March 19th, 2014

What Should Be George Osborne’s Budget Drink?

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By tradition, the Chancellor, unlike Ministers at the despatch box at any other time of the year, may drink alcohol during the Budget speech. George Osborne has previously chosen to drink mineral water, as did the previous Chancellor Alistair Darling. Now George is running for leader he may want a more populist tipple next week…

Past Chancellors have chosen mineral water (Gordon Brown), whisky (Kenneth Clarke), spritzer (Nigel Lawson), gin and tonic (Geoffrey Howe), brandy and water (Benjamin Disraeli) and sherry and beaten egg (William Ewart Gladstone). The bookies will be giving odds next week, vote on what you reckon George should drink…


  1. 1
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Why is Arsenic not on the menu?

  2. 2
    Hic! says:

    Top Totty beer.

  3. 3
    lojolondon says:

    A pint. If he cares about England.

  4. 4
    Wallop says:


  5. 5
    broderick crawford says:

    everyone s gone home guido except sad bastards like us .

    it s friday and a sunny weekend forecast

    knock it on the head and come in bright and early monday

  6. 6
    Jabber jabber jabber says:

    How about a pint of free trade coffee to go with a box of liqueur chocs?

  7. 7
    Ed Balls Super Fan says:

    Paint stripper ?

  8. 8
    broderick crawford says:

    Is Paddy Power offering a free bottle of scotch for every losing bet ?

    if so i will go for greek ouzo .

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    He will follow the current tory policy of nicking all their policies from UKIP – it’ll be a pint of bitter.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    He will follow the current tory policy of nicking all their policies from UKIP – it’ll be a pint of bitter.

  11. 11
    Ed Balls Super Fan says:

    Is Cleggy an official Tory yet ?

  12. 12
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Strychnine is faster acting.

  13. 13
    widescreen2010 says:


  14. 14
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    How about ‘A Slow Uncomfortable Screw’ ?

  15. 15
    Ed Miliband says:


  16. 16
    rank rank says:

    Semen. A pint of Croydons finest BBC baby batter

  17. 17
    Dumb and Dumber says:

    I would like a Triple Dip with some Bitter Lemon.

  18. 18
    Ed Miliband says:

    And what if you hate England?

  19. 19
    Owen Jones says:


  20. 20
    A LibDem in a Marginal says:


  21. 21
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Agreed, but heavy metals prolong the agony. A cocktail of both would be appropriate.

  22. 22
    C.O.Jones says:

    Creme de Menthe – keeps the greens and the Pope happy.

  23. 23
    albacore says:

    What Georgie Boy needs are some Bloody Marys
    Since, when the “Tories” are not being fairies
    They’re all for immigration and the E U
    As red as a tomato, no longer blue

  24. 24
    England says:

    Fuck off

  25. 25
    Chris Bryánt says:

    Bishops Finger

  26. 26
    Not Brown Ale says:

    Russian Imperial Stout

  27. 27
    East India Company Wallah says:

    A pint of Guinness
    Paddys Week starts monday and he is descended from a family of micks

  28. 28
    Owen Jones says:

    Tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la… (fingers in ears)

  29. 29
    Gideon George Osborne says:

    Trusting a bank during an economic crisis is like trusting a fart whilst having diarrhoea.

  30. 30
    Shooty* says:

    “George is running for leader”.

    Missed that particular bombshell. For christ’s sake, did no one tell him that just because you can do something, that does not mean that you should do it?

    Even the “Well, I’m not as weird as Miliband” approach, while obviously true, cannot explain the reasoning here.

  31. 31
    Ventriloquist says:

    Gottle of geer.

  32. 32
    Sid Viscous says:


    Vote UKIP.

  33. 33
    Righty Right! says:

    Hi nasty righties. Judging by earlier comments, some of you are enjoying Benn’s death, aren’t you? What’s that? The left celebrated Thatcher’s death? Not all of them, but some did, I grant you. So what you’re saying is that you’ll do the same as them? Instead of showing a bit of class, you’ll bring yourselves down to their level? Clever.

