March 14th, 2014

Expenses Piggies Told to Pay Back Dodgy Claims

IPSA have forced a trough-full of greedy MPs to repay £40,000 worth of expenses for claims that were in breach of the rules. New figures for October and November last year show 50 MPs were made to pay back cash. Some of the weirder repayments include £1,300 from Jack Straw for a year-long sublet of his constituency office for the Blackburn Labour Party and £1,250 from Vince Cable for subletting his office. Eric Joyce tried to get away with claiming hundreds of pounds for hotels which were not allowed under the IPSA scheme. Cheapskate Jamie Reed was told nine of his £3 claims for petrol would not be granted. Several MPs blew their expenses budget allowance and had to pay back the overspend, including £4,010 from Mike Crockart, £4,551 from Daniel Kawczynski and £933 from Debbie Abrahams. Still, who can blame a greedy expenses trougher for trying…


  1. 1
    Betty Badger says:

    Hang ‘em

  2. 2
    Chris Moyle's Motors says:

    I am selling Tax efficient vehicles if anyone wants one.

  3. 3
    Ed Miliband says:

    It’s the cost of lying crisis.

  4. 4
    Ron Barras says:

    More scummers on the take.

    If they can’t control their own expenses, how can they vote on the budgets for the NHS, our schools and the army?

  5. 5
    Graham says:


  6. 6
    That won't put lead in your tank says:

    £3 pound claims for petrol ? That’s the sort of thing you’d expect from a dodgy solicitor with her finger in the pie.

  7. 7
    Graham says:

    Publish a full list of the thieving bastards

  8. 8
    House of Ill Repute says:

    Lessons will be learnt.

  9. 9
    Tim Yeo says:

    I tried that once – and I almost got away with it.

  10. 10
    Ed Balls says:

    Anyone claim for a Remembrance Sunday wreath?

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Chukka Umbrella says:

    Mother’s Day coming up.
    What can I get her? She doesn’t want another Ipad, She has three already.

  13. 13
    In Memory Of Tony Benn says:

    Socialism works.

  14. 14
    Chris Huhne says:

    Don’t bother Chukka, she has served her purpose. Probably trash in any case.

  15. 15
    B!lly Blowjob is the Greatest Tosswank Ever says:

    Fuck off B1lly.

  16. 16
    Owen Jones says:

    Winter Paralympics update:

    The leprosy ice hockey match had to be abandoned due to a face-off in the corner

  17. 17
    Baboon's arse says:

    I disag

  18. 18
    LB says:

    Nadhim Zahawi

    4,875.87 on Electricity

    969.70 on Water.

    Most people running Skunk farms bypass the electricity meter.

  19. 19
    Baboon's arse says:

    You’ve gotta agree wiv ‘is comment, though, or what?

  20. 20
    @ranter says:



  21. 21
    Old Grumpy says:

    I wonder how that sort of thing sits with Local LibDim Party expenses!

    Our local LibDims have their Leader’s house registered as their Local Party Office……….. I wonder how much he is charging them for that………..

    Gosport has its own political dramas (and now UKIPPERS as well)

  22. 22
    Baboon's arse says:

    Let us take a step back and move forward.

  23. 23
    P Ervert says:

    Jane Hill has a lovely rack.

  24. 24
    The Squeezed Fiddle says:

    Cash no cheques please

  25. 25
    Shouty* says:

    If Osborne had been any good as a chancellor then he would have invested in the first place, instead he has doubled the debt, flogged off lots of assets & services cheap and hammered the income of the unemployed, ill, disabled and under-employed and, in addition, has missed all of his self imposed targets.

    What a disaster Osborne and the Coalition have been to our nation.

  26. 26
    C.O.Jones says:

    Wow, does he have an aluminium smelter in his basement? Not very green at all!

  27. 27
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Wasn’t he brilliant on QT?
    Worth every penny of his salary, exes and the blood money he sucks out of the NHS.
    A really positive advert for the benefits of immigration.

  28. 28
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    They just rubber stamp EU diktats, the voting is make work to enable the generation of expenses.

  29. 29
    Larry of Arabia says:

    Was he the gobby raghead talking bollocks on QT last night?

  30. 30
    C.O.Jones says:

    Here lies the root of the problem. Stupidity.

  31. 31
    Gideon says:

    Maybe if your are managing growth, but as Hermann has ordered me to manage decline then I am doing the right thing.

    The EU cannot get Greece, Portugal etc back up, so if we bring everything else down, we will have equilibrium once more.

    Viva the €

  32. 32
    Ed Balls says:

    Ahem, maybe I can help?

  33. 33
    Max Cameron says:

    How can I satisfy a man with this?

  34. 34

    The whole idea of expenses should end they are paid quite enough as it is, they do not need researchers , secretaries or assistants .
    Are they too cretinous to open an Email , answer a phone , write a letter, or book a rail ticket themselves ? If the answer to any of the above is yes, then they are stupidly incompetent and therefore unfit to hold any public office, elected or otherwise.

  35. 35
    Gordon Brown says:

    I can whistle while I’m humming.

    Well until Nursey cleans me up that is.

  36. 36
    Cressida's Dick says:

    So much worse than McMentalcase & the socialist mafia eh?

  37. 37
    News just in (Well ages ago really) says:

    Rubber stamp no longer needed.

  38. 38
    Tony Smooth says:

    Hi.. Just a quick note to Future PM ‘Eddie’ the Miliman. Great.

    Some ideas you might want to have ready to go for legislation.

