February 21st, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Awkward Ed Moments Part 94)


  1. 1
    Hulk Brogan says:

    Told by a pollster to embrace the electorate, Ed Miliband took the instruction too literally

    • 55
      Welly Wanger says:

      Mrs. Spock’s attempt to mind-meld with Ed Miliband failed when she couldn’t find one….

      • 83
        Owen Jones says:


        • 178
          Maon on Clapham Omnibus says:

          Now if just take THIS head off and replace it with his brother’s …

          • Qui Bono says:

            Woman 1: I can hear something rattling when I shake it, but it looks empty.
            Woman 2: its it properly inflated?
            Woman 1: I’ve thrown away the receipt so we’re stuck with it.
            Woman 2: What was it supposed to be anyway ?
            Woman 1: According to the instructions, it’s a dynamic leadership figure which will breathe new life into failed labour policies and win us the next election
            All: ………….er, …………well, ………..er, can we get its brother or has I still got its panties in a bunch?

        • 210
          Nigel S says:

          For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. Isaiah 50:7

    • 120
      Knee Trembler says:

      That’s what you call a front bench.

      • 128
        The Great British Public says:

        Ed, I remember when we first met 35 yrs ago with Harriet Harman, we kissed with tongues just like this….

    • 125
      Reader says:

      Guido, do you mind?

      I am trying to digest my lunch.

    • 135
      Fussy eater says:

      I usually go for red heads not a Red Ed.

    • 164
      Anonymous says:

      Ed wins “The most J3wish Nose” competition.

      • 222
        Fees Office Clerk says:

        Labour Delegate: “Giv us a kiss luv”

        Ed Miliband: “Get your filthy working class hands off me”

  2. 2
    Ed Green says:

    Not sure if its a man or a woman – caption is a thought bubble from the elderly lady in white.

  3. 3
    Tony Balmforth says:

    Mama told me there’d be days like this…

  4. 4
    Uknowitmakessense says:

    David! You taste of champagne!

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Alan Johnson pleased to see Beaker

  6. 6
    Blagger Watch says:

    HIV positive women determined to spread the luuuurve.

  7. 7
    Crisp Ackham says:

    Justine’s really let herself go

  8. 8
    The Boss says:

    That bigoted woman again.

  9. 9
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Ed: ‘Is my microphone switched off? Good. What a slag.’

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Fell out of the Ugly Tree” convention reveals the top three winners

  11. 11
    S'ickipedia says:

    Millband mistakes woman for Stephanie Flanders but had already taken part in complimentary fluid exchange.

  12. 12
    Peter Ellis says:

    Cougars !

  13. 13
    Koba says:

    Ed: “The poor leave an awful aftertaste”

  14. 14
    Taxpayer says:

    Unemployed Stella from Liverpool offers her body to Ed if he pledges to reverse Tory welfare reforms

  15. 15
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Ten hours later, Ed and the whole world found the photos on http://www.doggingpoliticians.com/naked/tiedtoalamppost/

  16. 16
    Sally Bercow says:

    One rule for men another rule for women. Fucking typical!

  17. 17
    mekondelta says:

    I’ve always loved you David..!

  18. 18
    RomaBob.... working hard for you! says:

    FFS No tongues !

  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    All women shortlist pick another couple of talented candidates

  20. 20
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed’s idea of a threesome

  21. 21
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Ed returns to boom and bust.

  22. 22
    Ed Miliband says:

    I thought the ‘parachute club’ was to guarantee a Labour MP, not to guarantee a jump FFS.

  23. 23
    Cap Shone says:

    White Dee and Ed, together at last.

  24. 24
    IDS says:

    Ed denies that he has any spare bedrooms to strange woman.

  25. 25
    Cap Shone says:

    Is that Blair’s daughter Kathryn on the left? Christ, she’s let herself go.

  26. 26
    Philip Hammond says:

    Rachel ?

