February 14th, 2014

Like Guido’s Facebook Page


  1. 1
    Tweety Twat says:

    facebook totalz lolz u #kewlistthingEVER

  2. 2
    An ado says:

    Faceybookie spiderman meths sniffing gaga pecks sun wank foot kets selfie

  3. 3
    A G**do Facebook page fan says:

    I am a fucking waste of “some bloke’s” batter

  4. 4
    Silly Bercow says:

    Totes awesome, geedo.


    Check out my facebook page
    “Why is my Sal trending?” lol ;)


    Oh and all welcome. Dark men *like* trveller men *like* even boring old white dwarfs *like* (honest John ;) lols – just kidding sweetie

    Any ayshuns? not had 1 recent. You boy’s want to c how the ladies live and try out getinng inside a Bercow ;) tee hee Bercow/berca see. It’s a JOKE Johnnie *rolls eyes*.

    Seriously tho boys. I mean a fuck. meet me round facebook page # round the bins

  5. 5
    Bill Quango MP/5 says:

    Facebook. Twitter? Sponsored posts ? What is going on.

    Its all getting very commercial round here.

    Which is why a few months back I strongly, strongly recommended that you visit G.W.Thompson in the high street, Chadwell Heath.
    G.W Thompson is a first class outfitter with a range of ready to wear suits and tailored formal wear for the discerning gentleman.

    Mention the coupon number on the Order-Order facebook page and get 10% off.

  6. 6
    Throg says:

    What is this Facebook?

    Is it the modern version of cards in phone boxes?

  7. 7
    Jack Dromey says:

    What was that about dark men?

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Mrs. Clegg just asked me if I’m a man or a mouse.

    Pass the cheese sandwiches, please.

  10. 10
    Trader Garage? says:


    Does he produce colonial summer suits?



  11. 11
    M102 says:

    Facebook really does seem to attract w@nkers who need to constantly update their status. Chavvy cuunts.

  12. 12
    C.O.Jones says:

    Beware of buying Facebook likes. They give you instant kudos but disrupt the long term effectiveness of your acct.


  13. 13
    Jack says:

    And who paid for the anti-farage propaganda?

    The lobbyists cen buy this site without even declaring who they are?

    WTF Guido?

  14. 14
    Sal E Bercow says:

    Iluvsucheeky *gapes*

  15. 15
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    facebook is for retards

  16. 16
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    I can also thoroughly recommend G.W. Thompson of the high street Chadwell Heath, their attention to ball room in the trouser department showed they can go that extra mile, *****.

  17. 17
    Silly Bercow says:

    Cooee Jaqui, give my love to the man of the house lols – no only joking Jacqui.

    Yeah. *like* mine and i’ll *lick* urs lol! – no only joking Jacqui.

    no srsly tho “*serious face*” – lols ;)

    let’s go out clubbin 1 nite jacqui. get pissed. I think I no where to find wot u want *innocent face* – lol.

    Just don’t tell John tho ;) in enuf troubkl already (my fault) ;(

    It’ll be ok just don’t get papped. No I sed *papped* lols – no only joking Jacqui.

    not racist me — any color as long as their Boys ;) not *that* libral :0

    I mean we can get some blokes to fuck us out the back over the bins.

  18. 18

    Facebook can reduce your penis size.

    Remember organs can fall as well as rise. Remember to seek professional advice.
  19. 19
    G.W.Thompson of Chadwell Heath says:

    We have a range of light weight cotton safari suits in turquoise,beige and saffron.With or without wide brimmed hunter’s hat with zebra band.
    Available in all sizes from a Harrycole right up to a Guidofawkes.

    open Monday-saturday
    9am – 5.30pm

    No appointment necessary.
    No solicitors or lefties.

  20. 20
    G.W.Thompson of Chadwell Heath says:

    We have a range of light weight cotton safari suits in turquoise,beige and saffron.With or without wide brimmed hunter’s hat with zebra band.

    No appointment necessary.
    No solicitors or lefties.

  21. 21
    Jack Dromey says:

    Do they have anything in a heavy ball droop, but in black?

  22. 22
    C.O.Jones says:

    They are purveyors of fine pith helmetth to RedEd.

  23. 23
    FFS says:

    Introducing the AMD A10-7850K – so revolutionary, it challenges the very definition of a processor.

    Sponsored by Advanced Micro Devices.

  24. 24
    Jack says:

    What goes up must come down…

    So said…

  25. 25
    Throg says:


  26. 26
    FFS says:

    Consider “SizeMatters”, the web-site where well-endowed men can hook-up with women that appreciate your girth.

    Sponsored Post.

  27. 27
    Confused? You will be... says:

    Rupert Murdoch has taken to Twitter to compare Facebook with troubled peer MySpace.

  28. 28
    Ado says:

    You are confusing Twatter with Faceyfootie, cockroach

  29. 29
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

  30. 30
    Barclays says:

    We will put all you personal details online free of charge

  31. 31
    Iain Dale's Bitebum Publishing says:

    Alistair Campbell on LBC now explaining about his recurring depression.
    Sometimes it just comes upon him .
    He isn’t sure what causes it.
    Maybe too much work? Pressure of schedules?

    Or thoughts about those 100,000’s of people you helped kill?

  32. 32
    Tesco says:

    So will we.

  33. 33
    FFS says:

    Fuck off foreigner. Wait two generations then maybe we’ll take your opinion seriously.

  34. 34
    Ed Miliband says:

    Thtop taking the pith! I’m THERIOUTH.

  35. 35
    (optional) says:

    Good result for Labour, and deservedly so. They are the only credible alternative to the ConLib Coagulation. The writing is surely on the wall for the LibDems. The broken promises and the sheer duplicity of Clegg the Clagnut is coming home to roost, and, again, deservedly so. No one is going to believe anything they say between now and the General Election. Serves them right, they deserve electoral extinction. In respect of the UKIP/Tory vote, I have mixed feelings. I cannot help but take delight in seeing any Tory candidate beaten into third place, because that’s where they belong, beaten and unelected.

    However, that is over-shadowed by my disappointment that the right seems to have opted for UKIP instead. What can a bunch on swivel-eyed loons with effectively only one policy offer the British electorate? I suppose a chance for people to vent their racism and frustration on scapegoats. I’m just glad they didn’t get that much of a proportion of the vote. Nige Fartage can’t really draw much comfort from this result. All they did was effectively split the Tory vote

  36. 36
    Lord Myspace says:

    I deny all allegations.

  37. 37
    Sir Tim Berners-Lee says:

    Facebook is for cünting little twats.

  38. 38
    FFS says:

    The fact that 63million people in Britain think he’s a complete tosser and nothing he does between now and the day he dies will change that fact?

  39. 39
    Equine Nollidge says:

    Ian Dale’s diary heavily sedated.

  40. 40
    Podiceps says:

    What are you expect ‘the right’ to do? Vote for the party you advocate, which in thirteen years of bungling, plundering, war and lies reduced our country to the brink of ruin?

  41. 41
    I heart ur comment says:

    Who the fuck is Ian Dale?

  42. 42

    His Bach was worse than his upright.

  43. 43
    Sponsored Post says:

    This comment was brought to you by:-

    The Labour Party,
    Unite Against Facism,
    The European Union,
    The British Broadcasting Corporation,
    The Joseph Rowntree Trust.

    We would also like to thank Polly Toynbee, Peter Peston and the Fabian Society for their contributions to the text.

  44. 44
    Mad Bad Sad Al, upon waking says:

    O coward conscience, how dost thou afflict me!
    The lights burn blue. It is now dead midnight.
    Cold fearful drops stand on my trembling flesh.
    What do I fear? myself? there’s none else by:
    Mad Al loves Mad Al; that is, I am I.
    Is there a murderer here? No. Yes, I am:
    Then fly. What, from myself? Great reason why:
    Lest I revenge. What, myself upon myself?
    Alack. I love myself. Wherefore? for any good
    That I myself have done unto myself?
    O, no! alas, I rather hate myself
    For hateful deeds committed by myself!
    I am a villain: yet I lie. I am not.
    Fool, of thyself speak well: fool, do not flatter.
    My conscience hath a thousand several tongues,
    And every tongue brings in a several tale,
    And every tale condemns me for a villain.
    Perjury, perjury, in the high’st degree
    Murder, stem murder, in the direst degree;
    All several sins, all used in each degree,
    Throng to the bar, crying all, Guilty! guilty!
    I shall despair. There is no creature loves me;
    And if I die, no soul shall pity me:
    Nay, wherefore should they, since that I myself
    Find in myself no pity to myself?
    Methought the souls of all that I had murder’d
    Came to my tent; and every one did threat
    To-morrow’s vengeance on the head of Campbell.

  45. 45
    fuck nose says:

    Some prat whose arsehole whooshes rather than squeaks.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Only Ed can bring change…

  47. 47
    The Met says:

    We sell them

    £5 per name

  48. 48
    Tony Blair says:

    Lighten up, d00d.

    We *made* it.

    Sunny climes, suntan, fuck-loads of cash, shag Murdoch’s slitty bitch whenever I fancy a change from old “Missiaonary-position”.

    Crack open a bottle, Al, and take a chill pill.

    No, Al, not both at the same time …

    Al? ….. Al?

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    After that bunch of bollocks I have given up with is country

    Labour constantly duck the entire country and the Tories are regarded as nasty for trying to fix it every time they get voted in when people get sick of Labour . Then just as all the work starts to pay off they vote Labour back in again to start the cycle all over again

    FFS when are people going to Learn

    I agree with one thing UKIP splits the vote on the right but without a hope of winning themselves
    They will let Milliband in and achieve precisely the opposite of what they want
    If it wasn’t so fucking desperate I would laugh

    The Marxist twat and balls will destroy us

  50. 50
    Sir William Wayde says:

    I thought ketamine sent you to sleep?

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Piss mOrgan says:

    I thought I’d paid you to keep that quiet

  53. 53
    Sir William Wayde says:

    The patter of tiny minds

  54. 54
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Anyone than can get a dog to bark out of a Hammond in 1931 deserves respect.

  55. 55
    Peter Crook says:

    Yes, I’d like to have joined Facebook. But I didn’t have the Latin. I didn’t have the Latin to pass the Facebook exams. They are noted for their rigour, the Facebook exams. People come staggering out saying “Oh! My God! What a rigorous exam.” So I went to the Guido Fawkes site instead. They only ask you one question at the Guido Fawkes site. They say “Who are you?” And I got 75% right.

