March 19th, 2014

What Should Be George Osborne’s Budget Drink?

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By tradition, the Chancellor, unlike Ministers at the despatch box at any other time of the year, may drink alcohol during the Budget speech. George Osborne has previously chosen to drink mineral water, as did the previous Chancellor Alistair Darling. Now George is running for leader he may want a more populist tipple next week…

Past Chancellors have chosen mineral water (Gordon Brown), whisky (Kenneth Clarke), spritzer (Nigel Lawson), gin and tonic (Geoffrey Howe), brandy and water (Benjamin Disraeli) and sherry and beaten egg (William Ewart Gladstone). The bookies will be giving odds next week, vote on what you reckon George should drink…


196 Comments

  1. 1
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Why is Arsenic not on the menu?

    Like

  2. 2
    Hic! says:

    Top Totty beer.

    Like

  3. 3
    lojolondon says:

    A pint. If he cares about England.

    Like

  4. 4
    Wallop says:

    Wallop

    Like

  5. 5
    broderick crawford says:

    everyone s gone home guido except sad bastards like us .

    it s friday and a sunny weekend forecast

    knock it on the head and come in bright and early monday

    Like

  6. 6
    Jabber jabber jabber says:

    How about a pint of free trade coffee to go with a box of liqueur chocs?

    Like

  7. 7
    Ed Balls Super Fan says:

    Paint stripper ?

    Like

  8. 8
    broderick crawford says:

    Is Paddy Power offering a free bottle of scotch for every losing bet ?

    if so i will go for greek ouzo .

    Like

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    He will follow the current tory policy of nicking all their policies from UKIP – it’ll be a pint of bitter.

    Like

  10. 9
    Anonymous says:

    He will follow the current tory policy of nicking all their policies from UKIP – it’ll be a pint of bitter.

    Like

  11. 11
    Ed Balls Super Fan says:

    Is Cleggy an official Tory yet ?

    Like

  12. 13
    widescreen2010 says:

    IPA

    Like

  13. 14
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    How about ‘A Slow Uncomfortable Screw’ ?

    Like

    • 49
      Max says:

      I think I need one, the things that are being said about me.
      They get worse and worse.
      I need a good PR firm.

      Like

  14. 16
    rank rank says:

    Semen. A pint of Croydons finest BBC baby batter

    Like

  15. 17
    Dumb and Dumber says:

    I would like a Triple Dip with some Bitter Lemon.

    Like

  16. 20
    A LibDem in a Marginal says:

    Cider

    Like

  17. 22
    C.O.Jones says:

    Creme de Menthe – keeps the greens and the Pope happy.

    Like

  18. 23
    albacore says:

    What Georgie Boy needs are some Bloody Marys
    Since, when the “Tories” are not being fairies
    They’re all for immigration and the E U
    As red as a tomato, no longer blue

    Like

  19. 25
    Chris Bryánt says:

    Bishops Finger

    Like

  20. 27
    East India Company Wallah says:

    A pint of Guinness
    Paddys Week starts monday and he is descended from a family of micks

    Like

    • 28
      Owen Jones says:

      Tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la… (fingers in ears)

      Like

  21. 29
    Gideon George Osborne says:

    Trusting a bank during an economic crisis is like trusting a fart whilst having diarrhoea.

    Like

  22. 30
    Shooty* says:

    “George is running for leader”.

    Missed that particular bombshell. For christ’s sake, did no one tell him that just because you can do something, that does not mean that you should do it?

    Even the “Well, I’m not as weird as Miliband” approach, while obviously true, cannot explain the reasoning here.

    Like

  23. 31
    Ventriloquist says:

    Gottle of geer.

    Like

  24. 32
    Sid Viscous says:

    Hemlock

    Vote UKIP.

    Like

  25. 33
    Righty Right! says:

    Hi nasty righties. Judging by earlier comments, some of you are enjoying Benn’s death, aren’t you? What’s that? The left celebrated Thatcher’s death? Not all of them, but some did, I grant you. So what you’re saying is that you’ll do the same as them? Instead of showing a bit of class, you’ll bring yourselves down to their level? Clever.

