March 10th, 2014

Twitter Spat Du Jour

Have no idea what prompted this spat, Nicholas Watt is such a smoothie even if Toby Young is more abrasive. Am nevertheless giving the victory in the spat to Toby because he had some good comebacks and Watt didn’t seem to have done his homework in so much as actually reading and comprehending the central thrust of the offending article.

We report, you decide….


  1. 1
    jgm2 says:

    This plankton has 17 GCSEs?

    All grade ‘E’ I hope.

  2. 2
    Twatwatch says:

    WHO IS NICHOLAS WATT WHEN HE’S AT HOME? I heard he’s a right Hunt.

  3. 3
    Welcome to the House of Bum says:

    Will they bum?

  4. 4
    Whiffler says:

    Toby hands down.

    Old advice to Nick about holes & digging.

    What is it about people called Nick ?

  5. 5
    An adult says:

    What’s Twitter?

  6. 6
    Mr Spock says:

    Does this crap exist if there is no one there to read it?

  7. 7
    Who's Who says:

    Yet another Graun hack who appears regularly on the Beeb.

  8. 8
    I think that this is how it works says:

    GCSE’s are given away on the first Tuesday in the month.
    On that day the thickos attend (for the 3 minutes it takes to pick up their certificates).

  9. 9
    Anonymong says:

    Too make tweets make a tWatt.

  10. 10

    She still comes across as brighter than Toby Young.

  11. 11
    Looking in the mirror says:

    Who the devil is Nick?

  12. 12
    Jack de black and aint goin' back says:

    Here in Brum we bum.

  13. 13
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    Impact on this young person? She’ll be a reality TV star before the year is out.

  14. 14
    Anonymong says:

    School Report 1998:
    Nichola Swatt is a rather foolish girl. She often participates in discussions of which she has little to no comprehension of.

    Will do well within the pubic sector or amongst the mongs of media.

  15. 15
    Grade inflation says:

    More likely to be A*s. I hear you can achieve 3 or 4 gcse’s for one subject nowadays. WTF?

  16. 16
    Maxy says:

    I can help you become famous babe.
    Call me in a week ,,,,,,, no, make that 8 months.

  17. 17
    Nick says:

    When Guido told you to stick to the pithy one-liners, he made an error of judgement.

  18. 18
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    Together we can make a tiny thing grow?

  19. 19
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    None of this can be true. I suspect she got one GCSE grade 17.

  20. 20
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Check again His name is actually Nicholas Twatt ( no relation )

  21. 21
    3 incher says:

    ….but in Max’s case, not by much.

  22. 22
  23. 23
    Edukashun Edukashion Educachun says:

    We do not want winners.

  24. 24
  25. 25
    Cherry's Investment Portfolio says:

    How many died because of Toby Young’s lies, Jimmy?

  26. 26
    Nick Clegg says:


    @@@@@@ @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

    The EU

  27. 27
    jgm2 says:

    Did he take a place off an even more poorly qualified black woman?

  28. 28
    jgm2 says:

    Definitely. Jade Goody’s natural successor.

    If Max Clifford wasn’t otherwise engaged he’d be all over her right now.

  29. 29
    Delia says:

    Well that went well.

  30. 30
    White Dee says:

    No, it’s me nob head.

  31. 31
    Nick Clegg says:

    I am looking for a new Internet SpAd now. Interested?

  32. 32
    Diane Abbot says:

    How come Barraco Barner lives in the White House?

  33. 33
    Mr_Caw_Caw says:

    My dog’s got 18 GCSE’s (Go_Chase_Something_Edibles)

  34. 34
    Pith Watch says:


  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    This demonstrates the problem I have with so many in politics and local government they are unable to read what’s written and construct arguments based on facts. All they seem to do is regurgitate party dogma!

    Toby is correct to blame this on the consequence of the ill thought out educations policies of those like Shirley Williams (the idea was correct, but the implementation was a disaster), which is only now being corrected.

  36. 36
    C O (Ξ6) says:

    Not that Ed Miliband has any responsibility for the imminent start of WWIII, but just FYI:

  37. 37
    jgm2 says:

    There’s room for both of you as celebrity idiots. There’s a generational gap. White Dee could appeal to the idiot grandmothers of the underclass (aged 32+) while young Gemma could appeal to their kids and grandkids.

  38. 38
    Non-PC teacher says:

    “Fail” for Jimmy.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Her basic observation that President O’Bummer is getting involved in things that do not concern him probably makes her at least as smart as him.

  40. 40
    The British Public says:

    Who are these people? Nobody has heard of them outside the London commentariat.

  41. 41
    cigpapers says:

    She’ll probably become a Labour MP.

  42. 42
    Peter Martin says:

    I’m as interested in the new precedent of the Graun’s finest no longer tolerating sneering or humiliating individuals (aged 17 3/4 or otherwise) in any of their journalistic output.

  43. 43
    President Barraco Barner says:

    You is all misinformed

  44. 44
    Non-PC teacher says:

    No, Diane Abbot was allowed in under the lefty quota system too.

  45. 45
    Gooey Blob says:

    Watt sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder. He needs to chill out a bit, go for a beer or six and perhaps see a little more of the world. Maybe go and live in a different town or city for a year or two, perhaps even abroad. Get some perspective.

    Then when he tweets he’ll stop coming across as a sanctimonious baboon.

  46. 46
    Pith Watch says:

    Watt should just fuck right off.

