March 21st, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Behind the News Edition)


201 Comments

  1. 1
    Sniper says:

    Vigil for Kay.

    Like

  2. 2
    Belasarius T says:

    And they’re under starters orders, here at the Dimbleby Memorial Steeplechase…

    Like

  3. 3
    Sarcan Kebab III says:

    Nick Robinson recharged his batteries

    Like

  4. 4
    Dirk Diggler says:

    Quick , set the detonator cord !

    Like

  5. 5
    Fed Up Botted says:

    a balanced presentation

    Like

  6. 6
    was it something I said? says:

    I, for one, welcome our new EU overlords.

    Like

    • 9
      Fed Up Botted says:

      On TV last night saw a skeleton of a man in a cheap banker’s suit; a smug frog faced man and a benign old Nanny. Apparently those people represent europe.

      Like

  7. 7
    Fed Up Botted says:

    see no evil

    feel no evil

    evil

    Like

  8. 8
    Owen Jones says:

    Adam Boulton looks pissed again

    Like

  9. 10
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Nick Robinson “And I’m just hearing news of a Malaysian airliner that seems to have gone missing..”

    Like

  10. 12
    Nick Robinson's plate of chips says:

    Rare evidence of Nick Robinson being plugged in around Westminster

    Like

  11. 13
    The Green Mile says:

    Any last requests Mr Robinson?

    Like

  12. 14
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The guy on the right is doing a Napoleon impression.

    Where’s me shirt!
    :-)

    Like

  13. 15
    Firing Squad Leader says:

    Fire!!

    Like

  14. 16
    Bosun Higgs says:

    This Spring – come to HACKWORLD – the animatronic fun park that puts YOU in the news!

    Like

  15. 17
    Simon Cowell says:

    A fucking car crash of a dance troupe.

    Like

  16. 18
    Belasarius T says:

    You have all been convicted of crimes against truth. Do you have anything to say before judgment is passed upon you…

    …very well. troop, take aim…

    Like

  17. 19
    was it something I said? says:

    For Comic Relief Nick Robinson set a world record for the longest catheter.

    Like

  18. 20
    cable guy says:

    Labour party HQ feed Robinson his lines.

    Like

    • 51
      Larry The Cable Guy says:

      I don’t care who y’are, that’s funny, right there…git ‘r done!
      (Well, they all ARE gits, right? Especially the “Voyager Doctor”!)

      Like

  19. 21
    iRobot says:

    Spot the stepford reporter.

    Like

  20. 22
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The authorities have confirmed that a Scotsman broke into the Prime Minister’s residence, in the early hours of this morning, shat on his bed, laughed like a maniac and fled.

    Like

  21. 24
    Presstitute MSM says:

    Three low-life MSM whores prostitute themselves in a well know street.

    Like

  22. 25
    Any barn dance? says:

    Political correspondents still waiting for Milliband’s reply to the budget.

    Like

  23. 26
    Stephanie Flanders says:

    Eeny, meeny, miny….. moe.

    Like

  24. 27
    Karly Pilkoids says:

    After stealing their stories Nick Robinson can find no hack willing to try out his new skipping rope.

    Like

    • 82
      All New News says:

      Nick Robinson wasn’t sure whether George Osborne said he was Sport Relief or support relief skipping

      Like

  25. 29
    Táxpáyér says:

    It’s not just LibLabCon that’s 3 brands on a single dodgy product.

    Like

  26. 30
    Rebekah says:

    Look at that goon Boulton, Can’t even get into his own phone.

    Like

  27. 31
    Scrumpy says:

    The Matrix: Wired to the Moon edition (powered by recycled news and other guff)

    Like

  28. 32
    Faisal Islam says:

    They are all cattle.

    Like

  29. 33
    Jimmy says:

    The former Conservative cabinet minister Tebbit has suggested that people who visit food banks are at the time spending their money on junk food.

    Earlier, Tebbit called for David Cameron to be replaced as Tory leader by the next election.

    There’s your solution.

    People should eat David Cameron..and then food banks are no longer necessary..