    Like

    • 34
      Quisling says:

      Can I simply repeat a line you have just used.

      Not all of them, but some did, I grant you.

      Now please Fuck off.

      Like

      • 35
        Righty Right! says:

        No, thanks. I quite enjoy seeing the right in all its vile, hate filled, racist, anti-gay, anti-anyone who isn’t right ghastliness.

        Like

        • 37
          Quisling says:

          Projecting are you?

          Like

        • 39
          Garfield says:

          anti-gay you say sounds like you like a bit of bumming.

          Like

          • Quisling says:

            Funny, he is the one that came here posting deliberately inflammatory stuff, and then has the gall to accuse us of being vile, hate filled etc etc

            Funny old world.

            Like

          • C O (Ξ6) says:

            It is mongoloid agitprop ;-)

            Like

          • Righty Right! says:

            No, but here are some people who do or did enjoy a bit of bumming or dining at the Y:

            Crispin Blunt
            Nigel Evans
            Alan Duncan
            Ted Heath
            Derek Laud
            Lord Boothby (personal friend of Mrs T and also had a thing for little boys shitting on him at house parties held by one of the Kray brothers)
            Daniel Kawczynski
            Stuart Andrew
            Gregory Barker
            Conor Burns
            Ruth Davidson
            Margot James
            Mike Freer
            Nick Herbert
            Eric Ollerenshaw
            Iain Stewart
            Guy Black

            Like

          • Garfield says:

            How come you have all these names of bummers, from bumming hall of fame maybe

            Like

          • Righty Right! says:

            No, from the online list available of Tory gays. Why was Maggie friends with bum lovers like Lord Boothby?

            Like

          • M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

            Not the brightest troll under the bridge are you?

            Like

    • 36
      Garfield says:

      Just wondering has anybody pointed out to you that appear to be a bit on the thick side.

      Like

    • 40
      Psychologist says:

      Yep. We are just like you really – only richer and more intelligent.

      Like

  26. 38
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “YES” – get in there Lord Windy. Were you on it guido? He!, He!, He!

    Like

  27. 43
    tlillis4 says:

    Whatever he drinks it will be easier to swallow than his budget.

    Like

  28. 44
    MB. says:

    Perhaps it is time to stop the consumption of alcohol in the Chamber, I prefer a sober Chancellor.

    Like

  29. 54
    He's a one is Tone says:

    Has Tony not given uo life for Lent?
    C’mon Tone, do the right thing.

    Like

  30. 55
    Like hell it is says:

    Gin, most English of drinks?

    Gin < genever = Dutch for juniper.

    Like

    • 60
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      But there is some very good English Whisky just appearing on the market.

      Like

    • 115
      Anonymous says:

      The Gordons and Tanqueray stuff is produced at the Cameron Brig distillery in Fife and bottled along the road in Leven. How ‘English’ is that, eh?

      Fnnarr…Fnnarr!

      Like

  31. 57
    Mrs Doyle! says:

    A cup of tea!

    Like

  32. 58
    Anonymous says:

    lukewarm piss

    Like

  33. 59
    Peter Expat says:

    Absinthe !

    Like

  34. 61
    Garfield says:

    John Kerry is giving a briefing on the Ukraine, he appears to be having difficulty in reading the speech that was prepared for him by some aide.

    Like

  35. 64
    Ewe n me & The Hërd Mentality says:

    Buckfast!

    Like

    • 195
      Sam the Skull drinking buckfast in Maryhill says:

      I’ll second that. And third, and fourth it as well. “Wreck the hoose juice” will unite Britain. From Land’s End to John o’Groates – imbibers all.

      Like

  36. 66
    Anonymous says:

    a pint of spunk and two grams of cocaine.

    Like

  37. 72

    Nothing if he doesn’t remove the wines and spirits tax escalator. A Pink Gin and Fracked Water if he does.

