March 19th, 2014

BUDGET SKETCH: Miliband’s Privileged Few

A Budget of the, by the, for the privileged, Miliband said, and it certainly felt like that. If you count business-owners, export-manufacturers, pension-holders, tax-payers, theatre-producers, ISA-investors, beer-drinkers, Premium Bond-buyers, children-keepers, bingo-players, pothole-haters, car-drivers and people with a propensity to vote as privileged then it probably was.

You’ll also be happy if you support the Magna Carta Trust – they got a handsome grant. I couldn’t catch how much they were given, but Osborne declared he wanted to support the commemoration of a weak leader who betrayed his brother and was humiliated by unruly barons into signing on the line. That was worth the grant whatever it was.

Ed Balls came up with a new gesture. Waggling one hand with splayed downturned fingers and nudging his elbow sideways. My deaf friend said, “Before the watershed? That’s just disgusting.”

Ed Miliband left his nice private voice behind in PMQs and ventured into his upper register. He really doesn’t belong up there. He used – or overused – the trope of asking the Chancellor to “just nod” if they were going to do something or other. It’s not funny any more.

He also described Michael Gove (sitting beside the Speaker’s chair) as being “on the naughty step”.

Those aren’t words to be used by an Opposition leader in a Budget reply as we head into election year.

Working people are worse off, he says. Working people are better off, his opponents say. They’re working.

So, the next election looks like the Cost of Living Crisis versus Vote for Your Job.

And this time next year, with an election a month away, the last Budget will promise a stonking tax cut to cut the cost of living, and a cut in National Insurance to secure people’s jobs.

And Miliband’s “privileged few” (see paragraph one) might just swing an outright majority for the Tories.


  1. 1
    Get to fuck says:

    Coming from a c-unting Labour front bench of fucking fuckwitted c-unting privileged c-unts who trough off the public and live by the “do as I say, not as I do” mantra, it’s so hypocritical as to be perverse.

    Put simply: Ed and Ed, go fuck yourselves seventy ways from Sunday.

  2. 2
    Skeleton Bob says:

    The cost of living increase was needed to pay for the partying of the night before. The only alternative was the elusive magic money tree.

  3. 3
    Get to fuck says:

    What was that about privilege, Ed?

  4. 4
    Gooey Blob says:

    I don’t know where Miliband goes from here, he’s starting to sound like a stuck record. No ideas, no answers, just parroting the same tired old lines we’ve heard countless times before.

  5. 5
    Gooey Blob says:

    Still, nice to see Ed Balls has been allowed out of the incompetence cupboard for a day.

  6. 6
    was it something I said? says:

    If there was a reply to the budget reply then that would be the essence of it.

  7. 7
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All eco-loons says:

    A golden opportunity missed by Osborne to abolish the telly tax so as to ease the cost of living on the poorest households, to end the ridiculous clogging of magistrates courts for non payment and to open up the market to new media companies by auctioning off the BBC’s TV & radio frequencies.

    They will be popping champagne corks at the BBC tonight instead of downing bottles of hemlock as should have been the case.

    The election is in the bag for Miliband and Labour :-(

  8. 8
    Bluto says:

    Serried ranks of red scum. Just look at them.

  9. 9
    was it something I said? says:

    Miliband’s reply was just shit. In fact it aspired to being shit. It was just every soundbite from the last four years lumped together.

    ‘There you go BBC News at Ten. Take your pick.’

    Did he get ‘One Nation’ in? I turned off after a bit.

    He’s fucking shit. But at least we now know what his ‘Leadership Debate’ is going to consist of. There’ll be no ‘debate’. It’ll just be five minutes of random slurred soundbites.

    ‘Cotht of living kwithith’


  10. 10
    Vlad the G(r)8 says:

    Same Old Tories, dei gratia!

  11. 11
    Bluto says:

    Why is Son of Communist always surrounded by silly left-wing schoolgirls? When does this country get the prospect of being run by proper grown ups?

  12. 12
    bergen says:

    Milliband’s obviously given up on the middle ground. He’s going for the 35% immigrant/ welfare/ public sector coalition and hoping that a combination of rigged boundaries, postal vote fraud and a Ukip insurgency will land him into No. 10.

  13. 13
    was it something I said? says:

    It’s what’s called a target rich environment.

