March 5th, 2014

Guy News Special: BBC Three’s Greatest Hits


  1. 1
    Ah! says:


  2. 2
    BBC says:

    Doing this saves the license payer from having to find more money to fund the £400k compromise agreements of the janitors and cleaners we are having to let go.

  3. 3
    Ollie says:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  4. 4
    Reader says:

    Sell the channel and let it sell advertising or put it on a pay per view channel of some kind.

    In fact, lets abolish the licence fee and do that to all the BBC TV channels.

  5. 5
    Marcus Brigstock says:

    Laugh. All the way to the bank like me.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Ed Miliband says:

    Young people need to rise up, vote Labour and we’ll deliver them all of the entertainment they need, to ensure they don’t have to think again.

    Labour – we’ll look after you and make sure everything you say and do is just right.

  8. 8
    Russel Kane-Howard says:

    I owned this channel LOL!!!!!!

  9. 9
    Liar.Politicians says:

    Good riddance to shit, and should be axed from online too, stop pissing money up a wall on crap.

  10. 10
    BBC says:

    . . . . but all the more money for us.

  11. 11
    wanking says:

    “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need (French: De chacun selon ses moyens, à chacun selon ses besoins.; German: Jeder nach seinen Fähigkeiten, jedem nach seinen Bedürfnissen!) is a slogan first used by Louis Blanc in 1851 and popularised by Karl Marx in his 1875 Critique of the Gotha Program”

    Is tapping away on twitter the best you can do Owen Jones?

  12. 12
    Dorian Smith says:

    Might as well cull the thousands of journalists, took them ages to discover #PIEgate.

  13. 13
    Harbottle says:

    Breeding ground for comedy talent? STDs more like.

  14. 14
    banking says:

    “Matt Lucas said the move would be “really bad for new comedy”.

    pay for it yourself then fatty, i think you are shit

  15. 15
    BBC Four says:

    Will I need to rebrand?

  16. 16
    Seth MacFarlane says:

    Goddammit, that’s a ton of royalties I’m gonna lose now.

  17. 17
    broderick crawford says:

    Agreed , and why keep the online version ??

    Totally axe the retarded chav cretinous drivel that is bbc three.

    and what of bbc four ? at keast it us not retarded but its boring schedules do induce migadon – like deep sleep.

    Get all the excellent scandinavian /continental crine shows transferred to bbc one or two
    ….. then abolish bbc 4 also .

    niw … what about cbeebies ….and radio one extra not to nention radio four long wave …..

  18. 18
    timgoneglobal says:

    What were they thinking?
    Ah, they weren’t thinking at all. Unless driven by some grotesque urge to engage with popular taste, as viewed from a wine bar in one of the better parts of Acton.

  19. 19
    aurora borealis says:

    when I think of ‘bbc comedy’ I think of jonathonross and that bearded fool who thinks he’s a revolutionary – sorry I forget his name – but any of them are hardly funny so I suspect this channel is not going to be much missed.

  20. 20
    The Critic says:

    Ah a true leader

    ‘It is something of a turnaround for Lord Hall, who said in October: “I wouldn’t consider closing a channel”.

    Just banishing it to obscurity instead. Better than it deserves though

  21. 21
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

  22. 22
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Well, obviously, telling people how to avoid spreading STDs or suffering infertility isn’t the job of a public service broadcaster. More game shows, please!

  23. 23
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

  24. 24
    chris says:

    Do people still watch BBC content?

  25. 25
    Sir William Wayde says:

    ….although St Luke got there first, in Acts 4:32-35.

  26. 26
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    I get it ALL online now anyway….what am I talking about I can’t recall watching BB3 – ever. It’s for kids and sub human teenies isn’t it?

  27. 27
    Ed 'the Soviet bear' Miliband says:

    Itth a cotht of BBC cwithith.

  28. 28
    Hang 'em High, - REALLY High (own piano wire supplied) says:

    In the (temporary) absence of the excellent ‘Drop a DC on the BBC’, I offer help in any way I can.

