February 10th, 2014

Whole House Implicated in Failure of the Environment Agency

That’s quite a parliamentary trick, to get it so that the Environment Agency’s workforce can’t be criticized.

To do so is to make “silly party political points”, to engage in “petty politics”, or “pointless procedural bickering”. It’s to play “the Blame Game”.

You’d think that would be quite a good game to play just now.

But I’m not sure we’d win.

The state agency responsible has flooding as its avowed policy. Many of its staff are incorrigible, clock-watching, arse-covering, time-thieving, tree-hugging, data-driven, screen-based, indolent, overpaid, unsupervised vole fanciers.

Or so a blogsite run by Agency workers maintains (insidetheenvironmentagency.co.uk).

Far from putting these arms-length public service defectives through the mill race of parliamentary opinion the Commons cosseted them as valiant servants of humanity. They were working “long hours” said John MacDonnell, “and I pay tribute to them.”

Yes, and something even more appreciated than “tribute” – overtime.

The whole House is implicated in the failure of the Environment Agency. The thing was created by politicians so politicians couldn’t be blamed. And now that the whole corporate disaster is starting to reveal itself, all we can expect is apologies.

“That’s why I apologized to the people of Somerset,” the big blubbery block of Keighley cheese kept saying, as he buttered up the Agency’s workers “risking their lives” (at Tesco’s buying up hoardable quantities of chocolate pots for their children in case of shortages owing to the floods).

No, Eric Pickles refused to criticise anyone except the Labour party, and denied ever having done so. Not the wretch Smith, nor the Environment Agency, certainly not the Secretary of State.

He and Owen Detached-Retina were as one, “two peas in a pod, two brothers from a different mother”. Yes, and a different father by the look of them. In fact, they aren’t brothers at all.

They are team players in the premier league of the Blame Game.

They were wrong, but it wasn’t their fault. They were right at the time. They will learn the lesson. And the lesson is – if you say you’re sorry you can’t be blamed.

So, for all the monitoring and minuting, all the strictures and structures, all the Flood Ambassadors and Local Resilience Councils – the whole damn shooting match is essentially out of democratic control.


  1. 1

    I am sure Lord Smith will remain his liquidity.

  2. 2
    AH! slow down says:

    WhaT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I haven’t finished with the last thread yet FFS

  3. 3
    Oleg and Roman says:

    Will Pickles float in his liquidity?

  4. 4
    Hugh Manatee says:

    As well as his positivity.

  5. 5
    Execute them all says:

    And every single scumbag politician who has handed over UK power to maintain its own rivers and borders to Brussels bureaucrats should face a fucking firing squad.

  6. 6
    lojolondon says:

    I think his face is liquid, innit?

  7. 7
    lojolondon says:

    Well – we don’t want to go easy on the bastards!

  8. 8
    pippakin says:

    Reblogged this on Political Pip Spit or Swallow its up to You and commented:
    No one is ever to blame are they…

  9. 9
    J'accuse says:

    Why has no one been sacked yet ?

    If you think you are going to be getting cheap home grown fruit and veggies to help you through the economic crisis this summer think again.

    Unless I am very much mistaken several hundred oh so innocent and hardworking civil servants will be enjoying their summer hols and working (if you can call it that) in the air conditioned state of the art offices they have billed you for in these oh so austere times.

    It is enough to make people angry take to the streets and riot. Of course if they do so they will soon be admonished as public enemies and traitors to the state.

    The real traitors ware to be found in and around Westminster.

  10. 10
    Hansard writer says:

    Your reference to article on Bercow

    WTF is Squeaker doing giving evidence against his Deputy?

    This is going to finally destroy the last shreds of Parliament’s reputation

  11. 11
    Emile Zola says:

    Get the bastards arrested and in the Police Station now.

    Innocent people are up to their thighs in water and raw sewage already and some of them are going to die/

  12. 12
    Simon Car says:

    I want my pay now.

  13. 13
    Hansard writer says:

    If no one is responsible

    By definition no one can sacked

    As Simon says, it was deliberately set up that way

    The Quango’s Quango

    Floating out of control in a sea of shyt

  14. 14
    Moley says:

    From a whistleblower, (follow the link in Guido’s post),

    In recent news stories, Lord Smith is accusing ministers of playing politics with the floods, but as I pointed out last year in one of my most earliest posts, politics has been a key game played by management at the Environment Agency. There have been numerous occasions where management have discussed strategic drawback from critical projects with the objective of appearing to need more funding and to cause upset among constituents of MPs they don’t like. Management have allowed personal feelings to influence how they handle incidents, and have favoured certain MPs and councillors over others. This is nothing new and is a regular part of doing business inside the Environment Agency.

    Basically, if the Environment Agency doesn’t like your MP, you can expect to be flooded out.

    So what is our wet Government going to do about it?

  15. 15
    Táxpáyér says:

    Pickles really does take the idiot prize for me when he claimed foreign aid would lessen floods caused by lack of dredging.

  16. 16
    A BBC Special Correspondent says:

    if anyone has evidence off younger men being buggered against their will by older men possibly in positions of authority and influence the only correct course is to notify the Police and speak up in Court.

  17. 17
    Táxpáyér says:

    Don’t pay their wages.

    Arrest any of them that claim their wages (as they’re accepting responsibility for the mess).

  18. 18
    Podiceps says:

    Perhaps the single thing that is most wrong with the political system is that those in power are largely shielded from punishment for their actions. On the contrary, assuming any kind of public office should expose people to far harsher penalties for corruption and malfeasance. I would like to see a system in which, for example, manipulating intelligence to start a war with hundreds of thousands of casualties would incur the death penalty (are you listening, Jimmy, with your naive adoration of Blair?).

  19. 19
    Lord Chris Slime-Sinecure says:

    My new BFF, Dave, has said I can stay, so there. Only four months till I collect my pay off, by then you lot will have a hosepipe ban and I will be in Fudgepacker Central. Twats.

  20. 20
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    I don’t care what you say, I still want my money back.

  21. 21
    The British media are cunts says:

    Lefty shirt lifter John Snow wanking on about climate change again. No you lefty mongs it’s your fault for pissing around for years wasting our taxes on shite.

    Ireland isn’t flooded nor is the rest of Europe.

  22. 22
    J'accuse says:

    Any chance of you providing a witness statement, comrade ?

  23. 23
    Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation says:

    That ‘Inside the Environment Agency’ whistleblower’s website sums up the public sector exactly – civil servants do exactly as they please all day because they are all in the union and know they can’t be sacked.

  24. 24
    Podiceps says:

    The government has stayed dry. It is the people in Somerset who are wet. There ought to be a better word for the limp and ineffective twerps who affect to govern us.

  25. 25
    Hack says:

    Power without responsibility is the prerogative of a whore

  26. 26
    Jimmy Hill says:

    Hollande and Ohmama are having a mutual masturbation session as we write.

  27. 27
    Lord Chris Slime-Sinecure and Pickles says:

    We both speak in measured quiet authoritative tones that Dave clearly likes. We are pretend posh but actually a couple of ugly bores. We are rather incompetent but not unpleasant and remain reserved and attentive at all times.

    Only Brillo could ruffle us.

  28. 28
    RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

    Vote ‘riging’ as the Mirror spokes person tweeted… WTF is ‘riging’ ?

  29. 29
    ! says:

    Cork was flooded

  30. 30
    Hack says:

    Have MPs gone collectively mad?

    Electing as Deputy Speaker someone like this

    Many must have known

    And shirtlifters are not a majority – yet

  31. 31
    ex Tory Voter says:

    Fire the whole EA. Use the money saved to fund locally-justified projects.

  32. 32

    Dr!ve a hard bargain and get a good pr!ce.

    Alc0h0l is expensive nowadays.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    It’s almost like no one really died isn’t? No one to blame,just one of those things.
    They know the truth and they want to hide it.

  34. 34
    Winston S. Churchill says:


    Close down the Environment Agency with immediate effect.

    Do not re-employ any of the staff in any other public sector jobs for the next 10 years.

  35. 35
    RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

    Use the £12bn foreign aid money to fix the decaying infrastructure… a real vote winner :)

  36. 36
    Galloway says:

    Close all public schools. They pay peanuts for speeches.

  37. 37
    Hack says:

    Many parts of the Repubkic flooded

  38. 38
    Worried says:

    So, with all these floods, does this mean the happiness index might fall a little this month?

  39. 39
    John Betjeman says:

    My upstairs neighbour has an enormous frig and it goes on all night.

  40. 40
    altruism in industry says:

    What sort of cork doesn’t float ?

  41. 41
    Madame le Rottweiler says:


  42. 42
    Jim says:

    It is when you see the cost of wages and expenses against the cost of the physical achievement that the Crime really hits home.
    Now you have to pay them overtime as well?

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Is Smith telling the truth about the EA £400,000 cap for dredging?
    If so, how long has this been in place,who made this policy and why?

