March 12th, 2014

Labour Claim Dirty Tricks at All-Party Russia Group Election

It’s all kicking off at the election of the chairman of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Russia this afternoon. Tory John Randall has beaten Labour’s Chris Bryant after a huge scrum at the ballot box. Now Bryant’s backers are claiming the Tories tried to stitch up the vote. Labour MP Stephen Doughty tells Guido:

“It was chaotic. The room was absolutely packed with a line out of the door when Claire Perry starting saying “I’m shutting the door, I’m locking the door.” She was standing in front of the door and blocking people from going in. There were a lot of Tory whips there. I asked her on what authority she was doing it – the door was bulging. Eventually she gave up.”

Defeated Bryant described it as a “positively Russian style election” and shadow foreign affairs minister Ian Lucas claims “Tory Cabinet Ministers [were] trying to stop Chris Bryant from being Chair of APPG on Russia”A coup worthy of Khrushchev’s fall from the Politburo?

UPDATE: A Randall supporter insists it was “just a major whipping organisation by some Tory backbenchers.”


  1. 1
    ancientpopeye says:

    If true…good.

  2. 2
    Tom Badwind says:

    “absolutely packed with a line out of the door “

    Let me at it !!

  3. 3
    Border Terrier says:

    Shame Chris didn’t get the job. He and Vladimir are such obvious soul mates – I could see them together.

  4. 4
    Chris "stitched" Bryant says:

    “There were a lot of Tory whips there. I asked her on what authority she was doing it – the door was bulging.
    and I looked down and so were my underpants , ooh whips, beat me beat me”

    There FTFY

  5. 5
    N Evans says:

    the door was bulging

    Not the only thing that would’ve been bulging if I’d been there.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Awww diddums. Ikkle Chrissy didn’t get his own way.

  7. 7
    Cocky IV says:

    Did Chris say:

  8. 8

    In the finest traditions of the Conservative Party.

    My congratulations to the new chair of the 1938 committee.

  9. 9
    Smelly Twat says:

  10. 10
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    I’ve got that too.

  11. 11
    Pleb says:

    Why? Did he try to mount Bercow?

  12. 12
    Handycock says:

    I would have made an excellent candidate.

  13. 13
    Pleb says:

    Is there an 1838 committee, trying to take us back to Dickensian times?

  14. 14
    A retort says:

    Silly sausage.

  15. 15
    Penfold says:

    The Tories have learnt from the Sozi’s and Commies how to manipulate and stitch things up.

  16. 16 says:

    So Cameron’s for sanctions against Russia for holding a referendum, but he’s against any sanctions when it comes to Israel, who have not only occupied a country without bothering with the whole “show of democracy” that is a referendum, but are actively undermining their ability to feed, clothe and educate themselves through travel restrictions and import restrictions.

    What a man eh. Full of contradictions and…hot air..?

  17. 17
    Labour spin fail says:

    To a time before Labour could be blamed for wrecking the economy.

  18. 18
    Vlad's Postal Votes and Goon Squads says:

    We learned much from Labour.

  19. 19
    Gary Elsby Stoke-on-Trent says:

    To all Labour MPs who say they have been stitched up in a vote.

    I don’t care.

  20. 20
    Vlad the G(r)8 says:

    Who’s the Spanish looking bloke with the ice-pick?

  21. 21
    C O (Ξ6) says:

    Cameron should extend sanctions to !srael as well.

    That would stop P’tin from playing the victim card.

    But alas Dave is hoping to buy gas from them, or at least convince them that they should sell to G’ermany…

  22. 22
    Trotsky's bumsex marriage says:

    Cameron’s au pair ?

  23. 23
    aurora borealis says:

    And chrisbryant wants to be chair of this russia group for what reason?

    I suppose it’s all to do with additional expenses, free luxury travel and the possibilities to raise his profile in a controversial was given that he’s gay and russia is anti-gay.

    At this rather sensitive time in world history one can’t help feeling that a more statesmanlike chairman/woman might be more beneficial.

  24. 24
    Bastards the lot of em says:

    Can’t get away with that Chris Bryant

  25. 25
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    There are no chairs left.

  26. 26
    aurora borealis says:

    are you sure that is not a medieval stilleto – the assassins weapon of choice from the 14th to the 16th century.

  27. 27
    Vladimir Putin says:

    Authorities believe the missing Malaysian airliner changed course.

    No shit.

    From up to down.

  28. 28
    william hague's pathetic wedding day kiss photo opportunity attempt that screamed he's a bummer says:

    wow !srael, gas and g’ermany all in the same comment and it gets past the twatb0t

  29. 29
    Owen Jones says:

    I think Bryant is ideal for the role of being one of our principal politicians dealing with Russia because there is absolutely no way his private life or lifestyle in general could ever be used as a rich source of blackmail material.

    I am resolute on this point, just as I am in my support for comrade Maduro.

    Even if he starts hanging the poofs, my fucked-up lefty victimhood-poker addled brain will still find a way to allow me to express support for him.

