February 10th, 2014

Environment Agency Flood Warning Service Down

Well at least they’re on top of everything over at the Environment Agency:

Click to enlarge.

Shockingly, attempts to solve the problem don’t seem to be going well:

Perhaps their servers are underwater…


  1. 1
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    After the Labour reign of terror came the rain of terror :-)

  2. 2
    Tune in says:

    Black Dee & White Dee lezzing off for their bennies!!

  3. 3
    Soaked Beaver says says:

    on it now it’s working fine?

  4. 4
    Jack says:

    Perhaps they have offshored their servers


  5. 5
    Jack says:

    Perhaps they have offshored their servers


  6. 6
    Big Farmer says:

    Works fine for me?

  7. 7
    David Cameron PM says:

    You’re out of touch
    I’m out of time
    But I’m out of my head
    When you’re not around

  8. 8
    Penfold says:

    Just demonstrates the in-built incompetence.
    Useless toss pots.

  9. 9
    These fuckers must all be deaf! says:

    It’s non-stop in the MSM BBC News 24, Sky News, ITV FFS!

  10. 10
    The Usual.... says:

    How typical of Cameron. He pointedly reserves his praise for those ‘on the ground’ in the Environment Agency, then throws a hissy-fit when pursued for a decent answer on Chris Smith…

  11. 11
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    I blame all this rain on these Heathite Tory wets, it’s time to send in the Thatherite dries to end the flooding :-)

  12. 12
    Oleg and Roman says:

    We will be sending our yachts to the rescue

    We will distribute cakes

  13. 13
    If We Are Going To Be HoNEST says:

    Yes let’s talk about Climate Change shall we?

    How about for a start this fucking ISLAND is obviously OVERFUCKINGCROWDED and it’s resources stretched to the fucking limit and we need to stop building fucking houses on Flood Plains.

    So you can nip mass immigration in the bud right now and fuck off to Africa or somewhere if you don’t like it.

  14. 14

    Hopefully, they will be flooded with litigation.

  15. 15
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Whichever party leader exposes man-made climate change as a massive fraud to raise more tax,destroy jobs & industry and then goes on to abolish all taxes on petrol,electricity and gas will win the biggest landslide victory in history.

    Remember that furry animals don’t vote unlike angry farmers/residents and that motorists vastly outnumber cyclists and that electricity and gas bill payers vastly outnumber eco-loons from Islington when it comes to a general election :-)

  16. 16
  17. 17
    lojolondon says:

    Lucky the AE is not really any kind of emergency service, and the British public has learnt not to depend on them for anything….

  18. 18
    The Usual.... says:

    Plenty of empty space on the higher ground of Northern England and Scotland?

    But then all the money’s drained (no pun intended) to London and the South-East… You’d have to be an idiot to move away now.

    I wonder who’s fault that was?

  19. 19
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    “Perhaps their servers are underwater …”
    The msm going into ballistic climate change overdri.ve

    Haven’t the EA got enough SUBordinates and haven’t the msm got too many SUBeditors?

    Aren’t they all SUBsumed with this bloody myth in their pitiful attempt to SUBorn the people into believing their SUBject matter is true in order to SUBject the people to more SUBs from their taxes?

  20. 20
    Bill Quango MP/6 says:

    we haven’t been talking about anything else for years have we?
    But OK – Here’s my 2p.

    Scrap the useless windfarms. Properly scrap, recycle, dismantle, etc.
    Allow coal and gas energy. But pay the pointless eco loon tax on fossil fuels.

    This will do sweet fa to halt the changing climate. But it will give us a big fund to plan flood defences, have more pumping stations. Have more helicopters. A standby ‘national guard’ if we want. Boats. food. Water tankers etc.

    + look look at the water drainage as a drought is certainly coming next. And all extreme weather situations. – Snow – ice – wind.
    And set up a mini ‘disaster’ agency that can swing into action for cold/wind/drought/rain/ etc.

    It won’t cost any more than the eco bollox attempt to Canute the weather into submission. Our piddly contribution from the UK to global warming has been documented often enough.
    So if we double our 0.2% contribution to 2% or even 4% it still won’t matter. But at least we’d have plenty of cash to deal with the disasters as they occur and to plan to mitigate the changing climate and lesson its effects.