    Like

  38. 84
    non taxable pikey says:

    Give the bugger a Polonium enema.

    Like

  39. 85
  40. 88
    Harif Anni says:

    The sherry with beaten egg appears to go unmentioned.
    Its just me that thinks its fucking disgusting then?

    Like

  41. 89
    Jess The Dog says:

    Dominatrix piss with a dash of cocaine.

    Like

  42. 90
    Flange says:

    No doubt liquidised bank notes taken from my wages just so I can’t spend it my kids. The tax obsessed cretin.

    Like

  43. 92
    RIP, Tony Benn says:

    Gin, of course, though ideally…Strychnine…?

    Like

  44. 94
    Trigger says:

    Spad sperm and Coke, shaken not Evans’ed..

    Like

  45. 96
    George says:

    Have you got anything insipid, queasy, faintly disgusting and heavily over-priced?

    Like

  46. 99
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Drain-o.

    Like

  47. 101
    Adrian says:

    Inflation busting duty increases have to stop. Think, when all the political talk is about Europe, us Brits pay more duty on booze than Germany, Poland, France, Italy and Spain COMBINED. George Call time on duty.

    Like

  48. 102
    Arthur Stout says:

    Any way we are all pathetic we,as a nation are drinking less than last year and in fact for the last 10 years. I’m glad the exchequer is forecasting consumption growth in his budget, puts my faith back in politics that we will be encouraged to go on the piss again. Daft to put up duty above inflation then??!! Call time on duty George

    Like

  49. 105
    Anonymous says:

    “What Should Be George Osborne’s Budget Drink?”
    Socrates, on the rocks?

    Like

  50. 106
    All MP's are scum says:

    Hemlock on the rocks ?
    Sparkling cyanide ?

    Like

  51. 107
    Podiceps says:

    Not only the post but all the comments are repeated. Dull.

    Like

  52. 108
    BBC F@ggot Society says:

    Like

  53. 110
    Mistress Pain says:

    I once made him drink my piss.

    Like

  54. 113
    Déjà vu says:

    A most repetitious destination, think Iain Dale on a loop.

    Like

  55. 114
    albacore says:

    Isn’t the little puppet suckled by the E U?
    Judging by every damned thing that the LibLabCons do
    They rely for their meat, drink and very existence
    On serving the E U with desparate persistence

    Like

  56. 119
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Arsenic.

    Like

  57. 120
    An awkward bastard says:

    How about a glass of excellent UK, EU approved, tap water.

    Like

  58. 121
    The Cons in The Coalition says:

    He should give the Boy Clegg a Bitter Orange.

    Like

  59. 125
    Abiogenesis says:

    Strychnine or Hemlock. I don’t care which.

    Like

  60. 127
    Anonymous says:

    petrol or diesel may remind him how much tax they already take before they put it up

    Like

  61. 129
    Snorter says:

    Original recipe Coca-Cola

    Like

    • 134
      Ippikin says:

      I was privileged as a child to be given a bottle from the first crate of Coke to enter the UK. (apart from to Grosvenor Square and various Lincolnshire airfields)
      It was a 36 bottle crate with the stumpy bottles and never has anything since tasted quite so good.

      Like

  62. 130
    Liar.Politicians says:

    Osborne’s budget drink should be piss, because he sure likes taking it with his economics “knowledge”, and proudly Tweets it.

    Like

    • 141
      Ed. ‘NeoEndogenousGrowth’ Gonads says:

      Me ‘n Gordo put this Huntree right up the shitter – that takes an Oxfud edyercayshun y’know.

      Like

  63. 131
    Anonymous says:

    What’s wrong with Rum? Traditional British drink.

    Like

  64. 133
    Ippikin says:

    As George is so full of piss and wind, as he is going to expel the wind, he might as well drink the piss!

    Like

  65. 137

    My votes for poison.

    Like

  66. 138
    non taxable pikey says:

    There is to be a new one pound coin produced to counter fakes. It’s modelled on the old threepenny bit which is about what it is worth.