    Like

  30. 34
    Clint McClintlock says:

    Nick Robinson signs up for electro-therapy to cure his C.M.D.

    Like

  31. 35
    Liar.Politicians says:

    Hey Macarena!

    Like

  32. 36
    Liar.Politicians says:

    The Three MSM Stooges.

    Like

  33. 37
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Madame Tussauds unveil their latest display.

    Like

  34. 38
    was it something I said? says:

    Like

  35. 39
    Capitaine Louis Renault says:

    Round up the usual suspects.

    Like

  36. 41
    Django of Naples says:

    Nick Robinson’s cock finally exposed and shown to be a string of spaghetti!

    Like

  37. 42
    Vlad the G(r)8 says:

    Fiscal Islam.

    Like

  38. 44
    Garfield says:

    I think that is the longest catheter in history.

    Like

  39. 45
    Phil Westlake says:

    Nick Robinson slips a hand in his pocket to give his balls a good squeeze in preparation for the BBC Bee Gees tribute act.

    Like

  40. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Input cable must be in the left pocket

    Like

  41. 53
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Topman reveal their summer collection of suits

    Like

  42. 54
    Peter Grimes says:

    On the left is the incumbent SKY political editor. On his left are two has-been also-rans for the job he is about to vacate.

    Like

  43. 56
    Braveheart says:

    Nick Robinson tests out prototype microphone for those who talk out of their arses. Advanced orders already in from Cameron, Clegg, May, Vague, Millipede, Testicles, Salmond…

    Like

  44. 58
    BBC cost cutting says:

    These new “real life” splitting Image mannequins work a treat, everytime. Type the script, and hey presto, you get real exclusive live from the scene, BBC news at its best.

    Like

  45. 60
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Don’t blink!

    Like

  46. 62
    Minority Report says:

    Precogs

    Like

    • 95
      Pavlov's pooch says:

      Precogs???? Nick Robinson is the very opposite – he sees what has been reported before.

      Like

  47. 63
    Gay Dave says:

    Right Adam you can be the construction worker, Nick you be the leather clad moustache dude, and you wotsisname you can be the US cop. Cleggie will be the Red Indian.

    Like

  48. 64
    Life of P I E says:

    3 Labour ‘meeeja’ stooges lining up to give H@riett H@rman a good roasting…..

    Like

  49. 65
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    And on Sky News…. we bring you clear evidence that Cable is in Robinson’s pocket.

    Like

  50. 66
    was it something I said? says:

    Which one is Brick?

    Like

  51. 67
    Gerbil 7 says:

    Fuck me, Boyzone haven’t aged well.

    Like

  52. 70
    Cheez says:

    Robinson thought he’d help himself to a BBC microphone but forgot it wasn’t a wireless model.

    Like

  53. 71
    Anonymous says:

    And the following people have been charged………

    Like

  54. 72
    Im Voting UKIP says:

    Only one of these Hunts is wired up to the explosive !

    3……2……1……

    Like

  55. 75
    was it something I said? says:

    Kay Burley was there too but she was run over by that car.

    Like

  56. 76
    American Vaudeville & Slapstick says:

    The Three Labour Stooges?

    Like

  57. 78
    Nick Robber-son says:

    “The BBC has learned that the Prime Minister works inside the building behind me”

    Like

  58. 79
    Namby Pamby says:

    No wifi or skyfi
    Not retired just hardwired

    Like

  59. 81
    P Diddy says:

    Nick Robinson with extra long catheter.

    Like

  60. 84
    All the threes says:

    Bingo callers audition outside number 11 Downing Street.

    Like

  61. 85
    DAVE one term flop CAMERON says:

    Hey Robbo ! Dont forget your porn video

    Like

  62. 86
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Liverpudlian Girl off camera says

    ” my question to contestant number one is “I have 100 pairs of shoes..if you were a shoe, what type of shoe would you be”

    Like

  63. 87
    Mr Dromey says:

    Adam Boulton “Unite clearly recognises the need to have someone with gravitas and credibility speaking on their behalf so they have turned to Owen Jones”

    Like

  64. 88
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Old lady says

    That’s him officer. The middle one..ohhh those dead eyes! I’ll never forget them..