  14. 14
  15. 15
  16. 16
    OnBenefits says:

    Share prices are tumbling in the criminal financial sector as their most profitable product (the annuity) has been judicially murdered. On the face of it, it looks like a few corporate lobbyists have not been doing their jobs. Unless of course, there is a way for them to make drawdown just as profitable..

  17. 17
    Alky Ada says:

    Ok, so – dust settled, and we can look at this for what it was, which is an attempt to get non-Conservative voters switching to the Tory party in time to give them an outright majority at next year’s General Election.

    Is it going to work? Well, as ever, aside from hardworking but statistically-insignificant bingo callers and alcoholics too drunk to make it to the polling station anyway, the main beneficiaries of this budget appear to be big business and those who benefit most from it (so the corporatocracy, who vote Tory anyway) and ‘savers’.

    And yet, as others have pointed out, any boost that ‘savers’ get here is more than nullified by keeping interest rates at 0.5% until the general election, which Osborne has to do (via Carney) because otherwise all those home-owners who overextended themselves during the present boom would start to default on their mortgages.

    What else? Well, as we know, a large proportion of pensioners vote Tory anyway, but those who don’t (for common decency reasons) are unlikely to switch because of some fiddling with pension annuities, while those less humanist / empathic who have gone over to UKIP aren’t going to have their horror of the modern world (and, in particular, Theresa May’s abject failure to meet her own arbitrary immigration reduction targets) ameliorated by a pension pot manoeuvring. At least, not enough to re-embrace a party they feel has betrayed them.

    I’m sure the polls will bear me out here when I say that, on this showing, the Conservatives still appear to be screwed.

    In other news, BBC goes for initial budget reaction to that leading political heavyweight Nigel Farage – there’s the corporation’s ‘left-wing bias’ again, right there

  18. 18
    Skippy says:

    The cut on Bingo tax is a canny move – not only does it manage to make Osborne et al look like they’re ‘in touch’ with working class women, they also manage to get on the good side of the big gambling companies (all based in Gibraltar) who give generously to Tory MPs and their party – Hurrah!

    Good to see the tax on fixed-odds machines go up, as they target the poorest and most vulnerable, but I suspect Bingo is the much bigger and faster growing market.

  19. 19
    Little Willy says:

  20. 20
    Boris Kardashian says:

    What is ‘bingo’?

  21. 21
    Little Ed says:

    I’m werry happy about my budgwet weply in the Houth today. Ath the Labour Party hath no economwic th-twategy or polithy, I thimply deliwered the politic-th of envy, and a th-twing of thoundbites, which I thort thounded wather good. And did you like my fwinger wagging too?

  22. 22
    was it something I said? says:

    They had (I think) John Mann, Labour MP being interviewed alongside Kenneth Clarke on St Stephen’s Green afterwards.

    The interviewer put it Mann that the economy was improving and was, according to the ONS, on target to break even in five years. And what pre-prepared bollocks did Labour’s talking head come out with?

    That while the economy might be running a balanced budget in five years time this would mean that people would be paying 30% more tax.

    What. The. Fuck.

    If the economy grows (say) 30% then, chances are that people will be earning 30% more money and they’ll be generating (say) 30% more tax. Isn’t that the whole point of the fucking ‘growth’ they’ve been banging on about for the last five years?

    And apparently these figures rely on the arrival of 1,000,000 more immigrants.

    What. The. Actual. Fuck.

    i) since when did immigrants become a problem for the fucking Labour party AND

    ii) if he’s acknowledging that a million extra jobs will be created then what the fuck is stopping the natives from fucking well doing them?

    Labour have gone beyond rigging the figures they have moved to pure absurdist politics. They really should go the whole hog and promise a unicorn for every voter.

  23. 23
    Willy Warmer says:

    Just watching Ed Balls reduce Danny Alexander to a stuttering shambles on Sky News…..great tv.
    A budget for business in the main, as for the rest of us…..Jam Tomorrow as usual.

  24. 24
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Until the Scottish referendum.

  25. 25
    ? says:

    If Osborne can change taxation rules for offshore-based online gambling companies so that they pay tax based upon where the the gambling is taking place rather than where the company is based then why hasn’t he done something similar for all multinational businesses so that they have to pay tax based upon where the service is being bought rather than the country where the multinational say they have completed the sale?

