February 24th, 2014

Tory Spin-Doctor Arrested Over Alleged ‘Cannibal’ Assault Two Men Bitten in Bloody Hampshire Brawl

Adrian Yalland, a former Tory candidate and fixer for various Tory MPs has been arrested for assault after apparently biting two men during a brawl in Hampshire. The video below is alleged to show Yalland, formerly a spinner for spin shop Chelgate, attacking a man on a quiet street in Stockbridge:

Hampshire Police confirmed in a statement to Guido: “Police were called at 4.10 p.m. on Thursday, February 20 following a report of a dispute outside an address on Stockbridge High Street. A 56-year-old man and a 46-year-old man both from Stockbridge suffered minor injuries. A 44-year-old man from Marchwood was arrested on suspicion of assault. He has been bailed pending further enquiries until March 27.”

Yalland handled the press for Nigel Evans when he was charged and has worked with various MPs including Andrew Bridgen and Nadine Dorries.

  • A Tory spokesperson says: “This is a matter for the police.”
  • Nigel Evans’ office says: “I don’t think we can make any comment.”
  • Adrian Yalland was not answering his phone today.

Not the best PR spin strategy…

Video via Nadine O’Connor.

UPDATE: April 26: Yalland says the police are not pressing charges against him.


  1. 1
    Gnasher of the Yard says:

    Unless he swallowed, the claim of cannibalism would seem to be unjustifed.

  2. 2
    Tooth fairy says:

    Only half the story there.

    need any video AY took and the story before hand.

  3. 3
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Hannibal Lecter lives :-)

  4. 4
    Owen Jones says:

    i am fascist

  5. 5
    Lord Wellhard says:

    Why are political parties so infested with pervs and poofs?

  6. 6
    Ever get the feeling you've been cheated? says:

    Looks like he has bitten off more than he can chew this time

  7. 7
    The starving masses of the West India Dock Road says:

    Can he save a bit for us please?

  8. 8
    Primrose Hill Dining Circle says:

    We ate his kidney with some hypocracy pie, washed down with a nice bottle of Socialist Champagne.

  9. 9
    Cast Iron Dave says:

    In his defence there is no food bank in Stockbridge.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    worst cameraman ever.

  11. 11
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    You can tell he’s not a proper public school Tory otherwise he would have abided by the Marquis of Queensbury rules.

    Only poofs bite & scratch. He should have floored his opponents with a right hook :-)

  12. 12
    Too fast? says:

    I watched the video. Whoever was recording it deserved to get his arse kicked. Good on you Yalland (whoever you are).

  13. 13
    All the world says:

    A spun spinner.

  14. 14
    Read it and weep, righties says:

  15. 15
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    When are Labour going to start a cost of champagne crisis? :-)

  16. 16
    eb56gh says:

    Scratching/biting is a girl’s way of fighting. Get youuu.

  17. 17
    jgm2 says:

    I think he did that first.

  18. 18
    Rabid Lefty says:

    Saves going to a food bank.

  19. 19
    David Bailley says:

    It’s authentic. One of the problems of the many fake You Tube clips is that we make assumptions as to how clear real picyures from the public should look like.

  20. 20
    Claude Greengrass says:

    Must be the bloke who filmed the Bourne Ultimatum.

  21. 21
    UKIP Voter says:

    The Swivel eyed loons are in the Conservative party.

  22. 22
    The Duke says:

    You’re a bed-wetting arse, that’s what you are.

  23. 23
    Psychopath Watch says:

    I saw nothing that justified violence

  24. 24
    Oversexed liar says:

    Does that make my girlfriend a cannibal?

  25. 25
    M102 says:

    Makes a nice change from hearing about them pillow biting.

  26. 26
  27. 27

    I feel sorry for anybody who couldn’t sort that fat c-nt out without whining for the police !

  28. 28
    Chris Smith Predatory Gayer says:

    Imagine if it was me doing the biting

  29. 29
    Tory Big Girl's Blouse watch says:

    A couple of little scratches? FFS get worse than that doing the pruning.

    Looks more like a sissy fight using phone cameras.

  30. 30
    This country is getting ridiculous says:

    Why on earth are the police involved in a playground scrap, haven’t they got better things to do like fighting crime?

  31. 31
    Little boys should be seen but not heard says:

    I see the Cubans have sent some soldiers to help in the socialist paradise you visited, I presume that’s just to be an honour guard for ceremony that’s going on.

  32. 32
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Without having heard the other side of the story, it nevertheless looks like a crime took place to me.

  33. 33
    C.O.Jones says:

    That election was rigged with the state media lying about Henrique Capriles – so much for your so called democracy you twat!

  34. 34
    The Gay Plague carrier says:

    I’d be straight down the hospital demanding bloodtests, antibiotics and rabies jabs if it was Chris Smith

  35. 35
    Count Dracula says:

    I agree. For all we know, the two alleged victims might have bitten each other.

  36. 36
    Andy Burnham says:

    Never mind the Champagne what about the glasses.
    Have you seen the price of crystal flower vases these days?

  37. 37
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Plod are too busy claiming £400,000 compo for stress.

    Awww diddums :-)

  38. 38
    Crimeland says:

    Most things can be inflated into crime, fortunately most things are not.

  39. 39
    Fidel says:

    No, it is because they are experts in torture and killing people.

  40. 40
    Mitch says:

    Aren’t Yelland and Nigel Evans a bit old to be getting so “physical”?

  41. 41
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    There doesn’t appear to be any evidence of an assault in that camera footage, for all we know the camerman might haven tripped over and grazed his hands on the pavement.

  42. 42
    Gristly says:

    In the absence of a food bank, and I doubt there is one in Stockbridge, what is a hungry fellow supposed to do?

  43. 43
    Another liar says:

    She likes my meat?

  44. 44
    Anonymong says:

    Only poofs bite & scratch.


  45. 45
    Maqboul says:

    There’s never a kebab shop around when you need one.

  46. 46
    Another liar says:

    The photo above is of Dom Jolly, so it could all be a spoof?

  47. 47
    Anonymong says:

    They do have good teeth. They should start biting instead of shooting.

  48. 48
    Barman at House of Commons says:

    I recognise this bloke

    Funny chap

  49. 49
    Anonymong says:

    Somerset would still have flooded.

  50. 50
    Anonymong says:

    Lose weight.

  51. 51
    Plod are strange creatures says:

    But when the plod were faced with a Muslim who threatened to cut their dicks off and blow them up, they let him go to attack unemployment staff with a knuckleduster.


  52. 52
    Judge Dreadful says:


    It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hang him.

  53. 53
    Sport Says: Tory Zombie Cannibal on Magic Mushrooms Ate My Dad says:

    By the look of the fat b’stard, he’s been living the life large on the Westminster Trough, too much fat and not enough lean!

  54. 54
    Gerbil 7 says:

    Baroness Ashton in Ukraine.
    What could go wrong.

  55. 55
    Gerbil 7 says:

    Can the Foreign Secretary say “a chink of light”?

  56. 56
    Mitch says:

    Funny haha, or funny strange?

  57. 57
    altruism in industry says:

    I read somewhere that if a dog goes for you that if you punch your arm down it’s throat it will suffocate.

  58. 58
    Strictly Speaking says:

    Some of this is “alleged”, not “confirmed”.

  59. 59
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Ref: the bail out of the criminal banks to the tune of £1.5 trillion of OUR money is the biggest confidence trick in our financial history.

    Hear ! Hear !

  60. 60
    Fingers crossed says:

    We can only hope

  61. 61
    jgm2 says:

    Aye. Stress after the fucker nearly frightened an elderly motorist to death by beating the shit out of his car with his truncheon.

    And then claimed ‘stress’ because everybody was taking the piss out of him.

    Which is galling enough. But what is utterly fucking incomprehensible is that he was awarded the money.

    Will he be sharing it 50/50 with the motorist?

  62. 62
    Mitch says:

    Isn’t that where it’s teeth are??

