February 26th, 2014

PMQs LIVE: Crackerjack! Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Graeme Morrice (Livingston)

Q2 Sir Alan Beith (Berwick-upon-Tweed)

Q3 Sir Peter Bottomley (Worthing West)

Q4 Lorraine Fullbrook (South Ribble)

Q5 Jack Dromey (Birmingham, Erdington)

Q6 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West)

Q7 Julian Smith (Skipton and Ripon)

Q8 Ms Margaret Ritchie (South Down)

Q9 Jim Shannon (Strangford)

Q10 Helen Jones (Warrington North)

Q11 Jessica Lee (Erewash)

Q12 Sir Bob Russell (Colchester)

Q13 Mark Pawsey (Rugby)

Q14 Bob Blackman (Harrow East)

Q15 Luciana Berger (Liverpool, Wavertree)

Comments in the comments please…


  1. 1
    Gobbledygook says:

    Jim Shannon……listen carefully…..

  2. 2
    Chukka says:

    Lucky Luciana


    Will she be showing her knockers to go with those lips?

  3. 3
    Mitch says:

    Big Black Jack at Q5 :-)

  4. 4
    Observer says:

    And Teamster Jack Dromey

    Moral bankruptcy personified

  5. 5
    Ed Miliband says:

    I’m going to promise the British people a referendum on membership of The Labour Party. It will be an in/out/shake it all about question.

  6. 6
    Andy Burnthem says:

    Black Jack wants to know why Bibblackcocks.com is not available on the NHS.

  7. 7
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    Harriet wearing a butterfly brooch…

  8. 8
    Newsflash says:

    They’re talking about floods now.

  9. 9
    Ed Balls says says:

    oohhh eeerr hope so

    def would ya know

    oh sorry yvette ……..love ya !

  10. 10
    Mitch says:

    Deaths head moth?

  11. 11
    Blind Pew says:

    The Eagle brothers looking tasty as ever.

  12. 12
    Baboon's arse says:

    This is fun. I haven’t got a telly so I have no idea what they’re saying.

  13. 13
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    Ed spreading the man made climate change bollocks. Fuck off Ed you retard lisping fuck.

  14. 14
    Weybridgeman says:

    climate change is bunkum….your starter for 10

  15. 15
    Said to John Bercow says:

    Hi Ho, Hi Ho….

  16. 16
    Podiceps says:

    ‘I saw her run after a gilded butterfly: and when she caught it, she let it go again; and after it again; and over and over she comes, and again; catched it again; or whether her fall enraged her, or how ’twas, she did so set her teeth and tear it; O, I warrant it, how she mammocked it!’

  17. 17
    Hadley freeeeeeeman says:

    You’re all sexist-racist.

    Don’t like it? Well we will enrich you out of existence.

    Haha, be awesome like me, cool sunglasses, yeah feminism, freedom for abortion and to let men fuck without responsibility…

    What’s that? The Islamic Republic of Great Britain no longer allows women to be seen in public? But we are all enriched by multiculturalism. It’s intersectionaility? What about 23rd wave feminism? But I was told the cool hip young people wanted it and only white people and men (groups I really hate, there just like not as cool and never have any culture is it?) opposed to it. So confused H4dley! Need new handbag.

  18. 18
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    No, it’s a ped’o symbol, according to the FBI:


  19. 19
    Sir Bernard Haagen-Daas says:

    Hattie and two other ugly sisters to Ed’s left. Not as much nodding today.

  20. 20
    So he chickened out says:

    Better off saying Man made climate change is bollocks

  21. 21
    General Farquhart says:

    Dave looks like he is going to have a heart attack at any moment.

  22. 22
    Sid and Brian Eagle says:

    *intimidating stare*

  23. 23
    General Farquhart says:

    What an intelligent comment.

  24. 24
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    We are not building the nuke plant. It is a foreign consortium.

  25. 25
    jimbooo says:

    He’s clearly a bit of a peeve.

    But in all the arguments about PIE let’s not forget that New Labour boasts to this day about changing the law so as to legally allow a 50 year old man to have sex with a 16 year old boy who is still in school.

