February 21st, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Awkward Ed Moments Part 94)


  1. 1
    Hulk Brogan says:

    Told by a pollster to embrace the electorate, Ed Miliband took the instruction too literally

  2. 2
    Ed Green says:

    Not sure if its a man or a woman – caption is a thought bubble from the elderly lady in white.

  3. 3
    Tony Balmforth says:

    Mama told me there’d be days like this…

  4. 4
    Uknowitmakessense says:

    David! You taste of champagne!

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Alan Johnson pleased to see Beaker

  6. 6
    Blagger Watch says:

    HIV positive women determined to spread the luuuurve.

  7. 7
    Crisp Ackham says:

    Justine’s really let herself go

  8. 8
    The Boss says:

    That bigoted woman again.

  9. 9
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Ed: ‘Is my microphone switched off? Good. What a slag.’

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Fell out of the Ugly Tree” convention reveals the top three winners

  11. 11
    S'ickipedia says:

    Millband mistakes woman for Stephanie Flanders but had already taken part in complimentary fluid exchange.

  12. 12
    Peter Ellis says:

    Cougars !

  13. 13
    Koba says:

    Ed: “The poor leave an awful aftertaste”

  14. 14
    Taxpayer says:

    Unemployed Stella from Liverpool offers her body to Ed if he pledges to reverse Tory welfare reforms

  15. 15
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Ten hours later, Ed and the whole world found the photos on http://www.doggingpoliticians.com/naked/tiedtoalamppost/

  16. 16
    Sally Bercow says:

    One rule for men another rule for women. Fucking typical!

  17. 17
    mekondelta says:

    I’ve always loved you David..!

  18. 18
    RomaBob.... working hard for you! says:

    FFS No tongues !

  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    All women shortlist pick another couple of talented candidates

  20. 20
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed’s idea of a threesome

  21. 21
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Ed returns to boom and bust.

  22. 22
    Ed Miliband says:

    I thought the ‘parachute club’ was to guarantee a Labour MP, not to guarantee a jump FFS.

  23. 23
    Cap Shone says:

    White Dee and Ed, together at last.

  24. 24
    IDS says:

    Ed denies that he has any spare bedrooms to strange woman.

  25. 25
    Cap Shone says:

    Is that Blair’s daughter Kathryn on the left? Christ, she’s let herself go.

  26. 26
    Philip Hammond says:

    Rachel ?

  27. 27
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed discovers there’s a third Eagle sister.

  28. 28
    Cap Shone says:

    Two huge tits, and a redhead with large breasts.

  29. 29
    Owen Jones says:


  30. 30
    Ed Miliband says:

    Quick…someone call International Rescue.

  31. 31
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed puckers up for Gillian Duffy.

  32. 32
    Ed Miliband says:

    “Are you k’osher?”

  33. 33
    Cap Shone says:

    That’s got my vote.

  34. 34
    Wonderin star says:

    All this to get prime position at the trough, ugh!

  35. 35
    Cradders says:

    They told her Ed does tongues

  36. 36
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed: “I just want you to know, I loved you as Pat Butcher on Eastenders”.

  37. 37
    Bill Quango MP says:

    “On a hot summer night would you offer your throat
    to the wuss with the Red ‘Ed’ roses?”

  38. 38
    hag says:

    Look into my eyes,not around the eyes.

  39. 39

    I just love you in your wellies.

  40. 40
    Its Those Young Liberals says:

    Miliband has his daily photo with a women. Got a bit too close up.

  41. 41
    Justine says:

    Too far, too fast.

  42. 42
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    Call the anti bullying helpline!


  43. 43
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed can’t believe his luck when he pulls two hotties at the Labour conference.

  44. 44
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Ed Thinks

    “Hancock was right! These mental ones are easy”

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Ed “Christ what a difference, Blair gets the babes, & Milliband gets the Munters.”

  46. 46

    Dyson Test Facility Annual Dance.

  47. 47
    C.O.Jones says:

    Lady to Ed “Ooh I’ve never seen a circumcised one,go on let me have a peep”

  48. 48
    Cap Shone says:

    In the background, Owen Jones looks on in envy at the lucky woman embracing Ed.

  49. 49

    Woman: That is exactly what Jimmy Savile did to me!

  50. 50
    Cap Shone says:

    Blair’s daughter turns up to conference fatter than ever.