  29. 29
    Tellytaxpayer says:

    I watch it discontent.

  30. 30
    Shooty* says:

    Yay! Do the Asian Network next! And 1Xtra!

  31. 31
    lolwut says:

    You talk like you think the license fee will go down as a result

    You’ll just be paying the same amount for less choice

  32. 32
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Grow a pair and stop paying the telly tax.

    I haven’t paid it for 9 years.

    I still get the odd letter addressed to “The Legal Occupier”, but as i know of no such person i burn them in the fireplace :-)

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    There’s a BBC3? Who knew?

  34. 34
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    I say Old Chap!!! – one holds that the BliarBrown Bullshit Channel is dashed good value!

  35. 35
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Only if you’re a spineless cretin who still pays it.

  36. 36
    Reconstruct says:

    One down, three to go.

  37. 37
    By-Passer 1017 says:

    + 1000

  38. 38
    Sid Viscous says:

    That’s the longest 66 seconds I’ve ever lived through.

    Vote UKIP.

  39. 39
    Daffyd Thomas says:

    At the BBC there is no chance of being the only gay in the village.

  40. 40
    Marcus Brigstock says:

    No, I talk like some pretentious champagne socialist comedian who now he has made his money doesn’t care a jot for anyone else.


  41. 41
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

  42. 42
    Occupy Movement says:

    Free the BBC3

  43. 43
    Jimmy says:

    It was still better than shITV though.

  44. 44
    Jimmy Savile says:

    I always had it on when the girls came around.

  45. 45
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    So Labour are going down the same eco-loony tax bombshell route the Lib Dems are:

    Vote Lib/Lab for higher petrol prices

    Vote Lib/Lab for higher electricity and gas bills

    Vote Lib/Lab for higher council tax

    Vote Lib/Lab for higher income tax

    Bye bye Lib/Lab :-)

  46. 46
    Jimmy Savile says:

    I always got an annual rebate from Aunty Beeb.

  47. 47
    altruism in industry says:

    the actual technical costs must have gone down tremendously in the last decade or so what with the communications and excellent software available so presumably they can do a lot more now for the same money ?

  48. 48
    The Ebay page of Sarah and Gordoom McBrown says:

    For sale

    House of Commons security pass. 2014
    Hardly used.


  49. 49
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    I just cannot understand why people begrudge paying the TV licence fee. The amount of content the BBC puts out, from TV to radio to online, news, documentaries, entertainment, music, the list is endless. And all advert-free. The latter is worth £12 a month on its own. Contrast this with the mind-numbing tripe that ITV puts out. Cowell-shite, Jungle-shite, Keith Lemon shite, Scam competitions all fucking day long etc etc. The BBC shelters us from this garbage.

    The £12 a month is phenomenal value for money. It could not be done unless everyone subscribed. If the way it is financed could be construed as ‘socialist’ then it just goes to show what can be done when the state, instead of private enterprise, works for the common good rather than profit.

    We can learn a lot from the way the BBC is constituted. Long may it continue.

  50. 50
    Steve Jobs says:

    So the BBC is now the exact opposite of modern technology.

    All modern technology maintains a steady price year on year with subsequent iterations offerings better/faster/shinier etc

    What do the BBC do? – Payoff a load of execs with vast quantities of dosh, spend thousands avoiding CAGW FOI requests, Employ an underworked Fatty Pang, and remove a channel that no-one but cheroot smoking, yurt living, Guardian readers have ever heard of.

  51. 51
    Melons galore says:

    What do you have against boobs, Guido? Are you part of the Anti-Sex League?

  52. 52
    Reader says:

    It’s OK for Family Guy and American Dad.

  53. 53
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Yeah, right. Drop into Specsavers on your way to the Jobcentre tomorrow. They’ll adjust those rose-tinted specs for you.