  26. 26
    was it something I said? says:

    He believes Labour is a force for good so he should have no problem believing in Man-made-global-climate-change-warming. Or unicorns for that matter.

  27. 27
    Dromley says:

    We had no child’s views expressed to us at NCCL. We shall have no childrens views here in the Labour Party.

  28. 28
    Dave needs to GO!!! Now says:


    Even if man made climate change existed. If great Britain did not exist then it would make no difference compared to what the rest of the world does.

  29. 29
    Yuk says:

    Another vile pig

  30. 30
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    Osborne fixing the deficit by cutting public investment is what is causing a lot of problems now. That Labour are not attacking that is curious.

  31. 31
    They made me go to rehab says:


  32. 32
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Why are politicians scared to tell the truth about the lack of man made climate change?

  33. 33
    Hardman says:

    As a feminist I do not have time for children or their views.

  34. 34
    General Farquhart says:

    Funny that. Because Dave has just said he very much agrees that climate change is man-made.

  35. 35
    General Farquhart says:

    So if no-one does anything, does anything get done?

  36. 36
    Shakin' Stevens says:

    I’d have thought somethign from Twelfth night or one of the other cross-dressing plays would be more appropriate.
    Or perhaps Romeo and Juliet: though Juliet at 14 was a bit elderly.

  37. 37
    Village Idiot says:

    ……Maybe a lot of graduate jobs depend on us being convinced of climate change? It is the weather,which has changed since the year ..
    Air pollution should be tackled vigorously!

  38. 38
    Sixkness says:

    So, that’s a no to Dodds request then…..fuck all will be done to rectify the outrageous decision over the IRA terrorist,

  39. 39
    LibLabCon r all the same says:

    No he is trying to get Dave off the fence and come down in favour of Man Made Climatte change, knowing full well that Dave’s back benchers do not believe in it.

  40. 40
    Perv says:

    Awkward silence for Dromey

  41. 41
    My-5 Kinky Boyz Estate Managers says:

    Orange and bin liner time ???

  42. 42
    Only Blair says:

    PIE in the face for Dromey.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe he just wanted to know where the boys room was?

  44. 44
    whippet says:

    No he’s trying not to inhale too deeply in case Ed’s stupidity is contagious.

  45. 45
    Citizen Khan says:

    Piss off you apologist for kiddy fiddlers.

  46. 46
    Woooooooooah. says:

    Q15. Luciana Berger: Could the Prime Minister please explain to the constituents of Waverley in Liverpool, why is it that they’ve not been flooded. Is this not another example of preferable treatment by Eric Pickles.

  47. 47
    Mitch says:

    Yes, very clear lack of support.

  48. 48
    % 6 hhj says:

    Do anything about something that does not exist?

    That is a stupid argument anyway as the science says that Britain’s CO2 emissions are insignificant.

  49. 49
    Shakin' Stevens says:

    Will someone suggest “Make it a Cracker, Jack” to BBCD?

  50. 50
    Ralph says:

    Or Daddies fairy tales about the great good of my political works.

  51. 51
    Mitch says:

    Cameron ‘understands’ the anger, but pointedly didn’t agree with it.

  52. 52
    whippet says:

    So were most of the Gas power stations built under labour.
    Strangely contradictory to their climate change stace?

  53. 53
    Jack Dromey says:

    My favourite film is Men In Black Men.

  54. 54
    Only Blair says:

    Ah! Liverpool the home of the victim culture.

  55. 55
    Citizen Khan says:

    Anna Soubry scares me.

  56. 56
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    A Lib-Con coalition could be the worst of all possible outcomes.

  57. 57
    Happy Dromley says:

    “Can Bob Blackman, Questionnaire 14, see me a latter for a photo shot, please”.

  58. 58
    JenTheBlue says:

    Did someone suggest unicorns are not real? Surely you need to believe in unicorns to be in government?

  59. 59
    General Farquhart says:

    It’s the fat old cow Dorries now. Haven’t seen her for ages.

  60. 60
    Nads in bad shape says:

    Nads is going bald and her tum is falling over her belt

  61. 61
    LEA says:

    Teacher says it will be all ok.

  62. 62
    Chicken Kev says:

    Further UK rain is not wanted. Return to sender.

  63. 63
    whippet says:

    Someone should tell her that women also stalk men and deaths result. She should be against stalking in general and not be so sexist.

  64. 64
    Just how much more do you want? All of it? Cos you ain't getting it... says:

    We have effectively already done it, since our emissions are WAY below average. So we should be sitting back on our laurels, not spending yet more money we don’t have on policies we don’t need.

  65. 65
    Disgraceful says:

    Given SinnFein and SDLP refuse, point blank, to accept the idea of the National Crime Agency operating in Northern Ireland, what exactly does Cameron expect to achieve in endless discussions on the subject?
    He’s leading the country a merry dance, the criminals within the Irish Nationalist community will continue to operate with impunity, in fact operate with state sanction given that Labour gave them freedom passes and the millions of pounds earned through scams, tax avoidance and fuel laundering will continue to pour into the pockets of IRA scumbags around the South Armagh border area.

  66. 66
    rick says:

    I thought CO7 was firm but fair – caught the mood.

  67. 67
    Disgraceful says:

    Lol…poor Billy,

  68. 68
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    B!lly Kebab ?

  69. 69
    Disgraceful says:

    Poor BiLLY

  70. 70
    Mitch says:

    What can Luciana offer young Billy?

  71. 71
    Ridiculous says:

    Have you ever heard the like of that nonsense she has just spouted

  72. 72
    Luciana says:

    Silly Billy. Too many bergers.

  73. 73
    Posh Bird hasn't got a clue says:

    Lucy met B1lly in a Skip and Lucy wants Dave to offer B1lly a Job

    Bloody modbot

  74. 74
    To Chukkka from Luciana says:

    “Applying red lip stick to your foreskin does not do it for me”.

  75. 75
    whippet says:

    Labour are proud of their mistakes, they make sure they can’t be undone

  76. 76
  77. 77
    Now we know where he's been says:

    B1lly has been cheating on us with Luciana??

  78. 78
    Stop taking a liberty says:

    Children should be seen not heard

  79. 79
    Fatty Nads says:


  80. 80
    She is a waste of space. says:

    Does Luciana Berger MP appointed to Liverpool have any idea of what the PM’s job is?

  81. 81
    Jack Dromey says:

    I like chocolate pie!

  82. 82
    Harman is evil says:

    If it wasn’t for her looks, she’d be working at her local Aldi.

  83. 83
    Care....us? says:

    Those flooding out of the chamber demonstrating their real concern about the Hyde Park bombings….

  84. 84
    Lucy lovely Legs says:

    Was my question said sensuously enough? Was it? Was it?

  85. 85
    USSR v EUSSR says:

    Brillo reporting Russia mobilising the troops.

    I hope the Baroness Ashton is their first target followed by Barroso.

  86. 86
    General Farquhart says:

    It’s good to see that the Mail has worked its magic with you.

  87. 87
    Woooooooooah. says:

    12:31: Labour’s Luciana Berger says a man called Billy has to scavenge through supermarket bins to eat. But the PM responds that poverty has fallen under the coalition.

  88. 88
    Uncle Longman after jail visiting says:

    Just because the children cry’s does not make it wrong.

  89. 89
    WW3 says:


  90. 90
    was it something I said? says:

    No she wouldn’t. Aldi workers work hard.

    She’d be living in a tax-payer subsidised flat on benefit money. Like so many of her constituents.

  91. 91
    El Sid says:

    Perhaps Luciana, Ed Balls, Stella Creasy and the other Cooperative MPs will be asking about the record £2bn losses incurred by the Cooperative : http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-26350008

    As an aside, why the hell is the Cooperative Bank allowed to keep its name when it should be called the US-hedge-fund Bank?

  92. 92
    Jack Dromey says:

    Or White Men can’t gag.

  93. 93
    Care....us? says:

    Emily Thornberry….what a fuckng cùnt she is.

  94. 94
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    To admit that there is no problem means they have no excuse to inflict the ruinous renewable energy taxes.

  95. 95
    Paper round says:

    Invading Brussels? It will be stopped by all the paper work.

  96. 96
    jimbo says:

    She is a dopey bint. Check out her latest illiterate diatribe about feminist in-fighting. Well don,t it’s utter tripe but the below the line carnage is funny to see, comment after comment moderated for saying anything even slightly negative about feminism, only allowing those moronic women who sign in to post “we love you hadley” – best bit was the idiotic hadley herself commenting then awarding herself a guardian “pick” for agreeing with a comment that agreed with her article.

    Comment is Free? The bedwetters!

  97. 97
    Harriet Harmskids says:

    PIE are stonking!

  98. 98
    Committee says:

    Is it old red tape or new red tape?

  99. 99
    Harman is evil says:

    x googolplex

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    So is Putin going to do a Sudetenland anex, a la Hitler?

    Strange for someone who claims he’s anti facist. I don’t trust his baboon face.

  101. 101
    Baroness Ashtray says:

    We like open borders.

  102. 102
    Fella Tio says:

    Lucky Luciana has got a very wide mouth.

  103. 103
    Harman is evil says:

    What about Lidl?

  104. 104
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Tell them to send the 15th Armoured Accountancy Division and audit the accounts while they are there.

  105. 105
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:


  106. 106
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Andrew Neil on BBC Politicsmade the very pertinent point that not one single MP raised the matter of UK Foreign policy in relation to the Ukraine or the UK being a major contributor to IMF/EU bail out of some £35 Billion but then again Osborne’s cheque book is always open unless you live in UK and have been flooded out or if you are disabled or if you are reliant on foods banks. Meanwhile Putin sticks two fingers up at Ashton;Hague and Kerry and puts all Russian Forces in West and Central Russia on combat alert effective 2pm Moscow Time…..the man is going to go for it despite Wee Willy’s warning last week

  107. 107

    Don’t let the green arseholes brainwash you into using their new term ‘climate change’ ,stick to their even more ludicrous term of ‘global warming’.

  108. 108
    Cast Iron Dave says:

    I have bigger pecs. And check the ‘guns’ out *tenses arm*

  109. 109
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    Job as a post box? Slot gob 2?

  110. 110
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

    I would like to call for a Hutton-style whitewash Enquiry into what happened with Harridan, Jacqueline and all those PIEs

  111. 111
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Russain Navy APCs and Marines had already arrived yesterday in Sevastapol:


    And they are now launching combat readiness drills:


    I dont think Putin knows we have Ashton leading from the front……

  112. 112
    Harriet Harmskids says:

    I always wake up at the crack of Jack.

  113. 113
    The Russians are coming !!!! says:

    Crimea was always going to be at risk especially with the loons in Ukraine targetting Russian Speakers and outlawing Russian as language. Let’s hope they realise that at the first sight of Russian Tanks Willy, Cathy and Barry will be off over the horizon

  114. 114
    whippet says:

    Anyone see Margaret Curran reduce climate change to a religious matter of deniers and believers? The argument should be science based you backward halfwit.
    What is this, the middle ages?

  115. 115
    Lucy lovely Legs says:


  116. 116
    A civil servant with a degree in Classics says:

    If it’s mind-boggling expensive it must be good!

  117. 117
    Tony the "Jet Setter" says:

    I am always ready with advice on setting up enquiries. My consultancy fees are very reasonable………

  118. 118
    Colleagues are a socialist thing says:

    Lidl workers and Aldi workers multi task and work hard. Luciana would never be able to cope with that

  119. 119
    actually says:

    Also been covered in the Telegraph and Mirror.

  120. 120
    Galileo Galilei says:

    I thought I’d got it into people’s heads that observations trump theories, but no! Along comes the CO2 theory and we’re back to Aristotle.

  121. 121
    Little Willie says:

    I ha ha have here a piece of paper from Mr Pukin which states that his troops just need some exercise and I am a trusting do.., so that that then.

  122. 122
    The Crimean War, Part II says:

    Funny how the same places always cause trouble…

    Shocking that MPs weren’t prepared to discuss it.

  123. 123
    Well I never did !!! says:

    She would be a “WAG” more like with a mansion in Cheshire and a Merc on the drive

  124. 124
    south7eventh says:

    What was the point of the display of purple?

  125. 125
    Currant is a Currant says:

    Brillo was brilliant, he just let her rant on feeding her so much rope that she hanged herself several times over. She really is a thick one.

  126. 126
    jim says:


    Climate change has existed for as long as the planet has been around. And us humans have been on it for a speck of that time.

    They are changing ‘global warming’ to ‘climate change’, which has always happened irregardless of humans, to cover for their fake science which, inconveniently for them, hasn’t yet materialised.

    Why don’t they go the whole hog and call it ‘the weather’? (Oops, no taxes for that)

    Keep calling it global warming to highlight their scam.

  127. 127
    jim says:

    It’s not climate change, it’s global warming, remember.

    The climate always has, and always will, change.

  128. 128

    Putin must be issued with an ultimatum if he continues on this dangerous course the EU will be forced into unleashing the fearsome Luxemburg PanzerGruppe Barrosso supported by the fanatical Von Rumpoy Battalions of Third Europa Shock ARMY group WEST.

  129. 129
    Anon. says:

    “NCCL also acted for some of those men when there were police enquiries”

    Did they receive money,legal aid,public money for this?

  130. 130
    jim says:

    This is what gets me, how come it is all some DM smear?

    Did she or did she not sign off on those recomendations printed in the Mail?

    If she did, it is either abhorrent, or catastrophically ignorant, no questions.

    I agree that the DM running stories like ‘shes grown up for her age’ is somewhat sinister, and not appropriate, but that doesn’t detract from what is alleged about HH.

    The comments on here go a little far, in my opinion, but no doubt (If the DM letters are not fakes) she was complicit in something which, was the boot to be on the other political foot, she would be screaming from the rooftops.

    And how come every other time Labour tried to ‘smear’ an opposing politician it was all OK? But not for her or her ilk?

    It all comes down to politicians being unable to show any sort of contrition for wrongdoing, and any sort of backbone for fear of political attack/repraisals.

    They should sod that fear, have an understanding of right and wrong, and prosecute that in every aspect of their (paid by us) career. Some hope.

  131. 131
    Anon. says:

    Almost word for word.

  132. 132
    Anon. says:

    Wondering when NCCL become Liberty, lines appear to blur?


  133. 133
    Spartacus says:

    and the attorney general grieve making one of the longest ‘not me guv’ series of statements I have ever heard.

    paraphrasing – but we will advertise for bloody sunday witnesses so we can nail british soldiers.

  134. 134
    Lucretia Burger says:

    Come here Chucker. I’ll cut it off for you with my trusty secateurs. Then you will be one of us.

  135. 135

    What became of the principal that no government can bind it’s successor ?

  136. 136
    Maximus says:

    You’re allowed to bugger your 16 year old catamite as hard as you like, but you’re not allowed to give him a cigarette to smoke afterwards.

  137. 137
    broderick crawford says:


    OK then … what if I buy a supply of multi flavoured condoms ?

  138. 138
    broderick crawford says:

    I think the stewards will conclude after much forensic tape editing that the word was actually “Crackersnatch” …. a reference by a no doubt besotted admirer of the nether bodily attractions of the lady speaking at the time .

    Yes I agree , some poor lost , tumescent , misguided male MP who still harbours romantic illusions about the woman .

  139. 139
    Eddy the Eagle says:

    ‘You can’t hide your lying eyes.’

  140. 140
    geordieboy says:

    And my big gob letter box mouth wife. Ah where is Wendy?

  141. 141
    geordieboy says:

    Don’t fuck with aliens.

  142. 142
    geordieboy says:

    A blow job.

  143. 143
    geordieboy says:

    Not Harriet Hairy Pie then?

  144. 144
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    She doesn’t even have any idea where Liverpool is.
    Oh and Ed Millit*at wants to know if it is anywhere near Doncaster.

  145. 145
    Loosehead says:

    Children should be obscene not heard. Boom tish!

  146. 146
    Loosehead says:

    Still would.

  147. 147
    Loosehead says:

    Send Gordon in. It’ll all turn to sh*t within 24 hours.

  148. 148
    Loosehead says:

    Did they avail themselves of the NCCL legal counsel?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers