February 13th, 2014

Labour’s One Nation Policy Review Went Well Then

Labour are so proud of their new One Nation policy document that they have snuck it out online with absolutely no fanfare or promotion on a Thursday afternoon. Skimming through the 63 pages of dry wonkery, Guido did stumble upon one line summing it all up:

Honesty is the best policy…

One other word of advice: if you’re going to come up with a policy on “English language learning”, you should probably try to spell it correctly:

That went almost as well as Ed’s big speech on Monday…

You can read the whole thing here, if you really want to.

128 Comments

  1. 1
    Blooming Godfrey says:

    Annoying pseudo communists!

  2. 2
    Robert says:

    Ed had a big speech on Monday?

  3. 3
    Hah! says:

    Spell it correctly? Pot and kettle! :-)

  4. 4
    The EU says:

    Surprised that they could spell English.

  5. 5
    cornwall storms says:

    “eds big speech on Monday” ?

    What big speech?

  6. 6
    Where's Ed? says:

  7. 7
    Spartacus says:

    snuck?

    wonkery?

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    I think that proves they haven’t got enough policy ideas to fill the back of a fag packet

  9. 9
  10. 10
    Podiceps says:

    Ducashun, ducazen, ducathien.

  11. 11
    Unbelievable! says:

    Mother’s anger after council install ‘slalom’ ramp for disabled daughter in front garden

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10636165/Mothers-anger-after-council-install-slalom-ramp-for-disabled-daughter-in-front-garden.html

    The mother of a disabled girl have criticised housing officials after they installed a £40,000 eyesore ‘slalom-style’ ramp over ten levels outside her home

  12. 12
    Sinister Britain says:

    The CPS is out of control.

  13. 13

    The Mirror Online’s Conservative politics panelist Alec Shelbrooke?

    Have I gone to sleep and awoken a century later?

  14. 14

    BTW The Mirror is using a USA spell checker for the word panellist.

  15. 15
  16. 16
    Take the Dog for a walk says:

    PresenterDavid Dimbleby
    .ParticipantDamian Green
    .ParticipantChris Bryant
    .ParticipantJanice Atkinson
    .ParticipantRobert Winston
    .ParticipantCristina Odone

  17. 17
    the shoveler says:

    Good grief! WTF? Speechless at this lunacy! If you do nothing else today click on the above link, best example of council waste you will ever see.

  18. 18
    Over-enriched says:

    If that’s Question Time I never, ever watch it. The sight of all those bused-in effnix became too much for me.

  19. 19
    British Bulldog says:

    What a bunch of amateurs. Labour ransacked the economy last time, it’s astonishing that anyone outside of the public sector would vote for them.

  20. 20
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    He just keeps on giving , what a prize plonker .

  21. 21
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    Now takes the daughter three days to cross the garden. Elfin Safety Nazis go mental again.

  22. 22
    A Big Red Knob says:

  23. 23
    Elsie Hargreaves 5 Railway Terrace Dewsbury says:

    “Caps and full transparency on pension charges” .

    Well this is a really original idea.

    I wonder who thought this up and when.

    It would interest my Grandad only he has been dead for the last thirty years.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    “Ironically because it was the Treasury that insisted on having the free flow of labour because they thought it brought down the cost of labour”

    This would tend to suggest the Gordon Brown was probably a right-wing shill all along.

  25. 25
    Captain Black says:

    It’s not dissimilar to those numpties who decry “organize” as the “American spelling”.

    Stop using your Microsoft spell check and look it up in the dictionary, preferably the OED.

  26. 26
    gra smi says:

    Just going through my collection of severe weather warnings
    Got some swaps if anyone is interested

  27. 27
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Key Policy Translated;
    1 Get some Herberts to clean up some canal banks led by older workers who have lost their jobs (2 birds one stone)
    2 Teach loads of non english speakers how to sign benefit forms
    3 Nothing fresh to say delete it all
    4 Free money for big business to trouser
    5 Make everybody work, more workers, more tax (unfortunately the new jobs will all be public sector)
    6 More free money for the bankers
    7 Gobbledygook and jobs for the boys (and girls)
    8 See 1
    9 More benefits for core labour supporters as a thank you for putting us back in power

  28. 28
    He's not very good at Wellies says:

  29. 29
  30. 30
    the shoveler says:

    That would read better if you put Dimblebore at the bottom. Save the disappointment for last.