  44. 44
    Jack says:

    Good post Moley

    I’m sure you are right….it rings true

    The only solution to reintroduce some accountability is for the EA to be reincorporated in the Ministry

    With parts spun off to local authorities

    Otherwise we will have the same fucking mess next year and forever

  45. 45
    Jack Ketch says:

    This lot is straight out of “Yes, Minister”, except the script would have been too far-fetched for television.

  46. 46
    Guido's shadow says:

    Only if my boozer is closed or flooded out

  47. 47
    Podiceps says:

    Why would ten years make them any more intelligent or efficient? Let them work as fruit pickers and shelf stackers, if they can, till they drop.

  48. 48

    I am sure Lord Smith will retain his liquidity.

  49. 49
    Deep Sea Diver says:

    When is that by-election again? Will be good to see the Tories get a bloody nose from UKIP and Labour

  50. 50
    Jim says:

    Pay them more money?

  51. 51
    Kelvin says:

    Whi is MP for the Levels?

    He must be a homophobe to get treated like this

    Or perhaps he buggered Smith’s boyfriend

    PS Guido good headline for th Sun

    I buggered Lord Smith’s toyboy…

  52. 52
    altruism in industry says:

    I don’t think we should worry about foreign aid anymore as half the fuckers are over here

  53. 53
    Lance Corporal Bill Bloggs (retired) says:

    There is no flooding in Wythenshawe more’s the pity.

  54. 54
    Lance Corporal Bill Bloggs (retired) says:

    We are the only daft fuckers on the planet who are trying to honor this Treaty pledge.

  55. 55
    Kelvin says:

    Humty Dumpty Pickles

    What a fuckihg joke

    The only member of the working class the Tories could find, I suppose

    Like Two Shags and Two Jags

    And why are they both pie eating buffoons?

  56. 56
    Little Ed says:

    I’m pwaying for lots more wain and dith-wupthion. With a bit of luck, the economic wecovery will be de-wailed, and now the Labour Party hath a thodding wet towel to th-lap Camer-won with, all the way to the elec-thion.

  57. 57
    Reggie Cray says:

    Don’t Kray Fish have the right to an unmolested habitat?

  58. 58
    Parliament says:

    We will not blame anyone, because we are all to blame. So rather than point the finger of blame at each other, we will exonerate all of us and act as if nothing has happened.

    We also point out that Cambridge has not flooded this year, so be grateful plebs.

  59. 59
    Jingle bells says:

    Watching the crap in the house of thieves congratulating themselves and their so called civil servants on a premature job not done, the explanation was it was the Treasury.

  60. 60
    Kelvin says:

    Smith is another perert poof

    You will never get on honest answer our of a shirtlifter

    Their modus operandi is deceit

    Just look at Mandelslime FFS

  61. 61
    Fudgepacker Arms Evans Bryant Prop. says:

    Leave Chris alone.

  62. 62
    Perfidious Albion says:

    if that lady with her home in 3 foot of water didnt get those eco lightbulbs then she only has herself to blame !
    the whole ch4 output is floods = climate change,floods = climate change,floods = climate change,

  63. 63
    The Usual.... says:

    What a completely shyte piece. I mean really. Really shyte. Admit it.

    I’m waiting for the private sector to step in now that the area of flood prevention has been ‘pruned back’ by Osborne and co.

    Might have a long wait…..

  64. 64

    Perhaps Lord Smith could advise us whether it is permissible for people to smoke in cars carrying children, when underwater?

    We need to be told.

  65. 65
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Isn’t ‘Lord’ Smith that man that used to be Mr. Smith (Labour), dear?

  66. 66
    A Prawn Sandwich says:

    I always thought the only people to blame were the Labour Party.

  67. 67

    Cannot see myself why the NWSC is at Holme Pierrepont. Much cheaper to move it south.

  68. 68
    remember to always say nice things about homosexuals if you want to get on says:

    Careful !

    If you rise a scintilla of criticism against anyone who swings slightly the other way, these days you risk the loss of your job and possible criminal proceedings.

  69. 69
    Not a fan of free-loading crustaceans says:

    They do if they clatter into The Sandbag and Digger and put money over the bar.

  70. 70
    Not an Everton supporter says:

    If their was flooding in Wythenshawe and Liebour got blamed for not helping and as they usually do sit on their ar%ses, sadly the braindead will still vote for them, the Wythenshawe braindead only need to see a red rosette even if it was stuck on a lamp post and they would vote for the lamp post.

  71. 71


  72. 72
    The Usual.... says:

    The Government are responsible!

    Just because that fat disaster area by the name of Pickles (no doubt with Cameron’s blessing and advised by Crosby Textor) tried to shirk responsibility yesterday morning doesn’t mean you have to take him at his word.

  73. 73
    Cornish pasty says:

    “London elite” Jon Snow and Krishnan Guru Murthy on C4 News
    discuss the impact caused by the London elite on flooded British families.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    The thing is, the environment agencies advice that dredging rivers is not a good idea, is entirely sound both in terms of scientific reasoning and common sense. All dredging does is allow flood plains to drain just fractionally faster at the cost of risking catastrophic flash floods elsewhere.

    No, the real cause of the floods is not that the environment agency failed to dredge, it is that they completely failed to do anything at all, not even to suggest a better alternative.
    All the millions that labour pumped into the agency was targeted at protecting specific locations which had suffered from flooding in the past, little to nothing has been spent on preventative measures.

  75. 75
    Worried says:

    Turned on there and the first thing out of guru mucky was ‘climate change’. Boring, turned the cùnt straight off…

  76. 76
    Nepal Times says:

    Mount Everest completely submerged. Chris Smith blames government cuts.

  77. 77
    Ed Miliband the student monitor says:

    Ok, ok, ok, I’m on my way to help sandbagging. I think I might be able t lift ne if I try my best

  78. 78
    The Usual.... says:

    If Mount Everest were to be completely submerged, that would suggest that the Environment Agency are entirely powerless to take effective preventative measures.

    Is that what you’re trying to say?

  79. 79
    Ah! only on the BBC says:

    Re Salford Dementia Club

    ” Oh, they love coming here, because they all know one another and know what’s going on.”

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    No Environment Agency bods out on the news – where are they all? They at their warm homes claiming overtime maybe?

  81. 81

    A Labour Lord with his arse on fire telling the truth? do me a favour!

  82. 82
    Chris Smith's butt plug says:

    I am feeling the squeeze.

  83. 83
    Dessert Rat says:

    Same as green taxes and green follies were not to blame for price rises, because all the bastards were culpable, so stick it to the energy companies.

    Now the climate change ideology in the EA, which encouraged them to sabotage the rivers and ditches, is also backed by libliecon, so can’t allow the truth to get out.

    The twats are all in this together!

  84. 84

    Dredging the rivers and channels has worked for over 250 years.

  85. 85
    Dessert Rat says:

    Dredging worked on the levels for centuries.

  86. 86

    I am sure Lord Smith will retain his equanimity.

  87. 87
    Ah! come on says:


  88. 88
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Yes, Elsie. As most of your, multitudinous, alts have been banned from my blog, you may feel free to take your idiotic, nay, poncy, comments elsewhere.

  89. 89
    Will the Tory Traitors please stop undermining Dave - the man's drownign FFS! says:

    Mr F used to argue that we didn’t need to worry about climate change.

    He seems to have completely ignored that major aspect of this story and has resorted to his default position of ranting on about inefficient public sector workers instead!

    Which is all very well but he never seems to mention inefficient capitalist subsidy junkies.

    Funny that.

  90. 90
    Boiler Inspector says:

    Don’t you get funny with me, lad.

    You need a new boiler. That’s a non-condensing model you’ve got there.

  91. 91
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    You’re all a bunch of useless bloody loonies!

    Time to get shot of all the eco-loons on the B ark :-)

  92. 92
    FFS says:

    It’s actually not so much “dredging” per se, it is the fact that the normal brooks, streams and ditches have been left untouched for over ten years. These ditches are lined with good quality soil, so shrubs and trees quickly grow in them, and reeds, and long grasses. Pretty soon the flow rate of the brooks and streams is reduced to a trickle even during heavy rain.

    We had this problem in Swindon a while back. It caused a lot of flooding in the Cheney Manor area of town. When the council swapped to Tory control they sent the JCBs in to clear out the ditches. It wasn’t dredging to remove silt as such, it was clearing all the vegetation away. It was really quite a mjor operation. Flooding problems were significantly reduced as a result and I don’t think I have seen any flooding here recently.

    When these scientists talk about “dredging to remove silt” not helping much, I don’t think they appreciate the state these drainage channels are in. Most of them don’t really exist as drainage channels at all, being as they are so choked with vegetation.

  93. 93
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Why was Smith thought suitable for this sort of job anyway? The judgement of a man who engages in unprotected gay sex in full knowledge of the risks has t be called into question.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Dredging worked for hundreds of years until modern farming practices completely and utterly changed how the land responds to rain.