  27. 27
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed discovers there’s a third Eagle sister.

  28. 28
    Cap Shone says:

    Two huge tits, and a redhead with large breasts.

  29. 30
    Ed Miliband says:

    Quick…someone call International Rescue.

  30. 31
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed puckers up for Gillian Duffy.

  31. 32
    Ed Miliband says:

    “Are you k’osher?”

  32. 34
    Wonderin star says:

    All this to get prime position at the trough, ugh!

  33. 35
    Cradders says:

    They told her Ed does tongues

  34. 36
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed: “I just want you to know, I loved you as Pat Butcher on Eastenders”.

  35. 37
    Bill Quango MP says:

    “On a hot summer night would you offer your throat
    to the wuss with the Red ‘Ed’ roses?”

  36. 38
    hag says:

    Look into my eyes,not around the eyes.

  37. 39

    I just love you in your wellies.

  38. 40
    Its Those Young Liberals says:

    Miliband has his daily photo with a women. Got a bit too close up.

  39. 41
    Justine says:

    Too far, too fast.

  40. 42
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    Call the anti bullying helpline!


  41. 43
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed can’t believe his luck when he pulls two hotties at the Labour conference.

  42. 44
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Ed Thinks

    “Hancock was right! These mental ones are easy”

  43. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Ed “Christ what a difference, Blair gets the babes, & Milliband gets the Munters.”

  44. 46

    Dyson Test Facility Annual Dance.

  45. 47
    C.O.Jones says:

    Lady to Ed “Ooh I’ve never seen a circumcised one,go on let me have a peep”

  46. 48
    Cap Shone says:

    In the background, Owen Jones looks on in envy at the lucky woman embracing Ed.

  47. 49

    Woman: That is exactly what Jimmy Savile did to me!

  48. 50
    Cap Shone says:

    Blair’s daughter turns up to conference fatter than ever.


  49. 51
    Hideously Dyke says:

    Do you like my Red nail polish?

  50. 52
    Anonymous says:

    A kiss where the sun don’t shine


    I’ll fill yer boots for you!

  51. 53

    PIE local get together.

  52. 54
    The Met Office says:

    Ed’s wettest kiss since records began.

  53. 56
    Cap Shone says:

    White Dee declares her love to Ed.

  54. 57
    Dan Bowler says:

    Ed wasn’t good at playing “snog, marry, avoid”

  55. 58

    Labour idea of a threesome.

  56. 59

    Ed’s left finger brings her to the peak.

  57. 60
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Auntie Ruth says

    “oh look at him, Zena! Little Ed ! All grown up. How are you? Happy Bar Mitzvah!
    Uncle Lenny is here! he’s got your gift.. Ohhh how does it feel to be a man? Your Cousin Sarah is here too…I’ll bring her over .. Awww…look at him Zena! So cute ..give your aunties a big kiss!..”

  58. 61
    Anon says:

    Deep in his Star Trek boxers, Ed could feel the force rising

  59. 62
    the oral Herpes society says:

    Well done shelia you got him

  60. 63
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed: “David’s getting models in New York, and this is what I get here”.

  61. 64
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Treble bagger meets treble chinner.

  62. 65

    If I kiss you, I’m afraid I want your gold – because Gordon lost the lot.

  63. 67
    Skeleton bob says:

    Ed: God, I hope she doesn’t notice my semi.

  64. 68
    John Prescott says:

    I had the same problem. Women literally throwing themselves at me.

  65. 69
    Minister for Equalities and Diversity says:

    You need to learn how to Hongi with your bulbous Honker, we have a Cock Dodging Maori who wants to meet you.

  66. 71
    Let's enjoy this again says:

  67. 72
    Ed Millibandwagon says:

    It’s too late, I’ve already arrived

  68. 73
    walking into darkness says:

    I don’t fancy yours much

  69. 74
    Peter Grimes says:

    Give us a kiss, Ed, you are much better looking than that Adam Boulton who just left my nice hotel room.

