March 4th, 2014

SKETCH: Peter Tapsell Remembers His Time as Eden’s PPS

Students of unintended consequences will thoroughly enjoy the new Crimean War – it can be blamed on the European Union.

Peter Tapsell made a decent start today, attacking the organisation that draws its self-esteem from having kept the peace in Europe for 50 years.

He suggested that “the already over-enlarged Union” was “trying to extend its boundaries to Mongolia” and that would result “in a third world war.”

People laugh at Tapsell because he was a personal assistant to Anthony Eden during Suez – around the time the Crimea was handed over to the Ukraine. That isn’t history for Tapsell, it’s current events.

People talk about the “inviolability of Ukraine’s borders”, the treaties, declarations and accords that councils and supra-nationals have put together.

But Tapsell says, “Every Russian knows the capture of the Crimea was the greatest achievement of Catherine the Great – that’s why she was called the Great!

“No Russian government could ever give up Sebastapol, and the Russian people are passionately in support of President Putin.”

That has more explanatory power than a treaty signed in 1954, and an inky Memorandum issued from Budapest.

Ian Austin suggested a search party be sent out to look for backbone in Europe’s governments. Never had there been a time when the West was less inclined to defend it values, he said and called Putin a “KGB thug”.  High praise from Ian Austin.

The plan seems to be a calm, united, reasonable response. A “graduated hierarchy of costs and consequences.”

Wish them luck. The Russian president poses shirtless on horseback. He makes George Bush look like Barack Obama.

Hague said consequences would include no officials going to Sochi for the Paralympics and possibly suspending Russia from the G8.

Putin will live with a suspension from the G8. He might just come along anyway. With tanks.

Labour’s Douglas Alexander didn’t try to link the invasion of the Crimea to the cost of living crisis facing this country. This was prudent. If war causes a spike in energy prices, it will play havoc with Miliband’s 20-month price freeze.

If the Labour noodle is prime minister, that might even cause World War Four.


  1. 1
    Chelsea are Winners says:

    Chelsea for the premiership


    • 7
      Gordon Brown says:

      I am sending in Owen Jones to sort it out


    • 20
      Corridor of Uncertainty says:

      I’m blaming Gordon Brown, he was duped into choosing to appoint the EU High Foreign Rep, rather than a Financial Commissioner. He picked the Baroness Ashton, sound from a labour POV, but woefully underqualified from any other standpoint. She then steams into Kiev to negotiate all sorts of measures to bring them closer to the EU, totally unsuitable for Ukraine and highly controversial to the Russians and the rest is about to be history. Another triumph for Gordon then.


      • 26
        The Wisdom of Crowds says:

        Yet more proof, if any is neeeded, of the necessity for the people of Europe to either have an elected commission in order to find the right talent for the job or for us to abandon this lacklustre and unaccountable institution altogether


        • 39
          The Public says:

          We elected Cameron (almost) and you want to trust us with a bigger plonker?


        • 51

          You missed out corrupt, undemocratic, and Breznhevian.


          • Quiet Bat Person says:

            Thank God GCHQ and the NSA have collected photos of everyones penises from video chatrooms. The intelligence gathered enabled NATO to anticipate and repel the Russian invasion. Money well spent on intelligence at it’s best.


    • 79
      TonyK says:

      What are we supposed to make of these juvenile posts? Is it possible to make a serious contribution on this website?


      • 82
        Why would you bother says:

        This blog is just a collection of saddos with no power or influence, talking to each other. But at least we have enough insight to know that.

        However, in a parallel universe, some of us (e.g., Cat) could be running the country.


      • 87
        Cameron is a liar says:

        Only if you have a big enough willy.


  2. 2
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Tapsell has nailed it and clearly understands what both the US and UK are too stupid and blinded by liberal hogwash to see. The Ukraine is fucked and there is nothing that the EU or the US are going to be able to do about it, not in the real world anyway.


    • 15
      Genghis Khan says:

      Our conquering army governing the russkies and arabs still rule. Still so much more to do after 50 and 500 years respectively are non adventure.
      On to your horses and go to war.


      • 73
        broderick crawford says:

        well… the west could always make a film about it .

        Three blindly patriotic ex marines turned mercenaries are hired secretly by US and EU to singlehandedly enter Sevastopol and revenge the ignominy of Balaclava . By dint of their fanatical courage and experience they overcome the 150 thousand Soviet troops , kidnap Putin and do not release him until Medvedev signs a no belligerence agreement with Yulia Timoshenko with whom ,during the negotiations , he falls in love and marries .
        the world lives happily ever after…..

        The three heroes to be played by Steven Seagall , Sly Stallone and Jason Statham to give it a pan Atlantic box office appeal .

        If they show the film often enough as the 9 pm blockbuster on Film 4 people will in the end be convinced if its truth .


  3. 3
    He's my MP says:

    Good for you Peter


  4. 4
    A minimum of common sense, please says:

    Finnish Solution

    Problem solved


    • 38
      Socialism = Starvation says:

      This was Finland’s solution to a Soviet invasion, one man, Simo Hayha, shot over 700 Soviet troops by sniping and ambushing, helped to get them good terms rather than get exterminated.


