February 28th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Affiliation Edition)


223 Comments

  1. 1
    Steve Miliband says:

    How nice of you to give me an audience Harriet

    Like

  2. 2
    abonae says:

    Suffer the little children

    Like

  3. 3
    thedukeofhunslet says:

    I’m sorry holy father, I tried to change the law for you but failed.

    Like

  4. 4
    Scallywag says:

    We’ve got lots to talk about!

    Like

  5. 5
    Lord Denning says:

    Looking at his boots, does he do Elvis impersonations?

    Like

  6. 6
    Scallywag says:

    I’ve got stockings and suspenders on under this frock…what are you wearing Harriet?

    Like

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    I have fingers in many Pies

    Like

  8. 7
    Mrs Harpersons Boys says:

    Like

  9. 9
    Pope says:

    Pope: “..and I said you can stick that up your @rse!!”

    Like

  10. 10
    Cabbage says:

    Klu Klux Klan unveil new yellow headgear.

    Like

  11. 11
    Kevin Claxton says:

    …and afterwards, my room is on the 2nd floor, end of the corridor. Knock 3 times….

    Like

  12. 12
    Scallywag says:

    Hello Harriet…do you like my little bald pussy over there in the fire place?

    Like

  13. 13
    King Canute says:

    Ms Harman, pedophilia was all the rage in the 80s. Now we must be more circumspect…

    Like

  14. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    Jack you could have told me it was a fancy dress party.

    Like

  15. 15
    just a thought says:

    My manservant has made a tasty PIE for lunch.

    Like

  16. 16
    Graham says:

    So Harriet, my colleagues would be interested to compare notes with you about the work of the PIE

    Like

  17. 17
    Welshracer says:

    Pope “Like Dorothy, I shall not let the wicked witch get her hands on my red shoes”

    Like

  18. 18
    shaun says:

    PIE-Jesu?

    Like

  19. 19
    Clare Neill says:

    Harriet: Ooh Monsignor, where did you get those red shoes?

    Pope Francis: Please don’t call me Monsignor

    Like

  20. 21
    Peter Grimes says:

    So, Holy Father, would you prefer me to deliver up Tony Blair to you or someone much younger?

    Like

  21. 22
    Steve Miliband says:

    Fancy picking out your car keys from the bowl!

    Like

  22. 24
    jgm2 says:

    So Holy Father, you only have to click your ruby slippers together and repeat

    ‘There’s no place like a children’s home, there’s no place like..’

    Like

  23. 26
    Pope says:

    Harriet in black, mourning the death of socialism.

    Like

  24. 27
    Rickytshirt says:

    It’s nice to finally meet someone as infallible as myself.

    Like

  25. 28
    still walking into darkness says:

    One of us resigned over allegations of child abuse in the organisations we ran

    Like

  26. 29
    dave says:

    Can I have the Tony Blair forgiveness package please?

    Like

  27. 31
    Mitch for Brighton says:

    Benedict, can you make Dr Payne + Gerry McCann members of the special club ?

    Like

  28. 32
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Pope PIE-us the XIII?

    Like

  29. 33
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    “I’m just a poor girl, from a poor family.. .”

    Like

  30. 34
    Julian the Wonderhorse says:

    Can I place an advert in your magazine please?

    Like

  31. 36
    OkBurt says:

    I see you’ve had a slice of our PIE, Harriet

    Like

  32. 37
    broderick crawford says:

    it s pope benedict yah fecking idiot … the new one s farnces ….. i think !!

    Like

  33. 38
    Martin says:

    You may kneel if you prefer Holy Father

    Like

  34. 39
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Mirror mirror on the the wall who’s the biggest pedo of them all.

    Like

  35. 40
    I think not says:

    Ebony and Ivory, living in perfect..

    Like

  36. 41
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Faith, Pope and Chastisement.

    Like

  37. 42
    I HATE PIE says:

    Paedos? I thought you said Speedos!

    Like

  38. 43
    Kiss my ring says:

    Let us prey.

    Like

  39. 45
    Notorious F.I.G. says:

    God’s chosen disciple on earth. And the Pope.

    Like

  40. 46
    PIEEYED IN PIMLICI says:

    Listen Harri, early day motions, isn’t something I can cope with.. I’ll just stick with ex-lax

    Like

  41. 47
    Anonymous says:

    So, you think 10 is ok?

