March 15th, 2014

Saturday Seven Up

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You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

135 Comments

  1. 1
    ned ludd says:

    First

    Like

    • 3
      Ellie-Mae (9) says:

      That’s about 2 hours in front of guido then…and tomorrow, it’s the “Join the retards on farcebook”

      Like

      • 5
        Skeleton bob says:

        Malaysian plane systems deliberately disabled. Maybe those two with false passports were just faking it that they were asylum seekers. Probably someone in cabin crew involved as well.

        Like

        • 12
          A Hunch says:

          I have still a hunch the solution to this mystery lies in Burrma

          Like

          • M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

            It had enough fuel to fly another seven hours, which would get it to Iran.

            Like

          • Ah! feel says:

            I’m for Isle 0f Man

            Like

          • Myfanwy says:

            Of course, it’s a tax haven!!

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            I’m betting the old Croydon aerodrome.

            Like

          • M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

            Anyway, great sighs of relief at Boeing.

            Like

          • Baboon's arse says:

            No no, it was dematerialized by aliens and its molecules reconstituted as a replica of John Prescott.

            Like

          • Into the Valley says:

            Blowing Wind out of his arse would tell you the truth – it was the corrupt police and their bum buddies, the lawyers and judges, who arranged it to divert attention from him losing his 4000’th application to extend his garden shed into three different time zones in his quest to stop the 4b2’s and the lizard people taking over the world, all from his chair in the snug at the Twat and Firkin.

            Thicker gauge foil hats anyone?

            Like

        • 30
          SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

          More nonsensical conspiracy theories, stay tuned!

          Like

          • Twampersand mk III says:

            Mmmm, let’s have a think what could have happened.

            An airliner from a mooslim country, packed with mooslims, with pilots called Akhmed and Abdul, described by the imam from the local mosque as ‘good, humble mooslims’, has disappeared after losing radio contact with ATC because all of the ‘planes tracking devices and comms were deliberately disabled. Its radar signature disappeared around the same time.

            Quite obviously, the jooooz and Izrail are 100% responsible and this is just part of their viscious, continuing campaign against the lovely mooslims

            Like

        • 63
          They were abducted by aliens says:

          There’s another two with stolen Austrian Passports as well from reports I’ve seen. When authorities checked one of these stated that his passport had been stolen in Thailand a couple of years ago and reported to Austrian Embassy at time. I don’t know the exact details of the other using another stolen passport

          Like

    • 22
      Dave Cameron says:

      Almost there,

      UK Foreign Policy decided in Washington
      UK Domestic Policy decided in Brussels
      UK Financial Policy decided in Canary Wharf

      Plenty of time to Chillax

      Pip Pip

      Like

      • 51
        Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Peedos, Green Nazis & other Wasters says:

        Start getting your assets out of the UK. When Labour get in they will steal everything. Sell now to avoid this massive theft.

        Like

      • 53
        Dave - the pervert's friend says:

        UK Social Policy decided in Brighton.

        Anyone for bumsex?

        Like

      • 115
        SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

        Financial policies are best left to Canary Wharf , unlike the morons in Whitehall they understand money, especially in the event of a Labour Government

        Like

    • 39
      Anonymous says:

      Are there any Boeing 777s on eBay?

      Like

    • 56
      Myfanwy says:

      Who cares!!!
      That Grove thing seems to be running on now http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/mar/14/gove-attacks-preposterous-number-old-etonians-cameron-cabinet. It’s taken the lad to realise it but but late than never. I am am not sure what he is angling for, blocking your mate Boris or trying to promote Gideon, maybe he is trying to to be a king maker should Dynamite Dave not get enough MPs to get a majority at the GE or worse lose.

      Like

  2. 2
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    I wonder how long it will take before Owen Jones starts smoking a pipe?

    Like

  3. 6
    Owen Jones says:

    “Britain does not lack anger”… Guido Fawkes

    You’re not wrong there,Guido. Everyone I know socially or at The Guy News Room vehemently wants this bastard Tory coalition out of office.

    Like

  4. 7
    Anonymous says:

    BBC@Labour Newsnight Duncan Weldon deleted tweet. :oops:

    http://postimg.org/image/8otmwet4j/

    Like

  5. 8
    Lou Scannon says:

    I can confirm that I am NOT the holder of the £108 million Euromillions UK winning ticket. I did get £2-80 however. Milky bars are on me!

    Like

  6. 11
    albacore says:

    Osborne bouncing around on that barrel
    Bids fair to make you rend your apparel
    Every time you open this sodding blog
    Have mercy, Fawkes and flush him down the bog

    Like

  7. 13
    Dennis Skinner says:

    Gove attacks number of Old Etonians in Cameron Cabinet

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/mar/14/gove-attacks-preposterous-number-old-etonians-cameron-cabinet

    Nice one Mickey !