    If he can change the rules for online gamblers then he can change the rules for them the likes of Starbucks, Vodaphone, Facebook and Amazon too. So why hasn’t he?

  26. 26
    Miliband is a car cwath says:

    You thound a little upthet, was it the poor rethponthe by your leader?

  27. 27
    Gerbil 7 says:

    Why not just be more sensible and fair and cut all taxes?

  28. 28
    Norfolk's Finest says:

    To be fair, the ‘Long Term Economic Plan’ is getting damn boring as well, as it seems to be on permanent repeat. As a slogan it’s just as irritating.

  29. 29
    bartfartbastard says:

    Those accused of using a tax avoidance scheme and appealing will have to pay tax up front while they appeal, rather than after. This will bring forward £4bn in receipts.

    Accuse, sentence, then try the suspect.

    Great idea George.

    Can we do it to MPs?

  30. 30
    Mornington Crescent says:

    If my penis was the size of a Big Issue, I’d be happy.

  31. 31
    Michael Foot's donkey jacket says:

    If he carries on like this, he’ll get an even worse GE result than me, FFS!

  32. 32
    Gooey Blob says:

    Wow, down to 44 now. 14 months to go, Labour’s lead is down to low single figures. Ed is in dire trouble, Kinnock and Foot were far better placed.

  33. 33
    labour car crash you say? says:

  34. 34

    I remember watching Newsnight some years back when Teresa May brought up Magna Carta during a discussion about arresting terrorists suspects for much longer without charge. when a bespectacled Ed Milliband was asked about the Magna Carta by the presenter he just rolled up his bespectacled eyes and sneered “Oh! That was when they’ve hung, drawn and quartered people back then” That’ll be worth watching again during the Magna Carta’s centenary!

  35. 35
    was it something I said? says:

    I must admit, if you’d asked me in 2010 if I thought Cameron would get re-elected in 2015 I’d have laughed. But it is actually beginning to look possible.

    Ned Miliband and Ned Balls are total voter repellents.

    I wouldn’t be surprised to see Labour’s lead down to 2% or disappear entirely after Miliband’s dire performance today.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    BBC needed by governments to parrot the bogus terror threats to steal our freedoms and keep the people topped up with royalty puff pieces masquerading as news

  37. 37
    Biggles in the 21st Century says:

    Got tone – Fox Three!

  38. 38

    According to Miliband logic almost every one who is not leeching on the taxpayer is privileged in some way .

  39. 39
    Ed the Eunuch says:

    ” And this time next year, with an
    election a month away, the last
    Budget will promise a stonking tax cut
    to cut the cost of living, and a cut in
    National Insurance to secure people’s

    Very Good!

  40. 40

    What a good move it is to recoup for the taxpayer some of the benefits paid to the idle chav morons who pour millions of pounds into those ingenious fixed odds machines , the idiots will not use them any less,so we may as well get a little bit of our money back.

  41. 41

    Starbucks ,Vodaphone ,etc comply with tax rules by paying elsewhere in the EU, this is kept very quiet because rather than bring it to the attention of the UK electorate Cameron would rather take criticism at home than upset his puppet masters in Brussels.

  42. 42
    We KNOW liblabcon are liars.. we can hope UKIP less so. says:

    Ned Flanders would do better.

  43. 43
    Geordieboy says:

    The trouble with the lefties posting on this blog is they are always negative. The bottle is half empty not half full. If labour had been in power we soups be going cap I hand to the IMF.

  44. 44
    Tom Mein says:

    Vote labour, get IMF

  45. 45
    Del Boy says:

    Osborne has kindly helped out pensioners.

    They can now take out pension Bonds paying a whopping 2.8% .

    Well if the wrinkles are smart with grown up kids they might try this trick.

    Give the kids a private mortgage with a minimum interest rate 5% .

    Osborne won’t get his hand on the money , the wrinkles will be better off as will the kids with cheaper interest and no fancy arrangement fees.

  46. 46
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Who’s the one on the labour benches, third row back, tenth along, purple jacket? Serious hair loss problem.

  47. 47
    Tom Catesby. says:

    They work for nowt!

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Magna Carta was that when the Normans gave other Normans rights on English soil as well as land that they have never given back

  49. 49
    Tom Catesby. says:


  50. 50
    Clarissa says:

    Big late for the two fat ladies though…

  51. 51
    carlo gambino says:

    Can you not see the difference between a three year bond and a twenty-five year mortgage?