    Like

    • 115
      Gerbil 7 says:

      “He is a shifty type and no mistake Madam, show me on this earlier news report what part he lifted and declared an exclusive”.

      Like

  65. 89
    Boulton and Co says:

    Adam Boulton overseeing his replacement auditions.

    Like

  66. 91
    Flatcap Army says:

    “Text No Evil, Toss No Evil, Tango No Evil”

    Like

  67. 92
    The Colonel says:

    “Text No Evil, Toss No Evil, Tango No Evil”

    Like

  68. 93
    Theatre goer says:

    Worst fucking musical I’ve ever been to…. and I’ve seen Starlight express

    Like

  69. 96
    Flange says:

    Podium for The World’s Strangest Left Arm Championship.

    Like

  70. 97
    The Village Idiot says:

    “Hear Nothing, See Nothing & Say Nothing”

    aka the “Three Wan*kers of the MSM”

    Like

  71. 98
    From the Urals says:

    Three wise men – or three brass monkeys ??

    A room in the gulag has been reserved…

    Like

  72. 100
    Geoffrey Johns says:

    Three,
    two,
    one
    LIFT OFF!!!

    Like

  73. 102
    Whiffler says:

    Pip, Squeak, & Wilfred rehearse for new show.

    Like

  74. 104
    Schards says:

    Nick Robinson: The skip they do’s the double-dutch, that’s them dancing

    Like

  75. 105
    Sizzla says:

    Soft soap on a rope

    Like

  76. 106
    The Village Idiot says:

    “Three Apostles from the ConsLieLaborLebDims Sat*anic Alliance”
    propagating via MSM the Mend*acity & Mani*pulation deceptions as
    instructed by there real political master pupeteers.

    Like

  77. 107
    Tony Blair says:

    Nick “Have you heard the one about Adam Boulton and Anji Hunter?”

    Like

  78. 108
    Viewing Public says:

    We suspected they all sang from the same song sheet and now here’s the proof.

    Like

  79. 111
    geordieboy says:

    Please can we have blindfolds and a last cigarette.

    Like

  80. 113

    Go on piss in my pocket!

    Like

  81. 116
    Angel Gabriel says:

    Ok that’s the three wise men sorted,where’s the virgin?

    Like

  82. 118
    DYKEVISIONS says:

    Bow down to Faisal Islam unless if you work for Al (tickbox) Beeeb!

    Like

  83. 119
    Gerbil 7 says:

    As punishment for not being impartial, the offenders line up during a demonstration of Boris Johnson’s new water cannon.

    Like

  84. 125
    Toenails and the chumps says:

    We would just like to do a little song written by Gordon Brown.

    “There’s no business Like no business because there’s no business I know”

    Like

  85. 126
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    The old MKII robots still had to be operated by wire

    Like

  86. 129
    Banned says:

    Robinson: I even let Labour Party HQ attach long electrodes to my testicles so they can control me better.

    Like

  87. 130
    Tony Blair is a war criminal says:

    So that’s how Gordon Brown got his demands to old Nick!

    Like

  88. 131
    Gerbil 7 says:

    BBC staff attached a rope to Mr. Robinson fearing that they may not be able to rescue him following the trimming of his toenails.

    Like

  89. 132
    A Chinaman says:

    Dave has just insulted the Ruskies.

    Just wait until two warships appear off the North Sea coast facing Sunderland.

    Not the brightest lightbulb in the room is our Dave.

    Like

  90. 133
    The Critic says:

    Nick Robinso robot is launched. Initila consumer reaction is poor ‘I would rather watch my own feet’

    Like

  91. 134
    Len McFuck says:

    Does anyone have a spare Robinson charger?

    Like

  92. 137
    The Three Stooges! says:

    Are you sitting children? It is time for Jackanory!

    Like

  93. 138
    Strewth McCrikey! says:

    The Three Tenors have let themselves go a bit!

    Like

  94. 146
    Village Idiot says:

    …”Downing Street Line Dancing Dickheads,awaiting their musical cue!