    Like

  67. 139
    A Slut from Harlow – it may be Sharon or Waynette or MeMeMe-ar says:

    Om a singorl mum an’ they cut moy munny an’ it AIN’TFARE!!!! NOWOTOYMEEN INNIT!!

    LOYK!!

    Like

  68. 140
    Ron Barras says:

    A cup of tea. Builders because he’s rebuilding our nation’s finances

    Like

  69. 142
    Ed Balls says:

    How about a cocktail which I just love “B.52″ ?

    Like

  70. 143
    Reader says:

    Guido, please let your sponsors know that this was a fairly dull post the first time round. It is not really worth recycling it.

    Like

  71. 144
    Slim Pickens says:

    What the hell is this ? The BBC ?

    Like

  72. 145
    Gideon George Osborne says:

    And over this parliament I have increased debt by, ahem, cough, errr, cough, splutter, cough ahem, 600 billion, ahem, anyway moving on.

    Like

  73. 146
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    Are postal votes allowed ref Osborne’s tipple ?

    Like

  74. 147
    F uc K th EU says:

    Molotov cocktail

    Like

  75. 148
    albacore says:

    “Cat piss and pepper”, the old folks used to label
    A drink that disgraced the fine fare on their table
    Now each must be spinning like a top in his grave
    At the E U crap served up by Ed, Nick and Dave

    Like

  76. 150
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Everytime Osborne mentions ‘Labours Legacy’ or ‘Hard Working People shout’ ‘Bingo’ at the TV or Radio, no mention of the Banks

    Like

  77. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Guido you like a bet don’t you?

    I wager that the Tories will not get any where near a majority in 2015. Take the bet now while the odds are still good and before the Euro elections.

    Not while that Liberal Democrat Cameron still holds the reigns at the top of his so called Tory party. In any case it really does not matter one jot who wins. They are all the same. In comparison to Europe, elections to Westminster are just like voting for the local parish council, but of course the pay,perks and expenses are far greater.

    You have more power as a voter if you are Scottish, Welsh,Channel Islanders, IOM. But by Christ you are well and truly fucked if you happen to be English!

    Like

    • 188
      Anonymous says:

      151. You are so right. Only option is to voter UKIP not because they will be any good but because they cannot do worse that the current lot of serve serving politicians we have now.

      Like

  78. 152
    Nick Clegg says:

    A slow start to voting in Osborne’s tipple with 2,437 votes cast.Come on chaps you can surely do better than that.

    Like

  79. 153
    kay burleyhuman says:

    well, here I am, away from the budget talk, miles from anywhere, wherever it is looking for the missing plane, myself, alone, for all you viewers back home so that I can bring you first hand information about whatever it is whenever it happens – you’ll be the first to hear the news, somehow, somewhere … whatever

    Like

    • 155
      aurora borealis says:

      she needs to get herself to the maldives – it does seem that it may be there. As it happens she has a better chance of finding it than the malaysian government which seems to be stumbling along at a snails pace over this.

      Like

      • 159
        The Royals says:

        To be honest, the Maldives are pretty dull. A couple of weeks and you are ready for a real holiday.

        Like

      • 174
        Bosun Higgs says:

        I thought the Maldives had sunk into the ocean because of global warming? Or did they make that up?

        Like

      • 179
        Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill Al Eco-loons says:

        The mystery of Malaysia flight 370 is finally solved :-)

        Like

  80. 154
    aurora borealis says:

    Just heard militwit whining away on the radio about his ‘cost of living crisis’ . Why is it this man can only learn one meaningless phrase at a time which he then repeats ad nauseum.?

    Like

    • 157
      The Co-op says:

      It’s a cost of thinking crisis. Labour are broke and can only afford to spout one inane idea a year

      Like

    • 183
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill Al Eco-loons says:

      Miliband should call on the government to abolish the telly tax, so as to ease the cost of living for the poor and squeezed middle :-)

      Like

  81. 156
    Publicist says:

    As a rule, I only ever have a small one.