    The only trouble with the Guido Fawkes site is when you get too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. Well, the very opposite applies with Facebook.

    Still, I’d like to have joined Facebook.

  56. 56
    DLT says:

    I’m innocent! Proved innocent in a court of law in a trial for my liberty.

    Not something Tony Blair can honestly claim.

  57. 57
    FFS says:

    It is not UKIPs fault that 40% of the population think voting Labour is a good idea.

    The nation is already fucked, because most Brits are pricks.

  58. 58
    Ket me bitch up says:

    Facefuck is for the mong sheeple so I can’t see many here bothering.

  59. 59
    Tony Blair says:

    *insincere innocent face*

  60. 60
    FFS says:

    Not exactly proved innocent, more proved not guilty enough to be sent to gaol.

    I don’t think anybody is under the impression that you DIDN’T go round squeezing womens tits when they didn’t want you to, so your reputation is tarnished just as it should be.

    You are a sleazy groper and everybody knows it.

  61. 61


    But do I want to hear it more than once? ;-)

  62. 62
    average joanna says:

    Facebook is for twats.

  63. 63
    FFS says:

    I reckon there’s a good chance we can keep Facebook users so engrossed on Election Day that they won’t risk leaving their laptops and Labour won’t get a single vote.

  64. 64
    Postal Vote Corruption says:

    Lets not forget our many millions of enriching guests.

  65. 65
    A Twat says:

    Do you mind!

  66. 66

    But be fair, he was talking about Iain Dale’s Diary.

  67. 67
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Easily solved, don’t click on the play button again.

  68. 68
    F**k the LibLabCon (Guido stole my handle) says:

    No that’s Gordon Brown.

  69. 69
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I’ll bring some cucumber sandwiches, dear.

  70. 70
    broderick crawford says:

    old chinese proverb

    even the longest journey begins with the first step

  71. 71
    broderick crawford says:

    physician heal thyself

  72. 72
    F**k the LibLabCon (Guido stole my handle) says:

    Well reading through the comments on this post it should get Guido an extra 3 likes.

  73. 73
    Guido Fawkes says:

    ‘The patter of tiny minds’ keeps this blog running month after, endless, month.

  74. 74
    FFS says:

    Looks like a nice place. Not a jungle bunny in sight.

  75. 75
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    My prat tends to whoosh these days, dear.

  76. 76

    Dear Sir, I regret to inform that you are some 50 years out of date.

    The only place in the High Road, Chadwell Heath, that you can now get fitted up is Joe Corals.

    I remain, Sir, etc.

  77. 77

    Now, you have dismissed the possibility that I may want to hear it again!

    My question was rhetorical.

  78. 78
    The Progidy says:

    Smack my Facebook bitch up!

  79. 79
    Hairy arsed dick! says:

    Guido you are gorgeous in that Hat. What a hunk.

  80. 80
    The British media are cunts says:

    Lefty creep Jon Snow wanking on about climate change once again. Perhaps if Channel 4 stopped generating so much hot air we woudn’t have these problems?

    Why does Snow always sound so excited? Has he got the love eggs in?

    It’s not climate change you fucking lefty mongs it’s shit management of our rivers and flood defences going on since the Environment Agency was created.

    Channel 4 should stick to what lefties do best, fuck all.

  81. 81
    Blame the victim says:

    Runners & riders all the way to prison.

  82. 82
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    Someone pointed out yesterday the disturbing similarities between the life of Al Campbell, and that of Goebbels.

    They also stated what has been imparted as common knowledge, that Goebbels killed himself by taking cyanide.

    There is much evidence to suggest that the suicide story is not entirely true.

    The extensive bruising on Goebbels’s face and the broken nose for example, suggest that death may have been a little more traumatic and less self inflicted that history has led many to believe.

    Al Campbell would be wise to take note of that.

  83. 83
    Trivial minds says:

    Facebook is for people who are so dull they are of no interest to the NSA

  84. 84
    Jungle bunny says:

    So far.

    We’re working on it.

    Ain’t that right Dave?

  85. 85
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Save Carbon: Shut down Channel 4.

  86. 86
    Handicock says:

    Do they sell aprons?

  87. 87
    The SS says:

    He walked into a door

  88. 88
    A Complete Nerd says:

    @BPG: I think you will find that is a Compton Organ, not a Hammond.

    I will say no more on the matter.

  89. 89
  90. 90
    G. Roper says:


  91. 91
    ßilly ßowden, a poo-shiner says:

    Is I on FB yet guidio ??

  92. 92
    The Bailey says:

    Except that the jury found otherwise.

  93. 93
    Guido Fawkes says:

    I do hope so.

  94. 94
    First Great Western says:

    For us it’s less of a proverb than a mission statement

  95. 95

    By God, he’s right!

    We have got to start this all off again, BPG.

    You better go out and walk in again.

    *Re-dons funny hat and false beard*

    OK, Take 2! Cameras! Action!

  96. 96
    ßilly ßowden, a poo-shiner says:

    i defend you’re right to make that sarcastic comment etc.

  97. 97
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Anyone than can get a dog to bark out of a Compton in 1931 deserves respect.

