
    An old Ethiopian says:

    This just goes to prove that you cannot help all of the people all of the time.

  166. 166
    Conference Caller says:

    Travelling is a stone-age solution fit only for islamic terrorists.

    What the country really needs is super-dooper-fast broadband.

  167. 167
    C O (Ξ7h) says:

    I like boy spies the best, though.

  168. 168
    British Caribbean Committee says:

    Ok, so we’ve decided on our course of action:

    we’ll write a strongly worded letter to Ed Miliband. He won’t sniff at that.

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    … so that organisations can close their regional offices and work out of London.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    stick to the morris dancing and shaggin thatcher blow-up dolls son – as a comedian you’re shite – GTF!

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    No we’re not, we’re ofski

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    “vote ukip”




    hilarious stuff – no matter how many times I hear/see/read this joke it just keeps on being funny

    Here’s another one – Nigel Farage


  173. 173
    harryet says:


  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    “The government’s High Speed 2 Growth Taskforce”
    allegedly includes such stars as the entity who made BT such a success with its customers. Although bailing out of both is fraught with difficulty, at least with one its not potentially lethal.

  175. 175
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Analyst – points noted – shame that some twat has to IMPOSTER me below though.

  176. 176
    Blowing Whistles says:


  177. 177
    Blowing Whistles says:

    IMPOSTER AT 12:06 am – but thanks for the attention.

  178. 178
    Blowing Whistles says:

    IMPOSTER AT 12:03 am [how odd not] – as i read upwards of the blog that the IMPOSTER BLOGGED SECERAL TIMES AROUND MIDNIGHT.

  179. 179

    Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Appreciate it

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