March 18th, 2014

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

What about releasing the report into her dodgy expenses claims on Budget Day? The Standards and Privileges Committee has taken a very long time to reprimand Miller over those £90,000 second home expenses claims that landed her with a potential six figure profit. A source familiar with the investigation suggests that the delay has been due to gathering more evidence, but why are they taking such a long time to publish a decision? Could it be that Tories on the Committee are looking for a good time to bury bad news? A cynic might think Budget Day might be a good time to get it out…

See also: Maria Miller Makes Six Figure Profit on Second Home £90,000 Question For Maria Miller 


  1. 1
    Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell says:

    Not with yours on the end of a long stick.


    • 14
      Anonymous says:

      Disgraceful. She should be sacked and prosecuted.

      Clearly that nice but dimwitted Mr Cameron will do the right thing. He’s a man of integrity.

      It’s not like he’s filled the cabinet with his friends and they’ve increased the national debt by an horrendous level because of their absolute incompetence. Oh, wait …


      • 21
        Bernard Halfwit-Howe says:

        Of course she should be prosecuted. I will put a team of fifty detectives onto it and get back to you in about 4 years.


        • 22
          T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

          Call for a Hutton Enquiry. That’ll throw them off the scent.


        • 27
          Twampersand mk III says:

          She has squatted down, with her pants around her ankles and her skirts hitched up, straining and grunting, and shat in the faces of the people she is sworn to serve.

          We need to start hanging a few of these crooks. Scratch that. We need to start hanging a lot of them, then continue hanging the rest.


      • 31
        Nothing Better To Do says:

        As long as you have a section of the population that grants themselves powers over everybody else you will have lies, theft, corruption and every other type of criminality. It’s human nature. Why do we expect that politicians are better than us?
        The solution is not more prosecutions (fun though they would be) it is to eliminate the source of the problem. The existence of government itself.


        • 58
          Be and q says:

          Yes we are ready with plenty of the New improved
          Super White Wash which is fully guaranteed now to cover
          any unsightly ingrained stain & odour that in the past has
          been very difficult to completely cover with one coat no matter
          how thick it was laid on along with getting ride of the foul corrupted
          smells that linger around for a very time.

          We await this anticipated very large order & will of course
          invoice the Public Purse, who else could afford such largess…..

          PLEASE NOTE We only deliver in large 10 galleon size drums full
          of our New Improved Super White wash as fully recommended by
          L*ord Hut*ton & friends


      • 36
        Brittania says:

        ….Could it be considered ,”A Black Mark” against “The Born To Rule” Etonian?
        Perhaps the school needs closer inspection to see where the pupils are taught their uncaring,unempathetic,heartless,cruel,evil attitude toward “The Plebs”,particularly the infirm and disabled!
        …..Also,competence,which suffered through their arrogance,believing they could do it!
        …..Also,does Eton knock the patriotism out of them?…Where is the Love for this country,or has the EU so twisted once brilliant minds?….I despair!!!!!!


        • 49
          A peasant just passing through says:

          May be the place was affected / infected by the Shirley Williams anti-education virus.


      • 63
        Bestial says:

        That nice Mr Cameron’s far too busy safeguarding all those Russian bank accounts. Must make sure all those city banker pals are taken care of. They’re voters too you know.


      • 86
        broderick crawford says:

        You bury the bad news by getting Gorgeous Giorgio to say tomorrow ;

        ” … and furthermore I am pleased to announce that the unpaidtax, interest and accumulated penalties announced today bt HMRC in the matter if Ms Milker and her oversight on her hone purchase of 1996 will resukt in the deficit being reduced by some 15 billion thus placing us some substantial way towards achieving our planned deficit reduction . Ms ” Milker ” ( Freudian slip) is to be made a life peer “


      • 89
        Vlad the Loudhailer says:

        Why hasn’t she been charged by the Police for fraud. The CPS website states:

        The Fraud Act 2006
        Fraud by abuse of position (Section 4)
        The defendant:

        occupies a position in which he was expected to safeguard, or not to act against, the financial interests of another person
        abused that position
        intending by that abuse to make a gain/cause a loss
        The abuse may consist of an omission rather than an act.

        Like the other two Section 1 offences, Section 4 is entirely offender focused. It is complete once the Defendant carries out the act that is the abuse of his position. It is immaterial whether or not he is successful in his enterprise and whether or not any gain or loss is actually made.

        As with all the Section 1 offences, though there need be no consequences to the offending, the existence and extent of those consequences will be very material to sentence, compensation and confiscation. It will still therefore be necessary to gather that evidence. In many instances it is the fact of the gain or loss that will prove the Defendant’s dishonesty beyond reasonable doubt.


    • 43
      Simples says:

      Just claim the “Margaret Moran” defence


    • 71
      Westminster Voice says:

      A profit’s not a profit unless it is tax free.


  2. 2
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aha, sounds like she’s on the run, ducking for cover on Budget day.

    The trouble is that EVERY MP will prefer to slip this out on the sly given many of them are serial house flippers.


  3. 3
    Welshracer says:

    She could donate the large 6 figure profit to a local food bank.

    Problem solved.


    • 44
      Twampersand mk III says:

      Why would taking stolen money from a thieving parasite and giving it to other (mostly) scroungers fix the problem?

      She should be fined 10 times the amount stolen, imprisoned for 2 years and permanently banned from public office.


      • 52
        A peasant just passing through says:

        .. and fed on just bread and water, just like in the good old days. Regrettably Australia no longer takes our criminals (or at least, not knowingly!).


      • 57
        Dangerous Brian says:

        Yes, and then shot, hung, drawn, blah blah…… ad infinitum.
        Lets just kick the b*ggers out.
        Vote Independent, vote UKIP, vote Monster Raving, just don’t vote for Liblabcon common purpose scum.


        • 64
          Twampersand mk III says:

          Yeah, great idea. Because UKIP are not expenses troughing bell-ends, eh?

          The whole frigging thing it utterly rotten to the core. Changing the actors will not re-write the script.

          I refuse to add a semblance of propriety to the filthy scheme by participating in an utter sham of democracy.


  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Just make sure she is either deselected or unelected in 2015. Disgusting woman.


  5. 5
    Bosun Higgs says:

    No wonder our rulers conspire to push up house prices to ever-less-affordable levels. It’s the rentier class looking after itself.


    • 34
      was it something I said? says:

      I have to confess I sat through the housing boom and bust of the early 1990s and thought that surely nobody would make the same stupid fucking mistake again.

      Imagine, then, my astonishment when Brown engineered low interest rates, hired one million people with borrowed money who, unsurprisingly and unimaginatively used their new found wealth to bid up the pr*i*ce of available housing even further.

      Imagine my further astonishment as interest rates were engineered lower and lower as different (lower) proxies were used to justify ever lower rates.

      Imagine my astonishment as UK banks would send me a bank statement telling me that since my house had appreciated by (say) 100K since last year then I could simply release the equity and buy myself a new c*ar, fore*ign hol*id*y etc etc.

      Imagine my astonishment that the Labour government did nothing to quell this obviously unsustainable madness.

      Imagine how I felt when the expenses scandal finally broke and we discovered the reason the fuckers allowed the whole thing to go to shit. Because they were building up huge property portfolios renovating and flipping properties with taxpayers ‘expense’ money.

      Insider dealing.

      The c*unts.


      • 50
        I'm Eurosceptic for a reason says:

        It’s something you said and you said it well.


      • 68
        Dave - the pervert's best friend says:

        Thank God the current government haven’t gone down a similar route.


        • 72
          was it something I said? says:

          It really is almost as if the entire economy is ‘supported’ by housing debt.

          It’s so utterly fucking depressing.

          Mail reader and Grauniadista alike all fucking delighted at the thought that, if they were buying today they couldn’t actually afford their house. All delighted at the thought of they or, better still, their kids spending 25 years paying for the most over-pr*ice*d, under-sized property on the planet. Meanwhile third-worlders, fresh off the plane are given free houses in the middle of the capital city. And free private school education too. I shit you not.

          Google ‘Christ’s Hospital Horsham’ and learn which London Borough the economic migrants of Ghana target so they can send their kids to private school free.


  6. 6
    Poor Tom says:

    Ditch the bitch


  7. 7
    jamesyboy says:

    You know what it would not even get a couple of minutes on a non news day – they are all getting away with theft on an industrial scale and the public don’t care anymore. Apathy is their best friend.


  8. 8
    Nightmare says:

    Conning the taxpayer. Same as Creasy


  9. 9
    George Osborne says:

    So that’s:

    Load of flannel about the economy – check
    Jibe at Ballsie – check
    Emotive statement about tax avoidance – check
    Look after tax-avoiding chums – check
    Crackdown on something or other – check
    Tax subsidy for a random sector that might cough up some donations – check
    Host of complex, irritating, fiddly amendments to tax law – check
    Promise tax cuts next year – check
    Stealthy tax increases this year – check

    Floreat Etona!


  10. 10
    I Could Just Strangle Her says:

    The cheeky bitch.


  11. 12
    Executive Summary says:

    Vote UKIP


  12. 16
    A typical voter (Well in Gideons mind) says:

    I am so glad that my 40% contribution supports fellow Conservatives such as this Lady.

    PS – Looking forward to paying more tomorrow *punches air*


  13. 17
    Garfield says:

    Watch it Geedo she may threaten you with leveson (what has happened to that clown)


  14. 26
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    I know that she is a woman but I would prefer that she was not working for us.

    Whilst I am at it may I once again raise the question of Hazel Blears.

    Could you run her explanation again please because first time of reading it appeared to be complete gibberish blaming some unnamed civil servants who we have also been paying for.


  15. 28
    Tosser Dave says:

    She helped me get the bumsex legislation passed — so a few fraudulent expense claims for her are fully justified


  16. 29
    Garfield says:

    “Islamic teacher who sexually abused girl, 11, as he taught her the Koran is spared jail – because his WIFE doesn’t speak English”

    It is really time for there to be a complete shake up of the Judicial system. Cannot help thinking of the US system, the judges are voted in by the public so their performance is crucial to them getting a wage packet.


    • 41
      A peasant just passing through says:

      So put them on the next plane out. The Stans are that way >>>>>>>>>>>


      • 70
        Drake's drum says:

        How the fuck did they get here in the first place?


        • 83
          Ali Whackbar says:

          What’s the problem? He’s only following the example of the prophet Mohammed who married his wife Aisha when she was six and had sex with her when she was nine. That’s what all Muslims are supposed to do.


  17. 30
    I'm Eurosceptic for a reason says:

    Europhile politicians are very keen to hand over the reigns of power to Brussels but not their own earnings and status.
    I propose every law or treaty giving the EU more power should result in a 20k cut in MPs pay and expenses backdated to when they signed the Maastricht treaty.


  18. 32
    C O (Ξ7c) says:

    This could almost be a BBC job advertisement:

    ‘But beware; this brand of freedom is not for everyone’

    Nice one from RT : BBC wouldn’t bother with either brand or freedom.


  19. 46
    Dirty muzee pervert escapes prison because his fugly wife can't speak english says:

    Britain RIP. This country has been handed over to the lefties and their beloved muzees.

    Islamic teacher who sexually abused girl, 11, as he taught her the Koran spared jail because his wife doesn’t speak English

    Suleman Maknojioa, 40, squeezed girl’s chest under her prayer scarf
    Attacks took place as he gave lessons in Arabic to girl and her brothers
    Father of six convicted of five counts of sexual activity with a child
    He was handed a suspended sentence after judge told his family rely on him


    • 62
      A peasant just passing through says:

      Perhaps it would be easier to just deport this fucking stupid judge then?


    • 67
      The BBC are cunts says:

      Jimmy Sovile could have played the pislam card if he’s d still been alive.


    • 85
      Ali Barber says:

      So, if he offends again, he’s given another suspended sentence because his wife doesn’t speak English and his family depend in him. Bingo! The ultimate get-out excuse.

      I don’t see the Muslim community offering to look after his wife and family. Perhaps they’re too busy following the example of the prophet, PBUH. (Police Be Upon Him).


  20. 47
    Mikis says:

    Guido, you’re making a fuss over what might be nothing.

    Anybody who bought a London property in 1996 will make a profit when they sell. The question is whether or not the 90k of claims (you do not mention over what period) are legitimate.


    • 61
      Twampersand mk III says:

      Why would the Standards and Privileges Committee reprimand the thieving cow if her claims were ‘legitimate’?


    • 65
      So how much does an MP earn?depends on the housing market.Seriously? says:

      The state is providing accommodation for MPs use whilst they are in office.
      Fair enough if their constituency is miles away I suppose.
      To expect to walk away with a huge profit from that ‘free’ accommodation is taking the piss.
      The fact it may be ‘within the rules’ is even worse as far as I’m concerned.


  21. 56
    Shock - Openly Tory comic gets award says:

    Veteran comedian Ken Dodd has been crowned a Legend of Comedy at this year’s Leicester Comedy Festival. The 86-year-old beat competition from Jasper Carrott, Lenny Henry, Nicholas Parsons, Jennifer Saunders and Victoria Wood to take the title. Dodd said it was “amazing, wonderful and plumptious” to be voted the winner from a list of such “fabulous funny people and good friends”. The award was voted for by festival-goers and Leicester Mercury readers.

    A staunch Conservative who believes in self-reliance and free enterprise, he introduced Mrs Thatcher at the Wembley election rally


  22. 60
    Property_Snakes_n_Ladders says:

    Maybe C4’s Sarah Beaney could do a programme on it.


  23. 66
    Mr_Handy_Mar says:

    Someone just called me a wee s****.
    Thought shat contained oonly four letters.


  24. 69
    Ed Miliband of Primrose Hill mansion tax payer but offset by being a socialist millionaire. says:

    Our proposed mansion tax will fund a life of milk and honey.


  25. 73
    Revd. Phoney (£rd Fucking Way) B£iar, Sanctimonious Git and £iar, wiv stupid grin says:


    Just popped by to say I’m v. relaxed about MP’s welf, – got plenty meself – mind you – I’m glad I got those shredders ready for when I left!

    Must dash!!


  26. 74
    Denis the Expert on Greed says:


  27. 77
    Maria Miller says:

    Everything about me spells mediocrity but when it comes to troughing I’m up there with the best of them.


  28. 80

    What does it matter, it isn’t is if she’s a UKIP councillor from some obscure parish in the Cotswalds is it ?


  29. 81
    Lord Swanbourne says:

    Honesty is a weakness.

    Interviewer: What do you consider to be your main weakness?
    Politician: Honesty.
    Interviewer: I don’t consider honesty to be a weakness.
    Politician: I don’t give shit what you think.


  30. 87
    Salem's Witch says:

    How Do You Solve a
    Problem Like Maria?

    Drown the witch.


  31. 90
    stanley grad says:

    hail freedonia


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