March 11th, 2014

“Oh God, It’s Happening to Me Now”

Today in court three alleged victims of sex offences at the hands of Nigel Evans gave evidence against the former Deputy Speaker. The first alleged victim told the court he felt a “very drunk” Evans put his hand down his trousers in a Soho bar. He said he thought at the time “oh god it’s happening to me now… if I don’t walk away I am going to hit him,” and that “it wasn’t a comedy squeeze. I knew what he was doing, he knew what he was doing.” Evans was, he said, “like a drunken 14 year old at a school disco who couldn’t chat you up with words”. Another witness present confirmed they also saw Evans put his hand down the man’s trousers. Under cross-examination, the alleged victim played down the incident, saying “he was just being drunk Nigel” and that he didn’t consider himself the victim of a crime.

The second alleged victim told the court a “very clearly very heavily intoxicated” Evans put his hands down his trousers at Tory party conference in 2003. He said he told Conor Burns, now a  Tory MP, that Evans was subsequently put to bed. He said he told then junior whip Mark Hoban what had happened and that he considered it something he could leave the whips to resolve. The alleged victim described Evans as “a drunken letch at a bar” and said that “although I thought his behaviour was unacceptable I didn’t want it to be pursued.”

The third alleged victim claimed Evans tried to kiss him at parliament’s Strangers bar. He said that when he left the bar to use the bathroom Evans called him into another room and leaned in to kiss him. He told him “No, we’re not doing that” and pushed him away. A friend later dismissed the incident, saying “that’s what Nigel can be like”. The trial continues…

Via @stepholiversky, @evansma, @rachelsmithlep and @joshhalliday.


  1. 1
    ordinary member of the public says:

    Is there anyone in parliament who isn’t a sad perv,
    corrupt or a liar?

  2. 2
    MPs and their homoerotic fantasies says:

  3. 3
    Welcome to the House of Bum says:

    Come and join us and find out!

  4. 4
    MacGuffin says:

    These are the PROSECUTION’S witnesses? I would say Mr Evans has very little to fear.

  5. 5
    I want to know says:

    Whether he’s guilty or not, why the hell did the
    Tories promote Evans with allegations like these
    hanging over him?

  6. 6
    jefferson says:

    is it a crime to be drunk and try and get off with someone now?

    none of the above looks like it should be criminal or even frowned upon. isn’t that what booze is for?

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    And if a man had done this to a Women he would have been locked up and then sentenced the next day, if not in one of the governments own night courts

  8. 8
    Garfield says:

    This is one of the problems of our parliamentary system when you vote for the party and not the man/woman. This allows all the pervs,liars,troughers etc to sneak in under the guise of the party. One of the ways around it is all candidates to be vetted and the result made public.

  9. 9
    Ooh duckie! says:

    I thought there were no gays in the Tory party? Have I been mislead by all these commenters who post every day about bumboys and arse sex and claim it’s only disgusting lefties who do it and never good, wholesome, married, straight, butch right wingers?

  10. 10
    Alison Saunders is wasting our money! says:

    Good grief, court cases about a bit of Frankie Howard! Where will our absurd Director of Public Prosecutions train her attention next? We have already had the ridiculous case against DLT.
    Jesus, is a bit of slap and tickle and offence these days?
    Alison Saunders is squandering public money on stupid court cases, which are making a laughing stock of our legal system. She should resign and resign forthwith!

  11. 11
    Mike Hancock says:

    Nigel Evans is a disgrace to politics.

  12. 12
    Dave's Gay Bribe says:

    So the Tory “victims” do not consider themselves as victims. Little wonder then that Dave gave them Homosexual weddings.

  13. 13
    Ken Livingstone says:

    The Tory Party is riddled with homosexualists!

  14. 14
    Bob says:

    If it was he was trying it on against a woman it would be sexual harassment, maybe even sexual assault -why should it be any different for poofters trying to pull normal blokes?

  15. 15
    Alison Saunders is wasting our money! says:

    Why? Because he gets drunk? Because he is gay? Because he oversteps the mark sometimes?
    Christ, who hasn’t indulged in a bit of slap and tickle when drunk, whether with the same sex or not?

  16. 16
    A Chinaman says:

    If a bloke put his hands down my trousers I would have knocked his lights out.

    I would not have kept quiet about it for donkeys years then gone crawling to the police and saddled the taxpayer with an expensive Court case .

    The people making these allegations now should be named so that people know to avoid them in the future.

  17. 17
  18. 18

    Does seem rather strange, that the Tory Party pushed this man so high. When even the most stupid MP of any Party must have known about his habits.

  19. 19
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    If you did that to a woman or a child it would be a sexual assault. So why not if the victim is a young man?

  20. 20
    just trying to help says:

    So a known shirt lifter after a few ginger beers puts his hands down the trousers of another shirt lifter.