  30. 30
    was it something I said? says:

    It looks like Assad managed to sneak in the room there too. I wonder who he voted for?

  31. 31
    Chrissy fit says:

    Whenever you hear the name ‘Chris Bryant’, do you not remember the photo of him in his undies, trying to attract a man on a gay sex site?
    And then you fall on the floor lyfho. (Like now)
    This dick is meant to be someone that we hold in esteem, an Honourable Member

  32. 32
    aurora borealis says:

    “meant to be someone that we hold in esteem, an Honourable Member” !!


  33. 33
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Vladimir Vladimirovich, you are not Catherine the Great, whatever you think.

  34. 34
    Garfield says:

    Of course Cameron should not ask for sanctions against Isr@el, in fact he should not be asking for sanctions against Russia. But then again what do I expect from the Tin Foil crash helmet brigade. Nurse let you use the computer.

  35. 35
    Sir William Wayde says:

    That’s a dachshund, Claire.

  36. 36
    the chancellor of the exchequer says:

    me too.

  37. 37
    Sir William Wayde says:

    To be fair, the Ukrainians aren’t sending rockets into Russia or suicide-bombing Russian weddings. Not yet, anyway.

  38. 38
    Garfield says:

    Mind you Catherine and Bryant have something in common, they both like cock.

  39. 39
    JH-230912384590231-1 says:

    Christ Bryant should be running a cheerfully scruffy sex shop catering to the unhill gardening community in Brighton. He could be perfectly content rearranging the oversize butt-plugs in the window.

    He’d be happier there. We’d be happier if he was there.

    Just go, Chris.

  40. 40
    The Usual Fruitcakes says:

    It was the Bermuda Triangle/aliens/Mossad/the Illuminati/creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions/the CIA/Bromley & District Bowls Club!!!

  41. 41
    Blowing Whistles 1 says:

    Was that ‘a line’ al la Robbie Fowler?

  42. 42
    Garfield says:

    God your good. Ever thought of being a career advisor? or what ever they call them today.

  43. 43
    Count Orlov says:

  44. 44
    Blowing Whistles 1 says:

    i am in shock and awe.

  45. 45
    Garfield says:

    They do not need to, they are threatening to unleash that bint Ashton on borders of Russia.

  46. 46
    Norfolk's Finest says:

    Bryant shouldn’t be allowed any position of responsibility on anything.

  47. 47
    Blowing Whistles 1 says:

    Try smearing me you great lumpen craven pathetic blinker wearing fuckwit.

  48. 48
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    All those that don’t applaud long enough and loud enough should be taken outside and shot, the ones that do applaud long enough and loud enough should be taken outside and shot twice.

  49. 49
    Blowing Whistles 1 says:

    Fuck off and before you do read the fucking strapline at the top of this blog – fruitcake blinker wearing excuse merchant.

  50. 50
    was it something I said? says:

    That’s more the Chechen’s style. It’s a religion of peace thing.

  51. 51
    Garfield says:

    C O (Ξ6 will be scouring the internet working himself into a lather copying and pasting all night giving us his pearls of wisdom. I think he does it cos it gives him a stiffy.

  52. 52
    nicola sturgeon says:

    i am a massive fanny muncher.

  53. 53
    alex salmond says:

    i am just a massive fanny.

  54. 54
    C O (Ξ6) says:

    So it looks like R-Fed are moving from wishing to humiliate the West to now challenging fundamental aspects of International Law.

    P’tin today told U’kraine that it’s original secession from the USSR was illegal:

    In other news, B’elarus has requested additional warplanes from Moscow in response to increased NATO activity along its borders:


    NB: The additional NATO activity is due to Art 4 requests put in by P’oland and L’ithuania.

    O’bama is due to welcome U PM Arseniy Yatsenyuk to Whitehouse today:


  55. 55
    was it something I said? says:

    Turns out it’s the C*at*hol*ics. Who knew?

    I’m a C*at*hol*ic by birth so if it turns out I’m one of the chosen ones and nobody fucking well told me I shall be very cross indeed.

  56. 56
    fritz says:

    says the fat unfunny ginger cu.nt who got dropped by the daily mail.

  57. 57
    ChrisPee Brownspants says:

    As usual its Labour’s Boggin’ Politics! They are bunch of lefty wimps and you can sense the fear a mile off.

    Stick a red rosette on a bunged up bog and thicko lefty tûrds will vote it!

  58. 58
    Chris Bryant's Fresh Y-Fronts says:

    Back in the pants Garfield. Back in the pants.

  59. 59
    Potato salad says:

    Woofytees are generally showing poor judgement presently, what with homo marriage and all, haven’t we all had enough of the chocolate lickers?

  60. 60
    RomaBob.... working hard for you! says:

    Chris Bryant the only gay in the valley ? :)

  61. 61
    RomaBob.... working hard for you! says:

    Hmmmmmm…… Mr UndiePants?