  95. 95
    Moley says:

    These cuts were negative.

    UPDATED: Environment Agency boosted spending by £41m last year – so, EA spending actually went UP in 2012/13:

    “In 2012-13 the EA spent £1207.4m compared to £1166.6m the year before. It ended the year with £95.8m cash in the bank. We are told the “cuts” stopped it doing a good job on flooding. How big an increase in spending would it take to qualify as no cut?”

    The “Blaming Osborne’s cuts” narrative won’t work.

  96. 96
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    Does Tatchel hail you and know what you were seriously up to in your days of entrapment and blackmail for criminal purposes / political persuasion Re all matters gay / homo?

  97. 97
    i don't need no doctor says:

    C4 News are c unts.

  98. 98
    Al Zhiemers says:

    How do they remember to come to the same place?

  99. 99
    Lord Smith says:

    Yes it’s perfectly acceptable.

  100. 100
    Funny that says:

    This has nothing to do with climate change or do you have evidence that proves otherwise? If so please share.

  101. 101
    Blocked Passage says:

    It is just the same as letting moss and weeds grow in your gutters. Every two or three years you have to get those ladders out.

  102. 102
    Who am I says:

    What place?

  103. 103
    Blair spoke the words but Campbell wrote them says:

    Where is the chilcot report ?

  104. 104
    Tiresome says:

    I’m utterly sick of hearing platitudes and praise for public service workers.
    They are doing a fucking job. Get. With it.

  105. 105
    altruism in industry says:

    I don’t think farming on the Levels has changed much since many hundreds of years. Cows eat grass and have babies, we eat the babies and take it’s mother’s milk.

  106. 106
    i don't need no doctor says:

    Some twat of a women on C4 News said Baby Boomers had everything given to them on a platter. The stupid cow is an arsewipe.

  107. 107
    A Vole says:

    I don’t like the way they look at me…

  108. 108
    i don't need no doctor says:

    A safe job, excellent pay and pension can’t be enough.

  109. 109
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    I remembered to go to the right place.

    They immediately withdrew my membership and threw me out.

  110. 110
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    So the dirty brigade within the police – obtain real info against people in authority and what do the dirty brigade of pigs do – they expose it … ughh no. They use it for their own fucking dirty financial ends. The Police Federation have plenty of form – which has come into the public domain.

    Oh and if you are of one particular religious group [programme aired last year] well you’ll be directed to not go to the pigs because the groups rabbit section daren’t face up to that they’ve been getting up to it themselves for decades.

  111. 111
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Natalie Wood?

  112. 112
    altruism in industry says:

    their mothers’

  113. 113
  114. 114
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    Too many bumbandits promoted far far beyond their culpabilities because they really only have one agenda – can you guess what it is – Children?

  115. 115
    A LibDem never changes its spots says:

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    I appreciate that the smaller ditches and brooks can cause a great deal of damage when they do become blocked and flood. But they are a completely different issue to major rivers flooding.

    When you do that type of work and improve the drainage, then where does all that water go next? Directly into the main rivers where it contributes to the sort of floods we’re seeing now.

    Getting water to drain faster from lowland areas is only a small part of the problem, by the time that the sort of quantities of water we’re seeing now have reached the floodplain areas, it’s already too late.
    The water should never be draining into the rivers quickly enough to cause these problems. The way farmland has changed since industrial times is a large part of that, and the EU farming subsidies have caused a great deal more damage on top of that. The flooding today can be very directly attributed to farming practices that strip organic matter from soil reducing it’s capacity to store water, drainage channels to quickly drain water from fields into rivers, felling trees to maximise space. All this means that rain falling on hills and inland areas reaches places like somerset or the Thames in a matter of hours, rather than draining slowly over the course of weeks.

  117. 117
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The population of Britain was a lot smaller back then and they weren’t stupid enough to build on flood-plains.

  118. 118
    Kelvin says:


  119. 119
    Nick Clegg says:

    Hancock deserves another chance.

  120. 120
    Bercow says:

    That freeloading slag never bothered with one of these

  121. 121
    altruism in industry says:

    I think that a method of dredging that might satisfy everybody would be to only dredge the channel and dump the silt on the bank every 200 feet for 100 feet and then in 2 years say come back and do the same to the other 100 feet. That way the creepy crawlies and weeds would not be 2 badly knocked about

  122. 122
    Benefits Street on in 30 mins says:
  123. 123
    Angela Eagle says:

    I’ve cleared a few dykes out in my time.

  124. 124

    In this article from the Graun, the picture of the flooded area resembles a hockey stick…

  125. 125
    Ah! come on says:

    Oh ho, I remember you hoo!

  126. 126
    Young Mr Grace says:

    You’re all doing very well…

  127. 127
    JadedJean2 says:

    Hansard writer

    “This is going to finally destroy the last shreds of Parliament’s reputation”

    That’s the whole objective, so that you will welcome EU governance with open arms. In fact you will be begging for it.

    Farage had better get his skates on, before he becomes irrelevant.

  128. 128

    I am sure Lord Smith will retain his pension.

  129. 129
    Blowing Fairytales Away ... says:

    here’s summit you won’t see on’t telly or in the msm …

    The Pharoah’s of 2000 odd years ago and their closest knit-wits of the intelligentsia of their day were caught out fairy and squarely with their trousers down for having lied to the peasents for seven years.

    The Phaking was claimed by his nearest intelligentsia to be the one who brought the rains … but after a seven year drought [years of B/S] the little people twigged what was going on.

    Any analogy drawn from the above to the modern days of the intelligentsia and the loudest mouths proclaiming summit; is purely for the reader to determine isn’t it?

  130. 130
    Ah! are we stuck with this html for links now? says:

    Do you really expect / want the intelligentsia on here to read the G.

  131. 131
  132. 132
    Paul Flowers says:

    You are only allowed to smoke the right mix in yiur car

    Methyl ketamine if remember correctly

  133. 133
    Village Idiot says:

    ….If that is correct,and if it could be proved,….wow…that would be pretty impressive!
    …..What a callous thing to do!….However,if the plebgate is anything to go by?

  134. 134
    A Wounded Badger says:

    Cameron is finished because of not chopping off heads, he will be seen as a ditherer, at a time where decisive action is required, 6 weeks and only now, because Conservative areas are being affected, …..

  135. 135
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Tony Abbott 1 Eco-loony Labour Party 0

    I hope Lynton Crosby is reminding Dave of this result :-)

  136. 136
    Expect another whitewash says:

    Blair must have had an ace up his sleeve re Chilcot i.e dirt on him. I’ll leave it to you to guess the dirt, but it’s usually considered the most heinous crime in society.

  137. 137
    Fed up with civil servants says:

    You describe every public sector bureaucratic organisation. Guidos has given a very accurate decription of these jobsworths. And sadly the reason is exectly as he says..its a ploy by politicians to avoid the blame..but the reason the politicians need this avoidance mechanism is becuase the civil servants that advise them are immune from taking the blame..its always the minsterial responsibility and the cs jobsworths just get moved between jobs, or promoted.
    Until each government has the power to employ staff who will support them and who will be replaced as required by new governments / in the event of failure we will continue to have every one pointing their fingers at each other.

  138. 138
    Ah! Guess you wern't a sportsman says:

    More like the rings of Saturn to me.

  139. 139
    Ah! Guess you wern't a sportsman says:


  140. 140
    Dodgy Geezer says:

    Shifted to a better thread – see Shaggy Rap


    Dave, Open up, man!
    What do you want, Smithy?
    The press just caught me!
    You let them catch you? How?
    I don’t know what to do…
    Say it wasn’t you

    RAP Starts…

    “I was on Today and they caught me red-handed
    supporting a ‘Flood Somerset’ policy.
    Evan Davies had a full set of details,
    I think it’s looking bad for me.

    How could I forget that I had
    followed all the EU rules
    Now there’s flood water all over Somerset
    And I look a perfect fool…”

    Why your civil servants leave you unprotected?
    All their duties be sadly neglected
    They meant to hide this disaster from the papers
    I do’n know what they think their game is…
    Where your friendly environmental activist?
    He better say you no blame for this mess.
    Harrabin he got all the answers
    the protesters just a load of stupid farmers…

    But he asked me on the radio (It wasn’t me)
    Showed the latest policy (It wasn’t me)
    Had the Flood Management Plan (It wasn’t me)]
    Even put it on the telly (It wasn’t me)


  141. 141
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    It’s almost as if CH$ and the rest of the media and msm are actually acting out the film ‘Wag the Dog’ … any guesses as to why …

    Well it could be that they have all been thoroughly found out themselves for selling b/s to the public for far too long. i mean it’s not as if the msm giants are going to actually ‘put their hands up’ and admit to the public; that they have become part of the problem.

