February 11th, 2014

238 Days Later

The PM must have heard it’s Guido’s birthday because he’s got him a gift – the first Downing Street press conference in 238 days – 16.45 at No. 10.

Along with the floods, this is the second sign of the apocalypse. Guido is expecting a downpour of frogs any second.


  1. 1
    Chris Smith says:


    I’ve got fucking Congo bum fever if you want it.

    • 6
      Anonymous says:

      “Guido is expecting”. Guido is a fucking Hunt.

    • 8
      Ah! forecast says:

      ” Cloudy with a chance of meatballs “

      • 50
        broderick crawford says:



  2. 2
    Gilbert Fiddler says:

    Downpour of frogs?

    Can we keep the blasted EU out of this for a change please?

  3. 3
    A Shower of Shit says:

    I’m giving a press conference this afternoon at 16:45

    • 51
      are you fucking mad says:

      we, the nation, want to come , listen to the load of shite and then beat the fucking daylights out of him, the tory gobshite

  4. 4
    Ed call me Margaret Miliband says:
  5. 5
  6. 7
    FIGHT says:
    • 16
      Andrew Efiong says:

      Is it me or does Miliband turn around and say “shit” as he tries to do a runner from Alok Sharma’s questions?

      It’s almost a reply of Brown and Mrs Duffy.

      • 18
        Andrew Efiong says:

        1m13 seconds: “shit” as he turns and heads for cover!

        • 43
          The bbc - aka Labour publicity dept. says:

          Any bbc employee who even dares to think of putting this clip of our great leader Ed being disrespected by the low underling MP of Reading on any of our news programmes will face instant dismissal.

          We will not allow the stupid public,those we milk for our funding. to see him in anything but our carefully crafted presentation…………….

      • 20
        Oh Dear says:

        Yes. “Shit”

      • 44
        The East is East says:

        “Alok Sharma”?

        Wouldn’t he be more at home on the banks of Ganges?

        • 55
          John Bellingham says:

          It is a rare breed on dog from the Right Bank of the Brahmaputra. A bit like a Shitsu or a Sharpie–sorry Shar Pei.

  7. 10
  8. 11
    thostids says:

    What, exactly, is Cameron going to add to the celebrated statement made by Macmillan – “Events, dear boy, events”.
    He could say, in all honest expectation, that he and his shower of gob-shites are going to sit around the Cabinet Table, bend down and kiss their Cobras goodbye, or if Hughes is there, kiss his neighbour’s.
    Where’s Osborne hiding?

    • 14
      Osborne says:

      I’m not hiding, I’m folding towels.

    • 17
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      Osborne is readying his election winning budget for March 2015 in which he announces that man-made climate change is a massive tax fraud and abolishes all taxes on petrol,electricity/gas, thus sweeping the Tories to a record landslide victory on May 7th.

      • 28
        C.O.Jones says:

        That would be a vote winner for sure, to fill up your tank from empty would be £25 and not the £80 – £120 it costs now.

  9. 12
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Thanks to Mad Franky Hollande and his high taxes and nutty pro-unemployment policies we’ve already got a plague of frogs in London.

  10. 22
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  11. 23
    Where is the Electoral Boundary Reform, Right of Recall, EU Referendum? says:

    Even if he were announcing his resignation, I wouldn’t believe him.

  12. 25
    The Public says:

    We are not happy

  13. 26
    EnviRON-mental says:

    Residents of Somerset, Stand By Your Tesalators !
    A message will shortly be transmitted by our fearless Arbiter.

  14. 29
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    A downpour of frogs ?

    Well perhaps you can find out exactly why the French taxpayer has paid the British Government 168 million euros for an aircraft carrier which has never and never will see the light of day.

  15. 33
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Barclays plans to cut between 10,000 and 12,000 jobs this year, including 7,000 in the UK.

    It’s the right thing to do.

  16. 34
    BBC Cyberman says:

    Worst weather for 250 years obviously down to climate change.

    Conform or you will be deleted.

  17. 35
    altruism in industry says:

    Cameron says it will take time to put things back as they were, no shit Sherlock.
    All these fuckers do is respond to events and spout bollocks. It would be nice to have leaders with a fucking plan who anticipate events and act decisively and efficiently.

  18. 49
    The Anglo Saxon says:

    HAPPY B/DAY GUIDO don’t drink too much red wine now will you :)

Seen Elsewhere

Cocaine Conservatives | Standard
Jezza Browne Responds to LibDem Haters | LibDem Voice
Why Britain Needs to Leave the EU | Douglas Carswell
Literally No One is Watching London Live | MediaGuido
Who Tells Ed When He’s Wrong? | Speccie
Hands Off Our Cojones, Mr Clegg | Laura Perrins
London Live Averaging Just 2,400 Viewers | Forbes
Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome
UKIP Poster Girl’s Naked Photos | Sun
Miliband’s Radical Old Labour Agenda | Fraser Nelson
Meet Team Miliband | Dan Hodges

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

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