  31. 31

    The Scottish Nationalists have completely lost the plot over currency union:

    http://tinyurl.com/kqwxo7v

  32. 32
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    Point one on the policy document, a compulsory jobs guarantee scheme
    Just how and by whom are the jobs being guaranteed, and who will be compelled to do what ,and who will be doing the compelling ?
    Can some one please explain?

  33. 33
    Ed's fathion tipth says:

    Today, I will be mothtly weawing ….. black wellieth.

  34. 34
    Too Many Fried Mars Bars That one says:

  35. 35
    Persona non grata says:

    Civil war come s to Greece, it was only a matter of time. You can only subjugate and abuse people for so long before they snap.

    http://tinyurl.com/lacxpw8

  36. 36
    A gift to Cameron says:

    Delete unless there is something more concrete we can say.

  37. 37
    Mrs Jones says:

    Does Ed know that the fishpond is there?

  38. 38
    Knut Hairybreeks says:

    Now that’s concrete.

    Why TF does the little prick who wrote the policy doc think that “concrete” is an adjective applicable to speech?

  39. 39
    We are all managers now says:

    Exactly.

  40. 40
    seriously? says:

    There was a speech?

  41. 41
    Cash cow. No18073004 says:

    Wankery

  42. 42
    If it matters says:

    AFAIK in Britain words of Greek origin have -ize and those of Latin origin
    -ise.

  43. 43
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    The ramp is bad, but wtf is going on with the T’Graph ?

    I quote the opening para:

    ‘The mother of a disabled girl have criticised housing officials after they installed a £40,000 eyesore ‘slalom-style’ ramp over ten levels outside her home.’

    – ????

    Surely the mother in this case must have figured something was amiss when the ramp was being constructed. That kind of engineering doesn’t happen overnight.

  44. 44
    Knut Hairybreeks says:

    Fantastic link! Thx!

  45. 45
    seriously? says:

    It’s Scotland. Money is no object. Everybody works for the state or is on benefits. Apart from Aberdeen which, Salmond hopes, will continue to pump enough money out of the ground to pay for all this lunacy.

  46. 46
    David Camerøn says:

    Is that HS3 ?

  47. 47
    Think I'll Watch a DVD. says:

    Wtf is Janice Atkinson?

  48. 48
    UKIP says:

    Certainly not the white working class.

  49. 49
    Knut Hairybreeks says:

    Nope. See Fowler.

  50. 50
    White D says:

    I’ll vote for him even if he is a fucking knob. It’s the bennies, stupid.

  51. 51
    jgm2 says:

    Money no object Ned? What limit would you place on the amount Ned?

  52. 52
    Grotbags says:

    FOODBANK
    FLOODBANK
    FLIPFLOP
    NO LOLLIPOP

  53. 53
    Knut Hairybreeks says:

    The Scottish Nationalists have completely lost the plot over currency union.

    FIFY

  54. 54

    I was using my own knowledge and not a spell checker, Microsoft or otherwise

    My OED is 500km away. I have the complete work in book form. However, here is a view of the on-line version which clearly states:
    panellist (US panelist)

    link:

    http://tinyurl.com/m5paqum

    Suggest you check your facts before you post again.

  55. 55
    jgm2 says:

    Gordon Brown is insane. He had no interest in what was happening as long as he got to dr*i*ve the big bus of state. Toot toot. Look at me. I’m PM. Toot toot.

  56. 56
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    If Salmond thinks that after years of insult and denigration the English people or whats left of them would tolerate for one moment a currency union with the moaning ,bellyaching malcontents he should be told to go and piss up his kilt.
    Scotland will never be able to keep the grasping hands of the EU off their oil and gas reserves on their own, it will be classed as a common European resource as a price for entering the Eurozone .

  57. 57
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    If I may be so bold, that’s a very long bookshelf you must have.

    Did the council provide it ? :-)

  58. 58
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    The fucking chameleon also has his hands in the shape of a heart.

    Who does he think he is Derren Brown?

  59. 59
    Mong The Miliband says:

    Ed practices his sex face.

  60. 60
    Puny says:

    He’s no Putin, is he?

  61. 61
    Body Mass Index says:

    Poverty without starvation, evidently.

  62. 62

    Do you realise that you will be forced to present your passport first if you wish to post on here, should Salmond get his way?