  34. 34
    Quisling says:

    Can I simply repeat a line you have just used.

    Not all of them, but some did, I grant you.

    Now please Fuck off.

  35. 35
    Righty Right! says:

    No, thanks. I quite enjoy seeing the right in all its vile, hate filled, racist, anti-gay, anti-anyone who isn’t right ghastliness.

  36. 36
    Garfield says:

    Just wondering has anybody pointed out to you that appear to be a bit on the thick side.

  37. 37
    Quisling says:

    Projecting are you?

  38. 38
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “YES” – get in there Lord Windy. Were you on it guido? He!, He!, He!

  39. 39
    Garfield says:

    anti-gay you say sounds like you like a bit of bumming.

  40. 40
    Psychologist says:

    Yep. We are just like you really – only richer and more intelligent.

  41. 41
    Quisling says:

    Funny, he is the one that came here posting deliberately inflammatory stuff, and then has the gall to accuse us of being vile, hate filled etc etc

    Funny old world.

  42. 42
    Penis envy says:

    Vote Labour

  43. 43
    tlillis4 says:

    Whatever he drinks it will be easier to swallow than his budget.

  44. 44
    MB. says:

    Perhaps it is time to stop the consumption of alcohol in the Chamber, I prefer a sober Chancellor.

  45. 45
    Ed Miliband says:

    Don’t worry, once my work here is done, I will.

  46. 46
    C O (Ξ6) says:

    It is mongoloid agitprop ;-)

  47. 47
    HOC wino's retreat has vacancies in 2015 says:

    Prefer them pissed, they have moew chance of hurting themselves than us plebs.

  48. 48
    Nigel Evans says:

    If it was me it’d be All of the Above, Ducky!

  49. 49
    Max says:

    I think I need one, the things that are being said about me.
    They get worse and worse.
    I need a good PR firm.

  50. 50
    HOC wino's retreat has vacancies in 2015 says:


  51. 51
    Yokel says:

    Oy loik Deepin Cider, me.

  52. 52
    Rachel Johnson - lovely top bollocks says:

    Good idea.

    He should drink a bucket of Boris Johnson’s piss.

  53. 53
    Righty Right! says:

    No, but here are some people who do or did enjoy a bit of bumming or dining at the Y:

    Crispin Blunt
    Nigel Evans
    Alan Duncan
    Ted Heath
    Derek Laud
    Lord Boothby (personal friend of Mrs T and also had a thing for little boys shitting on him at house parties held by one of the Kray brothers)
    Daniel Kawczynski
    Stuart Andrew
    Gregory Barker
    Conor Burns
    Ruth Davidson
    Margot James
    Mike Freer
    Nick Herbert
    Eric Ollerenshaw
    Iain Stewart
    Guy Black

  54. 54
    He's a one is Tone says:

    Has Tony not given uo life for Lent?
    C’mon Tone, do the right thing.

  55. 55
    Like hell it is says:

    Gin, most English of drinks?

    Gin < genever = Dutch for juniper.

  56. 56
    Rachel Johnson - lovely top bollocks says:

    Tit wank anyone?

  57. 57
    Mrs Doyle! says:

    A cup of tea!

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    lukewarm piss

  59. 59
    Peter Expat says:

    Absinthe !

  60. 60
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    But there is some very good English Whisky just appearing on the market.

  61. 61
    Garfield says:

    John Kerry is giving a briefing on the Ukraine, he appears to be having difficulty in reading the speech that was prepared for him by some aide.

  62. 62
    Garfield says:

    How come you have all these names of bummers, from bumming hall of fame maybe

  63. 63
    Blowing Smoke says:

    Heavy metals like Fluoride?

  64. 64
    Ewe n me & The Hërd Mentality says:


  65. 65
    jgm2 says:

    Strong genes that Mr Johnson. Every time I see a picture of Rachel all I see is Boris in drag.

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    a pint of spunk and two grams of cocaine.

  67. 67
    jgm2 says:

    The Polonium is starting to work.

