February 25th, 2014

When is a Speech Not a Speech?

It’s safe to say this morning’s ‘speech’ by Grant Shapps and the multi-millionaire wheeler dealer Sir John Major has been a bit of a clusterf**k. In fact there is zero evidence so far that it even took place. There are a couple of quotes in the Mail and on PA but why was no one invited?

This is the press release that went out. Did these mythical candidates even say anything?

As the Tories thought it fit to not invite any press to the event, we have to rely on a stream of verbal diarrhoea from @CCHQPress as evidence it ever happened. Surely they can’t be so worried about a few questions that they would go out of their way to shoot themselves in the foot like this? It’s going to be a long campaign at this rate.


  1. 1

    Dunno but…

    In a nutshell:

    Harman is using the fallacy of false equivalence in comparing the Mail posting a photograph of a TV celebrity and her friends in bikinis when young (not illegal) with the main objective of PIE (highly illegal) and on whose behalf she sought to have the law relaxed.

  2. 2
    Maximus says:

    Harperson has always been a very confused womanperson.

  3. 3
    Ed Balls Super Fan says:

    Any Major Super Fans ?

  4. 4
    Sir John Major KG says:


  5. 5
    Mitch says:

    The Speccie story says one pooled camera was there. Didn’t Churchill give most of his famous wartime speeches in a room on his own (for radio)?

  6. 6
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Mail -v- Harman; the unspeakable in full pursuit of the unspeakable.

  7. 7
    Sir William Wayde says:

    ….or his voice double

  8. 8
    Fed up and leaning towards UKIP says:

    Major must run Gordon Brown close as to the WORST PM of modern times, TOSSER!!!

  9. 9

    It would have to be a yet further corruption of Oscar Wilde really, wouldn’t it?

  10. 10
    Dodgyas says:
  11. 11
    Ed Balls Super Fan says:

    Wonder if he’s having a currie later ? Back to basics.

  12. 12
    Ladder Shapps says:

    I’m a programmed testicle

    I love meaningless soundbytes from multimillionaires posing as members of the working clsss

    I guarantee a Tory defeat in 15..

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    the b b c have smudged out the chap next to harpic for some reason…

  14. 14
    Jolly John Minor says:

    You will have a railway that will be the envy of the world I tell you!

  15. 15
    Ex Tory says:

    Is the Tory Party intellectually b a n kbrupt?

    Or stoned out of its collective head?

    If a prize idiot like Shapps is all the can produce, God help us..

  16. 16
    Pride is the new Pie says:

    IMHO. Gay Pride marches should be banned. Why are they allowed to take over the streets and openly flaunt their sexual organs to and homosexuality to anyone, man woman or child who may be in the vicinity?

  17. 17
    cornwall storms says:

    John Major was a nice man – not exactly a great PM though.

    So why is he giving speeches now? Best he stays quiet and lets the current bunch fight their own corner for 2015.

    Next we’ll be having a tv debate between major and gordon brown and that will be quite enough to put all of us of politics for a lifetime.

  18. 18
    Sir Anthony Eden says:

    How quickly they forget me.

  19. 19
    Get Rid of Scotland says:

    Major? Yesterday’s man, like having Kinnock doing a speech for Labour.

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Churchill didn’t go on radio. His speeches to Parliament were reported by radio reporters. There were no radio microphones in the Commons and he was unenthusiastic about the use of broadcast media.

  21. 21
    Not good enough says:

    I just see a Blair clone when Shapps is on TV.
    I take not one word he has to say, on any subject whatsoever, seriously. He is a lightweight, whose gestures and sound bites, are simply not what this country demands at this time.
    That the Conservatives retain him as Chairman shows them to be equally vacuous.

  22. 22
    1984 says:

    Ban everything and ban everyone, it would make it easier.

  23. 23
    +1 for the Cones Hotline says:

    Why does everyone take the piss out of the cones hotline? Most people I knew at the time thought it was a good idea. You could drive for tens of miles on coned off motorway, next to perfectly good carriageway and not a workman or plant in sight.

  24. 24
    Harmans Cook says:

    Just chill my darling, slice of apple PIE?

  25. 25
    +1 for the Cones Hotline says:

    Why does everyone take the piss out of the cones hotline? Most people I knew at the time thought it was a good idea. You could dr1ve for tens of miles on coned off motorway, next to perfectly good carriageway and not a workman or plant in sight.

  26. 26

    Is this really the best that Labour’s immediate response team can come up with? “Please, Miss, they’re doing it too” is not an adequate rebuttal of Harriet’s monumental lack of both ethical and professional judgement over PIE, and her active support of a nonce’s charter.

  27. 27
    C.O.Jones says:

    Seems the left are trying to equate fashion with pe4dophilia. Nice smokescreen but sorry, all the papers do it.