  51. 51
    Hideously Dyke says:

    Do you like my Red nail polish?

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    A kiss where the sun don’t shine


    I’ll fill yer boots for you!

  53. 53

    PIE local get together.

  54. 54
    The Met Office says:

    Ed’s wettest kiss since records began.

  55. 55
    Welly Wanger says:

    Mrs. Spock’s attempt to mind-meld with Ed Miliband failed when she couldn’t find one….

  56. 56
    Cap Shone says:

    White Dee declares her love to Ed.

  57. 57
    Dan Bowler says:

    Ed wasn’t good at playing “snog, marry, avoid”

  58. 58

    Labour idea of a threesome.

  59. 59

    Ed’s left finger brings her to the peak.

  60. 60
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Auntie Ruth says

    “oh look at him, Zena! Little Ed ! All grown up. How are you? Happy Bar Mitzvah!
    Uncle Lenny is here! he’s got your gift.. Ohhh how does it feel to be a man? Your Cousin Sarah is here too…I’ll bring her over .. Awww…look at him Zena! So cute ..give your aunties a big kiss!..”

  61. 61
    Anon says:

    Deep in his Star Trek boxers, Ed could feel the force rising

  62. 62
    the oral Herpes society says:

    Well done shelia you got him

  63. 63
    Cap Shone says:

    Ed: “David’s getting models in New York, and this is what I get here”.

  64. 64
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Treble bagger meets treble chinner.

  65. 65

    If I kiss you, I’m afraid I want your gold – because Gordon lost the lot.

  66. 66
    The long and winding toad says:

    Mama told me not to come, but I now have a wet patch in my trousers

  67. 67
    Skeleton bob says:

    Ed: God, I hope she doesn’t notice my semi.

  68. 68
    John Prescott says:

    I had the same problem. Women literally throwing themselves at me.

  69. 69
    The long and winding toad says:

    No she hasn’t.

  70. 70
    Minister for Equalities and Diversity says:

    You need to learn how to Hongi with your bulbous Honker, we have a Cock Dodging Maori who wants to meet you.

  71. 71
    Let's enjoy this again says:

  72. 72
    Ed Millibandwagon says:

    It’s too late, I’ve already arrived

  73. 73
    walking into darkness says:

    I don’t fancy yours much

  74. 74
    Peter Grimes says:

    Give us a kiss, Ed, you are much better looking than that Adam Boulton who just left my nice hotel room.

  75. 75
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me.

  76. 76
    Fuctivino says:

    You promised me you would share your last Rollo…now spit it out…spit it out…NOW!

  77. 77
    alexei says:

    Oh God the sex last night was fantastic!

  78. 78
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sally has let herself go. *innocent face*

  79. 79
    any old crap says:

    And this is my mum!.

  80. 80
    Bill Quango MP says:

    “Damn it! I knew I phoned the wrong order. 2 MILFs was what I wanted … not 2 matures”

  81. 81
    jgm2 says:

    You broke my heart Fredo.

  82. 82
    Rickytshirt says:

    Ed decides whether or not to go french.

  83. 83
    Owen Jones says:


  84. 84
    Like UK Floods... says:

    … this was easily preventable.

  85. 85
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Gillian Duffy! How nice to see you

  86. 86
  87. 87
    Tracy from the Isle of Dogs says:

    My long lost son. Is it you?

  88. 88
    Steve Miliband says:

    Stupid pucker

  89. 89
    Andrew Efiong says:

    She’s not exactly Wendi Deng, is she?

  90. 90
    Steve Miliband says:

    I did not have thex with that woman

  91. 91

    Both simultaneously: I suppose a fuck’s out of the question?

  92. 92
    Radio Bollocks says:

    “I’ll do anything for the Lesbian Vote”.

  93. 93
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Ed Balls was easily preventable too….I’m looking at you Mr & Mrs Balls snr

  94. 94
    T.Blair says:

    Lord no! But then he hasn’t got my butt

  95. 95
    Clause IV says:

    The one on the left is next

  96. 96
    Fat Slag says:

    Mr Murdoch sent me.

  97. 97

    …and this one is Bob Crow’s mum kissing the party leader of the day…

  98. 98
    Sal E Bercow says:

    …and last night I walked into a room full of men….ohhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  99. 99
    Oxford Vs Cambridge 2015 says:

    The Lady Major was told she has to kiss the cock of the winning team.

  100. 100
    TFL says:

    Bob Crow knew he’d pull at Conference wearing his lucky shirt.

  101. 101
  102. 102
    François Hollande says:

    Quel plonkeur!

  103. 103
  104. 104
    Bored says:

    José Manuel Barroso gives Ed a warm portuguese welcome.

  105. 105
  106. 106
    verticalwater says:

    Is it grab a Grammy night?

  107. 107
  108. 108
    Ed Miliband circa May 2015 says:

    Not tonight darling, I’m still very tired after fucking the UK.

  109. 109
    Cougar says:

    Your nose op certainly makes you LOOK more like David.

  110. 110
    Sue E Sidal says:

    She’s still alive?
    Praise to the Lord.

  111. 111
    Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

    Nah. It’s a plasticine model. Smells like one, too.

  112. 112
    Mong the Miliband says:


  113. 113
    81lly Kebæb says:

    You are more prolific than me. Are you also a retard?

  114. 114
    Common Purpose Initiate says:

    Eyes wide shut

  115. 115
    The Great British Public says:

    Ed’s first ever French kiss caught in film… Embaressing…

  116. 116
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sloppy seconds?

  117. 117
    Ethel of Purley says:

    I thought he would swallow!

  118. 118


  119. 119
    Dignitas says:

    we’ve found a cheaper way to help old people without flying them to Switzerland, thanks Ed

  120. 120
    Knee Trembler says:

    That’s what you call a front bench.

  121. 121
    Gordon Brownie says:

    Ed Milfbang

  122. 122
    Village Idiot says:

    …Ed;…..This will cure my premature ejaculation problem….discard the Stud spray!….(the very thought)

  123. 123
  124. 124
    Davy Bowlegs says:

    … parked outside…

  125. 125
    Reader says:

    Guido, do you mind?

    I am trying to digest my lunch.

  126. 126
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    This picture is seriously worrying.
    There’s a vacant ‘the lights are on, but no-one is home’ stare of the red head on the left.
    The older one is that infatuated with Ed she’s practically exchanging dribble with him.

    And they both have the vote….

  127. 127
    Davy Bowlegs says:

    The one on the left: “Madame, kindly put him down – you don’t know where he has been”.

  128. 128
    The Great British Public says:

    Ed, I remember when we first met 35 yrs ago with Harriet Harman, we kissed with tongues just like this….

  129. 129
  130. 130
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Do also given ‘ed, David?

  131. 131

    And Ed’s right hand is perilously close to the red head’s right barrage balloon of a breast. This picture could have been so much better…

  132. 132
    The Great British Public says:

    Ed enjoys the benefits of the job as often as he can.

  133. 133
    When politicians clutch children you know they are on their way out... says:

    Daley Thompson has put one a bit of weight

  134. 134
    (optional) says:

    My bingo wings have a thing about you, Ed.

  135. 135
    Fussy eater says:

    I usually go for red heads not a Red Ed.

  136. 136
    altruism in industry says:

    first beer then this

  137. 137
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    Better for whom?

  138. 138
    Falkirk Fanny says:

    Climax in UNISON

  139. 139
    The Critic says:

    Short sighted woman gets the shock of her life.

  140. 140
    Tracey Temple, dairy secretary says:

    Fuck! Look closely! It is Prescott in drag!

  141. 141
    Lady says:

    I thought so, you didn’t wash behind your ears this morning.

  142. 142
    Soaked Beaver says says:

    Gypsy Rosy Lee chooses the wrong crystal Balls to gaze into

  143. 143
    Lurch to the Left says:

    Ed Miliband denies Labour’s desperate fundraising attempts as he charges £10 a snog

  144. 144
    Lady says:

    Good God. It is plasticine!

  145. 145
    On a dark night, with a power cut... says:
  146. 146
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Get yer coat lad yerv pulled !!

  147. 147

    ‘Rubber Ed’ is a character from a Stephen king novel.
    Can’t remember which one, sadly.

  148. 148
    Billy Connonnonnonnelly says:


  149. 149
    François Hollande says:

    I pulled a stunning blonde actress and everyone took the piss.

    But look at him! Those fuglies wouldn’t get near the Elysee Palace

  150. 150
    BBC Spokesman says:

    As these protests are neither anti-capitalist or pro-EU, there nothing of interest here, please move on

  151. 151

    Somerset levels?

    Sure does!

    (Apt Pupil, I think.)

  152. 152
    geordieboy says:

    Give us a kiss Ed I want to be sick.

  153. 153
    Perv says:

    “Don’t you remember me from the Xmas party, I’m the one you had with my arse on the photocopier.”

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    “Have you been eating Wensleydale?”

  155. 155
    Sleazy Slim says:

    Please dribble in my mouth.

  156. 156
    Anne Arquist says:

    Miliband visits St Sunstan’s…

  157. 157
    Larry SilverStein says:

    Prospective parliamentary candidate kisses ass to get on the party’s female shortlist

  158. 158
    Ed Balls says:

    Too far, foo fast.

  159. 159

    The poor get sucked into benefits.

  160. 160

    So, there is a picture of a threesome

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Yep, a total void in there

  162. 162
    Stephanie Flanders says:

    I fondly recall the days I was SkewerEd

  163. 163
    Bingo says:


  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Ed wins “The most J3wish Nose” competition.

  165. 165
    Tim Yeo-yo says:

    To feel the ‘Force’ rising they would have to be Star Wars boxer shorts.

    Ed is too much of a gimp to be a fan of Star Wars,

  166. 166
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    The Shreck of Araby.

  167. 167
    Maimed Cadger says:

    Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end.—
    O churl, drunk all, and left no friendly drop
    To help me after? I will kiss thy lips

  168. 168
    Data says:

    No Star Trek. He feels a need to cling on.

  169. 169
    Graham says:

    First Sally Bercow , now Ed Miliband.

  170. 170
    frank says:

    “Stitch That!”

    Or Glasgow reps make their feelings known…

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    MILF !
    (Miliband I’d…)

  172. 172
    RomaBob.... working hard for you! says:

    Where’s Sue? She’s done it again!

  173. 173
    Lee Matthews says:

    Eduado, why you no lika mamma’s lasagna

  174. 174
    The Critic says:

    Mr Speaker, Mr Speaker,

    Opportunism! Opportunism! My less than honourable friend could not give a flying f**k about flooding until he saw it happening in a few marginals, just like his boss.

    PS If he is that bothered, why did he work for McRuin, who cut the EA budget?

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Would you mind just cheerleading instead of this.

  176. 176
    Demos says:

    Do ya wanna bit of me chewy?

  177. 177
    bergen says:

    Frankly my dear I couldn’t give a damn.

  178. 178
    Maon on Clapham Omnibus says:

    Now if just take THIS head off and replace it with his brother’s …

  179. 179
    Wack says:

    Remember Ed no tongues !

  180. 180

    Just another day at the Office

  181. 181

    do you two girls fancy coming back to my place for a spot of wallpapering?

  182. 182

    I never say No but issue with time management

  183. 183

    of course I love you (presses phone number in other woman’s hand)

  184. 184

    I can read your mind

  185. 185

    wait a minute, its all blank, how does that work?

  186. 186
    Barry says:

    Now, whatever you do don’t open your eyes.

  187. 187

    no tongue my partner’s really firm on that point

  188. 188

    you are right Ed there is hair hanging out your nose

  189. 189

    I have another trick that can keep your ears warm

  190. 190

    how many times do I have to tell you I am not David

  191. 191
    Liberace's wig says:

    “I’m afraid I don’t know what a skull fucking is. Labour membership anyone, anyone?”

  192. 192
    Snap - Captured For Eternity says:

    Liebour chap, I think, gets carried away with the boss.

  193. 193
    Kenny Craig says:

    Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around my eyes, look into my eyes, you’re under.

    The last 17 years of NuLiebour’s catastrophe UK, never happened!

  194. 194
    The Love of The NuLiebour Rose Thorns says:

    An old favourite drifts into the often empty head of Miliband the younger.

  195. 195
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Fuck me….I thought that was Rosie for a minute…John would have done his nut :-)

  196. 196
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Ed Miliband mistakes resident nutter for Rosie Winterton.

  197. 197
    Iambobcrowing. says:

    Nah it,s a blind women thinks it,s a puppet. She is trying to feel who is pulling the strings.

  198. 198
    Daft bat in White says:

    You hold his hand and I will pull his mask off, then you will see he is not a lizard but a toad.

  199. 199
    i don't need no doctor says:

    Labour’s version of martyrdom, Ed Miliband gets the first of his twenty-four socialist virgins.

  200. 200
    jgm2 says:

    Aye. They’d be defeated by having to climb the steps.

  201. 201
    Handycock whipping it out says:

    Did you give her one then Ed? Boaz.

  202. 202
    Qui Bono says:

    Woman 1: I can hear something rattling when I shake it, but it looks empty.
    Woman 2: its it properly inflated?
    Woman 1: I’ve thrown away the receipt so we’re stuck with it.
    Woman 2: What was it supposed to be anyway ?
    Woman 1: According to the instructions, it’s a dynamic leadership figure which will breathe new life into failed labour policies and win us the next election
    All: ………….er, …………well, ………..er, can we get its brother or has I still got its panties in a bunch?

  203. 203
    Mother Clap says:

    Founding partners kiss to celebrate the opening of London’s latest “molly house”
    just before one of them gets out of his stuffy suit.

  204. 204
    Celia says:

    oh Ed, you can have ALL my postal votes!

  205. 205
    Clickety- Click - He is stupid dick! says:

    Mad Jean celebrates her win with the New Bingo Caller.

  206. 206
  207. 207
    U have 2 be innit 2 binnit. says:

    Eyes down for Ed the Clown. Bingo!

  208. 208
    James says:

    Call me a biggot like the last one and i’ll bring you down…capeesh?

  209. 209
    Legal Landlord says:

    Oh David , you are so much better looking than your brother Ed !!!!

  210. 210
    Nigel S says:

    For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. Isaiah 50:7

  211. 211
    Anonymous says:

    Mothers 4 Mossad endorse their latest plant on the western world

  212. 212
    sochispecial says:

    The snowballing gets a little out of hand…

  213. 213
    Brown Jogs to the bogs says:

    Betty is delighted with her prize. Second place in the raffle!

  214. 214
    Forced to feel old before my time! says:

    Stupid Auld Socialist Bag thinks its David Miliband!

  215. 215
    Not quite sure of Ed says:

    “I bet David never had to kiss any of these munters.”

  216. 216
    The Kisser says:

    Oh David, let me stare into your eyes! You were always going to be a better leader than that loser Ed……

  217. 217
    Ed (to himself) says:

    Why do lezzies never look like the birds in my porno movies?

  218. 218
    Anonymous says:

    Oh god your not back here are you ? Lynton Crosby left the building hours ago ..

  219. 219
    Anonymous says:

    At least his partner won’t
    make a fool of herself chastising Gove like Bercow did…

  220. 220
    Anonymous says:

    I would expect Ed to only
    w@nk over photos of Karl Marx and trade union subscription mandates.

  221. 221
    MIKE OX no longer HARD says:

    Millicock pulls at a singles night for Blair Babes

  222. 222
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Labour Delegate: “Giv us a kiss luv”

    Ed Miliband: “Get your filthy working class hands off me”

  223. 223
    Harry Krishna says:

    That not giving me head Ed, do it properly!

  224. 224
    Lyingbarsteward says:

    Nah she is saying is that pinochio your nose seems to be growing every minute.

  225. 225
    I bet he nobbed her says:

    Ed didn’t get much as a younger man so does his catching up with gilfs

  226. 226
    John says:

    Get yer tongue in there Ed. After all you need the votes and she looks like one of your voters.

    Look on the bright side – at least it’s not Harriet… or Len McClusky’s arsehole…

  227. 227
    Anonymous says:

    Friday Caption Contest: Kiss of life meets kiss of death?

  228. 228
    geordieboy says:

    This is a kiss from white Dee thanking you for her benefits and your promise to overturn the bedroom tax.

  229. 229
    frank says:

    “Come splosh around in my floodplain dearie!”

  230. 230
    Nu OldNuLiebour Genetics says:

    What do you get if a Marxist extremist mates with a Nu OldNuLiebour Lezza, answer, an even bigger F**K up than the last 17 years

  231. 231
    Dark Baron Manglesbums of Boys in the County of Pant says:

    “Len McClusky’s arsehole…”

    ooooooooooooooooooooooooo, really, can you imagine!

    Not a hint of back sack and crack wax.

  232. 232
    Do Marxists Not Read History? or Watch Television Even says:

    Nitwit Marxist nerd schoolboy MP, gatecrashes a weigh watchers party thinking there may be votes to be had along with, by his standards, some tasty totty.

  233. 233
    Party Political Broadcast by the Labour Party. Scene 1 Act 1 says:

    Attempted exorcism of New Labour

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

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