    Like

    • 14
      Owen Jones says:

      Not just too many old Etonians in cabinet, but too many Tories too!

      Like

      • 16
        The tit wrecking our country from no. 10 says:

        Tories ? Where ? I thought I’d eliminated them all.

        Like

      • 24
        albacore says:

        Finding a Tory in Dave’s cabinet
        Must be the funniest idea yet
        That old ideal of a British nation
        Never figured in their education

        Like

        • 65
          Myfanwy says:

          Oh yes it did, but it consisted of Eton College and the playing fields, the rest were the also rans, peasants and riff-raff

          Like

      • 25
        Not Owen Jones says:

        And Gays, don’t forget the Gays

        Like

        • 45
          Gays are Genetic Mutants says:

          How could we forget all the exhibitionist gays that endlessly promote their perversions and lifestyle?

          Like

          • Dave - the pervert's friend says:

            Don’t forget all those still in the closet. It’s the quiet ones you have to watch.

            Like

          • Myfanwy says:

            That is very true old lad, very true! I seems if they have become part of the establishment extra mural activities are covered up as long as they are part of the establishment or they are not too thrusting (metaphorically speaking) and open about ther homo proclivities

            Like

    • 19
      SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

      How terrible people in government who have had a decent education ,the only thing is it was wasted on most of ‘em.

      Like

      • 70
        Myfanwy says:

        It is not so much just the education but it is also the networks that are developed, hence the number of Old Etonians and Oxbridge graduates in all the main parties

        Like

  8. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Wow!

    Like

  9. 21
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Morning! How we all doing??

    Like

  10. 26
    Your humble and obedient servant, Vladimir. says:

    Thank you for your firm advice, Willybum and Dave. I do now see the error of my ways.
    Since you LibLabConners have made such a success of fucking up the U.K., it’s great that you are showing such leadership in the international arena

    Like

    • 67
      Dave speaks to the nation on the wireless says:

      ” Her Britannic Majesty’s Government yesterday handed the Russian Government a note stating that if Russian Forces were not withdrawn from the Crimea by 11 am (Moscow Time)today,Saturday 15 March 2014 that “serious consequences” would ensue between Great Britain and the Russian Federation. I have to tell you now that no such assurances have been received and that “serious consequences” will now ensue !”

      Like

  11. 34
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    We need more people like this chap in this great country of ours !

    Council tax protester, 72, jailed for 28 days http://dailym.ai/1fy052m

    I will short list him for an OBE next!

    Like

    • 37
      Michael Gove says:

      Preposterous !

      Shame on them jailing a 72 year old, and then let real criminals walk away scott free. This is the quality of our”Old Etonian” judiciary.

      Like

      • 41
        Chris Huhne & Denis McShane says:

        Rubbish – you do the crime you do the time.

        Well except in our cases

        Like

        • 118
          Mad Mags Moran, the original Looney Tune, says:

          How soon they forget…eh, th-th-thee, th-th-thee, that’s all, folks!

          Like

      • 73
        Edward Elgar says:

        ….I thought it was a terrible shame when the then ,supposed torys’,destroyed one of the most beautiful aircraft to be built,namely, “Nimrod”; several were destroyed in the name of cost cutting and shambolic contracts!….

        Like

        • 132
          Jack Ketch says:

          22 years development, 3.8 BILLION and no planes, A 1950s Comet airframe and a mission that has reduced by 90% since the end of the cold war. Lions led by Hunts.

          Like

    • 38
      BBC says:

      Thanks for the hat tip, we will send our boys round next month to check his Telly license.

      Like

  12. 36
    Dave Cameron says:

    I awoke this morning thinking I was Max Clifford.

    Then I realised that Clegg is not that small.

    Like

  13. 42
    The Owl Of The Remove says:

    Michael Gove: ‘There are too many Tories in Cameron’s inner circle’

    Like

  14. 43
    aurora borealis says:

    http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/465000/Chaotic-Co-operative-is-facing-ruin-without-a-shake-up-wanrs-former-City-Minister

    co-op bank facing ruin after massive failure of governance.

    so is militwit still planning to reform the banking system on the co-op model if he gets into no10??!

    Like

  15. 46
    Prime Minister David "Moneys No Object" Cameron,the ignorant prick. says:

    Nurses. Avoid a disappointing 0 to 1% pay rise in future by calling your hospitals “banks” and your patients “hedge funds”.

    Like

    • 49
      Dave,Giddy,Gorgon & Bollux says:

      You mean like “Quantitative Easing” instead of “Printing Money”

      Like

    • 94
      Keffyeh-clad ground crew says:

      Elementary stuff. We call our t errorists ‘freedom fighters’. The UN open a special dept just for us, and that great institution the Co-op acts as the official bank for ‘humanitarian aid’ convoys of j1hadists and assorted useful idiots.