  70. 75
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me.

  71. 76
    Fuctivino says:

    You promised me you would share your last Rollo…now spit it out…spit it out…NOW!

  72. 77
    alexei says:

    Oh God the sex last night was fantastic!

  73. 78
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sally has let herself go. *innocent face*

  74. 79
    any old crap says:

    And this is my mum!.

  75. 80
    Bill Quango MP says:

    “Damn it! I knew I phoned the wrong order. 2 MILFs was what I wanted … not 2 matures”

  76. 81
    jgm2 says:

    You broke my heart Fredo.

  77. 82
    Rickytshirt says:

    Ed decides whether or not to go french.

  78. 84
    Like UK Floods... says:

    … this was easily preventable.

    • 93
      Ellie-Mae (9) says:

      Ed Balls was easily preventable too….I’m looking at you Mr & Mrs Balls snr

    • 174
      The Critic says:

      Mr Speaker, Mr Speaker,

      Opportunism! Opportunism! My less than honourable friend could not give a flying f**k about flooding until he saw it happening in a few marginals, just like his boss.

      PS If he is that bothered, why did he work for McRuin, who cut the EA budget?

  79. 85
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Gillian Duffy! How nice to see you

  80. 87
    Tracy from the Isle of Dogs says:

    My long lost son. Is it you?

  81. 88
    Steve Miliband says:

    Stupid pucker

  82. 89
    Andrew Efiong says:

    She’s not exactly Wendi Deng, is she?

  83. 90
    Steve Miliband says:

    I did not have thex with that woman

  84. 91

    Both simultaneously: I suppose a fuck’s out of the question?

  85. 92
    Radio Bollocks says:

    “I’ll do anything for the Lesbian Vote”.

  86. 95
    Clause IV says:

    The one on the left is next

  87. 96
    Fat Slag says:

    Mr Murdoch sent me.

  88. 97

    …and this one is Bob Crow’s mum kissing the party leader of the day…

  89. 99
    Oxford Vs Cambridge 2015 says:

    The Lady Major was told she has to kiss the cock of the winning team.

  90. 100
    TFL says:

    Bob Crow knew he’d pull at Conference wearing his lucky shirt.

  91. 101
  92. 102
    François Hollande says:

    Quel plonkeur!

  93. 104
    Bored says:

    José Manuel Barroso gives Ed a warm portuguese welcome.

  94. 106
    verticalwater says:

    Is it grab a Grammy night?

  95. 108
    Ed Miliband circa May 2015 says:

    Not tonight darling, I’m still very tired after fucking the UK.

  96. 109
    Cougar says:

    Your nose op certainly makes you LOOK more like David.

  97. 114
    Common Purpose Initiate says:

    Eyes wide shut

  98. 115
    The Great British Public says:

    Ed’s first ever French kiss caught in film… Embaressing…

  99. 117
    Ethel of Purley says:

    I thought he would swallow!

  100. 118


  101. 119
    Dignitas says:

    we’ve found a cheaper way to help old people without flying them to Switzerland, thanks Ed

  102. 122
    Village Idiot says:

    …Ed;…..This will cure my premature ejaculation problem….discard the Stud spray!….(the very thought)

  103. 126
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    This picture is seriously worrying.
    There’s a vacant ‘the lights are on, but no-one is home’ stare of the red head on the left.
    The older one is that infatuated with Ed she’s practically exchanging dribble with him.

    And they both have the vote….

  104. 127
    Davy Bowlegs says:

    The one on the left: “Madame, kindly put him down – you don’t know where he has been”.

  105. 130
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Do also given ‘ed, David?

  106. 132
    The Great British Public says:

    Ed enjoys the benefits of the job as often as he can.

  107. 132
    When politicians clutch children you know they are on their way out... says:

    Daley Thompson has put one a bit of weight

    • 150
      BBC Spokesman says:

      As these protests are neither anti-capitalist or pro-EU, there nothing of interest here, please move on

  108. 134
    (optional) says:

    My bingo wings have a thing about you, Ed.

  109. 136
    altruism in industry says:

    first beer then this

  110. 138
    Falkirk Fanny says:

    Climax in UNISON

  111. 139
    The Critic says:

    Short sighted woman gets the shock of her life.

  112. 141
    Lady says:

    I thought so, you didn’t wash behind your ears this morning.

  113. 142
    Soaked Beaver says says:

    Gypsy Rosy Lee chooses the wrong crystal Balls to gaze into

  114. 143
    Lurch to the Left says:

    Ed Miliband denies Labour’s desperate fundraising attempts as he charges £10 a snog

  115. 144
    Lady says:

    Good God. It is plasticine!

  116. 146
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Get yer coat lad yerv pulled !!

  117. 148
    Billy Connonnonnonnelly says:


  118. 149
    François Hollande says:

    I pulled a stunning blonde actress and everyone took the piss.

    But look at him! Those fuglies wouldn’t get near the Elysee Palace

  119. 152
    geordieboy says:

    Give us a kiss Ed I want to be sick.

  120. 153
    Perv says:

    “Don’t you remember me from the Xmas party, I’m the one you had with my arse on the photocopier.”

  121. 154
    Anonymous says:

    “Have you been eating Wensleydale?”

  122. 155
    Sleazy Slim says:

    Please dribble in my mouth.

  123. 156
    Anne Arquist says:

    Miliband visits St Sunstan’s…

  124. 157
    Larry SilverStein says:

    Prospective parliamentary candidate kisses ass to get on the party’s female shortlist

  125. 158
    Ed Balls says:

    Too far, foo fast.

  126. 159

    The poor get sucked into benefits.

  127. 160

    So, there is a picture of a threesome

  128. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Yep, a total void in there

  129. 163
    Bingo says:


  130. 166
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    The Shreck of Araby.

  131. 167
    Maimed Cadger says:

    Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end.—
    O churl, drunk all, and left no friendly drop
    To help me after? I will kiss thy lips

  132. 169
    Graham says:

    First Sally Bercow , now Ed Miliband.

  133. 170
    frank says:

    “Stitch That!”

    Or Glasgow reps make their feelings known…

  134. 171
    Anonymous says:

    MILF !
    (Miliband I’d…)

  135. 172
    RomaBob.... working hard for you! says:

    Where’s Sue? She’s done it again!

  136. 173
    Lee Matthews says:

    Eduado, why you no lika mamma’s lasagna

  137. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Would you mind just cheerleading instead of this.

  138. 176
    Demos says:

    Do ya wanna bit of me chewy?

  139. 177
    bergen says:

    Frankly my dear I couldn’t give a damn.

  140. 180

    Just another day at the Office

  141. 181

    do you two girls fancy coming back to my place for a spot of wallpapering?

  142. 182

    I never say No but issue with time management

  143. 183

    of course I love you (presses phone number in other woman’s hand)

  144. 184

    I can read your mind

  145. 185

    wait a minute, its all blank, how does that work?

  146. 186
    Barry says:

    Now, whatever you do don’t open your eyes.

  147. 187

    no tongue my partner’s really firm on that point

  148. 188

    you are right Ed there is hair hanging out your nose

  149. 189

    I have another trick that can keep your ears warm

  150. 190

    how many times do I have to tell you I am not David

  151. 191
    Liberace's wig says:

    “I’m afraid I don’t know what a skull fucking is. Labour membership anyone, anyone?”

  152. 192
    Snap - Captured For Eternity says:

    Liebour chap, I think, gets carried away with the boss.

  153. 193
    Kenny Craig says:

    Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around my eyes, look into my eyes, you’re under.

    The last 17 years of NuLiebour’s catastrophe UK, never happened!

  154. 194
    The Love of The NuLiebour Rose Thorns says:

    An old favourite drifts into the often empty head of Miliband the younger.

  155. 195
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Fuck me….I thought that was Rosie for a minute…John would have done his nut :-)

  156. 196
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Ed Miliband mistakes resident nutter for Rosie Winterton.

  157. 198
    Daft bat in White says:

    You hold his hand and I will pull his mask off, then you will see he is not a lizard but a toad.

  158. 199
    i don't need no doctor says:

    Labour’s version of martyrdom, Ed Miliband gets the first of his twenty-four socialist virgins.

  159. 203
    Mother Clap says:

    Founding partners kiss to celebrate the opening of London’s latest “molly house”
    just before one of them gets out of his stuffy suit.

  160. 204
    Celia says:

    oh Ed, you can have ALL my postal votes!

  161. 205
    Clickety- Click - He is stupid dick! says:

    Mad Jean celebrates her win with the New Bingo Caller.

  162. 207
    U have 2 be innit 2 binnit. says:

    Eyes down for Ed the Clown. Bingo!

  163. 208
    James says:

    Call me a biggot like the last one and i’ll bring you down…capeesh?

  164. 209
    Legal Landlord says:

    Oh David , you are so much better looking than your brother Ed !!!!

  165. 211
    Anonymous says:

    Mothers 4 Mossad endorse their latest plant on the western world

  166. 212
    sochispecial says:

    The snowballing gets a little out of hand…

  167. 213
    Brown Jogs to the bogs says:

    Betty is delighted with her prize. Second place in the raffle!

  168. 214
    Forced to feel old before my time! says:

    Stupid Auld Socialist Bag thinks its David Miliband!

  169. 215
    Not quite sure of Ed says:

    “I bet David never had to kiss any of these munters.”

  170. 216
    The Kisser says:

    Oh David, let me stare into your eyes! You were always going to be a better leader than that loser Ed……

  171. 217
    Ed (to himself) says:

    Why do lezzies never look like the birds in my porno movies?

    • 220
      Anonymous says:

      I would expect Ed to only
      w@nk over photos of Karl Marx and trade union subscription mandates.

  172. 219
    Anonymous says:

    At least his partner won’t
    make a fool of herself chastising Gove like Bercow did…

  173. 221
    MIKE OX no longer HARD says:

    Millicock pulls at a singles night for Blair Babes

  174. 223
    Harry Krishna says:

    That not giving me head Ed, do it properly!

  175. 226
    John says:

    Get yer tongue in there Ed. After all you need the votes and she looks like one of your voters.

    Look on the bright side – at least it’s not Harriet… or Len McClusky’s arsehole…

    • 231
      Dark Baron Manglesbums of Boys in the County of Pant says:

      “Len McClusky’s arsehole…”

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooo, really, can you imagine!

      Not a hint of back sack and crack wax.

  176. 227
    Anonymous says:

    Friday Caption Contest: Kiss of life meets kiss of death?

  177. 228
    geordieboy says:

    This is a kiss from white Dee thanking you for her benefits and your promise to overturn the bedroom tax.

  178. 229
    frank says:

    “Come splosh around in my floodplain dearie!”

  179. 230
    Nu OldNuLiebour Genetics says:

    What do you get if a Marxist extremist mates with a Nu OldNuLiebour Lezza, answer, an even bigger F**K up than the last 17 years

  180. 232
    Do Marxists Not Read History? or Watch Television Even says:

    Nitwit Marxist nerd schoolboy MP, gatecrashes a weigh watchers party thinking there may be votes to be had along with, by his standards, some tasty totty.

  181. 233
    Party Political Broadcast by the Labour Party. Scene 1 Act 1 says:

    Attempted exorcism of New Labour

Seen Elsewhere

Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
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5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph
All Three Parties Mulling Leadership | Staggers
Isn’t George Great | Simon Jenkins

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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