February 17th, 2014

How Long Before Burnham Sleeps with the Fishes?

Ed might yet regret not sacking Andy Burnham. Last week the Labour leadership vetoed the Shadow Health secretary’s plan to hand over control of billions of pounds of NHS funding to councils. And, as Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, Ed’s allies have slapped down his one-time leadership rival after he threatened to oppose the high-speed rail line that will run through his seat. A Miliband henchman whispers: “If Andy wants to be leader, he better learn about loyalty.”

Which reminded Guido of what Chuka Umunna used to boast: “One of the things Ed has been so clear about is he will not tolerate any of that kind of behaviour. If anybody is found briefing against anybody, you are out – there will be no discussion. That is not the way Ed Miliband’s party does things.” What has Ed done to deserve this disrespect?


  1. 1
  2. 2
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Knife him in the back, Ed. Or send round some Union ruffians to give him a Chinese burn.

  3. 3
    Andy Burnham says:

    Sleep with the fishes

    The Labour Codfather

    What’s with all the fishy innuendos ?

  4. 4
    81lly Kebæb says:


  5. 5
    Don Ralph Millibandi says:

    I never intended for Fredo to be the head of the family.

  6. 6
    Same shit says:

    So, are we all to play down the IRA letter bombs sent to murder Army personnel, or postmen, in recruiting offices?
    Do we have to pretend this is a different IRA just to help Snn Fein out of a pickle?

  7. 7
    Maria Miller says:

    Have I resigned yet?

  8. 8
    Cast Iron Dave says:

    Your electorate can of course easily recall you, remember?

  9. 9
    Andy Burnham says:

    Come and try it f**face.

  10. 10
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immigrants, Criminals & other Wasters. says:

    He will always be a target after exterminating the thousands of patients in the National Death Service scandal.

  11. 11
    Fat Eric says:

    Did someone mention pickles? I love a good pickle. Pickles for breakfast, pickles for tea. Pickles with chips, burgers and pickes with mash. Pickles in sandwiches, or pickles as snacks. You can’t beat ‘em. Pickle by name, pickle by waste-band. That’s me.

  12. 12
    Someone says:

    Sorry Dave, I don’t remember that one coming in. Did I get distracted during the EU referendum campaign?

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Civil War says:

  15. 15
    Cast Iron Dave says:

    It must have dear unit of work ouput, I promised.

  16. 16
    Kindergarten says:

    Fucking smack the back of their legs, and put them on the naughty step.

  17. 17
    Call this Democracy? says:

    So Burnham is being prevented by Ed Miliband from doing what is right for his constituents because of party loyalty?

    And there was me thinking that an MP should put his constituents, the people who sent him to Parliament, first.

    The way to stop this is to make ALL MPs swear an oath to act on their constituents’ behalf when they become an MP.

  18. 18
    I feel fubarred etc says:

    What has Ed done etc? Nothing much, merely consistently shown that he is as thick as pigshit, has not one idea in his little head, and commands no respect from anyone in his party who has more than one functioning brain cell. Like his brother when he was in office, this rabble continue to make the UK the laughing stock of the world.

    That halfwit who won last week’s badly rigged election said he thought Ed was the bees knees. If this lot get in again in 2015, then watch out for the sticky stuff/twirly thing interface.

  19. 19
    Spaz says:

    Homosexual Weddings took your mind off things Dave.

  20. 20
    Stockholm syndrome says:

    If you do that in Sweden you will be liable to 10 years behind bars. Swedish loony fuckwits rule the roost in that country so parents are unable to discipline rowdy/misbehaving brats.

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Dummies don't tell tales says:

  23. 23
    This is all so depressing says:

    Lots of airborne bacon slices round your way, are there?

  24. 24
    Anders Behring Breivik says:

    This is why it is best to just kill them. The prison sentence is less.

  25. 25
    Bert O'Reilly's ice cream van says:

    As somebody once said a few years when all this nonsense was big business: WTF don’t we just flatten the centre of Dublin. Put a stop to it in less than 24 hours.