    The Dead Tree Press mongrels and Subspinners are the living zombies of the dead line of b/s and spin that has been fed to the public for far too long.

    As Abraham Lincoln somewhat said of

    “… fooling … of the people … for all of the time.” NOT.

  142. 142
    Sun-tzu says:

    Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.

  143. 143
    +++++Breaking News++++++ says:

    The Environment Agency has now declared Chris Smith a disaster area.

  144. 144

    I should like any reasonable person to look at the photo towards the top of that article and ask themselves whether the shape of that submerged road was a contributing factor to global warming. :-)

  145. 145
    Sue Denim says:

    Useless when the condensation outlet pipe freezes up when it gets a bit cold.

  146. 146
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    You’re talking crepe :-)

  147. 147
    Rude people says:

    …I changed my tolerant stance after the B&B scam the woofters pulled!
    Tolerance works both ways,and a little respect doesn’t hurt,but there was precious little shown to the Christian couple!

  148. 148
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Mr. Smith speaks to no one :-)

  149. 149
    Jethro says:

    98 While we’re grateful to Your Lordship (Your Grace? check.), we have just one or two anxieties… S.C. asked whether it is permissible for people… &c., &c.; Your Lordship’s (‘Graceship’ sounds funny: check) response was ‘it’s perfectly acceptable’. Yet there are some things that are permissible (‘… no law against it’/’they can’t touch you for it’…) but which are not acceptable (making your fellow-occupants wonder if you had the Vindaloo last night, when in a Lift); there are also things that are impermissible (having carnal knowledge of a Minor) that are, apparently, now ‘perfectly acceptable’. We await Your Lordship’s (can’t possibly be ‘Dukedom’s’!) reply, with all due deference.

  150. 150

    Bollocks , dig the fucking lot out, stuff the ecolunatics!!

  151. 151
    Somebody throw Dave a life jacket FFS he's not waving, he's drowning says:

    I would imagine that the poor residents suffering the floods in Somerset would consider the climate around them to have changed, in a life changing way.

    Your comment is a classic example of laissez-faire Toryism.

  152. 152
    Anonymous says:

  153. 153
    Anonymous says:

    Sadly this is something you won’t see on the BBC so the cuts narrative will work because Labour say so.

  154. 154
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    KSSS-KWEEEEE–EEK!!! (ruffle) (drip) (flutter) ALFTHESACREDRIVERRAN!! (ting) PORLOCK!

  155. 155
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Eco-loon ALERT!

  156. 156
    altruism in industry says:

    There are bio luminescent bugs on the banks of some of the waterways. Who knows that somebody might discover some useful thing from them ? Best not to wipe them out if we can help it.

  157. 157
    Boiler Inspector says:

    That would be because of global warming, madam.

  158. 158
    Captn P says:

    “The state agency responsible has flooding as its avowed policy. Many of its staff are incorrigible, clock-watching, arse-covering, time-thieving, tree-hugging, data-driven, screen-based, indolent, overpaid, unsupervised vole fanciers.”

    You are describing all Civil Servants.

    Sack 20% now.

  159. 159
    Isabel Hardman says:

  160. 160
    A Fine Pair of Lungs. says:

    Your forgot to mention the level of immature Misdirection that the Tories have been participating in, as we drown in our tears. Absolutely Disgraceful!

    Still, excellent points made in this sketch. Well down.

  161. 161
    Captn P says:

    And I look a perfect fool ..

    change to

    And I look a perfect tool

  162. 162
    Truthteller says:

    Who can you blame in a blameless society?

  163. 163
    Stoical Chap says:

    Are they still serving?

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Benefits st and an x Zimbabwe resident now living here on benefits. Trouble is his visa just expired because he missed the deadline so he can’t get any more benefits or even work

    Why is he not sent back to Zimbabwe rather than being our problem

  165. 165
    Truthteller says:

    Police State, makes me f-ing sick.

  166. 166
    Oo err says:

    Don’t swans float?

  167. 167
    Fit bird calls it correct says:

  168. 168
    UKIP does what it says on the tin says:

    Its as plain on the fucking nose on your fucking face the EA is beyond democratic accountability Sherlock.

    That is how quango land works, they were designed to bypass democratic control, like the common purpose indoctrinated slugs that infest the sector. The EU rules through these quango empires, they are the perfect tools of assimilation and control.

    We are being assimilated by the EU cancer and quango land exists solely to make direct rule from Brussels a reality, democracy died and nobody noticed, our politicians are paper cut outs and we never knew until now just how useless they really are.

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    Well we would love to stop it raining and people building houses on flood plains and being responsible for Brown stopping money for flood protection.

    Is there anything ? Anything at all that the utter fuckwit Gordon Brown did not destroy or lay ruin to

    Anything? At all?

  170. 170
    The fucked up labour party says:

    No one can be a loser all must win

  171. 171
    Inconvenient leftie truth says:

    I wonder if they will notice a labour lord is in charge

  172. 172
    Inconvenient leftie truth says:

    The guy is announced as not being able to get job or benefits and money is extremely tight

    then the guy lights up a fag

    Benefits just release money that would have been used for food for ciggies and booze

  173. 173
    Gavin McLean says:

  174. 174
    Truthteller says:

    I second that.

  175. 175
    Gordon Micawber says:

    Income, 715 tons of potentially saleable gold at $1,275 an ounce, expenditure, 395 tons of gold sold at $256 an ounce, result misery.

    (For you).

  176. 176
    Ah! Yuk says:

    it’s not so much that…but to see it floating past three minutes later…

  177. 177
    Socialism= Starvation says:

    The flooding of Somerset, a traditional, ‘reactionary’ ‘community’ who were left to fate by what was literally a Labour wet dream.

  178. 178
    Fudgepacker Arms Evans Bryant Prop. says:

    BENEFITS STREET; To think I worked my balls off for 42 years to keep this c u n t Simba on benefits,send the c u n t back to Zimbabwe and let Mugabe sort him out,will we never learn ffs?

  179. 179
    Blind to others suffering says:


    Blind to others suffering! . Time for Tories to stop misdirecting from their appalling handling of this crisis. If they don’t grow up soon the electorate will give the boot up the arse that they so well deserve on this occassion. Amateurs.

  180. 180
    Táxpáyér says:

    The climate hasn’t changed.


    The competence of those running the nation’s waterways has double plus un-improved.

  181. 181
    Táxpáyér says:

    1 health State approved basket of food-pyramid foods.
    2 bus tickets
    3 fuck all else.
    to the shirking classes.

  182. 182
    Anonymous says:

    Money was tight apparently
    Then he got pissed and lit up a fag

    Not that tight then

  183. 183
    Deck chairs on the titanic says:

    Gosh just think they could vote labour

  184. 184
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Even worse as the price was $1800 an ounce about a year ago.

  185. 185
    Gordon McFuckwit Bust says:

    I saved the world you know. I did I saved the world. President Omaha told me in that Kitchen.

    Did I tell you I saved the world?

  186. 186
    Dodgy Geezer says:

    A reasonable amendment. Further verses gratefully received…

  187. 187
    Ms Beckett aged 17 3/4 says:

    When I read that I almost cried. I want all floaters dead.

  188. 188
    Connor says:

    You’ve forgotten to take inflation into account. It was a cut in real terms.

  189. 189
    Simballs says:

    Moaning he’s only got 19 pence to his name

    Put the fag out then Cnut.

  190. 190
    the Somerset Levels population says:

    That fat slimy fucker Smith, tries to muddy the water by defending environmental staff when no-one is blaming them. The buck stops at the top. If he will not resign, sack the bastard.

  191. 191
    Worker at the coalface, Immigration Department says:

    It’s not just water that’s flooded the country, millions of the same stamp as this Zimba (benefits st now) are swilling around here, the truth is the numbers of them have overwhelmed the Department, we aren’t even treading water trying to deal with them.

    The reality is that there is no will to deal with the situation and the staff know it.

  192. 192
    Connor says:

    Very true. Everyone is blaming the Environment Agency but they are only responsible for clearing and dredging the main waterways, not the ditches and drainage channels.

  193. 193
    Cameron says:

    Anybody analyzed the way Lord Smith divides his working time? Does he spend any time in the House of Lords? Someone please add up all the dots.

  194. 194
    cornish storms says:

    “Many of its staff are incorrigible, clock-watching, arse-covering, time-thieving, tree-hugging, data-driven, screen-based, indolent, overpaid, unsupervised vole fanciers”

    Oh ++++Laugh++++ Chris Smith to a T. !!!

  195. 195
    walking into darkness says:

    mmm, if only he could

  196. 196
    rover's returns says:

    has his lordship ever had a job?

  197. 197
    FFS says:

    I’m sorry but that isn’t true. A river when it is in full flood will remove water at a hell of a rate.