    Like

  95. 151
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Adam Boulton and Tom Bradby broadcasting at the same time, “Downing Street have condemned Russia’s action in Crimea”.
    Nick Robinson some 20 seconds later, “the BBC has learnt that Downing Street have condemned Russia’s action in Crimea”.

    Like

  96. 152
    Programme Logistic Alignment Manager says:

    It’s the catheter the BBC provides that makes the BBC worth working for. Well, somebody’s got to take the piss and it may as well be us.

    Like

  97. 155
    PitPony says:

    See no UKIP, Hear no UKIP, and certainly not going to talk about them

    Like

  98. 157
    The Public says:

    Three guys no-one cares about get reasy to talk bollocks in a street.

    Like

  99. 158
    Len McFuck says:

    Government’s plugged in vehicles grant sees first practical roll-out

    Like

  100. 160
    Glynis Catton says:

    Right when we turn the rope, you jump in. Now skip!

    Like

  101. 161
    Thostids says:

    I look up to him as he is middle class…..

    Like

  102. 163
    Mercian says:

    Three little maids from school are we….

    Like

  103. 164
    Anonymous says:

    “Remind me. Which Three Degrees song are we doing?”

    Like

  104. 165
    Matt says:

    The quality of boy bands visiting Downing Street had seriously declined since One Direction.

    Like

  105. 167
    bogtrott says:

    press the button and nick drops his trousers then pulls them up

    Like

  106. 169
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Robinson feels the Conservativeleash tightening as the election approaches.

    Like

  107. 170
    The Tenz Machine controller at the BBC says:

    You know what happens if you go of the glorious leader in Brussels message.

    Like

  108. 173
    Where's the Gold Gordon says:

    I’ve got Vince Cable in my pocket

    Like

  109. 174
    sam says:

    When Nick has finished charging he will be all over this story.

    Like

  110. 175
    duck soup says:

    Chico, Harpo, Groucho

    Like

  111. 176
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Anthony Gormley’s new installation artwork “Another Placeman’ unveiled.

    Like

  112. 179
    Harry Krishna says:

    Robinson wanted to join SKY with no strings attached!

    Like

  113. 180
    Aparat says:

    “How to remove the strings from your photo: Photoshop Lesson #193″

    Like

    • 191
      Aparat says:

      “Learn with Number 10: Lesson #19: How to Remove the Strings, by Using Photoshop.”

      I know they’re outside No. 11, but hey ho.

      Like

  114. 181
    Adam, N, T... says:

    Stand and deliver

    Like

  115. 182
    Bakelite says:

    FFS toenails ….that fart was rancid.

    Like

  116. 184
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    Boulton: Do I look fat in this?

    Robinson: Yes.

    Other bloke: Who cares?

    Like

  117. 185
    Rightallalong says:

    Two minutes silence for their hero Tony Benn.

    Like

  118. 187

    The Temptations tribute act were a disappointment.

    Like

  119. 189
    That kid in that film says:

    I see dead people

    Like

  120. 190
    Hank Marvin says:

    When i said three Telecasters I meant bloody FENDERS

    Like

  121. 193
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest. (Behind The News Addition)”
    No more boring downtime or frantic searches for spare cells.
    Introducing, new Rampant Rabbit Battery Eliminator.

    Like

  122. 195
    Anonymous says:

    Nick Robinson – Hybrid Model.

    Like

  123. 196
    Gordon Straining Forward: 'Just Another Inch' - Mouth Gape says:

    ‘ Flatteries not included ‘

    Like

  124. 197
    Sesachili says:

    Hello, Good Evening, Welcome.

    Like

  125. 198

    Seeing those cords on the ground brings this to mind;
    “cum on Adam your turn to jump rope”

    Like

  126. 199
    Jack the Ripper says:

    GUY ON RIGHT : Shook hands with Cameron. Wristwatch gone.

    Like

  127. 200
    Anonymous says:

    Three cheeks, same arse.

    Like

  128. 201
    Rich Quest CNN says:

    Last time I had a piece of string in my pocket in Central Park I got arrested.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,542 other followers