    Like

  42. 48
    David Chappell says:

    Will you marry me?

    Like

  43. 49
    BinfieldWoodsman says:

    “I have always wondered what personal grooming products you use”

    “I find KitKats work quite well……”

    Like

  44. 51
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    2 PIE arghhhh!

    Like

  45. 52
    Amit Phander says:

    That fat kid likes sausage PIE

    Like

  46. 56
    Refuses To Apologise, Sound Familiar? says:

    Like

  47. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Me confess Father, you must be joking!

    Like

  48. 58
    Steve Miliband says:

    Yes, I am familiar with St Paul

    Like

  49. 59
    Al_your Pal says:

    Harriet: Let me get this right… it’s 14 if married, but 18 if single, yes?

    Pope: Correct, but it’s a little different for boys. They must be 16 and married, but 18 if single.

    Harriet: All a little confusing… could you draw me a PIE chart?

    Like

  50. 60
    Rt Hon H H'arman says:

    Would you care for some PIE ?

    Like

  51. 62
    Anonymous says:

    You should crawl before you can walk my dear, you should have made short trousers in junior school law first….

    Like

  52. 63
    Gail Bait says:

    Popey to Harriet: “…and of course it’s not easy being celibate, as you probably know….”

    Like

  53. 64
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Pope “Harriet,you naughty lady,you’ve just farted in front of me”

    Harriet “I’m so sorry,your holiness,I didn’t realise it was your turn.”

    Like

  54. 65
    C.O.Jones says:

    Harriet gets a surprise when she meets the Hitler youth.

    Like

  55. 66
    Bob says:

    Did you hear the one about the choirboy with a centre parting?…

    Like

  56. 67
    Bill Quango MP says:

    You want me to perform an exorcism on the Devil? And he is here on earth? Editing the Daily Mail?

    Like

  57. 69
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I have papal infallibility. What’s your excuse?

    Like

  58. 70
    Pontiff says:

    Shall we exchange information.

    Like

  59. 71
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Pope says to Harman i’ve written a new nursery rhyme would you like to hear it?

    Little Jack Dromey
    Sat in his homey
    Reading an edition of PIE;
    He pulled out his thumb,
    And stuck it up his bum,
    And said ‘What a gay boy am I!’

    Like

  60. 72
    Pope says:

    I hear your husband has become a sodomite ?

    Like

  61. 73
    PIE vendor says:

    Magpie out! Magpie out! Magpie out!

    Like

  62. 74
    Harriet Hatemen says:

    Forgive them Father , for they have sinned. But it wasn’t me. I’m not sorry for anything

    Like

  63. 75
    Jack says:

    A beautiful display of PIEty.

    Like

  64. 76
    Poet's day says:

    Either: “mea culpa … not”

    Like

  65. 77
    Gerbil 7 says:

    “Lessons WILL be learned”

    Like

  66. 78
    Harriet Hatemen says:

    Sorry Grandad. We don’t do God.

    Like

  67. 79
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    “…and of course, it isn’t a sin if you don’t enjoy it…”

    Like

  68. 80
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Hello Harriet. Have you finally come to confess?

    Like

  69. 81
    Tom says:

    I am the wrong one to give you a smear test

    Like

  70. 83
    Reader says:

    Resign? What on earth gives you that idea?

    Like

  71. 88
    Rt Hon H H'arman says:

    If I go down, I am taking Miliband with me. ** innocent face **

    Like

  72. 89
    Lord and Lady Establishment-Stooge of Brussels says:

    Nice dress.

    Like

  73. 90
    Purplelline see says:

    You see, your holy see, I see what others see, but do not seek to see young children seeing me seeing them as children. I see them as willing & able to participate in this world as adults you see, your holy see.

    Like

  74. 91
    Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

    I seek holly absolutions for the sins i didn’t commit or the apology i will not give.

    Like

  75. 92
    Cabbage says:

    Pope denies reports Ronald McDonald influencing Vatican policy.

    Like

  76. 93
    Back1woodsman says:

    My Jack wore a frock just like that, for his all women shortlist selection meeting.

    Like

  77. 95
    Round the Bend says:

    “Do you know, that just like you, my husband Mrs Dromey also wears a dress”.

    Like

  78. 96
    Arch says:

    “I’m afraid I’m having a problem with your demand for an all women shortlist for the next Pope”

    Like

  79. 96
    Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:

    Two people who have problems with their memberships of “youth” organisations.

