March 10th, 2014

Twitter Spat Du Jour

Have no idea what prompted this spat, Nicholas Watt is such a smoothie even if Toby Young is more abrasive. Am nevertheless giving the victory in the spat to Toby because he had some good comebacks and Watt didn’t seem to have done his homework in so much as actually reading and comprehending the central thrust of the offending article.

We report, you decide….


  1. 1
    jgm2 says:

    This plankton has 17 GCSEs?

    All grade ‘E’ I hope.


  2. 2
    Twatwatch says:

    WHO IS NICHOLAS WATT WHEN HE’S AT HOME? I heard he’s a right Hunt.


    • 7
      Who's Who says:

      Yet another Graun hack who appears regularly on the Beeb.


    • 14
      Anonymong says:

      School Report 1998:
      Nichola Swatt is a rather foolish girl. She often participates in discussions of which she has little to no comprehension of.

      Will do well within the pubic sector or amongst the mongs of media.


    • 53
      Anonymous says:

      Is Nick Twatt gay ? Cause he always moans on like a little bitch on Sunday Politics.


  3. 3
    Welcome to the House of Bum says:

    Will they bum?


  4. 4
    Whiffler says:

    Toby hands down.

    Old advice to Nick about holes & digging.

    What is it about people called Nick ?


  5. 5
    An adult says:

    What’s Twitter?


    • 66
      Same adult in previous years, probably says:

      What are computers?
      What’s writing?
      What are caves?
      What’s talking?
      ughh bananas ughhghhg?


  6. 6
    Mr Spock says:

    Does this crap exist if there is no one there to read it?


  7. 8
    I think that this is how it works says:

    GCSE’s are given away on the first Tuesday in the month.
    On that day the thickos attend (for the 3 minutes it takes to pick up their certificates).


  8. 10

    She still comes across as brighter than Toby Young.


  9. 13
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    Impact on this young person? She’ll be a reality TV star before the year is out.


  10. 20
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Check again His name is actually Nicholas Twatt ( no relation )


  11. 26
    Nick Clegg says:


    @@@@@@ @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

    The EU


  12. 32
    Diane Abbot says:

    How come Barraco Barner lives in the White House?


  13. 33
    Mr_Caw_Caw says:

    My dog’s got 18 GCSE’s (Go_Chase_Something_Edibles)


  14. 35
    Anonymous says:

    This demonstrates the problem I have with so many in politics and local government they are unable to read what’s written and construct arguments based on facts. All they seem to do is regurgitate party dogma!

    Toby is correct to blame this on the consequence of the ill thought out educations policies of those like Shirley Williams (the idea was correct, but the implementation was a disaster), which is only now being corrected.


    • 47
      Non-PC teacher says:

      + millions


    • 62
      Tell it like it is says:

      In no way was ‘the idea’ correct.

      It was a bloody disgrace designed only to drag the brighter but poorer kids back down into the gutter so they didn’t vote Tory when they grew up with a decent well rounded education. Agreed the implementation was a disaster, but wtf else did you expect when it was incompetent thick-headed Labour politicians doing the implementing?

      We are now reaping the ‘benefits’ of the Williams/Crossland treachery and a couple of generations have had their futures ruined by the so-called education system

      It will take Gove and his ilk at least 30 years to correct this damage to the country.


      • 68
        oh well, nevermind, it was fun while it lasted says:

        No one cares about the fate of the country any more – by then it will be run by cannibal islamos and albanian gangsters and anyone trying to get educated will have acid chucked in their face


  15. 36
    C O (Ξ6) says:

    Not that Ed Miliband has any responsibility for the imminent start of WWIII, but just FYI:


  16. 40
    The British Public says:

    Who are these people? Nobody has heard of them outside the London commentariat.


  17. 41
    cigpapers says:

    She’ll probably become a Labour MP.


  18. 42
    Peter Martin says:

    I’m as interested in the new precedent of the Graun’s finest no longer tolerating sneering or humiliating individuals (aged 17 3/4 or otherwise) in any of their journalistic output.


  19. 42
    President Barraco Barner says:

    You is all misinformed


  20. 45
    Gooey Blob says:

    Watt sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder. He needs to chill out a bit, go for a beer or six and perhaps see a little more of the world. Maybe go and live in a different town or city for a year or two, perhaps even abroad. Get some perspective.

    Then when he tweets he’ll stop coming across as a sanctimonious baboon.


  21. 49
    One Eyed Scottish Idiot says:

    I wonder if anyone has told Nicholas Twatt that Young had no choice over his father, any more than anyone else does.

    He just wants to upbraid the son of a peer. The sanctimonious twunt, upset that someone else’s parents were higher achievers than his.


  22. 51
    The Jury. says:

    We the jury think they are two over grown skool kids who can’t read from the same page. Nick Watt- a pile of crap- should spend the rest of his life cleaning out the prison bogs for his PC bollocks or rather inventing a problem to close down the debate and make his opponent look foolish or nasty! Nice try but we aint convinced.


  23. 52
    oldbill says:

    It is difficult to know who is the most childish, Watts, Young or the commentators on here.


  24. 55
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    Who’s this Nicholas Watt prat?

    In effect, he’s still trotting out that “sneering at youngsters’ achievements” tripe, despite the fact that Young hasn’t done that and I’ve never heard anybody else do it either.

    Sensible people are trying to point out that youngsters are being cheated – and, by extension, their tax-paying parents and Britain itself. The young didn’t make the system we put them through, but they have to endure it and suffer from the results of it. We have failed generations of them big-time and for as long as cheaters and hypocrites like Watt keep successfully banging their drum, we’ll continue to fail them.

    Anybody who is honest only has to compare the youngsters of today with previous generations or with students from overseas to see how they are being failed. I work in a University and I can assure you that in mathematics, students in the second and third year of uni’ are doing what first-year ‘A’-level students were doing forty years ago but without the depth and rigour. Take that from the nag’s kisser. Just in case some other tit like Watt is apt to try to twist my words let me make it perfectly clear – it is not the students’ fault; it is ours for allowing the present system to continue.


    • 60
      Don'tplaytheracecardwithmesonny! says:

      I heartily concur! A GCSE is a hurdle that isn’t a hurdle, more a shallow ditch!


  25. 56
    Al Zimmers Campbell. says:

    What year is it? Where did I hide the Gin? Watt is a Labour arsewiper & Toby’s sausages are mouldy!


  26. 57
    All about appearances says:

    I have a 159 GCSEs in Beauty. I am so qualified I can make the crack in your arse look good. Speaking of which?, they are some lefty luvvy entertainers out there who need to train their arse to talk, it is much easier on the eye. Patrick Stewart has had much success in this arse training malarky!


  27. 58
    Stewart Lee ch says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    I do not know! I am not a clucking hen mind reader!

    ©Leech off the weak comedians r us.


  28. 71
    Anonymous says:

    “How did the ‘Barraco Barner’ beautician get 17 GCSEs?”
    Is it simply a quirk of today’s media studies? Whereby students receive easy questions from examiners. In a same way politicians benefit from a similar courtesy extended by interviewers.
    Or perhaps its merely that time of year, when the children running things would be expected to start ‘squirmishes’. Over which end up to open Easter eggs.


  29. 73
    David Lammy says:

    Henry VII?


  30. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Victory to Toby. Never heard of Nicholas Watt before. He sounds like a Hunt.


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