March 21st, 2014

Eric Joyce Fined £1,500 Over Airport Fracas
Ordered to Pay £100 to Worker He Abused

Eric Joyce has pleaded guilty to abusive behaviour and been fined £1,500 over last May’s incident at Edinburgh airport. He also has to pay the airport worker he abused a hundred quid over an incident sources close to Joyce described to Guido as:

“Left phone on plane, went to bloke at BA counter saying ‘any chance of getting my phone back before the plane turns around & goes back to London?’ Bloke said words to the effect of ‘No, I’m busy’. Eric said ‘But my phone’, bloke said ‘Stop going on or I’m calling the cops’. Eric said ‘please do’, cops arrived, Eric said ‘B******s to this, I’m off’, one cop said Ok, one cop said not so fast. No drink, no hitting, which is nice.”

He says he is undecided about whether he wants to stay on as an MP after 2015:

“My instinct is to stay but I don’t know how I will feel in a few days. I am very embarrassed that this has happened. My constituents have seen this before, so they might think other apologies are not meant, but they are.”

Guido looks forward to hearing all about it on Eric’s blog…


  1. 1
    Dirk Diggler says:

    Bash the Bishop.

  2. 2
    the road to serfdom says:

    for god’s sake just go!

  3. 3
    He's been de-selected and isn't likely to win as an independent says:

    Stay on as an M.P. how?

  4. 4
    the road to serfdom says:

    The Dalai Lama on power…

    “The power of truth never declines. Force and violence may be effective in the short term, but in the long run it’s truth that prevails.”

    as long as force and violence are effective then we get can to the truth later

  5. 5
    Ah! FFS says:

    Sizzla says:
    March 12, 2014 at 10:29 am
    He’s got a German wife, good to see him going for British.

    So has the Duke of Edinburgh, can we move on now.

  6. 6
    Like flies to a dung heap says:

    Do all MPs have personality disorders of one sort or another?

    Seriously, for a group of just 630 people, there are an awful lot of freaks, perverts, thugs and kleptos in there.

  7. 7
    Breaking News says:

    Peter Tapsell to stand down as MP in 2015.

  8. 8
    Spoonface Cameron says:

    I will be standing down in 2015

    My address book is full

    I have been promised £10 million a year by the usual suspects

    Rotten job being PM except for the contacts

    And noone believes one word I say anymore

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t like the man but on this occasion I can believe him. Out of all the workers I come across airport staff are the worse . They are ignorant, insulting could not give a fuck attitude and if you so much as dare to raise a concern you get told well call the security.

  10. 10
    Ukrainian oligarch says:

    You are our serfs already

    And your PM and ex PM (who we have bunged) protect us

    So get used to it

  11. 11
    Mitch says:

    That genuinely cheered me up. Great big tub of lard.

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    So geedoughs wants to keep the ban on fox hunting well fine. Lets have a ban on fishing then or are working men’s sports exempt

    I mean the fish are dragged from their natural environment with a hook in the throat made to suffer out of the water for a photo of some twat who did it and then thrown back in. They don’t even eat it.

    At least foxes are vermin.

  13. 13
    Mitch says:

    This post is sponsored by 80/- and Bells.

  14. 14
    Garfield says:

    Phuck off, we are the hard-working working class and members of Unite Millibands boss.

  15. 15
    Madoff Mandelson in Moscow says:

    Did I hear the word vermin?

  16. 16
    We_Aim_To_Swerve says:

    Please check your personal belongings before alighting from plane because we guarantee that anyone else who gets on next will ‘ave ‘em!
    P.S. We pride ourselves on Customer Service and Security (not).

  17. 17
    Garfield says:

    You forgot obese.

  18. 18
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Joyce shows why we should let Scotland become independent.

  19. 19
    was it something I said? says:

    I agree. Most, if not all airline staff, are chiefly pre-occupied with their next free family holiday. Passengers are just a total fucking inconvenience.

  20. 20
    Baraco Barner says:

    Could have got a new phone on expenses!

  21. 21
    Mitch says:

    Joyce shows why childish, violent drunks should be locked up.

  22. 22
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Posh folk fish as well as you would understand if you’d ever been to a Scottish salmon river.

    Angling actually is a great leveller.

  23. 23
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    I once left several thousand dollars on a plane in a waist belt stuffed down the magazine holder.

    I only realised when I was checking in for my connecting flight.

    The airline staff could not have been more helpful. A quick phonecall and someone extracted the belt and I had it back in me paws within 10 minutes.

    But that was in Portugal. Never in a million miles could that have happened in Britain. Something about the supercilious British jobsworth when you give ‘em a uniform.

    Don’t blame Joyce one bit.

  24. 24
    jonny thatcher says:

    well,that version of events seems completely plausible

  25. 25
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    The Duke of Edinburgh is a bloody Greek.

  26. 26
    Prickteaser Alice says:

    His breath smelt of whisky and cigars.

  27. 27

    The burning question is , what the hell is an ex Major doing in the treacherous Labour party ?
    The army are well rid of this piece of drunken socialist filth !

  28. 28
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Hope he stands at the next election. He probably will not win but he’ll take quite a few Labour votes with him thus making it more difficult for McCluskey’s girlfriend to get into Parliament.

  29. 29
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Yes Joyce is basically a drunken lout but in this instance his story rings true based on my experience.

  30. 30
    Labour fire raiser says:

    C’mon Eric, you’re fine. Have a little drink, one won’t hurt.

  31. 31
    Handycock whipping it out says:

    Eric is innocent just like what I am. Boaz

  32. 32

    Not what is said, but how it is said. Could’ve had a ‘I am an MP’ tone.

  33. 33
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    Is he Scottish by any chance?

  34. 34
    Nemesis says:

    This twat is just a fucking thug. One day somebody will deck him once and for all.

  35. 35
    Myfanwy says:

    Drunk last night,
    Drunk the night before,
    why is it all these ex army guys are so attached to booze to be hoped they never went into battle stoned out of their minds

  36. 36
    Myfanwy says:

    Aye Jimmy

  37. 37
    Fox says:

    He says he is undecided about
    whether he wants to stay on as an MP
    after 2015:???

    Ffs. Dependent on the gravy train.

  38. 38
    Toontoon says:

    This total scumbag is the MP for my constituency ?!
    He thinks he might stay on ???!!!!!!! OMG this guy has absolutely no self respect whatsoever
    F off Joyce !!!

  39. 39

    Say what you like about him, but that’s the man you want dealing with Putin. If there’s one thing these people respect, it’s a violent alcoholic.

  40. 40
    Andrew says:

    At his age he’s entitled to be fat and smell of whisky and cigars, ffs.

  41. 41
    Andrew says:

    Is he the most objectionable arsehole in the present House of Commons, or is he failing even at that, in which case who is defeating him?

  42. 42
    Andrew says:

    If that held up the next planeload of passengers – and short-haul flying depends on a quick turn-around – you are a selfish twat.

    I once left something of value on a medium-haul flight at LHR and got it back. By being polite and even a bit humble – which would of course never occur to an MP, least of all that one.

  43. 43
    Death by Bongo says:

    Judging by the behavior of other MP’s – like Evans, Smith (Cyril) etc. I think Eric’s is remarkably restrained!!

  44. 44
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Bloke’s a total fucking psycho!

  45. 45
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Not just the British. My family and I were assailed by a particularly obnoxious, club-footed, uniformed Chinese bint near King’s Chapel in Cambridge a couple of years ago. Brought new meaning to the word “jobsworth”!

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    “Left phone on plane”
    and also forgot the new mantra: ‘the customer is always wrong’.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Travel by public transport, get treated like shit. And if the greenies get their way we will have no choice. Nice to see a politician having to take it for once.

  48. 48
    Rt Hon Eric Joyce M.P says:

    Dear Sir / Madam,

    Please find enclosed a claim for out of pocket expenses incurred while travelling on parliamentary business. Early settlement much appreciated.

    As Ever,

    Rt Hon Eric Joyce M.P

  49. 49
    Alex says:

    Airport staff are arrogant scum of the earth – very inclined to believe Joyce’s explanation, even with his previous form.

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