February 19th, 2014

WAR: Britain Protests Spanish Incursion Into Gibraltar Waters

The Foreign Office has confirmed that “there was an incursion into British waters near Gibraltar by Spanish Navy on 18 February, during a Royal Navy exercise”. HMS Sabre saw off Spanish Navy warship SPS Vigia after it disrupted a British exercise. Britain is to make a formal protest to Spain. The stretched twig of peace is once again at melting point. 


  1. 1
    Farmer Giles says:

    Get orff moi land!!!!


  2. 2
    walking into darkness says:

    And everything is always harmonious in the EU isn’t it Barroso.


    • 59
      Bar-arsehole says:

      Si senor; and all the Euro-Diktats about water mangement work perfectly. If the UK had joined the Euro then there would have been no flooding.


  3. 4
    Anonymous says:

    you nutcase Guido.


    • 37
      Kenny Everett says:

      Bomb the bastaaaaaards!


      • 170
        broderick crawford says:


        Send those dagoes a bloody stiff note from the FCO for Gods sake … and if that doesn t work send a bloody gunboat ….and bring me another double brandy Jeeves before my afternoon “siesta” .


  4. 5
    The British media are cunts says:

    Just blow the fucker out of the water.


    • 53
      St Tone de la merde says:

      I am available as peacemaker. Remember how much considerable experience I have in this sphere.

      Oh, anyone’s wife up for a quickie?


      • 172
        40 Minutes to appocolypse should have been my Watergate Moment says:

        Then if you get it wrong you can always do a Hutton and kick it into the long grass for a hundred years


  5. 6
    Blooming Godfrey says:

    Obviously this was late in the day otherwise it would have been siesta time.


  6. 7

    Fuck em let’s have at em


  7. 8

    That is the expression!

    The stretched piece of twig. Otherwise known as the rump of our, once proud, Navy.


  8. 10
    JR says:

    Stick a torpedo into the next one that enters Gibs waters!!


  9. 11
    Nick says:

    Ugh, this “protesting” makes Britain look pathetic.

    Fight fire with fire and go send the Navy to interrupt Spain’s Naval exercises. Don’t throw your toys out the pram crying like a baby. It’s embarrassing.


    • 28
      Maximus says:

      I expect the Spaniards are hoping, not unreasonably, that Camo the Clown might toss them some of those billions of foreign aid to make them to go away (for a bit).


    • 157
      Fleas of a thousand camels says:

      Quite agree..this crew in Madrid see reasonableness as a weakness..So lets kick ass…the sloppies couldnt put a decent parade together let alone fight


    • 173
      40 Minutes to appocolypse should have been my Watergate Moment says:

      Send in the carriers, or have the French got the use of the asset this week.
      Then again if we did attack we might find the joint EUSSR Deffence boys and girls from down Glocster way are really a fifth collum


  10. 13
    JH349849583249030 says:

    Let’s invade Ceuta and Melilla, kick out the spics and hand them back to their mainland.

    I’m sure that will appeal to Spain’s sensibilities about overseas territories needing to be handed back to their attached mainland.

    Either that or it will really upset the fuckers. Either way, I’m happy.


  11. 14
    Press the button Dave. says:

    Go nuclear. They won’t do it again


  12. 15
    Casual Observer 7 says:

    S’pain needs to get a grip on its domestic problems.

    Exiting the Euro is the only way that can start for them.


  13. 17
    Labour is a cancer says:

    Not a good day for Labour today. First the unemployment figures are down. Then the Mail published a full report into the involvement of Harman, Dromey and Hewitt at a very senior level with PIE, whose members are said to have committed child abuse “on an industrial scale”. And now it’s revealed Tony Blair was advising Brooks on how to handle the hacking scandal.

    What a truly horrific, corrupt and wretched bunch Labour are.


  14. 18
    El Draque says:

    Next time Call me Dave will order a fast inflatable to escort the Spanish Armada out of Gibraltar’s waters.


    • 26
      Jesus, pal of mo says:

      Dago armada? 3 old diesel subs and 3 frigates. Time to singe Juan Carlos’s beard.


      • 30
        Bill Quango MP says:

        The trouble is the way the country is so flooded they could sail all the way up to Westminster from Lyme Regis.


    • 178
      Memo From the Admiralty says:

      Dear Minister,


      Further to your recent requests to deter Spanish aggression in Gibralter’s territorial waters, I am pleased to report that we have sent HMS Sabre to perform this mission. As you know, cuts in defence spending have placed certain constraints on the fleet. As a result the ship is not quite ready for operational duty. In particular:

      The hull has been ordered and may arrive in about three months from our preferred Swiss supplier, who services the needs of their navy well.