  28. 28
    Ted Heath says:

    I thought I won that award

  29. 29
    Who are these people? says:

    And this Shapps is co-chair of the Tory party with, wait for it, “Lord” Feldman, famous for callingTory activist “swivel eyed loons” and for running after Mandelsum to try and get a bung from pillaging oligarch Oleg…

    The Tory party is dead

    Long live an association of the idiotic, crooked and perverted…

  30. 30
    A very old trick says:

    Shooting the messenger. It always works, for 5 minutes until people realise that’s what it is.

  31. 31

    It’s still possible to do that, It’s one of those things that Britain is great at.

  32. 32
    Mitch says:

    Not true. For example, the “Fight them on the beaches” speech was first given in the HoC and again later for broadcast on radio. How else do we have a recording of it?

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Who are these people? says:

    Oh shit

    The Sir John Major Apprenticeship Programme

    It goes from bad to worse

    Can we have the Sir John Major Plebs Programme

    Aka Give Them Cakes Programme while I sell my country out to my hedge fund for millions

  35. 35
    Owen Jones says:

    The Conservative Party are to re brand themselves the “The Shirker’s Party” in an attempt to change their image as a party for the toffs.

    I’m pissing myself with laughter.

  36. 36
    Feldman, Tory Co-Chair says:

    What about me?

    I despise Tory activists..

  37. 37
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    She is also throwing a few straw men about.

    The way to defeat this is to not be distracted, stick to the matter in hand. Do roughly what the M’ail are doing.

    The issue which the Mail have raised is that she and others should atone for their part in advocating for P.I.E. back in the 70s / early 80s.

    D’romey has issued a statement of sorts.
    H’ewitt has been silent, but then she is no longer an MP.

    H’arman has continued to dodge. That paints her into a corner and now should be raising very serious concerns in the mind of the electorate about her suitability to hold the position she currently does, and worst, maybe be brought back into government next year.

    In the meantime she is trying to put pressure on Cameron to tighten press regulation, which she was one of the main advocates of in the first place.

    She needs to go.

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    Didn’t Baroness Warsi of Bungsformates used to be Tory Chair?

  39. 39
    Caterpillar says:

    When I lived in the states I never saw a cone once, but I believe they have them now. What really impressed mr though is that they would not piss about with Highway repairs stringing them out for months/years while trying to keep the traffic flowing. They would simply close the highway one day, ship in great fuck off road making machines and literally tear up the old one and lay a new one complete with new bridges pipes cables etc and just a week later a whole new road is open to traffic.

  40. 40
    The Corrupt Tories, Blair's children says:

    + 1000

    Only difference at the moment

    Blair takes millions from any crook he can find, openly..

    Whereas Shapps is still lying his way up the greasy pole

    Until he can cash in…

  41. 41
    Harmans Cock says:

    Cream pie ?

  42. 42
    Bob says:

    She got sacked

  43. 43
    The Village Idiot says:

    How long before Har*riet Harpic issues this infamous statement

    She is resigning to spend more time with her family !!!!!!

    Did nobody advise her when in a hole Stop Digging !!!!

  44. 44
    Am I deaf? says:

    Beeb saying Hattie has issued a partial apology. I didn’t hear any sort of apology.

  45. 45
    Wah Wah Wah says:

    So, reading it makes you an affiliate Pete mate??????????

    I’d stick to the songwriting if if I were you. Practice is definitely needed in that sphere.

  46. 46
    Labour Auto Attack Bot says:


  47. 47
    Cash for access Pietricia? says:

    H’ewitt has been silent, but then she is no longer an MP.

    Still culpable for her role, nevertheless.

  48. 48
    BBC Rapid Rebuttal Service says:

    It wasn’t an apology and it was an aide rather than her.

  49. 49
    General Pinochet says:

    There was only one decent Prime Minister since Churchill………..Thatcher! She was more like me than me sometimes……………..

    Viva Farage! Viva UKIP!

  50. 50
    Dead Ed says:

    Shoot the messenger.

  51. 51
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    Didn’t say she wasn’t culpable :-)

    Given that she was at NCCL the longest and oversaw all of the P.I.E. stuff she has perhaps the most to hide. Not being an MP removes her from the public eye a bit.

    H’arman’s claims that the M’ail are politically motivated are dismissed by the observation that they are also going for H’ewitt who is no longer in politics.

    QED :-)

  52. 52
    Twitter Bitchy Fight says:

  53. 53
    Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years says:

    “I’d always thought gays were regular people, just like you and me, and that the stereotype of homosexuals as hedonistic, sex-crazed deviants was just a destructive myth,” said mother of four Hannah Jarrett, 41, mortified at the sight of 17 tanned and oiled boys cavorting in jock straps to a throbbing techno beat on a float shaped like an enormous phallus. “Boy, oh, boy, was I wrong.”


  54. 54
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    Who is Pete Willie to say anything about anything? He normally blames everything on Fatcher, fat scouse twat.

  55. 55
  56. 56
    C.O.Jones says:

    Fuck off Ken – get onto the real story, it’s about Harriet Harpic.

  57. 57
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    Another scouse twat.

  58. 58
    The wallpaper won, Oscar says:

    Is it possible to be more corrupt than that old fag peedofile?

  59. 59
    Peedohs are fine if they vote Labour. Just like quires says:

    Who is Peter Willie?

    FIFY :-)

  60. 60

    Be sure to wear your incontinence pants then.

  61. 61
    Owen says:

    Oh you are awful Ian……..but I like you.

  62. 62
    Peedohs are fine if they vote Labour. Just like quires says:

    Hewitt was also responsible for children’s homes when she was in Gov.

    Over 10,000 (really, no, really) kids have gone missing from said homes since the sixties, all listed ad absconders, no one knows where they are.

    If I wrote this shit in a novel the publishers would refuse to publish on the grounds of implausibility.

    Hewitt is up to her scrawny, ragged, chicken neck. I’d be more than happy to see a noose around it.

  63. 63
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Typical BBC – they finally start reporting on the story on the same day that the allegations against Peter Bone are published (reported once, in the Times, and they put it in their news bulletins immediately), so that they can smear a Tory at the same time as they are forced to report the FACTS about Harman and the rest.

    Quite a coincidence that the Peter Bone story came out last night when her Newsnight interview was shown, I would say.

  64. 64
    Twampersand mk II says:

    Good leader, but he always sounded pissed to me.

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    CCHQ have a crack team ready to swing into action in order to ensure DC’s ultimate victory.I hear at least two news channels are trying to sign up Edwina for the campaign.It’s an ill wind etc.

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    Does Owen’s mum know he’s not in school?

  67. 67
    Twampersand mk II says:

    Yes, she was great.

    The way she smashed the opposing forces and secured a great victory is amazing.

    They never knew what hit them, those enemies of the state in Sheffield, Nottinghamshire, Yorkshire, Lancashire, Derbyshire, in fact just about anywhere they might not vote for the wicked old bitch.

  68. 68
    Edwina says:

    Would you like to see my diseased eggs?

  69. 69
    Cazual Observer 7 says:

    Can testify they do cones, but the cones are bigger. Large upside down orange / black striped dustbin like affairs.

    But to your point they do not piss about with the time it takes to do the work.

  70. 70
    Baroness Kharzee says:

    I prefer to call it a promotion.

  71. 71
    Chris 'up the chuff, fair enough' Smith says:

    I wear incompetence pants.

  72. 72
    Twampersand mk II says:

    She’s fecked. She’ll go in the next couple of weeks, in order to try to avoid prosecution for a whole raft of other shit that is going to come out. If she goes, BBC Jack will have to go as well, as he arguably held a more senior position to her.

    Hewitt should be prosecuted too. Thing is, I genuinely think that not a few judges, coppers, MPs and civil servants are sicko gayers and peedos, so the will to dig deeper is most likely not there, for fear of bring a shitstorm down on their own heads.

  73. 73
    Dave and Ed - Shit and Shyte says:

    Certainly out and out.

  74. 74
    Twampersand mk II says:

    Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Keep lying. Just keep lying. Lie. Keep lying. Please stop asking difficult questions. Lie. Lie. Please, leave it, don’t you know who I am. Lie, lie, lie.

  75. 75
    Twampersand mk II says:

    Mrs Dale is exactly the kind of person who should be excluded from public life.

    We’ve got more than enough self important quires currently fecking everything up, we don’t need any more.

    Please, piss off.

  76. 76
    Gideon 4x2 Osbourne says:

    Did someone say ‘crack’?

  77. 77
    Nigella Lawson says:

    Did someone say ‘crack’?

  78. 78
    Is it just me? says:

    This pair of adulterers are the best the Tories can find to represent them. What would grandma Bone say?

  79. 79
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    If ever Miliband gets to be Prime Minister ,he will be worst by far
    with his union paymasters pulling the strings.

  80. 80
    Dave and Ed - Shit and Shyte says:

    If you don’t like podgy poofs, you’re in the wrong place.

  81. 81
    Twampersand mk II says:

    No doubt, but people don’t bang on about how great he is for the country like they do Maggie, when the truth is that they are both nation wrecling scum.

  82. 82
    Bloke says:

    Is the old twat still shagging the old Hunt?

  83. 83
    Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

    Still managed to achieve more than all the present bunch of tossers put together stone-cold sober.

  84. 84
    Jimmy says:

    “we have to rely on a stream of verbal diarrhoea from @CCHQPress ”

    As opposed to when?

  85. 85
    Clement Attlee says:

    Me, me me!

  86. 86
    Harold Wilson says:

    Are you sure?

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