    Like

  80. 98
    Clapping support against policies she supported says:

    Like

  81. 100
    RtHonJon says:

    “So, I understand you have the world’s largest number of PIE members per person?”

    Like

  82. 103
    Barreness Horseface of Private Plane, - yet another NooBoringLiar Clitorati placeperson says:

    Seriously though, – now that it is clear that I have successfully brokered peace in the Yoocrane, I confidently expect even more staff, Office Space, honours ….

    Thank you.

    Like

  83. 104
    Cap Shone says:

    Pope: “Shiiit, biiitch! Even we haven’t advocated fucking 4 year olds! The fuck is wrong with you, ho? Damn!”

    Like

  84. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Oh look. Its P.I.E in action.

    Like

  85. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Harriet: Are you hiding a small child under there or are you just pleased to see me?

    Like

  86. 109
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Suffer the little children to come unto them.

    Like

  87. 110
    Lost in the wilderness says:

    I’m Pope-pie the Naz(st)i man,
    I’m Pope -pie the Naz(st)i man,
    your kids we will pillage
    or burn down your village
    I’m Pope-pie the naz(st)i man

    Like

  88. 112
    Disco Biscuit says:

    “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”

    Like

  89. 113
    Sir Bentley Pauncefoot (deceased) says:

    “…but of course they’re only children, so obviously there’s an absolute ban on having a ciggy afterwards…”

    Like

  90. 114
    cornwall storms says:

    A meeting of like minded ostriches with their heads in the sand.

    Like

  91. 115
    The Critic says:

    I demand an all women shortlist for the next papal election your holiness

    Like

  92. 117
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “Funny thing is, I want to stop my followers from having sex with children, yet you want to encourage your followers to have sex with children. Why?”

    “I am sorry, I cannot quite understand you!”

    Like

  93. 119
    Libertie(s) says:

    Two world leaders (Irony chip malfunction) share a common problem

    Like

  94. 120
    Cynic2 says:

    One is whiter than white

    Like

  95. 121
    Tayto says:

    Can you get your peados to ring my peados and all will be fine

    Like

  96. 123
    Shurdyrover says:

    It’s PIE in the sky honest !

    Like

  97. 124
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Would you describe yourself as a PIEous man?
    If so, I have a couple of back issues of NCCL magazine you might be interested in…

    Like

  98. 125
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Has Dromey got a pair?. In the olden days a woman tried to sneak in as pope; therefore for years, every time there was a new pope, they had a “pope penis tester” check to see if it was really a male. An assistant lifted up the robe, and when the pope penis tester saw the balls, he would proclaim in Latin “They are there” and the pope candidate was allowed to become pope.
    The job of the “pope penis tester” went out several centuries ago.
    Time to bring it back?.

    Like

    • 136
      Jack Ketch says:

      It wasn’t just the penis–it was the overall genitals. The pope-elect was required to sit on a special chair with a cut-out section that allowed a manual check to take place. If all correct an announcement was made ‘testiculos habet et bene pendentes’. A loose translation being: ‘testicles he has and well-hung ones’.
      Maybe a myth, but more likely just an excuse for the gayers to cop a feel.

      Like

    • 145
      Peter Grimes says:

      Don’t be daft, with a simple test like that they’d likely give the job to Ed Bollox’ husband, Yvette!

      Like

  99. 127
    taxpayer-funded astroturfing EU troll says:

    I really shouldn’t be here………

    Like

  100. 128
    starkblender says:

    “You do realise that I am completely infallible?”

    “Yes, dear, and so is your husband Jack.”

    Like

  101. 129
    Scottish Chav says:

    … and liar shall speak unto Friar

    Like

  102. 130
    Phil says:

    Well if 10 is too young, how about 12?

    Like

  103. 131
    Blueberry says:

    Is it safe? Hmm? Is it safe? … don’t make me get my dental tools… Is it safe?

    Like

  104. 132
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    Both: You made a mistake trying to cover up your previous support of those commiting child abuse.

    Pause

    Both: A mistake!…. I’m infallable!

    Like

  105. 133
    Maimed Cadger says:

    I think your Party and mine have a similar problem, shall we compare notes ?

    Like

  106. 135
    indefinite leave to remain in the UK says:

    Sorry Father, been there, done that, didn’t work.