  98. 98
    Life & Leisure Magazine says:

    Sperm. It’s wonderful spread on toast, rolls, pancakes, but to honest I love eating it straight from the jar with a spoon.

  99. 99
    Wills and Hal says:

    Shut up you old creep and come and help us with the sandbags.

  100. 100
    The British media are cunts says:

    Jon Snow appeared to get sexually aroused when he started talking about a giant sausage.

  101. 101
    FFS says:

    Please God, no!

  102. 102
    Throg says:

    Alistair – get over your blues by taking a nice long walk.

    Harrowdown Hill would be good.

    Sponsored by Victorinox – sample sent Fedex

    PS Take your wife with you

  103. 103
    Peter Mandelson says:

    I’ve got a couple of teabags if you want them

  104. 104
    When did chicken in a basket go out of fashion? says:

    It would have to be Glasgow…

  105. 105
    David Cameron's retired old Police Horse says:

    These days I use ketamine to help me get a good nights sleep.

    For what it’s worth, I find Mr Fawkes’s Facebook page to be like I’ain Dale’s diary dipped in napalm.


  106. 106
    The Jury says:

    Actually we didn’t. Couldn’t make our mind up on the two most serious charges. The others we couldn’t give a fuck about. The women should have complained at the time, not 40 years later.

  107. 107
    Ban the Left says:

    The image of Al Campbell brutally slaying his family with a Swiss Army knife in the woods whilst having some sort of psychotic depressive episode is disturbingly plausible.

    One hopes that he seeks professional help if he ever feels such an impulse.

  108. 108
    FFS says:

    Maybe he meant carotene? Makes you go orange.

  109. 109
    Throg says:

    Problem is whenever the weather girl comes on, Jon Snow fantasises about copulating with her and so has to knock one out, sotto voce off camera.

    Said jism must to be cleared up very quickly, hence the need for garish ties, which is the best way to cover up the evidence of the sin of onan.


    *Please check colourfastness first
    ** Will not work on THAT dress Mr President

  110. 110
    Tim Yeo says:

    Turned out nice again. Great investment, these solar panels.

  111. 111
    The Bailey says:

    You didn’t find him guilty. Which means he is not guilty.

  112. 112
    Sausage Watch says:

    Cumberland ?

    Or the Cameron…

  113. 113
    D a v i d K e l l y says:

    Wouldn’t be the first time…..

  114. 114
    The Jury says:

    In a strict legal sense, yes, but in a logical sense, no. As the Scots would say: “Guilt not proven”.

    And anyway, he did squeeze the odd titty. I saw him do it myself at a Radio 1 roadshow.

  115. 115

    May have been my fault.

    Iain Dale’s Dairy?

  116. 116
    The Population says:

    40%? In your dreams.

  117. 117
    Year of the Wooden Horse says:


  118. 118
    And it's raining, raining in my heart says:

    Just had someone on Sky and he shut the bloody woman in wellies whose been paddling about, rambling on about floods and climate change , the guy said there is a difference between climate change and it will take years to tell if it was, he says it’s just that the heat in southern climes has picked up vast amounts of water and we are the end of the weather cycle and it’s dumping it on us, she couldn’t get rid of the guy fast enough, climate change fckall, weather 180.

  119. 119

    Hang on!

    I have not done my His Bach was worse than his upright bit!

    Search that on Google and you won’t find another. This blogging lark is not as simple as it looks.

    Take 3!

  120. 120
    Jack Dromedary says:

    The Eurozone is now growing faster than my cock when I watch BBC.

  121. 121
    M102 says:

    That is not a Hammond

  122. 122
    David Cameron's Hairy Hoover says:
    Haaaaaaaiiiiiirrrrrrrrryyyyy, Hoooooooooooovvvvverrrrrrrrrr,
       Woof woof, bazinga, cherching,
          If you wanna unique Google hit,
            Try Googling me !
      Hairy-hoover, Hairy-hoover, Hairy-hoover,
       Forever in Google with Cameron sucks...
    Haaaaaaaiiiiiirrrrrrrrryyyyy, Hoooooooooooovvvvverrrrrrrrrr.
  123. 123
    Since when has groping been an imprisonable offence 30 years after the non-fact? says:

    Leave it out!

  124. 124
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Do they sell rulers, compasses and dividers?

  125. 125
    Crustacean says:

    St Pa​​​​​ul likes lobsters.

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Labour – the party of ethnic cleansing.

  127. 127
    Atari 8-Bit is streets ahead says:

    Google is fucking useless.

  128. 128
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is that you Lynton or the other subagent you brought in quietly under the radar from downunder to help with your propaganda?

    Aussies – who speak with ‘forked-tongues’ are getting what they deserve worldwide; Lynton. Take fucking note.

  129. 129
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And there are still questions being asked about – what is a properly informed jury?

    e.g. Are the jury openly told that it is they who decide / they who hold the power; or is there much chicanery by the actors playing their parts in surreptitiously deceiving jurors into beliefs as they are ‘directed’ (and made fearful of contempt) by the director of acting Mr Justice Wiggs and co?

  130. 130
    Innocent unless proven guitly beyond reasonable doubt says:

    Your ‘not proven’ concept, it does not exist in English law. Which is a good thing, in my book. Scots law is very inferior in that regard, as there is no finality to it. It is the smear-laden injustice of the Calvinistic witchunt; the generatror of small village tittle-tattle, which leads to the ducking stool and the oppressiveness of the scarlet letter.

    The same legal system has been host to numerous notorious and ridiculous witchhunts, as the ‘no smoke without fire’ attitude in the petty sex-obsessed minds of so called child care experts has ruined many peoples’ lives. eg http://www.independent.co.uk/news/ritual-abuse-families-tell-of-years-of-hell-1575174.html

  131. 131
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Have you got a mind that can think for itself?

  132. 132
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I would be able to reply if I could see my keyboard with my ‘low-energy’ flourescent lightbulb.

  133. 133
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And as for CH4’s other in house global nutjob Tom Clarke – well he would promote that 5hit of Climate change – his fucking career has been built upon the lie and he’s not likely to kill the golden goose of his moneygrubbing any day now is he?

  134. 134
    Dolly Dale & Mandy says:

    Is it raining men yet?

  135. 135
    Anon says:

    I absolutely share your concern, BW, about some juries, but found I was pleasntly surprised when I did jury service myself, and have to say that my fears were not born out in my personal experience.

    Far from being a bunch of meek and ignorant empty vessels, my fellow jurors turned out to be a fair cross section of society, yet all were intelligently engaged with the processs and more than equal to the task of thinking for themselves, not only about what the judge, prosecution and defence said the law is but where we as a jury considered its limits ought to lie when applied in practice.

    The foreman was chosen becuase of a clear skillset which made him ably suited to chairing the group fairly; everyone contributed to the discussions, listened respectfully to each other and disagreements were civilised, dealt with in a structured manner and every element of our findings, although not told to the judge, who simply heard our decision, would in fact have been capable of being articulated in a reasoned and logical manner to everyone on the jury’s satisfaction before we returned to give our verdict.

  136. 136
    Simon Crr says:

    I still want my pay for 2013, Geeds.

  137. 137
    i don't need no doctor says:

    Snow is a total embarrassment.

  138. 138
    Blowing Whistles says:

    In a couple of weeks the government will anounce an inquiry into all of the flooding, non dredging of the rivers for years and that they will ‘learn lessons moving forward’

    The inquiry will be a cross party inquiry where – not one political or ‘Independent’ [yes you know – completely independent of the public that is] ‘safe pair of hands’ [?] individual in attendance will have any conflict of interest to declare / prior party line to keep to / hidden agenda either political or financial to conceal – that will keep them coralled like a fucking lying sheep as per usual as is the form in these faux inquiries.

  139. 139
    Simon Crr says:

    From Greggs, was it?

  140. 140
    Dave says:

    You need a bigger windmill

  141. 141
    Spare your blushes says:

    Have you tried ice?

  142. 142
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Huge fraud case of some bloke called Wilson at Southwark Crown Court today – who defrauded hundreds of people of about 25 million pounds in a Madoff style scam. And he was living it up at Sandbanks Poole Dorset on millionaires row …

    No doubt the nationals will be keeping rather silent about it tomorrow; what with all the extreme guff they are tasked with selling the public about global fucking windbagging.

  143. 143
    The char says:

    Who was Ian Dury’s Daily?

  144. 144
    FFS says:

    You are indeed serious. A bit like getting bubonic plague is serious.

  145. 145
    Mr Plod says:

    The same ketamine that’s a horse tranquiliser? Right…..

  146. 146
    Persil says:

    Never mix coloureds with whites.

  147. 147
    Blowing Whistles says:

    He is recommended to Please also take a leaf out of the japanese art of Hari Kari as an ultimate way out from the devils of his doings and wrongdoings.

  148. 148
    Gordon Brown says:

    For Valentines Day, I’m having a candlelit dinner with the love of my life. As for Sarah, she’s in Canterbury with the love of HER life.

  149. 149
    Everyone in Chingford says:

    There are a lot of folk waiting for the trial of Patrick Coppeard: also alleged to have run some kind of Madoff scheme, taking in many people from St John’s church in Buckhurst Hill – a well-healed list of parishioners who are thought to have lost many millions of pounds of savings between them. Even now it is said that his list of alleged victims is incomplete.

    As a magistrate, (and possibly a freemason) you’d have thought his alleged crime might have had more publicity.

  150. 150
    FFS says:

    Exactly the same polar vortex weather system which has been inflicted on us for the last 6 weeks has been dumping huge amounts of snow on North America.

    One weather system does not a climate change make.

  151. 151
    Single White Male says:

    Fuck Valentines Day. Yes, I’m currently single, and while I obviously miss the sex, I don’t miss the nagging and arguing that comes with some relationships. I’m certainly glad I’m not married. Men always do worst out of divorce settlements. I intend to be rich one day and I’m not going to have that go up in smoke with a fat payout to an ex-wife.