  47. 47
    Non-PC teacher says:

    + millions

  48. 48
    Twatwatch says:


  49. 49
    One Eyed Scottish Idiot says:

    I wonder if anyone has told Nicholas Twatt that Young had no choice over his father, any more than anyone else does.

    He just wants to upbraid the son of a peer. The sanctimonious twunt, upset that someone else’s parents were higher achievers than his.

  50. 50
    Whiffler says:

    No, it’s an Aisle of Wite Howce

  51. 51
    The Jury. says:

    We the jury think they are two over grown skool kids who can’t read from the same page. Nick Watt- a pile of crap- should spend the rest of his life cleaning out the prison bogs for his PC bollocks or rather inventing a problem to close down the debate and make his opponent look foolish or nasty! Nice try but we aint convinced.

  52. 52
    oldbill says:

    It is difficult to know who is the most childish, Watts, Young or the commentators on here.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Is Nick Twatt gay ? Cause he always moans on like a little bitch on Sunday Politics.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    The hairdresser perchance ?

  55. 55
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    Who’s this Nicholas Watt prat?

    In effect, he’s still trotting out that “sneering at youngsters’ achievements” tripe, despite the fact that Young hasn’t done that and I’ve never heard anybody else do it either.

    Sensible people are trying to point out that youngsters are being cheated – and, by extension, their tax-paying parents and Britain itself. The young didn’t make the system we put them through, but they have to endure it and suffer from the results of it. We have failed generations of them big-time and for as long as cheaters and hypocrites like Watt keep successfully banging their drum, we’ll continue to fail them.

    Anybody who is honest only has to compare the youngsters of today with previous generations or with students from overseas to see how they are being failed. I work in a University and I can assure you that in mathematics, students in the second and third year of uni’ are doing what first-year ‘A’-level students were doing forty years ago but without the depth and rigour. Take that from the nag’s kisser. Just in case some other tit like Watt is apt to try to twist my words let me make it perfectly clear – it is not the students’ fault; it is ours for allowing the present system to continue.

  56. 56
    Al Zimmers Campbell. says:

    What year is it? Where did I hide the Gin? Watt is a Labour arsewiper & Toby’s sausages are mouldy!

  57. 57
    All about appearances says:

    I have a 159 GCSEs in Beauty. I am so qualified I can make the crack in your arse look good. Speaking of which?, they are some lefty luvvy entertainers out there who need to train their arse to talk, it is much easier on the eye. Patrick Stewart has had much success in this arse training malarky!

  58. 58
    Stewart Lee ch says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    I do not know! I am not a clucking hen mind reader!

    ©Leech off the weak comedians r us.

  59. 59
    broderick crawford says:

    which subject is that then ….. single mother pregnancies ?

    do you get a grade O(vary) every tine you drop ?

  60. 60
    Don'tplaytheracecardwithmesonny! says:

    I heartily concur! A GCSE is a hurdle that isn’t a hurdle, more a shallow ditch!

  61. 61
    Old lag MP says:

    They like to nick your money and spend it on themselves, that’s for sure.

  62. 62
    Tell it like it is says:

    In no way was ‘the idea’ correct.

    It was a bloody disgrace designed only to drag the brighter but poorer kids back down into the gutter so they didn’t vote Tory when they grew up with a decent well rounded education. Agreed the implementation was a disaster, but wtf else did you expect when it was incompetent thick-headed Labour politicians doing the implementing?

    We are now reaping the ‘benefits’ of the Williams/Crossland treachery and a couple of generations have had their futures ruined by the so-called education system

    It will take Gove and his ilk at least 30 years to correct this damage to the country.

  63. 63
    The rest of the world says:

    Oi! You can’t unload your rubbish on us you know!

  64. 64
    JJJ & Partners says:

    We seriously doubt that Blackpool’s 20 year old beautician can actually count as far as 17. Other than that it is only for the moment that we are saying no more.

  65. 65
    V for Vienetta says:


    Just because she didn’t know Barry O’barmy’s real name does not make her stupid, it just makes her less than well informed in that matter.

    And now she knows his name – but he is still a fuckwit.

  66. 66
    Same adult in previous years, probably says:

    What are computers?
    What’s writing?
    What are caves?
    What’s talking?
    ughh bananas ughhghhg?

  67. 67
    hoots ma buckey says:

    Jim’s jealous because he’s only got 4 GCSEs and they are all in the history of the labour party in scotchshire.

  68. 68
    oh well, nevermind, it was fun while it lasted says:

    No one cares about the fate of the country any more – by then it will be run by cannibal islamos and albanian gangsters and anyone trying to get educated will have acid chucked in their face

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    So the fact that he is not “our ” President or the fact that we dont have them, doesnt bother you at all ? WTF did she get 17 GCSE`s in anyway ?

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Dont make stupid comments FFS.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    “How did the ‘Barraco Barner’ beautician get 17 GCSEs?”
    Is it simply a quirk of today’s media studies? Whereby students receive easy questions from examiners. In a same way politicians benefit from a similar courtesy extended by interviewers.
    Or perhaps its merely that time of year, when the children running things would be expected to start ‘squirmishes’. Over which end up to open Easter eggs.

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    A GCSE in advanced nuclear physics won’t tell her what Obamalamadingdong’s name is.

  73. 73
    David Lammy says:

    Henry VII?

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Victory to Toby. Never heard of Nicholas Watt before. He sounds like a Hunt.

  75. 75
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    Well, I’m childish; always have been. Just look at that moniker I’ve turned up for myself. Real second form stuff.

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