  26. 26
    Champagne and Socialism says:

  27. 27
    Bert O'Reilly's ice cream van says:

    They are on Page 5: How to kill your patients without anybody really noticing.

  28. 28
    Andy Burnham says:

    A model patient. You’ve left him outside on the corridor for three weeks without food and water, and he looks just the same.

    Well done.

  29. 29
    Ed Miliband says:


  30. 30
    Film buff says:

    Too late.

  31. 31
    UKIP or bust says:

    Goofy Ed looses it to Big Len

  32. 32
  33. 33
    mark Wouters says:

    sovietsalami63 Here ,
    The tory squirt Hague is “ALL MOUTH AND NO TROUSERS” where is it today !,has it been flooded???

  34. 34
    Andy Burn'em says:

    Did you get this stiff from mid-Staffs?

  35. 35
    Ed Miliband says:

    Oh do fuck off will you. You make even me look electable.

  36. 36
    It's only business says:

  37. 37

    Google News UK has crashed. USA is available. Anyone else having problems?

  38. 38
    Ann D Burnham says:

    Looks to me like this patient hasn’t applied his foundation very well. And as for his eyeliner……yuk!

  39. 39

    Back up again but was off for 15 minutes.

  40. 40
    Dummy Syndrome says:

    Has anyone told them that real people need water?

  41. 41
    A pensioner without a pension. says:

    Ed Balls

  42. 42
    You need a Ball of Wool to play with Puss Cat says:

    So what?

  43. 43
    Bill Quango MP/5 says:

    Caroline Flint

  44. 44
    Bill Quango MP/5 says:

    Carolin Flint’s ‘window dressing’ day.

  45. 45
    NSA says:

    Just testing.

  46. 46
    muslim is a disease says:

    where are the shovels ?

  47. 47
    Student Nurse Advice Line (Yes you on the Left) says:

    Eating the right amount of calories with an appropriate exercise regime stops you putting weight on.

  48. 48
    81lly Kebæb says:

    Oi I do the weather/traffic/news reports on here !

  49. 49
  50. 50
    John Bercow says:

    Some nights it smells like I’m sleeping with the fishes.

  51. 51
    Chick'an'Dy Miliband says:

    I’m still running around Uncle Sam’s backyard.

  52. 52
    It's only business says:

    Venezuelan police kicking the shit out of their own people.

    Where is Owen Jones when we need him?

  53. 53
    Tom Watson says:

    Ed never put a hit out on anyone but his willy has been whacked a few times.

  54. 54
    Before Ed re-educated him says:

  55. 55
    The Baited fishing Line says:

  56. 56
    Owen Jones says:

    I only went there to observe how to rig elections it’s not like I’m gay for the place or nothing.*facepalm*

  57. 57
    sunderland is a labour ghetto that why its shyte says:

    We will all be sleeping with the fishes if Labour win in 2015 and the UKIP mong will ensure that even though a Labour victory will mean no referendum,you couldnt make it up.

  58. 58
    The Godfather and the railway track says:

    So, it represents a good deal now?

  59. 59
    Dave is treacherous says:

    And Dave has stated that he will NOT take the UK out of the EU. So UKIP it MUST be.

  60. 60
    Scenes we can expect if Labour get back into power? says:

  61. 61
    Dandy Burnbum says:

    The electorate will be asked if the NHS is safe in Dandy Burnbums hands.

  62. 62
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    No, really, seriously, you could not make it up!

  63. 63
    davemcwish says:

    Doesn’t matter really; a united Ireland will happen, it’s just a question of when. Untill then the politicians, who know all this, are managing public opinion.

  64. 64
    Labour, the source of All wealth? says:

  65. 65
    Jeremiah says:

    “Ed’s allies have slapped down his one-time leadership rival after he threatened to oppose the high-speed rail line that will run through his seat.” Does that mean he is one of the few MPs who is actually listening to his constituents who do not want anything to do with the Cameroon Folly or anything to do with it, what a complete wste of money. If it goes the same way as Crossrail as far as esculating costs are concerned where I read the costs are expected to be £15 Billion now, the project will be £80+ Billion they love debt

  66. 66
    Jeremiah says:

    Calm down dear, just 2 over grown kids

  67. 67
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Just fcuk off please. Try some BASE jumping without a chute.