      Fuel: Sadly our fuel card was dishoured at Porsmouth before the ship sailed. Could we perhaps have a top up before the next spending review? We did follow your advice to refill at Tesco’s but their planning application for a sail through filling station is beset by issues.

      The crew had a whip round but £11.50 does not get a modern warship far,as the Treasury knows only too well.

      No ammunition is on board. This is for two reasons; firstly it’s too expensive to waste on the Spanish, Secondly, it’s quite dangerous stuff and failed the Health and Safety risk assessment.

      Therefore this deployment now involves:

      Hiring a set of pedalos

      Paying for a cardbaord cutout of HMS Sabre (+waterproofing ) sized to fit over the pedalos

      Purchasing 4,000 oranges in lieue of ammunition. Highly recyclable and an acceptable alternative to those unpleasant shells.

      Training the crew to throw them.

      We have enquired of the private company which provides support services for the Navy, The above will cost £900,000.

      Option B would be to rent a ship from Spain, This would avoid any of the issues I have described. Informal enquiries suggest this will be acceptable -cash only,off the books.

      Option C – It may be sensible, given the financial state of both nations,for us to mount a joint exercise,using a single ship between us. That would of course guarantee no damage would occur and no diplomatic incident either.

      I await your guidance

      Admiral Faintly


  15. 20
    carry on navy says:

    don’t send arc royal–no planes


  16. 21
    Jesus, pal of mo says:

    Dago fascist at it again, what is it with Latin types?


    • 31
      Casual Observer 7 says:

      Different culture.

      They never really progressed from Mercantile to neo-liberal, and they are somewhat lazy with regards work ethic.

      The influence of the C’atholic church cannot be ignored either.


  17. 22
    Dave's Imaginary Navy says:

    I am deploying further naval assets to the region….HMS Austerity; HMS Referendum and HMS Renegotiation.


  18. 24
    Has Rupert got (m)ore? says:

    This is just the beginning. The Blair hacking revelation is just the tip of the Laberg. The digger has plenty more juicy stories up his sleeve between now and the election. Rupert, if you’ve got all the info on Blair and Operation Ore, now would be a good time to have it “leaked”.


    • 40
      Huge Grunt says:

      Op Ore is probably a no go – but there are many other bodies buried.

      Who advised Ed Miliband to call for the Leveson inquiry ?


    • 56
      Herr Rupe says:

      Kein Ficker fickt meine Frau ficken und ficken kommt ungestraft davon scott kostenlos


  19. 25
    Rachel Reeves says:

    I was good on BBC today, dissing the unemployment figures, wasn’t I? Honk Honk Honk.


  20. 27
    Leading Seaman Faye Turney says:

    Great, I fancy a run ashore in Spain. Hands up, baby, hands up


  21. 29
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I suggest we retaliate diplomatically.
    We send our foreign aid £11bn to the basques to help them in their struggle for freedom.

    The Spanish will retaliate by send Salmond £5bn for the Scots struggle.

    its a win – win.


    • 33
      History says:

      Beats having the G’erman’s bomb the S’panish governments problem into submission…


      • 39
        President Hollande representing the Internationale Brigade says:

        We shall join the losing side and then pack it in when it gets a bit rough.
        As usual.

        Mind you we’ll hand and murder a good many citizens for freedom before we do bugger off.


    • 78
      Sockeye Salmond says:

      You forget, Gibraltar is part of Greater Scotland, the noo


    • 117
      Senor Pancho says:

      Them Spanish birds look quite fab in their basques, take it from me. Ole!


  22. 36
    Chips the Fish says:

    Sink the Spanish boats. We fish like the new reefs!


  23. 38
    Not reported on the BBC says:


  24. 42
    Butch Dave says:

    What a butch reaction by HMS Pork Sabre to the Spanish Viagra. They’ve both got big guns and torpedoes too, and create a lot of foam when they plunge through the water! I do so love sailor on sailor action.


  25. 47
    RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

    Who will blink first?


  26. 48
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP


  27. 50
    Rupert says:

    No one fucks with me and gets away with it. You’re on my shit list, Tony. You ain’t seen nothing yet.


  28. 51
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Do you think those Spaniards shit themselves?


    • 65
      Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

      Nope, the USA is stopping money printing and the Chinese are about to enter into a massive slow down and possible collapse.


    • 68
      RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

      Not if the surrender to the Iranians is anything to go by!


