March 13th, 2014

WATCH: John Bishop Narrates The Adventures of HS2

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John Bishop lets us know why it’s time to shunt HS2 up the Junction. Find out the facts behind the film here.


141 Comments

  1. 1
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Like

    • 12
      Gary Herry says:

      Why are they spending billions on a train line that will not carry freight and only stop at city centres hundreds of miles apart?

      Somebody should tell those twats in government that 99% of the population outside of London travel on things called ROADS.

      Like

      • 30
        was it something I said? says:

        Coaches are good. Too much cheaper than a new train set and they use the existing roads.

        If they want to decrease travel times between major cities then just increase the speed limit on motorways to 120mph. Or 150mph. Problem solved.

        Like

        • 94
          Be careful what you wish for says:

          Would cut the population size down to a reasonable figure in about five minutes.

          Like

          • I'm paid by the EU and CCHQ to smear UKIP says:

            It’s an interesting story, but I can’t see the obvious UKIP smear in this ?

            Like

      • 63
        Anonymous says:

        Agenda 21.

        Like

    • 14
      Anonymous says:

      Vanity project for vain politicians who think this is what running the country is all about. WE HAVE OTHER PRIORITES! If you want to get to/from London 20 minutes earlier set your alarm for 20 minutes earlier and save us all some money.

      Like

      • 35
        coeur_de_lion says:

        I don’t care what you loons think, I want it.

        The same arguments could have been made about building the M1, or the channel tunnel. In isolation, the project looks like folly, but who can put a price on the contribution to the economy that the motorway network that followed the M1 provided?

        Don’t care how many country huntsmen it upsets, progress is coming. John Bishop and his facts can suck my sweaty cock x

        Like

        • 37
          Paniagua V5.1 says:

          You are Spoonface and I claim my 5 free Gordon Brown T shirts

          Like

        • 48
          Village Idiot says:

          ….We can,t seem to run the rail system we have,so,before HS2,at least build and maintain the present rail set up to a good standard!
          ..Look at what happened to the canal network,or,all the wonderful,quintessentialy British branch lines that were built with blood,sweat and lives,only to be shut under Dr Beeching! This is a white elephant too far under present,economic conditions,when there are problems looking after our own elderly and disabled….So,at least for now,it is a No…No…No! Build a Severn Barrage,and,more tidal schemes to provide guaranteed power if the money is burning a hole in Dave,s pocket?

          Like

          • Paniagua V5.1 says:

            The only danger with cancelling it is Cast Iron Dave sponsors more Inter Stellar Call Centres with the cash.

            Like

        • 54
          Hugh Janus says:

          Guess it’s not passing within thirty miles of your back garden, then? Chod!

          Like

        • 61
          was it something I said? says:

          Oh yeah. Channel tunnel. Raging success. Still being subsidised 25 years (is it?) after it was built.

          Then, not content with subsidising a tunnel we subsidise more high speed links to the tunnel that will have to be subsidised forever.

          I like train travel as much as the next guy but it really is 18th century way of getting about. It makes as much sense as building big canals all over the place for the 21st century. Actually, for freight, canals would probably make more sense and require less maintenance.

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            What is needed is a plan. Will we remove all cars, or will we go electric?

            I suggest as a first step we go electric. So what is the problem? They do not have the range.

            Will the population be all living in city centres. No. At some point a city becomes so large it can not be escaped easily in a day. People will grow up never seeing open space. So why have a train line that goes to city centres. That is like terminating a bypass in the town square. Or maybe having your flood drain connected to the narrowest part of a river.

            OK this government is to thick not see anything wrong with HS2, but what if they actually built a train network that ended at major motorway junctions.

            Make the train carry cars. Obviously it would be an electric train and electric cars. So why not charge the batteries as the train zooms along.

            We could have an integrated network of travel designed for real people not politicians going home on Thursday.

            Like

        • 125
          Anonymous says:

          The road network is exactly that; it goes from where you are to where you want to go. Railways go between railway stations. The faster the train, the further away those stations are from where you actually want to be.