  68. 68
    The Critic says:

    I am sure both of them are very grateful that you are looking after their interests, Andy.

  69. 69
    Jeremiah says:

    Just three letters USA, now do you understand

  70. 70
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Real socialists know you have to take a beating or two on the way to a true left wing utopia.
    Ask Kim Jong and the rest of the boys.
    Up the workers!

  71. 71
    'Cradle to the grave' updated under Burnham says:

    ‘from the abortion room bucket to the piss soaked bed.The NHS will look after you.

  72. 72
    Jeremiah says:

    Let them have it and watch things go bang, it would also reduce the UKs unemployment figures

  73. 73
    Jeremiah says:

    Can’t he blame Libore for that one?

  74. 74
    Observant says:

    Swingers should sign up for the libdum party.

  75. 75
    a Loyalist says:

    As if.

    Even the Catholics in Ulster don’t want a united Ireland anymore. Years of fuck -ups south of the border have put that idea on ice for the foreseeable.

  76. 76
    gordon's legacy says:

    can’t be soon enough .. totally discredited slimeball

  77. 77
    FFS says:

    Bear in mind that in Sweden the divorce rate is extremely high and most women work. It is rare that children are actually being looked after by their biological parents, so in effect the law protects children from being hit by carers.

  78. 78
    Brave Belly says:

    My grand plan is to have the new railway up here when we go Devo Max after my abject failure that a 15 year old would have predicted.

  79. 79
    mingewatch says:

    have you waxed your iron curtain ?

  80. 80
    FFS says:

    Presumably this is why even Belsen Burnham feels it might be worth his while to align himself as future leader. Ed, it seems, is not expected to be long in the the job amongst his own colleagues…

  81. 81
    Penfold says:

    “If Andy wants to be leader, he better learn about loyalty.”

    BUT, it’s only through disloyalty and having a massive ego that you can become leader, by usurping the incumbent.
    Otherwise, snuggle up to the unionista’s.

  82. 82
    Bob Amser says:

    What does Clegg take the electorate for ?

    He has aided and abetted some of the most right-wing, divisive and devastating policy initiatives ever seen in this country, only to seemingly disown them as it becomes ever clear that the election is lost. The Tories haven’t “changed for the worse” overnight, they’ve set out their stall since Day One.

    It’s hard to adequately describe my contempt for the bloke and it’s evident that many Labour MP’s feel the same way.

  83. 83
    Yvette the Impaler says:

    sad git should shove off

  84. 84
    Brave Belly says:

    Yer all fackin sassenachs, ya ken nothin bout Scorchlan, deep fry mars bars, oil or bankin.

    Infanyinfany you all got it in for me.

  85. 85
    Yvette the Impaler says:

    the dummy looks suprised to see andy

  86. 86
    cornwall storms says:

    Oh I do hope not – he needs to stay as shadow minister for health – everytime I see him I remember, like countless others, his absolute disastrous tenure as minister for health under the last labour government, proof if ever we needed it that the NHS was NOT safe in their hands.

  87. 87
    trumpton dribble and slug says:

    stop swearing bill its not funny

  88. 88
    FFS says:

    Ah Herr Salmond, I would have thought after banging the independence drum for 40 years you would have worked out a better fairy tale to tell your compatriots than the ridiculous ill-though out nonsense you’ve come out with the last few weeks.

    Anybody would think you and your cronies didn’t really want an independent Scotland after all…..

  89. 89
    Lord Stansted says:

    The yanks may not be too keen on the IRA now that they’ve had a taste of their own terrorism.

  90. 90
    FFS says:

    So at what point did your family stop being English and start being Scottish Herr Salmond? Was it before or after the Battle of Culloden?

  91. 91
    Twampersand says:

    The whole Good Friday deal was centred around Adams’ and Marty Kneecaps’ ability to control their goons.

    This never happened, the IRA never disbanded, never stopped funding itself by drug dealing in Belfast and never stopped summary punishment beatings for anyone who can see what a bunch of wankers they are.