    When they fall out the Police get called and we all end up paying for the Trial in our taxes.

  21. 21
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    He’d have got a lot higher if he had worked for the BBC.

  22. 22
    Nick Clegg says:

    I can’t wait until I’m in a Miliband government. it will be much better than with the Tories.
    For a start when I show Ed Balls some figures I wrote on the back of a fag packet he gets really excited and shouts “yeah! lets do that! let’s spend like lunatics!!”

    Not like that horrid Michael Gove who just throws the fag packet into the bin.

  23. 23
    Tony Blair is a war criminal says:

    Unbiased BBC Jane Hill reporting on the death of Bob Crow

  24. 24
    jefferson says:

    if i want to put my own hand down my own trousers its enough of an effort. i have to shift in my seat, undo a belt and button, maybe pull the fly half down. they surely let him? unless they were wearing huge baggy clown trousers and he just whipped back the elastic and shoved his hand down before they could find somewhere to put their drink?

  25. 25
    Bullingdon Bumboys says:

    Outrageous! But true.

  26. 26
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    Agree completely.

  27. 27
    Lord Rearguard says:

    Precisely. World’s gone mad.

    When I asked a dizzy filly if she wanted to see some real growth I was forced out of the party … sort of.

  28. 28
    Mark Oaten says:

    Can’t see what the fuss is.

  29. 29
    Lemonade says:

    I think Evans would do well to stop the booze!

  30. 30
    Bob Crow says:

    Mind the gap

  31. 31
    Eric Joyce says:

    Are you starting something, pal?

  32. 32
    Boy George says:

    Nothing wrong with non consensual sex.

    Except you go to prison for it.

    Which isn’t bad all at all. Nothing but drugs and bumming all day long.

  33. 33
    Loon watch says:

    Lunatic on LBC right now.

    Hugo Chavez was the greatest leader. He lifted an entire nation out of poverty..only Bob Crow was a better leader

  34. 34
    Alan Duncan, Crispin Blunt, Nigel Evans, Derek Laud, Ted Heath, Michael Portillo, Lord Boothby says:

    No poofters in our party, duckie!

  35. 35
    Naughty Nige says:

    So many arseholes, so little time.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Not the Tories who promoted him to Deputy Speaker (if that’s what you mean) but Parliament. Though still a valid point.

  37. 37
    Naughty Nige says:

    You tell them sweetie: fucking bitches all of them.

    PS any chance of some cock and bum fun? Your place or mine?

  38. 38
    Dave Cameron says:

    If Nigel Evans had been married, none of this would have happened

  39. 39
    BOB CROAK says:

    After years of stiffing “De Manigmunt”i am now a stiff

  40. 40
    Centre Parting says:

    He’s ‘not the only gay in the village’ but he is ‘a very naughty boy’.

  41. 41
    Whipp's Cross says:

    Shhhhhh. We are one of the crappiest hospitals in London.

  42. 42
    Straight man says:

    Because the alleged offence deserves a smack in the gob, not a criminal trial!

  43. 43
    BOB CROAK says:

    Breaking news Nigel Evans “in deep shit” Again

    Westminster does not discriminate ,
    be you Peado ,lesbian , gay ,necrophiliac ,zoophiliac

    Westminster welcomes you all!

  44. 44
    Morgan's Organ says:

    Its beginning to look these are the basic mandatory requirementa

  45. 45
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    The Tories knew about this before the last General Election and did nothing about it. They are no different than Clegg and his perverts.

    How many more perverts, criminals and liars are there in The HoC

    Its very easy to see now why Cameron came under so much pressure for Gay Marriage

    Always remember this man was elected to be deputy speaker when a lot of people knew he was a drunk and a pervert and on top of that he was give a standing ovation in the HoC when he stepped down as Deputy Speaker.

    Is it any wonder so few people are choosing not to vote. As lots of people have said on this site MPs just don’t get it.

  46. 46
    Chukka says:

    When you look at the number of homosexuals and lesbians in the HOC both out and closeted they must amount to over 20-ercent of the total much muchhigher than the world outside,this country is going to the dogs with this sort of behaviour it disgust me to the core.

  47. 47
    Jimmy says:

    How do you get your hands down an MP’s trousers? You start by buying him a drink.

  48. 48
    Straight man says:

    If you put your own hand down your trousers when drunk, your hand will be prosecuted.

  49. 49
    Dreary Steeples says:

    I though a smack in the the nuts would be better to send a clear and definite message, don’t go there.

  50. 50
    Surr Nob Skelpoff says:

    Nothing worse than a drunk Kween, a supposidely intelligent man, abusing his position and groping those who don’t appreciate it gay or otherwise…

  51. 51
    Graham says:

    Plenty more on the Liebour benches.Seem to remember one who posed in his underpants on a gay website.