    What say you greenies? Stop trying to make windmills power an industrialised nation and try and deal with the world as it is and not how you dream it should be?

  21. 21
    The Cheshire Cat says:

    They are too busy building wind turbines to try to change the direction of the Gulf Stream

  22. 22
    Kit says:

    The BBC is telling me about Climate change NOT talking to me about it cause they band all discussion a few years back except on a few occasions when they treat sceptics like flat earthers, nor are they telling me about climate change caused by human activity; they are just telling me they were right all along cause the climate has changed. Well no shit Sherlock! As far as I know no one thinks the climate is not changing

  23. 23
    EA says:

    EA sports. Its in the drain.

  24. 24
    Chef says:

    Old Greens Smell Bad

  25. 25
    Noah says:

    Anybody seen our lost giraffe? The boat is about to leave ….

  26. 26
    Self-Reliance Culture says:

    Why is everyone waiting for this nonsense from London to act? Far too many people expect The State to save them from bad weather.

    Get busy with your own defences, buy some sand and sacks and make sandbags, hire a pump. Be self-reliant.

  27. 27
    The Greens says:

    But IF we had been allowed to ban all fossil fuels at least those people could be sitting in their freezing, unheated, unpowered homes, kept warm by their own smug sense of self satisfaction at being a selfless goodie!.

  28. 28
    The North says:

    Ours. For being such a shit hole no one will move here.

  29. 29
    A NIMBY says:

    You’re making the case for HS2.

  30. 30
    If We Are Going To Be HoNEST says:


    Not if they leave the union there won’t be.

    Face it, your little dream is going to end one way or another, mother nature will see to it. There is finite room, we’re headed to full capacity, the end.

  31. 31
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    The Global Warmists – throughout the msm and the LibLabCon – are ‘THE world class laughing stock’ of deniers …

    Please keep all this public entertainment up. The Circus has been in London Town since 1997 and it’s now a permanent circus.

  32. 32
    Call for Marshall Law says:

    Flooding: Plea for Army aid to stop “looting and sight-seeing”


  33. 33
    Gelion says:

    Surely now’s the time for the govt. to can HS2, a pointless c*** waving exercise if ever there was one. Billions spent over 20-30 years which will inevitably rise 100-200% by the time we’re finished, to achieve what? 20min knocked off Birmingham to London, ready for when the vast majority of buisness will be conducted on-line, they’re already on a mainline service, unlike the south west anymore.

    Like so many things these days (Membership of the EU and Immigration being two others) we’re constantly told by the “great & the good” on question time (for example), how this must be done (or maintained) for economic reasons…. no one ever explains what these are we’re just expected to accept it as we couldn’t possibly understand what with our tiny brains…
    So just how will HS2 benefit the businesses of the north of England, over and above the system already in place?

    Would a few billion spent on improving fibre optic and the rest on dredging the rivers and reconnecting the south west main line not be a better bet. Not for this lot apparently they need to leave a legacy.

  34. 34
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    What do you think people pay their taxes for you numbskull common propoise bonehead?

  35. 35
    The Poof In Residence says:

    Peter Tatchell astonishing us all with the news that the captain of the England women’s football team is gay. Well I never!

  36. 36
    The Greens says:

    Don’t lecture us! We practically invented self sufficiency.
    And being self sufficient means taxing the fuck out of everyone so only the state can provide everything from bread to wiping your nose.

  37. 37
    Professor Popkiss says:

    Just a thought, and I know it’s a long shot, but could it be that Britain is sinking due to increasing population, therefore increasing our risk of flooding?

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Works for me too.

  39. 39
    The Joker says:

    When Chris Smith was given top job at the Environment Agency he was told to make the countryside, “fit for purpose”.

    He apparently misheard and thought they said, “fit for porpoise”.

  40. 40
    peterthepainter says:

    Been working OK for me. However, their updates are utter sphericals as you never can tell which comment is applicable. There are two up for my postcode one says Flood warning and the other says none.

  41. 41
    Lic/Lab/Con soon to be Toast vote UKIP says:

    Fill body bags with media mong’s to back up the sand bags

  42. 42
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Better still check to see if your surveyor, when you purchased the property, warned you about the house being built on a flood-plain and therefore liable for severe flooding and a much higher insurance premium.