    Like

  82. 158
    Nick Clegg says:

    And if the Conservative led coalition can find money for HS2 they can find it for anything.

    Hear ! Hear !

    Like

    • 182
      EU to me says:

      They sacked thousands in the military, but had plenty of money ready to use to buy bombs to bomb Syria and no doubt to give to the EU to “help” Ukraine, they have plenty of money for everything but their own taxpayers, LibLabCon enemies of the people.

      Like

  83. 160
    HEY CAMERON ! WHAT ABOUT THE REAL HARD WORKING FAMILIES ? says:

    Sulphuric acid !

    Like

  84. 163
    HEY CAMERON ! WHAT ABOUT THE REAL HARD WORKING FAMILIES ? says:

    He won’t mind so long as he can get his lips around a large stiff one

    Like

  85. 166
    HEY CAMERON ! WHAT ABOUT THE REAL HARD WORKING FAMILIES ? says:

    Big fat lump of shite who starred in “Benefits street ” on sky
    “I really do want to work , but only once i get my depression and mental health issues under control ” “and yes i did say i would like to stand for parliament”
    FFS enter politics ? she probably cant even spell it

    Like

    • 170
      was it something I said? says:

      Yes I do want to work. Just not today. Or tomorrow. Or at any fixed point in the future.

      Like

  86. 167
    Bosun Higgs says:

    A mixture of Hollands gin and the juice from a jar of cockles, with a dash of creme de banane.

    Like

  87. 169
    Ballsey says:

    Arsenic

    Like

  88. 171
    The real Owen Jones says:

    24 Tory tax rises under George Osborne

    http://www.leftfootforward.org/2014/03/24-tory-tax-rises-under-george-osborne/

    Like

    • 176
      Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

      Amateur !! Stealth taxes are the way to disaster.

      Like

    • 178
      Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

      Why does this Government need to raise revenues ?

      Have the Money Trees been stolen ?

      Like

    • 187
      Liebour not Englands friend says:

      I keep forgetting that Liebour and their tax rises were whitewashed away in their 1997 to 2010 reign of terror, sorry Liebour have never been in government even that was whitewashed.

      Like

  89. 172
    HEY CAMERON ! WHAT ABOUT THE REAL HARD WORKING FAMILIES ? says:

    How about “the cum of sum yun guy” ?

    Like

  90. 185
    Guy News Room Spokesperson says:

    Has anyone found Kay Burley yet? She was last seen in Malaysia. All her transponders now appear to be turned off.

    Like

  91. 186
    HEY CAMERON ! WHAT ABOUT THE REAL HARD WORKING FAMILIES ? says:

    Dave’s latest great idea to waste millions of pounds of OUR money
    Scrap the pound coin and bring out a shiney new one !

    How much is that going to cost , to change every vending machine mechanism in the country ? against all the so called forgeries in circulation ?
    i had a forgery about 20 years ago (still got it ) and to date it is the only one i have ever seen
    i have seen many more forged notes than pound coins

    Like

  92. 189
    SKY NEWS says:

    I know how we will find this missing plane
    We will send Kay Burley over on a jolly to harrass the shit out of the officials
    and encourage the relatives with their hunger strike

    Like

  93. 190
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Like

    • 192
      jgm2 says:

      Told you.

      It’s not that they were wrong (even though they were). They just weren’t wrong enough for long enough. If they’d been wrong enough for long enough they’d eventually have been proved right. Or not.

      Balls is as fucking mental as Brown.

      Like

  94. 191
    DAVE one term flop CAMERON says:

    “The bookies will be giving odds next week, vote on what you reckon George should drink…”

    But i thought the budget was today ? So everyone will know by then

    Like

    • 193
      Ellie-Mae (9) says:

      That’s because it’s a lazy repeat of last weeks entry. Guido is now doing a “private eye” on himself….and he’s getting paid to do it.

      Like

  95. 196
    Old Fashioned Apothecary says:

    Hemlock

    Like


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