      • 46
        Mr Putin fomerly of the KGB says:

        Yes true, but in the end the Allies handed Finland to us to do as wanted, it was simply that we wanted them non-aligned. You assume we are concerned about casualties, there are always more men to follow those killed.


        • 70
          Socialism= Starvation says:

          The US did not declare war on Finland, unlike New Zealand the UK, and other Dominions, and it made sure that Finland remained barely free.

          The Soviets did care about casualties to the extent that if all their troops died, including the NKVD blocking detachments, they could not carry out any more Terror.


      • 74
        Dreary Steeples says:

        Great story,thanks.


  5. 5
    Maybe there is someone with some sense in the HoC...maybe it comes with age and experience says:

    Hear, fucking hear!


  6. 6
    Spend Spend Spend says:


    • 23
      C.O.Jones says:

      During Labour’s reign of terror they feted their strongholds of support. So much so that even public sector jobs were relocated to these areas.

      That histogram would need to see a red line heading much further south to level the playing field.


    • 25
      JH-23091238459023 says:

      Errr, maybe that is because Labour spend like drunken sailors to begin with?

      Not to insult drunken sailors, they tend to get good & services they actually want in return for their money.


    • 41
      Moddy botted again says:

      The Tories try to correct the Local Authority spending allocations that were gerrymandered by Labour, and it becomes political

      The Tories try to correct the imbalance in education spending across the country, that was gerrymandered by Labour, and it becomes political

      The Tories try to correct the imbalance in constituency sizes that was gerrymandered by Labour, and it becomes political

      The Tories try to correct the Quango appointments that were gerrymandered by Labour, and it becomes political

      There’s a pattern emerging here


  7. 8
    Anonymous says:

    How could Mr Tapsell have been PPS to Eden when he wasn’t elected until 1959. Wasn’t Suez in ’57?


    • 49
      Summer of 56 says:

      56 actually bit of a year that one! What with Suez and the Hungarian uprising (that went well for a people trying throw off Vlad’s rule)!


      • 75
        broderick crawford says:

        God that was good going …..

        I believe Vlad was still sucking on mum s teat in 56

        And he was already President of the USSR !!!!???


    • 81
      Gary Bloke says:

      What Who’s Who records is that Sir Peter Tapsell was “Personal Asst to Prime Minister (Anthony Eden) during 1955 General Election Campaign”. There is no mention of his having been a PPS.


  8. 9
    Keitho says:

    They have obviously been listening to my blogs.



  9. 10
    MB. says:

    Didn’t the collapse of Yugoslavia and subsequent wars, all start with EU (or whatever they called themselves at that time) meddling?

    I am sure I remember the EU encouraging one of the states to break away from Yugoslavia and it all then got out of control.


    • 31
      Socialism = Starvation says:

      Slovenia made a clean break, recognised by Germany immediately, and after a few skirmishes the JNA left, but there were almost no Serbs etc. in Slovenia to ‘protect’. It all got messy with Croatia and then Bosnia-Herzegovina breaking away for a 3-cornered fight.

      But why should Slovenia have stayed in a Commie craphole?


      • 53
        Col. Stok says:

        And now they are all such EU centres of growth and opportunity that none of their citizens want to live in you land? Very funny at least we know how to control scum, you let them in and give them money!


      • 68
        roger says:

        I hope that you remember the history of Britain and Finland, 1939 supporting words but no action , no declaration of war on Russia when it invaded Poland, then declared war on Finland in 1941.
        Do not trust the British government one inch on Ukraine.


      • 69
        roger says:

        Ukraine is mixed like Bosnia, Slovenia wasn’t.


    • 76
      broderick crawford says:

      they called themselves the EC then i e European CockUp

      Now they re EU = European UnmitigatedDisaster


  10. 11
    Don't be vague, ask for Hague says:

    Get your tank off my dick



    • 77
      broderick crawford says:


      I ll put my cock on whomsoever s lawn or dick i wish to .

      you little young bald inexperienced whippersnapper.


  11. 12
    EU to me says:

    Didn’t realise he was still around, but he’s right, if we stay in the EU , we will end up being in a war, this time the people of Britain are so much a mixture of many countries now, it could end up in a civil war as well, the EU is a warmonger.


    • 43
      The Elders of Zion says:

      But which tribe devised the laws to “make Britain so much of a mixture”?

      Who were those that campaigned and then legislated on the equalitarian agenda? Be careful when considering this as much of it came from the US. They also enlisted many “useful idiots” and those from other “down-trodden” minorities. Think women’s liberation, gay liberation and the useful idiots that made up the NCCL in the 60s and 70s.

      They tend to enlist them when they are young and “stupid”. Think of the likes of Owen Jones etc.

      Politics can be a dirty game.


      • 90
        Seymour says:

        August 04, 2013, Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, addressed the Duma, (Russian Parliament), and gave a speech about the tensions with minorities in Russia:
        In Russia, live like Russians.