    Like

  107. 137
    Angus Curran says:

    I read in your Daily Mail that Jack prefers the B.B.C?

    Like

  108. 138

    Is that Harriet Harman, who contestants on “Perfection” quiz programme just identified as a Tory MP? How trasient was her fame…

    Like

  109. 139
    bergen says:

    You know the form. How do I bluff my way out of this ?

    Like

  110. 140
    Anonymous says:

    Now my uncle had a load of mags’, interested ?

    Like

  111. 142
    Anonymous says:

    Pope: I’ve been told you’re a right old cow.

    Like

  112. 143
    Met says:

    Good cop, bad cop.

    Like

  113. 144
    David says:

    I understand your interests would fit in nicley but I am sorry we don’t do women priests !

    Like

  114. 147
    Harriet says:

    I support and admire your work, some kids are just too sexy.

    Like

  115. 148
    I agree with Nick says:

    Pair of cunts!

    Like

  116. 152
    Anonymous says:

    “Here in Vatican City, we have the lowest age of consent in Europe. Cool huh ? “

    Like

  117. 153
    Morgan's Organ says:

    Love your outfit Harriet, I was told your husband likes black.

    Like

  118. 154
    Graham says:

    So Jack likes big black cocks ? Up his arse or does he suck them off ?

    Like

  119. 155
    The Great British Public says:

    Harriet, I’m afraid you’re a little too old for me my dear.

    Like

  120. 156
    I d on't need no doc tor says:

    Harman : “I’m afraid Pope I really am holier than thou”.

    Like

  121. 157
    I d on't need no doc tor says:

    Harman “Really Pope, and I thought it was just me that got moderated on Guido’s site”.

    Like

  122. 158
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Benedictus: later Harriet later.

    Like

  123. 160
    Graham says:

    Of course you can bugger 4 year olds. They really do like to be priests’ holes.

    Like

  124. 162
    Benedict says:

    “If anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea. (Mark 9:42)”

    Like

  125. 163
    Top of the Popes says:

    Like

    • 179
      Now then, now then, now then says:

      A 17 Year old boy has been accused of raping a 14 year old girl.

      Or as it is known at the BBC, Work Experience.

      Like

  126. 164
    logic says:

    Welcome to the darkside… We’ve been expecting you.

    Like

  127. 165
    Pope Benny says:

    Well, at least I resigned

    Like

  128. 168
    dbopenlock says:

    Harperson: “You would be the Pope on Monday and then there would be a Woman Pope on Tuesday and then on Wednesday you would be the Pope and on Thursday it would be the Woman Pope again and so forth. It’s a perfectly simple solution to achieve equality”

    Like

  129. 171
    User name : Harriet, Password: Harman says:

    So Harriet are we agreed that child molestation by Priests will be legalised in your White Paper ?

    Like

  130. 172
    ss says:

    Thank you Hatty 3 14 year olds perfect, blessings from god.

    Like

  131. 173
    myhusbandlikesbigblackcock says:

    “I’m an enabler of paedophiles, too”.

    Like

  132. 174
    Mick says:

    Three pussies by the fire…

    Like

  133. 175
    Dai Bando says:

    Harriet to Benedict,Suffer the little children to come unto me.

    Like

  134. 176
    RichUpNorth says:

    Go on, Hattie, do that Basic Instinct thing where you cross your legs!

    Like

  135. 177
    Harriet'sHairPie says:

    Ratzo: So, will you finally answer the question that has been asked by so many? Do you have a landing strip or an amazon jungle?

    Like

  136. 178
    Anonymous says:

    Red shoes – no knickers…

    Like

  137. 180
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Ahh so it’s not just Paedophilia that we have in common then.

    Like

  138. 181
    Read the minutes, Jack says:

    …so what we do, Harriet, is just move them on to a new diocese.

    Like

    • 183
      Diocese or disease says:

      Exactly right, Evil Eyes Benedict used to be in Berlin Central when he was a jaunty old Hitle.r youth ahem, “conscript” then he gets moved evntually to Rome, interesting.

      Like

  139. 182
    When Benny Met Harry says:

    Benny, I love the fact that we have some much in common, both being old National Socialists means we don’t have to have a care about kiddies being fidlled!

    Like

  140. 184
    Schweizermag says:

    Big Black Cocks? Never miss it.