  68. 68
    The Guardian says:

    Typically racist of Osborne to assume a British drink should be chosen.

    We assume a Polish Tyskie beer or Islamic sweet mint tea would have been entirely more appropriate for the vast majority of the residents of the UK.

  69. 69
    Cast Iron dave says:

    So will I

  70. 70
    Rachel Johnson - lovely top bollocks says:

    All I see is a lovely pair of 32E’s.

    Game girl – likes her fun.

  71. 71
    Nick Clegg says:

    Don’t forget I hate this country as well.

    I’m only interested in power at any cost and of course my loveerrrly EU pension.

  72. 72

    Nothing if he doesn’t remove the wines and spirits tax escalator. A Pink Gin and Fracked Water if he does.

  73. 73
    Ed Millibands dad says:

    I think all you young pretenders need to remember who hated this country the most, and who hated it first, ie me.

    Just remember that when your hating the country, you learnt it all from old marxists like me.

  74. 74

    nonsense. Kerry is one of the best useful idiots Putin could wish for. A lantern jaw without a flicker of the light of intelligence.

  75. 75
    Tony Benn says:

    I’ve only been gone less than a day…..

    Have you forgotten already I hated ‘Britishness’ quite a lot as well.

  76. 76
    Ed Milliband says:

    Whats is ?… “a pint of bitter”

  77. 77
    Everbody thinks it says:

    No, he still just a cnut like dave

  78. 78
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You two are a real gas – i replied to your inferences in todays first blog. You pair of old obssessives! Keep them blinkers firmly fixed now lads.

  79. 79
    Everbody thinks it says:

    Or a flat line and ale for the chubby Ed Balls.

  80. 80
    Everbody thinks it says:

    Rachael Johnson is the spit of Sally, but with a bit more makeup.

  81. 81
    Marc Almond says:

    Same again for me please.

  82. 82
    Boy George says:

    It’s a spunk shandy top for me.

  83. 83
    Owen Jones & Ed Milliband says:

    Mummy, can we try that big boys drink pleeeeeease….

  84. 84
    non taxable pikey says:

    Give the bugger a Polonium enema.

  85. 85
  86. 86
    Maurice Dancing says:

    Heavy Metal is banned.

  87. 87
    Podiceps says:

    Amazed you didn’t suggest blood.

  88. 88
    Harif Anni says:

    The sherry with beaten egg appears to go unmentioned.
    Its just me that thinks its fucking disgusting then?

  89. 89
    Jess The Dog says:

    Dominatrix piss with a dash of cocaine.

  90. 90
    Flange says:

    No doubt liquidised bank notes taken from my wages just so I can’t spend it my kids. The tax obsessed cretin.

  91. 91
    Righty Right! says:

    No, from the online list available of Tory gays. Why was Maggie friends with bum lovers like Lord Boothby?

  92. 92
    RIP, Tony Benn says:

    Gin, of course, though ideally…Strychnine…?

  93. 93
    Editor in Chief says:

    The Dog’s Bollocks, but only half a pint.

  94. 94
    Trigger says:

    Spad sperm and Coke, shaken not Evans’ed..

  95. 95
    Barman says:

    A small, slow, grease stain against the wall.

  96. 96
    George says:

    Have you got anything insipid, queasy, faintly disgusting and heavily over-priced?

  97. 97
    and yet says:

    … makes the heart grow fonder…

  98. 98
    and yet says:

    Only one hippo left, guv.

  99. 99
    Sir Mary Flappes says:


  100. 100
    Black Jack says:

    H Harmskids is still available for impromptu showing, if you know what I mean.

  101. 101
    Adrian says:

    Inflation busting duty increases have to stop. Think, when all the political talk is about Europe, us Brits pay more duty on booze than Germany, Poland, France, Italy and Spain COMBINED. George Call time on duty.

