March 18th, 2014

LISTEN: Stanley Johnson on Boris for Leader

You know how it is when your dad lets the cat out of the bag and gives away the whole plan for you to become Tory leader:

“100% not. As a matter of fact this is a purely hypothetical exercise because, as you know, the Conservatives firmly expect to win an overall majority at the next election. We firmly expect the leader to be in place then. It’s a question of just getting some appropriate system. It doesn’t seem to me to be reasonable in this day and age, you know, you have got plenty of candidates out there. Why should the candidates only be Members of Parliament? I’m really suggesting that there are other people who have been elected, there have for example been MEPs, you know these are a reasonable bunch of people – men and women. All I’m saying is there is a case for looking at the rules. You’ve got MEPs, you’ve got councillors, you’ve got other elected mayors, you’ve, by the way, got a group of Lords, elected Lords, they have an election. I am saying, surely the moment has come to have another look at the rules?”

Who could he have possibly had in mind…


  1. 1
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Boss Hogg!

  2. 2
    Owen Jones says:

    I want to take all your money then I will decide who to give it to

  3. 3
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    There’s nothing worse than feeling a bit of splash back on the toilet.
    Especially if it came from the cubicle next to you.

  4. 4
    P l e b says:

    Boris is:

    A liar
    A philanderer
    A buffoon

    Why on earth would we want him to be Prime Minister

  5. 5
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    I got elected three times on that platform. :)

  6. 6
    Charmed I'm Sure says:

    Boris replacing Cameron, just swapping one inbred fucking mong for another, mind you at least Boris never had a fucking spacca kid with a inbred horse faced wonky wombed whore. Or did he?

  7. 7
    P l e b says:

    Very true, but why do we put up with this?

    There is an election next year – are we going to sleepwalk into another disaster? Probably. And don’t say ‘vote UKIP’ because Farage will be lucky to have five MPs.

  8. 8
    The Public says:

    Who is this twat and why should anyone care about what he has to say?

  9. 9
    Why would you go public with such a huge winning? Idiot!!! says:

    The identity of a car mechanic who won £107.9m on the Euromillions lottery has been revealed as Neil Trotter, 41, of Coulsdon, south London.

    Mr Trotter, who runs a repair garage in Mitcham called Chameleon Coachworks, scooped the jackpot on Friday.

    He was so confident he would win he told staff at his father’s office on Friday lunchtime, “this time tomorrow” he would be a multi-millionaire.

    His lucky ticket made him the National Lottery’s fourth biggest winner.

    He is the first Euromillions jackpot winner from the UK this year.

  10. 10
    Nick Clegg says:

    I agree with the Prime Minister.

  11. 11
    Toffee nosed upper class cunts says:

    He’s rich, white, upper class and therefore superior, what what.

  12. 12
    Daily H of P Bender Mail (male) says:

    Would you invite him in for a drink and a chat? Unfortunately there are a few in parliament who are even worse and what’s more are not only tolerated but accepted. The days of moral rectitude and good character (if they ever existed) are no longer a prerequisite for honourable employment.


    Which people are referred to by this insightful contribution last night? We need to be told, our men are not safe in this den of iniquity for which we pay excessively for homos to excite themselves.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    “You know how it is when your dad lets the cat out of the bag”
    Is it anything like Brussels declaring plebiscites illegal? Or slightly more scientific than that?
    Schrödinger’s EU: Where definitively determining if democracy is alive or dead, necessitates angle-grinding open welded-shut referendum ballot boxes.

  14. 14
    Gordon says:

    He’s talking about Dan Hannan for leader :D

  15. 15
    Wendi Deng says:

    Oh Tony! I so lonely and missing you. When you will come back to little Wendi?

  16. 16

    Five UKIP MPs might be enough to put some backbone into the tory ‘eurosceptics’ .

  17. 17
    wendie says:

    He have strong sexie leg but all so big belly pang.

  18. 18
    Everyone Else says:

    Stanley Johnson – the only person who is a bigger tw@t than Boris.

  19. 19

    Why are the world press even giving air time to that war mongering nutter Putin ?
    If they blanked his address to the Russian parliament then it would have a moch better effect

  20. 20
    Max Clifford says:

  21. 21
    Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell says:
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  22. 22
    was it something I said? says:

    On the choice of Boris or Beaker it’s no contest.

    Boris by a landslide.

    People like Boris.

  23. 23
    Fishy says:

    Now he can start his new company, Trotter’s Independent Trading Co.

  24. 24

    He would have been better advised to quietly disappear and remain anonymous, at least until he can get his security measures in place .

  25. 25
    Mitch says:

    Apart from anything else, he’s completely wrong. The leader has to be an M.P. otherwise who’s going to do PMQ’s if they get elected?

    And we thought Benn was an old buffoon.

  26. 26
    was it something I said? says:

    Fucking muppet.

    A gift like that. 108m quid and total anonymity. Nobody trying to get to know you just because you’re rich. Nobody talking pictures of you every time you leave the house.

    Just wants his face in the paper as if he’d done something clever.

    What a fucking idiot.

  27. 27
    Cathy Ashton says:

    No-one voted for me, fokker

  28. 28
    wen says:

    Something lost in the fog here, Beaker is one D. Alexander if you know your cartoon history, google it.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    £107.9m might just buy him a 3-bed semi in London.

  30. 30
    Cathy Ashton says:

    See my boobies boys??

  31. 31

    Bertie you have far too much time on your hands !!

  32. 32
    Ah! wonder says:

    How did he pronounce that?

  33. 33
    Village Idiot says:

    …..Its a start!…..But,hopefully the scales will fall from our myopic politicians eyes and they will govern for Britain and not await instructions from Herr Merkel!

    Putin talking and defending his people,…..refreshing!

  34. 34

    Which war has he mongered ,it’s not a war it’s a walkover !

  35. 35
    wen says:

    We want more.

  36. 36
    Fishy says:

    ‘A proposal to end the criminal offence of failing to buy a TV licence is being considered for inclusion in a bill before Parliament.

    It comes after Tory MP Andrew Bridgen’s suggestion to make non-payment a civil matter gained the support of 143 MPs.

    The BBC has said it fears a change may lead to more people failing to pay.’

    Has Bridgen got this right? This will do nothing to curtail the Capita thugs but more worryingly as a civil matter the courts will require less burden of proof to find against someone who, for e.g., uses iplayer for their viewing. An of course the civil debt will then be enforced by bailiffs and adverse credit scores.

    Bridgen’s got this completely wrong. It would have been better to have chosen one of the following;

    a) Make the BBC advertise

    b) Establish the BBC as a subscription service

    c) Sell the BBC off

    d) Close the BBC down

  37. 37
    Ah! Banksy says:


  38. 38
    Why would you go public with such a huge winning? Idiot!!! says:

    + trillion

  39. 39
    Why would you go public with such a huge winning? Idiot!!! says:

    + googolplex

  40. 40
    was it something I said? says:

    I’m sure some mate of Boris in a safe seat could be persuaded to step aside.

    Remember it was Boris who, against all the odds, saw off Livingston – twice and finally turned the tide of Labour victories.

    We know he can’t keep his dick in his pants. We know he’s a tongue-tied buffoon. But people like him. He is, incredibly, a winner.

    Dave, by contrast, had only the Maximum Imbecile to beat. The most hated and repellent PM in history and still managed to ship about 5 million votes to Clegg. When he didn’t even have to agree to a leadership debate. And, if he did feel he had to, should have insisted on keeping it between himself and Brown.

    What did he think was going to happen?

    Blair flat refused to have a debate with Major. Because he knew that, however small, there was a risk he might fuck up. A risk he didn’t need to take.

  41. 41
    Why would you go public with such a huge winning? Idiot!!! says:

    He’s certainly a plonker.

  42. 42
    Dirk Diggler says:

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  43. 43
    P l e b says:

    Only inside the M25.

  44. 44
    Dirk Diggler says:

    As you can see, I was circumcised.

  45. 45
    Mitch says:

    If he was running a repair garage in London he was already a millionaire?

  46. 46
    P l e b says:

    Another 21st century obscenity. This money won’t just change his life, it’ll ruin it.

    Give it to the foodbanks, Mr Trotter.

  47. 47
    Regulation, regulation, regulation says:

    “Boris is:

    A liar
    A philanderer
    A buffoon

    Why on earth would we want him to be Prime Minister”

    Surely that would make him the ideal candidate?

  48. 48
    P l e b says:

    I’ll happily pay £12.12 per month to watch advert-free television. As for their alleged biased news reporting, I’m intelligent enough to draw my own conclusions.

    But above all else, the BBC don’t employ Simon Cowell or C-unt and Dick.

  49. 49
    was it something I said? says:

    Possibly condescending but in general I agree.

    One reason I don’t play the lottery is the shitty odds.

    But another reason is that actually I’ve got no need for 100 million quid. I’m perfectly happy with the life I have. 100m quid would just mean I fly at the front of the plane. But when I get there I’d still just be another gimp at the airport. Yeah, sure you can stay at nice 5* hotels. But what do you do for a ‘treat’ if your life is already First Class flights, 5* hotels and 3 Michelin Star meals?

    Same as all these rich idle c*unts. End up snorting c*o*ke off a bog seat.

    Be careful what you wish for.

  50. 50
    was it something I said? says:

    Never did Berlusconi any harm.

  51. 51
    Just askin says:

    I think we will find out in the next year or so what motivated him to try and change the law.

  52. 52
    was it something I said? says:

    That’s great. You pay your £12.12 and I’ll pay £0.00. I didn’t ask them to pump it into my house.

  53. 53
    If only says:

    There’s more adverts on the BBC than on Sky or ITV, the only difference is they are advertising BBC rubbish.

  54. 54
    A White Guy says:

    So am I but I still don’t see why anyone should care about what he has to say.

  55. 55
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    I have just paid my licence fee almost worth it to hear Tony Benn’s diaries today on Radio 4 at 9.45. Right at the end Benn reported a conversation between him and Jim Callaghan when they saw Blair at a Downing Street Garden party. Callaghan remarked that he was taller than he thought and Benn replied ” have you seen his shoe heels ?”.

  56. 56
    Skeleton Bob says:

    Hey why not make me Prime Minister? It is easy. I mean all you have to do is nod your head whenever your masters in Brussels tell you what to do.

  57. 57

    Tell me Dirk, how do you make those solid black shapes?

  58. 58

    With £100 000.000 you don’t stay in hotels, you stay on your pals yachts !

  59. 59
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    And Ed Milliband is rich, white, Marxist aristocracy and therefore superior. I can see why the millions of labour voting plebs can connect with him.

  60. 60
    broderick crawford says:

    has bojo actually fathered a sprog /sprogs ??

    Thought he used prophylactics .

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Much better for BoJo NOT to do PMQs – can you imagine the carnage?! A DPM would be sufficient to entertain the backbenchers and inflame the opposition. And I’m sure that Boris would be interested in being answerable to parliament – after all, he was born to rule.

  62. 62
    hacked orf with mot of them says:

    Or Phony Tony

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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