March 17th, 2014

Flappy Dave

Downing Street have worked hard to brush away the tennis and wine loving PM’s ‘chillaxing’ image, especially after a No. 10 aide once revealed Dave spent “a crazy, scary amount of time playing Fruit Ninja on his iPad”. They won’t be pleased to hear then that the PM has discovered another addictive iPhone game. Travelling back from an tech event in Germany recently, digital Dave learnt a few things on the plane from British entrepreneur Ben Medlock, who invented the SwiftKey app: “I introduced him to cult hit Flappy Bird. I’m proud to report he didn’t beat my score.” Practice makes perfect…


  1. 1
    Dave Cameron says:

    Afternoon all, George tells me that you would all like to pay more tax.

    Right Ho.


    • 4
      Dr Frankenfreud says:

      George is certifiably insane.


      • 8
        Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Peedos, Green Nazis & other Wasters says:

        Wait till Labour get in and start playing Flappy Economy, all your savings pensions and assets will be wiped out.


        • 39
          Anonymous says:

          How do you say “Cameron is a useless cnut who hates the UK” in 25 different languages at your local job centre ?


        • 48
          Toxic Condems for ...(you name it) says:

          Wait till ConDem coalition gets back in and starts playing Flappy Economy again, all your savings, pensions and assets will be wiped out

          Already borrowed more in four years than Labour did in 13.

          Real fast learners from Labour, and just coasting so far.


        • 54
          broderick crawford says:

          Flappy birds ?

          Wot like Nadine and Sally ??


    • 6
      Dierdre Moist (miss) says:

      what do I have to do to make my flaps more appealing ?


    • 7
      Sally's flaps says:

      We already pay 52 per cent with NI, then another 20 vat, fuck off into labour if you think that’s not enough.


      • 19
        Llareggub says:

        Osborne hasn’t a clue, not a solitary clue, about the peasantry! Although he clearly has a high opinion of himself, and how desperately we all want to be like him. Does he think we all stand around in pubs boasting of our tax rates, or something?

        I find myself wondering if this is the effect of having the country run by a coterie of wealthy people who have never worked outside the political bubble. Osborne can hand over 40 percent of his income, and still has lots of money left.

        Osborne has, I think, just sunk any prospect of succeeding Dave. Stupid, stupid, stupid.


        • 33
          DtP says:

          And the guy who was his best man and works for Lazzards curiously made shed loads of cash out of the post office privatisation and it tuens out that they flogged the postcode file which every large org uses to validate their centroids – no, nothing to see, move along….


        • 40
          Anonymous says:

          Osborne agrees, its a costa wallpaper crisis…


  2. 2
    Peter Grimes says:

    So with Samcam Dave now has two flappy birds!


  3. 3
    Wanker says:

    Dave’s face is doing an impression of the last arse that sat on it.


  4. 5
    Sally's flaps says:

    On my territory there, hope.


  5. 9
    Doozy Dave Camoron says:

    Flappy. Flippy. Floppy. House!!!!


  6. 10
    Taxed out says:

    George needs to ease up this year, FFS, we have had six years penury, give the peasants a break. Fuck the city for once.


    • 11
      Taxed out says:

      And stop smirking like some toff.


    • 22
      Llareggub says:

      Buy gold with your money, and bury it in the garden. Tell nobody. Whoever is in power next election, it’ll be a thieving, rapacious bastard who just can’t wait to shove his hands in your pockets.

      Cash in your pension too. Cause they’ll have that off you also.


  7. 12
    Foodie says:

    Clarissa Dickson Wright RIP. She ‘moved into television after her career as a barrister was cut short by alcoholism’.


    • 30
      Ah! why? says:

      Parliament would have been the best choice


    • 35
      G. Reaper says:

      Thought it about time that a toff Tory type was pulled in, after last weeks exploits with the Left.


      • 46
        RightwinggitRedux says:

        I remember her talking about some w** that owned a big shop, saying after what he and his brother did in some crisis or another, he should never get a passport.

        Something to do with the department her dad worked in…


  8. 13
    How do you like them Apps? says:

    If he put his fucking iphone down Dave would be aware of another phenomena sweeping the nation called ‘Angry Voter’


    • 24
      Llareggub says:

      Nigel Farage is a happy man again.

      Good God, who needs Comical Eddie? The Conservatives are quite capable of getting themselves voted out all by themselves. They’ll deserve it too.


      • 41
        Anonymous says:

        As Napoleon said, Farage should not disturb Cast Iron or Milliband, they are UKIP’s two best recruiting sergeants.

        Keep up the good work lads.


        • 47
          RightwinggitRedux says:

          “When your enemy is destroying himself, get out of the way”

          -The Art of War,

          Sun Tzu


  9. 14
    basil brushed it... says:

    andrew marr is starting to resemble peter sellers more each week … hes taken to turning his left hand down when it gimps upwards … his sunday morning show is car crash bbc tv


    • 20
      Alex McSalmond says:

      Yes, when you ask a question, stop interrupting like a twat and actually listen to the answer.


    • 31
      Ah! why? says:

      I thought it was a stroke.


    • 42
      Anonymous says:

      Andrew Marr has become a joke.

      Salmond slapped him down on Sunday.

      And love Salmond, or loathe him, he is one of the few politicians who will stand up to bigoted interviewers like Marr and say to their face they are pedelling a BBC agenda.

      It was great to see Marr flapping around when challanged on his perosnal opinion which he was parading as news and fact.

      The BBC don’t like it upem do they !!


  10. 16
    Dave Cameron says:

    With time on my hands, why shouldn’t I chillax…

    UK Foreign policy decided in Washington

    UK Domestic Policy decided in Brussels

    UK Social Policy decided in Brighton

    UK Financial Policy decided in Canary Wharf

    What’s not to like?


  11. 17
    Taxed out says:

    Out the Eu…save £20bn
    Out of foreign aid… Save £11bn
    Out of toff tax reliefs…£6bn.


    • 29
      We're all in it together says:

      Cut housing benefits lining the pockets of wealthy property owners and holding up house and rent prices.

      People owning only their own home won’t lose out if property prices fall. If they bought to speculate: tough shit.

      Any figures on total properties owned by MPs? start at two each plus any rental properties and holiday homes.


      • 45
        Anonymous says:

        No, no and no.

        Housing benefits only pay the lower quartile average rent in an area.

        It is immigration of 600,000 pa legally and god knows how many illegally, that is the major driver of house prices and the housing shortage.

        Cut the number of immigrants and housing demand goes down.

        There are somthing like 30k to 60k houses being built each year.

        Meanwhile there are 600,000 lgeal immigrants coming to the UK each year, and last year 800,000 babies were born, the highest birth rate in the EU.

        You don’t need to have gone to Eton, St Pauls or Oxbridge, or to be Dr Watson or Miss Marple to work out what the fcukin problem is.



    • 32
      M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Tax relief isn’t expenditure anymore than the spare room subsidy is a tax.


  12. 21
    Fruit Ninja says:

    Feel the wrath of my nunchuks, you twat!


  13. 23
    Witness for the Prosecution says:

    It looked like a pėnis, only smaller.


  14. 25
    Vlad to be of assistance says:

    Hague, Mrs, …keep talking to your TV cos the head ain’t listnin.

    Game over.


  15. 49
    Nemesis says:

    Why is he showing off that finger? Just where has he been putting it?


  16. 52
    local wind says:

    apparently hague has threatened to drop abbott and vaz on putin


  17. 53
    Top Bog - The BBC is a left wing Charity. says:



  18. 55
    Not a machine says:

    been having a think


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