  52. 52
    Blowing Whistles 1 says:

    The militant politicised homosexual criminal mafia are destroying this country’s parliament and – their leader is mandevilson himself.

    Their militant group have somehow obtaine more than enough dirt on more than enough high profile politicians, journos, city ceo’s – such that they are using said info to destroy what is ‘normal’ behaviour.

    And don’t for one minute think that they are not being funded in the background by some very fucked up ‘control freaks’ who are desperate to keep their hands hidden.

  53. 53
    Jimmy Saville's Ghost says:

    Neither can I.

  54. 54
    Táxpáyér says:

    Everyone (except the inner party) is now equal!

    OK no-one has anything and there’s hour long queues for basics like flour, but just think, the proles are now fully equal!

    Time for the inner party to award themselves more champers for this achievement.

  55. 55
    Straight man says:

    Chris Bryant:

  56. 56
    Táxpáyér says:

    You think the party brand is more important than The Cause(TM)?

  57. 57
    Homosexual World says:

    Is this about MPs behaviour?, A Torys behaviour? or Homosexual Behaviour? This is how homosexual behave. A person new to the scene, is seen as clean and very desirable. Evans is in homosexual character, wrong bar, wrong men. As for the alleged attacks the court will find out. You won’t like it.

  58. 58
    'Lord' Rennard says:

    I’m not gay. I am NOT gay.

  59. 59
    Felicity Blowhard says:

    Come off it Chinaman, you wat to know who they are so you can put your hand down their trousers and get away with it. We know your little game.

  60. 60
    You're missing the point says:

    This isn’t about the sex, it’s about using power to get the sex

  61. 61
    Abdul Krim's bumboi says:

    Glad you are all using the words bum and arse in this discourse,
    none of that poncey/noncey/yankee ass nonsense

  62. 62
    hamster up a pipe says:

    Nor me,

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    “Because he gets drunk? Because he is gay? Because he oversteps the mark sometimes?”
    And when you add to this the lies,stealing of taxpayers money & the general disregard for anything other than securing,as a result of their position in parliament, substantial accumulation of personal wealth for themselves, is it any wonder that the public at large have little or no respect for,or desire, to vote for them?

  64. 64
    hamster up a pipe says:

    Saw Mandelson once at a Rothchilds bash in Wing, He was wearing makeup, full works eye-liner, lpstick. Nasty little creep

  65. 65
    Bumsex Dave says:

    I really don’t see what the problem is. Why shouldn’t Nigel behave like this when he’s had a few drinks?

    He’s an ideal Conner, I really admire and adore k weers like him.

  66. 66
    Death by Bongo says:

    Q: Is there anyone in parliament who isn’t a sad perv,
    corrupt or a liar?

    A: No, and some of them are all three! Ewwwwww!

  67. 67
    Joe Public II says:

    Yep. For all your faults, at least you’re not one of Dave’s gay mates.

  68. 68
    Death by Bongo says:

    Yes, you weirdo… The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

  69. 69
    Death by Bongo says:

    The only way he would have got married is if his wife would have let him give her a good arse turking.

    Girls like that are hard to find… and I should know!

  70. 70
    Hitler says:

    “Why? Because he gets drunk? Because he is gay? Because he oversteps the mark sometimes?”

    No, simply because he’s a complete waste of the Earth’s resources.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    …Crying with laughter, probably.

  72. 72
    Harvey Proctor says:

    Who’s up for a good spanking then?

  73. 73
    DtP says:

    His career is fucked but let’s not get pious about a lonely, alcoholic, ugly gay Tory. There’s loads of folks better off than him, he just wanted some action. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. Now he is fucked – it’s a dream come true

  74. 74
    A glass house says:

    You have a good point about him being elected deputy speaker. But I don’t think you have a point about him being a sad drunken letch. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, I’m sure…

  75. 75
    Justin Poofyboots says:

    I am back. I reckon neo Guido is a hot sausage.

    I am Justin Poofyboots. I am hohohot! Come on everybody lets see you shake that bbbbbbbot! Oooh yeah you are hohohohohot!

  76. 76
    Justin Poofyboots. The AlBum. says:

    I am Justin Poofyboots and I am light on the loafers. I don’t mind these dirty gropers. I will take anything I can get unless its been put down by a vet. Ooooooo yeah!

    I am Justin Poofyboots.

  77. 77
    Eric Joyce and John Reid says:

    Och aye mon – we just prefer a good punch up when we’re pissed.

  78. 78
    Jet Stream says:

    Dirty sick ba$tard

  79. 79


  80. 80
    gildedtumbril says:

    Most NHS horsepittles are crappy. They all employ one or two Dr Shipmen to expedite the new High Speed Care Path for nonproductives (pensioners).
    Shipman lives.

  81. 81
    Keith Dovkants says:

    Put his hand down a man’s trousers?

    The pervert should have kept them in their rightful place – our pockets.

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    How did he get the gash in his forehead?

  83. 83
    Closet Wide Open says:

    So you’re saying is you’re gay?

  84. 84
    Dispassionate Observer says:

    This is trivial stuff. No case to answer on the evidence presented so far. The idea Evans could have any effect on the career of anyone who did not work directly for him is risible as anyone who has ever worked in the Commons would know. The idea of Evans forcing himself on anyone bigger than Tom Thumb is also inherently ludicrous. Case dismissed!

  85. 85
    Weegie Kiss says:

    Head-butted a spaver zipper?

  86. 86
    Norfolk's Finest says:

    Cannot unsee!


  87. 87


  88. 88
    Mr Humpfries says:

    You like talking about it though

  89. 89
    Little Johnny Bercow says:

    Lummee! And I get more than enough of that nonsense from Sally

  90. 90
    Justin pussy foots in his Poofyboots! says:

    Do you like a Banana slippers big boy?

    Never mind Evans, Bubbha will keep you well satisfied for at least 10 years.

    Nite Nite! Do not let the bed bugs bite!

  91. 91
    PC Filth says:

    In future, every pint will be prosecuted for being drunk.
    You will also be charged with being an accessory after the fact if you do not show me where said pint may be found.

  92. 92
    MacGuffin says:

    Do the allcaps mean that you’re horny?

  93. 93
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Sounds like PIE logic.

  94. 94
    H Harmskids says:

    I resemble that remark.

  95. 95
    The Public says:

    Millipede has shown his true colours and has aligned himself with Camoron and Clegg the cockroach, they all speak with one voice, its reassuring to know we have agreement.
    What a set of hunts

  96. 96
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    All candidates should have CRB check and full CV published before being allowed to stand. Is it any wonder homosexuals now have more rights than heterosexuals (no civil partnerships)

  97. 97
    john mackie says:

    Like many homosexuals (gays), he’s addicted to sex, any sex, any time, with any person, and is unrepentantly predatory about it. Despite multiple warnings.

    And now these deviants are allowed to ‘get married’.

    Only in a decaying, Godless corrupt society like ours.

  98. 98

    Arguably, true. But punching the Deputy Speaker in the face in the House of Commons might be career limiting. You’d certainly think twice about it. In any case, the problem isn’t really for blokes who can just shrug it off as ‘just Nigel’, though, even the ones who later wish they had kneed him in the nuts rather than putting him to bed and putting it down to experience; it’s the ones who were genuinely traumatised by the assault and feel violated, ashamed, etc etc. Even if there haven’t been any of those yet, if one takes the reported testimony so far entirely at face value then it will surely only be a matter of time.

  99. 99
    anti-gay conspiracy says:

    Yesterdays three alleged victims said they didn’t regard the matter as a sexual assault, and did not want the matter taken further. They tended to be rather sorry for Evans, who they regarded as (paraphrase) as having a fumbling approach and an alcohol problem.

    Today we learn a former Tory PPC took it upon himself to report the matter to the police years later.

    I wonder if the defence team will interrogate this gentleman’s motives in so doing, given that those involved did not want the matter taken further?

  100. 100
    anti-gay conspiracy says:

    Spot-on. See comment 99 below….

  101. 101
    anti-gay conspiracy says:

    Obvious’s John you’ve many gay friends? This couldn’t possibly be based on – I hesitate to mention it – nothing but the voices in your head?

    Just saying.

  102. 102
    Border Terrier says:

    Sexual preferences notwithstanding – Nigel Evans was always a nasty piece of work and the Tories of Ribble Valley [Clitheroe] were stupid to choose him as candidate.

  103. 103
    Public School Headmaster says:

    All the boys in my school get any gayness spanked out of them. That’s what parents expects for £25/yr fees

  104. 104
    Crikey says:

    Not like the God fearing societies of Nigeria and Uganda and numerous other hell holes then. You can see how well their homophobia is serving them. Strangely though the human traffic from these havens of traditional values seems to be one way? Funny that.

  105. 105
    Blind_leading_the_blind says:

    It was more civilised in the days of Anthony Crosland and Roy Jenkins

  106. 106
    Malice says:

    Will his flatmate Brian Binley be a character witness? Or Plug ugly John Hayes?

  107. 107
    duck housing: free estimates. says:

    From the testimonies, Evans sounds less of a sex offender and more like a Hunt. How on earth fo these pests get past their party’s vetting? What shite judgement all round.

  108. 108

    ‘Hands hidden’, in blokes boxer shorts, or in their trousers. Innit!

  109. 109
    strap ons says:

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