PMQs SKETCH: Harriet Harman is Grooming the LibDems mdi-fullscreen

Questions to the Prime Minister weren’t to the Prime Minister, nor were they questions.

Nick Clegg was denounced, castigated, mocked and accused by Harriet Harman, Toby Perkins, Kevin Brennan and many others of crimes against lapdogs, of shameless, spineless capitulation to the Tories, of kicking apprentices in the teeth, evicting widows, starving children, killing constituents, and (worst of the worst) “electoral self-interest” (gasps from a shocked Labour movement).

This wasn’t Harriet Harman “holding the executive to account” this was “grooming”.

This was making sure the Lib Dems know what’s expected of them when Ed Miliband needs a coalition partner after the general election.

They want to be sure that the Libs will spinelessly kick apprentices in the teeth for Labour.

There won’t be a problem.

Clegg counter-denounced Harriet for the mess she’d left behind. The deficit. Bankers. Poverty.

Clegg assumes he will be standing at the same despatch box next year counter-attacking Tories for the mess he and Labour are clearing up (the deficit, bankers, poverty).

But then he’s assuming it will be he who is the kingmaker and not Lord Biro of the Bus Pass Elvis Party who famously thrashed the Libs in Clifton recently.

PS: Peter Bone (still at large and making the most of it) asked about a referendum on EU membership, prompting Clegg to quote David Cameron: ” ‘If you give up powers of the British people you should ask the British people first.’ “ And then Clegg added: “I entirely agree.” Bit late getting to that particular bierkeller. He wasn’t suggesting the British people should have a say on powers when the Single European Act was signed. He wasn’t saying it in the 90s, the 2000s – when *did* he start making these revolutionary sceptic noises?

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