February 11th, 2014

238 Days Later

The PM must have heard it’s Guido’s birthday because he’s got him a gift – the first Downing Street press conference in 238 days – 16.45 at No. 10.

Along with the floods, this is the second sign of the apocalypse. Guido is expecting a downpour of frogs any second.


55 Comments

  1. 1
    Chris Smith says:

    Plague?

    I’ve got fucking Congo bum fever if you want it.

    Like

  2. 2
    Gilbert Fiddler says:

    Downpour of frogs?

    Can we keep the blasted EU out of this for a change please?

    Like

  3. 3
    A Shower of Shit says:

    I’m giving a press conference this afternoon at 16:45

    Like

    • 51
      are you fucking mad says:

      we, the nation, want to come , listen to the load of shite and then beat the fucking daylights out of him, the tory gobshite

      Like

  4. 4
    Ed call me Margaret Miliband says:

    Like

  5. 5
  6. 7
    FIGHT says:

    Like

    • 16
      Andrew Efiong says:

      Is it me or does Miliband turn around and say “shit” as he tries to do a runner from Alok Sharma’s questions?

      It’s almost a reply of Brown and Mrs Duffy.

      Like

  7. 10
  8. 11
    thostids says:

    What, exactly, is Cameron going to add to the celebrated statement made by Macmillan – “Events, dear boy, events”.
    He could say, in all honest expectation, that he and his shower of gob-shites are going to sit around the Cabinet Table, bend down and kiss their Cobras goodbye, or if Hughes is there, kiss his neighbour’s.
    Where’s Osborne hiding?

    Like

    • 14
      Osborne says:

      I’m not hiding, I’m folding towels.

      Like

    • 17
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      Osborne is readying his election winning budget for March 2015 in which he announces that man-made climate change is a massive tax fraud and abolishes all taxes on petrol,electricity/gas, thus sweeping the Tories to a record landslide victory on May 7th.

      Like

      • 28
        C.O.Jones says:

        That would be a vote winner for sure, to fill up your tank from empty would be £25 and not the £80 – £120 it costs now.

        Like

  9. 12
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Thanks to Mad Franky Hollande and his high taxes and nutty pro-unemployment policies we’ve already got a plague of frogs in London.

    Like

  10. 22
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

    Like

  11. 23
    Where is the Electoral Boundary Reform, Right of Recall, EU Referendum? says:

    Even if he were announcing his resignation, I wouldn’t believe him.

    Like

  12. 25
    The Public says:

    We are not happy

    Like

  13. 26
    EnviRON-mental says:

    Residents of Somerset, Stand By Your Tesalators !
    A message will shortly be transmitted by our fearless Arbiter.

    Like

  14. 29
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    A downpour of frogs ?

    Well perhaps you can find out exactly why the French taxpayer has paid the British Government 168 million euros for an aircraft carrier which has never and never will see the light of day.

    Like

  15. 33
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Barclays plans to cut between 10,000 and 12,000 jobs this year, including 7,000 in the UK.

    It’s the right thing to do.

    Like

  16. 34
    BBC Cyberman says:

    Worst weather for 250 years obviously down to climate change.

    Conform or you will be deleted.

    Like

  17. 35
    altruism in industry says:

    Cameron says it will take time to put things back as they were, no shit Sherlock.
    All these fuckers do is respond to events and spout bollocks. It would be nice to have leaders with a fucking plan who anticipate events and act decisively and efficiently.

    Like

  18. 49
    The Anglo Saxon says:

    HAPPY B/DAY GUIDO don’t drink too much red wine now will you :)

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Yes Scotland’s Geo-Targeting Advertising Fail | MessageSpace
#IndyRef Twitter Map | Trendsmap
Westminster Has Patronised Scots | Scottish Sun
What Happens in the Event of a Recount? | Breitbart
Yes Side Emphatically Won Campaign | Speccie
Joyce Thacker on Sick Leave | Doncaster Free Press
Claire Perry Slams ‘Goodies’ for Scots | Sun
Westminster Truce Shatters | Times
Boris: Prime Minister By Monday | James Ford
Tories Say Don’t Bribe the Scots | Times
Dave Can’t Stay if Scots Go | Laura Perrins


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The Prime Minister feels the pressure:

“I have to say that after the events I have been facing over the last few days, assassination would be a welcome release.”



It was only a tiny tiny collision.


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