    If you take the River Parret, it is actually rightt at the bottom of its typical level right now:-


    But the fields around the Parrett are still underwater. The fact is that when the rain stops the river flows very quickly to the sea (the Levels are only ten miles across with one edge bordering the sea), but the water from the fields is draining only slowly towards the river.

    Now as far as the Thames Valley is concerned you do make a good point about the water not draining underground, but this has nothing to do with the hills. The underground aquifers are full, so the water is not able to drain underground. If, during drier weather, the water companies had pumped water into the rivers from the aquifers then the aquifers would have had some capacity to absorb the excess. Of course in those years when “global warming bollox” was causing droghts not rain (i.e. random weather events with no trend) we might find that pumping the aquifers slightly emptier during winter months was not a good idea, but I can’t say, not knowing just how much capacity we might need.

  198. 198
    Slimeball says:

    Seriously, all those floods in the surrounding areas, and that cùnt Crow is going ahead with his strikes this week?
    He needs put in the stocks.

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    and EA issued wellies, once used.

  200. 200
    Foxie says:

    My friend, Charles was sacked 9 years ago after 25 years working for the National Rivers Authority when the EA took over.

    He used to travel the length and breadth of the country inspecting rivers and watercourses and noting whether they needed attention and actioning maintenance work which was usually relatively minor such as a blocked drain, or culvert. About every 6 or 7 years if a river or watercourse needed dredging he’d sign the authorisation for it. He was qualified to do so, not only as a senior NRA manager, but also his degree from Cirencestor — an expert — whose practical experience was thrown on the scrap heap.

    No one’s been doing his job and this is the result.

  201. 201
    FFS says:

    There is anoher point I would make here too.

    When I was young the Somerset Levels were more or less just green fields. Not much in the way of hedgerows and you could see many of these smaller drainage channels. I’m guessing the farmers, being paid by the EU to create hedgerows for wildlife have effectively created obstructions around each field which also hampers the flow of water back towards the rivers.

  202. 202
    Ah! pray tell says:

    Another desktop expert. Simple question, a simple answer will do, what would you have done / do?

  203. 203
    lLuckyian Burger says:

    I intend to bring a Bill to the HOC to ban fartin in public places.

  204. 204
    as seen in Cardiff says:

    Six pints and any welsh are for any body.

  205. 205
    Ρaul Stαines says:

    Heeelp … [glug]

  206. 206
    non taxable pikey says:

    Is that Ronnie and Reggie Kray fish?

  207. 207
    Anonymous says:

  208. 208
    non taxable pikey says:

    Be even cheaper soon, getting so they could float the bu’gger down.

  209. 209
    Anonymous says:

    He’s got wellies? Hide the sheep.

  210. 210
    Foxie says:

    Yeah someone just gave me my degree certificate when I was 21 — we chose what sort of degree we wanted, I could have put consultant surgeon, but thought that might be hard work so plumped for Design and Animation.

    Didn’t attend a single lecture and didn’t have to pass a single O or A level to go to college, where I studied ‘remotely’ from my isolated bar in the Caribbean in-between sun bathing and water skiing sessions. Basically I took a 3-year Gap Year but it still counted as finals were ‘pre-examined’ and everyone passed. I never had to work at M&S every Saturday and during every holiday to supplement my £40k grant.

    Automatically got my first job with its telephone number salary, but didn’t have to commute 65 miles a day for it — despite having no computers or other technology available in 1972 either at home or at work. We just phone in once a week and told HR we were still alive and on the payroll so they could pay us.

    Shame about today’s students — no fun at all.

  211. 211
    Taxpayer says:

    A petition? How fay.

  212. 212
    Young Whitby says:

    Dredging is like trying to put a plaster on an amputated leg now.

    The horse has well and truly bolted from that stable, I suppose it may help in minor cases but with the way we’ve changed the landscape and farming practices and destroyed a whole load of our floodplains we may have fucked ourselves good and proper past the point of return this time.

  213. 213
    T May says:

    Yankee go home.

  214. 214
    Blowing Fairytales Away ... says:

    So the government and opposition and the EA couldn’t predict a flood, a few days in advance – hitting the Thames. ‘A few days in advance’

    Yet the whole lot of them are predicting doom via climate change ‘years into the future …’

    Is there any logic – among those who hold themselves out to be the intelligentsia or are they havin a fuckin larf at the peoples expense?

  215. 215
    tootling about in a boat with lights on says:

    A better petition is going to be the EU voting, just start shouting that to every crap MP who goes to these flooded areas for a photo opportunity and every lazy news reporter.

  216. 216
    albacore says:

    Shape up there, Dave – you’re left holding the nipper
    And ain’t it a real, sqealing little flipper
    Still, as ever, no doubt you’ll procrastinate
    And do nowt worth doing until it’s too late
    Just like your blather about immigration
    Not much cop even with wet inundation

  217. 217
    Bottled Blackerry says:

    He’s been dithering for three years. This will be evident when the gerrymandered and postal-vote corrupted electoral system delivers a deeply inept Labour Party into power with a large majority but barely a third of the populace supporting them.

  218. 218
    non taxable pikey says:


  219. 219
    Táxpáyér says:

    Shhh! AGW mod-dulls predicted floods yet the EA did nothing to mitigate them, in-fact it stopped.

  220. 220
    Táxpáyér says:

    Go back to spinning where the proles will believe your bullshit.

  221. 221
    seriously? says:

    No. It’s perfect for Dave. Crow will draw all the fire away from this shambolic flooding debacle.

  222. 222
    Táxpáyér says:

    Does look like the political classes are trying a scorched earth approach to this country.

  223. 223
    Young Whitby says:

    Actually they predicted the rivers would dry out.

  224. 224
    Whitehall says:

    He doesn’t like opera?

  225. 225
    Jim says:

    I had the misfortune of watching the flood coverage on C4, I nearly came thru the roof. The amount of times they said it was the result of climate change I nearly choked.
    It has always flooded there. And much worse in the past. Before ‘climate change’

    From wikikiki;

    The Levels are at risk from both tidal and land-based flood waters.[36]

    During the great storm of 1703, waves came four feet (1.2 m) over the sea walls. The sea wall was again breached in 1799, filling the Axe valley with sea water. In 1872, another flood covered 7,000 acres (28 km2) and in 1919, 70,000 acres (283 km2) were inundated with sea water, poisoning the land for up to 7 years.[62]

    Since 1990, the drainage board has been charged with looking at the rhynes, cleaning them out and keeping them clear, under the overall responsibility of the Environment Agency. With rising sea levels, the work required to maintain the sea defences is likely to become more expensive, and it has been proposed that two inland seas be created.[63] Other studies have recommended maintaining the current defences for five years while undertaking further studies of available options.[64]

    Although the Environment Agency have made plans for the regular winter flooding, still in recent years this has resulted in a number of villages — including Langport, Muchelney and Westonzoyland – regularly being cut-off. In November 2012, during the 2012 Great Britain and Ireland floods, after six days Somerset County Council-funded BARB rescue boats reached the village on 29 November, rescuing nearly 100 people.[65]

    Rescue boats were again required during the rain and storms from Cyclone Dirk during Christmas 2013/New Year 2014.[66] On 24 January 2014, in light of the continued flooded extent of the Somerset Moors and forecast new rainfall, both Somerset County Council and Sedgemoor District Council declared a major incident.[67][68] At this time, with 17,000 acres (6,900 ha) of agricultural land having been under water for over a month

  226. 226
    EU Greening Bristol while its nearby levels are under water. says:

  227. 227
    Scallywag says:


  228. 228
    Kirk says:

    Lying toad Lord Smith on Newsnight claiming he has always said dredging would work – sorry, but you said it wouldn’t work two weeks ago. The EA is similar to the other EA’s in the EU, they do waste, water, industry, air, etc etc. Tougher questions were warrant IMO.

  229. 229
    UK Kleptocracy says:

    Spineless Cameron is as bad as socialist Ed.

    Absolutely sick of this – they were elected to take care of this shit – not pass the mantle to the EU via Quangoland.

    They are all in it together.

    Bastards one & all.

    Close DFID – re-route OUR money to OUR people NOW.

  230. 230
    Sickening. Totally Sickening says:

    The Elite Chattering Classes Do Not Give a SHIT do they.

    This poster should be pinned up all over the Somerset Levels, to show the flood victims what really matters to the EU and the Bristol Elite.

  231. 231
    Blowing Fairytales Away ... says:

    Mother Nature suggests that she will be really taking the pee out of the Climate Change bretheren / fools / idiots in a week or two when she tires of her latest little bit of wind.

    All them water tables will of course be full, full, full – and i wonder if the drought doommongers will tell us how full up the water tables are …

    if anyone out there seriously read any of the met predictions / msm drivel – they just might notice the consistent use of some little words – may, might, could, likely, possible etc … al of which are ambiguous.