  54. 54
    UKIP or bust says:

    Family Guy a ‘FOX’ (arghhh) cartoon was the only goodthing about it

  55. 55
    Doogie Howser, M.D. says:

    Your meds are ready Mr Koussa

  56. 56
    Hatty Harman says:

    The BBC may never find the next Jimmy Savile.

  57. 57
    Edna in Clapham says:

    Modern quasi socialist Britain for you:

    No morals
    No ethics
    No education
    No shame
    No integrity
    No backbone

    ….and the promotion of idiots, losers and sufferers of NPD

    What a mess!

    I blame Maggie for closing down all the mental institutions in the 80s. The ex inmates have taken over. So much for care in the community.

    Anyway, that’s what BBC3 represents so good riddance.

    Do I get a reduction in the licence fee?

  58. 58
    The BBC are cunts says:

    In one. :)

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    If I’d known there were tits on that channel I might have watched it.

  60. 60
    Fatty Pang says:


  61. 61
    Mad Puking says:

    BBC is full of poofs.

  62. 62
    Larry LowTax says:

    One down 7 to go.

    BBC 2
    BBC 1
    BBC 4
    BBC News

  63. 63
    UKIP or bust says:

    Don’t get too excited rumour is they are starting a Gay channel!

    Nah, only joking.

  64. 64
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    He’s beyond Specsavers help, he should apply for a guide dog :-)

  65. 65
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Nah, it’s just a webcam in the bogs at broadcasting house.

  66. 66
    Steve Hewlett says:

    Come on BBC – tell me what to say!

  67. 67
    Tuppence for the guy (rapid inflationary pressures...) says:

    You are preaching to the converted mate.

  68. 68
    Bill Quango MP says:

    BBC 3 uses the Cbeebies channel, which switches off at 7pm when the toddlers go to bed.

    So CBeebies not transmitting must still attract more viewers then BBc 3 on air.
    No real surprise.

  69. 69
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:


  70. 70
    Larry LowTax says:

    Terrible. How did the BBC make comedy before BBC3 was invented?

  71. 71
    Tuppence for the guy (rapid inflationary pressures...) says:

    You forgot the 400,000 local stations pal.

  72. 72
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Quite right Ed.

    You should be calling on the government to axe the telly tax to ease the cotht of wiving cwithith on the poor and squeezed middle :-)

  73. 73
    Mad Puking says:

    Then the BBC will die.

    Great idea, but thatcher failed to sell it off ?

  74. 74
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’ll have it off you. But can I buy it after I’ve lost my deposit next year?

  75. 75
    Harriet the hariddan from hell says:

    Can you please explain that a little more clearly – I don’t quite understand what you are saying and I want to.

  76. 76
    Bill Quango MP says:

    BBC 3 is a channel for students, teenagers, drop outs, the stoned , the drunk, the easily amused or trendy teachers who went to try and appear down with the kids.

    BBC 4 is the one that no-one but cheroot smoking, yurt living, Guardian readers have ever heard of.

  77. 77
    Tuppence for the guy (rapid inflationary pressures...) says:

    Not gay, mozzie… Al Hijrah offshoot.

  78. 78
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Miliband should be calling on the government to axe the telly tax to ease the cotht of wiving cwithith on the poor and squeezed middle :-)

  79. 79
    Voice of reason says:

    Quasi socialist? – It IS socialist, not pretend.

  80. 80
    UKIP or bust says:

    Cue angry socialist Jon Snow in rainbow colour stockings with matching headscarf-tie and £3500 Savile Row suite standing in a dried up water hole with his decrepit old face all wrinkled up sneering and spluttering that the Tories have caused hose pipe ban’s with their cuts.

  81. 81
    David Cameron says:

    Can I get that on iPlayer as well ?

  82. 82
    Falk that sh*t says:

    You should watch the Revolution will be televised, there are plenty of tits on there

  83. 83
    Piss-poor Comedian says:

    Not surprising considering they failed to find the first one.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Blimey! I had no idea 3 was that good!

  85. 85
  86. 86
    Melons galore says:


  87. 87
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I can’t see how putting it online only will save much: most of a channel’s costs are incurred in commissioning and creating content.

    Still, if these Slebs are so concerned about it, they can take a fucking pay cut to save it.

  88. 88
    Mass Puking says:

    Same as the Con-Dums then.

  89. 89
    Dawn French says:

    I’m fat and I like making jokes about being fat and proud! And i’m really funny!

  90. 90
    altruism in industry says:

    I think he is warning of the dangers of broadcast subliminal messages, tuned to the infant’s brain waves, sent over the static when the broadcast ends, when junior is asleep.

  91. 91
    Harriet the hariddan from hell says:


  92. 92
    Harriet the hariddan from hell says:

    Still don’t get it.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    A management buyout perhaps, or how about the jokers on it buy it and pay for it with pay per view? No? thought not!

  94. 94
    BBC DG says:

    That’s ‘right’, we didn’t ‘find’ the first one *

    ‘ are used in the same sense that Tony Bliar suggested – A ‘hutton’ style inquiry

  95. 95
    Edna in Clapham says:

    Of course. Two dry sherries and verbosity takes over. I should have never have used the word quasi – don’t know what I was thinking about.

    Anyway, the blue marxist Cameron supports all this left wing/PC cr*p and I hate him. He’s spineless.

  96. 96
    David Cameron says:

    Sweet. Can I get this film on Netflix, uncut and on expenses ?

  97. 97
    Mong Watch says:

    I see your problem. You have never watched BBC3. :-)

  98. 98
    Bill Quango MP says:

    BBC 3 and BBC 4 use the Cbeebies and Cbbc digital channel when those kids channels go off air at 7pm.

  99. 99
    Harriet the hariddan from hell says:

    I’ll ask Jack and send you a text

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    What about BBC Asian radio. Muzzie shit shut it down also.

  101. 101
    Ichabod says:

    I wish the BBC would close down RADIO 3 as well. The endless broadcasting of Ravel (( who gets his own special day this Friday) and Debussy; the ghastly presenters ( epecially the females, i’m afraid) ; the persistent chat and trailers have rendered the station all too avoidable.

  102. 102
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Continue reading the main story
    BBC TV channel budgets 2013/14

    BBC One: £1,051m
    BBC Two: £415m
    BBC Three: £85m
    BBC Four: £49m
    CBBC: £79m
    CBeebies: £29m
    BBC News Channel: £53m
    BBC Parliament: £2m

    The channel’s service budget was £85m in 2013/14 – although moving the channel online would not eradicate those costs entirely.

    Since its launch in 2003, BBC Three has been the birthplace of numerous ratings successes, including Little Britain, Torchwood, Being Human and Gavin and Stacey.
    Any of those shows could and eventually did, fit comfortably on BBC2 or BBC1.

  103. 103
    A Fine Pair of Lungs and I can prove IT! says:

    Ha ha ha! Utter shite anayway.Channel 4 will s-punk in celebration.

  104. 104
    A 95 year old on crack says:

    So I have to watch My Big Fat Teenage Ingrown Toenail on C(rap)4? and endlessly repeated on B(og)4. Super!

  105. 105
  106. 106
    Expat Geordie says:

    Bluestone 42 is quite good, which should find a home on the BBC1 Mrs Brown’s Boys slot. Other than that though, you’re right.

  107. 107
    Officer Dibble says:

    Won’t there be a gap now? Will BBC2 and BBC4 fall into it?

    Didn’t the BBC do this with Radio 6? Pretend to axe it, wait for the twitter campaign, reprieve it, and get loads of free publicity?

  108. 108
    Giggler says:

    Unfunny slaphead faux-luvvie. Stick with Les Mis.

  109. 109
    Jack Ketch says:

    He is about as funny as syphilis.

  110. 110
    Expat Geordie says:

    Little Britain was “born” on Radio 4, and it was shit there. Watched it a couple of times on BBC3 and found it to be even more shit than the Radio 4 version. In fact there was a perfect phrase to describe “Little Britain” – “Witness the Shitness!”