  152. 152
    Steve Nugent says:

    Plaistow Patricia

    Arseholes, bastards, fucking Hunts and pricks
    Aerosol the bricks
    A lawless brat from a council flat
    A little bit of this and a little bit of that
    Dirty tricks

    From the Mile End Road
    To the Matchstick, Beacontree
    Pulling strokes and taking liberties
    She liked it best when she went up West
    You can go to hell with your well, well, well

    Who said good things always come in threes
    Reds and yellows, purples, blues and greens
    She turned the corner before she turned fifteen
    She got into a mess on the NHS
    It runs down your arms and settles in your palms
    Keep your eyeballs white and keep your needle clean

    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia

    Her tits had dropped, her arse was getting spread
    She’d lost some teeth, she’d nearly lost the thread
    She did some smack with a Chinese chap
    An affair began with Charlie Chan
    Well that was just before she really lost her head

    Now she owns a showroom down the Mile End Road
    And her outer garments are the latest mode
    There’s a Siamese cat in the council flat
    The finest grains for my lady’s veins
    And when it’s out of order, she goes away for a bit

    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Plaistow Patricia
    Go on girl!

  153. 153
    Special K says:

    I tried ketamine once. I don’t see how it can be a clubbing drug. You can’t dance while on it. It slows your movements and all you can do is lie down. Perception of time slows right down. What feels like 6 hours is actually just one hour. Not a substance I’d bother with.

  154. 154
    Have Pine Tree says:

    Strangely, ‘Hari Kiri’, as the practice is known in the West is the spoken form of the act, while the Japanese tend to use the word ‘Seppuku’ when writing about it.

    I don’t suppose that Mad Al would concern himself with the subtleties.

  155. 155
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To Anon – thank you for your comment. Unfortunately in 2012 i attended at a Crown Court trial – knowing every facet and detail of the case – yet the judge in the case despicably ‘ignored’ ‘incontrovertible evidence’ from a lesser court which ought to have been put to the jury. The trial was the shortest trial in this country for decades.

    And to anyone … now thinking of erupting into some kind of get BW for that statement ….. i through legal and lawful endeavours and being very careful managed 100% lawfully to gain ‘legal priviledge’ into the facts from both the trial and lesser case; but moreover into the dirtiest fucking games of those atop the busted criminal justice system – only concerned with their fucked up probity.

  156. 156
    Najinsky says:

    Not the mosty dignified of dance drugs, is it?

  157. 157
    bing says:

    Alex Salmond is dense as fuck

    The twat really thought England would be lender of last resort to the land of Gordon Brown

    Its like guaranteeing your ex wifes visa card after you have divorced her for spending too much


    do the Scotch have any self respect


  158. 158
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Even as a magistrate – he will have had ‘inside knowledge’ as to how JP’s are mere puppet fronts giving the presumption (to the public) that they; the three jp’s are dispensing justice when they are ‘only ‘directed’ by the Clerk [A Barrister who they are suborned to take heed of] as to what the decision behind the scenes has been decided already.

    The decades of smoke ‘n mirrors surrounding Magistrates’ courts are for those who do not know or care – being revealed every day by i and many (a growing army of The Public) good people who they cannot shut up any longer.

  159. 159
    Lonesome Travellator says:

    Better to say ‘no comment’.

  160. 160
    Owen Jones says:

    The body of my fellow socialist, Goebbels, was burned after his noble self-sacrifice.
    You are, perhaps, thinking of his 12-year-old daughter Helga, whose body later underwent an autopsy. Her fine (national) Socialist parents had administered morphine to knock her out before murdering her with cyanide, but unfortunately she appears to have come round and struggled, and it was necessary to be rather more forceful, which resulted in a broken jaw.
    Alas, such methods are oftn necessary to bring about the inevitable socialist utopia.

  161. 161
    Not The Economist says:

    The game of pass the debt parcel will come to an end – temporarily – soon when the Fed has a break from printing money.

    When that happens, you have a choice:

    Go with Sterling, Euro’s, or Yen / Yuan.

    Most with real $ may decide to sit on the fence with a smaller amount of currency, and relax in their realized assets.

    That will be the time when the global depression really strikes.

    Atlas is getting ready to shrug.

  162. 162
    Reality Cheque says:

    Lib Dems mired in row after party donor blacklisted by fraud squad
    Benefactor Sudhir Choudhrie who donated £500,000 to party is named as arms dealer on Indian police list of ‘undesirables’…………….Grauniad.

    So now the worship of the sub continent influx and effniks in general becomes clearer.

  163. 163
    Got any spare change? says:

    You don’t get what you don’t ask for.

  164. 164
    Sir William Wayde says:

    We look forward to the book.

  165. 165
    M102 says:


  166. 166
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Every time we have bad weather in this country it throws the media, the politicians and the quack scientists into a frenzy of sententious drivelling. The rest of us cope as best we can, without panicking. What would it be like if we had seriously threatening weather such as hurricanes, 45-degree heat or temperatures cold enough to freeze petrol?

    We need 100% more quiet competence and 100% less noisy showing-off.

  167. 167
    bing says:

    White Dee is looking for a boyfriend

  168. 168
    Aslan says:

    Talking of which, we haven’t heard much from Professor Turkey since his return from Narnia. Is he stuck in the wardrobe?

  169. 169
  170. 170
    Somerset Levels says:

    Ironically, given the weather, land is not very liquid.

  171. 171
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Could you put Matthew Barrett’s details up first please and indicate whether or not he decided to go native some years ago because he might have known what was coming; and had decided to go native in order to obtain the huge pay off including the huge pension pay off?