    As they have failed, the agreement has now palpably failed, all those released from prison under the agreement should be re-arrested and Adams and Kneecaps should be treated to some of their own ‘justice’, then dumped in the Shankhill Road with Union flags stuck up there arses.

    And Blair can swing too, while were at it, for ever agreeing to such utter stupidity. Amongst othet things.

  92. 92
    The British Public says:

    C’mon guys, this petition has only gathered 27 signatures in the last hour. We can do better than that.

  93. 93
    Stupid cow says:

    …and can someone piss on Mo’s grave too…

  94. 94
    Stabilo Boss says:

    Burnham is a “good constituency MP” but useless at anything higher. Long may he stay in the Shadow Cabinet.

  95. 95
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    It will – when the Irish offer to return the republic to the Crown, and apologise for its condition.

  96. 96
    Twampersand says:

    The dummy look like Milliband with a wig.

  97. 97
    aghast says:

    On ITN news last week some loon from the back office suggested these packages didn’t matter as they would only burn victims not kill.
    Have I fallen into a loony parallel universe?

  98. 98
    Graham says:

    You seem to forget that Liebour started the whole HS2 idea. Why are you blaming Cameron. Liebour Hunts have a very limited ability to remember, particularly the events between 1997 and 2010.

  99. 99
    Twampersand says:

    So we should continue with the shower of shit we have now? Just because they are not Labour.

    Your’e the mong, mong.

  100. 100
    Twampersand says:

    I haven’t seen any right-wing policy initiatives in this country for a very, very long time.

  101. 101
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Do you ‘do your own research’ or do you just unlawfully trawl everybody elses data for your cia, mi5, mostsad, fraudi handlers?

  102. 102
    A Labour Spokesman says:

    It’s the difference between being pissed on or shat on. At least with the Tories there’s always the chance of a bit of sweet corn or a lump of carrot to keep us plebs going …

  103. 103
    Gooey Blob says:

    How can Ed command loyalty when he’s leading his party to oblivion from the left? Forget the current polls, they’ll change soon enough. Labour needs a centrist leader if it isn’t to lose more seats at the next election; being associated with Ed’s impending defeat won’t help anyone in a 2015 leadership campaign.

  104. 104
    Gooey Blob says:

    I’ve always voted Ukip at the euro elections. However, it’s the Ukip posters here and especially at The Telegraph that have persuaded me not to vote Ukip again.

  105. 105
    Marlon Brando says:

    Do you want baloney with your macaroni?

  106. 106
    ComchieCoo says:

    Nurse on Left saying to nurse on Right:
    “Bloke looked fine when I came round to check him last week.”

  107. 107
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Pair of twunts

  108. 108
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Anyone that doesn’t think that the ‘troubles’ isn’t about who gets to control the organised crime in NI is dumb.

  109. 109
    Brave Belly says:

    Fools fools ……when I drive scorch land onto the rocks yer will all sae I tell yer so laddie but at least I will have got rid of those ‘tard banks including the one I worked fer, probable everything else too but we will be free, free ……free, ha ha ha


  110. 110
    Geordieboy says:

    Local councils running the NHS , that will be 6 million more social workers on the public payroll.

  111. 111
    Joggin is Boggin says:

    Fit for the sewers. Who wants a cereal killer in NHS as Labour leader?

  112. 112
    IRA says:

    They’re not IRA.
    IRA were a noble band of Freedom Fighters, who ended 700 years of cruel oppression.
    They’re just lunatic dissidents.
    Don’t worry. They’ll go away. Eventually.

  113. 113
    Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:

    Carry on leading Ed!

  114. 114
    Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:

    … Farage and Farage and Farage and the rest of them.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Andy Burnham leader? Leader of what? That has to be a wind up, please tell me it’s a wind up…

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    “If Andy wants to be leader, he better learn about loyalty.”

    Or better yet, for the welfare of the rest of us, devise a new narrative. That has more testable inherent logical consistency, than that guesswork possessed and promoted by the other muppets?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers