February 12th, 2014

Gordon in Commons, But Not for Constituents

The last piece of business in the House before half term tomorrow will be an Adjournment Debate by the member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath. Dropping in for a rare ten minute speech, you might have thought the former Prime Mentalist would be standing up for his oft abandoned constituents, who don’t see very much of their wayward MP. Nope.

Gordon will be speaking in the Commons about educating Syrian refugees which, while a noble cause, is a little convenient given that he is currently fundraising under that banner. When he’s not globe-trotting as UN Envoy for Education (which essentially consists of having his photo taken with Malala a lot) Gordon is coining it on the speech circuit. His rare appearances in Parliament should be to represent the interests of his constituents rather than to wangle money out of the British government for his latest pet project. Using Parliament as a begging bowl is beneath even him.


135 Comments

  1. 1
    Excalibur says:

    1st

  2. 2
  3. 3
    Centre Parting says:

    What does she wash and which bits does she have to iron?

  4. 4
    Fatboy295 says:

    Why do you think this man wouldn’t sink to anything to fortify his narcissistic delusions?

  5. 5

    Yeah! He’s the one! He ran off with all our dosh!

    Get him!

  6. 6
    Excalibur says:

    So C@rney looking corny after having to change his incredibly useful forward guidance. Now has no clothes to hide in and almost just admitting that low interest rate subsidy by savers is needed to make up the figures.

    Beware USA interest rates then because you are about to look foolish again our mounted friend.

  7. 7
  8. 8
    Excalibur says:

    Does the butler button result in Sal’s button being caressed, we need to know?

  9. 9
    Oh says:

    Did Betty Boothroyd have a wife?

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Which button does Sally press for service off a well hung black man then

  11. 11
    All socialists are scum says:

    Why is this filthy piece of socialist shit still breathing. Stick a meat hook though his jaw and drag him off to the nearest furnace.

  12. 12

    Carney, of course, is to carnival as All Fucked Up is to Carnal.

  13. 13
    Round the Bend says:

    NOTHING is beneath the prime mentalist, not even the microbes at the bottom of a stagnant cess pit.

  14. 14
    Fraudulent Schemes R Us says:

    Can you supply me with contact details of some of the idiots who actually pay to hear this clown speak. I have a little scam in mind and Im looking for some gullible twats.

  15. 15
    Jimmy says:

    What on earth is he doing banging on about some foreigners when he could be out getting his photo taken in some water somewhere. It’s an outrage.

  16. 16
    Simple Test says:

    Labour pretend to be against scroungers.

    A simple test: will they remove the whip from Gordon Brown.

  17. 17
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Are the good people of Kirkcaldy, too, suffering under a hosepipe ban, dear?

  18. 18
  19. 19
    You Just Know The World In In A Mess says:

    Very worrying that a nutter ike this is:

    a. Returned to parliament

    b. Can find enough other nutters to pay money to listen to him

  20. 20
    Stop moaning and put on a jumper says:

    If the constituents of Kirkaldy and Cowdenbeath are either dis-interested or apathetic to have him removed as their MP and the local Labour Committee and members are not prepared to have him de-selected then there is nothing anyone else can do and he can continue to draw his MP’s salary and perks for as long as he likes. There is no requirment to actually turn up to Parliament and participate in debates once you have sworn the oath

  21. 21
    a microbes at the bottom of a stagnant cess pit. says:

    Oi, don’t you dare link us to that economy-wrecking failure. We’re busy digesting waste, not making it you know.

  22. 22
    Jonah Watch says:

    These floods are nothing compared to the disasters that Gordon Brown inflicted on the country.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    McDoom was the worst PM ever- and that takes some effort given the load of rotting shite we have had of late.

  24. 24
    Jimmy says:

    Start a blog and than persuade people to send you their email addresses.

  25. 25
    Caratacus says:

    A small note of surprise that you think that anything would be beneath this dreadful man.

    To paraphrase Sir Les, “he could parachute out of a snake’s arsehole … and still free-fall”.

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Stop giving this scrubber more publicity FFS

  27. 27

    Agree! Those people in Dalgety Bay suffer such cold onshore winds that they need something to make them glow.

  28. 28
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Nothing is beneath Gordon Brown.

  29. 29
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    The job of Middle East Envoy had already been taken although the role of President of Dalraida is shortly to become vacant

  30. 30
  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Was it his socialist tendencies that persuaded him to bailout the banks?

    “Money no object”

  32. 32
    Fish says:

    I saw that the Daily Brillo featured the ‘Brown Bounce,’ complete with an interview with the moron where he took the credit for staying up untill 10pm to save the world from the 2007 floods (Gloucester actually). As we know 10pm was long after his bedtime, according to his nurse.

    Do, all of you, try to catch it on the iplayer – it made me feel physically sick – I’m not sure why I should be the only one to suffer, strength in numbers and all that.

  33. 33

    No. It just got nicked.

  34. 34
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    a) They weigh the Labour vote

    b) He saved the World and he’s cheaper than Tony

  35. 35
    Jack Dromey MP says:

    Ooh, Twitter’s good

  36. 36
    The profits were privatised and the losses were socialised says:

    I thought he gave it all to the banks.

  37. 37
    lojolondon says:

    No, that last sentence is incorrect – Nothing is beneath Crash Gordon, there is no level to which he will not stoop. Why should the British people pay for other children to be educated when our own education standards are so low? A noble cause, I am sure, but charity starts at home!

  38. 38
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Do you want to buy a bridge in Brooklyn :-)

  39. 39
    Excalibur says:

    Met Office reporting 105mph winds hitting Wales, Aberdaron wherever that is, so expect Wales bleating for special aid very soon, ie more bennies for the fat sluts of Cardiff and Swansea.

  40. 40
    SNAFU says:

    I do not think there are many Asian families affected by the floods. I have come to this conclusion by way of the simple fact the absence of Vaz. Otherwise he would be down there in his wellies and his Paddington Bear Sou’wester plus camera crew.

  41. 41

    The video rental shop at Dennistoun says you need to return this film. It is overdue by 11 years.

  42. 42
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Tomorrow’s cabinet meeting to be scrapped and replaced by first meeting of new “Floods Recovery Committee” chaired by the most useless PM in living memory.
    Dave”Money’s no object” Cameron

  43. 43
    Tony Blair says:

    That is an outright lie! You ask anyone who was the worst Prime Minister this country ever had! They sure as Hell won’t say it was Gordon Brown.

  44. 44
    mon says:

    Gordon Brown is the unacceptable face of capitalism

  45. 45
  46. 46
    Excalibur says:

    But plenty of effniks in the Berkshire council houses it seems peeping around the door while the whiteys clean their gardens.

  47. 47
    The man that destroyed Britain says:

  48. 48
    Jimmy says:

    They certainly won’t.

  49. 49
    Bennies R Us says:

    We completed our city takeover with dear friend Gordon and Tony too. We now have to ensure our enrichment in the shires takes place, they should not lose out this way, it would not be fair and of course fairness and claiming are our watchwords.

  50. 50
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

  51. 51
    Gideon George Osborne says:

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND RATINGS MAY BE CUT, MOODY’S SAYS

    Vote Tory !

    Hear ! Hear !

  52. 52
    Shooty* says:

    How bloody DARE you?

    NOTHING is beneath Gordon!

  53. 53
    UKIP or bust says:

    He gave the gold away on the orders of the EUSSR.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    They were cheering the awarding of the medal not Gordon Brown you fuckwit.

  55. 55
    Von Rumpoy killed our giraffe. says:

    There must be 100, 000s of young innocent Britons that could do with extra help from a ex British Prime Minister.
    Labour still put foreigners first.

  56. 56
    Owen Jones says:

    I don’t mind telling you ,that gave me a boner !

  57. 57

    I thought that was a besuited Mr Brown ready to jump in the water but, alas, it did not happen.

    Did you read all the comments there, Jimmy? All greatly appreciative… :evil:

  58. 58
    Bald Rick says:

    Historians are split on who was the worst PM ever, there is some pretty stiff competition, but the most oft chosen is Lord North.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Nothing’s too low for that money grabbing bastard

  60. 60
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    You deserve an arrow up your anus.

  61. 61
    SNAFU says:

    Poor Rachel does not get alot right but a cracking pair of thighs.

  62. 62
    A Grateful Public says:

    Thanks Gordon for all you have done for wellington boot sales in this country.

  63. 63
    Jimmy says:

    Indeed. As with this place, there is a clear divergence between people on the internet and people who go outdoors.

  64. 64
    Ah! update says:

    What! A Vaz MP chatting up an Asian!!! Can’t be right surely.

  65. 65
    Gorbals Mick says:

    I’ve washed by bits in that old tub.

  66. 66
    Fraud Watch says:

    Everyone working for RBS’s GRG should be under arrest.

  67. 67
    Jimmy says:

    So presumably these medals were less popular?

  68. 68
    The Deep End says:

    Looks too deep for Little John. Perhaps it calls the lifeguard.

  69. 69
    Sall E B Acow says:

    Someone should start a petition to be read in the House, why GB can collect his pay without going to work. I’m sure it would reach the 100,000 needed to be discussed. Anybody in an ordinary job would be out on his ear for the same offence.

  70. 70
    seriously? says:

    No. He gave it to one million slack-jawed ‘graduates’ that were the first cohort to emerge from university in 2001/2 after 3 years of ‘education, education and education’.

    Then he built them shiny new offices and quangos to sit using borrowed money. Then he borrowed the money to pay them all for the next 10 years.

  71. 71
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    UNinterested

  72. 72
    The Gravedigger says:

    Sadly, there not much above him yet either

  73. 73
    seriously? says:

    No. He gave it away just because he could.

    Somebody drew his attention to all this gold just sitting around and, like any kid whose been told to leave something alone he couldn’t help but meddle. Try and think of something that needed doing just so he could be seen to be doing something.

    I shall sell all the gold. That’ll show everybody how important I am.

  74. 74
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    Hey, chaps. I’m hearting the blog and have a few minutes between puddles to bring you this important news:
    Noddy Holder turned down the job as front man of AC/DC after Bon Scott hit the big one. The rest, as they say, is history.
    Now, where did I leave my Hunters?

  75. 75
    Brazil nut says:

    Is that, cracking or fracking?

  76. 76
    seriously? says:

    No. It was fear of food riots, social breakdown, troops on the street and a bullet in the back of his weirdly-shaped skull.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

  78. 78
    Kim Jung-Un says:

    Is it still too soon to convey my sincerest condolences to the Benn dynasty?

  79. 79
    seriously? says:

    Do you remember when oil pr*ces shot up and he flew off to Saudi to have a go at the arabs?

    It was as funny as hell when the arabs told him to fuck off and that if he was worried about fuel pr*ices he might want to think about cutting the 300% tax on it?

    Do you remember?

    Funny as fuck it was.

  80. 80
    seriously? says:

    You don’t even have to swear an oath. Kneecaps McGu*inn*Ess never did. I don’t know if he got paid though.

  81. 81
    seriously? says:

    It’s a toss up between Blair and Brown. If Blair had simply fired the clearly insane Brown he could have saved us from the Imbecile’s damage.

    But then Blair was the architect of the Iraq war debacle.

    They’re equally culpable and equally shit.

  82. 82
  83. 83
    Sqeezing Pimples says:

    He is nothing more than a benefit scrounger worthy of a part on Benefit Street but of course his thousands of £ in salary and expenses will be fobbed off as being lawful yet the number of genuinely sick and disabled shafted by ATOS and DWP is awful and if some on JSA dare earns a penny without declaring it they will be in s##t street.

  84. 84

    You said it, my friend…

    There is nothing I can add to that. :-)

  85. 85
    Algernon Blackwood says:

    If they’re stupid enough to elect him then they deserve him.

  86. 86
    JH322049234-05324 says:

    Oh, let him have his fun.

    The orgasmic flush of moral superiority he gets out of posting it helps him feel well of himself, while he studiously avoids identifying the fact that there is no way his kids would ever have go to a school where English is a second language for most of the class.

  87. 87
    Algernon Blackwood says:

    And people voted for the shower of s*** three times. I do wonder about the intellect of the average voter.

  88. 88
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    once a clunt, always a clunt!!

  89. 89
    Jimmy says:

    Anyway, as I was saying you are all racist.

  90. 90
    seriously? says:

    The biggest benefit to Brown is the free c*r-p*ar*king at the airport for MPs.

  91. 91
    Welsh Dee says:

    Fuck off.

  92. 92
  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

  94. 94
    Algernon Blackwood says:

    six feet of Scottish soil would do. We don’t want him here.

  95. 95
    Sall E B Acow says:

    Ya-no-wat-a-mean

  96. 96
    Opportunist who gains from others suffering. says:

    What gets my goat is the fact that Labour have in fact abandoned the Syrians to decades of hell. Then they try and come across as caring & concerned. Another political opportunist using others suffering for his own gain.

  97. 97
    Labour are Boggin says:

    Another Labour leech!

  98. 98
    SNP says:

    Hoorah!

  99. 99
    Blowing Donkey Whistles says:

    Ha ha ha. Awesome comment Jimmy. You’re the bestest and most funniest person on here ever!

  100. 100

    Who on earth pays to listen to this man?

  101. 101
    fabians are EVIL says:

    Gordon bloody Brown is, was and always will be a CNUT

  102. 102
    Brown's Boggin magic show. says:

    Brown must go.

  103. 103
    Blowing Donkey Whistles says:

    Read Jimmy’s posts. They will tell you all you need to know about the intelligence of Labour voters.

  104. 104
    PK says:

    i struggle to think of something beneath GB… truly.

  105. 105
    Rufus Stone says:

    Mick – please don’t refer to the fragrant Sally as “…that old tub”.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah ?

  107. 107
    CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    He was NOT a failure , he went on a socialist wrecking operation and was 100% successful.

  108. 108
    Rightwinggit says:

    “Using Parliament as a begging bowl is beneath even him.”

    No it isn’t, he’s a total insane c­u­nt.

  109. 109
    Brown out & pay me damages. Then we can all fuck off & do one. says:

    Two Faced!

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    “Using Parliament as a begging bowl is beneath even him.”
    Nothing,but nothing,is too low for him to get below.

  111. 111
    sunderland is a labour ghetto thats why its shot says:

    Hopefully not!

  112. 112
    sunderland is a labour ghetto thats why its shot says:

    He could crawl under a snakes belly with a top hat on.

  113. 113
    Longshanks says:

    Roll on the GE in 2015. Maybe the scotch peeps will see sense and get rid of Jonah.

  114. 114
    Perv says:

    For help with wash and iron she would have a muff like a goats beard.

  115. 115
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    That equates on average to £5500 per person, raid on their private sector pension, yet the public pensions continue to climb!

  116. 116
    cornwall storms says:

    I don’t think so – he’ll be re-elected in 2015 and thereafter in perpetuity to keep drawing a salary for , what has to be, the greatest scam zero contract hours in UK history, and then piling on the expenses as well, Why would he give it up?

  117. 117
    Bloke says:

    Brown is a (fill in your own word here)

  118. 118
    Bloke says:

    Berk + Cow = Mr and Mrs Speaker

  119. 119
    Begging bowel says:

    A pilgrim MP.

  120. 120
    PK says:

    you think ?

  121. 121
    the shoveler says:

    Missionary PM is what he saw himself as, excepting he distributed billions to the foreign poor instead of bibles.

    Why do the media let Gordon Brooon get away with it?

  122. 122
    frank says:

    Are Labour voters thick, envious, economic illiterates or do they only exist on postal vote papers?

  123. 123
    Ted Bovis says:

    Maybe it’s a form of comedy? Good dinner, fine wines, then wheel old Gordo out to do his turn. They laugh at the sap who chunters drearily on unaware which adds to the comedy. Write his fee off against tax…

  124. 124
    J Dromey Esq says:

    If you find out – can you let me know?

  125. 125
    I feel fubarred, I feel fubarred etc says:

    Chilli con Carney – who is daily showing that he is completely out of his depth – should fuck off back to where he came from. And Gideon needs to come clean about just why this foreign goldybogsox stooge was installed as Governor instead of a perfectly competent then deputy governor at the BoE.

    As you say, Cat, the country really is all FUBARed but BW needs to reveal what exactly is the Damocles sword hanging over Gideon’s head which forced him to make this insane decision.

  126. 126
    I feel fubarred, I feel fubarred etc says:

    He was probably the only candidate. I mean who the hell would want to represent a town of fried Mars bars eating thickheads?

  127. 127
    I feel fubarred, I feel fubarred etc says:

    Come come – you don’t understand. He needs the cash to ensure that foreign kids are also tutored in the ways of the Scotch Labour Party in the early 1900s. How on earth can any civilised being go through life without knowing these facts?

  128. 128
    I feel fubarred, I feel fubarred etc says:

    Well their Mr Leader is one of those, so their position is perfectly understandable. Like the Libdems, whose leader person is also a bloody foreigner.

    HTF do these people rise to the top of our institutions? HTF do they ever get near them in the first place?

  129. 129
    I feel fubarred, I feel fubarred etc says:

    The Labour Party?

  130. 130
    I feel fubarred, I feel fubarred etc says:

    Just looking and listening to some of them on the telly tells you that they do exist and fit your description to a T – and in their thousands too. The postal voters merely represent the icing on the cake.

  131. 131
    Peeping Sam says:

    Lord North has gone south.

    
    

    Save the penguins !

  132. 132
    Stan Baldwin says:

    Brown and Blair, what a pair.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    “Gordon will be speaking in the Commons about educating Syrian refugees”
    not to ‘buy’ untested notional ideologies from strangers? But instead to all itemise in writing what each faction is actually fighting for, and publish that on-line. Rather than allow a myriad individuals to continue dying, for what they only believe they are seeking to create in terms of a Constitution.

  134. 134
    Rightwinggit says:

    What’s the grab handle for?

    Oh, never mind, I think I know…

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    The one eyed idiot who stole the money from peoples private pensions not once but twice and something Labour want to repeat again.


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