    Barring that what about all the execitve office directors’ details of Barratt’s time?

    oh and btw Gordon F Pell formerly the deputy Chief executive officer of R.bs is a fucking lying duplicitous cnut who has concealed moneylaundering – but taken the pay off al la Shreddie the freddy.

  172. 172
    C.O.Jones says:

    Anyone else only get 3 VD cards today?

  173. 173
    Blowing Whistles says:

    HPT – he who lives by the Sword should die by the Sword of Damoclese.

    Campbell and Co were the disaster – that Murdoch brought to the British Public.

  174. 174
    M. Alexander Salmondo says:

    We will declare ourselves independent.

    Here are our terms…..

    1] You will give us all your money

    2] You will pay off our debts

    3] You will give us more money if we ask for it

    4] We will take all the oil

    What do you mean “Fuck off”?

  175. 175
  176. 176
  177. 177
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To Sir Willie – in the meantime perhaps you might wish to read ‘Gulag a history by Anne Applebaum – i read it on holiday once some years ago.

    ‘victors’ justice’, dubious commie judges at neuremberg etc –

    Oh the ‘irony’ of having been fortunate to have stumbled luckily upon that book and of having the time to read it. Such Irony.

  178. 178
    Still on bail says:

    So do I



  179. 179
    NHS says:

    Why wouldn’t you?

  180. 180
    FFS says:

    Fair comment, but he should have been exposed as a titty grabber and then lost his job at the time.

    I never liked the arrogant c u n t anyway. Would have been doing me a favour if he had never been allowed on Radio 1. Same as the rest of those DJs of that time TBH.

    Quite glad he has had his name dragged through the mud. Justice seen to be done I would say.

  181. 181
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The msm creeps are desperate to get some dead bodies / some devastating stories where they can talk it all up – Sam Kiley (and others) War reporting style … they ‘thrive’ on death and murder for their media moguls’ pleasure – the spinless bastards.

  182. 182
    Táxpáyér says:

    Decades ahead of its time. Like most Kubrick.

  183. 183
    Táxpáyér says:

  184. 184
    FFS says:

    Women are like mobile phones.

    You can take out a long term contract and pay monthly, but you get lots of terms and conditions and features you never asked for, and often you don’t get a very good service.

    My advice would be to try “Pay as you go”. You get exactly the service you want at a price you can afford, no extras, no long list of terms and conditions. You can also take out a new model whenever you like.

    Works for me.

  185. 185
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Except NTE – you could just be a troll – who is surreptitiously ramping up the ‘fear factor’ … of a global depression.

    Not a day sooner can the banksters (And the economic with the truth economists who sell on their financial tricks) be hung for their deeds.

  186. 186
    Fat Fingers says:


    Not only did you never ask for the added features, you have no idea what they are actually for or how to manage them once you know.

  187. 187
    Táxpáyér says:

    You must be bored now there’s no envelopes to stuff with postal “votes”.

  188. 188
    Táxpáyér says:

    Fastest acting anti-psychotic.

  189. 189
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    More good news about the regime which Owen Jones and D’iane A’bbott MP wholly support in Venezuela:

  190. 190
    The British media are cunts says:

    Media mongs.

  191. 191
    Whose Space Programme? says:

    Hmmm. India.

    I wonder if it is time for us to have a long hard look at the place. The country is looking increasingly nasty these days.


  192. 192
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    And another good article about the self destructing socialist state, which Owen Jones and D’iane A’bbott MP are so keen on:

    Lots of oil wealth but:

    i) Toyota and Ford cutting production: 722 cars sold last year in the country of 29 million people.

    ii) 3 Carriers have grounded flights to / from Venezuela due to the government not settling $3.3bn of debts owed.

    iii) 12 papers have closed down in the past 6 months. More publishers are likely to go as well due to government induced paper shortages.

    And now the government has started to kill its people and ban public protest, even though such protest is completely legitimate.

    Just in case there is any doubt: Socialism does not work.

  193. 193
    There is nothing useful about an idiot says:

    Jones should speak out and condemn these atrocities. Until he does he is just a two-bit apologist for thugs and murderers.

  194. 194
    Not The Economist says:

    Would have a good look at what is going on in global trade (check the shipping indices for bulk goods), and in particular the dangerous signals coming from the emerging market economies – particularly the BRICS.

    Ignore the ‘Banksters’ – it is the central banks and what is going on at that level that one should focus on.

  195. 195
    There is nothing useful about an idiot says:

  196. 196
    EU Watch says:

    Greece is still far from settled:

    Yesterday, the police were protesting over reforms which are being pushed through. Their complaint is that the set of bills are not going to have positive effect on the police but are simply designed to help G’reece meet some of its commitments:


  197. 197
  198. 198
    Buba says:

    They should leave the Euro. Until they do, they are just prolonging their agony.

  199. 199
    EU Watch says:

    Banning public protest seems to be the pattern in Latin nations.

    In Spain last week were big demonstrations against the anti-demonstration laws:

  200. 200
    EU Watch says:

    This is happening without your consent:

    Should perhaps be mentioned widely in the run up to the Euro elections, despite it seems the opinion of the member states not meaning anything.

  201. 201

    When the Greek Euro traitors can no longer rely on the police the game is up!

  202. 202
    Anaesthetist says:

    Ketamine is an anaesthetic. Stop misusing it.