  29. 52
    Herman's First War says:


    • 54
      Casual Observer 7 says:

      But sanctions have not worked anywhere.

      With Russ!a funding the U’kraine govt, all U’kraine will need to do is purchase from Russ!a which would very much help their balance of trade in any case.

      Why is H’erman undermining the recovery of the Eurozone economy by closing off this export market to European Member states ?

      Good time and reason for the UK to exit.

      Also a good time to onshore all the jobs which were outsourced to the U’kraine at the expense of UK workers.


    • 66
      EU, Nobel Peace Prize Winner says:

      By absorbing all these former Soviet states the EU has effectively becomes Russia’s enemy.


      • 85
        Casual Observer 7 says:

        Not completely true.

        By challenging Russ!a’s sovereign interests, and engaging in hostile criticism of its domestic policies, the EU has become an existential threat to Russ!a.

        Absorbing some of the old soviet satellite states does not make the enemy case, but seeking to undermine the decision of a sovereign government who Russ!a has an interest in most certainly does.

        Will Mr. van Rompuy be taking Polonium or Dioxin in his cocoa ?


    • 69
      Sarah says:

      Unelected EU Dictator organises sanctions against a democratically elected Government shocker.

      The EU & the USA are stoking this up hoping to bring down the democratically elected Ukranian Government before the end of the Olympic Games.

      If they fail Putin will rightly send in the tanks to stop this EU expansionism that is threatening the peace in Europe.


    • 71
      Vladimir says:

      So how long do you want me to turn off the gas for? Or perhaps a 50% price hike?


      • 79
        The EU says:

        You can’t touch us Putin, we don’t need your gas. We’ve got Windmills now, that is why we have made fracking extremely difficult for member states.


        • 89
          A divorce lawyer says:

          In my professional experience it is best to keep a considerable distance from any Ukrainians who fall out amongst themselves.


          • Hannibal from Carthage says:

            If you watch the way average Ukrainian male treats the average Ukrainian woman you would not be in the least bit surprised by what is happening.


          • Casual Observer 7 says:

            Here is how they behave in London:

            – And he wanted to be deported back to his homeland, U’kraine…


    • 103
      Herman Van Rumpupar says:

      I vill get wery cwoss


    • 176
      Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:



  30. 64
    Graham says:

    Sink the fucking thing. The bastards need teaching a lesson.


  31. 72

    Is your browser trackable?

    Is your browser configuration rare or unique? If so, web sites may be able to track you, even if you limit or disable cookies.

    Find out at Panopticlick:



    • 88
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Sorry to hear that, well keep visiting your local dogging site, I will see you there and we can talk about it face to face?


    • 92
      Some git says:

      I have no problem with Guido fawkes knowing who I am. It’s the rest of you I have qualms about.


    • 96
      Casual Observer 7 says:

      Could try using Lynx with heavily modified user agent string.

      Source code is available – gives you full control if have the time to shut down the back doors.

      Web experience may be a bit off though.


      • 104


        It all has to go through http though and that is where the problem is.


        • 114
          Casual Observer 7 says:

          Only for the IP tracking aspect, but that can be cleaned up in large part with a trusted proxy.

          It isn’t http that is the problem, it is the IP / TCP headers which can be used to trace back.

          Only the NSA / GCHQ or those with direct taps into the major ISP’s would be able to do that, and then this only works if the traffic routes through jurisdictions where the ISP has to keep records of the traffic.

          This could in part be fixed by using modified router code to obsfucate – DD-WRT is open source, but the problem would be locating such a device in a trusted location.

          The trick to maintaining a semblance of anonymity is to limit the type of data sent down the pipe, and to limit the amount of data which can uniquely identify. Making yourself look like a one in a million user, but without all the other security issues that involves is key.

          VPN tunnelling from a modified browser running within a trusted and disposable VM instance accessing from a very public location and looking to remote clients like you are nothing special whilst routing traffic in part through a jurisdiction that doesn’t keep logs, and through some routers which can scramble the TCP headers, is about as good as you will get, but that will still not be perfect.


    • 120
      NSA GCHQ says:

      When we target you

      There is no way you can avoid us


  32. 77
    Too Thick To Stay On Topic says:



  33. 86
    HM Her Majesty says:

    My mighty fleet of rear admirals will sail down to Cadiz in their fisheries protection vessel and singe the King of Spain’s beard.


  34. 95
    ex Tory Voter says:

    Sink them. All it takes is one, followed by an “abject” apology.