  63. 63
    Chinese cultural advisor says:

    As long as he doesn’t squint his eyes and pull buck teeth while he’s saying it.

  64. 64
    Dom Jolly says:

    I’m on the phone.


    Naaaah. It’s rubbish.

  65. 65
    Anonymong says:

    Someone will throw a saddle over her back.

  66. 66
    Barbara Woodhouse says:

    Yes but you lose your arm in the process. Far better to shoot it dead or say SIT!.

  67. 67
    Dracula says:

    It’s love at first bite.

  68. 68
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Nor did Mr O’Connor complain (on audio) about being bitten when he went back into the house. Scrolling down the linked page on Ms O’Connor’s site, it looks as if there is a bit of history to this one …

  69. 69
    altruism in industry says:

    I understood the idea to be that it can’t bite your throat while it is chewing your arm and it will probably be more concerned with not been able to breath than lunch anyway.

  70. 70
    Poor Hapless Taxpayer says:

    The dr1ver also got an award as well as the poor plod.

    You couldnt fuking make it up…

    Mr Whatley won a £20,000 payout from the police over the damage caused to his Range Rover.
    He was later ordered to pay £235 after being found guilty of speeding and failing to stop for police.


  71. 71
    Dave Cameron says:

    I don’t remember him at Eton.

  72. 72
    Prince Philip says:

    Why not?

  73. 73
    Ever get the feeling you've been cheated? says:

    He’ll be biting down on something else in Jail

  74. 74
    Lost in the wilderness says:

    Don’t know who he is. The title of the article implies he is employed as a spin doctor, or employed otherwise by the Conservatives. The text suggest he was a spin doctor/employed by the Conservatives. The text suggestes he attacked the otherparty, yet I see no evidence to support that. He may or may not be a shit but this i pretty poor this time.

  75. 75
    jgm2 says:

    Give it your left arm* (it will hurt) – then fall on its chest with your knees.

    Smashes a few ribs, with a bit of luck punctures a lung.

    Either way it fucks ‘em right up.

    * Advice I got while delivering newspapers – the fuckers used to love chasing cyclists – best to feed them a bicycle pump before you kick them in the balls and then go in and crush their chest with your knees.

  76. 76
    Trouble in the East says:

    Be ready for the ‘lights to go out all across Europe’ that unelected trougher has the potential to kick off WWIII. Now that Putin has declared the change of government an armed coup he’ll be getting in his revenge early. Way it’s going they’ll be a civil war and then a split of the country. Don’t worry we’ll print more cash we don’t have to fund it.

  77. 77
    On yer bike says:

    Don’t see any complaints about the £1.3 trillion that Liebour kicked it of with, but then you must be a lefty and believe the whitewash that comes from Liebour command headquarters, but I do agree with the gist of what your trying to comment about tho.

  78. 78
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The footage is nowhere near as good as the Ian Dale one at Brighton with that protester and his dog :-)

  79. 79
    Alpha male says:

    It souunds like Sir William Wayde was involved

    His neck of the woods as well…

  80. 80
    New footage of Yalland 5 minutes before the "assault" says:

  81. 81
    Eric 'Let Them Eat Cake' Pickles says:

    Nadineeeeeee save meeeeee nadineeeeeeeeeeee

    guy sounds like a right limp wristed twat lol.

  82. 82
    When I feel down I play that clip to cheer myself up says:

    Comedy gold

  83. 83
    Gordon Brown says:

    It all started in the USA – Uther Side of Accrington

  84. 84
    Caligula says:

    This is all getting out of hand

    In my day we had gladiators and fair play

    This is animal behaviour which destroys societies

    Do you want to become like Ukraine?

  85. 85
    Mitch says:

    Why do Conservatives think that extreme violence is the answer to anything?

    Although there is the Prescott punch incident..

  86. 86
    Shaun says:

    And thus the zombie apocalypse begins..

  87. 87
    Tom Badwind says:

    Did you say cannibal or cannabis ?

