February 21st, 2014

Cutting Remarks From the Chancellor

Coif connoisseurs rejoice: the Standard has the scoop. Osborne has given them an exclusive interview revealing all about his ‘Footballers that look like lesbians’ haircut:

“The Chancellor comes across as someone who has survived a miserable low (who could forget his dismay at being booed at the 2012 Olympics?) and emerged psychologically stronger or, perhaps, less afraid to fail. Perhaps that explains his Caesar haircut. “There are more important things, dare I say it, for the country to be talking about,” he cried, looking pained.

But whose idea was it and where was it done? Osborne struggles: “It was just a … I means it’s … it’s been made out to be some great big change, a bigger change than it was.” Does his wife Frances like it? “Oh, she likes it,” he said, the shutters slamming down.”

Who doesn’t…


82 Comments

  1. 1
    Why are the patients all drawn like Penises? says:

    Like

  2. 3
    Forward Slash says:

    “it’s been made out to be some great big change, a bigger change than it was”
    Like the public sector cuts that have been very tame too.

    Like

    • 43
      A Taxpayer says:

      The public sector hasn’t been cut. The national debt has ballooned to ridiculous proportions and the public sector continues to live high on the hog and waste our money like there is no tomorrow. Of course, they may know something…

      Like

  3. 5
    Twampersand mk II says:

    He looks like a bloated, pasty-faced crack-head.

    Oh, wait…

    Like

  4. 6
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    The haircut all you little rosbif engerlunders will be getting will be much worse.

    Like

  5. 10

    Well, he is the hair apparent.

    Like

  6. 11
    Fatwatch UK says:

    George is obviously dodging too many salads.

    Like

  7. 13
    You think that's bad. Look what George is considering next. says:

    Like

  8. 14
    Hey there, Georgie boy! says:

    George, you new barnet makes you look like:

    Georgie Porgie Pudd’n and Pie,
    Kissed the girls and made them cry,
    When the boys came out to play,
    Georgie Porgie ran away.

    Like

  9. 15
    Casual Observer 7 says:

    George Osborne’s hair is a very important matter of debate for the country.

    Especially when it is lined up against what Ed Balls has to offer.

    For example, the expression below clearly says ‘George Osborne, what happened to your hair ?':

    But Ed’s hair itself is just cutting a classic nonchalant look, not quite flat lining, but equally not peaked, and resting in complete opposition to George’s reactionary look.

    Which has the more Conservative look and feel ?

    That question could set the cat among the pigeons…

    Like

    • 20
      how about says:

      Balls would look so much better in a military hat…

      Like

      • 22
        I 'ate you Osborne says:

        Put a moustache and peaked cap on him and he’s a dead ringer for Blakey off “On the Buses”

        Like

        • 41
          Bill Quango MP says:

          On the Busted

          George Osborne as Stan Butler
          Boris Johnson as Jack Harper
          Rosie Cooper as Olive Rudge
          Ed Balls as Inspector Cyril “Blakey” Blake
          Ian Duncan Smith as Arthur Rudge

          Like

      • 25
        Casual Observer 7 says:

        As the luminary political columnist, Ben Brogan, reports, the issue of hair could be a decisive one in deciding who takes over if Dave bows out:

        The exact impact of Hair Colour on the quality of political leadership has been completely sidelined by the more visceral impact of the cut.

        This is clearly a subject worthy of the ministrations of L’ord A’shcroft to resolve.

        I feel that Brogan may have missed a further more nuanced point, which is texture. Is softer hair more electable than stiffer more wiry hair ?

        On this matter, provided J’ohnson can continue to comb his bald pate under the carpet, so to speak, he maybe has a slight edge on Osborne, having both blonde and softer hair with a much less complicated cut.

        Like

      • 26
        geordieboy says:

        SS GRUPPENFURER HAT.

        Like

      • 48
        Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

        Ed Balls would look much better he had a bit off the top, preferably from the neck up :-)

        Like

  10. 23
    Vidal says:

    Hair today, goon tomorrow.

    Like

  11. 27
    Gideon George Osborne says:

    I have been working too hard, time to be kind to myself, a snickers, some crisps shag a sexy research assistant, then a sleep.

    Like

  12. 30
    Casual Observer 7 says:

    Now, here is the international angle on George Osborne’s hair cut.

    As a nation we should be thankful for his decision to stick with his natural brunette look, and not be tempted to adjust to a lighter colour, whilst keeping all edges smart and secure:

    George’s seemingly radical departure from traditional western snips may be winning the UK succour in A’sia by helping to dispel certain myths about Westerner’s and how they look. George however should seriously consider some plastic surgery for his nose, but as Chancellor he is clearly helping to lead Britain into the A’sian market.

    No one can accuse G’eorge of having ‘the Bear Hair’.

    Like

    • 33

      Michael Fabricant and Donald Trump.

      Separated at birth?

      Like

      • 38
        Casual Observer 7 says:

        A very good question.

        Many seem to think so:

        http://hollywoodlife.com/2013/10/26/russell-brand-parliament-feud-twat-michael-fabricant/

        To quote:

        ‘Even so, he sort of seems like the British version of Donald Trump.’

        Like

        • 50

          My God. I feel like Newton must have done when he discovered that Leibniz had also discovered the calculus. :-)

          What a pity my discovery was so trivial!

          Like

          • Casual Observer 7 says:

            No – it is an astute observation, not often discussed.

            What is strange is that such an observation has perhaps not been echoed on these pages before.

            Leibniz had not applied differential calculus to mechanics, and supplied Newton with the insight needed for the limiting process.

            The true genius is how that reporter managed to combine the concepts of R’ussell B’rand, t’wat, M’ichael F’abricant and D’onald T’rump into a unified whole, using T’rump as a means of explaining the concept of F’abricant to their audience, essentially alluding to Hair.

            This demonstrates conclusively where G’eorge is so wrong in his brash statements above where he argues that there are more important things than his hair to be discussed.

            The evidence is very clearly against that.

            Like

    • 52
      Gok Wan says:

      Not even Michael Fabricant has hair like Michael Fabricant

      Like

  13. 34
    Casual Observer 7 says:

    M’ichael F’abricant, who is a very decent chap with a good sense of humour, has to be THE authority on Parliamentary hair. (Please note: No sarcasm intended)

    From the horses mouth:

    I empathize with M’ichael, and am ashamed that Labour have remained so quiet on this issue of blatant rac!sm.

    It would be good if anyone could get some reaction from M’ike on G’eorge Osborne’s hair policy, and also on the treatment it received in the E’vening S’tandard.

    Like

  14. 35
    François Hollande says:

    2010 – There will be no cuts, only growth.
    2011 – Cuts are not necessary . Just taxes for the rich!
    2012 – there may be mild cuts and mild tax rises for everyone.
    2013 – There must be huge tax rises and modest cuts to services to ensure the socialist dream survives!
    2014 -{bonk bonk bonk][ Cut Everything! urrrgghhh Cut it! allahh! Ahhh! Tax everything toooo…oohhhhhhh fuuuuuucccckkkk!

    Like

  15. 36
    A Lined Sheet of Paper says:

    Like

    • 39
      Casual Observer 7 says:

      So Jasmin has got the policy sheet / crayon.

      Good start, but there is not much time left before 2015 GE…

      Like

    • 40
      Ed Miliband says:

      At least not completely blank like mine.

      Like

    • 47
      Beware what you Tweet on the Twitter says:

      Flip it Horizontally to read the other side.

      Why is she criticising the Same sex marriage act 2013, I thought the lefties were in favour of that one? No pink votes for Dave then.

      Like

    • 51
      Bill Quango MP says:

      We can help

      Line 1 – Freeze fuel prices for 5 – 10 – 20 – 2000 ? months.
      Line 2 – Teachers must have an NUT membership card.
      Line 3 – erm

      Sorry, that’s all we know.

      Like

  16. 37
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Corrupt media, corrupt councils, corrupt ministries all led by corrupt MPs & cabinet, the puppets of corrupt corps, all paid for by you!

    Hear ! Hear !

    Like

  17. 53
    Nigel Farage says:

    Like

    • 58
      Ed and Dave are frit says:

      This is quite a good move by Clegg and Farage.

      Like

    • 60
      Patriot says:

      A debate involving Cameron will just be tedious as he lies and tries to avoid the issues.

      Better to thrash out why he loves Europe instead of Britain with the Dutchman.

      Like

    • 66
      Casual Observer 7 says:

      Even though I think Cameron and Miliband are a pair of big pussy’s, this is being a bit blatant.

      Awesome :-D

      Like

  18. 55
    Casual Observer 7 says:

    Life has not been fair to Dave.

    Front baldness is much easier to manage than rear baldness:

    But is Osborne’s cut just designed to conceal the deepening hairline deficit that seemed evident in earlier photo’s ?

    Dave’s hair is clearly proving that there is a dividing line between nature and nurture, and that pedigree will out in the end.

    Like

  19. 71
    Brutus says:

    This Caesarian Gideon clearly needs sectioning!

    (and his double chin is growing, too!

    Like

  20. 74
    Taxpayer says:

    Who cares how the cretin styles his hair? He can sport a lime green mohican for al I care if he grew a pair and stopped crucifying the middle classes with ludicrous marginal rates of tax. 50, 60, 65% tax rates are NOT the actions of a Conservative.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

What Will Happen if Scots Leave? | David Aaronovitch
Why Are Radicals Like Carswell Leaving Tories? | BBC
Danczuk: Rotherham Abuse Imported From Pakistan | Telegraph
Ashya King Case Shows How Authorities Get it Wrong | ConHome
The Carswell Show | Jon Craig
Cops Seized Journalist’s Phone to Out Whistleblower | Press Gazette
Chuka’s £2,500 Tax Avoidance Donation | Times
Another BBC Stitch Up? | David Keighley
Divided, Pessimistic Tories Expect Defeat | Alex Wickham
Labour Suspends Rotherham Council Members | Sky
PM Used Terror Crisis to Deflect From Carswell | Rachel Sylvester


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George Osborne rejects the Ice Bucket Challenge from Ed Balls:

“I’d rather pay the money to charity and pour cold water on his policies.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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