    Hint – pensioners tend to be quite OLD.

  52. 52
    Bloke says:

    Fuckme he’s a prize twat. Mind you. so is Windmill Dave. And the CleggHunt chappy.

  53. 53
    Anglo-Saxon says:

    Yeah, too right. Norman bastards.

  54. 54
    Corby says:

    For decades i have watched all of the budget broadcast – not this year as millipede send me to sleep – osborne and alexander have been very skillful i do believe we need a good opposition, and am neither a tory nor libdaem, but we do need someone several leagues higher that milli – i hope labour now hs the sense to replce him well before the next general election.

  55. 55
    Myfanwy says:

    I don’t know why they wheel the Magna Carta and burble over it, the barons just wanted more power for themselves and less for the king, lesser mortals than themselves as far as they were concerned didn’t count.

  56. 56
    Myfanwy says:

    At least they are girls and not young men

  57. 57
    Myfanwy says:

    They do know how to impale themselves they dom;t need you

  58. 58
    Mr Neddy says:

    But it would have been nice if Ed Miliband had actually replied to the budget at all. But his speech was nothing more than old, tired, clichéd class-war, politics of envy bullshit repeated ad nauseum until they lost all their meaning.

    I have never before, in 27 years of listening to budgets, heard such an abysmal, amateurish, hackneyed and utterly irrelevant budget reply in all those years.

  59. 59
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    I see your politics of envy and trump it with the reality of the politics of greed

  60. 60
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Yes just like me and my retarded Decision Makers/Jobcentre advisors which assume people want to be unemployed

  61. 61
    ferdy says:

    Your lack of understanding is matched only by your ignorance.

  62. 62
    ferdy says:

    Pure blind panic, with not a brain cell between them.

  63. 63
    Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:

    Next stop PM.

  64. 64
    Viscount Anthony Wedgewood Benn says:


    politics of envy wins every time

  65. 65
    ferdy says:

    We’re just drones of the state to the Tories. And Labour.

  66. 66
    Bog standard lefty says:

    Hey, it’s just immigration – we’ve had immigration always

  67. 67
    ... and so say all of us says:

    .. and in 27 years of being told how, you still cannot learn to spell ad nauseAAAm correctly.

  68. 68
    ... and so say all of us says:

    Typical Welsh twit by the look of it.

  69. 69
    Desperately Seeking Expat says:

    I have to watch Sky on satellite and just as Milipede stood up to reply a humungous thunderstorm came by and completely blocked the signal. By the time it was over and transmission resumed, so was Mili’s speech. Did I miss anything important?

  70. 70
    Desperately Seeking Expat says:

    Did I miss Milipede offering a multicorn for every voter?

  71. 71
    ... and so say all of us says:

    Carlo, you are really so much thicker in the brain cell department than we all suspected.

    If the oldies die, the kids inherit the house and the mortgage is cancelled – so they get to keep the house and the money they would have been paying over to keep mum in comfort.. If the kids tie themselves to a ginormous 25 year mortgage (which effectively more than trebles the initial cost of the house) then the debt remains the responsibility of the kids – and the only beneficiaries are the crooked compound interest charging bankers.


  72. 72
    ... and so say all of us says:

    Rest assured there is a Hippo waiting in the wings!

  73. 73
    Its time to move forward, into the future says:

    To be fair just verbalising a stream of popular slogans got Barracka Barney elected.

  74. 74
    Cast list says:

    Reseter and money launderer, mortgage fraudster, p***o advocate and apologist,pension thief and dodgy cleaning expenses, serial tax avoider.

  75. 75
    Barraka Barney says:

    Nah guys the politics of nice sounding soundbites wins everytime .

  76. 76
    Grammar School Boy says:

    I like to travel first class too but I have to pay my own fares!

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    “A Budget of the, by the, for the privileged, Miliband said”
    An outrage easily corrected by government of the people, by the people, for the people, Ed? If only the political classes were no too duplicitous to allow it. Instead they devote themselves to promoting demockracy, as ‘the real thing’.

    “support the Magna Carta”
    Better yet modify Asimov’s three laws of robotics to codify a Constitution for humanity, and mollify the forces acting against its survival.

  78. 78

    The magna Carta also was meant to protect from things like European arrest warrants.

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Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”

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