    The legal world of shysters and all its fork-tongued preachers are to blame for global worming – ‘cos it is all based upon unsubstantiated bleedin waffle, jargon and rhetoric. As for the fees they get in the background … well …

  232. 232
    Liar Liar yellow crusty pants on fire says:

    He Did. I heard him say that. It was on the Telly. Did Newsnight correct him?

  233. 233
  234. 234
    Blowing Fairytales Away ... says:

    Irony – for the drought mongers – how full are all the water tables now – no hosepipe bans this year then eh?

  235. 235
    Janner says:

    Why is Dave in Newquay? There aren’t any floods down here, they are all up country.

  236. 236
    FFS says:

    Ah yes. How many of us in the private sector got a pay rise of 3.5% last year?

    A cut in real terms was it Connor?

    Care to tell us what the real inflation rate is then because obviously you are working for part of the government that knows what the real inflation rate is.

  237. 237
    The Public says:

    What a bunch of useless tossers.

  238. 238
    altruism in industry says:

    In spring/summer the banks of the ditches are lush/thick with a wide variety of weeds. I guess all that stuff falls into the water come winter.

  239. 239
    Blowing Fairytales Away ... says:

    When is Climate Change going to be declared as a religion?

  240. 240
    FFS says:

    Given that Labour pissed all kinds of money up the wall during the reign of terror, how is it they couldn’t find a few bob to dredge the rivers?

    Could it be it was all part of some cunning plan I wonder?

  241. 241
    They Are the Inequalities says:

    discussing inequalities?

    FFS the Inequality is this thieving lot wining and dining on the backs of the taxpayer discussing inequalities.

  242. 242
    Lampshade says:

    People still watch Newsnight! Who knew?

  243. 243
  244. 244
    The Green Lobby says:

    Religions are a rite of passage activity.

    We want to tax people every waking hour.

  245. 245
    Gok Wan says:

    Who is the dickhead in the red trousers?

  246. 246
    Two toads talking on newsnight says:

    What about the pumps? I assume they have existed since 1900.

    Toad Paxman should have changed the subject back “to water not being removed”. Smith did not smile. Smith talking about EA over activities, not relevant to the levels he smiled.

  247. 247
    FFS says:

    I have never heard so much bollox in just one sentence, and all without a word of explanation.

  248. 248
    This is Him says:

    The Mayor of Bristol

    George Ferguson @GeorgeFergusonx

    First elected Mayor of Bristol. Independent, Innovative & Inclusive. Architect, Urbanist, Social & Cultural Entrepreneur. Establishment rebel.


  249. 249
    Team AGW says:

    It is a well known fact that the gradual increase of the single parameter of CO2 in the atmosphere will cause winds/droughts/floods/extreme hot weather/extreme cold weather, regardless of the fact that neither the basic theory nor the models predict any such thing.

    We deny that the heavy rain in Northern Europe and heavy snow in North America has anything at all to do with the competing theory that it is caused by low solar activity no matter how much more plausible that may sound.

  250. 250
    Kirk says:

    Fucking waste of taxpayers money – wouldn’t piss on him or his subordinates if they were on fire. Really boils my blood to see what incompetent, inept, feable, unelected twats can get away with

  251. 251
    Team AGW says:

    Religions are for humans.

    Team AGW doesn’t believe in humans.

    Team AGW believes in a future free of humans.

    Team AGW hopes for a future where animals will alone will rule the Earth.

    Team AGW wants all humans dead.

  252. 252
    Come friendly bombs fall on Bristol now. says:

    Bristol has nearly the worst (in the country) Local Educational Authorities, Health Authorities, various sink estates, on going crap football teams…
    25 years a Light rapid Transport scheme was proposed, lacked funding, scuppered by Dawn Primarol. This is the sort of thing that would transform the city.

  253. 253
    Our Lord and Saviour says:

    Yes, my son?

  254. 254
    cheche says:

    Went down to the pub.The taproom is fuming about this – the politicos are so far from us

  255. 255
    Slough says:

    Thanks to the floods, Datchet is easy pickings for us looters!

  256. 256
    cheche says:

    Gawd News night Has Mandela died again

  257. 257
    Anyoldiron says:

    Dredging those waterways over the years was done for a purpose. All in that Houses of Parliament now know exactly why they were dredged regularly. We were told that it was a waste of money and there was no need for dredging, so that money for dredging went towards paying foreigners to Govern this Country even though some people bother to turn out on election day, to vote for OUR OWN. With the fiasco that is on going at present-was it worth turning out to vote for any one of them? Did they REALLY not dredge because of EU Legislation as reported in one Newspaper? Let us see Directive Directive 2000/60/EC of the European Parliament and of the Council of 23 October 2000 establishing a framework for Community action in the field of water policy”. Oh! and by the way, it is European Union wanter now and apparently has been for some time. http://eur-lex.europa.eu/LexUriServ/LexUriServ.do?uri=CELEX:32000L0060:EN:NOT WHICH ALSO READS “(10) The Council on 25 June 1996, the Committee of the Regions on 19 September 1996, the Economic and Social Committee on 26 September 1996, and the European Parliament on 23 October 1996 all requested the Commission to come forward with a proposal for a Council Directive establishing a framework for a European water policy.”

    HAVE ADOPTED THIS DIRECTIVE: Article 1 Purpose. “The purpose of this Directive is to establish a framework for the protection of inland surface waters, transitional waters, coastal waters and groundwater which:
    (a) prevents further deterioration and protects and enhances the status of aquatic ecosystems and, with regard to their water needs, terrestrial ecosystems and wetlands directly depending on the aquatic ecosystems.

    From Directive L. 288/27 6.11.2007, at point (5) reads. “The Commission Communication of 12 July 2004 to the European Parliament, the Council, the European Economic and Social Committee of the regions, ‘Flood Risk Managment … Flood prevention, protection and mitigation sets out its analysis and approach to managing flood risks at Community level, and states that concerted and coordinated action at Community level would bring considerable added value and improve the overall level of flood protection.”

  258. 258
    Fish says:

    Don’t be silly.

    Smith’s a Labour peer and it’s Labour’s Newsnight. Why would they confront him with is own incompetence and lies?

    I thought that Paxman might also have Paxo’d him on the EA’s strategy of ‘returning the Levels to nature’ and of ‘planting limpet mines on every pumping station’ But needless to say they didn’t so that either.

  259. 259
    Slimeball says:

    How did Clegg escape alive?

  260. 260
    How did it come to this? says:

    What the fook has flood protection got to do with a common free trade zone?

    Anyone would think they are writing articles for a United States of Europe.

  261. 261
    FFS says:

    Makes sense if you happen to have a huge Alpine river going through several countries, like the Danube for instance which impacts about 19 different countries.

    Makes fuck all sense in the UK.

  262. 262
    FFS says:

    Fuck all new houses built on the Somerset Levels. Something to do with it always flooding down there puts people off…..

    Look at the pictures of these flooded out houses – look like new properties to you? But still, people like you can be presented with no end of evidence and you will just keep on believing what you want to believe. Human nature is amazing. Sad, but amazing.

  263. 263
    Stop Crying woman says:

  264. 264
    We should not Chain ourselves to the European Continent says:

    Very little makes sense in Britain being part of the EU. Taking part in their fee trade market should be as far as it goes for an Archipelago of North Atlantic Islands and even that is looking increasingly dubious.

  265. 265
    The LibDem Wimin says:

    He shape shifted.

  266. 266
    Ah! I admit says:

    You don’t have to be thick to post on here, but it sure as hell helps. ( yes agreed, self included )

    They say that ” A little knowledge is a dangerous thing ”

    But a little bit more is disastrous.

  267. 267
    Ah! that name again says:


  268. 268
    Ah! wonder says:

    How did they get that water to flow in such straight lines?

  269. 269
    Ah! says:


    The boots as well.

  270. 270
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    It is about time that David Cameron was thrown out of office.

    The time for UKIP is about now.

  271. 271
    Ah! new Headline says:

    ” If only ‘THEY’ had dredged The Thames “

  272. 272
    With Swiss Precision says:

    The time for UKIP is well overdue.

  273. 273
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    The Thames East of Tilbury was heavily dredged for making the deep channels needed for the port which Dave loves to wank on about.

    Will be funny if they get a decent tidal surge up there whilst all that water is coming down the valley.

    It is meant to be Ok but similar dredging up towards Tower Bridge was a factor in the last serious flooding in London.

    Feels like it is getting colder out as well. Odds on Snow before the end of the month ???

  274. 274
    Ah! newer Headlines says:

    Come to think of it…

    ” If only ‘They’ had dredged the North Sea”

    Blood Dutch, sending their foreign water over here.

  275. 275
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Cornelius Vermuyden -a better quality Nick Clegg.

  276. 276
    Big Farmer says:

    A river channel capacity is usually very low compared to the full floodplain.

    Dredging may improve the flow rate at full flood by 5-10% at most. Most of the water is not in the river channel at maximum flow.