          We need to challenge politicians who offer us railways when we want decent roads as if there was some connection.

          One of the main reasons for the apparent demand trains and trams is the section of the population who consider themselves too posh for coaches and buses. Fine, as long as the fares are set to pay the costs of providing the service, not heavily subsidised by the rest of us.

          Like

    • 21
      Owen Jones says:

      Once you have been First Class there is no going back.

      Like

    • 136
      Paul Fox says:

      It seems 99% of people cannot see the herd of elephants in the room?? HS2 is all part of the 4th Reich EU grand plan to divide Britain (and Europe as a whole) into the regions once the counties we have had for a 1,000 years are lost to history!

      Like

  2. 2
    Come on Chelsea says:

    Chelsea for the league

    Like

  3. 3
    Podiceps says:

    It’s easy to jump on the bandwagon when the project already seems to be in full retreat (rightly).

    Like

  4. 4
    Wernher von Braun says:

    HS2 will never get off the ground.

    Like

  5. 5
    Garfield says:

    At the end of the day as soon as it came off the drawing board any sane person realised it was a load of bollocks..

    Like

  6. 7
    Aardvark says:

    Brilliant.

    I rather suspect this is a railway for the elite. In the Soviet Union there were lanes on the roads reserved for Party members.

    Who’s going to use this, Civil servants, Eurocrats and BBC executives on expenses, the rich, the well connected and officials of all colours.

    Me and 90% of the British public will not be allowed on, too expensive.

    I am paying for a private rail line for rich people – comrade.

    Like

    • 13
      was it something I said? says:

      ‘I am paying for a private rail line for rich people ‘

      ALL railways are for rich people. If passengers had to pay the full cost of providing a rail service then fares would double. They’re all heavily subsidised by the taxpayer.

      Like

      • 20
        Aardvark says:

        Not if they were privately run.

        Most Japanese trains are run privately, with no state subsidy, and they are the best in the world.

        I don’t subsidise this website, and its 1st class. If it were subsidised by the tax payer that would not be so.

        Like

        • 93
          Táxpáyér says:

          Iron economic rule.
          Subsidy lowers quality.

          Just look at what the “welfare” state does.

          Like

      • 122
        1st Class says:

        …”Concord”…..

        Like

  7. 9
    Garfield says:

    I read something about four or five years ago, it showed that the train from Bristol/London to Edinburgh was only about 8 mins slower in the 1930’s than present day. Whether or not that is relevant I do not know.

    Like

    • 16
      Reader says:

      I would recommend Matthew Engel’s ‘Eleven Minutes late’ as a good general introduction to the endemic crappery that is our railway system.

      Like

      • 23
        Aardvark says:

        In 1930 privately run.

        2014 State run.

        Nuff said.

        Like

        • 38
          An Old Buffer says:

          The railways in Britain were not as good in 1930 as they should have been

          Like

          • Aardvark says:

            The network was 30% bigger than it is now, without 1 penny of tax payer’s money.

            Sounds like a good deal.

            Like

          • Ye of no ambition says:

            They were antedeluvian then and they antedeluvian now. We could have had a fully electrified system by 1930.

            We could have had a railway, and a road link, across the Channel and between Glasgow and Belfast.

            Like

    • 76
      Hose has more than one meaning! says:

      I read something similar about traffic speeds in London. In 1920 it was roughly 11mph….. about the same as now.

      Plus ca change?

      Like

  8. 10
    Reader says:

    Well done Guido. You have allowed comments on a sponsored post. Keep it up.

    (Thouh I was not too impressed by the advert for UNITE earlier. Any way of blocking those?)

    Like

    • 79
      A mere suggestion, nudge, wink says:

      Try Firefox with Adblock. Works a treat, and speeds up the reload rates.

      Like

  9. 11
    Owen fuckin' Jones - Working C-larse Hero says:

    NO fact on the file Guido

    Like

  10. 15
    The World says:

    Britain looks stupid. You can’t build a railway line, you can’t expand your airports. Your army has scuttled out of Iraq and Afghanistan.

    Like

    • 62
      Reader says:

      The army should never have gone to Iraq or Afghanistan, so I am glad they have left. I am with you on the railway.

      As for the airports, if we had a modern railway system which the public could afford to use, we might not need to expland those, just use them more rationally.

      Like

    • 124
      Village Idiot says:

      ….We managed fine before “The World” came to this sceptered isle,to our blessed plot,this seat of mars,this land of such dear souls,once!!!!!!

      Like

  11. 18
    YOUR LINKS ARE BROKEN says:

    Guido

    Sack the fooking Intern and check the external link…

    Jeez

    Like

  12. 19
  13. 24
    Garfield says:

    I have noticed that you can get modded for almost anything, it is starting to get a bit bizarre.

    Like

  14. 26
    Left Watch says:

    hey Guido,

    What’s with the Unite NHS propaganda ads in the side bar?

    Like

    • 133
      Hugh Manatee says:

      Count your blessings. I have got a toenail fungus ad in mine. If I could swap, I would.

      Like

  15. 29
    Hang the Bastards says:

    Follow the money. It will end up in the accounts of the usual Lib/Lab/Con spivs.

    Like

  16. 39
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    Anger as thousands of Nurses denied a 1% pay rise…. but its OK for MPs to have an 11% Rise in Pay … Hear Hear …Pip Pip

    Like

    • 40
      Ed Balls says:

      Is that twice as much? 1+1 = 11

      Like

    • 45
      Call me old fashioned says:

      Call me old fashioned but I thought you set wages at a level to find applicants for the job.

      Nurses are not going to leave the NHS to work in Tesco so no need to dole them more money. And constituency parties have no shortage of candidates for election either. Freeze all public sector wages and fire the bottom 10% which will make productivity soar as the dregs are washed away.

      Like

      • 47
        Mitch says:

        Ah ok – so, you’d be happy for your boss to reduce your salary every year until it got to a level when you left? And he’d still do it, anyway, because he can then hire someone else on even less money to do it?

        Yes, good idea.

        Like

        • 49
          Paniagua V5.1 says:

          I assume it is many years (if ever) that you have worked in the Private sector?

          Like

          • Mitch says:

            You assume wrong. I’m in the private sector and have had no pay rise for 3 years, so effectively a salary cut.

            I’m not sure what your point is?

            Like

          • Paniagua V5.1 says:

            Like me then (but I am 5 years without a pay rise).

            So is my boss being harsh?

            Clue: I’m the CEO

            Like

          • Mitch says:

            CEO and tea boy?

            My point is times are hard enough without pushing salaries down for the sake of it.

            Like

          • Paniagua V5.1 says:

            Tea Boy !!

            In a small company one wears many hats

            Like

          • Small Business says:

            Agreed. I do everything, even the government’s job for it in collecting VAT and ticking boxes so people can celebrate diversity. Sometimes I even manage to spend a little time minding my own business.

            Like

      • 60
        Anonymous says:

        So dickhead you’ve spent thousands and years in training on training the health professional at tax payer expense only to treat them like crap so they leave where you repeat the process again or buy in foreign labour and end up shelling out for all the associated other costs.

        Of course the private healthcare sector don’t train their staff as they steal them from the NHS so no overheads such as training so more profit for them from the taxpayer.

        Like

        • 64
          Pedigogue says:

          Nurses have to fund their own degree these days, just like Doctors.

          Like

          • was it something I said? says:

            That’s because, when I were a kid, nurses learned on the job. They spent three years working as nurses with the occasional bit of classroom. Now they spend three years writing essays about the importance of cultural sensitivity in the workplace and a bit of work experience in a ward. With the result that after three years they’re good for fuck all.

            But they’ve got a degree. And they’re working for the NHS. So they get six weeks off and sit around the ‘nurse’s station’ all day while they order a Sri Lankan auxiliary to do the work.

            Like

        • 66
          was it something I said? says:

          It doesn’t require much training to do a bedbath or clean up some puke or shit. The problem is that the darlings, with their degrees, are now too fucking good to do a nurses job so we have to hire somebody else to do that. Which is why NHS staffing rates have soared even as they still manage to be so institutionally incompetent that folk die of fucking well dehydration.

          Like

          • Paniagua V5.1 says:

            ‘Which is why NHS staffing rates have soared’

            It’s quicker to just type ‘Agenda for Change’

            Like

        • 70
          Fixed it for you says:

          So dickhead you’ve spent very little on training the British health professional (who has borrowed money to go to college) at minimal tax payer expense only to treat them like crap so they leave where you repeat the process again and buy in foreign labour and end up shelling out for all the associated other costs.

          Of course the British healthcare sector doesn’t train enough of their staff as they steal them from the third world so no overheads such as training so more profit for the politicians who take bribes from the multinationals who are fleecing the taxpayer

          Like

          • was it something I said? says:

            The reason they quit is because when they get their first job that’s the first time they’ve done any fucking nursing. they’ve spent three years doing biology and writing essays about diversity in the work-place and a couple of weeks ‘shadowing’ a real nurse.

            The reality of cleaning up shit and shift work comes as a fucking surprise.

            Back in the day they’d have quit in the first month of the course and saved themselves and everybody else a lot of wasted time and effort.

            Like

        • 96
          cheche says:

          How can they be professional when they have never worked.

          Like

    • 58
      Hugh Janus says:

      I gather Bob Crow approved of the 11% rise…?

      Like

  17. 42
    UKIP for me says:

    HS2 = a great deal of gravy train money for the ruling class to divvy up between them.

    A useless project by a useless regime.

    Like

    • 46
      Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

      In true, time-worn LibDem style, I wish to disassociate with myself with anything which won’t guarantee to win me votes.

      If circumstances in that particular regard should change, so will our stance.

      Like

  18. 55
    bergen says:

    I understand that 75% 0f the benefits of HS2 could be achieved for less than 20% of the cost if the 1990’s proposal to reopen/re-engineer the Great Central Railway was adopted instead.

    Like

    • 68
      Garfield says:

      Yes but that would mean no lovely big contracts to give to your family and friends.

      Like

    • 82
      RAIL IS GOOD says:

      You sir are correct.

      Their IS a case for a new reasonably high speed line, but its about CAPACITY now (well that’s what they are saying now when the speed argument was seen to b absurd).

      What the HS2 types are trying to do is say that we need more capacity, thus we need HS2, there are NO alternatives. So, if you don’t agree with HS2, then you will get hardly any new capacity, nor will you get regeneration. This is palpable nonsense.

      Most people agree we need more rail capacity, reopened lines and better services. Increased capacity can be provided by reopening the Great Central line and adding some new relatively short offshoots to serve Manchester, Birmigham and Leeds. The area between Sheffield and Leeds needs a new section of line, but thats pretty much wasteland anyway.

      The main capacity problem is not long distance north / south, but actually commuter services to London which take up too many paths which could easily be freed up for north / south services. These commuter servceis could relatively easily be moved to Great Central or upgrades to other lines – you don’t need high speed from Milton Keynes do you?

      Its just a case of the politicians want a grand plan and if you don’t like our plan then we’ll take our bat and ball home. LOOK AT THE ALTERNATIVES before committing silly money to HS2.

      Like

      • 92
        Londoner says:

        +1

        Like

      • 109
        600,000 pa says:

        Maybe if 600,000 immigrants were not arriving in London last year, this year, next year, the year after and forever… then we might not suffer from overcrowding or need ridiculous HS2 vanity projects.

        Like

    • 104
      Be careful what you wish for says:

      Why would you want to get to Brum ten minutes early at a cost of umpteen billion quid?

      a) videoconferencing

      Like

  19. 65
    Retailer Off Course says:

    ALDI …. Efficient, young, enthusiastic staff who ALL undertake ANY task don’t ever sit on their arses. Keen prices, great tasting fresh food, lots of speciality products.

    MORRISONS … Overstaffed (more ‘supervisors’ who appear to do nothing useful than ALDI have total staff). Staff old (often appear to have retired but possibly owing to dementia forgotten to stay at home). Staff cannot seem to do any other job when they have nothing to do. Customers forced to use crap do-it-yourself workstations while staff sit on arses. ALDI do NOT force you to do your own scanning. Even the card machines are slower than ALDI. Managers hiding in offices. Nearly everything overpriced – check out ALDI, not Sainsbury’s for comparisons. Lots of useless multibuys. Tasteless and expensive fresh foods. A few years ago they won loads of awards for their wine … what did they do? added £1 to virtually every bottle of wine shortly after. ALDI got award recently …. price stayed the same. Even if Morrisons do drop a few prices, their cost base will ensure that they will make an even bigger loss. They need to make huge staff redundancies, up the quality, then seriously lower the prices not just another Dalton Philips marketing puff. It takes hard work to correct years of increasing prices, lost direction, poor merchandise lazy staff and dire managers.

    Morrisons shares :- SELL

    To partody their slogan. “THERE IS NO REASON TO SHOP AT MORRISONS”

    Like

    • 69
      was it something I said? says:

      There never was a reason.

      Same goes for ASDA.

      Fucking awful place staffed by care-in-the-community types. And the customers are worse.

      ASDA fucks with your DNA. I’ve never seen so many fucking mutants under one roof. It’s like a fucking Romanian orphanage. A giant green Romanian orphanage.

      Like

      • 75
        here's an idea says:

        Try using independent shops and markets.

        Like

      • 88
        Londoner says:

        ASDA has to be one of the vilest shops in the universe.

        Like

      • 129
        The dregs says:

        I nominate Adsa Dunfermline as the most depressing hellhole on the planet. Appalling place.

        Like

        • 139
          Anonymous says:

          That’s because it’s Dunfermline, not because it’s Asda. Go to a Co op anywhere, get sullen service from unmotivated staff.

          Mind you, if you are in a place where the shop is a Scotmid, this is the universal sign of a complete shithole, get out quick.

          Like

    • 80
      Dreams of getting thru an Aldi till in less than 10 mins says:

      Aldi where you take 5mins to get what you want and wait half a day to pay for it, because they have one on the till and the rest are busy somewhere else and don’t answer to the buzzer they have to open another till.

      Like

      • 87
        Paniagua V5.1 says:

        Our local Aldi is nothing like you detail here. It is fantastically fast, and it’s full of fellow middle class folk that have suddenly woken up to the fact that bigger supermarkets DO NOT deliver value for money OR convenience.

        The only downside is the car park, it’s that busy that it is difficult to park, at any time.

        Like

      • 89
        The clue's in the name says:

        Aldi Allday

        Like

    • 83
      Have you also noticed says:

      Aldi ‘appear’ to employ less enrichers?

      Like

      • 103
        Twampersand mk III says:

        My local Morrisons is packy-tastic, and ASDA is referred to as WAZDA.

        Like

        • 106
          Paniagua V5.1 says:

          How long before the big 3 stop selling booze and pōrk products completely for fear of offending their workforce?

          Like

          • Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

            There is nothing in the Koran that stops a muslim from handling alcohol for sale to the public or pork products (most of which are plastic wrapped these days anyway).

            Like

        • 113
          Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

          Ever since i’ve been having home delivery from ASDA i haven’t has a single foreigner. They have all been white male indigenous delivery d’rivers.

          Like

        • 132
          It's all at the Co-Op! says:

          It’s certainly not, ‘mullah-lite’ then (groan!!)

          Like

    • 119
      SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

      Aldi sells third rate foreign imported shit of dubious origin ,the cheese counter looks like something out of Moscow in about 1958 . The choice and quality of items on display in Morrison , Sainsbury , ASDA , Waitrose etc. is obviously far superior .

      Like

    • 137
      Anonymous says:

      Aldi is fantastic for certain things, I absolutely love the store. But it is difficult to do a full weeks shop there unless you don’t mind eating the same things all the time.

      Morrisons is the best for vegetables and fresh food by a long margin, but utterly crap and overpriced for everything else.

      Like

  20. 73
    in the real world says:

    Abandon HS2 NOW.
    It was a stupid idea when Labour first proposed it .
    It’s still a stupid idea now.

    It’s a ridiculous waste of money which could be better
    spent improving the existing rail network.

    Like

    • 81
      was it something I said? says:

      The best way to spend 70bn quid that you don’t have would be to not spend it in the first fucking place.

      Like

    • 85
      A mere suggestion says:

      perhaps Nige should add it to his draft personifesto.

      Like

    • 130
      The fat controller living in George Osborne's constituency says:

      Yes. better spent on existing infrastructure and other capital projects, who the f^ck wants to get to Brum any quicker than they have too anyway?

      Like

  21. 86
    Jacob R-M says:

    I am afraid I cannot understand this man, is he from the Continent?

    Like

  22. 98
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    John Bishop, another of our crop of unfunny so called comedians.

    Like

  23. 105
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    It’s an aitch not a haitch.

    Like

  24. 115
    The tit from no. 10 on the Witney-Euston express says:

    I know you floating voters prefer a bit of retro so this’s ditty just for you :

    ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

    Oh well, I’m the type of guy who’ll never get pinned down,
    Where voters are to be bought, you know I’ll be around;
    I promise what they want to hear, to me they’re all the same,
    I rob ‘em and I squeeze ‘em, they must surely want my train.

    They call me the squanderer,
    Yeah, the squanderer,
    I just spend and spend and spend and spend.

    Oh well, I cruise from town to town,
    I go through life without a care,
    And I’m as happy as a clown,
    With my degree in PPE I can come anywhere.

    I’m the type of guy that likes a Roma round,
    I’m never in the same place, I cruise from town to town,
    And when I find myself in court ’cause of some wild-haired young girl,
    I’ll hop right on that train of mine and ride round in a whirl.

    Yeah I’m the squanderer,
    Yeah, the squanderer,
    I just spend and spend and spend and spend.

    ‘Cause I’m a squanderer’
    Yeah, a squanderer’
    I just spend and spend and spend and spend.

    ‘Cause I’m a squanderer
    Yeah, a squanderer

    ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

    Like

  25. 118
    SIZE 14 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    H2S is a Euro project, directly ordered by the Kommissars of Brussels, Cameron would rather bring the flak down on his own head rather than allow this simple fact to become public knowledge.

    Like

  26. 120
    parisclaims says:

    I rather see a fraction of the money spent on border security and round up patrols. Throw out all the labour voting parasites Blair/.Brown imported

    Like

  27. 123
    Anonymous says:

    I (me) love pussy (Hunt)

    Like

  28. 127
    Percy says:

    Very good!

    Like

  29. 128
    The fat controller living in George Osborne's constituency says:

    Choo, Choo Hs2!

    Like

  30. 134
    It's all at the Co-Op! says:

    Bastard modded again! I’ll try this…
    The local p^k! off licence sells alcohol bt the shed load.
    They don’t drink it they sell it to us, that’s their rel!g!on!

    Like

  31. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Imagine the jobs that would be created all over the country if the fuckwits spent 50 billion quid on repairing fucking awful roads we have to contend with, we spend more money upgrading the sewerage system in Turkey than we spend on our roads thanks to these fucking traitorous bastards in all parties.

    Like

  32. 140
    Anonymous says:

    HS2 will allow more companies to close down their regional offices and operate out of London. Hence why it is attractive to our Londoncentric politicians.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

What Will Happen if Scots Leave? | David Aaronovitch
Why Are Radicals Like Carswell Leaving Tories? | BBC
Danczuk: Rotherham Abuse Imported From Pakistan | Telegraph
Ashya King Case Shows How Authorities Get it Wrong | ConHome
The Carswell Show | Jon Craig
Cops Seized Journalist’s Phone to Out Whistleblower | Press Gazette
Chuka’s £2,500 Tax Avoidance Donation | Times
Another BBC Stitch Up? | David Keighley
Divided, Pessimistic Tories Expect Defeat | Alex Wickham
Labour Suspends Rotherham Council Members | Sky
PM Used Terror Crisis to Deflect From Carswell | Rachel Sylvester


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We also need Zil lanes.


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