    1. Amnesty for any crime committed longer than 10 years ago. Italy has this. Very progressive.
    2. No serving politician can be prosecuted. Another Italian one. Goes back to the Caesars. .. I’d add “No one who knows a serving politician’ too.
    3. have a target list of countries to bomb. I’d stick Iran at the top. Then work through the Is and Js – Ivory Coast – iceland -Jamaica- Java – Jordan and so on.
    4. Any prime minister automatically becomes tax exempt. trust me on this E, once you’ve amassed a fortune on the diner circuit you won’t want the hassle of hiding it all. Much easier to pass that law.
    5. free housing for immigrants. No waiting list. trust me on this one too. I discovered that instead of trying to change the minds of those that don’t agree with you, its far easier to import millions who will automatically agree with you if you bribe them.

    Any more ideas I’ll send them over, Ok?


  39. 39
    Tony Blair Envoy of Piss says:

    6. Any Judge led enquiry has to be ‘Hutton’ style.

  40. 40
    Margaret Moron says:

    I’m starting to feel a lot better after my long rest. When can I start claiming again?

  41. 41
    jgm2 says:

    It started in Kirkcaldy.

  42. 42
    Ah! not Max's ? says:

    Penis cut off in attack in Middlesbrough

    Dicks are looking into it.

  43. 43
    Cressida's Dick says:

    New rule which comes in effect immeditately.

    ‘Any member of parliament found to be claiming expenses to which they aren’t entitled will be prosecuted for theft without exception’.

    It isn’t the amount, it’s the principle.

    What about it IPSA? That should sort the thieving bastards out.

  44. 44
    Ah! too late says:

    You’ve been snookered.

  45. 45
    Jack Ketch says:

    It was for the Zippo.

  46. 46
    Cressida's Dick says:

    ‘9 of his £3 claims for petrol’

    What car does he drive, a fucking Qualcast Ghia?


  47. 47
    Too fast? says:

    Excellent evidence today at Dicky Clifford’s trial.

  48. 48
    jgm2 says:

    5,000 quid on electricity? Is the entire street hooked up to his fucking meter or something?

    Is his idea of turning down the heating to simply open the fucking window?

  49. 49
    Jack 'once you go black' Dromey says:

    I’ve had my finger in the PIE. So has Harriet.

    Love a bit of smut, me.

  50. 50
    aurora borealis says:

    Sorry O/T I know but have just read that russelbrand is writing a book on revolution and how to improve society. That’s the only thing I’ve heard from or about russellbrand that has ever made me +++++Laugh+++++

  51. 51
    Jack Ketch says:

    How on earth do you expect an ex-spad who is used to paying a fiver to rent-boys in a public toilet in Bayswater, to get used to the costs involved in a fact-finding trip to Copacobana beach and importing a strapping young Brazilian “researcher” or two when he becomes an MP?

  52. 52
    aurora borealis says:

    +1000 and then some

  53. 53
    Mealy-mouthed, tax-payer fed, lying POS says:

    We need to draw a line under this, so that we can address the real issues that are currently facing the nation.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Flashman and flasher man.

  55. 55
    Ah! it's says:

    Small beer.

  56. 56
    Twampersand mk III says:

    Hope that twat Pistorious doesn’t go to prison. Can’t stand another murdering jailbird as President in 30 years time.

  57. 57
    Ah! and says:

    a small penis has to be measured against something.

    what experience had the witness had?

  58. 58
    Abridge too far says:

    You could have tried to cushion the blow.

  59. 59
    Cameron the Liar says:

    I can whistle while I’m bumming.

  60. 60
    Ah! and says:

    just for the court record…was it flaccid or erect?

  61. 61
    LB says:

    He hasn’t doubled the debt.

    He has doubled the borrowing.

    There is 7,100 bn of missing pension debts from the books.

  62. 62
    Dave PM says:

    Patrick told me to bury the dead kid from his pictures…

  63. 63
    Every penny co(u)nts says:

    No we don’t. We need to prosecute all these thieving bastards for fraudulent activity in a public office.

    .. and preferably before the end of the month. Never a plod around when you need one is there?

  64. 64
    Every penny co(u)nts says:

    If you can get that done then we will undertake to consider a slight forgiveness for your Stockwell cockup.

  65. 65
    Jap says:

    Yes, I’ve thought that for a while. Similarly, that Scottish one, Carol, who does the weather. Knocking on a bit, but tremendous boobs all the same

  66. 66
  67. 67
    Tracey Reckless says:

    The 3 Medway M.P.’s demand more & more expenses because we need and deserve them. We only live 35 miles from London but need second homes cos we can’t travel to London everyday like thousands of real workers do.

  68. 68
    thostids says:

    Easy. They deduct their expenses before carving up the crumbs for the Country.

  69. 69

    Gotta keep on troughing.

  70. 70
    Hugh Janus says:

    And make sure Maria Miller is included. 15 months to ‘investigate’ and still no decision – except to kick it into the long grass and hope no one notices…

  71. 71
    Anon says:

    Pity she’s a carpet muncher then.

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Greedy f*ckers.

  73. 73
    geordieboy says:

    You really need to stop reading the Guardian and listening to the BBC, but it appears that you are already brainwashed.Send a man in a white coat for this chap please.

  74. 74
    geordieboy says:

    Or blow the cushion.

  75. 75
    geordieboy says:

    And still Jacqui Smith gets away with £110k also gets paid by the BBC just cant stop dipping the taxpayers pockets.

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