  102. 102
    Arthur Stout says:

    Any way we are all pathetic we,as a nation are drinking less than last year and in fact for the last 10 years. I’m glad the exchequer is forecasting consumption growth in his budget, puts my faith back in politics that we will be encouraged to go on the piss again. Daft to put up duty above inflation then??!! Call time on duty George

  103. 103
    RightwinggitRedux says:

    Can you liquefy sarin?

  104. 104
    RightwinggitRedux says:

    Hate England?

    Easy, look into the muzzle, er lens of this special camera I’m holding.


    Wait for flash.

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    “What Should Be George Osborne’s Budget Drink?”
    Socrates, on the rocks?

  106. 106
    All MP's are scum says:

    Hemlock on the rocks ?
    Sparkling cyanide ?

  107. 107
    Podiceps says:

    Not only the post but all the comments are repeated. Dull.

  108. 108
    BBC F@ggot Society says:

  109. 109
    R. Lee Keno says:

    Knowing him, it’ll be a pint of Ass Clown. Bet on it.

  110. 110
    Mistress Pain says:

    I once made him drink my piss.

  111. 111
    No, sorry says:

    Lard Prescott’s eaten her.

  112. 112
    Don't like to carp but ..... says:

    It’s been three days – someone thinks we’ve forgotten already.

  113. 113
    Déjà vu says:

    A most repetitious destination, think Iain Dale on a loop.

  114. 114
    albacore says:

    Isn’t the little puppet suckled by the E U?
    Judging by every damned thing that the LibLabCons do
    They rely for their meat, drink and very existence
    On serving the E U with desparate persistence

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    The Gordons and Tanqueray stuff is produced at the Cameron Brig distillery in Fife and bottled along the road in Leven. How ‘English’ is that, eh?


  116. 116
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    I think George would like to get his lips round a Black Russian.

  117. 117
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Not the brightest troll under the bridge are you?

  118. 118
    looneywatch says:

    Says the single issue nutter who is chasing posters around the blogs.

  119. 119
    Long John Silver's parrot says:


  120. 120
    An awkward bastard says:

    How about a glass of excellent UK, EU approved, tap water.

  121. 121
    The Cons in The Coalition says:

    He should give the Boy Clegg a Bitter Orange.

  122. 122
    L Finn-Spector says:

    Passed by the management ? You must be taking the

  123. 123
    EU diktat no.666 billion says:

    Pints will be banned.

  124. 124
    Putin on the Ritz says:

    A Polonium Surprise against the wall – is what I’d give him

  125. 125
    Abiogenesis says:

    Strychnine or Hemlock. I don’t care which.

  126. 126
    Mr Harmskids says:

    Maybe he might fancy PIE.

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    petrol or diesel may remind him how much tax they already take before they put it up

  128. 128
    M Oaten says:

    You didn’t, did you?

  129. 129
    Snorter says:

    Original recipe Coca-Cola

  130. 130
    Liar.Politicians says:

    Osborne’s budget drink should be piss, because he sure likes taking it with his economics “knowledge”, and proudly Tweets it.

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    What’s wrong with Rum? Traditional British drink.

  132. 132
    UKIP says:

    Looking forward to the day when Nigel’s Chancellor does it with a pint of Best British Ale beside him/her.

  133. 133
    Ippikin says:

    As George is so full of piss and wind, as he is going to expel the wind, he might as well drink the piss!

  134. 134
    Ippikin says:

    I was privileged as a child to be given a bottle from the first crate of Coke to enter the UK. (apart from to Grosvenor Square and various Lincolnshire airfields)
    It was a 36 bottle crate with the stumpy bottles and never has anything since tasted quite so good.

  135. 135
    UK Fred says:

    I thought it was “makes the mind go wander”

  136. 136
    UK Fred says:

    I hope George will buy a round of both for all the members of both houses.

  137. 137

    My votes for poison.

  138. 138
    non taxable pikey says:

    There is to be a new one pound coin produced to counter fakes. It’s modelled on the old threepenny bit which is about what it is worth.

  139. 139
    A Slut from Harlow – it may be Sharon or Waynette or MeMeMe-ar says:

    Om a singorl mum an’ they cut moy munny an’ it AIN’TFARE!!!! NOWOTOYMEEN INNIT!!


  140. 140
    Ron Barras says:

    A cup of tea. Builders because he’s rebuilding our nation’s finances

  141. 141
    Ed. ‘NeoEndogenousGrowth’ Gonads says:

    Me ‘n Gordo put this Huntree right up the shitter – that takes an Oxfud edyercayshun y’know.

  142. 142
    Ed Balls says:

    How about a cocktail which I just love “B.52″ ?

  143. 143
    Reader says:

    Guido, please let your sponsors know that this was a fairly dull post the first time round. It is not really worth recycling it.

  144. 144
    Slim Pickens says:

    What the hell is this ? The BBC ?

  145. 145
    Gideon George Osborne says:

    And over this parliament I have increased debt by, ahem, cough, errr, cough, splutter, cough ahem, 600 billion, ahem, anyway moving on.

  146. 146
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    Are postal votes allowed ref Osborne’s tipple ?

  147. 147
    F uc K th EU says:

    Molotov cocktail

  148. 148
    albacore says:

    “Cat piss and pepper”, the old folks used to label
    A drink that disgraced the fine fare on their table
    Now each must be spinning like a top in his grave
    At the E U crap served up by Ed, Nick and Dave

  149. 149
    F uc K th EU says:

    Le Pen thinks more of her than I do then.

  150. 150
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Everytime Osborne mentions ‘Labours Legacy’ or ‘Hard Working People shout’ ‘Bingo’ at the TV or Radio, no mention of the Banks

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Guido you like a bet don’t you?

    I wager that the Tories will not get any where near a majority in 2015. Take the bet now while the odds are still good and before the Euro elections.

    Not while that Liberal Democrat Cameron still holds the reigns at the top of his so called Tory party. In any case it really does not matter one jot who wins. They are all the same. In comparison to Europe, elections to Westminster are just like voting for the local parish council, but of course the pay,perks and expenses are far greater.

    You have more power as a voter if you are Scottish, Welsh,Channel Islanders, IOM. But by Christ you are well and truly fucked if you happen to be English!

  152. 152
    Nick Clegg says:

    A slow start to voting in Osborne’s tipple with 2,437 votes cast.Come on chaps you can surely do better than that.

  153. 153
    kay burleyhuman says:

    well, here I am, away from the budget talk, miles from anywhere, wherever it is looking for the missing plane, myself, alone, for all you viewers back home so that I can bring you first hand information about whatever it is whenever it happens – you’ll be the first to hear the news, somehow, somewhere … whatever

  154. 154
    aurora borealis says:

    Just heard militwit whining away on the radio about his ‘cost of living crisis’ . Why is it this man can only learn one meaningless phrase at a time which he then repeats ad nauseum.?

  155. 155
    aurora borealis says:

    she needs to get herself to the maldives – it does seem that it may be there. As it happens she has a better chance of finding it than the malaysian government which seems to be stumbling along at a snails pace over this.

  156. 156
    Publicist says:

    As a rule, I only ever have a small one.

  157. 157
    The Co-op says:

    It’s a cost of thinking crisis. Labour are broke and can only afford to spout one inane idea a year

  158. 158
    Nick Clegg says:

    And if the Conservative led coalition can find money for HS2 they can find it for anything.

    Hear ! Hear !

  159. 159
    The Royals says:

    To be honest, the Maldives are pretty dull. A couple of weeks and you are ready for a real holiday.

  160. 160

    Sulphuric acid !

  161. 161
    was it something I said? says:

    Heavy metal? Like Fluoride?

  162. 162
    was it something I said? says:

    Whisky you mean?

  163. 163

    He won’t mind so long as he can get his lips around a large stiff one

  164. 164
    was it something I said? says:


    It’s a fucking Brummie.

    It’s white Dee.

  165. 165
    was it something I said? says:

    It’s a cost of Labour crisis.

  166. 166

    Big fat lump of shite who starred in “Benefits street ” on sky
    “I really do want to work , but only once i get my depression and mental health issues under control ” “and yes i did say i would like to stand for parliament”
    FFS enter politics ? she probably cant even spell it

  167. 167
    Bosun Higgs says:

    A mixture of Hollands gin and the juice from a jar of cockles, with a dash of creme de banane.

  168. 168
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Heavy Salt, like Fluoride…there fixed it for him, wisis

  169. 169
    Ballsey says:


  170. 170
    was it something I said? says:

    Yes I do want to work. Just not today. Or tomorrow. Or at any fixed point in the future.

  171. 171
    The real Owen Jones says:

    24 Tory tax rises under George Osborne

  172. 172

    How about “the cum of sum yun guy” ?

  173. 173
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    You’re more of a babycham chap really aren’t you Ed?

  174. 174
    Bosun Higgs says:

    I thought the Maldives had sunk into the ocean because of global warming? Or did they make that up?

  175. 175
    Allergic to sulphuric acid says:

  176. 176
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Amateur !! Stealth taxes are the way to disaster.

  177. 177
    Bingo wings says:

    I hope she is declaring all payments received from her ‘media work’.

  178. 178
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    Why does this Government need to raise revenues ?

    Have the Money Trees been stolen ?

  179. 179
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill Al Eco-loons says:

    The mystery of Malaysia flight 370 is finally solved :-)

  180. 180
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Paris Hilton?

  181. 181
    Di-Ann Fatbutt says:

    Ha ha, me me me whitey!

  182. 182
    EU to me says:

    They sacked thousands in the military, but had plenty of money ready to use to buy bombs to bomb Syria and no doubt to give to the EU to “help” Ukraine, they have plenty of money for everything but their own taxpayers, LibLabCon enemies of the people.

  183. 183
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill Al Eco-loons says:

    Miliband should call on the government to abolish the telly tax, so as to ease the cost of living for the poor and squeezed middle :-)

  184. 184
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill Al Eco-loons says:

    A song about Cathy Ashton?

  185. 185
    Guy News Room Spokesperson says:

    Has anyone found Kay Burley yet? She was last seen in Malaysia. All her transponders now appear to be turned off.

  186. 186

    Dave’s latest great idea to waste millions of pounds of OUR money
    Scrap the pound coin and bring out a shiney new one !

    How much is that going to cost , to change every vending machine mechanism in the country ? against all the so called forgeries in circulation ?
    i had a forgery about 20 years ago (still got it ) and to date it is the only one i have ever seen
    i have seen many more forged notes than pound coins

  187. 187
    Liebour not Englands friend says:

    I keep forgetting that Liebour and their tax rises were whitewashed away in their 1997 to 2010 reign of terror, sorry Liebour have never been in government even that was whitewashed.

  188. 188
    Anonymous says:

    151. You are so right. Only option is to voter UKIP not because they will be any good but because they cannot do worse that the current lot of serve serving politicians we have now.

  189. 189
    SKY NEWS says:

    I know how we will find this missing plane
    We will send Kay Burley over on a jolly to harrass the shit out of the officials
    and encourage the relatives with their hunger strike

  190. 190
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  191. 191
    DAVE one term flop CAMERON says:

    “The bookies will be giving odds next week, vote on what you reckon George should drink…”

    But i thought the budget was today ? So everyone will know by then

  192. 192
    jgm2 says:

    Told you.

    It’s not that they were wrong (even though they were). They just weren’t wrong enough for long enough. If they’d been wrong enough for long enough they’d eventually have been proved right. Or not.

    Balls is as fucking mental as Brown.

  193. 193
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    That’s because it’s a lazy repeat of last weeks entry. Guido is now doing a “private eye” on himself….and he’s getting paid to do it.

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    You don’t need a whole pint of arsenic.

  195. 195
    Sam the Skull drinking buckfast in Maryhill says:

    I’ll second that. And third, and fourth it as well. “Wreck the hoose juice” will unite Britain. From Land’s End to John o’Groates – imbibers all.

  196. 196
    Old Fashioned Apothecary says:


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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