  63. 63
    d alls says:

    ankers

  64. 64
    Incorpreal Jones says:

    Calm down, it’s just a turd in a fish pond.

  65. 65
    Mong The Miliband says:

    Not the white working classes who continued to vote Labour.

  66. 66
    What, no windmill? says:

    Where’s the recharger for her wheelchair eco-batteries?

  67. 67
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    There seems to be no problem with food prices in Falkirk ,it looks as if she’s caused a famine somewhere!

  68. 68
    Dave Marsden, Croydon says:

    Note the last bullet point: “Higher Job Seekers Allowance”.

    Sounds like Labour are planning a welfare spending spree again!

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    How much space do you need to write tax and spend.

  70. 70
    Puny says:

    And who is going to do the ‘recognising contribution ‘ in the dishing out of social housing?
    There’s massive corruption potential there.

  71. 71
    Rip Van Winkle says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  72. 72
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Poverty is as poverty does.
    Pass the tortillas and dips.

  73. 73
    Gooey Blob says:

    Cameron’s Tories are “one nation”, Labour are not. Business basher Miliband has taken his party to the left of where it was under Brown, and hard to the left of Blair. Calling that one nation would be akin to calling Thatcher a socialist. Laughable.

  74. 74
    Botox says:

    Nasty case of crows feet

  75. 75
    jgm2 says:

    working families. [TICK]

    Cost of Living crisis [TICK]

    Do they have anything original to say at all? Anything?

    Thought not.

    Dis she mug a morbidly obese Pearly King for that jacket?

  76. 76
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Simply a thank you for core supporters and “postal” voters.

  77. 77
    Dexter Britain says:

    Vote UKIP

  78. 78
    Anglo-Scot says:

    Should Salmond have his way I will have two passports. I have not yet decided if I should post twice as often.

  79. 79
    Gooey Blob says:

    Sneaked.

  80. 80
    Karen Whitefield says:

    I parrot labour mantras. I parrot labour mantras. I parrot labour mantras. I parrot labour mantras. I parrot labour mantras. I parrot labour mantras. I’m a labour parrot.

  81. 81
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Far lefty group is one thing.

    Civil war will exist properly when the Greek military is brought out against the people.

  82. 82
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    The same ones who will be carrying out the ” wrap around ” child care for 25 hrs!

  83. 83
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Walking food banks?.

  84. 84
    T'u'rd is banned? says:

    Look mummy there’s a big lump of poo in our fishpond.

  85. 85
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Its a tape, on a loop and fitted internally.
    Join the Labour Party and get yours fitted now.

  86. 86
    Gooey Blob says:

    If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  87. 87
    Labour voting thicko says:

    Ha ha!

  88. 88

    My bookshelves presently extend to some 750 feet (re-expressed in single shelf terms) of which the OED takes up a relatively modest proportion.

    Every inch if it has been paid for by my funds, as have the books thereon, as has the house in which it is all placed, as has the land thereon. Without encumbrance.

  89. 89
    V appropriate says:

    Mr Steel!

  90. 90
    Morgan's Organ says:

    DELETE UNLESS THERE IS SOMETHING MORE CONCRETE THAT WE CAN SAY

    That is the complete Labour Party Manifesto & election slogan for 2015

  91. 91
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Stripped the great barrier reef.

  92. 92
    Jack I-like-em-black Dromey says:

    If I tweet Santiago in the sanctity of the smallest room, does Harriet know?

  93. 93
    T'u'rd is banned? says:

    Borrow & spend.

  94. 94
    Ed Bollux says:

    All the money for everything will come from taxing bankers’ bonuses or, failing that, the magic money tree.

  95. 95
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    Spot on. This is why socialism doesn’t work – the humans fuck it up.

  96. 96
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    I know! Nine…four…eleventy…fifteen…seven…eleventy again…six! Got it, you need enough room for six letters!

  97. 97
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    Golden Dawn are the best hope the Greeks have of kicking the EU out of the country the lefty groups will in the end support the EUSSR .

  98. 98
    Bin There Dun That says:

    “A compulsary jobs guarantee for….”
    Is Red Ed Milibandwaggon bringing back the Workhouse then?
    HE should be arseked (sic).

  99. 99
    Nemesis says:

    Just a lot of nebulous nonsense. What child has written that drivel? Might as well delete the whole lot because most of it delivers nothing concrete except for it being dense and aesthetically bland.

  100. 100
    The Crystal Methodist says:

    *interested face – who’s tooting?

  101. 101
    Phwoarrrr says:

    Another sexy Scottish woman … There’s a never ending supply of these hotties.
    Fatty there, Susan Boyle, Nicola Sturgeon, jimmy krankie …..

  102. 102
    Marathon Man says:

    Snickers!

  103. 103
    Bin There Dun That says:

    Absolutely speechless at this idiocy.
    Perhaps they are trying for a Turner prize?

  104. 104
    Did NO ONE at the Council say this is Fucking Stupid? says:

  105. 105
    the shoveler says:

    It’s well known that the heart shape refers to the shape of the female buttocks.

    Ed is making the international sign for ass (hole).

  106. 106
    Gooey Blob says:

    Labour have learned one single lesson from the 1983 election: if your policies are likely to prove unpopular, don’t tell people what those policies are.

  107. 107

    … and he drove it straight over Beachy Head – at full speed – did not fucking blink.

    Death arrives in less than five seconds, which is roughly the time it takes to plummet from the top to the bottom. Allegedly, some people literally do die of fright, after the initial rush of air, before they hit the ground. – eastbourneguide

    The fucking Scotch spastic.

  108. 108
    Ctesibius says:

    The mother of a disabled girl HAS criticised housing officials…. Was this journalist educated by Labour?

  109. 109
    Hargaret Modge, Labour MP and Hypocritical serial long term aggressive Tax Avoider + expenses thief says:

    Nice juxtaposition on the adds GF. An article about the Liebour party next to an advert about slimming your wallet. Labour never have any problems slinmming a chaps wallet. The pink conservatives are pretty good at this too. Though they tend to go both ways…..fnarrr fnarr!

  110. 110
    Fishy says:

    He’ll never make a Prime Minister. He can’t walk in water and point at the same time

  111. 111
    JH23945802439823-04 says:

    Sloppy this.

    Maybe if Jimmy spent more time proof-reading and less time posting on here little embarrassments like this would not occur.

  112. 112
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    “More money is needed for flood defences”……The sky is blue……….Water is wet……You can breathe air………it is dark at night………… Thank you Mr. Miliband for stating the bleeding obvious, and now back to the studio.

  113. 113
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    Try ‘arse’, shoveler. Ass is either an Americanism or a beast of burden similar to a donkey.

  114. 114
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    Another Milimong photograph ,keep ‘em coming

  115. 115
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    It’s not the fall that kills, but the sudden stop.

  116. 116
    Lord and Lady Establishment-Stooge of Brussels says:

    Sadly, their One Nation’s capital city is Brussels.

  117. 117
    Lord and Lady Establishment-Stooge of Brussels says:

    She’s the token pragmatist.

  118. 118
    Graham says:

    Exactly where are all the compulsory jobs coming from ? Presumably non-jobs created in the public sector , just the same as the one-eyed cretin did the last time. God help the country if those fucking morons get in power in 2015.

  119. 119
    Bluto says:

    Right on Marxist “decision makers” in the system. The ones who currently allocate social housing to foreign terrorists, war criminals, mass murderers and torturers.

  120. 120
    Displaced Brummie says:

    So, Ed is going to poke his nose into home schooling, is he? Oh, that’s buggered that, then.

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Labour attacking and stealing from private pensions AGAIN! Hands off.

  122. 122
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Blimey! She’s a big girl, isn’t she?

  123. 123
    The Critic says:

    You know the one where he wanted to kick the private sector out of public services(and presumably replace them with Unite stuffed publically funded services) The nex day he said that we had to reduce the deficit and cuts were required….

    One Nation Statecraft = utter shite

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    compuslory jobs guarantee for under for young people??what like a YTS SCHEME then??

  125. 125
    Anon says:

    Not letting the greedy private sector get their dirty hands on public services or the NHS – what’s wrong with that?

  126. 126
    Anon says:

    Well just try spelling the word labour on this site.

  127. 127
    Piggy Banks says:

    Since they have been handed £80 Billion since the start of financial crisis, taxing bankers’ bonuses seems more than reasonable.

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    Well it certainly helped the ‘Hug-a-Hoodie, NHS: Save-in-Our-Hands, Caring, Conservatives’ get into power.


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