  88. 88
    The Chinese, A Great Bunch of Lads says:

    My favourite China men

    Robert Morley in Genghis Khan
    James Mason in Genghis Khan
    Peter Sellers in Murder by Death
    Peter Ustinov in One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing
    Christopher Lee in The Face of Fu Manchu

  89. 89
    jgm2 says:

    It looks like the kind of injury that would ensue if you were subject to a choke hold from behind.

  90. 90
    Maria Miller says:

    Have I resigned yet?

  91. 91
    Sally no knickers says:

    Morals of an ally cat

    I love it

    Right on Shagger

    I’m behind you

    Join the Labour Party

    Innocent grin

  92. 92
    Billy the child says:

    That’s all we need , Ashton going on a visit and Billy trying to be serious about something that’s beyond his going to see if the beer is ok in that country.

  93. 93
    We hate (nearly) everyone in Westminster says:


  94. 94
    Ed Miliband says:

    Happy Days

  95. 95
    Ever get the feeling you've been cheated? says:

    What cracks me up about that footage is the mans own dog is biting him during the scuffle.

  96. 96
    altruism in industry says:

    yes I too had one particular dog that would lie in wait for me every day. I only had a few papers to deliver but they were far apart from each other so I used to outpace it on my bike, only had to have the tetanus shot once.

  97. 97
    History says:

    And mass murder of Stal!n, H!tler, Mao, Pol Pot, and various other regimes which are on the left, up to and including Labour under Bla!r in !raq…

  98. 98
    Sally no knickers says:

    There are people who need to have their dicks cut off

    As you elegantly say

    But our noddies should be left in peace

  99. 99
    altruism in industry says:

    ps. I doubt falling on a rottweiler would have much effect.

  100. 100
    Lard Everard says:

    Why would you do something so stupid ?

  101. 101
    Questions of our time says:

    Are the Tories going to make a meal of this, or let Y’alland get his just desserts ?

  102. 102
    Cast Iron Dave says:


  103. 103
    bergen says:

    This used to be normal behaviour of one local rugby team that I remember from my youth. Always lots of non availabilities when we played them.

  104. 104
    Gerbil 7 says:

    Yes but it was rigged so the ‘right’ candidate won, which is fine.

  105. 105
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Yes the poor dog after long suffering years of being dragged around in the rain & snow with a placard stuck to his back saw his chance for revenge :-)

  106. 106
    Socialist Thoughts says:

    I want to control everything

  107. 107
    The slippery slope says:

  108. 108
    jgm2 says:

    Further comedy gold.

  109. 109
    jgm2 says:

    You’ve got a free hand. Pull its fucking nuts off.

  110. 110
    Dodgy D. Laws says:

    Agreed. I just ‘took a back seat’ for a while, if you’ll pardon the pun.

  111. 111
    David Cameron, 2015 Campaign Video says:

  112. 112
    Nadine "I'm married to a sissy" OConnor says:

    Wow, what a great press release you’ve concocted there – hope Yalland sues you for libel – most of that should be “alleged” rather than a “statement of fact”.

    All the video shows is Yalland texting on his phone, and then your whinging husband falling over his own feet, probably biting himself in the process, and then trying to re-enter his own house – well done on locking him out, though!

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Does anyone know what happened before the filming commenced?

    There is reference to a break in and some kind of discussion involving a child.

    The way they both clutch their camera phones during the whole thing is very Black Mirror, very internet dependent. How utterly depressing.

  114. 114
    Post enrichment Romsey says:

  115. 115
    Johnny says says:

    It did go wrong. She was there a couple of months ago, mingling with the protesters.

    Reuters: Police clash with protesters on Independence Square

    The caption reads “High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy for the European Union Catherine Ashton (R) and one of the leaders of the Ukrainian opposition Arseniy Yatsenyuk (L) visit a protesters camp on the Independence Square in Kiev on December 10, 2013. AFP PHOTO/ SERGEI SUPINSKY”

  116. 116
    Bonar Law says:

    No, NOT “A Tory spokesperson says …” That’s Lib-Lab politically correct baloney. You mean, “A Tory spokesman says …”

  117. 117
    Dave Cameron says:

    One more Chinese chap and they can write the manifesto

  118. 118
    VK says:

    Looks like an even fatter Dom Joly

  119. 119
    Jack says:

    Thunderclap migraines

    That sounds right up Flower Power’s street

    Does the Tory Party have to retain candidates like this?

    He looks like an oligarch’-s bodyguard

    How low can politics in the UK fall?

  120. 120
    80s pub comic says:

    So anyway, two poofs and a bird who likes peeedos walk in to a bar…

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Errrrr…..it’s called assault, which is a crime last time I looked.

  122. 122
    Mitch says:

    Hahahahah! Clearly, one of the Eagle brothers gave that dr1ver the Death Stare :-)

  123. 123
    Sochi Long Jump says:

  124. 124
    Harriet says:


  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    You obviously never been to Bristol

  126. 126
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    There should be a Glasgow drunkeness scale going from paralytic to Eric Joyce.

    And a Glasgow nutter scale going from psycho to Gordon Brown :-)

  127. 127
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You guys could almost be talking about politicians.

  128. 128
    jgm2 says:

    We also have the Bristol Stool scale, presumably because Bristol is so fucking shit.

    Do you think we could introduce the ‘Brighton Homosexuality Scale’ ranging from 1 – 10

    Where 1 is ‘Not even slightly bi-curious’ to 10 – ‘Makes John Inman look macho’

  129. 129
    Mitch says:

    The scratches on the hand suggest a fall, not a bite.

  130. 130
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  131. 131
    Mmmm says:

    Is that BBQ sauce?

  132. 132
    Táxpáyér says:

    Putin will kill the EUSSR.

    I do like him, even if he is a corrupt wanker.

  133. 133
    Blowing Whistles says:

    two pie eating dogs and two pie eating bitches or four blind retarded ….

  134. 134
    jgm2 says:

    Stop anthropomorphising the politicians.

  135. 135
    Jimmy says:

    Isn’t that how people become righties?

  136. 136
    David Cameron, Gayracula says:

  137. 137
    Is this any better? says:

  138. 138
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Good day, remember this government hates and wants to kill all poor people.

  139. 139
    Let's feel sorry for him.. says:

    Did she go round Nigel Evans’ place?

  140. 140
    jgm2 says:

    The scratches and bite suggest he was put into a head-lock from behind. So, naturally enough, not wishing to be choked to death he bit the fucker.

  141. 141
    Ed Miliballotbox says:

    So with the inbuilt advantage due to gerymandered seats, fake postal votes, personation and having returning officers beholden to the Labour-controlled local authorities they are chief executives of, what are we looking at here?

    An 80 seat majority?

  142. 142
    Táxpáyér says:

    It startedin AIG in London thanks to gordo brown.

    You can google it.

  143. 143
    Ah! jgm2 says:

    To complete your education.

    Google the Bristol Scale.

  144. 144
  145. 145
  146. 146
    No Jimmy says:

    Some facts from the Khmer Rouge (who were left of center):


    ‘The court heard that beatings with rattans, the use of pincers to pull nails, noses and ear lobes, electrocution and suffocation were common after Cambodians were forced into the countryside amid fears by paranoid ultra-Maoists that the cities had become nerve centers for enemies of the Khmer Rouge.

    At Sre Ambel, laborers toiled in fields until their legs were eaten away by salt water. But far more grisly forms of torture persisted, including disembowelment and acts of cannibalism. One prisoner had his feet nailed to a board and was ordered to sing while he was beaten. Others had their gall bladders removed, which were then taken to the kitchen. Children aged as young as two or three were swung by their feet and their heads smashed into a tamarind tree.’

  147. 147
    C.O.Jones says:

    I once gave myself a Chinese burn on my dick!

  148. 148
    C.O.Jones says:

    Oops, was going to give myself another handle for that post!

  149. 149
    jgm2 says:

    See earlier reply above.

  150. 150
    C.O.Jones says:


    (how is that for a cover up)?

  151. 151
    Gooey Blob says:

    Tories are now going on the offensive and attacking Red Ed directly. I guess they’ve decided it’s now too late for Labour to change their leader, but is it?

    There’s no doubt Ed is the Tories’ greatest asset and the prospect of him becoming PM will prevent Labour winning. However, it’s a dangerous game to play while Labour still have time to come to their senses and choose a leader with PM potential. Labour still haven’t realised how much trouble they’re in while Ed is in place.

    Time will tell.

  152. 152
    Blowing Whistles says:

    perhaps the politicians will introduce a law to silence dissenters – if they feel harassed in any way … oh wait a minute didn’t blunkett somewhat front up on that kinda thing a few weeks ago?

  153. 153
    Socialist regimes throughout the 20th centuryjgm2 says:

    It was the right thing to do.

  154. 154
    Other Socialist Thoughts says:

    Bind, torture, kill … ;-)

  155. 155
    Jimmy says:

    That doesn’t sound very reasonable to me

  156. 156
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Aren’t you just a front for the establishment as are the opposition?

  157. 157
    Gooey Blob says:

    Then start by sacking Ed Miliband, he’s worse than useless.

  158. 158
    jgm2 says:


    It was all Fatcha’s fault!

  159. 159
    Casual Observer 8 says:

    MF Global affair of the ‘missing’ $1.5bn was an interesting case:


    All was not as it first appeared, and was quickly smeared…

  160. 160
    Jimmy says:

    Sadly the identities of the Khmer Reasonable was a secret she took to the gave.

  161. 161
    Airey Belvoir says:

    If a dog has you on the ground, pulling its legs out 90 degrees sideways will settle its hash.

  162. 162
    Morgan's Organ says:

    Not to mention a bug and kangaroo ball eating MP from Bedfordshire

  163. 163
    Maqboul says:


  164. 164
    Jimmy says:

    “the South East Conservatives.”

    What other kind is there?

  165. 165
    BBC says:

    What we usually recommend when someone is caught with their pants down is to try and distract eveyone with something Middle Eastern.

    Ooooooh look. There’s Tony Blair. I wonder what he’s found?

  166. 166
    Maqboul says:

    Give it your left arm (preferably wrapped in something). As it sinks it’s teeth in you lift it up exposing its belly. If you have a knife you can rip it.

    If you don’t, you’ll be lunch, PAL.

  167. 167
    jgm2 says:

    Fatcha supported the Khmer Rouge!!!

    She made the Khmer Rouge kill 1/3 of the population!

    It was all Fatcha’s fault!

  168. 168
    EU and US puppet masters says:

    We’ll make sure the ‘right’ candidate wins in the Ukraine this time.

  169. 169
    Jimmy says:

    That’s unfair. She only supported the reasonable ones, as she makes clear in this hard hitting interview.

  170. 170
    jgm2 says:

    That’s right. She supported the Khmer Rouge.

    It wouldn’t have happened but for Fatcha’s support.

    It’s all Fatcha’s fault.

  171. 171
    Whatever Happened to Sweet? says:

    “Had his feet nailed to a board and was ordered to sing while he was beaten.”
    Then Graham Coxon lip-synched the recording for Blur’s new hit single.

  172. 172

    Reblogged this on Reblogged Blogs and commented:
    Hmmm I thought these spin doctors were sharks but I didn’t think they actually bit!

  173. 173
    pootle says:

    If you listen he says “the bastard bit me”

  174. 174
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The comment at box 154 – was oddly enough pointed at Davey money no object wiydboy camoron earlier – then all of a sudden it wasn’t.

  175. 175
    Sanna says:

    Amazing and some funny cameras footage . The camera footage, for all we know the camerman might haven tripped over and grazed his hands on the pavement. The video of burka girls looking very funny . I really enjoyed it.

  176. 176
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Must be my ears – I thought he said “hit me”

  177. 177
    Try Mon B O says:

    =Camden Set scale. Anyone for champagne, and is it unions or bankers today?

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