        Any minority, from anywhere, if it wants to live in Russia, to work and eat in Russia, it should speak Russian, and should respect the Russian laws.
        If they prefer Sharia Law, and live the life of Muslim’s then we advise them to go to those places where that’s the state law.
        Russia does not need Muslim minorities.
        Minorities need Russia, and we will not grant them special privileges, or try to change our laws to fit their desires, no matter how loud they yell ‘discrimination’.
        We will not tolerate disrespect of our Russian culture.
        We better learn from the suicides of America, England, Holland and France, if we are to survive as a nation.
        The Muslims are taking over those countries they will not take over Russia.
        The Russian customs and traditions are not compatible with the lack of culture or the primitive ways of Sharia Law and The Russian customs and traditions are not compatible with the lack of culture or the primitive ways of Sharia Law and Muslims.
        When this honourable legislative body thinks of creating new laws, it should have in mind the Russian national interest first, observing that the Muslims Minorities Are Not Russians.


  12. 13
    Owen Jones,Guest Moderator says:

    He’ll be joining me tonight for a beer or three.


  13. 14
    Spoonface says:

    Give them vodka, poor things


  14. 15
    Where's peace envoy Blair when you need him? says:


  15. 17
    Blind_leading_the_blind says:

    “trying to extend its boundaries to Mongolia” or as Merkel knows it, the Fourth Reich


  16. 18
    Prime Minister David "Moneys No Object" Cameron,the ignorant prick. says:

    HMRC scraps VAT.

    Hear ! Hear !


  17. 19
    Better Russian Fed than Dead says:

    Putin is chasing the EU/NATO cats off his lawn like he did in Georgia.
    Nowt wrong with that.
    I for one don’t want to be nuked in the name of the expansionist EU and its bumsex agenda.


  18. 21
    Father of the House says:

    I even knew Lloyd George


  19. 22
    johnpcope says:

    Tapsell didn’t become an MP until 1959 (Nottingham West). Anthony Eden was PM between 1955-1957 and then stood down as an MP. I doubt he was Eden’s PPS?

    Great to see someone speak with a historical perspective, however!


  20. 24
    AlecM says:

    Milibrain minor is so far out of his depth, he makes Obama look like Catharine the Great!

    As for DC, he’s starting to realise that he has to do some homework.

    Now we know why he was elevated, to make Milibrain look good!


  21. 27
    Netanyahoo says:

    Recognise the jooish state

    We are brazen reacists


  22. 32
    The Tit in Number 10 says:

    Yes I know I’m a serial liar and my promises are a totally debased currency. But that won’t stop me making them.


  23. 35
    JH-23091238459023 says:

    I think Russia is doing us all a favour showing how utterly fucking useless the EU is.

    Who wants to go and fight WW3 to protect the unearned privileges of the likes of Rumpoy, Barroso, Ashton, Verhofstadt and the like?



    This will hasten the EU’s demise a treat, and kills the keeping-the-peace meme stone dead.


  24. 36
    Historian says:

    British foreign policy

    Charge of the Light Brigade II


  25. 37
    Seymour says:

    I wonder what this Austen wallah means by a backbone. Is it being happy to send other peoples children to die for EU enlargement?

    Perhaps he’ll ask Merkel to send the German army, they’ve been there fairly recently and I’m sure they’ve kept their maps from their last war of liberation.

    The EU, aid and abetted by the US, caused this mess. Putin will clean it up.

    Also, he’s a bit poor at geography, Russia is part of Europe (upto the Urals anyway) to at least one European leader has a backbone.


  26. 42
    Owen Jones says:

    To show my solidarity towards my Ukrainian fellow comrades, all week I shall be wearing a Tank Top.


  27. 44
    C.O.Jones says:

    The last time they found oil in the Ukraine was when a Russian pipeline burst.


  28. 45
    Vlad the G(r)8 says:

    Добро пожаловать в мир реальной политики!


  29. 46
    C.O.Jones says:

    When you spend four times as much on social programmes as you do on your defense then you risk your foreign and defense ministers being called a cvnt by all and sundry.


  30. 52
  31. 58
    EyeSee says:

    I’ll have you know that as soon as the little local difficulty cropped up in the Ukraine, our EU gauleiters said that they would form a committee to ask several other committees to meet and decide at a group meeting an over-arching response, to be released at a press conference. If you are approaching retirement age, you might be dead before the press release. At least they take take heart that they were so involved in causing the problem.

    * Interesting aside. Gauleiters is highlighted as a spelling mistake and the suggested alternative is ‘gagwriters’, which seems stunningly appropriate.


  32. 60
    Wee Willy Hague says:



  33. 63
    Tory Boys are best says:

    My Grandad could remember Mafeking.

    He was a real bundle of laughs.


  34. 65
    Jack the Ripper says:

    Dave, Nick and Ed probably think the Charge of the Light Brigade is something to do with electricity bills.


  35. 66
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The Ukraine’s fate was sealed the moment they gave up their nuclear weapons for a crummy piece of paper promising them protection.


    • 72
      Socialism= Starvation says:

      They’v still got Chernobyl, let’s hope that they don’t make a dirty bomb.


  36. 89
    allandray says:

    Catherine the Great also partitioned Poland. Should we give the Russians that too?


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