  111. 111
    Jack Ketch says:

    There is a channel shown on overseas cable and satellite called “BBC Prime” that is almost non-stop BBC classics, Thin Blue Line, Steptoe, Fawlty Towers, various Rommie Barkers, Abfab and so on. Send a day watching that stuff and reaslise what ABSOLUTE SHITE is now produced.

  112. 112
    Jack Ketch says:

    Hotel Suite or Lounge Suite?

  113. 113
    Spartacus says:

    like it!

  114. 114
    Tax, Tax, Tax says:

    may be a homosexual channel ?

  115. 115
    Sue know what I'm talking about says:

    What! did he laugh his cock off?

  116. 116
    Jack Ketch says:

    It does not take much of brain cell to work out that with an all-digital service that “experimental” or niche programming could move to “pay-for-view” together with some sporting events (to promote revenue). The problem is that Pay-per-view or subscription would not allow the BBC to promote crud that no one else wanted except the poufs and bolsheviks who are rimming the mates that they want to promote.

  117. 117
    mraemiller says:

    It seems today
    That all you see
    is programs that are purchased from US TV
    but where are all those old fashion channels
    on which we used to rely?

  118. 118
    OED says:

    “Hits” is misspelled.

  119. 119
    Good value, the rest is waste says:

    BBC Parliament is the only one I watch regularly these days.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    American Dad and Family Guy the only things worth watching on BBC3. Perhaps they could go back to BBC2 where they were first shown.

  121. 121
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Came round what?

  122. 122
    Lenny Henry says:

    Yeah and I got so fed up with being smothered I jacked you in.

  123. 123
    Gawk W@nk's Fashion Tips on Crap4 and endlessly repeated on Bore4 says:

    If you want silly cows of all ages to get their titties out? Pretend you are gay. Gullible!

  124. 124
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Never mind “second” whatever became of the Third Programme? Required listening when I was a bt younger. as it scrapped as being too upmarket? Or have I missed something, having neither a radio nor a TV?

  125. 125
    Rabid dribbler says:

    There are no better parts of Acton …

  126. 126
    Rabid dribbler says:

    Everyone knows the license fee is to cover the privilege of owning a TV, just so happens those monies are given to the corporation…

    It’s Westminster’s fault!!!

  127. 127
    lost socialists assoc says:

    agree boring fucks

  128. 128
    lost socialists assoc says:

    as a channel it makes sense and as long its accessible online not a problem

  129. 129

    Tried to copy classical fm. Made the usual fuck-up when a socialist construct mimics a successful free-enterprise operation.

  130. 130

    don’t forget you’re getting the best of 50 years of trying. In every cubic yard of dross you’ll find a gold nugget – the HoC excepted.

  131. 131

    How long does it take to say. “keep your cock in your trousers or an aspirin between your knees”?

  132. 132
    Aparat says:

    Yeah, pretend to axe 6Music, 1xtra and top-notch U.S. dramas, supposedly to show they understood concerns about waste of tax-payers’ money and the scope of the BBC‘s reach, but choosing remedies that, strangely, happened to fall within the remit of ‘public-service broadcasting’. Cue lots of wailing and a reprieve for all three and, surprise, surprise, no cut in spending or output. Another campaign seen off.

    Anyway, if it is to be only broadcast online, BBC 3 still has to be produced, so tax-payers’ cash is still to be squandered. The only savings are the Freeview, Sky, etc., broadcast costs. Piffling.

    And all of this, of course, comes from Mr. Patten’s place-man – a man to bring forth a new era of responsible broadcasting and a return to the public service ethos.

    Scrap the telly tax!

  133. 133
    Ann Frank's Drum-kit says:

    BBC 3 is shite – Bring back Underwater Bicycle Polo I say.

  134. 134
    Jimmy Savile, Hell says:

    Just in case anyone was fooled into thinking that is as low as the BBC has sunk.

  135. 135
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Yes from cradle to grave with endless poverty in between.

  136. 136
    Patrick Rock says:

    For me, it is pictures of boys an girls. But no one within the Tory Party admitted to knowing my problem.

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    Are you talking about the US backed tits and their failed Color Revolt? Check out YouTube: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

  138. 138
    Too Thick To Stay On Topic says:

    Save The Rhino!

  139. 139
    Taffy Jones says:

    Not forgetting the £83 million that we pay for the Welsh language channel S4C. Many of their programmes achieve ZERO viewers yet the spending goes on. Can you spare a couple of bob for our Health Service please? Heart patients are dying for the want of treatment but at least all of the hospital signs are in Welsh. Blethyn garw ar y bymtheg, innit?

  140. 140
    thostids says:

    No. That’s leprosy.

  141. 141
    Nautius Maximus says:

    The Romans knew how to cure socialism.

    Nail some sense into ‘em.

  142. 142
    Scrap the licence fee to set us free says:

    One channel down

    still many to go

  143. 143
    maybe it's some kind of low security prison? says:

    BBC is full of arse-bandits, marxists and p#dos

  144. 144
    money for old marxists says:

    The BBC needs £100,000 of tax-payer money per year, just to fund their pension gap.

  145. 145
    money for old marxists says:

    R3 was caught between the rock of being called elitist by the bbc marxists, and the hard place of, as you say, trying to mimic the free market.

  146. 146
    Putin on the Ritz says:

    With only the annual Thatcher-Dead fest to look forward to.

  147. 147
    That unfunny teenager, Russel something off MTW who used to suck up to Frankie Boyle says:

    No, I owned it!

  148. 148
    Bye Bye BBC, BBC Bye Bye says:

    No room on BBC 2 now, it’s wall-to-wall repeats of Dad’s Army, Mock the Week and docu-dramas about Afro-Lesbians and FGM awareness programmes.

  149. 149
    Bye Bye BBC, BBC Bye Bye says:

    Not to mention Radios 1..n where n is far too many.

  150. 150
    Bye Bye BBC, BBC Bye Bye says:

    Watch Newsnight – nothing but tits all year round.

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    How does one receive the BBC you describe? You are not the only one to say this.
    However, when I turn on my TV and select BBC, it is full of soaps, game shows, trashy celeb vehicles and football.

  152. 152
    JH45980923-095 says:

    I barely ever watch broadcast TV. I can honestly say that if I divide the cost of a TV license by the total duration of BBC programming I can actually bear to watch – maybe something like ‘Secret history of our streets’ – over the typical TV year, I would be paying about a tenner and hour. Not good value for money, is it?

    Thank god I don’t have a TV license. It’s a shame because there is simply brilliant television being made. Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, True Detective, Mad Men – why can’t the BBC make something this good, given its massive unconditional resources? I am damned if I will pay the BBC to watch these on a television I own, in a house I own.

    Padding out the schedule with BBC3/4 crap, and endless repeats of said crap, doesn’t change a thing. “Mrs Brown’s Boys” has a prime time slot on BBC1. I rest my case.

    You should only supposedly ‘need’ a TV license if you watch BBC programmes. Not paying for one should be a civil, not criminal offense.

    Put the fuckers on a subscription model, and just watch their little Metropolitan Liberal bullshit blow up in their faces.

  153. 153
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    Not to mention smug leftie ‘comedians’. BBC 3 is full of self indulgent crap, just the sort of thing you would expect of anything approved by Tessa Jowell, as she was telling us on Newsnight last night.

  154. 154
    olden1936 says:

    BBC3 to be scrapped? Good thing too, but where will the hordes of desperately un-talented would-be celebrities practice their witty-less efforts at humour, and their ongoing demolition of the English language, like totally, you know what I mean, innit? On BBC 2 or BBC4? My only worry as one tottering onwards without an I-player, is where will we view the American series, Family Guy?

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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