    Like

  141. 187

    And who is wearing the split crutch onsies?

    Like

  142. 188
    Aparat says:

    Is there anything better than the self-explanatory:

    “P.I.E.”?

    Like

  143. 189
    4 and 20 Blackbirds Baked in a Pie says:

    Does New Labour = Pie R Squared
    How did you brake the code

    Like

  144. 190
    Gary Bloke says:

    If the Devil cast his net now, what a catch he should have!

    Like

  145. 191
    Sid Cleverbollocks says:

    Yeah, Vaseline’s fine but I often find that just a good spit into the palm of your hand does the trick… What about you?

    Like

  146. 192
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    Pope: “So how much would affiliation cost?”

    Like

  147. 193
    Rightallalong says:

    Pope: ‘I’m being smeared by my daily male too’.

    Like

  148. 194
    peech imspediment says:

    D’ya want a sweet, little boy?

    Like

  149. 195
    Contra mundes says:

    “Bless me Father, for I strongly deny all the allegations which have been made against me.”

    Like

  150. 197
    domino says:

    No your holiness, Sabrina sangs Boys, Boys, Boys I just helped supply Boys, Boys, Boys.

    Like

  151. 198
    Harriet Harman says:

    Do you have a Jim’ll Fix It badge too?

    Like

  152. 199
    Cynic says:

    i hope you don’t mind but i just ordered takeaway – the Sistine Chapel Choir will be in soon

    Like

  153. 200
    frank says:

    Our Flag is deepest red, from social services care home kids is shed.
    We burned our clothing and hard drives

    Like

  154. 202
    I love gay marriage says:

    Harriet: What a lovely thick carpet
    Pope: Yes, you should see what we’ve managed to sweep under it…

    Like

  155. 203
    Surr Nob Skelpoff says:

    A good slice of PIE will soon straighten you out Pope Bendy Dick.

    Like

  156. 204
    Ratbag says:

    HH..Just to let you know..there will be a charabanc of boy scouts arriving in Rome next Saturday.

    Ratzy: Thank you you hideous twat.

    Like

  157. 205
    Ron B says:

    Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven

    Like

  158. 206
    Ethelred the Unsteady says:

    Harriet: Look Benedict, I know all about the Peter Principle – I ‘m the living proof of it – what’s your excuse ?

    Like

  159. 207
    Offa's Dyke says:

    No Benny, I’m the MP for Peckham, not FuckHam!

    Like

  160. 208
    Harriet Harman says:

    Your Holiness, does your 5 year old son want to fuck me?

    Like

  161. 209
    michael says:

    Please remind Jack that all our choristers are 10 years old
    and since Tony has converted perhaps you could pigeon-hole him too.

    Like

  162. 210
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest”
    Being infallible. Would you mind explaining to me how politics, science, and religion would continue, if they allowed humanity to go extinct?
    Well your popeness, its like this…

    Like

  163. 211
    geordieboy says:

    I am purer than pure and whiter than white what about you , you lefty paedo loving shite

    Like

  164. 212
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    “Please don’t pontificate Ratzi. That’s my job.”

    Like

  165. 214
    UK Fred says:

    PIE Arse Queer(ed)

    Like

  166. 215
    Colin says:

    “…but the Pope did not influence my decisions in any way.”

    Like

  167. 216
    pay day says:

    So, you are infallible too

    Like

  168. 217
    Papal Noncio says:

    No Ben – I’m not in mourning – I just like to wear my heart on my sleeve

    Like

  169. 218
    Who ate all the PIE says:

    “Bugger the kids, I’ll do the policy you provide the logistics”

    Like

  170. 219
    hoomoo17 says:

    Perhaps I Envisioned Perfectly Innocent Endeavors Performed In Ealing!

    Like

  171. 220
    Xavier Onassis says:

    Ratzinger speaks –

    “Nice of you to grant me an audience Harriet – I’ve always wanted to meet somebody who REALLY is infallable. But I don’t think my followers will be happy with your suggestion we worship you instead of Jesus – I’ll leave that to the BBC.”

    Like

  172. 221
    Anonymous says:

    Carlsberg don’t make perverts, but if they did…

    Like

  173. 222
    Albert Onestone says says:

    Four thirds PIE are squared times two.

    Like

  174. 223
    Enemy of the State says:

    El Pappa – “How come you never told me David Cameron is your cousin?”

    Like


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VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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