    If the surveyor didn’t warn you of this then sue his fuckin’ arse :-)

  43. 43

    Will the last one to leave, pull the plug:

  44. 44
    Red Ed Rubberband says:

    It’s not a shit hole. The inhabitants are intolerant to anyone who isn’t from a council estate and talk in grunting language no one else can understand. That’s why no one else can live or work in the north.

  45. 45
    Common Man says:

    Perhaps the EA servers are shared with the Guardian’s servers…

  46. 46
    Cinna says:

    And the other ten aren’t?

  47. 47
    Cinna says:

    That would make sense, all those people in the sarf of England.

  48. 48
    Leo says:

    Mmm, yumyum

  49. 49
    Half of fucking Romania says:

    We’re on our way now

  50. 50
    @# says:

    David Cameron is the most incredibly reckless and irresponsible politician. He should not be prime minister. He really is a danger and a liability. The reality is that Cameron knows very well that the EA has probably done the best it can hampered by Cameron’s and Osborne’s budget cutting

  51. 51
    thostids says:

    I don’t want to draw one’s attention to a rather large number of Asians in the Northern Mill Towns (despite Government efforts to obscure the real number by not including second and subsequent generations of immigrant families). Or did one precede the other?

  52. 52
    Long John Silver 's parrot says:


  53. 53
    altruism in industry says:

    is Pickles the elephant in the room ?

  54. 54
    Danish Zookepper says:

    The giraffe’s dead. EU rules, I’m afraid.

  55. 55
    Bloke says:

    Maybe they’re under staffed?

    Just askin’….

  56. 56
    Th Lib/Lab/Con says:

    Keep Calm & Vote UKIP

  57. 57
    LOL says:

    Every time he opens his stupid mouth!

  58. 58
    Point of View says:

    Pickles speak’s with pickled brain.

  59. 59
    The Usual.... says:

    Chris Smith is wondering at this very moment whether to buy the t-shirt or not…

  60. 60
    Fatson & Miss Direction says:


  61. 61
    broderick crawford says:

    good freudian slip @ 17 lojo

    yes i agree good job the A@E is not really any kind of an emergency service etc …..

  62. 62
    broderick crawford says:

    wot … in addition to under …. water ??

  63. 63

    Sort of reminds me of haring across 200km to the Brit consulate after a mate had his passport half inched.
    “You do know this service is available on our website”
    “What the one mentioned on your lost passport recorded message masquerading as a helpline? Well show me.”

    Page unavailable

    Had been for 3 days

  64. 64
  65. 65
    Graham says:

    This quango employs more than 11,000 people. An assorted number of paper clip counters , tick box tickers , tree huggers , green idiots , Range Rover drivers , vole lovers, etc etc. , all on large salaries ring fenced pensions. That is where the money goes , and these fucking clowns are more interested in creating bird sanctuaries rather than dredging rivers (stopped in 2002 under Liebour , BBC doesn’t mention that ) or protecting the Dawlish sea wall and preventing coastal erosio.

  66. 66
    Graham says:

    One thing I would like to see under water is a big drip called Chris Smith. He’s bloody clueless.

  67. 67
    The Public says:

    FFS, can these people not read a basic graph? These people are dangerous idiots.


    There has been no global warming for almost 18 years now. What we are experiencing in it’s technical term, is commonly referred to as weather.

    People had better get used to it, because if (as quite a few now suspect) we are heading into a new little ice age, then the jet stream fluctuations are only going to intensify – sometimes producing extremely cold protracted winters, and sometimes extreme storminess.

  68. 68
    The Public says:

    We should be talking about how EU policy, blindly followed by the useless establishment parties has contributed to this flooding

  69. 69
    The other half of Romania says:

    We’ll meet you at Heathrow.

  70. 70
    Get the Lamp Posts ready says:

    To be honest, it shows how out of touch the establishment is, there’s nothing more likely to make the public want to give them a bloody nose than having to hear the bollocks lies that the flooding is down to climate change, when bloody global temperature have been flat for 18 years and UK temperatures have been dropping for a decade.

  71. 71
    Rightwinggit says:

    Open fire.

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