  203. 203
    EU Watch says:

    The Gay legislation, of the kind which Cameron has brought to the UK is equally unwelcome in France:

  204. 204

    The enjoyable slow death of the EU !

  205. 205
    EU Watch says:

    This is another good reason to exit the EU:

    Should any right minded English person wish to be paying into a club which buys membership with a country that wishes to even consider such legislation ?

  206. 206

    Death is too good for the fucking idiot!

  207. 207
  208. 208
    EU Watch says:

    The EU will probably kill this one when people have forgotten about him:

  209. 209
    Independence for Falkirk says:

  210. 210
    U K I P P E R S says:

    Tory boys got an ass whooping lol

  211. 211
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    This is the level at which Owen is operating publicly at the moment:

    Behind that mask of down to earth idiocy, lurks a nasty little thuggish git.

  212. 212
    Marius was murdered by morons says:

    The Danes are still Hunts

  213. 213
    so what else do you suggest? says:

  214. 214
    F**k the LibLabCon (Guido stole my handle) says:

    Lessons will be learned no doubt.

  215. 215
    Dr Frankenfreud says:

    Actually, he’s a wimp. But he likes the idea of violence.

    He hasn a Walter Mitty-like fantasy life involving being in the vanguard of a heroic gang of socialists manning the barricades somewhere to the last drop of their communard blood, but his other fantasy comflicts with this as he also wishes he could go stomping around in jackboots and a long leather overcoat like Strelnikov in Dr Zhivago, putting all his enemies up against the wall and having them shot.

  216. 216
    Corruption Watch says:

    That is very strange. Who has bribed whom?

  217. 217
    Ah! future says:

    headline in the Independent…..
    BBC news accused of political bias – but to the right, not left
    Corporation accused of yielding to political pressure since 2015 election

  218. 218
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    David Cameron has another massive problem he can no longer avoid:


    So – now the ‘fruitcakes, loons and closet rac!sts’ are putting the Conservatives into third place quite regularly, Cameron is going to start listening to them.

    To paraphrase Ed Balls: Too little, too late.

    The damage is now done – The Conservatives need to change their leader, before the idiot drags himself and the party through another ‘money is no object’ fiasco.

  219. 219
    Ed milliband's mum says:

    I’d like an abortion please.

    When did I become pregnant?

    About 45 years ago

  220. 220
    Not Wanted On Voyage says:

  221. 221
  222. 222
    Dave says:

    Blah blah blah

    Oooooohhhhhhh…. look over there.

  223. 223
    Abdul the envelope stuffer says:

    I am very sorry sir. We are not giving you those splendid election results yet.

    You are paying this invoice first. We are VAT exempt.

  224. 224
    Podiceps says:

    All children? Bloody hell. No more Belgians. I suppose they need the space for car parking for EU officials.

  225. 225
  226. 226
    Táxpáyér says:

    It’s a giraffe, a cow with a long neck.

  227. 227
    Táxpáyér says:

    Good news.

    I was annoyed the EUSSR had the authority to limit my choice of food-stuffs.

  228. 228
    Táxpáyér says:

    Also the service works > 75% of the time.

  229. 229
    Podiceps says:

    A classic socialist diversionary tactic. When the left accuse anyone of doing something, be sure that it’s because they are doing it themselves.

  230. 230
    non taxable pikey says:

    For all his faults, and they are legion, I have to give him praise for his Leukemia Research fundraising. He has raised a very large amount for them, often the hard way. I passed him struggling round the London Triathlon course a few years ago, he was finding it a bit challenging but he did finish and clocked up £300k doing it.

  231. 231
    early bird says:

    Sky has Lord “extremely” Stern on this morning warning us all that our futures are likely to be either like the Sahara or underwater. But could not seem to be able to determine which….

  232. 232
    non taxable pikey says:

    One of those more unfortunate name choices by a Japanese motor manufacturer. To name your 4×4 pick up after the best selling American condom. Still Essex boy probably won’t notice.

  233. 233
    early bird says:

    … and all from different clinics?

  234. 234
    non taxable pikey says:

    A lot of Sterling being bought at the moment.

  235. 235
    early bird says:

    Do you think his mum knows about all this?

  236. 236
    early bird says:

    But where is all the money going?

  237. 237
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    The more that pathetic (vnts like you, (optional), slag off UKIP, the more determined I am to vote for them. Tosser!

  238. 238
    Jack Dromey says:

    Do they serve black puddings?

  239. 239
    The Opium Wars says:

    True. Not many people know for instance that Chairman Mao funded his revolution by selling opium.

  240. 240
    Independence for Somerset says:

    Opium Smokers will be put on the next train to London where they belong.

  241. 241

    What have the EU got against giraffes , is it something they said?

  242. 242
    Time to bury the main-stream media and look for the truth says:

    This sort of thing has been going on for some considerable time, although it does seem to have become even more blatantly OTT of late. Much of the media has evidently been told to follow a specific agenda.
    The Met Office should be shut down as it is obviously no longer fit for purpose.
    The planned shut-down of much of the rail network recently is a case in point, all because some twat at the Met office suggested there might be a storm in a week’s time. “That’s handy” someone thought, “that’ll fit right in with the agenda.” Shame they didn’t bother to check a real weather forecast because then they would have seen that the storm was going to be relatively minor.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers