March 18th, 2014

“He Pushed Me into a Private Room and Tried to Do Stuff to Me”

Preston Crown Court today heard from the sixth alleged Nigel Evans sex offence victim. The witness told how after a night at parliament’s Strangers bar, Evans invited him to have a look at his new kitchen. When they arrived, the witness claimed Evans put his hands “all over” him and “tried to kiss” him. Evans than allegedly touched his crotch as said “you’re gorgeous”. The court heard the witness sent an email to a friend explaining how “he (Evans) pushed me into a private room & tried to do stuff to me. Eek”. The trial continues…


  1. 1
    Dirk Diggler says:

    Max ?


    • 18
      Mitch says:

      Evans should have been sent away to calm down and sober up years ago. This reflects badly on the Conservative party.


      • 25
        Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

        Can’t they cure homosexuality these days? American Fundamentalist Christian organisations can sort it by a combination of prayer and hair shirts in a monastic retreat where there are no tempting pleasures like young women, only fellow m….

        oh hang on.


      • 59
        Dave Likes a Big One Up the Arse says:

        Quite the opposite gay issues are what the Conservative Party is all about. We will not rest to arse sex and cock worshiping is mainstream. Not long now just relax as Fankie says!


    • 28
      Lord McTwat says:


  2. 2
    the road to serfdom says:

    isn’t that just petting? if he didn’t like it he didn’t have to do it.


    • 3
      Kim Jong-un says:

      Hmm, why didn’t some spineless fucker just punch him?


      • 4
        Hammond says:


        + 1000


      • 6
        the road to serfdom says:

        because he didn’t do anything wrong? just say no thanks and leave it at that


        • 8
          Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

          If I touched a young woman’s crutch at work without her permission I’d lose my job in an eyeblink. I could also be up for sexual assault. Is the law different for wooly woofters?


          • Simon Huges says:

            Yes you dick they are a protected species.


          • the road to serfdom says:

            should be the same for all. you can have a grope until they stop you. if you carry on then it’s assault.

            if you’re drunk you might want telling a few times – but that’s the booze for you – nowt wrong with that


          • Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

            Quite. Above the law and beneath contempt. Thank fuck this species does not procreate.


          • Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

            So being drunk is a defence against allegations of r­ape? Or indeed any other crime.

            Mmmm… in a Gentleman’s convenience on the edge of Hampstead Heath perhaps but not in civilised society.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            And to think of all of the MP’s (many in the know of many other dirty deeds) who applauded him … Parliament is truly the sunken into the gutters.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            With the elm House and dolphin square cover up’s – surely there has to have been someone royally connected involved?


          • Tina Thatcher says:

            There is one set of rules for heterosexual males and another set of rules for parliamentary bum boys.

            Now do you understand?


        • 34
          Right Full Rudder says:

          I’d fucking punch him.


  3. 5
    the road to serfdom says:

    answer me this. half of the country tend to the right. half tend to the left.

    why not split the country in 2 and everybody can live in the bit they are most comfortable with. we are almost split as it is. countryside and town. why not just have a different government for each?


    • 12
      Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

      Why not go easy on the ale at lunchtime?


      • 19
        the road to serfdom says:

        chance would be a fine thing. I’ve got to drive out of this labour voting shit-hole where I work back to lovely tory land where I live. just saying I wouldn’t mind a border post


    • 20
      Go away Gayers says:

      It isn’t 50:50 — it’s more like 90:10 — but the gayers keep shouting and screaming to promote their disgusting practices and lifestyles.

      They should get back in the closet and shut up.


    • 41
      Right Full Rudder says:

      I fully agree. Draw a line from the top of East Anglia to the Severn and let the lefties have everything north and west of it. Southern England will soon be rivalling Switzerland in wealth. We may need a big wall to keep all the refugees from the People’s Democratic Republic of Labouria out though.


  4. 7
    Me says:

    Putting “Eek!” in the email seems to imply that he just found it a bit creepy rather than anything stronger.


    • 50
      do you like my smeg says:

      It sounds like the sort of language someone quite young would use. i guess it would not be the time to speculate on the ages of those giving evidence against evans.


  5. 9
    Bumsex Dave says:

    What’s the problem? It’s entirely normal behaviour in our ConLib paradise


  6. 10
    the road to serfdom says:

    couple of funny stories i found when bored at work


  7. 13
    Ed Balls says:

    Vote Labour for a 90p tax rate for everyone except Labour MPs!


  8. 16
    verticawater says:

    He’s got touch of ‘Klingon’ about him. Or should that be cling on!


  9. 23
    Dot Cottons fag says:

    Muzz*es go on the rampage in France, again.


    • 30
      Hamspam Chowder says:

      It’s the religion of Piss


    • 39
      Right Full Rudder says:

      Next time machine gun the lot of them and put their heads on spikes. See what they do then.


    • 47

      We would never have tolerated that sort of behaviour in Chile – in the good old days. People would have ‘disappeared’ for sure………..mucho pueblos! We never had many Muslims…….but if we had and they behaved like that……………you just wouldn’t see them again! But that’s Chile and this is Europe!


  10. 24
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:


    • 26
      Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

      You mean he’ll send all the buggers to France?


      • 29
        Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

        It means that all the Victor Meldrew types who paid their subscriptions to Ukip in outrage at the fact that the Government voted for same sex marriage have been duped.


        • 36
          Right Full Rudder says:

          Why? If you’d paid attention at the time, you’d have heard Farage say if the law was passed, UKIP wouldn’t repeal it.


          • Anonymous says:

            Exactly. It’s a trivial irrelevance, it was a complete waste of parliamentary time by Cameron, there is certainly no reason to waste any more time on it.


  11. 27
    Centre Parting says:

    Should the “Do” be in the headline?


  12. 35
    Right Full Rudder says:

    There are way too many gays in politics. We often hear about under-represented minorities, well gays are over-represented by dozens, and I’ve yet to come across one who’s done any good for the country. Peter Mandelson. Chris Smith. Ch*ka *m*nna. K*n Cl*rk*. Fuck off with all of them.


  13. 37
    Hardacnut says:

    As all MPs know, Black Rod should not move a motion.


  14. 38
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    Evans clearly need medical help.

    He is from Swansea and men from there are always very strange.


  15. 40
    Note the last sentence says:

    Immigrant communities should be educated on how to dispose of waste, not demonised, opposition politicans are warning after shocking images reveal the scale of the problem.

    Rubbish piled next to flats with rats coming and going from the mountain of waste in Mollison Way, Edgware, have disgusted neighbours, with readers writing to the Observer claiming that the council’s vision for a ‘Cleaner, Safer and Fairer’ Harrow are not being realised.

    Barry Kendler, a Labour candidate for Edgware in May’s upcoming council elections, said: “The problem is we have had a lot of rhetoric, but not enough action from Susan Hall.

    “In some areas, Harrow has got cleaner, but in others like Edgware where you have a big immigrant community, there is never going to be any progress until you engage with them.”

    The Labour candidate did not approve of the Tory council leader’s remarks when she told a national newspaper in December, on the eve on a loosening of immigration restrictions from Romania and Bulgaria: “Councils simply can’t cope with an influx of immigrants which will strain our housing lists and distort school class sizes.”

    Labour leader Councillor David Perry accused Ms Hall of generating ‘a mini frenzy’ over the issue at the time.

    Mr Kendler, whose grandparents were both Romanian, said: “When you come to a new culture, it is difficult no matter who you are. Many of the Romanians I talk to complain that the council do not collect their bins, but that is often because they contaminate them so they cannot be collected”


    • 44
      Right Full Rudder says:

      Third world immigrants and socialists. It’s like a bomb made from two binary liquids.


  16. 42
    Poker Face says:

    Does anyone yet know what implement was used to inflict that damage on his horrid forrid?


  17. 45

    Do me a favour someone must’ve kicked this Evans geez in the old goolies or given him a dusting over?


  18. 46
    Derrin Brown full time wanker&perv for the media leeches. says:

    Evans is an arse! There is pattern of behaviour here that needs to be addressed. He needs a psychiatrist or psychologist to undo this pattern of behaviour.


    • 52
      Rasputin says:

      What he needs is castrating. A vile specimen and an indication of what a sewer this country has become.


      • 56
        Jack Ketch says:

        No, lock him up in a prison with a lot of big, strapping violent young men with tattoos. That’ll teach him!


        • 60
          Anonymous says:

          That would be heaven for him. It would be heaven for me. I’m off tugging myself to repetitive strain injuries. I am enjoying Guido’s daily homo-erotic porn. I can’t wait until the next story.


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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