    Water levels wouldn’t be much different.

    The real problem is more concrete surfaces upstream, winter ploughing, drainage of uplands etc etc etc

    Oh, and very very wet weather.

    Another clue to the problems in Somerset are in the county name, FFS. The Vikings obviously considered it unusable in winter.

  277. 277
    David Cameron, mother-fucker says:

    Has it been raining ?

  278. 278
    cheche says:

    Oh David this is what happened when I had my nose operated on.

    Thwat looks awshful

    Not as bas as your’s

  279. 279
    Grrr says:

    I think a revolutionary wanker from the Socialist Worker has wandered onto the wrong website.

  280. 280
    Táxpáyér says:

    I should have added “they claim that” to the front. Yep homoeopathic concentrations of airborne plant-food heats and cools, makes it flood and cause droughts.

    An insulator that makes it warmer?

  281. 281

    Another Milimong photo we really must get an exhibition together!

  282. 282

    Not a firing squad, blunt rusty bayonets!

  283. 283

    800 years of dredging and flood management destroyed in 3 years by the Eurotraitors ,they must be slowly garroted.

  284. 284

    Team AGW should start by killing themselves. if they think the world is over populated.

  285. 285

    Its their culture innit!!!

  286. 286

    Pissing down you c-unt!!!

  287. 287


  288. 288


  289. 289

    I have lost all my drought resistant cactus they’ve been washed away

  290. 290

    HIDEOUSLY white scum let em drown.

  291. 291
    Podiceps says:

    That’s like saying ‘a slightly less lethal version of bubonic plague’. Vermuyden was a brilliant engineer. Clegg might just about serve as a draught excluder if boned and stuffed with kapok.

  292. 292
    Owen Jones says:

    Chuka’s knob tasted off today. Wonder if he’s been at the asparagus again

  293. 293
    Wells Mercury says:

    Team AGW believe in leading by example, just like the Fabians.

  294. 294
    Fly on the wall says:

    Of course he does – at least 10 minutes a day to clock on/off for his 300 quid daily allowance.

  295. 295
    Fly on the wall says:

    Hope that ‘pedestrian’ can get himself a good lawyer and sue the shit out of that fucking thick idiot who is not, it seems, even actually an authorised policeperson. Also the genuine cops need taking down a peg or two. The revolution really is drawing closer daily.

  296. 296
    Anonymous says:

    Its amazing isn’t it,took a visit by HRH to persuade the media to shine a torch into the blocked drains off the env agency. Since that visit we have seen a procession of the grate and the good at Burrowbridge.
    DC deigned to pay a visit after belatedly worrying about devolution, with his wellies, Lord Smith with his shiny new waterproofs and now having finished his pro EU Commissar propaganda Mr Clegg. Groups marked by their absence are Labour and the EU Commission. Labour I guess do not care where the Nations food originates and the Commission is keeping its head down lest anyone ask the range and scale of their responsibilities in this sorry matter.

  297. 297
    Anonymous says:

    Someone should have given andor a bucket and told him to get baling.

  298. 298
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    BBC is reporting that there is no evidence to suggest that the flooding is not caused by climate change so , er, then it must be caused by climate change.

    Certainly causes all the warmist nutters to raise their little profiles once more.

  299. 299
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Moronic idea.

  300. 300
    Fly on the wall says:

    … and the ONLY reason for that was because they banned apostrophes!

  301. 301
    Fly on the wall says:

    Just read his name properly CONner – it tells you all you need to know

  302. 302
    RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

    Campbell suffering depression again? Wonder why?

  303. 303
    Bla*ksmiff says:

    Pitchforks have already been sharpened if that happens again.

  304. 304
    RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

    Wakey, wakey, time for the workers to get out out of bed and earn some more dosh and pay more taxes, so our illustrious Gov’t can send even more money abroad………

    F*ck the UK infrastructure, just make sure we can deliver £12bn in foreign aid!

  305. 305
    Bla*ksmiff says:

    His pension(s).

  306. 306
    RomaBob.... Beeeeg Issue! says:

    This is a real vote winner for the Tories :)

  307. 307
    Fly on the wall says:

    .. no political will, you mean? I bet there is enormous public will to deal with it and have cvnts like that back on today’s plane to Harare.

  308. 308
    Fly on the wall says:

    Probably what the good folk living by the Norfolk Broads did and told the EU and its local British minions to fuck off and mind their own business.

  309. 309
    Fly on the wall says:

    Yes! Stuck in the stocks with stacks of specially sharpened sticks with which the public can poke him (or stick it to him, if you prefer).

  310. 310
    Fly on the wall says:

    En passant, have any of the muzzie ghettos been flooded out yet? They are quite used to this sort of occurrence back in bong o’bongo land where most of them come from.

  311. 311
    Fly on the wall says:

    .. especially to an official cocktail party. Is he another of these millionaire socialists we constantly read about?

  312. 312
    Fly on the wall says:

    You got that right – they certainly grate on all of us!

  313. 313
    Fly on the wall says:

    Ed: Wassup love?

    Baglady: The bennies office was shut when I got there.

  314. 314

    HRH is another ecolunatic he’s part of the problem.

  315. 315
    bubble says:

    “And shirtlifters are not a majority – yet”

    In parliament – wouldn’t bet on it.

  316. 316
    wiggia says:

    The actual quote was “aid money spent in a sustainable way in other countries will help alleviate extreme weather in the UK” , quote of the week ? and to which I would add, prove it ?

  317. 317
    bubble says:

    Nah. It’s parliament becoming an irrelevant rubber stamp to the EU supreme soviet that has led to them becoming so corrupted imo. On the one hand only the totally corrupt would willingly go along with the EU’s big lie and on the other now that they are irrelevant what else have they got to do apart from fiddle their expenses and engage in their fave perversions. I expect the pretend parliament in the Soviet Union was the same.

  318. 318
    Mmmmm says:

    Dredging stopped in 1998 all equipment sold in 2006

    Good troll though but for the facts

  319. 319
    bubble says:

    the political class is riddled with *****-*********.

  320. 320
    Brian, Prince of Wallies says:

    Fear not, I’ve come to soak up your floods.

  321. 321
    Who let these cunts pretend to run anything? says:

    Plenty of backdoor jobs.

  322. 322
    UKIP does what it says on the tin says:

    The EU makes it wishes known by diktat to its regional collaborators and they instantly obey to the letter and beyond like the pathetic vassal creeps they are. Our foreign masters enjoy the loyal unquestioning support of their regional collaborators like the liblabcon.

    There is nothing the regional liblabcon satraps will not do for their foreign masters, they are so loyal they are now legally obliged to obey the EU regardless of the consequences.

    Fanatical unquestioning loyalty and total obedience, that is all our foreign masters require of their regional stooge puppet regimes and in return they allow these stooges to thieve from the public funds, that is how a Mafia clan is run.

    The liblabcon act more like a Vichy regime every day, a Stonybridge parish council of puffed up self important traitors and crooks and perverts and degenerates. Perfect material for the EU then.

  323. 323
    Hugh Manatee says:

    Just the boy sheep. He no like the girl sheep.

  324. 324
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Now Miliband is stuck in the floods, can we call him MaroonEd?

  325. 325
    Who let these cunts pretend to run anything? says:

    “Wanker” for short.

  326. 326
    Who let these cunts pretend to run anything? says:

    Checking out possibilities for one of this year’s many holidays.

  327. 327
    One of Alan's five a Day. says:

    It is an Agency… All Agencies are of European origin.

    The creation of Agencies is the Tool used to transfer power and control from the British Civil Service to the EU. Nike told you this on the news.


  328. 328
    The rightie doth protest too much methinks says:

    Morning righties! Another day of obsessing about “bum sex” as usual? You righties do seem to have a rather disproportionate fixation with gay sex. I wager some of you think about gay sex more than gays do.

  329. 329

    I know that, but it’s only in the last three years or so that the effects are being felt ,it takes time for rivers and drains to silt up probably going unnoticed for years until an unusually wet winter comes along .

  330. 330
    Damp squid says:

    The widespread flooding was a deliberate result of EA planning. They made sure that a bonfire of the quangos could never be lit.

  331. 331
    One of Alan's five a Day. says:

    Nigle not Nike. F-‘!€ in predick’ive texts.

  332. 332
    bubble says:


  333. 333
    Miilicnut says:

    End milliband just on the news

    “This is a wake up call for flood defence”

    That’s the fucking flood defences that you CNuts never built and deferred and even removed cash from to pay for your vanity projects while you Milliband were nvironment secretary


    Yet no one reporter challenges him despite all the evidence being there. What type of journalists have we now got FFS

  334. 334

    Hose pipe bans are an absolute nailed on banker ,the first ones will of course be in Somerset !

  335. 335
    bubble says:

    “The population of Britain was a lot smaller back then and they weren’t stupid enough to build on flood-plains.”

    It’s not stupidity it’s a housing shortage caused by unlimited mass immigration.

  336. 336
    I signed the law as that allowed this to happen says:

    Just call him a Cnut as that’s what he is

  337. 337
    One UKIP u will get milliband says:

    Of do fuck off

  338. 338
    bubble says:

    more green bollox. i’m starting to really hate ****ing greens.

  339. 339
    Anonymous says:

    I have a vision that you are sat in some darkened basement somewhere surrounded by porn videos and comics and never speak to the neighbours.

  340. 340
    bubble says:

    “Everyone is blaming the Environment Agency but they are only responsible for clearing and dredging the main waterways, not the ditches and drainage channels.”

    They STOPPED the farmers clearing the ditches.

  341. 341
    Flipper says:

    Common porpoise invade the Thames.

  342. 342
    Anonymous says:

    Why is this not on the MSM

    The problem was fixed in position years befor the coalition came to power


  343. 343
  344. 344

    Do you seriously expect the BBC to challenge Miliband?

  345. 345
    You won't see this on BBC news says:

    Indeed but you said 3 years as if this started in 2010. then you go on and accept that it did not and the other twats were responsible. Make your mind up you were trolling for Labour and not very well either.

    this is yet another labour bombshell going off under anyone else who followed them. It is in fact criminal but as usual the other parties will get the blame as they try to sort out a mess that was made by Labour.
    Jeez in 2015 they will be back in power and we will probably be better calling the place Atlantis if that happens.

  346. 346
    albacore says:

    Well, they’re not that much frazzled about them there floods
    But ain’t you dazzled how they deliver the goods
    On the real serious stuff like smoking in cars
    And they’re not joking, our Parliamentary czars


  347. 347
    Anonymous says:

    Woman to Millitwat

    ” and they are going to vote you back in FFS, did they not learn the last time Labour fucked the country”

  348. 348
    Troughing Mediocrities R Us says:

    We’re the people who run the country. We haven’t got a fucking clue. But shit always rises to the top.

  349. 349
    Ooooh get you says:

    It must have been a cold night in the public toilets dearie.

  350. 350
    One Term Dave says:

    Have no fear. I’m on the case. I’ve got a new bagful of promises to dish out.

  351. 351
    bubble says:

    this country is being deliberately murdered

  352. 352
    Mad Frankie Maude says:

    The women doing the curling are getting into positions that remind me of the Karma Sutra.

  353. 353
    bubble says:

    spot on

    don’t let green ****s anywhere near anything important because they *want* it to go back to wilderness

  354. 354
    bubble says:

    lying green sh*te

  355. 355
    bubble says:

    green sh*te

  356. 356
    Swampy says:

    Mind you, why’s a hippy environmentalist protester driving a Mercedes anyway? I suppose it’s because his wife is using the 4×4 for teh school run.

  357. 357
    lojolondon says:

    Foreign aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Simples.

  358. 358
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    It wasn’t a fag “man” (if you catch my drift)

  359. 359
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    You mean NIGEL.

  360. 360
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Bristol administrations have a deserved reputation for not managing to get things done.

  361. 361
    Lost in the wilderness says:

    Hammond on Sky saying military resourses are on standby for deployment when needed, but POLICE Gold Command have said they are not needed at present. This is a major incident but it cannot be the responsibilkity of the police to oversee.

  362. 362
    Mad Al says:

    Have mercy, Jesu!–Soft! I did but dream.
    O coward conscience, how dost thou afflict me!
    The lights burn blue. It is now dead midnight.
    Cold fearful drops stand on my trembling flesh.
    What do I fear? myself? there’s none else by:
    Alistair loves Al; that is, I am I.
    Is there a murderer here? No. Yes, I am:
    Then fly. What, from myself? Great reason why:
    Lest I revenge. What, myself upon myself?
    Alack. I love myself. Wherefore? for any good
    That I myself have done unto myself?
    O, no! alas, I rather hate myself
    For hateful deeds committed by myself!
    I am a villain: yet I lie. I am not.
    Fool, of thyself speak well: fool, do not flatter.
    My conscience hath a thousand several tongues,
    And every tongue brings in a several tale,
    And every tale condemns me for a villain.
    Perjury, perjury, in the high’st degree
    Murder, stem murder, in the direst degree;
    All several sins, all used in each degree,
    Throng to the bar, crying all, Guilty! guilty!
    I shall despair. There is no creature loves me;
    And if I die, no soul shall pity me:
    Nay, wherefore should they, since that I myself
    Find in myself no pity to myself?
    Methought the souls of all that I had murder’d
    Came to my tent; and every one did threat
    To-morrow’s vengeance on the head of Campell.

  363. 363
    bob says:

    I’d suffer from depression if I was that c*nt.

  364. 364
    a JCB operator says:

    ….the aim of management is to maintain the wildlife value of ditches…..
    and most certainly not to have them dredged…


  365. 365
    bubble says:

    ” If only ‘THEY’ had dredged The Thames “

    Don’t crow too soon. The problem in Somerset is the water not draining. If other areas flood and then go back to normal in a day or two it will further highlight the completely unnecessary twat-made nature of the problem in Somerset.

  366. 366
    bubble says:

    True but at least he understands how drainage works.

  367. 367
    dogleg says:

    The BBC this morning is spinning the climate change story even more, this time in Wales, where apparently many coastal communities are now being considered for “managed retreat”, starting in 2025. Just like in America, with Katrina and the Deep Horizon explosion, the idea is to make people’s homes worthless on the Welsh coasts by frightening them out, with stories about how the sea will get them. Afterwards, the rich bastards will step in and buy the land up cheap for their own filthy projects, having coralled all the people into sardine-tin flats.

  368. 368
    bubble says:

    LibLab are the political wing of the BBC. Con are the gimp they keep locked in a box to fool the public into thinking there’s still an opposition.

  369. 369
    Big Farmer says:

    A quality argument. I take it you must be a hydrologist?

  370. 370
    E Nock says:

    No comment.

  371. 371
    Enoch Davies says:

    Well you just turn the ground floor into a garage and live on the top floors.

    When it rains heavy get the Council to sound off a siren and move your cars to high ground.

    You English are complete twats.

  372. 372
    a reporter from the Daily Planet says:

    Yes little François had his late night meeting in a 2.5m euro flat allegedly rented in the name of someone who has a conviction for money laundering and links to the Corsican Mafia.

    Do you understand what id going on.

  373. 373

    They all forget one thing ,the remnants of the army would not fill Old Trafford

  374. 374
    gordon says says:

    Who gave Smith 11 jobs ….we have a right to know

  375. 375

    I am insulted that anyone imagines that I troll for Labour I despise them and their EU puppet masters with a vengeance , many things that are now happening ,not only the floods are the result of the Labour time bomb that has been ticking away under the surface for years.
    Their actions cannot be even described as blunders ,they were acting with calculated malfeasance.

  376. 376
    Person from Porlock says:


  377. 377
    Club of Rome says:

    You wanna say this winter is proof of climate change? Then when we get a normal winter next year, we will say to you it proves there’s no climate change.

  378. 378
    Loosehead says:

    Then we should be sending aid to countries to the west of us.

  379. 379
    Loosehead says:

    Damn right. We don’t blame the EA workers, we blame the lack of leadership.

  380. 380
    SarumSea says:


  381. 381
    SarumSea says:

    D’you hear there….I say again:

  382. 382
    SarumSea says:


  383. 383
    Ocean person says:

    “The amount of times they said it was the result of climate change I nearly choked.”

    Oh, p l e a s e let us re-name it climate variability. The term climate change has been hijacked by politicians who don’t want to mention global warming.

  384. 384
    freddy says:

    they are fucking CORRUPT £1.5 million on £150 licence thats value for money shut them down www north mill avoncliff

  385. 385
    Nige says:

    Number 168 – to fucking true. Its time for the revolution brothers -UKIP!

  386. 386
    Dizzy Ringo says:

    If you really want the background as to why there have been floods, you need to have a look at the EU Referendum blog by Dr Richard North.

    In a far off corner of Europe, a long long time ago , a number of bureaucrats and the great and good called Kommisars no sorry Commissioners, came up with a cunning plan to return large parts of the countries to nature. They said they wanted to “make room for water” aka flooding and wanted to preserve the natural diversity. The fact that the current floods have killed off the voles appears to be neither here nor there.

    DEFRA and the EA wrenched control of the local drainage boards away from the locals and started dictating how things were to be organised. At the time the leader was Baroness Young whose main claim to fame was as the national head of the RSPB and she was much in favour of spending the £31Mn on a new wildlife sanctuary. And one of the important things they stopped doing was dredging the rivers.

    Noone in the comments has mentioned the fact that the fens and the broads have not flooded. Know why? Drainage is still organised locally.

  387. 387
    Who IS Harry's dad? says:

    Not when they are living in the high street at Sunbury in Thames.

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