  62. 62
    willie wanker says:

    great the slaughter is
    here made by the roman; great the answer be
    britons must take.

  63. 63
    Put it in says:

    My R Fed intends to join with Uganda to create a ring of resistance to EU gayers, we all know al about your mr Hag for exqmple, is the delightful fion adequately catered for?

    We have many real men to show how it should be.

  64. 64
    Pitkapoika says:

    We’re all friends of Russia up the Rhondda.

  65. 65
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    Gary, we miss you.

  66. 66
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    I know if I was an MP I’d laugh my cock off every time I saw cwispy pants or BBC Dromey.

  67. 67
    Chris Bryant's underpants says:

    Thank God for that, I haven’t been washed for weeks!

  68. 68
    JH-230912384590231-1 says:

    I’m not sure we have the best leaders in place to deal with this crisis.

    On balance, I would prefer them to display cowardice in this case rather than the rank stupidity and ability to fuck things up beyond all recognition that they have so ably displayed in our domestic affairs.

    I do enjoy the fact that the EU is having to drop all the bullshit about it being the cause of peace in Europe.

  69. 69
    Timmy Pavile says:

    Whether he likes it or not, the truth is Russia is a deeply homophobic country. Until that changes, and from my experience its probably a generational change, then no amount of do-gooders on jollies can hope to influence a thing.

    On the other hand, if its scouting trips that he’s after, then I’m sure he’d do well showing solidarity and spoiling his skiders over the Metropolitan elite.

    He’d just better not try it on in the suburbs because he’d likely get his fucking head caved in!

  70. 70
    Anon says:

    Dip his end in toxic Sally ? Oh Lord . . . .

  71. 71
    Anon says:

    You’re only saying that because he shags you regular.

  72. 72
    Jack Ketch says:

    I read once (don’t know if it was true or aprocryphal) that the KGB once had a school for whoofters in Lenigrad staffed by former Bolshoi and Kirov male dancers where spies were trained in homo sexual techniques, seduction and interaction. ( one would guess they set up marmite traps, rather than honey traps). Maybe Bryant knows more about Vlad than we do and can’t wait to see if he can still stiffen the Popular Front.

  73. 73
    Chris says:

    I don’t recommend Russian underpants because cher knob’ll fall out.

  74. 74
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    Labour or Tory – who cares? I doubt if any of these self-serving, homicidal kleptocrats knows where Russia is. I wouldn’t give you tuppence for the lot of ‘em.

  75. 75
    carlo gambino says:

    Underpants has(d) a balls-achingly boring half-page ‘blog’ in the Independent.

    The Independent has a Russian owner.

    Read it and tell me he got the job on merit.

  76. 76
    When putsch comes to shove says:

    Oi – get your hand out of my trousers.

  77. 77
    itth a mythewy says:

    Why would anyone other than a BBC gay marxist p#do want Bryant elected to anything?

  78. 78
    should just about do it says:

    2,000 years BC

  79. 79
    STFU says:

    you’re obsession with Hague suggests your own interests are somewhat of the arse

  80. 80
    arf says:

    blowing cocks more loik

  81. 81
    arf says:

    blowing cocks more loik

  82. 82
    not sure says:

    Chris Evans?

  83. 83
    Clarkson says:

    now that’s what I’m talking about

  84. 84
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Defeated Bryant described it as a “positively Russian style election”..;

    This would be a good thing in the circumstances, surely?

  85. 85
    JR says:

    Unlike Chris Bryant -John Randall- dose not a claim for housing, travel or other personal expenses. He is also fluent in Russian and Serbian I doubt Chris Bryant could find Balaclava on a map without an all expenses paid MP fact finding tour complete with KGB rent-boy honey trap.

    Chris Bryant claimed over £92,000 in expenses over the five years leading up to the 2009 scandal over MPs’ expenses. He flipped his second-home expenses twice, claimed mortgage interest at £7,800 per year before (after flipping) to £12,000 per year. He also claimed £6,400 in stamp duty and other fees on his most recent purchase, and £6,000 per year in service charges.

  86. 86
    Bitsan Pieces says:

    These days they can rightly claim to the the cause of the pieces in the EU. Just ask France, Italy, Greece, Cyprus, Spain , Portugal etc etc…

  87. 87
    Shurdyrover says:

    CB soundS perfect for the job then JR!!

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    “Bryant described it as a “positively Russian style election”
    More democratic than those involving ‘owned’ political parties in the West then? Doesn’t the Scottish referendum smack of real democracy in action? Much like self-determination majority litmus tests in the Falklands and a province of the Ukraine. ’Though not like the undemocratic EU block on the voice of the people, which is what’s occurring in the crime-’ere.

  89. 89
    The Electoral Commission says:

    Of course he would be far more comfortable with a B’ham/Tower Hamlets/Bradford/Wythennhaw style vote – or better postal only

  90. 90
    Sir Tom Jones says:

    Cwm Rhonnda or Rhoddri?

  91. 91
    National Y-Front says:

    Surely they all knew that Bryant is total pants?


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