  35. 97
    FFS says:

    Sink it, then send the pictures to the President of Argentina with the caption “You’re next”.

    Then arm the Basques and the Catalans with MP-5s and plenty of ammo – that should keep them busy.


  36. 100
    Jimmy says:

    Do righties think the Spanish people should have a referendum on the Treaty of Utrecht?


  37. 122
    Bonesontour says:

    Send in our inflatable dolls!


  38. 123
    Tony Blair says:

    We must keep Gibraltar

    I launder bungs through there

    No questions asked


  39. 130
    Casual Observer 7 says:

    If Blair has so rapidly issued a statement on today’s court evidence, then a real nerve must have just been touched.


    • 137
      Rupe says:

      Blair is hopefully realising that his days as Saviour of the World, Messiah, and Son of God are rapidly being dashed.
      See him how he is.

      Was it worth the quickies Tone?


    • 144
      FFS says:

      It seems Blair was feeding Murdoch with information on the form that the Levenson enquiry was going to take (although he got the judge mane wrong – he was obviously told it would be Ken Macdonald). Question is should he have been doing that and what other information was he feeding Murdoch “off the record”?


  40. 143
    England First says:

    If it happens again, open fire on the bugger. It would be legitimate against an act of aggression. Remember the Falklands.


  41. 150
    U turn if U want but..... says:

    So, when Vlad sends in the tanks does this become a Poland moment c.1938, will Mr Hague return from a small plane with a bit of paper assuring al that he has it on good authority that they are only cutting the grass.

    Does the EU have the vollvox to stand up or will there be a retreat holding Baroness Ashtray s skirt.

    While this is going on we need to sink the Spic warship now and sort it, Hague stand up for once and do it.


  42. 152
    Displaced Brummie says:

    So, let’s see. Spain, a member of the EU, attacks another member of the EU.

    When does Spain get expelled from the EU?

    Waiting with popcorn… Gonna be a long wait.


    • 156
      I want to know says:

      When will Ashton and van Rompey call for sanctions against
      Spanish aggressors.
      The people of Gibraltar have the right to be defended.


      • 171
        My mouse says:

        Maybe they should invite in the Russkies. They are better at looking after their own interests than Dave and his half-witted Navy full of admirals without boats.


  43. 153
    Xavier Onassis says:

    Next time they try it, we should do a Belgrano to them. The RN is rather good at sinking dagoes, had a lot of practice over the years. Come back Sir Francis Drake – beat the drum for Gibraltar!


  44. 158
    nick says:

    Can a twig melt?


  45. 162
    Jim says:

    Just send one of these bad boys over;


    What’s the point at shouting at them when we’ve got some pretty big sticks?


  46. 166
    Anonymous says:

    Didn’t know we had a navy left.


  47. 175
    frank says:

    Sort the dagoes out AND make a profit. Just refuse to pay the UK contribution to the EU until the Spanish stop playing silly buggers with the good people of Gibraltar. Only a fool would pay to join a club that didn’t enforce it’s rules.
    A £50,000,000 a day stick beginning at Calais.

    Can I have 0.5% for thinking up this blinder?


  48. 177

    Looks like the Spanish have forgotten that we’re all meant to be mates these days. Odd that the EU is not telling the Spanish to behave?


  49. 179
    Dr Evil says:

    Ships captains should habe their autonomy of action restored. The RN captain should have sunk the Spanish bastards there and then. One shot across the bows then if no response sink them. Blow them out of the water.


  50. 180
    Anonymous says:

    “Davey sends the navy”
    Whatever next? Use our two new carriers to house those who have been flooded out? Then deploy those new multi-million dollar fighters against global warming?


  51. 183
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    I’m shocked. I didn’t know we still had a navy. You’ll be telling me the airforce still has planes next!


Seen Elsewhere

Speaker Bercow Defeated | BBC
Nigel Farage is Bigger Than Jesus | Speccie
Year of Sleaze | City AM
Top 10 UKIP Donors | London Loves Business
Tory Candidate Leaflet Blooper | Get West London
Why Aren’t Middle Class Voting Tory? | Sun
UKIP Do Not Have Monopoly on Fruitcakes | Danny Finkelstein
Ed Must Stop Dithering | Mary Riddel
Ed Cannot Rebuild Trust From Westminster | Rafael Behr
An Open Letter to Russell Brand | "Jo"
Merry Bin-Mas From the Greens | Speccie

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Labour insiders turn on Ed over Powell’s latest gaffe:

“When is he going to stop promoting useless people? He was warned about her.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,641 other followers