      Like

    • 117
      SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

      The Hedge funds use their own money.

      Like

  16. 47
    Ed Miliband says:

    Let me get this right. 13 years after 9-11 you can hijack a packed plane in mid-air and it will take the authorities a week to work it out?

    Even the Conservative led coalition would have done better than that !…..Oh wait a minute.

    Like

  17. 58
    Sally Bercow says:

    Number of Old Etonians around Cameron not a reflection of the country, it’s a reflection of the Conservative Party.

    Like

    • 62
      The tit wrecking our country from no. 10 says:

      Etonians will go the wall for their kicks.

      Like

    • 77
      Village Idiot says:

      …How can a party that no longer exists’, have a reflection?

      Like

      • 84
        Little Lord Fondlebum of Boy says:

        Quite !

        Like

      • 91
        Gangly bits says:

        Liebour and the Conservative parties only exists as names, they were taken over years ago by rich kids from privately educated schools who compete in political parties with each other in trying to kill the country whilst their friends asset strip it,

        Like

  18. 61
    Realpolitik says:

    Killing Russ!ans soon to be decriminalized :-)

    Like

  19. 64
    Two Eds are infinitely worse than one says:

    If we are to have to bear a liebour five year stretch,can we ask that for the sake of national sanity that Balls is replaced with Badger Darling.

    Like

  20. 66
    C O (Ξ7) says:

    Looks like Gazprom chairman got the nod on what was going to happen in U.

    Zubkov sold all his shares in the company shortly before the Russ!an stock market tanked:

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-03-14/gazprom-chairman-sold-all-his-shares-just-russia-invaded-crimea

    Like

    • 98
      vlads a gas says:

      perhaps he uses the same booking agency that organised the ‘not russian soldiers’
      hanging around eastern crimea … no couldn’t be must be pure coincidence

      Like

  21. 69
    Nick Clegg says:

    Poor middle classes: Osborne to reject calls for tax cuts in Budget

    Its all over now for the Conservative led coalition in the 2015 General Election then.

    Like

    • 89
      Real Conservatives vote UKIP says:

      Clegg and his LimpDumbs want to tax us all to oblivion in the name of the false god Climate Change. Parting will be such sweet joy.

      
      

      Nick, it’s over for you.

      Like

  22. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Happy Pie day, especially to the Labour party who must be happy to celebrate this wonderful event.

    Like

  23. 72
    TIME FOR YOUR TABLETS DAVE says:

    Nice to see the adverts begging for donations on tv this morning from Great Ormond Street childrens hospital
    Secure in the knowledge that our tax money collected to pay for such great institutions , is being given away in foreign aid and to the EU by that dopey twat Cameron

    Like

    • 76
      Two Eds are infinitely worse than one says:

      The constant charity ads, ever longer in duration, are a national obscenity.

      Like

      • 120
        Save the sick little puppies says:

        For your donation of just £20 per month, our executives will be able to travel first class, stay in 5 star accommodation and have access to the best hookers.

        For an extra £10 per month, we will send you a worthless generic photo of a pony, polar bear or kiddie.

        So please give generously. Every penny counts…towards our bulging Swiss bank accounts.

        Like

    • 80
      and another thing says:

      When you’re in government you have to please and accommodate a lot of people and views. Unfortunately if you’re indigineous, law abiding and pay all your dues and taxes you won’t be one of them.

      Like

    • 82
      Village Idiot says:

      ..The very fact that people need prompting to give to charity,shows how much this wretched,cruel country has changed !…Even if you give to charity,you cannot be 100% sure the money goes where you thought!….I expect the charity bosses have relatives working in the advertising business?….Same as EU supporters,if you get my drift???

      Like

      • 86
        TIME FOR YOUR TABLETS DAVE says:

        Not forgetting the 120 million wasted on the already over funded “Sweaty Socks ”
        No win bid for independence

        They would stand a much better chance giving the English a vote on fucking them off !

        Like

      • 88
        Oxfam never says:

        You can be 100% sure that somewhere or other there will be an overpaid charity management team living very comfortably indeed peddling left-wing crap while they exploit the tax system and the good intentions of the unpaid people who do most of the work.

        Like

      • 104
        It begins at home says:

        It’s simple they’ve turned charities into big tax free businesses, if they advertise on tv they have too much spare cash, if they gang around you in supermarkets trying to embarrass you into giving, when the have all the nutriments or uniforms and tableau just in the entrance they have too much money, and when they send companies out with all the bits saying they are a charity and when you look at the small print on the the bumpf saying they are a company,they have too much money, give to the local scouts and local charities and your money has a chance of staying local, it’s at a point now where most of the town centre shops are run by charites

        Like

  24. 74
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Influential party donor makes huge losses, biggest in its history. CEO resigns, fed up wirh political appointees. Company may close divisions with many hob losses. The two Eds call for inquiries; however this is the Co Op…

    Like

    • 102
      Stella Creasy never says:

      The Co-op and its tame ‘political party’ are a corrupting influence in politics. The Co-op Party should be banned and every MP who hass been taking money from this dodgy enterprise should be barred from public office office.

      Like

  25. 75
    • 121
      Stella McEwan says:

      What about beer and ciggie banks. There are hundreds of thousands out there struggling to get tanked up each week. How are they meant to survive?

      Like

  26. 81
    oscar bader says:

    so you’re telling me we can tell who fired what missile when and at who but we can’t find a plane the size of a primary school with 200 plus passengers on it .. sounds more like ryanair than terrorists to me

    Like

  27. 83
    vlad to be of assistance says:

    Well Englanders, clearly you are not “ard enough”. Why you even let yourself be represented by a bunch of soft gets. Where is the steel of Winston and Mrs T?

    As you will be paying inheritance tax for owning even the smallest hutch you might wish to consider my way.

    Don’t get me started on the gay boys.

    Like

    • 90
      vlads a gas says:

      you never saw the size of that handbag Vlad … all very well running your mouth off now shes gone

      Like

    • 95
      Call the AA then says:

      Leave us alone, still busy drinking the cheapo supermarket booze and watching the rubbish they call entertainment on telly

      Like

  28. 85
    LibDem Accurate Graphics says:

    I think it is time we saw a graph of the weekly viewing figures.

    Like

  29. 105
    Religion of Piss (Afganirqipaki Department) says:

    We’ll start the bidding at £119.95 any offers?

    http://tinyurl.com/nc99uub

    Like

  30. 107
    Religion of Piss (Afganirqipaкi Department of Finance) says:

    We’ll start the bidding at £119.95 any offers?

    http://tinyurl.com/nc99uub

    Like

  31. 108
    non taxable pikey says:

    Russian Central Bank already used more than half of its foreign Currency to back the Rouble and more than 100 Billion foreign investments left Russia last week.

    Like

  32. 109
    The Union of Fortune Tellers says:

    At our latest meeting we all gazed into our balls and concluded that the next socialist hero to kick the bucket will be Lard Prescott. He will pass to the other side after an overdose of Cream Horns and Creme De Menthe frappe.

    Like

    • 119
      Here Comes Fatty, He's a Sack of Shit... says:

      I’ll have you know I’m as hale and hearty as any man of my age and weight can be, and this is not even a matter of controversy as some would like to make it into and anyway it’s none of your bloody business how much I shove into my piehole as it’s my piehole and not yours and … (*unhh*) Quick, call an ambulance, it’s those bloody chest pains again…

      Like

  33. 123
    Tell A Viv says:

    So the Malaysian plane was deliberately diverted after its systems were disabled. And a couple of passengers were Iranian about whom there’s been speculation.

    I’m not one for conspiracy theories normally but even the most objective observer would have to concede this has the stench of I*raeli handiwork. Sorry but they have the ability and also the most to gain.

    Like

    • 124
      Anonymous says:

      It was full of Chinese, think Xinjiang.

      Like

      • 130
        Anonymous says:

        Bit of a technological leap from a mob of them stabbing random people at a Chinese train station to being able to hide a plane full of people from a dozen governments and intelligence agencies.

        Like

    • 125
      SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

      Just WHAT has Israel to gain by endangering 260 people , putting it’s own citizens in danger when travelling , and bringing more enmity down on it’s own head?
      It would make no sense.

      Like

      • 134
        The Inside Job Theory says:

        None of this makes sense. Doesn’t mean that something very odd has been going on.

        My suspicion is that one of the pilots was in the habit of chowing down and then sleeping when they had left Malaysian air traffic control (‘Good Night’) and may at that point have been drugged, leaving the other pilot to fly the plane, unhindered, to wherever he wanted. If all the passengers were also served food and drink which was laced with a sedative, or worse, control of the plane would have been fairly easy for quite a small group to achieve.

        Incidentally, people assume that the only reason to hijack a plane is to facilitate a political act of terror, or take hostages, but it could just as well be part of the means whereby someone very rich (or some people) can escape from somewhere and literally disappear ‘off the radar’.

        Like

    • 126
      Twampersand mk III says:

      It’s the Joooooooooooooos!!!!!!!

      I’ll give you a little clue as to what has happened to it: the pilots are called Akhmed and Abdul.

      Like


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